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The Cheerleader Girlfriend

Mr. Morgan McCarthy

The Table of Contents

 

Chapter I……………………………………………………………………………………………Page 1

Chapter II………………………………………………………………………………………….Page 12

Chapter III…………………………………………………………………………………………Page 22

Chapter IV…………………………………………………………………………………………Page 33

Chapter V…………………………………………………………………………………………Page 43

Chapter VI…………………………………………………………………………………………Page 53

Chapter VII………………………………………………………………………………………..Page 64

Chapter VIII………………………………………………………………………………………Page 75

Chapter IX………………………………………………………………………………………..Page 86

Chapter X…………………………………………………………………………………………Page 98

Chapter XI………………………………………………………………………………………Page 109

Chapter XII………………………………………………………………………………………Page 119

Chapter XIII……………………………………………………………………………………..Page 130

Chapter XIV……………………………………………………………………………………..Page 140

Chapter XV………………………………………………………………………………………Page 151

Chapter XVI……………………………………………………………………………………..Page 162

Chapter XVII…………………………………………………………………………………….Page 173

Chapter XVIII……………………………………………………………………………………Page 184

Chapter XIX……………………………………………………………………………………..Page 195

Chapter XX………………………………………………………………………………………Page 206

Chapter XXI……………………………………………………………………………………..Page 216

 

 

 

CHAPTER I

Tracy Haley Majesty stood before him on the docks of Voyageur Park in all of her feminine cheerleader grandeur and pulchritude.  She was his cheerleader girlfriend, and his name was Flanders Arckery Nickels.  “Tracy!  Tracy!” called forth Flanders as if himself her own cheerleader, “you are the most beautiful girl that De Pere High School has ever had.”

“And my cheerleader’s uniform?” asked the cheerleader girlfriend, wanting to hear more sweet things from her handsome boyfriend.

“Why, it’s almost as pretty as you,” he said.

“I like that,” she said, most glad of this praise of her own favorite outfit of hers.  Tracy Majesty, though not a senior, was still promoted to head varsity football cheerleader of the De Pere Redbird cheerleader squad.  Her features were like unto those of a princess in the eyes of Flanders.  Her hair was long and brown, and he and she both preferred it to be so.  And her glasses had big lenses, but he could still get lost in those most enchanting eyes of hers.  And she was delightfully slim of frame and slender of limb.  And she was a tall girl, indeed just as tall even as himself.  And her cheerleader

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uniform that was almost as comely as Tracy herself?  This was what Flanders saw now on the docks before him as he gazed upon her alluring attire:  Ribbons of maroon and white adorned her head.  Her cheerleader’s top was a long-sleeved sweater with an asymmetrical pattern thus:  At the top, from the right shoulder down diagonally most of the way to the belly and then straight to the left side, was a field of white.  In this field of white, alongside this diagonal and this straight line were two blue stripes

and two white stripes, alternating along this edge.  And in the center of this white field and in its upper

portion were three large letters in script reading vertically “DHS.”  This was the chenille emblem for Tracy and her fellow cheerleaders, and it stood for “De Pere High School.”  And it was in maroon.  The rest of this cheerleader sweater in its front was maroon, the part that lay to the right and below the diagonal and the straight line and across the bottom hem around the waist.  As for the long sleeves of this cheerleader’s uniform as Flanders could see as a spectator, Tracy’s left arm was covered in its upper portion of sweater in the same white as and as an extension of the field of white that had the chenille emblem.  And the middle of that sleeve had the same two alternating blue and white stripes also as extensions as those of the sweater, lining up just right.  And the lower portion of this sleeve was maroon all the way to the cuffs.  And as for her right arm as Flanders beheld, it was covered in a long sleeve all of maroon from shoulder to cuff.  This was the cheerleader girlfriend’s sweater, and this was the year 1992.  As for her cheerleader’s bottom, it was a skirt alluringly all full of pleats.  And these kinds of pleats were called “box pleats.”  And Tracy’s box pleats around herself were many and narrow and lustrous.  The main pleats were all bright white, and the contrasting pleats, the pleats that lay in-between, were all deep maroon.  And a yoke of deep maroon descended down the front of her cheerleader skirt just above the pleats.  And a blue stripe ran across the bottom of her skirt throughout all the main pleats and the contrasting pleats.  And a white stripe ran across the bottom hem of her skirt just below the blue stripe.  And her knees lay just below the bottom of her pleats.  This was Tracy Majesty’s favorite article of attire of all her closet.  And this was Flanders’s favorite as well.  Every day

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she would see him looking at her down there, and she would say to him, “Gawkin’ at my pleats again, Flanders?”  And he would say, “Yes, Tracy, gawking at your pleats again.”  Cheerleader girlfriend and cheerleader’s boyfriend were both in tenth grade.  As for the rest of her accouterments as varsity football cheerleader, Miss Majesty was covered with short white socks and with white sneakers with white shoelaces.  And she held two great big pom poms of maroon and white that covered up her hands and wrists and part of her forearms they were so very large.

And Miss Tracy Majesty went ahead to cheer a football cheer that was Flanders’s favorite as her greatest fan:

“Freshmen, what’s your number?  What’s your number?

Freshmen, freshmen, what’s your number?

Ninety-six!  Ninety-six!  Ninety-ninety-ninety-six!

Sophomores, what’s your number?  What’s your number?

Sophomores, sophomores, what’s your number?

Ninety-five!  Ninety-five!  Ninety-ninety-ninety-five!

Juniors, what’s your number?  What’s your number?

Juniors, juniors, what’s your number?

Ninety-four!  Ninety-four!  Ninety-ninety-ninety-four!

Seniors, what’s your number?  What’s your number?

Seniors, seniors, what’s your number?

Ninety-three!  Ninety-three!  Ninety-ninety-ninety-three!

Redbirds, what’s your number?  What’s your number?

Redbirds, redbirds, what’s your number?

Number one!  Number one!  Number number number one!”

 

“Amen!  Amen, Tracy!” lauded Flanders Nickels his cheerleader girlfriend.

“Flanders,” asked Tracy Majesty, “do my cheers still sound just as good as hymns to you?”

“Your cheering of cheers is equal to the flock singing from the hymnbook, girl,” praised Flanders his exceptional cheerleader woman.

