The woman wrestler, Jennifer Shires, longs to become a professional wrestler who wins. Her boyfriend Flanders Nickels longs to have the good old Christian hymns come back into his heart. Both are born again believers. They pray about it; God answers their prayers; and they come upon a love for the coming rapture of the church so that they might see Jesus in Heaven.
Bonnie Lass and Flanders Nickels are Christian boyfriend-and-girlfriend. They are riding their horses—Apple Slices and Sugar Cubes—to a place that Flanders knows about and to where he wants to bring her. Bonnie, the real knockout, wonders what it might be and is in anticipation to find out what it is. In this story, on their horseback ride there, Flanders teaches Bonnie all about the Baptist church and its seven fundamental Baptist Distinctives.
Flanders and Venus, two unsaved people, are boyfriend-and-girlfriend on a date at the park. They are horsey-back riding in the grass, he in his cutoffs and she in her magenta one-piece swimsuit. She rides his back for a way. Then he rides her back for a way. Seagulls go by, quoting Bible verses. Pelicans go by, denying those Bible verses. What will this couple do about Jesus? What will this couple do with Christ?
Flanders Nickels and his girlfriend Cynthia Marguerite Burgher are going piggyback-riding together down the Fox River Trail. She is a woman in a magenta one-piece swimsuit. Both are Christians. They are expecting an answer from God for their prayers for a new happy job to go to, one that will replace the drudge of a job they have now. God will answer their prayer when they come to the end of the Fox River Trail. Along the way they have to contend against fairies and elves and dwarfs sent by the Devil.
Flanders Nickels, not born again, falls for a picture of a one-piece swimsuit woman in a store ad in the newspaper. He affectionately calls her ‘Venus.’ This same maillot model, herself born again, discovers this man in a college yearbook. Her name is ‘Cynthia Marilyn Berger.’ Neither knows that the other has a crush on him or her. God brings them together so that she can tell him about Jesus the Saviour. Lo, a terrible little urchin named ‘Sylvia.’ a persecutor of Christians, comes and seeks to keep this Flanders from turning to Christ.
Miss Annette Worst, a keeper of three tame coral snake pets, falls upon a crush for Flanders Nickels, the boy at school who will have no girl as girlfriend. Lo, Flanders falls for a crush for her, and, because of that, he now sees himself as a sinner. What if the pretty girl found out? Both are Christians. Can his love for animals bring them together if she shows him her coral snakes?
Flanders the Righteous, known as the Prophet of De Pere, is challenged by Kyrie the Black, known as the Witch of De Pere. She seeks to tempt him to fall into sin and to deny Christ. She makes him go through four tests, all having something to do with ‘traditional prom gowns of the good old days,’ which is his weakness. He calls upon God to help him. She calls upon Satan to help her. Who will win this battle of good vs. evil?
Heidi Phylum Genus and her boyfriend Flanders Nickels go on a date to far-away Botany Bay, the swimdress capital of the world. Heidi is there to buy herself some swimdresses. Flanders is there to look at the swimdress women. Lo, a centaur comes charging upon the beach, grabs a hold of one of the swimdress women on the beach, and carries her away without her will to his centaur den. There is trouble in paradise for Heidi and Flanders. But they find out here that their eternal destiny is hellfire and brimstone as long as they keep saying, “No,” to Jesus, Who wants to become their Saviour. What will they do about Christ?