Flanders Nickels, a born-again Christian, suddenly finds himself in a countryside paradise which calls itself ‘the land.’ He discovers the girl Gravel—the bride of the land—at her home amid the waterfalls in the most utopian place of the land. For his good and for her good and for the land’s good, Gravel must counsel him upon two temptations that are in his life, and he must heed her advice and get right with God about them. One of his temptations is his unsaved girlfriend. And his other temptation is his one-piece swimsuit fetish.
THE BRIDE OF THE LAND—A PREQUEL
Mr. Morgan P. McCarthy
The young man found himself coming up out of a flowing waters and standing in the flowing waters, himself half in and half out of the flowing waters. His head poured water down his face and across his eyes and down to his neck. His whole torso and his arms dripped water. And he found all of his clothes wet—his blue jeans and his flannel shirt and his inner apparel and a dark blue hat. The first thing he did was to take off his hat and examine it. Inside it read, “Jiffy—roll up.” Not recognizing this, he put it back on his head, wiped his eyes, and looked around at where he suddenly was. He saw a
completely unfamiliar countryside– indeed a pastoral paradise—and he was standing waist deep in a beautiful rustic creek in the middle of nowhere. Down in the creek three feet deep, he could see a pair of dark brown penny loafers with pennies in them and no socks where his feet stood. Then this man noticed a little vortex spinning about where he stood in the little creek, and as he watched this fascinating little vortex it gradually abated until the waters about him were all still. What was he doing here? From where had he come? Was there a time before here for him? Was he just beginning in life?
Looking around in this peaceful and isolated utopia, this young man asked out into the horizon, “Where
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am I?” And he found his own tongue answering his own question with two inexplicable words, “The land.” He did not know what made him to say that. This place must be “the land,” then. Maybe it was the land that had answered his question through his tongue. This place called ‘the land” must truly be a most magical realm, and he was lucky enough to have come here. This young man then waded out to the shore, climbed up the bank of land, and stepped out onto the dry ground of the land. Indeed quite golden rays of sunlight in the blue sky flowed down upon fields here and everywhere about like unto meteor showers. Living and glorious and free flying birds filled the sky. Living and noble and divine mammals filled the ground. Living and variegated and leaping fish filled the creek. And most verdant meadows of tall field grass were dotted with deciduous and coniferous trees of all heights and widths.
He then wondered how he had gotten here. In quick learning, he went ahead to ask the land, “How did I get here?” And the land had this man’s tongue to say, “The Good Lord brought you here,” Ah, the Good Lord. And at once this puzzled man of many questions in a brand new world came to remember the Lord Jesus Christ, this man’s own personal Saviour. This young man now clearly remembered having been a born-again Christian in his life before here. He had been a born-again believer living for God in a place called “the world.” And now he was a believer living here in the land. He still could not remember where he was last just before having come up out of this creek. Nor could he remember anything else about the world other than Christ Jesus. It was a mystery. But, as he was thinking about his so-familiar best friend the Lord, an even greater comfort and happiness came upon him in this land already abundant with comfort and happiness. He did not see any other people around here in this part of the land. But God was here as were all of these things about him made by God. Then the land spoke silent thoughts into his head and his heart saying, “Go where I bid you.” And this man began to walk to where the land bade him. And he found himself walking along the banks of this flowing creek,
trekking alongside of it upstream. After about an hour of pleasing and refreshing walk, this Christian man thought to hear the sounds of roaring waters. It was different from the sounds of flowing waters
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that he had become blissfully acquainted with here in the land. This new sound was like the sound of pouring waters. He remembered having read the Bible where it said that God’s voice was as the sound of many waters. God was truly in the land everywhere as its divine Maker. But these falling waters up ahead that he could now hear were definitely of the creek and not of God Himself speaking. He began to walk very fast toward this beatific sound. And as he drew nearer and the sound waxed louder he began to run toward it, the land leading him perhaps into the land’s very center.
And there it was, a waterfalls steep and resonant and heavenly. This cascade flowed down into the creek from above. This was where the creek began here in the land. And the land now told him in its silent thoughts, “Your name is Flanders Nickels.”