Cheerleader girlfriend and cheerleader’s boyfriend, though they both loved cheer leading—she as a participant; and he as a spectator—they both loved Christ the Saviour even more so.  Tracy and Flanders were both born-again Christians doing great things for the Lord in their Christian walk.   And, as born-again believers, the only thing they both liked to do more than flirting with each other was

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fellowshipping in the Lord with each other.  And worship was the one thing that these two young converts turned to first for daily fulfillment and satisfaction—especially by way of quiet time alone with God.  These two sixteen-year-old young adults loved praying and Bible-reading and going to church more than almost everybody else did in the church that they attended.  Flanders Nickels was a rock in the faith; and Tracy Majesty, a true lady of the Lord.  Others in De Pere High School—both teachers and students– saw Flanders as the “boy whom we should all be like.”  And others of Tracy’s fellow cheerleaders—and everybody else at De Pere High School—knew Tracy as “the virtuous cheerleader” and “our virtuous girl.”  When a student wanted to make the right decision in his life, he would come up to Flanders and ask him, “What would God wish me to do?”  And when a cheerleader in her squad had a problem, she would come up to Tracy and ask her, “Would you pray for me?”  None among all of De Pere High School were so esteemed in their goodness as were Flanders and Tracy. It was said that even their fun little coquetry between themselves that “God was in it.”  Flanders was already promoted to usher at his Baptist church, and Pastor bestowed this position only to those of his flock who were the most faithful in their church attendance.  And Tracy was the church clerk, taking most meticulous and legible notes on all the church’s business meetings.  Tracy missed only one church service since the flock had voted her into church membership, and that was because she was sick and in bed with the flu that day.  Flanders had missed not one church service since he had become born again; he had a perfect attendance record at his Baptist church these few years.    Tracy loved to memorize from the book of Proverbs in the Bible.  Flanders loved to memorize from the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible.  Both books were written by Solomon.  Tracy loved best to pray for the other saints of the flock—that God help them to live for Him.  Flanders loved best to pray for the lost and the backslidden of the flock—that God get a hold of their lives–to save the lost and to restore the carnal.  Tracy’s best friend of the flock was Emmy—Pastor’s wife.  Flanders’s best friend of the flock was Pastor Stedfast—the shepherd of the little Baptist church.  And most fervent prayer meeting circles on Wednesday Night

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Bible Study and Prayer Meetings happened when the men prayed with the men, and the women prayed with the women.  Particularly in the prayer circle with Pastor and Flanders and the two faithful deacons and in the prayer circles with Emmy and Tracy and the two faithful deacons’ wives did the prayers of the saints thus reach up to God’s Throne Above.  And as far as the hymns of this Baptist church, Tracy’s favorite was “Holy!  Holy!  Holy!”  And Flanders’s favorite of the hymnbook was “My Jesus, I Love Thee.”  Tracy’s favorite Christmas carol was a carol that was not in the hymnbook, but she memorized it and did sing it throughout her days as a believer.  And that was the carol “Panis Angelicus.”  The Christmas carol that Flanders liked to sing was in the church hymnbook with all six of its many happy stanzas.  And that carol was “The First Noel.”  He memorized this song many times over in his years of carols.  And, just like Pastor Stedfast, these two took many good stands for the King James Version Bible against others who named the name of Christ, but who thought that the modern translations were also the word of God.  “The Bible does not need to be rewritten; it needs to be reread,” said Flanders just as Pastor had preached often.  And “The King James is not outdated, nor does it have mistakes.  And it is not hard to understand; it is written at a fourth grade reading level,” preached Miss Majesty to advocates of the New King James Version and the New International Version out there.  As for Pastor’s sermons, Miss Majesty loved to hear him preach on Heaven; and Flanders loved to hear him preach hellfire and brimstone.  And these two pillars of the church excelled on the midweek services quiz verse recitations.  Tracy never recited any of the quiz verses incorrectly; and Flanders stumbled on only one of all of them—the easy verse Joel 1:15 which he already knew well, but botched up on–”Alas for the day!  For the day of the Lord is at hand, and as a destruction from the Almighty shall it come.”

“Flanders, would you tell me Ruth 3:11 again?” asked the cheerleader girlfriend here on the docks cheering before him.

“I’d be glad to, girl,” he said.

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“Sing it!” she said in gaiety.

“I cannot sing,” he said.

“I know,” she said.  “I hear you try to at church.”

“I’ll say it,” he said.

“Say it,” she said.

And Flanders Nickels recited for her “Tracy’s verse”:  “And now, my daughter, fear not; I will do to thee all that thou requirest:  for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman.”

“Am I just like Ruth here in this verse?” asked Tracy once again.

“All of the city knew about Ruth’s virtue, and all of De Pere knows you as a cheerleader of virtue, O Tracy,” said Flanders.  “You are just like Ruth.”

“Boaz was the right man for Ruth,” said Miss Majesty.

“Am I the right man for you, Tracy?” asked Flanders.

“Yes!  Yes!  Oh, yes,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.  “Am I the right girl for you?”

“I will have no other,” he promised.

“Then I shall have no other, either,” she said.

“Do you mean ‘no other gal?’” he teased her.

“Boyfriend!” she chastised him.  “I mean ‘no other boy.’”

“I shall have no other boy, either,” he said in silliness.  And he said, “I’ve got you.”

“That’s right.  You’ve already got me,” she said.

“And we—you and I—have God,” he said.

“And He has both of us—you and me,” said Miss Majesty.

“Tracy, did I tell you the psalm that I discovered yesterday?” he asked.

“All, the Psaltery,” she said in gladness for the book of Psalms.

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“I do not think that you mean ‘Psaltery,’ Tracy,” he said.  “I think that you mean ‘the Psalter.’”

“Really?” she asked.

“A ‘psaltery’ is an Old Testament musical instrument with ten strings,” he corrected her.  “And the Psalter is the book of Psalms.”

“Oh the trouble over an extra ‘y,’” she said, grinning silly.  “So, what did you find in the good Psalter, Flanders?”

“Psalm 148,” he said, “The praise psalm above every praise psalm!”

“Is it really good, Flanders?” she asked.

“It is really great,” he said.

“A little grand even?” she asked.

“The most grand,” he said.

“I’ve got to read this for myself right now,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.  “And she put down her pom poms and did pick up her Bible from the picnic table.

“Would you read it for me so that I can hear it, O Tracy?” he requested.

“Shall I sing it for you?” she said.

“I love hearing you sing,” he said.

“I do not know how to make up a melody to go with this,” she said, looking upon Psalm 148 open before her.

“Could you say it for me?” he asked.

“That I can do.  I’m a good reader,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.  And she read this grand praise Psalm for Flanders and for herself:  “Praise ye the Lord.  Praise ye the Lord from the heavens:  praise him in the heights.  Praise ye him, all his angels:  praise ye him, all his hosts.  Praise ye him, sun and moon:  praise him, all ye stars of light.  Praise him, ye heavens of heavens, and ye waters that be above the heavens.  Let them praise the name of the Lord:  for he commanded, and they were created.

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He hath also stablished them for ever and ever:  he hath made a decree which shall not pass.  Praise the Lord from the earth, ye dragons, and all deeps:  Fire and hail; snow and vapours; stormy wind fulfilling his word:  Mountains, and all hills; fruitful trees, and all cedars:  Beasts, and all cattle; creeping things, and flying fowl:  Kings of the earth, and all people; princes, and all judges of the earth:  Both young men, and maidens; old men, and children:  Let them praise the name of the Lord:  for his name alone is excellent; his glory is above the earth and heaven. He also exalteth the horn of his people, the praise of all his saints; even of the children of Israel, a people near unto him.  Praise ye the Lord.”

“Fourteen Bible verses that I will sit down and start memorizing tonight, Tracy,” he did say.

“Maybe I, also,” she said.  “I like this a lot.”

“All of this talk about the heavens and the heavens of heavens,” said Flanders.

“Just as in those two verses about the temple of God and about the God of the temple, Flanders,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.  “Old Testament verses,”

“Which ones are they?” he asked, greatly wondering.

“I cannot remember now how they go, Flanders, but I still remember what their references are.

I Kings 8:27 is the first one.  And II Chronicles 6:18 is the second one,” said Miss Majesty.

