Stories

Heidi Breed –the Christian ‘mythological girl ‘–and her Christian boyfriend Flanders Nickels take upon a journey across a one-mile long footbridge  over a great wide river, upon which they shall be tested by God.  If they pass all of the tests on this bridge, then their special prayer request for themselves will come true.  Flanders wields a sword called the ‘StraightSaber,’ which was wrought by God, and with this sword he will do wonders on this pilgrimage

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Craby Gripes, a cheerleader in maroon and  white, is always crabby and does always gripe.  She is a sourpuss of fifteen years of age.  And she does not like pom pom girls.  And her first date in high school is with a boy mighty in Christ.  He convinces her of her need for the Lord.  And in his dining room, she is just about to get saved from her sins with a prayer, when the Devil sends trouble to the house.  And as she is supposed to be praying for salvation, another cheerleader in maroon and a pom pom girl in maroon are having a catfight in the living room behind closed doors.

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Duchy Vanderbloomen, a Dutch cheerleader for De Pere High School in 1999, loves life with her Border Collie pet named  ‘Ringer.’ Ringer is a most sagacious dog with an uncanny savvy, and he makes his mistress happy.  A man named Flanders comes into her and Ringer’s life at Voyageur Park by the Fox River.  This guy preaches Christ crucified and risen again to her.  And she must make her decision about what she will do about Jesus.

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Flanders Nickels, a man without Christ, has a visitor—the girl next door—who is outspoken about her Saviour.  Her name is Tracy Lynn Privette.  He sees her words  about her Jesus as words of a magpie who talks too much.  He resists her Christ.  Instead he shares with this woman his two great secrets—the one, an ambitious pursuit of  learning how to master the wind; and the other, a picture of the love of his life in a wheat germ ad.  Tracy has to get past these two obstacles to tell him of his need for Jesus.
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Lisa ‘Gravel’ Fantasia—the fox—is a Christian pom pom girl.  And she discovers a cheerleader guy crossdresser who lives across the hall from her.  She visits him to lead him to salvation, and she finds out about his major crush for a girl named Heidi.  And the fox has to convince him to choose Christ as Saviour over his cheerleader uniform his sin of drag.

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Huskey Ambassage, a young Christian woman, desires to find out what Jesus looks like.  And the Lord brings her into a beautiful land of dawn.  She meets Flanders Nickels there, and he tells her that this land is called “The Land of Red Dawn,” a world where the deep red sun never rises nor lowers from the edge of the sky of early morning..  In this world, Flanders’s ministry for God is to keep the lighthouse.  And something truly grand is soon to happen here in this Land of Red Dawn.  And it has everything to do with the lighthouse.

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Flanders Nickels, a born-again Christian, suddenly finds himself in a countryside paradise which calls itself ‘the land.’  He discovers the girl Gravel—the bride of the land—at her home amid the waterfalls in the most utopian place of the land.  For his good and for her good and for the land’s good, Gravel must counsel him upon two temptations that are in his life, and he must heed her advice and get right with God about them.  One of his temptations is his unsaved girlfriend.  And his other temptation is his one-piece swimsuit fetish.

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“Miss Mackenzie McKassey,” a prodigal daughter of God, comes back to Flanders Nickels, a mighty man of God, in hopes that he can bring her back to the Lord. In old days they used to be boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ, and they used to fellowship together in the Lord all the time. But she backslid, and he grew in the Lord; and they had to break up. She is back now, but now she is dressed in a red, white, and blue stars and stripes women’s gymnastics leotard. It was because of this gymnastics leotard that she had backslidden and discovered immorality. Will she choose her leotard or the Lord Jesus on this rendezvous with Flanders?”

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The Collie Dog Keeper:  “Heidi Cubit Span, a swim dress girl in black, is the Collie dog keeper of seven pet Collies. Her beloved Collie family is comprised of a dad Collie and a mom Collie and five children collies each nine months old.  She and her Collies live in the countryside of Pembine, Wisconsin, on Young’s Lake.  A Christian fellow named Flanders Nickels has a crush on her, and he wants to lead her to Christ.  He has to convince Heidi that it is Jesus—and not seven Collie pets—that can make a young woman like her happy and saved.  As he tells her, ‘You cannot get a girl saved until you get her to know that she is lost.’”

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“Flanders Nickels, an unbeliever, wonders about the meaning of life; finding no answers he falls into a slough of despond.  A cheerleader girl named Tracey Kelsey Talley and her pet Belgian Tervuren, both of whom he had never met, come along.  She says that she knows God; she is a believer who says that she knows what the meaning of life is.  She answers with Bible verses life’s three questions for Flanders:  ‘From where did I come?  Why am I here? Where am I going?’  As for the cheerleader girl, Flanders reveals to her the secret of why she cannot seem to get her family saved.  And it is all about the dog.”

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