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The brown-eyed girl sat upon a wooden chair by the many windows of this wall of her second-story room, and she looked out upon downtown Ripon, Wisconsin, from up here.  Her home here had once been a hotel long before her time, but now it was a cheap and run down and neglected edifice that she rented for a most thrifty bargain.  Up here on this second floor were many rooms with few furniture; this second story was her living quarters.  Down below, on the first floor of this big and old building, was her workshop where she worked as a seamstress making bridesmaid dresses and maid of honor dresses and homecoming dresses and prom dresses.  This big old hotel converged at this end of the building, because the two streets of Ripon that ran along the two sides of her big home on her city block also converged, at a narrow angle.  And this end room with the many windows on this side was necessarily narrow as well and not deep.  Along her right side she had another wooden chair which she used for a table to hold her most dear cup of coffee.  This time it was instant coffee.  Next time it would be brewed coffee.  The brown-eyed woman took another sip of her instant coffee.  And she had to go to the bathroom.  And she jumped up from her chair, ran to the bathroom, did her job, and ran back.  And

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she took another drink from her coffee mug.  It was a most large coffee mug.  Her name was “Coffee.”

And Coffee was a born-again Christian of thirty years of age, saved these past twenty years. And this believer in Christ looked out of this end room of her large place and wondered as she watched all the people out there traveling and living their lives and doing their things without Christ in their lives.

And she prayed in humble thanksgiving, “Why am I the lucky one who gets to go to Heaven, O Lord?’

Those out there, the unsaved, were not going to Heaven.  There were people in cars and in trucks and in buses and in minivans and on motorcycles and on bicycles and on roller blades and on skateboards and also on foot—and they were all going to Hell.  Ninety-eight percent of the people out there were not born again believers.  These were the unlucky ones going to Hell.  “That is ninety-eight out of every one hundred, Lord,” she said,  “Forty-nine out of every fifty.”  Further, only two percent of the people out there in the world were born-again believers.  One was herself; another was her boyfriend-in-the-Lord.  “That is two out of every one hundred,” she prayed.  “One out of every fifty.”

Coffee had a favorite color, and it was brown.  Brown was the color of her eyes, and brown was the color of her hair, and brown was the color of her cheerleader uniform, and brown was the color of her coffee.  She was her boyfriend’s “brown-eyed girl.”  And her brown hair was very long and well past her shoulders and full of long, gentle curves.  And her cheerleader’s uniform, from high school days of another place, still fit her: its top was a brown and white asymmetrically patterned cheerleader vest with the chenille emblem reading, “JODI”; and its bottom was a brown knife-pleated cheerleader skirt with two white stripes running along the lower edges reaching nearly to her knees.  She did not put on her cheerleader socks and cheerleader shoes this day, because it was hot and humid today in the middle of summertime.  And of all things brown, her instant coffee to her side was the most beautiful of browns.  Coffee’s official given name, as can be deduced from the chenille emblem, was “Jodi.”

She turned back to her coffee on her chair beside her.  There was that big container of powder coffee creamer.  There was her big plastic jar of instant coffee granules.  There was her most

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voluminous ceramic mug.  And there was her special coffee spoon in the cup with the coffee—this most ceremonious spoon that was her favorite of her utensils.  She leaned her head down, lifted her full cup toward her face, and drank some more coffee.  She had to go to the bathroom again.  This was not her first cup of the day.  And she jumped up and ran to the bathroom again and came right back.  Then she wandered about this second floor and admired its many different rooms and their much wide open space with her very few possessions.  And she said her made-up and truly apropos proverb about her life as a Christian up here in this second story:  “Just give me a table where I can sit and read my Bible everyday, and just give me a bed where I can kneel beside and pray every night, and I shall be happy, O Lord.  Thank you for my most homey place of quiet time.”  After all, was it not written in Luke 12:15 in Jesus’ s own words, “…:  for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of things which he possesseth?” Her Bible-reading table was in her living room; her living room was her Bible study room.  Her prayer site was in her bedroom; her bedroom was her praying room.  She then recited a Bible verse that Pastor told her was all about her two means of worship thus in her quiet time here at home:  “’Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness:  for they shall be filled.’  Matthew 5:6.”  This was the fourth beatitude of the beatitudes that Jesus had preached to his disciples on his famous sermon on the mount.  Content once again in the Lord, Jodi skipped as a cheerleader back to her little end room where her coffee was.  And she drank more coffee.  Her boyfriend Tea was coming over for a date now very soon.  His real name was “Flanders.”  He, as one can tell, liked to drink tea.

And before she could sit down again on her wooden chair, the most faithful knocking came once again upon her front door.  It was he.  Hopping as a cheerleader, she went to her door of this upper floor, opened it, went down the long staircase to the bottom floor, and then opened her front door.

And there he was—handsome Tea, with a Bible in his hand again.  They quickly hugged long and hard.  “I have not seen you since yesterday, Coffee,” he said.

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“I’ve missed you, too, Tea,” she said.  Then they drew back apart. He put his Bible in his back pocket.

He then gave her a most prolific greeting right from the Bible, “Jodi, ‘The Lord bless thee, and keep thee:  The Lord make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:  The Lord lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.’”

And she replied back also in a Bible verse in greeting:  “Flanders, ‘Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord.’”