And he looked up both verses and did read them out loud before her for himself:  “But will God indeed dwell on the earth?  Behold, the heaven and heaven of heavens cannot contain thee; how much less this house that I have builded?”  And again, “But will God in very deed dwell with men on the earth?  Behold, heaven and the heaven of heavens cannot contain thee; how much less this house which I have built!”

“I wonder what the difference is between ‘heaven’ and ‘heaven of heavens,’” she did query.

“I know that both mean very good things,” he said.

“I wonder what the term ‘seventh heaven,’ might mean,” she said.  “Such a place as the seventh heaven in not in the Bible.”

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“Pastor in Sunday School taught us about three heavens, with definitions for each of them,” said Flanders Nickels.

“You mean like ‘the first heaven’ and ‘the second heaven’ and ‘the third heaven?’” asked the cheerleader girlfriend.

He nodded and said, “The ‘first heaven’ is the sky above us in this Earth.  The ‘second heaven’ is outer space.  And the ‘third heaven’ is the Paradise where only us born-again Christians get to come home and be with Jesus forever.”

“The third heaven,” she said.  “Some Place beyond the farthest star.  Some Place in the uttermost parts of the north.  Some Place of perfect rest with our Lord for the rest of eternity for you and me.”

“And the rapture can happen at any moment now and bring us There without us even having to die first to get There,” said Flanders Nickels.

“In II Corinthians 12:1-4, after having been stoned for the cause of Christ, Paul the Apostle was raptured for just a little while, and then he had to come back to Earth,” said Miss Majesty.

“I remember,” said Flanders Nickels.  “Therein it is written in Paul’s words of Scripture, ‘How that [I] was caught up into paradise, and heard unspeakable words, which it is not lawful for a man to utter.’”

“The Apostle Paul was raptured only for just a little while,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.  But Enoch, who was a young man of his time, at the age of 365 years, was raptured up for forever.”

“That was because he pleased God,” said Flanders.  “Our rapture soon to come will be a rapture of many.  Enoch’s rapture was a rapture of one.”

“And Elijah the prophet, too, O Flanders,” said Miss Majesty.  “His was a rapture forever of one, also.”

“In great pomp and ceremony indeed,” said Flanders.

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“In a chariot of fire and with horses of fire and amid a great whirlwind,” added Miss Majesty.

“And Elisha the prophet was there with him and did see it all happen,” said Flanders.

“Pastor also preaches that the next event on God’s timetable is the rapture of the church,” said Tracy.  “He also says from the pulpit, ‘There is nothing more that needs to happen before the rapture.’

Before she herself found Christ, Mom used to always say, ‘If you want to get to Heaven, first you have to die.’  But now Mom found Christ, and she has the blessed hope that you and I have for the promised rapture of us saints.  We do not have to die to get to Heaven if the rapture takes place in our lifetime.”

“I wish the rapture were right now, Tracy,” said Flanders.

“I wish that very much for myself, too,” said the cheerleader gal.

“Other believers have also been praying for that to happen, also,” said Flanders.

“I’m glad that it did not happen before I myself got saved,” said Tracy Majesty.  “If it had, I would have been one left behind to endure tribulation and the great white throne and eternity in Hell to come.”

“The longsuffering of our Lord is salvation,” recited Flanders good Scripture, “II Peter 3:15.”

“The Bible tells us believers to be patient for the translation to come,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.

“That translation is on God’s timetable and not on our timetable.” said Flanders.  “That last soul to get saved in this church age has not yet gotten saved.”

“We must wait until the fullness of times is accomplished,” said Miss Majesty.

“As it says in I Corinthians chapter fifteen about the rapture, it takes place in a moment, in the twinkling of the eye, in a trumpet blast,” said Flanders Nickels.

“And as it says in I Thessalonians chapter four likewise,” summarized Tracy, “Jesus will descend to the clouds with a shout and with an archangel’s declaration and with a trumpet blast.  And we are snatched up to him up in the air, and then He takes us all the way up to Heaven to be with

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Him for ever after.  First the dead in Christ are translated thus, then we living yet are translated thus right after.  And you and I will live happily ever after Up in Glory.

“Do another cheer for me, if you would, Tracy,” he said.

“How can a girl like me refuse an offer like that?” she said.

“Chant the ‘dooby cheer,’ that I love to hear so much,” he told her.

“Should I do some gymnastics with it, too?” asked Tracy Majesty.

“Put on your best show,” he encouraged her.

“The chant is short; so my performance also has to be short, Flanders,” she said.

“Short may not be so good as long, but short is better than nothing at all,” he said, glad with his cheerleader girlfriend.

And Tracy Haley Majesty put the King James Bible back upon the picnic table.  And she picked up her two pom poms.  And she shook them like music to his ears.  And she said her requested cheer, “Dooby-dooby-dooby-do!  Dooby-dooby-dooby-do!  Uh oh!  Uh oh!  Uh oh!  Uh oh!”  Then she held her arms akimbo, her giant pom poms covering most of her right and left sides, and she leaped up into the air, bent her knees and brought her knees to her chest, hugged her calves in both arms, while her hands still held the pom poms, and she did a double backward somersault up in the air.  Then she let go of her shins, straightened out her legs, and brought her pom poms back to the sides of her hips, and she landed most agilely and squarely back upon her feet before her greatest admirer.  And then she shook her pom poms above her head and kicked up and brought down her left leg and kicked up and brought down her right leg.  And she asked him, “Did you love my cheer, Flanders?”

And he told her, “I love you and your cheers, Tracy!!”

“Do you love my cheerleader uniform, too, Flanders?” she asked.

“I love you and your cheers and your cheerleader uniform, Miss Majesty,” he told her.

“I’m glad now,” said his cheerleader girlfriend.

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CHAPTER II

The cheerleader girlfriend and her beloved pet white winged unicorn were out in the backyard

on a sunny warm Saturday afternoon.  “Decade,” addressed Tracy her unicorn, “there’s lots of yellow hawk weed over here by me to eat.  Why are you way over there, eating orange hawk weed?”

“Mistress, I do not care for yellow hawk weed,” said Decade.  “I like orange hawk weed.”

“How can one taste bad; and the other taste good?” asked the unicorn mistress.  “A girl would think that both would taste alike.”

“You never had hawk weed, mistress,” said Decade.  “But we unicorns can tell the difference.”

“You unicorns are odd creatures,” said the cheerleader.

“You people are odd creatures,” said Decade, looking up at his mistress and tilting his equine head and horn to the side and grinning in his horse teeth at her.

“What does my unicorn think so odd about his mistress?” asked Tracy Majesty, curious and eager to hear what he had to tell her.

“You put three sugar cubes in your mug of iced tea; yet you put four sugar cubes in your mug of hot tea; yet your iced tea mug and your hot tea mug are the exact same size, O Mistress,” told Decade

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all.

“That does make me look kind of odd,” said Tracy.

He reached down his unicorn horn toward her tray and touched her box of sugar cubes in this tray where she was sitting.  And he went on to give a report upon what was in this tray as if announcing a football game:  “Over here we have the indispensable pink and white box of sugar cubes.  Over there we have the bowl of quarters of limes.  Over here we have the box of mint tea bags.  Over there we have the big dark blue ceramic mug.  And over here we have the hot pan of water ready to pour into the mug.  And most important of all is the official spoon for the mistress’s tea given her by her mother, who   also likes this spoon herself.”