He was entranced by these waterfalls. And he fell in love with this heart of the land right here. And he beheld a utopia right here in this land by these waterfalls that exceeded even the utopia of the rest of the land that he had just hiked through. These waterfalls were more angelic to the eyes than were cherubims and seraphim, and they were more musical to the ears than were carols sung by a church choir, and they were more refreshing to the nose than were late spring rain showers in the countryside. They began upward above Flanders’s head about six or seven of his own heights, and they ended upon a creek bed of glittering rocks and minerals of all the colors of the rainbow shining up through the waters all the way to the surface. Little spectrums of rainbows leaped up out the waters here at the bottom of this cascade and floated up to the sky and dissipated. Behind these waterfalls was a steep perpendicular cliff of glittering slate and shale. And shining down from Heaven upon the stretch of creek from these waterfalls to a tiny island about one hundred feet downstream were rays of colors of bronze. And in these first hundred feet of creek was a creek bed of deep red clay. This island downstream was the size of a living room of a house, and its lateral shores were equidistant to the shores of the land left and right. Its green grass of lawn was pristine, like the Garden of Eden before sin had come into it. Two little little wooden footbridges crossed the waters of the divided creek from
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this island to their opposite respective shores, one on one side and one on the other side.. On the left side of the creek between the island and the waterfalls was a sublime garden of cattail plants, tall and blowing in the breezes and with furry brown heads. These cattails were in perfect rows and perfect columns as if tended to by a master gardener. And rays of brass showered down upon them from the firmament. The land told him that these were here since the third day of creation. On the right side
of this creek, also between the cascade and the island, was an ethereal garden of horsetail plants, short and green and partitioned in their stems. A master gardener must have tended to this garden as well, its rows and columns in perfect order. Rays of copper showered down upon these horsetails from the skies. Also the land told his spirit, “These horsetails were made on the third day of creation.”
Then Flanders heard the singing voice of a young woman whom he could not yet see, and it was coming from behind the waterfalls somewhere, and it was the hymn, “Shall We Gather at the River?”
And he listened rapturously:
“1. Shall we gather at the river, Where bright angel feet have trod,
With its crystal tide forever Flowing by the throne of God?
Yes, we’ll gather at the river, The beautiful, the beautiful river,
Gather with the saints at the river That flows by the throne of God.
- On the bosom of the river, Where the Savior-King we own,
We shall meet and sorrow never ‘Neath the glory of the throne.
Yes, we’ll gather at the river, The beautiful, the beautiful river,
Gather with the saints at the river That flows by the throne of God.
- Ere we reach the shining river, Lay we every burden down;
Grace our spirits will deliver And provide a robe and crown.
Yes, we’ll gather at the river, The beautiful, the beautiful river,
Gather with the saints at the river That flows by the throne of God.
- Soon we’ll reach the shining river, Soon our pilgrimage will cease;
Soon our happy hearts will quiver With the melody of peace.
Yes, we’ll gather at the river, The beautiful, the beautiful river,
Gather with the saints at the river That flows by the throne of God.”
The hymn about Heaven then ended. A moment of cessation of song ended, And a captivating young fairy princess bride appeared right in the midst of the waterfall, standing upon the surface of the
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creek, and her wedding dress was not getting wet. She then stepped out from this cascade, stood upon the waters of the creek, looked at Flanders, and said, “Welcome, Flanders Arckery Nickels. My name is ‘Gravel.’” Her wedding gown was of much abundant pure white silk. It had long sleeves, puffed shoulders, a Basque waistline, a full long skirt, and a train. Her hair, not at all wet from the waterfall that she had just come through, was dark brown, straight, shoulder-length, with bangs, and of entrancing thin wisps that covered all of her head. Her eyes were brown and were alive with the beauty of young womanhood and with the goodness of the Holy Spirit indwelling her. Her form was delightfully and femininely slender. And her feet were bare.
“Who are you, Gravel?” asked Flanders, beholding the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
‘I am the bride of the land,” said Gravel.
Then Gravel gathered up her train from about her feet upon this creek in both of her arms, and she began to walk upon the creek toward him with power given to her from Jesus Who had walked on the waters of the Jordan River in the Scriptures. She did not need to hold up her train from the creek, for her wedding dress that did not get wet from the cascade from above would not get wet from the creek below. But Flanders loved to see her do this anyway in its femininity, and perhaps she could tell this about him.
She then came up to his side of the shore of the creek. He held out his hand to help her up, and she eagerly took it, and he helped her to the shore. “Thank you, Flanders,” she said.
“I am honored to meet the bride of the land, Gravel,” said Flanders Nickels.
“And I am honored to meet the land’s new guest, Flanders,” said Gravel. She then let fall her train, and much abundant pure silk came down to the ground about her feet and his feet.