And the gentleman swept the lady off of her feet, and he carried her back up to her home all the way up the many stairs.

Once there, he set her feet back upon her bare wooden floor, and he asked her if she would make him a cup of coffee.  Tea drank tea except when he came here.  Here Tea drank coffee.  And cheerleader and cheerleader boyfriend walked hand-in-hand to her kitchen.  And she again got to show him her beloved coffee pantry in the corner of this kitchen.  It was a little closet of four shelves, whose door reached from near the floor to five feet above the floor.  On the top shelf were plastic jars of all manner of brands of powder coffee creamer and a Styrofoam cooler of liquid coffee creamers kept cold with those little blue ice packs and coffee filters.  This top shelf was at the level of Jodi’s eyes.  On the second shelf of this pantry were her many ceramic coffee mugs.  For herself she had up here seven different-colored, otherwise identical, vessels with which to drink her coffee.  The black one was for Mondays; the blue one was for Tuesdays; the gray one was for Wednesdays; the green one was for Thursdays; the purple one was for Fridays; the red one was for Saturdays; and the missing one here,

which she had now on her chair in the end room, was the brown one, which was for Sundays.  Today was Sunday afternoon.  And the brown one had been refilled much already this day.  Also in the second shelf of this pantry was her special coffee mug just for Flanders for when he would come everyday.

His coffee mug was just like her seven coffee mugs, but his was white.  This second shelf of this pantry

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was at the level of her midriff.  On her third shelf were all of her bottles—plastic and glass—of all the instant coffees that she could buy from all the grocery stores in town.  Also in this third shelf did she store her glass perk coffeemaker and her automatic drip coffeemaker—both for her brewed coffee—and also her special water pan for the stove, for her instant coffee—taking them out for when she was using them.  Right now her water pan was still hot on her stove.  This third shelf was at the level of her upper leg.  And on her pantry’s fourth shelf, her bottom shelf, were all of her brewed and bulk coffees.

There were big metal cans and little plastic containers and little bags and single-serve pouches.  There was not enough room here in the pantry shelf to accommodate the great selection that grocery stores had on their shelves.  That was why this fourth shelf’s inventory was always changing through the weeks for this coffee drinker.  This fourth shelf was at the level of her lower leg.

“What will it be, Flanders?” she asked.

“I’ll have what you’re having,” he said.

“Ah, Folgers’s instant,” she said.  “The best of the instant coffees.”

And she boiled more water, and they sat down together in her nice sunny end room to drink coffee together and to fellowship in the Lord.  Both chairs were toward the window for girlfriend and boyfriend, and the chair for a table rested between them, their two cups of coffee at their sides.

Daughter of God and son of God fell upon an insightful and spiritual reflection in the Lord as they drank coffee together.  Jodi began, saying, “Things will be different after the rapture, Tea.”

“Yeah, Coffee,” he said.  “When that happens—the rapture, that is—we finally get to go to Heaven and be with Jesus.”  Then he said, “And we won’t even have to die first to get There.”

“After we get raptured, Flanders—‘we’ being all the Christians everywhere—then the rest of the people will be left behind to face Earth’s darkest hour,” said Coffee.

“The lost will have to go through the tribulation, and the tribulation will be the only worldwide catastrophe ever that is worse than the great flood,” said Tea.

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“Seven years of Hell on Earth,” said Jodi.  “And then it gets worse for these unsaved.”

“It is no small thing to reject Christ,” said Flanders.

Coffee took another drink of coffee.  And she began to wonder about things.  And she asked, “I wonder if there is coffee in Heaven.  Flanders, do you think that there is coffee in Heaven?”

“I don’ t know,” he said.  “The Bible does not say anything about that.”

“If there is no coffee Up There, I’m not ready to go There,” she said in confession.

“That will take away your crown, Coffee, for saying that,” said Flanders.

“I never had that crown yet, Tea,” said Coffee.

“The crown of righteousness,” said Flanders.

“II Timothy 4:8:  ‘Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day:  and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.’” recited Jodi the verse and its reference.

“The born-again believers who desire the rapture get this crown,” he told her what she already knew.  “And the born-again believers who do not desire the rapture do not get this crown.”

“I know.  I know,” said Jodi.  “It seems that I want my coffee more than I want the crown of righteousness.”

“But if there is coffee Up There, Coffee…,” surmised Tea.

“Then I would desire the Lord’s appearing only for the coffee,” said Jodi.  “And a girl cannot get a crown for loving ‘coffee’s appearing.’”

“That’s a good way of saying it,” said Flanders.

“Whether there is or there is not coffee Up There for this lady to drink, this lady is not ready for the rapture of the saints,” confessed Coffee.  “And that bothers me, Flanders.”

“Either way, Coffee, ready or not, you are still going when the Lord comes to take us Up with Him,” said Flanders.

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“No cup of coffee will keep me out of Heaven,” said Jodi.  “That much is true.  I’m glad for that.”

“I love tea, but I love the Lord’s appearing all the more,” said Flanders.

Jodi took another drink of coffee, and she said, “I think that I have to go to the bathroom.”

And she left, did her business, and came back.  She thought for a while in this interim as she sat with her boyfriend-in-Christ here in this end room.  And she said, “I sin in my love for coffee.”

“It sounds like a problem of the heart, Coffee,” said Tea.