“You forgot one thing, Decade,” said the cheerleader girl.

“What is it?” asked the winged he-unicorn.

“And over here, ready to make this most epicurean tea is the tea drinker herself—Miss Tracy Haley Majesty– the head varsity cheerleader about to drink it,” said the mistress.

“Careful that you do not spill any on your uniform, my mistress,” said Decade.  “You treat that more carefully than you treat your Bible.”

“That’s because my Bible is hardy and durable, and my uniform is feminine and delicate, Decade,” she said.  Then she began to make her hot tea from her tray of sundry and diverse ingredients.

But when she picked up her box of sugar cubes, she paused to shake it for its lightness.

“Mistress, what’s wrong?” asked Decade.

“See for yourself,” she said, showing the winged unicorn her open sugar cube box.

“Why, there are only three sugar cubes left,” said Decade.  “Your hot tea you’re having now needs four sugar cubes”

“That’s no problem for this tea expert,” said Miss Majesty.

“But you cannot drink it like that, Mistress,” said Decade.  “I know how set you are in your

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ways.”

“I can still drink it without compromise,” she told him.  “I have a way out of this problem if it ever happens.”

“You can make it not taste bitter to you for the sake of one less sugar cube?” asked the he-unicorn.

“I found out the answer to such a problem,” she bragged.  “Decade, do you see all of the loose sugar grains left in this box?”  He nodded his horn in assent.  “Well I found out that the loose sugar grains left at the end of the box of sugar cubes measures out to one whole sugar cube.  Problem solved, Decade.  I can still have my cup of mint tea this day with you without compromising on taste.”

“I wish I could have had a sugar cube,” said the equine.

“Sugar cubes are only for horses—not unicorns,” said his mistress.

“I feel like dandelions now,” said Decade.

“I see some dandelions over there,” said Miss Majesty.

“Those already went to seed.  It is too late,” he said.

“Let me guess, Decade:  You care for yellow dandelions, but you do not care for white dandelions,” surmised the cheerleader girl.

“We unicorns can be picky eaters, Mistress,” said Decade.

“And we people can be picky drinkers,” said Tracy Majesty.

“Go ahead and drink it now, Mistress,” said her most fond unicorn friend.  “I think that it is cooled down now a little.”

She took a sip and said, “Ah! Nectar indeed!”

“Nectar, drink of the gods,” defined learned wise Decade.

A silent moment passed between mistress and unicorn.  And the cheerleader asked, “Decade, what does Flanders see in me?”

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“I know for sure that he absolutely cherishes you,” said the he-unicorn.

“But why me?” she asked.  “He’s the star and hero of our whole school the way he lives for God.  He’s the biggest hunk of all of De Pere High School.”

“My star-struck mistress, Flanders is not a hunk.  He’s skinny and short for a high school boy.  He is no bigger than yourself, and you are an average sized high school girl.”

“Oh, but I’m crazy for him, Decade,” said Miss Majesty.  “He’s my special prince from God.”

“And you, my mistress, Flanders does see most ardently as his princess from God,” said the winged unicorn.

“He does call me ‘his Princess,’” confessed the football cheerleader.

“Do not forget your status at De Pere High School, O Mistress,” said Decade.  “You are the other star and hero of school in your own life so rife with God and godliness.  The city of De Pere cannot make up their minds about who is the greater Christian between you and him.  Do not discount your life and status for your crush for the man.”

“Flanders has brought many visitors to our church because people want to meet him,” said

Tracy Majesty.

“You have brought many fans to Braisher Field because people want to meet De Pere’s famous football cheerleader,” said Decade.

“I do give out tracts at our football stadium,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.  “And people read them and get saved.”

“And fans of Flanders want to hear him tell his war stories and hear of his great battles,” said Decade.

“His battles that he fights for God and for me,” said Tracy.  “He goes and tries to win souls when he tells them of all those evil griffins.”

“The world’s famous griffin-slayer, a head cheerleader’s true knight in shining armor, Mistress,”

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proclaimed wise Decade.

“Ouch!  Don’t talk about the literal knight in shining armor, O Decade,” said Miss Majesty.

“Ow, Mistress!  Let me change that to figurative knight in shining armor,” apologized the unicorn who had spoken a horrible faux pas.  “Flanders is your true knight not in shining armor.”

Both well knew of a false knight in true shining armor– the literal knight whom she had let come into her life, devastate her life, and did send out evil gray griffins after her ever since because of her one moment of indiscretion.

“I’m still embarrassed and ashamed and convicted,” said Miss Majesty.

“The Devil himself is in that knight and in that knight’s griffin demons, Mistress,” said Decade in conciliation.

“I’ve gotten over him a long time ago,” confessed the cheerleader.

“At least nothing happened between the two of you,” said the he-unicorn.

“This cheerleader girl before you now, O good and wonderful Decade, had fled fornication, just as the Bible tells us to do.” admitted Tracy Majesty.

“You did the very right thing,” said the winged white unicorn.

“I just wish that I had not first chosen to follow him,” said Miss Majesty.

“He’s gone now,” said Decade.

“But his griffins come,” said the cheerleader gal.

“His griffins come to ravage, my mistress,” said Decade.

“Me first, Flanders second,” said Tracy.

“And me third, and Flanders’s winged horse Year fourth,” said Decade.

“God is stronger than Satan, good Decade,” said Miss Majesty.  “Any demon that wants to get to any of us four has to get past God first.”

“Praise the Almighty!” said Decade.

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“Praise our omnipotent Saviour!” said the cheerleader mistress.

“The Maker of mistresses and winged unicorns,” said Decade.

“The Maker of men and women,” said Tracy.  “And of boyfriends and girlfriends like Flanders and myself.”

“Indeed, O Mistress, you and Flanders being saved, the Holy Spirit of God Himself dwells within your bodies,” said the he-unicorn.

“And we believers need to keep our bodies clean from sin and to be kept pure,” said the cheerleader woman.

“You and Flanders are both virgins,” said Decade.

“Yeah!” said Tracy Majesty.  “We are commanded to be such because we are not married to each other.  And God’s commandment is not grievous to me, and it is not grievous to my Flanders.”

“Remember your hero Jami Waite, Mistress,” said the winged unicorn.

“Jami Waite is my role model as a Christian,” declared Tracy Majesty.

“People can be abstinent, and it’s not weird,” recited Decade.

“That’s what she said in the newspaper article,” said Miss Majesty.  “Miss Waite said, ‘People can be abstinent, and it’s not weird.’”

“Jami is a good young woman,” said Decade.

“She is just like me,” said Tracy.  “And I am just like her.”

“You two are alike in another way, too,” said the white unicorn.

“Yeah.  I know what you mean, O Decade,” said his mistress.

“She’s a head cheerleader, too.” said Decade.

“Jami Waite and Tracy Majesty—head cheerleaders,” said the girl, tasting those words in her ears to her delight.

“Jami Waite and Tracy Majesty—steadfast virgins,” said the white unicorn.

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“What better way for a girl to honor Jesus?” asked Miss Majesty.  “We women need to save our bodies for our husbands in time to come.”  Then she said, “Is it not written in Hebrews 13:4, Decade, ‘Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled:  but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge?’”