“I never saw a bride like you before, Gravel,” he said.
“The land has had only one bride all this time, and it is I,” she said.
“You are a most beautiful bride, Gravel,” he said. “I hope that you do not mind that I said that.”
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“Any bride would be flattered to hear you say that to her, kind Flanders. I especially so,” said the bride of the land.
“The land is like Heaven, only it is not Heaven. Isn’t it, Gravel?” he asked.
“It is written, ‘And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.’ Revelation 22:17,” recited the bride of the land Scripture.
“The land is between the world and Heaven. Isn’t it?” asked Flanders.
“Indeed, Flanders,” said Gravel.
“Then these waterfalls must be where you live,” he said.
“Right here at these waterfalls is my home, Flanders,” she said.
“What is it that you do for God as the bride of the land?” asked Flanders.
“Among many things wherein I serve God as the bride of the land, I am also the keeper of this land,” said Gravel. She motioned her one hand toward the garden of cattails; and her other hand toward the garden of horsetails. It was she who was that master gardener. Flanders could tell that she also took care of all the rest of the land throughout its innumerable acres as its God-delegated keeper.
“You keep a paradise,” said Flanders.
“Foremost, I am the counselor here,” she said.
“You give counsel?” he asked.
“I am the adviser here to all of this land’s visitors,” she said.
“You give advice from God here in the land?” he asked her.
“To all who come here in their rareness,” said Gravel
“Then I am not alone here besides you,’ he said.
“Before you, there was but a handful in the land. With you now, there are no others besides myself. After you, there shall be but a handful in the land,” said Gravel in edification.
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“Not many get to come here like I did,” said Flanders. “Not many at all.”
“God brings them in, and God sends them back out,” she said.
“What kind of advice does the counselor of the land give to us who come here?” asked Flanders.
“Holy Ghost wisdom to overcome temptation and sin,” said Gravel.
“There is temptation and sin in the land?” asked Flanders.
“The land is without sin,” she said. “But sin is in the hearts of men and women.”
“A whole world here and no sin,” he said about the land.
“And it is my job to keep sin from coming into the land,” said the bride of the land.
“What do you say to a visitor to keep him from temptation?” he asked.
“I do speak the Word of God, the King James Version Bible verses,” she said.
“How can temptation arise in this place?” he asked.
“People carry their temptations with them in their hearts when they come from the world into the land,” said the comely brunette bride.
“Did I carry any of my temptations from the world into the land?” asked Flanders.
“You have, Flanders,” she said.
“I cannot remember any of them,” he said. “The world is still very blank to me in my memory.”
“You shall soon come to remember more of the world as your time here passes. Flanders,” said the bride of the land.
“I don’t think that I want that to happen,” said Flanders.
“Take comfort, Flanders. With God’s help I have not lost any soul to sin of any who have come here.” said the alluring brown-eyed bride.
“I trust you, Gravel,” he said.
“Trust God,” she said.
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“I shall trust God,” he said.
Just then a flock of deep red cardinals flew by overhead just like a flock of geese would, in an unequal V-pattern. He was captivated by the deep red colors of these male cardinals. And when they passed over, he said, “They are all so red, like the color of my girlfriend’s hair.”
Gravel’s eyes narrowed in reflection of his words. He now remembered his old girlfriend back in the world, and he wondered now whether he should not have told Gravel his recollection thus.
Then a flock of jet black crows swooped down and filled the branches of a little tree not far away. They made a chatter, then swooped away as quickly as they had come.
“They were all so black, like the color of a good black one-piece swimsuit,” said Flanders. Lo, another memory from the world of before. He used to have a fondness for maillots. Again the bride’s eyes narrowed in her thoughts. He wished now that he had not said that to her.
Yet the bride of the land told him. “Do not feel bad about what you just shared with me, Flanders. The world is coming back to your memories. And I see two temptations that you are now bringing into the land. That is how it happens for me in my job with all visitors like yourself. They gradually remember more and more, and I tell them what God has to say about that, and they overcome their temptations. And then they go back to the world with the sweet memories of having been in the land for a little while. And no sin has besmirched the land to the glory of the Maker.”
“I remember her name now, Gravel. Her name was ‘Red Sangria.’ That was my girlfriend back before here,” said Flanders. “She had gorgeous red hair.”