“Maybe God does not have all of my heart yet,” she said.  “If He did, I would want Him to come like He will.”

“’Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.’  Matthew 22:37-38,” said Tea.  “Also,  ‘And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.’  Deuteronomy 6:5.”  And then he said, “And finally, ‘And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength:  this is the first commandment.’  Mark 12:30.”

“Those are powerful Scripture verses,” said Coffee.  “I seem to love coffee with all of my heart, but I do not love my own Saviour with all of my heart.”

“God can help,” said Tea in good cheer.

“I’m bad,” said Jodi.  Yet she took another drink of coffee, and she sighed in coffee’s savor to her tongue.

“Jodi, maybe you should stop drinking coffee for a little while,” said Flanders.

“Really?” she asked.

“You’re addicted to it,” he said.

“Really?” she asked.

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“It is keeping you from growing in the Lord,” he said.

“Really?” she asked.  This third “Really?” had a tone of sarcasm to it, and Tea relented.

Then Tea took a sip of his coffee.  Jodi did the same with her coffee.

Then she told all about her discovery of coffee as her new favorite drink way back in her young childhood:  “My first cup of coffee, Flanders, was black.  I was only five years old.  I was sneaky and daring and Mom and Dad did not see me make it.  And when I drank it, I thought to myself, ‘This is pretty good.’  Then I forgot about it for a year.  Then I had my second cup of coffee.  I was six years old then.  And I had evaporated milk in it.  Big Sister was there with me, telling me, ‘Go for it, Little Sis!’’

And when I drank it, I thought to myself, ‘This is great!’  Then I forgot about it for another year.  Then I had my third cup of coffee.  I was seven years old then.  And Mom and Dad watched me as I drank it, and they were not quite sure what to do about this strange thing they saw their daughter doing at so young an age.  This time I put in powder coffee creamer.  And when I drank it, I thought to myself, ‘This is my new favorite drink.’  And I have been in love with coffee ever since.  That is my story of how I first discovered this.”  And she raised her mug of coffee in indication, and she drank from it.

Then she rushed back to the bathroom and rushed back to this end room.

“You’ve been drinking coffee for twenty-three years, Jodi, and you are only thirty years old,” said Flanders.

“You’re thirty years old, too, Flanders, and you drink too much tea,” charged Coffee in indignation.  Then she finished her mug and went and made more coffee.  Flanders’s coffee mug was yet still nearly full.  His love for tea was not an addiction.  But he did not say anything back at her about that.  Maybe he had to leave her in God’s hands. He prayed a silent prayer for God to take away her addiction that hindered her walk with Jesus.

Then he said, “Let’s talk about happy things, Jodi.”

“Like the day I got saved,” she said.  “Would it bore you, Tea, to hear me tell you all about that

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day yet once again?”

“I never tire of hearing the testimony of your salvation, O Jodi,” he said.  “Do tell me all again!”

And Coffee told Tea how she had become born again long ago:  “I was a little girl of ten years of age, and I was an All-Star Wrestling fan.  Being in fourth grade at the time, I believed in professional wrestling; I thought that it was all real.”  She laughed now, twenty years later.” And she continued:

“I was down the basement sitting in my big washing machine box in front of the Curtis Mathes TV, and it was a late Saturday night, and I had all the lights turned off.  All-Star Wrestling was my Saturday night ritual.  And on that night’s telecast I saw a new twist that even professional wrestling had never thought of before until then.  What this new thing was was a wrestling match between two bad guys.

That’s right, Flanders. They had one bad guy take on another bad guy.  This was the first time that a wrestling match did not pit the good guy against the bad guy.  Two bad guys went at it against each other in the ring.  The one bad guy was ‘Jake “the Snake” Roberts.’  He was a tall wrestler who always brought his boa constrictor to the ring with him.  And every time he would win a match, he would open up his canvas bag and let out his boa constrictor upon his fallen foe.  And this great big snake would slither over to the fallen man and crawl all over him where he lay.  This was Jake ‘the Snake’ Roberts.

And the other bad guy was ‘Randy “Macho Man” Savage.’  He was a fiery and fierce wrestler who was appropriately called ‘Savage.’  (One time he appeared as a surprise guest on a late night TV talk show, when Dennis Rodman was being interviewed by the host.  Rodman was trash-talking Randy ‘Macho Man’ Savage from his comfortable chair, and suddenly there came Macho Man, having heard all of this big talk.  And Macho Man charged right into Rodman where he was sitting and knocked him and his big chair backwards to the floor in an attack on TV).  This was Randy ‘Macho Man’ Savage.  And in the All-Star Wrestling match that I was watching in my big box, the two bad guys started taking turns throwing the referee right out of the ring until they were both disqualified.  And out of this match,

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Macho Man emerged now as a good guy wrestler.  (Jake Roberts stayed as a bad guy wrestler.)” Jodi

continued:  “Then the next match was about to begin.  This was the main event of the night.  In fact it was the match I had been waiting to see for over a month.  Everybody at school was talking about it.

My hero, Hulk Hogan, was taking on Andre the Giant.  The Hulkster was the champion; and Andre was the number one contender.  I was a ten-year-old ‘Hulkamaniac,’ but I kind of wanted Andre to win.