“That group of hers was called ‘Virginity Rules.’” said her pet.

“Virginity Rules, that group in Texas promoting abstinence education, Decade,” said Tracy.

“I’d bet that there are lots of Scripture verses about the goodness of abstinence, O Mistress,” said Decade.

“Yes, Decade,” said Miss Majesty, “and lots of good verses about the badness of immorality.”

“I’d bet that there are lots of them in your book of Proverbs you love so much,” said Decade.

“Proverbs about harlots and foolish young men,” said the cheerleader girl.

“Tell me what God has to say about harlots and foolish young men, my mistress,” encouraged the he-unicorn his mistress to recite her wisdom from the book of Proverbs.

And she went on to recite memorized passages unto her good unicorn friend:  “That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words.  For at the window of my house I looked through my casement,  And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding,  Passing through the street near her corner, and he went the way to her house, In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night:  And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart.  (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house:  Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner.)…

With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him.  He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks;

Till a dart strike through his liver; as a bird hasteth to the snare, and knoweth not that it is for his life.  Hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth.  Let not thine

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heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths.  For she hath cast down many wounded:  yea, many strong men have been slain by her.  Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death.”  Then she said, “Proverbs 7: 5-11, 21-27, good Decade.”

“The sins of adultery and fornication most clearly condemned in the Good Book,” said the white winged unicorn.

“And it is equally wrong for the man and for the woman, Decade,” said the head cheerleader.

“And the sin of homosexuality is also condemned in the Good Book,” said Decade.

“Yes, it is, Decade.  And it is a perversion,” said the Christian woman.  “And, no, they were not born that way.  Homosexuality is a wicked and a chosen lifestyle.”

“Well said, Mistress,” said the good unicorn.

“Is it not written in Romans 1:27, ‘And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet?’” told the cheerleader scripture to her unicorn fellow shipper.

“Does the Holy Bible talk about that other perversion, Mistress?” asked her pet.

“You mean the sin of lesbianism, Decade?” asked Tracy Majesty.

“Yes.  Women with women working that which is unseemly,” said Decade.

“That’s the verse before.  Romans 1:26:  ‘For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:’” shared the daughter of God her good Bible wisdom.

“Lesbianism must also be a chosen and wicked lifestyle,” said Decade.  “Women are not born as  lesbians.”

“Truth fills this Good Book,” said Miss Majesty, holding up her King James Bible.

“Heterosexuality is good and natural,” said the pet unicorn.  “Is it not called, ‘being straight?””

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“Being straight is very good and very natural, fine Decade,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.

“I wonder if unstraight relationships can be as satisfying as straight relationships?” queried

the wise unicorn.

“I hardly think so,” said Miss Majesty.

“And now they get married to each other,” said the winged white unicorn.

“Unstraight marriages must work out even less than straight marriages,” said the girl of God.

“Remember the epidemic of AIDS,” said her pet.

“And from where did AIDS first come?” asked the straight girl.

“From homosexuals,” said Decade.

“God’s judgment upon our world,” said the young woman.

“The world out there would accuse us two of hate crimes if they heard us talk,” said the unicorn.  “But what does the world know about right and wrong?”

“We do not hate the sodomites, though,” said Tracy.  “Sodomites just have to get born again and repent of their sodomy.”

“You mean that we are to love the sodomites, but hate the sodomy,” said Decade.

“Yes, as Pastor says in his sermons about the unsaved, ‘Love the sinner, but hate the sin.’” said Tracy Majesty.

“Also, mistress, if God hates the sin, ought we not also to hate the sin?” asked learned Decade.

“God is quite the final Judge of what is right and what is wrong.”

“We believers need to hate what Jesus hates and to love what Jesus loves,” said the Christian cheerleader.  “We Christians thereby hate unstraight ways and love straight ways.  But we must still

care about sinners’ souls nonetheless.  After all, we ourselves are sinners, and Jesus still loves us.”

“But what about the gray griffins?” asked her pet unicorn. “Does God love the gray griffins?”

“Does God love the knight who sends them?” asked the cheerleader Christian.

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“I wouldn’t believe so, Mistress,” said Decade.   “Those are demons.”                                                        “Fallen angels such as they cannot repent and get saved as lost sodomites and lost straight people can, O learned Decade,” said the cheerleader gal.

Just then a shadow passed across the sun above them for just a moment.  Woman and unicorn quickly looked up for fear.  And there flying by above was a tawny griffin going by.  “Whoa.  That’s a relief, Mistress,” said Decade.

“I thought he might be a gray griffin,” said the unicorn mistress the thoughts of both of them.

“Tawny griffins are not sent out to kill us.  The gray griffins are the ones who want us killed,” said the white he-unicorn.

“The knight works only with his gray griffins, Decade,” said the mistress what Decade already knew.  “He does not work with normal tawny griffins.”

“I wish we had Flanders here with us now,” said the white unicorn.

“With his mace he does his good work for God,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.

“He’s a short man, but a conqueror,” said Decade.

“Napoleon was a short conqueror, too,” said the cheerleader.

“But Flanders conquers for God; and Napoleon, for his France,” said the educated he-unicorn.

“I’d bet that Napoleon had never seen a griffin,” said Tracy Majesty.

“I do not know, O mistress,” said Decade.

“I do not know, either,” said the cheerleader Tracy.

“Now I have a taste for wild green grass,” said the hungry unicorn.

“Go and eat wild green grass then,” said his mistress.

And the equine with the horn went to graze in the next field where lots of wild green grass was growing.

 

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CHAPTER III

 

Flanders Nickels was alone in his backyard with Year—his adored pet winged white she-horse.

In both hands and holding it up in the air above his head, Flanders showed off to her his mace of God.

“It looks like it came from the Middle Ages, Master,” said Year, “but it was made here late in the twentieth century.”

“The Lord made this mace for me.  My ministry for Jesus is to protect my cheerleader girlfriend from all of those demons,” said Flanders.

This mace had a one-foot long wooden handle with thin leather straps spiraling around it.  And it had three steel chains also one-foot long that were connected to the end of this handle.  And each of the three chains held a steel ball with many steel spikes all throughout, these steel spiked balls being three inches in diameter.

“I remember when God gave that to you, O Master,” said Year.

“Yes, the very next day after I had asked Miss Majesty out for our first date together, good Year,” said Flanders Nickels.

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“That was when God stopped using you to win souls and started using you to slay demons, Master,” said his white winged horse.

“Flanders Arckery Nickels—griffin slayer,” said the man of God out loud.

“The famous Griffin Slayer, O Master,” emphasized Year, “capital letters to that title.”

“My famous cheerleader is worth it, girl,” said Flanders to his she-horse.

A muteness passed between them for a moment, and the winged horse said, “I’m ready, if you’re ready.”

“We came out here for me to train,” said Flanders.  “I shall train with you now.”

“Which practice do you think that God would have you to do this day, Master?” asked Year.

“The Holy Spirit said that this time I must try our game of ‘Descend.’ O Year,” said the warrior.