“Flanders, let us go in among the cattails, and let us talk about Red Sangria. I see concerns about her. You can tell me about her and come to remember more about her as you talk, and I can listen and see whether you need or need not counsel about her as long as you live in the land,” said the bride of the land.
“I can do that with you, Gravel,” he said.
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And they came to the cattail garden in the light of falling brass rays, and they sat down among the cattails, and she said, “Red Sangria, Flanders. What kind of woman is she?”
“My Red Sangria is a lady in all respects,” he began, now coming to remember all about her.
“She talks like a lady, acts like a lady, and thinks like a lady. She does not do the bad things that other grown-up women her age do. And she is saving her body for her husband to come. She is most of all
chaste. And she is the most moral girl in town. And she is even prettier on the outside than she already is on the inside, Gravel. There is none like Red anywhere. And God has blessed me with Miss Sangria as my girlfriend.”
“Is Red saved?” asked the bride of the land.
“Red is not saved yet,” he said.
“So, Flanders, you are saved, and she is lost, and you are dating the woman?” challenged Gravel.
“I know that God does not like that so very much,” said Flanders.
“You and I both know that God hates that very much, Flanders,” said Gravel.
“It is a sin for a born-again Christian man to date a woman who is not a born-again Christian,” confessed Flanders wisdom from the Bible and from the sermons at church that he had heard.
“It is written, O wayward young man of God, ‘Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? For ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.’ II Corinthians 6:14-18,” recited wise Gravel.
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“I know those verses,” bragged Flanders Nickels.
“You know these verses, and you do not obey these verses,” said Gravel in succinct rebuke.
“A Christian guy needs to have fun in life, too,” he said. “And the fun I have with Red Sangria is not really sin as such.” He came to remember lots of his fun times with Miss Sangria, and he could not remember one immoral thing that she and he had ever done.
“Unsaved girlfriends think not in the ways of God, and saved boyfriends think in the ways of God, Flanders,” warned the bride of the land. “Stay with her, and she will lead you astray.”
“Maybe I can lead her to Christ if I keep dating her longer,” he said.
“That is the idea of the devil,” said Gravel. “It never works that way.”
“You’re saying then that I should break up with her?” asked Flanders.
“Do you remember how long you have been dating the girl?” asked the bride of the land.
“Oh, a few months now and counting,” he said. “And we have good clean innocent romance, and never bad dirty rotten romance.”
“It shall get worse for you in God if you go back now to the world and resume your unequal yoke with the girl,” warned Gravel.
“Do you think that she and I have not had time enough together as boyfriend-and-girlfriend for her to get me into trouble with God in my walk with Christ?” asked Flanders.
“Flanders, Flanders, you are already in trouble with God for having asked her out without your Pastor’s approval in the first place. The girl will surely cause you to backslide if you leave the land and go back to the world and be with her all over again,” counseled the counsellor. “Do break up with Red Sangria now in the land before you go back to the world.”
“I really have to do that. Don’t I?” he asked, humble and sorrowful.
“Would you do that for the land?” asked Gravel.
“Oh, I do not know if I would do that even for the land,” he said.
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“But would you do that for me?” asked the bride of the land.
“I’d rather not say,” he said, turning away from her beautiful face.
“Would you do that for God?” said Gravel.
“I would do that only for God,” he said.
“You would break up with Miss Sangria for the Lord?” she asked again.
“I would break up with Red for God,” he declared.
“And would you not let yourself fall into any more unequal yokes with any one else again?” asked Gravel.
“If I give up Red for my Jesus, surely I will not go after any other lost girl who might come along,” said Flanders. “What could just any other girl do for my lonely heart compared to Red? For me there is only one Miss Sangria. And in this land I now renounce her as my girlfriend.”
“It is done,” said the bride of the land. He gave no further promises.
“Let us leave these cattails,” he then said. “I feel that all of these cattails are reminders of how I lost the girl.”
“Let us go into the horsetails and discuss your other secret,” she said.
“Is it going to hurt?” he asked.
“It might hurt a little, but it would be for your own good,” she said.
“I will follow you,” he said.
“Follow God,” she said. And they came to the garden of horsetails amid the copper rays coming down from the skies. And the bride and the pupil sat down amid the many horsetails.
“It’s about the one-piece swimsuits. Isn’t it, Gravel?” he asked.
“It could be,” she said. “I must ask and find out.”
“I am ready,” he said. “Ask me anything.”
“What do you think about when I say the word ‘one-piece swimsuit?’” she asked.
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“Do you really want to know?” he asked.