But, at eleven o’clock at night, my little Utopia down here was interrupted by a knocking on the door up there.  I would not leave All-Star Wrestling.  Everybody was in bed but myself.  I listened, fearful of being taken from my much anticipated match, and the knocking stopped.  And I was again safe in my big cardboard box.

Then I heard the door up there open and a familiar voice call out to me, ‘Jodi, are you home?  It’s I, Gretchen.’  Oh, good, my best friend.  She would come and watch this match of the year with me.  And I yelled back up, ‘I’m down here, Gretch,’ Come on in!’

And she came down, I thought, to watch this great match that was about to start.  She came down all right, but she had other plans with me and my time.  And she interrupted the bout of the decade for me with a little booklet that someone had given her on a walk to school one day recently.

The more I tried to watch wrestling the rest of that hour, the more she poked this booklet in my face.

She kept saying, “Read this, Jodi.’

And I kept saying, ‘Later, Gretchen.’  And I had to turn off the TV and give up on All-Star Wrestling for my first time of a Saturday night.  And then I read her little booklet.  It was a salvation tract.  And it changed my life.  It got me born again.  And also Gretchen, too.  This is what it said, Tea:

On the cover were two words in big black letters on a white background that read, ‘Jesus saves.’  Underneath those two words, was the sentence reading, ‘Heaven or Hell? The choice is yours to make in this life.’  And under that were two eternal questions:  One asking, ‘What will you do about Christ?’; and the other asking, ‘What will you do with Christ?’  And then I went and opened up this salvation

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tract to see what it had to say about this Christ Whom I had heard of.  On the left leaf, it read, ‘I decide to do nothing about Christ on this side of eternity.’  And underneath that it read, ‘Dear lost soul, it is written, “Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels.”  Matthew 25:41.’  And underneath that was a drawing of a lake of fire.  And on the right leaf, it read, “I decide to ask Christ to forgive me and become my Saviour on this side of eternity.’  And underneath that it read, ‘Dear searching soul, it is written, “Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:”  Matthew 25:34.’  And below that was a drawing of Christ on His throne.  And on the back page of this little salvation tract on top were the following words, ‘Dear reader, it is written, “And it shall come to pass, what whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall

be saved.”  Acts 2:21.’  And below that was a very special prayer that would save a person’s soul if he went ahead and prayed it and meant it.  And right away Gretchen and I prayed it out loud to God, both of us meaning every last word.  You and I, Tea, know all about such a prayer.  Pastor told us that it is called ‘the sinners’ prayer.’  You and I both prayed this prayer for salvation long ago.  And this was the words to my prayer for salvation as I read it to God on the back of that tract—both Gretchen and myself:  ‘Dear God:  I am a sinner.  Please forgive me.  I confess that Your Son—Who is called “Christ”–died on the cross for my sins and did rise again back to life on the third day after.  Please come into my heart, cleanse me from my sins, and save me from Hell.  And please become my personal Saviour unto eternal life.  In Jesus’s name I pray.  Amen.’  Behold, suddenly and freely we both were now born again Christians.  And we two young girls hugged each other and rejoiced in our conversion to Christianity and praised our new Saviour Jesus Christ.

Then Gretchen asked, ‘You’re not mad at me for ruining your all-star wrestling you were so excited about, Jodi?’

And I said, ‘No.  I am so glad now that you came when you did, Gretchen.’

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‘Then I am, too,’ she said.

‘Thanks for being my best friend,’ I said to her.

And she said, ‘Now we both have Christ as our best best Friend,’

And I said the title of this tract, ‘Jesus saves.’

And she said, ‘Jesus saves.’

That is how I became a Christian, Tea.”

Reminiscing with Coffee here in this end room, Tea said, “Praise God for Gretchen that night.”

“Twenty years ago for me that happened, Flanders,” said Coffee.

“My first day of salvation also happened twenty years ago for me when I, also, was ten years old,” said Flanders.

“I so know,” said Jodi.  “Praise God for that bold witness warrior of a waitress that evening in your life, Flanders.”  As Coffee had told Tea all about her first day of salvation lots, so, too, had Tea told Coffee all about his first day of salvation lots as well.  And Coffee said, “Tell it to me again, boyfriend!”

And Flanders told it to her again:  “As you know, my Mom is half Danish.  That makes me one-quarter Danish.  And in my growing up years at home, Mom often served sardines and anchovies for our family dinners.  I always enjoyed sardines and anchovies right from the start.  I made sandwiches of them with bread and butter.  I ate sardine sandwiches and anchovy sandwiches quite regularly, and I still have them today on my life on my own here years later.  I found out that the small sardines taste better than the large sardines.  And I know, as few others know, that anchovies are sold either flat or rolled around a little caper.  I ate these two kinds of sandwiches more than most kids ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.”

He continued, “But then one day I discovered an even better sandwich.  I first saw them when Mom told me that I could pick out one thing just for myself on her grocery shopping on the day that

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I turned ten years old.  It was a most novel tin of smoked baby clams right where the tins of sardines and the tins of anchovies were high up on the grocery store shelf.  I picked this for my birthday dinner not knowing if I liked it or not.  Well, I opened it with one of those little keys, and I saw a whole compact bunch of little morsels all squeezed in full in this tin.  I quickly buttered two pieces of bread, and then with the butter knife I went about to put these smoked baby clams on my bread one-by-one.  It took a while.  And then I took my first bite of my first smoked baby clam sandwich.  Was it ever good!