“The game of ‘Descend,’” said his training partner.  “We have not practiced that game for a while.”  In this game, the winged horse dropped things from the sky down to him, and he destroyed them with his mace before they hit the ground.  Depending upon the size and weight of the targets they used in this game, she, in carrying them up to the skies above, used either her teeth or a rope around her shoulders or a basket tied to her back.  Flanders prepared the process before her flight; then she flew up

into the air; then she either opened her mouth or pulled on the rope or tilted her body and basket to the side, in order to let fall the object that was to descend toward her waiting master below; then he broke it

up with his fell and efficacious mace just before it would come down upon him.  This practice was especially useful with griffins in battles in the air or when griffins swooped down upon him from the air where he was standing or riding Year as she galloped.

“Let us go to the shed, Year,” he said, “and we shall begin.”  The storage house for this practicing of Descend was this little shed out back here.  And winged horse and soldier went to the shed to find good targets for training.

“How many descents shall we do today, Master?” asked his winged horse.

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“I think that we shall do five of them, girl,” said the Christian soldier.

“We need to make them hard,” said Year.  “Descend is getting too easy for you these days.”

“Yes, Year.  I think that I will pick some tricky ones this time,” said Flanders.

“Just do not let yourself get knocked in the head with one of these, Master,” she said.

“Or get myself crushed from one of these from your basket,” said Flanders.

“Descend is dangerous,” said Year.

“So are gray griffins,” said Flanders.

And first off for today’s training, Flanders picked out a box of heavy nails that he had bought from the hardware store not long ago.  “I’ll start out with nails, girl,” he said.  “You can carry these and drop them from your mouth.”

“Master, do you not wonder what a hundred nails can do to a man from a thousand feet in the air?” asked the she-horse.

“Then drop them from nine hundred ninety-nine feet in the air, O winged horse,” said Flanders with a confident and sure stubbornness.

“This day’s training is getting more rigorous than the battles themselves, my master,” said Year.

“The same God Who has called me to fight has also called me to practice how to fight,” said her master, his mind made up.

“May God be with you,” said his winged horse.

And Flanders put the box of nails into her mouth, and he said, “Ascend,” and she obeyed, and he looked up in expectation, his eyes studying the sky and his mace in his grip and his arm ready for the blow.

After ascending very high, Year felt that now it was time to let fall this box of nails down toward her master with his ready mace.  And she opened up her mouth and let fall this weapon of a target.  And it descended most rapidly.

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Standing upon the earth and looking up toward the heavens, the Christian soldier saw this box of nails coming down right toward his head,  He was holding his mace in both hands.  Then he chose to act.  With both hands, Flanders brought back his mace in an underhand swing toward his own back; then with both hands Flanders swung his mace back upward in an overhand swing.  And bang!  His mace struck the heavy little box of nails two feet right above his head in a great smash.  And all the one hundred nails flew out in all directions like projectiles.  And the empty cardboard box fell harmlessly upon the top of his head.  Not one nail fell upon any part of himself.  Taking the little red box off of his head, he held it up toward his training partner, and he said,  “As I did to this box of nails, so, too, does God do to the griffins that contend against me, girl!”

“Bravo!  Bravo, Master!” called down loyal Year.

And she came down for today’s second round of Descend.  “Now I want a harder target to crash  my mace into,” said the man.

“I pray you, Master, one not so dangerous this time,” implored his winged horse friend.

“The hardest ones are not necessarily the most dangerous ones, Year,” said the warrior with the mace.

“Do you have an idea what you want the second target to be?” asked Year.

“I do, girl,” said Flanders.  “And I shall find it in the shed.”  He went in, looked around briefly, and came right back out, holding a single feather between his right thumb and his right index finger.

“You call that a target for Descend, Master?” said Year in levity.

“I do, Year,” he told her.  “It cannot hurt me, but can I hurt it?”  He went on to say, “What falls

more inconsistently than a single feather?  One moment it is over here; the next moment it is over there.

And its fall is deceptively slow for a soldier who fights fleet and agile griffins.  And with a feather, though I may get two or three swings with my mace, my second and third swings would be more likely to miss such a target than my first swing.  It may be the most unpredictable target I have ever used in

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this game thus far in our practices, Year.”

“It is a bigger feather than my own wing feathers.  And it is a bigger feather than Decade’s wing feathers.  And it is not a white feather,” said Year.

“It is a gray wing feather, Year,” declared Flanders Nickels.

“Are you saying that this came from a gray griffin?” asked the winged she-horse in surprise.

“From my first griffin battle, girl,” said Flanders.  “I slew my first griffin that day and kept one of his feathers.  Now I can use it for God.”

“Go ahead and slay the gray griffin feather, gallant Master,” said Year in exhortation.

Flanders set it between her teeth, said, “Ascend, girl,” and she ascended.  After a short flight upward, Year felt that it was time, and she opened her mouth and let descend the feather which was as tricky as its former possessor.

Flanders raised his mace upward in his right hand and watched.  At first he could not see it his winged horse was so high up.  But then he saw something coming down very most unevenly.  It was the late griffin’s gray feather.  Planning strategy, Flanders felt it most needful to swing his mace only one time and not to try to rely upon a second time or a third time.  He must get this one right the first time only.  It was going left, and it was going right, and it was going forward, and it was going backward.  And even as it was going downward, a wind would come along, and, lo, it was going back upward.  He felt sweat coming upon his brow now as he sought to prevail over this second target.

Now!  It was the right time!  He must go for it!  And he swung his mace in his right hand in a right to

left swing straight across a couple feet in front of his eyes.  Though he heard silence, he saw destruction.  His mace made no noise when it struck the very light floating large feather,  but it still broke up this most tricky target of all.  And the feather fell to the ground at his feet in a few dozen pieces of feather.  He won!

Then his winged horse lighted back upon the ground, and she said, “Amen, Master!  Amen!”

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“Glory to God!” praised the soldier his Master.

“Now on to the third target,” said the she-horse.  “Which one shall it be for you this next time, Master?”

“I shall choose the steel folding chair,” said Flanders marching back to the storage shed.  And he went in and came out with it, and he put it in the baskets that were upon her back.

“Master, all-star wrestlers take out other all-star wrestlers when steel folding chairs get in the ring.” said Year.

To this, Flanders said, “All-star wrestling is fake; this training exercise is real.”

“You put the chair in my basket folded out,” said the winged horse.

“I need it to be more challenging than if it be folded in, Year,” said Flanders.

“You’re fearless, O Master,” praised Year.

“I must make griffins fear me,” said Flanders.  “Ascend, good girl.”  And Year ascended with the opened up steel folding chair in her baskets.  When she was way up above, she deemed it time to drop this third target of this Descend competition.  And she rolled herself over to her side and all the way around back up again in the air.  And the steel chair began to descend toward Flanders way below, his might mace ready and waiting in his left hand.  It fell long and hard and rapidly.

And Flanders leaped both of his feet up off of the ground, and he swung his mace in his left hand from left to right in an arc above his head, and he crashed the mace of God right into the seat of this steel chair.  Behold, the chair’s seat knocked right out of its hinges and lying about all dented in everywhere about far off to his right side.  And, behold, the rest of the chair all mangled into a bent pile right off near to his left.  And behold hinges and fasteners and caps of chair legs strewn all about in front of him and in back of him.

And Year was coming down now from the sky to congratulate him, “You hit like Beowulf, O Master.”  And she lighted upon the ground and looked at the debris of this third target in awe.

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“I wonder if Beowulf had a mace,” said Flanders.

“It might have been a sword,” said Year.