“You can confide in me as much as your heart wishes to in the land,” she said. “No one will hear me give away any secret that you do share with me.”
“When I think about one-piece swimsuits, I start to think about that one thing that Red and I do not dare to do between ourselves,” said Flanders.
“One-piece swimsuits are a little erotic to you. Aren’t they?” she asked.
“A good one-piece swimsuit girlfriend could tempt me to lose my purity, O Gravel,” he said.
“Did you ever get your Miss Sangria to put on a maillot for you?” asked the bride of the land.
‘I wouldn’t dare ask her to,” he said. “Single men are supposed to be abstinent. And I want to keep it that way.”
“Flanders, you’ve got a fetish,” said Gravel.
“I’m getting all excited just thinking about women’s swimwear racks that are probably in all the department stores back in the world right now,” he said.
“And two-piece swimsuits, also, Flanders?” she asked, certain of getting a most voluptuous reply.
“No,” he said, his tone suddenly without its passion. “Not so much with two-piece swimsuits.”
“You are a most unusual fellow,” said Gravel. “You are a healthy young man from the world, and you do not lust after two-piece swimsuit women.”
“One-piece swimsuits are my fetish. Maillots are what drive me crazy. And swimdresses are just as sexy to me,” he said, his tone animated once again.
“Flanders, you best not go to the malls and the department stores back in the world,” she said.
“There are times when I am by myself at the women’s one-piece swimsuit racks when I want to go and buy one for myself,” he said. “But I won’t do that as long as I have Jesus with me.”
“What makes maillots so irresistible to a guy like you?” asked Gravel.
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“It is the cut of the cloth and the feel of the material,” he said.
“The cut of the cloth,” said the bride of the land. “You mean how they show off all of a girl’s curves.”
“In a good one-piece swimsuit, even a woman’s back curves ravishingly,” he said.
“And the feel of the material,” she said.
“Antron Nylon/Lycra Spandex,” he said, himself an expert at reading swimwear tags. “The sexiest fabric ever felt by man or woman.”
“You know more about one-piece swimsuits than even the women who buy them and put them on,” said the bride of the land.
“I know how to say ‘one-piece swimsuit’ in three foreign languages,” he said, “In French it is ‘maillot de bain une pièce.’ In Spanish it is ‘traje de baño una pieza.’ In German it is ‘einteiliger Badeanzug.’”
“You have one more word for one-piece swimsuits,” said Gravel.
“I do,” he said. “It is a Bible word.”
“Say it to me, Flanders,” said the guidance counselor of the land.
“Leaven,” he said. “In my Christian walk of daily temptations with maillots, I call them also ‘leaven.’”
“Leaven is never a good thing when the Bible refers to it,” said Gravel.
“’A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump.’ Galatians 5:9,” he said.
“’Your glorying is not good. Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump?’ I Corinthians 5:6.” said Gravel a parallel Bible verse.
“My leaven is a seducer,” he confessed his great carnal fetish.
“Would you repent of leaven for the land?” asked Gravel.
“I do not know right now,” he said.
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“Would you repent of leaven for me?” asked the keeper of the land.
“I do not know right now,” he said.
“Would you repent of leaven for your Saviour Christ Jesus?” she asked.
“I do not know right now,” he said.
“Dear Lord, forgive him!” cried out in dismay the adviser of Flanders.
“I am sorry, Gravel,” said Flanders. “I apologize to the land and to you and to God.”
“Who can forgive sins but God alone?” she uttered.
“I never wanted to hurt you, Gravel,” said Flanders.
“You will have hurt yourself, Flanders,” she said. “And sin always affects someone else.”
“I want to leave these horsetails now, Gravel,” he said. “These horsetails make me think that I am a maillot pervert with our talk here just now.”
“It is written, Flanders Nickels, ‘There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.’ I Corinthians 10:13,” she said.
And upon his request, the bride and the visitor of the land stood up and left this horsetail garden. They both crossed the footbridge out onto the little island. He went ahead to jump into the creek in all of his clothes as he was always accustomed to do when it came to lakes and rivers and creeks and ponds. She stood there in the short green grass in silent prayers to the God of the land.
Then the bride of the land spoke and said, “Flanders, I am told by God that it is time that I told you the secret of the land who is my groom.”
“Being the bride of the land makes the land your groom,” said Flanders in this reverse understanding of his Gravel and this utopia. He stopped splashing around, stood still in the water a little way from her shore, and looked upon her to hear all of what she had to say now to him.