It was great!  And it all at once became my favorite sandwich, Jodi.  One has to be careful with a baby clam sandwich not to let one of them fall out of the bread as he eats it.  Even a Whopper or a Big Mac is not as good as a smoked baby clam sandwich on bread and butter.  My first favorite sandwich had come into my life the day I turned ten, Jodi.”

“Until you discovered the Italian Hoagie at Roadhouse Pizza here in town later on in your age of ten, Flanders,” said Coffee.

“The day I had first discovered Roadhouse Pizza’s Italian Hoagie was also the day I got saved, as you know all about me, Coffee,” said Tea.  He continued, “I was with Proffery, my best friend in fourth grade.  We decided to go out for pizza at Roadhouse Pizza downtown.  We were both young children yet, and we did not have lots of money, and we did not know how much money that pizza would cost the two of us.  To make a long story short, we thought to order the biggest pizza with only coins in our pocket.  The waitress who took our order saw us boys taking handfuls of coins out of our pockets and putting them all scattered across our table.  She knew what we did not know—that we could not buy their most expensive pizza with the little money that we had.  And she recommended us to try, maybe, something cheaper with our little money.  She said that we could afford a sandwich but not the pizza.  And she told us the truth.  And we asked her what she thought we boys might like instead of pizza.

And she said, ‘I recommend our Italian Hoagies.  The meat is irresistibly good.  I think that you

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young men might like it.’  So that was what Proffery and I ordered—we each decided to try the Italian Hoagie for dinner.”  He paused his reminiscing out loud.  Then he said, “Then I took my first bite of Roadhouse’s Italian Hoagie.”

“And it was even better than your clam sandwich,” said Jodi.

“It became my new first-in-command of sandwiches,” said Flanders.  “And it had never been dethroned from its first-in-command rank.”

“You and I go out there for Italian Hoagies every night after church on Wednesday nights,” she said. “I fell in love with it, too.”

“As you know, that night with Proffery and that kind waitress was soon going to get even better for me and him,” said Tea.

“Ooo, now comes the real good part,” said Coffee.

“The part where I get saved from my sins,” said Tea.

“God works in mysterious ways,” said Coffee.

“The waitress began to preach very fascinating things from the Bible to us both,” said Flanders.

She said, ‘Young men, have you heard of Jesus?’  We both shook our heads.  And she went on to say, ‘Two thousand years ago, Jesus did miracles.’

I asked her, ‘What kinds of miracles, Ma’am?’

And she said, ‘One time Jesus fed five thousand men, besides women and children, with five little loaves of bread and two fish.’

‘How did He do that?’ I asked.

And she said, ‘And not only that, but after they all ate, there were twelve baskets of leftovers that they gathered up.’

Proffery asked, ‘What other miracles did He do, Ma’am?’

And our waitress said, ‘Another time Jesus fed four thousand men, besides women and children,

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with only seven little loaves of bread and a few fish.’

‘He did that, too?’ asked Proffery.

‘Yeah.  He did.  And after everybody ate, there were seven baskets of leftovers that were gathered up,’ preached this good waitress.

‘I believe that,’ I said.

‘And I do, too,’ said Proffery.

Yet I asked again, ‘But how could Jesus do that, Ma’am?’

And the waitress said, ‘Because Jesus is God.’

‘I do not know Jesus,” I said.

‘Nor do I,’ said Proffery.

‘Young men, a person has to know the Lord Jesus personally in order to get to go to Heaven someday.’ said this wise waitress.

‘I believe that,’ I said.

‘And I believe that, too,’ said Proffery.

And right there at our table, our Italian Hoagies all eaten up, the bold and godly waitress led us both to salvation, having us repeat after her the sinners’ prayer line-by-line.  That is how I became a born-again believer, O Coffee.  And that is how Proffery also got saved.”

“Amen to God’s free gift of eternal life!” praised Jodi with him here in this little end room.  “There is no present so great as so great salvation!”

“It is greater to you than coffee is.  Isn’t it, Jodi?” asked Flanders, rejoicing in their Saviour.

“I’m not a backslidden believer because I love coffee.  Am I, Tea?” she asked.

“It is greater to you than coffee,” he said.  “Isn’t it, Jodi?”

“Well, yeah,” she said.  “My salvation does mean more to me than does my coffee,” she did say.

“Anything else…maybe not.”

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“Would you give up your salvation for coffee?” asked Flanders, making sure of her words.

“No!  Not I!  Never!” she exclaimed.  So wonderful salvation could not be traded once one got saved.

“Would you give up coffee for your salvation, Jodi?” asked Flanders, making double sure.

“Yes.  That I would do.  I love my salvation first of all,” said Coffee.  So free salvation could not be bought with a sacrifice of works.  So far things sounded good to the Christian man about his Christian woman.  Then she gulped down more coffee and ran once again to her bathroom and came back.

Flanders then asked Jodi, “Is your coffee more important to you than your dressmaking you do for a living down there?”

She paused and said, “Yes.”

“Would you give up your coffee for your job?” he asked.

“No.  I would not do that,” she said.  “If I had to starve in order to drink coffee I would do that, I would not give up my coffee just to have a steady paycheck.”