“He fought dragons,” said Flanders.

“Beowulf was not real, Master,” said the white she-horse.

“Target number four, girl,” said Flanders.  And he went back into the storage shed, and he picked out a long-handled ax with a double-blade, and he came back out to show her.

“Is that the target, or is that the weapon?” asked Year.

“I wonder why God did not make this to be my griffin-slaying weapon instead,” said Flanders about this ax.

“It looks like it would do better with felling trees than with knocking griffins out of the sky,” said the winged horse.

“It is an ax, but not a battle ax, Year,” confessed the Christian soldier.

“Keep the mace for knocking griffins out of the sky, Master,” said Year.

And Flanders Nickels went about to fasten this wood ax along the side of his winged horse’s neck with her rope.  “Ascend!” commanded Flanders.  “And at the right time, pull on the rope with your teeth, and the ax will come loose and descend.”

“I pray that your mace hits it before it hits you, Master,” said Year.  And Year ascended, this fourth target carried up with her in this rope.

“God is with me in training and in battle,” said Flanders, confident in his faithful Lord.

And when she was sufficiently high up above, she pulled this rope loose from along her shoulders and neck, and the ax came falling down toward Flanders, his mace in both hands in front of himself and down between his knees.  At first, as he watched upward, the long wooden handle of this target wavered about and shook the metal head below in an unpredictable route of descent.  But as it picked up speed and drew close, the ax evened out into a straight down free fall with neither shaking of

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handle nor spinning of double-bladed head.  Then Flanders acted quickly.  With both hands holding his mace down in front of himself where he stood, he brought this mace upward in an underhand swing up to just above his head.  And he did so with the precise timing of a seasoned veteran.  Clash!  The three steel spiked balls clashed hard into the head of the falling ax.  And the ax head broke right off of the ax handle and flew back behind Flanders and fell to the ground somewhere in the weeds a hundred feet away.  And the ax handle was forced hard into the ground a hundred feet away out in front of him.  Flanders turned back to see the head of the ax, but he could not see it from where he stood.  He turned around to see the handle, and, lo, only six inches of the ax handle remained above ground; the rest of  the three feet of handle was stuck into the earth.  Then Year lighted beside him.  They went looking for the broken off head of the ax, but neither master nor pet could find it again.

“Master, if you hit a griffin like that, he would be the most dead griffin ever killed,” said Year.

“If I hit a griffin like that, two griffins would have been dead,” said Flanders.  “My wrists hurt from that blow.”

“You cannot quit yet, Master,” said the winged she-horse.  “You promised me that we would play with five targets this time.  You have to pick your last target for the day.”

“I’ll let you decide this time, girl,” said Flanders.

“Do I get to pick my favorite from the shed, Master?” asked Year.

“Yes, pick your favorite target as the training partner,” said the soldier.

“A bale of hay,” she said.  “A bale of hay all bound up in wire,”

“Do you wish to ascend with it in your teeth or with the rope?” he said in jest.

“Master, Master, a bale of hay requires the baskets,” she said in mock-rebuke.

Both laughing, Flanders took the bale of hay and set it in her baskets.  And he said, “Ascend, O good white horse, and do let descend the bale of hay.”  And she did so.  And a hay bale began to fall down toward Flanders, his mace in his right hand and his left hand empty and waiting.  And it fell like

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a diving gray griffin in a charge of battle in its pursuit of demolition of Christ and Christian.  Nothing of this day fell so quickly and so heavily as this bale of hay.  And it was almost upon his open raised left palm.  Then Flanders swung his mace in his right hand in a left swing toward his left hand, and he turned his left palm to face himself.  And he caught this hay bale most adroitly between his mace and his fingers of his left hand.  It sounded like a punch by George Foreman or Rocky Marciano in the ring.

And, behold, the bale was completely devastated by this mighty mace.  The wires were all cut and torn off.  All of the straw of this bale came apart every last piece.  And it began to “rain hay” all around Flanders in this section of yard.  Then Year lighted upon the ground.  And they watched the last of this smitten straw descend upon the ground.

“Truly your grand finale, Master,” said Year, her equine eyes large in wonder.

“I hurt my hand,” said Flanders, holding up his left hand.

“Just think how hard you hurt the hay bale, O Master, and your left hand won’t feel so bad,” said his winged she-horse.

“I think that it feels better already, girl,” he said.

“Poor next gray griffin who comes along to try hurt your girlfriend, Master,” said Year.

“He shall feel God’s mace,” promised the Christian soldier.

And today’s war games came to their end.  And master and winged horse sat down to rest and to

talk about this mace of God given to Flanders to serve God.

“I was sent from God to find my mace the day after Tracy and I began dating,” said Flanders in reminiscence.  “You were with me.”

“I was the one who brought you there,” said Year.

“It was a most remote place at that,” said Flanders.  “Most odd where it was.”

“The sign said, ‘The Foundry For God.  Proprietor: The Founder For God,’” said Year.

“It was between the United States and Canada, and it was between Lake Superior and Lake

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Huron, and it was between Michigan and Ontario,” said Flanders Nickels.

“Not only that, Master,” said his she-horse. “But it was right between Sault Saint Marie of the United States and Sault Saint Marie of Canada,”

“And the most supernatural island that it was on above the waters,” said Flanders.  “This foundry was between the Earth and Heaven.”

“Indeed between the waters and the skies,” said Year.

“And you knew about it and told me,” said Flanders.  “And God told me to go there.  And we went.”

“You did not know then why God had sent you there, Master,” said his white winged horse.  “I knew that this supernatural foundry worker made supernatural weapons for the cause of Christians.”

“You never told me then, girl,” said Flanders.

“I thought that it would be good for you to find out when we got there.” said Year.  “God wanted to see if you would step out in faith and go on this journey with me without knowing anything about what God desired for you.  And you went right away.”

“I did at that, Year,” said Flanders.  “I had to cancel my first rendezvous with my new cheerleader girlfriend to go on this journey for God.”

“You had to postpone your second date with Miss Majesty for God,” said Year another way.

“That I did do,” said Flanders Nickels.

“And there it was—a celestial demesne way above us where I was flying over the waters with you on my back, O Master,” said his she-horse.  “And I flew up to it.  It must have been a mile above sea level.  And I lighted upon its boardwalk.  And Pegasus himself came out of the gate and said, ‘Welcome, visitors, to God’s Foundry, whose proprietor is God’s Founder.’

Then you said, ‘The Good Lord has sent me here on a mission, good Pegasus.’

Then Pegasus said, ‘Are you a born-again believer, sir?’

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And you said, ‘Yes, I am.’

Then Pegasus said, ‘Are you living for God?’

And you said, ‘Yes, I am.’

Then Pegasus said, ‘Do come into the Foundry and meet the Founder.’”

Here in these reminiscences in his backyard with Year, Flanders said, “And I came into the Foundry, and I met the Founder.  And he also asked me if I were a born-again Christian and if I were living for Jesus.  And I said, ‘Yes,’ to both of his questions, also.  Then he went away for a long while to a backroom far away.  I was waiting for quite a while.  Then he came back up to me with a most formidable weapon in his hand.  He told me, ‘I found it, sir.’  And he held it out to me.  It was this.”