“Wade in the creek up to me; stand in the water before me; and hear me teach you from up here
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the eschatology unique to this land.” He did so; he spoke not; he gave her all of his ear.
And she prophesied upon the land with the wisdom of the Holy Spirit of God: “After Christ comes in His Second Advent and puts down all evil, he will make the land the place of the marriage of the Lamb and the place of the marriage supper of the Lamb.”
Flanders knew that the Lamb was Christ Himself.
The bride of the land went on to preach wondrous prophecies of the future of this land that she did keep for God: “When the Holy Bible speaks of ‘the bride of Christ.’ in the book of Revelation, it means ‘the whole resurrected church,’ ‘the sum collection of all the saints through the years,’ every last born-again believer everywhere from all of Earth’s history.’ We Christians will become the collective bride of Christ; and Christ will become our singular bridegroom. That will happen right here in the land in the fulness of times. It is, as I have said, ‘the marriage of the Lamb.’ In Revelation 19:7-8, God’s Word says this about that, O Flanders: ‘Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready. And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints.’ You and I and all the saved people out there will make ourselves ready as God’s wife. The marriage will be a spiritual eternal marriage between the Lord and all of His people. And the wedding ceremony shall take place somewhere in the land.”
Then Gravel went on to prophesy further about that other eschatological event that she had revealed to Flanders that would take place here in the future: “Flanders, God’s Word also talks thus about the marriage supper of the Lamb in Revelation 19:9. Therein it is said, ‘And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he saith unto me, These are the true sayings of God.’” The wise bride of the land paused to let this Scripture come into Flanders’s understanding. Yes, that would happen here in the land in time to come, too, he did understand. And she said, “You and I and all of the other Christians from throughout the seven
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dispensations will get to eat with Jesus up in Heaven. Ir will be a feast of the ages. It will be a smorgasbord for millions. It will be a banquet for the family of God. What a dinner that will be for you and for me, O Flanders. I think that I will have a platter of breaded frog legs and a big mug of iced tea with Jesus.”
“Just think how big that dinner table will be here in the land future,” said Flanders.
“There at the marriage supper of the Lamb, I will eat all manner of ambrosia and drink all manner of nectar,” said the bride of the land.
“I can see it now, if I be not brash—Jesus can say to me, ‘Flanders, would you pass the coffeecake?’ and I can say to Him, ‘Jesus, would you pass the strawberry shortcake?’” said Flanders Nickels.
“Delights!” said Gravel. “I like the way you think, Flanders.”
“Awesome!” said Flanders. “As everybody says about awesome things these days.”
“And my ministry to God is to keep sin out of the land,” she said. “A land of sin is not fit for a holy God to celebrate His marriage and His marriage supper.”
“Forbid such a thought, Gravel, but what if sin did happen one time in the land?” asked Flanders. “What then?”
Sudden urgency upon her countenance and staidness to her tone, the bride of the land said, “Do come up to me on my island. I must speak wisdom to the unlearned. Take heed and hear me now.” In obedience Flanders now came up out of the creek and joined her on her island. And Gravel proclaimed before him, “Were sin to come into the land, then God would have to come and clean out the land. He would take out the sin. And He would purge paradise.”
“He would make the land good and new,” said Flanders.
Then the bride of the land said, “But there is more to it than that,”
“What else might happen were sin to come here?” he asked.
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“What you ought to ask, Flanders, is ‘What else would happen were sin to take place here?’” said Gravel.
“But what would happen to you, Gravel?” he asked.
“I would lose my job,” she said. “I will have failed as tutor to my visitors. I am supposed to guide them away from temptation, and they will have given in to temptation. I am accountable for the actions of all whom God brings to the land. And I will no longer be able to serve God as keeper of the
land.”
“It cannot get any worse than that,” said Flanders.
“Oh, but it does,” said Gravel. “Were sin to happen in the land, my marriage with the land will become annulled. The land and I would have to divorce. The land would no longer be my husband; nor I, its wife.”
“Why, you would no longer be the bride of the land!” he cried out.
` “Nor the land, my groom,” said Gravel. “I will no longer wear my wedding gown.”
“That is the worst thing that can happen to you,” he said.
‘Uh uh,” she said.
“No?” he asked.
“It gets even worse for me,” said the bride of the land. “Were I to let sin come into the land, I would have to be banished from the land.”
“But where would you go?” he asked.