“Is your coffee more important to you than your favorite outfit?” he asked.

“This cheerleader uniform?” she asked.  He nodded his head.  “Well, yes.”

“Would you give up coffee for your cheerleader’s uniform, Jodi?” he asked.

“A girl like me is liable to give up all of her clothes just to keep drinking her coffee, boyfriend,” said Jodi.  “To answer your question, ‘No.’”

“Is your coffee more important to you than your Bible?” asked Tea.

“You mean my King James Bible?” she asked.  He nodded.  “I don’t know,” she said.  “Where would I be without the Word of God?”

“Would you give up your coffee for your Holy Bible?” asked Flanders.

“I’m bad,” was the first thing she said in answer to this question.

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“What do you mean by that, Coffee?” asked Tea.

“The answer to your first question is, ‘No.’  And the answer to your second question is, ‘I would not quit my coffee even if it meant my Bible being taken away from me,’” confessed Jodi.

“Yikes!” said Flanders.  Then he asked, “Is coffee more important to you than prayer?”

“Yikes,” she said, at a loss for words in conviction of her sin.

“It is.  Isn’t it?” he asked.  She nodded in shame.  And he said, “Would you give up coffee so you could keep praying in your life if God gave you an ultimatum?”

And she answered, “I need my prayers, Tea.  But I’ve just got to have another cup of coffee.”

And she ran to the kitchen and made another cup of coffee for herself.  And she came back, her mug I her face, all the way back to this end room. She thus answered his question.

Then Tea asked, “Jodi, is coffee more important to you than coming to church?”

“That, too,” she answered.  “I love fellowship and the sermons and all the times I go with you to our little Baptist church, Flanders.  But now we’re talking about coffee.  And I have to say in today’s vernacular, ‘Coffee rules.’”

“Would you give up coffee for church?” he asked.  He shook his head, knowing what she was going to say.

“No, Tea.  And I am sorry for that.  And this comes from a girl with perfect attendance at church,” said Jodi.  She said again, “I’m bad.  Aren’t I, Flanders?”  He said nothing.

Then he asked, “Is coffee more important to you than soul-winning, Coffee?”

“Ah, Flanders, the miracle of seeing a lost person come to Christ before my very eyes when we women go out knocking on doors on Thursday Evening Visitation,” said Jodi.

“It is most good.  Isn’t it, Jodi?” he asked, himself also knowing all about leading people to salvation with the men in Thursday Evening Visitation.

“There is nothing like it,” said Coffee.

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“Well, how about it, Coffee?” he asked.

“Well, leading a lady through the prayer to get saved is not as much a part of my life as my coffee is.  You know what I’m saying, Flanders,” she said.

“I do, Coffee,” he said.  “Your coffee means more to you than your witness life knocking on doors.”

“Well.  Yeah,” she said, growing weary of these hard questions he was making her answer for him.  “Nor would I give up my coffee for my soul-winning.”

Himself frustrated with this question-and-answer session that suddenly came up between the two, Tea asked, “And where do I stand in your life, Coffee?”

“Oh, please don’t go and ask such a question, Tea,” said Coffee.

“I need to know, Coffee,” he demanded.  “Where do I stand in your life?”

In submission, Coffee said, “I think you know now, Flanders.”

He said, “Coffee is more important to you than I am.”  She nodded in silence.  And he said, “You would not give up coffee to keep seeing me.”  And she nodded again in silence.  “There.  It has been said.” declared Flanders.

In the troubles of the moment, Jodi said, “Could you forgive your wayward girlfriend-in-the-Lord, O Flanders?”

He said, “I forgive you in the Lord.”

And she said, “I’m really really sorry.”

“Would you let me still be your boyfriend-in-the-Lord, with or without your coffee idol?” he asked her.

“Yes!  Yes!” she said.  “And I forgive you, Tea.”

“Thank you for your forgiveness, Jodi,” he said.  “Coffee never came between the two of us on

any of our dates before.  I was wrong.”

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“And I was wrong, too, Tea,” she said.

“I promise never to confront you about coffee with any interrogation like this again, Jodi,” he vowed to his girl.

Yet, from out of the blue, Jodi said for her first time, “I wish that I could quit.”

“What’s that, Coffee?” asked Tea.

“I said that I wish that I could quit drinking all of this coffee,” she said again.

“I thought that that was what you said,” he exclaimed.

“It’s not good for a woman to drink so much coffee—whether she is a Christian or not,” said Coffee.  “I make a god out of all my coffee I drink.”

“Coffee does looks to me to be an idol in your life, Jodi,” said Tea.

“A false idol.  A false god,” said Jodi.

“God is a jealous god,” said Tea.

“God’s name is ‘Jealous,’” confessed Coffee.  “He is jealous over me for my coffee that I drink all of the time.”

“Do you really mean that, Coffee?” asked Flanders.

“I really think that I do, Tea,” replied Coffee.  “But I do not have it in myself to go and quit my addiction just like that lock, stock, and barrel, Flanders,”

“We can pray and ask God to give you the strength to quit,” said Tea.

“God can help!” said Jodi.  “Yes!  Let’s pray for that, Tea.”

They then had a short prayer meeting together that God take away her god of coffee out of her life.  Then they raised their heads again after this prayer meeting was over.  “How do you feel now about coffee, Coffee?” asked Flanders, confident.