“I would have to go to the world,” she said.
“Back to the world,” he said.
“Not back to the world,” said Gravel. “But, rather, to the world.”
“Then you have not originally come from the world,” he said.
“The bride you see before you now, Flanders, God did create on the eighth day,” she told him.
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“On the eighth day of creation, my Maker made me and put me here.”
“Whoa!” said Flanders, regarding this most glorious personage.
“For that reason, Flanders, I must enjoin you to flee your temptation of unequal yoke, lock, stock, and barrel.” she said.
“I promise to do that right now and for ever,” he said.
“And even more for that reason, I must further go on and give you this injunction: ‘Flee your fetish for your leaven,’” she said to him,
“I promise to do that right now and for ever,” he said.
“Flanders, Flanders, the Bible calls the Devil, ‘the liar and the father of it,’” said the bride of the land.
“Surely I am not lying. Am I?” he asked in soul-searching.
“Not yet. But later,” she said.
“What will I say later that will be a lie?” he asked.
“It is not what you will say later that will bring lie into the land, Flanders,” she said. “Rather, it will be what you do later in the land that will make your two promises just now a lie in the land,”
“You’re saying that I will change my mind later on here,” he said.
“One thing will lead to another thing. And temptation will lead to greater temptation. And, behold, a sinner commits the land’s first sin. And for me this paradise is lost,” said Gravel.
“What is that I will do that will bring all of these bad things to pass, Gravel?” he cried out. “Would that I had never come here and enjoyed a little Heaven were I the one who sinned.”
“It will not be you who sins,” said Gravel.
“I am not the one who does that?” he asked.
“It shall be a woman who does that,” said Gravel.
“Praise God that it is not myself then who corrupts the land,” he said.
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“Woe unto you, nonetheless, Flanders Arckery Nickels,” said the counsellor.
“Do I have part of the blame, nevertheless, Gravel? Will I have disobeyed your advice in any way down the line somewhere here? Will I know the woman who brought sin to the land?” he asked.
“I say, ‘Yes,’ to all three questions, Flanders,” said Gravel.
“What a wretch I am,” he said in great remorse. “I am not fit for the land. I am not fit for God. I am not fit to live.”
“Woe unto the man who listens to the woman who comes,” warned the beautiful bride.
In encouraging himself in the Lord, Flanders said, “’Ye shall walk after the Lord your God, and fear him, and keep his commandments, and obey his voice, and ye shall serve him, and cleave unto him.’ Deuteronomy13:4.”
In warning from the Holy Spirit of God, the mentor of the land said to Flanders Nickels inexplicably, “’And he that killeth any man shall surely be put to death.’ Leviticus 24:17.”
Vexed with confusion and mystery and cryptic prophesies, Flanders said, “I want to get out of here.”
“It is not your time yet to leave,” she said. “God needs you here for now.”
“The land troubles me now all of sudden,” he said.
“This land is yet a land of rest, Flanders,” she said. “It is still an impeccable paradise. No sin has yet come here.”
“I should stay then?” he asked.
“You do not make the decision when to come here and when to leave here,” she reminded him.
“I shall stay then,” he said.
“Stay in the land and continue enjoying all of its joys of the Lord,” said the bride of the land.
He looked around here in this place truly the climax to the land, and he reveled once again at the land in its great beauty of creation. He nodded his head. He would stay and enjoy the land in its
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divine and God-wrought beauty of countryside.
“That’s better,” said Gravel in encouragement for him. Then she turned away from him and gazed upon the waterfalls. She thought much and spoke naught for a great while of subdued silence.
“Gravel, what’s happening now?” he asked.
“The land is telling me that God says that it is time for me to go,’ said the bride of the land.
“I’ll wait for you for when you come back,” said Flanders, misunderstanding.
“Flanders, I am not going to come back,” she said.
He now understood. Gravel was not going on a walk to another part of the land and be right back a little later on. Nay, Gravel was now leaving the land as its disannuled bride now never to come back here again. The time of that prophesied exile that was come upon her had now come for her. Gravel was leaving the land before its first sin was coming to pass. Things were happening now all of a sudden so quickly that Flanders fell upon doubts of God. He turned his head toward the waterfalls that were his Gravel’s home in great sober-mindedness, man and woman gazing into it.
Then the land spoke to his mind, telling him that the way out of the land for its bride was different from the way out of the land for everybody else. For any other person, when it was time for that person to leave the land and to go back to the world, that person had to go and find his spot in the creek from where he had first come into the land. He then waited for the creek in that spot to begin whirling about in a swirling. And then he had to go out into the creek and step out into that whirl of creek before the vortex ebbed and went away. By that process, God called that person to go back to the natural world from where he had come. But the land was telling Flanders now that in the case of its bride, she had to stand in the waterfalls just at the precise time that it ceased its cascade for a moment.
Gravel must be in the waterfalls, and the water must stop falling down the edge of its cliff for just a moment, and she must disappear from the land and appear into the world in that instant, and then the cascade would resume once again. And Gravel would be gone from the land. And everything in the
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land would continue on as before.
Resolute, as if facing death, the bride of the land stepped off of this front bank of the island toward the waterfalls, and she fell down feet first into the creek’s bottom. She stood there, steady and surprised, waist-deep in the creek. Her fairy princess bridal dress was all wet now with flowing waters, and it looked most ungainly now, and it was all ruined. Steadfast in the Lord, Gravel began wading upstream on her way to her departure. After a short laborious trek, she arrived at the cascade. She climbed up to its elevated ledge and waded out into the waterfalls of the creek of the land and turned around for final words to Flanders.
“Keep the faith, Flanders,” she said.
And his doubts about God faded away in his heart.
Looking for his own final words to the comely young woman, Flanders said, “You will make the world a more beautiful place, Gravel.”
“Call me ‘Lisa,’” she said.
“Lisa?” he asked.
“My official name is ‘Lisa Catera,’” said the bride.
“Lisa ‘Gravel’ Catera,” said Flanders.
“That’s the way to say it, Flanders,” she said in good cheer.
The waterfalls began to wane. Gravel looked up at the top of the cliff. It was happening now.
“It is time, Flanders,” said Lisa.
“It is come, Lisa,” he said.
Very quickly this creek began to dry up in its waterfall. Flanders Nickels said, “Farewell and fare well, fair Lisa.”
“Go now and enjoy the land, handsome Flanders,” said Lisa.
The waterfalls then ceased. Lisa suddenly was not there. The waterfalls began once more
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again. And Flanders found himself suddenly alone in the land.
Being suddenly alone in the land, he felt lonely in paradise. He felt lonesomeness despite all of these Elysian Fields about him. He prayed and asked God to help him now to ‘go now and enjoy the land,’ as Lisa had lovingly told him to. In stepping out in faith of God, Flanders went on to leave Lisa’s home here and begin to hike back down the shores of the creek in search for God’s enjoyment. He
trekked alongside the same shores of this creek through where he had first trekked in the land seemingly so long ago. This time the course was downstream. And the divine creations rife in this countryside filled his eyes and his ears quite happily once again. He took in the sights of the magnificent flora of the land. Wild weeds and wild flowers and wild grass filled all of the fields where he did walk. He saw trees and bushes alive with green. He discovered bright meadows and dark forests. He walked up hills and down hills. He crossed lakes and ponds and a river. He wondered in marvel upon the divers and sundry fauna of the land. He stopped to talk to tame mammals who could not understand him. He chased tame birds in games fun for him and for them. He reached into the waters and tried to grab tame fish, but they always eluded him. He picked up tame reptiles and petted them to their delight. He had little races set up among tame amphibians, who loved to race. And his loneliness left him in this land with so many animal friends who loved to keep him company. The Good Lord was in this land. And Flanders was enjoying the land once again. And he said, “Thank You, God.”
Then Flanders saw a familiar place. It was in the creek. He had seen it before. He was here before. Oh yes! This was his origin in the land. He studied that spot in the creek. Was it going to turn into a vortex there? He waited and wondered. He did not want to go back to the world. But maybe it was time. If he were to be sent back to the world, maybe he could search the world for so-alluring Lisa. The waters remained in their even smooth flow. No vortex was coming right now. He must perchance stay here longer. He waited for God to send him back home. But he was not ready to leave
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the land. He waited and waited. No whirling came upon this creek here. God wanted him here a little bit longer. And that was good. Though Lisa was beautiful, the land was even more beautiful than she.
He lingered a long while more. The vortex in the creek did not come to take him away. He was not to leave. He must stay. And he prayed in elation, “Thank You, Lord, that I get to stay in the land!”
Then he said, “I pray, O Jesus, that I can be here in the land for the rest of my life.”
And Christ looked down upon him from the Heaven of Heavens and did not say, “No.”
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