“I’m not sure,” she said with a sigh.  “I think that I feel good right now.”

“It’s all over now.  Isn’t it, Jodi?” he asked, sure.  “You no longer crave any coffee at all

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anymore.”

“I do believe that you are right on there, Tea.” she said.  “Good-bye, O cup of coffee,” she said.

She picked up her coffee mug that she had been drinking from. It was now half full.  “Good-bye, O cup of coffee,” she said again.  And having said her farewells, she went ahead to drink it all down as a ceremony of conversion.

“Coffee.  You shouldn’t have done that,” said her boyfriend.

“Don’t worry, Flanders.  I’m all right.  I was just saying, ‘Good-bye’ forever to my old life of coffee,” explained Jodi.

“Oh.  Okay,” he said.  A moment passed.  And he said, “What are you going to do now without your coffee to drink?  Maybe your tea boyfriend can make a tea girl out of you.  Maybe I could help you empty out your pantry and get rid of all that with you.”

That last drink of coffee tasted so good.  It need not be her last drink of coffee. There must always be for her her next cup of coffee.  And without another word, Coffee went ahead and made herself yet another cup of coffee.  Flanders was aghast, but found no words to say in this trying time.

And they sat back down together in her end room.  And she said, “Look at those people out there going to and fro, Flanders.  They do not fear Almighty God.  They do not love Jesus as personal Saviour.  They have not a Holy Spirit telling them right from wrong.”  And Coffee again brought her coffee mug to her face.  Yet she did not drink.  Instead she put the mug back down upon her chair next to her.  She put her right hand to the handle, held it there, then took it away.  She then put her left hand to the handle and held it there and took it away.  She then put both hands to the sides of the cup, felt the great heat of the coffee, and took away both hands.  For the first time in her life, Coffee found hesitation in drinking coffee.  “What’s the matter with me, Flanders?” she cried out.

“I think that God is speaking to you now that we prayed for you to quit coffee.” said Tea.

“I did not hear Any One speaking,” she said about God in a foolish rebuttal.

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“The Holy Spirit was convicting you of your sin,” said Tea.

“He was talking to me in thoughts,” said Coffee more sensibly.

“What did God say to you?” asked Flanders.

“He told me to not pick up the cup quite yet,” she said.

“Quite yet?” asked Tea, skeptical of those two words in her confession.

“And He also told me to go and empty out my coffee pantry and dump it into the garbage dumpster right now,” she said.

“Right now!” repeated Tea those last two words of confession.

“Right now,” said Jodi.  “Could you help me go and do that right now, Flanders?”

“Whatever the Holy Spirit says to do we shall do, Coffee,” said Flanders.

“Oh, Tea.  The crazy thing that I am doing right now!” she said.

“It looks like God is now getting all of your heart, woman,” said Flanders.

“Oh, look at me, Flanders—how brave I am,” she said.  And she began to empty her pantry of idolatry into cardboard boxes to take outside for garbage day tomorrow.  He most agreeably helped her in this venture.

And in five minutes, her coffee pantry was sacrificed to four garbage boxes.

“Flanders, behold my empty pantry for the first time in my life!” she exclaimed.

In amazement he said, “Jodi, why there’s nothing in there now!”

In the words of the Magnificat Coffee prayed, “My soul doth magnify the Lord, And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.”

“Maybe we better get these boxes out of the house in case you change your mind,” said Flanders.

“I’m not going to change my mind, Tea,” she said.  “Quick help me take these boxes out of the house.”

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They quickly took these boxes out to the dumpster.  And in five minutes all the boxes were made ready for garbage pickup.

And the two Christians came back up to her place.  And she saw that cup of coffee that God had

not yet told her to relinquish.  It was still there on the chair.  And it was still piping hot.  And it was not yet dumped out.  Flanders saw it then right after she did.  He and she remembered now that she had left it there to give up the pantry first.

Both thinking the same thing, Coffee said, “That could be my very last cup of coffee that I will ever have.”

“Don’t drink it,” said Flanders.

“I won’t drink it,” said Jodi mighty in the strength of God.

Then the Holy Spirit spoke to her, saying, “Drink it now, My daughter.”

Reading her expression, Flanders understood that God had said something to her.  “What did He say, Jodi?” Tea asked her.

“I think that he said to me, ‘Drink it now,’” said Jodi in doubts of the Word of God.

“Sounds crazy for God to say that.  But you better go and do what he said,” said Tea.

“I think that the Devil said that to tempt me, Flanders,” she said.

“Remember how God said to you to not drink from that cup ‘quite yet.’ just a little while ago,” said Flanders.

“I believe those words of God,” said Coffee.

“Well now ‘quite yet’ has come now, it seems,” said Tea.  “He said, ‘Drink it now.’”

“He said, ‘Drink it now, My daughter,’” said Jodi.

“Do you now believe?” asked Flanders.

“I believe the word of God,” said Coffee.  “God must have a reason for me to go and do this after finally repenting of this after all these years, Flanders.”

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“Faith is believing what God says and acting on it,” said Flanders.

“And love for God means keeping His commandments,” said Jodi.

And Jodi went ahead and began to drink down the rest of her last cup of coffee in her life on Earth.  Behold, sour bitter bile!  The coffee was as bitter as wormwood itself!  And suddenly Coffee hated coffee!  She at once spat out the coffee that had not gone down her throat back into the cup.

And she began to cough.  And she choked some.  And she threw up into the cup.

“Jodi, did God do something to your coffee?” asked Flanders.

All right now, Jodi looked up and said, “No, Flanders.  God did something to my body.”

“Like what, Coffee?” he asked.

“He made me hate the taste of coffee,” she said.

“My Coffee hates coffee,” said Flanders in awe of the all-wise God.  Understanding, Flanders asked her, “Are you saying that God changed not the taste of this cup of coffee, but instead changed your mind about this cup of coffee. O Jodi?”

“Yes.  I think that that was what He did for me,” said Jodi.

“Now we know why God had you wait to drink this last coffee till later, and then after you repented, then he had you drink this last coffee,” said Tea.

“I’m so glad that I had that last taste.  It was so bad that I never want to taste it ever again,” said Jodi.

“Whoa!  I hope that God does not do that to my tea,” said Tea.

“Just don’t drink tea as I had coffee,” said Jodi.

“I have my one cup of tea a day on weeknights and my two cups of tea a day on weekends,” he said.

“God won’t get you for that, Tea,” Jodi assured him.

“God is good,” he said.

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It was the next day, and Flanders and Jodi were on another rendezvous at her place in that bright sunny end room of the old rundown hotel.  Jodi said, “Now that I no longer want coffee, I now want the Lord to come.”

“That’s a healthy attitude for a born-again believer, Jodi,” said Flanders.

“I like it better down here now with Christ than I did before,” said Jodi.  “And I love the Lord’s imminent appearing now when I did not before.”

“Girlfriend, you have just confessed the crown of righteousness.” said Tea.

“I have.  Haven’t I?” she said, beaming in gladness.

“Jesus now has all of your heart, woman!  Praise the Lord!” said Flanders.

“I am finally ready for the rapture,” confessed Jodi.

“The translation of the saints,” said Flanders.  Then he said, “That’s a technical word for ‘the rapture.’”

“I hope it happens today,” said Jodi.

“’Sooner than I think, but not so soon as I would like,’” he said.

“That’s your own proverb you made up about the rapture,” said Jodi.

“And also, ‘Better today than tomorrow; and better tomorrow, then the next day.’” he added.

“That’s your other made up proverb about the rapture,” she said.

“And you know my favorite two Bible verses about the rapture and what comes after for us Christians,” said Flanders.

“Isaiah 64:4 and I Corinthians 2:9,” said Jodi.  “The second one a New Testament verse referring to the first one an Old Testament verse.”

“Isaiah 64:4,” he said, and he recited by memory this verse, “For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him.”  Then he said, “I Corinthians 2:9:  ‘But as it is

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written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.’”

“Things that wait for you and me when we get to Heaven, Flanders,” said Jodi.  “A crown of righteousness to put on and wear.  Then we take off our crown and set it before Jesus’s feet at His throne.  And He gets back this crown which He had given us.  It belongs to Him.  To God be the glory.”

“What better way to say, ‘My Jesus, I love Thee,’ than to have earned such a crown, O girlfriend?” asked Flanders.

“What better place to sing the hymn ‘My Jesus, I Love Thee,’ than kneeling before Him on His throne?” asked Jodi.

“I cannot wait to hear those three words that announce the rapture of the church, Jodi,” said

Flanders.

“Come up hither,” Jodi recited those three words.

“I call those three words ‘My Marvelous Words of Life,’ said Flanders.

“It is the end of our Christian life down here and the beginning of our Christian life Up There,” said Jodi.

“And I dream in the day about the seven words I hope that Jesus will say to me at the Bema seat,” said Flanders.

Jodi said those seven words for him to hear and daydream further upon, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”

“’My Wonderful Words of Life,’ I do call those,” he said.

“I now have a dream about Heaven, too,” said Jodi.

“I bet that the crown of righteousness has something to do with it,” said Flanders.

“Yes, Flanders.  It is about a Good Lord and a crown and a song,” said Jodi.

“Is there a phrase involved that stole your heart today?” he asked.

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“Most surely, Flanders,” she said.

Knowing his girlfriend-in-Christ and remembering what they were talking about today, he could tell that she wanted to kneel before the Good Lord and set her new crown before Him where He sat and sing a love hymn to Jesus, the hymn that they had just discussed.  And he said, “I bet that phrase that stole your heart for Heaven is a phrase that you say to Jesus and not a phrase that Jesus will say to you.”

Before he could say it, she told him, “My Jesus, I love Thee!”

“Five words of song,” he said in great approval.

“I think that I will call those five words, ‘My Sung Words of Life.’” declared Jodi.

“You have a beautiful voice like no other girl I know, Jodi,” he said.  “When you speak it sounds like a song.  When you sing it sounds like Heaven’s choir.  But when you will sing to God that hymn in Heaven, all the saints and all the angels in Heaven will stop to listen.”

And to please her boyfriend-in-the-Lord and to have God Above stop and listen and to thank the Lord for what He did for her yesterday, Jodi sang in full the great hymn, “My Jesus, I Love Thee.”

And her voice lifted up to Heaven and reached the throne of God Above.

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