And Flanders held up his mace here in the backyard in indication.  And the Founder of this Foundry told me, ‘Flanders, this is your mace from God.  With this mace, you are called of God for now on to be a mighty griffin-slayer.  You will become famous in Wisconsin and in all the Midwest of America.  But do not slay any other demons with this than griffins.  And do not slay any griffins that are not gray griffins with this.  And the time will come when you will have to contend against the knight of the gray griffins with this.  But above all else, keep alive and well and safe God’s daughter Tracy with this.  You have found a cheerleader girlfriend.  Protect her from all gray griffins.  And great will be your reward in Heaven.  Go now and train and fight and slay with this with the same dedication and faithfulness and

steadfastness as you had giving out tracts and winning souls with your church brethren, O Flanders.

Then this Founder For God sang the song, ‘Onward, Christian Soldiers’ for me.  And my ministry as

gray-griffin slayer had begun.”

“And the first thing you did when you got back to De Pere, Master, was to go on your belated rendezvous with the unsaved cheerleader girlfriend.”

“And soon after, the gray griffins began their war against me and her,” confessed Flanders.

“God does not make mistakes,” said Year.

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CHAPTER IV

The four fellow shippers in the Lord were playing “football” out in Flanders’s front yard—master and winged horse and mistress and winged unicorn.  And they had established most unorthodox rules far from the rules of the N.F.L. for the good of their game.  In their football, Flanders and Tracy always played offense for the whole game, and Decade and Year always played defense for the whole game.  And there were neither losers nor winners in these football games.  Here, the football field was one hundred feet long by fifty-three-and-one-third feet wide, and the end zones were ten feet deep.  There were no chalk marks that delineated anything whatsoever upon this football field.  The four corners of the end zones were displayed by way of red cones.  There was no game clock.  The “football

players” played until one wanted to quit.  There were no officials, and there were no rules; anything went.  There were no quarters or halftimes in this football here in the front yard.  And instead of having four downs to gain ten yards for another set of downs, the offense had to score in four downs—either by way of touchdown or by way of field goal in this short little football field.  A touchdown was worth

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six points, and an extra point was worth one point, and a field goal was worth four points.  In an extra point attempt or field goal attempt, Tracy stood on the far side of the end zone and raised her arms up at  ten o’clock and two o’clock, and Flanders, from the line of scrimmage, free kicked the football like a punter: of course, if the ball went between Tracy’s two raised arms, even if way above her arms, the kick was successful.  As one can tell, this football game had no punts and no turnovers and no turning over on downs.  But it did have safeties, and these were worth three points for the defense.  The defense played football as winged equines can do, and the offense played football as a little guy and a tall gal can do.  And Flanders called all the plays.  And sometimes he had her to be the quarterback for the play, and sometimes he had himself to be the quarterback for the play.  Their running game was often held in check by their pets’ greater mass and greater speed.  And their passing game was at a disadvantage with their pets flying around in the air.  And in some of their games the defense scored more points than did the offense, even though the only way the defense could score was with safeties.

As the two people played football against these two powerful equines, neither person wore helmets or pads or any other protective football clothing.  Instead, Flanders played in his blue jeans and cotton shirt and penny loafers, and Tracy played in her full cheerleader uniform.  But there was one thing that was all-N.F.L. in this football game made up by amateurs—and that was the official N.F.L football that Flanders got from a rummage sale in Green Bay.

“Play ball!” declared Flanders, and the four gamesters began today’s game.  It was first down and one hundred feet to go for Flanders and Tracy.  Flanders was the quarterback for this play, and Tracy was the center.  “Hut!” said Flanders, and his cheerleader girlfriend hiked him the ball, extra careful not to muff the snap with her long pleats getting in the way.  Flanders backpedaled five feet into  his own end zone for a passing play, and Tracy threw herself into Year who was standing there, herself needing next to go out for the pass.  But when the girl hit the still winged horse, the girl fell hard immediately right upon her bottom.  And Tracy was far from open for the pass.  Then Decade lifted up

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off the ground and flew in upon Flanders.  Flanders scrambled desperately off to his right, and Decade missed him.  Tracy shook the daze out of her head and got back up and ran ten feet downfield and waved her arm.  And Flanders threw a perfect spiral right toward her.  Lo, year reared up and batted the  ball out of the air with her front hoof.  And first down was an incomplete pass.

It was now second down and one hundred feet to go for the two people.  Flanders called this play with Tracy as the quarterback and with himself as the center.  It was going to be another passing play.  “Hike!  Hike!” said Tracy.  And he snapped her the ball and ran out for a screen pass to the right.

Neither equine rushed the quarterback this time.  Instead they both flew right alongside of Flanders in his passing route, one to his right, and one to his left.  Safe in the pocket, the girl threw an unsafe pass.

It was a lame duck.  And Decade had to separate himself from the receiver to get to the ball.  And he flew right up to where the ball was dropping ten feet short, and he swiped at the ball with his unicorn horn just before it hit the ground, and with his horn did bat it way out of the field.  Second down was another incomplete pass.

It was now third down and one hundred feet to go for Flanders and Tracy.  Flanders decided to call a running play this time.  He stood behind his center.  Tracy was singing a hymn.  “Hut!  Hut!” he said.  She snapped him the ball.  And he ran an end run to the left.  The cheerleader was supposed to block two equines by herself.  Decade picked her up with his unicorn horn and tossed her off to the side.  And Year ran as if in a stampede in most fleet pursuit of the running back.  Year did string out the running quarterback to the sidelines without letting him go north.  And when he got to the sidelines, she butted him with her head against his back, and he fell down hard on his chest out of bounds.  The ball popped right out of Flanders’s hands and back into the field of play.  But the play was already dead, because he had been thrown out of bounds.  And Flanders was sore all over.  But he got back up.  So, too, now, did sore Tracy.  The two pets were just getting started.  Third down was a run for no gain.

It was now fourth down and one hundred feet to go.  In the huddle Tracy said, “Let’s try a field

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goal.”

But Flanders said, “I think that I hurt my kicking leg in that last play.”

“Could I try to kick this time, Flanders?” she asked.

“Can you kick for a hundred feet, Tracy?” he asked.

“I can kick for fifty feet,” she said.

“We better try another running play,” he said.

“Can I run this time, Flanders?” she asked.

“I think we need that right now, Tracy,” he said.  “How fast can you run?”

“We cheerleaders run like deer,” she said.

“You will be the running back then, girl,” he said.

And Tracy lined up behind Flanders at the line of scrimmage on their own goal line.  “Hike!” said Tracy Majesty, and Flanders hiked her the ball.  This time it was Flanders who had to try to block two large enhanced horses for the running back.  He threw all of his body toward the two animals to try to block both of them at once.  But they simply ran around him in their pursuit of Tracy, and he fell down on his face having missed both of them right in the middle.  Tracy ran the run up the middle as he had called for her to do.  But this middle had two formidable horses coming right into her in the backfield.  The woman had no place to go.  There was no daylight for this running back.  Flanders had not opened up a hole for his teammate.  And he-unicorn and she-horse crashed into the girl where she stood in awe in her own end zone.  And she was tackled for a safety most forcefully and abruptly.

For Flanders Nickels and Tracy Majesty this first drive was a four-and-out.  And now Decade and Year had three points to Flanders’s and Tracy’s zero points.  The master and mistress had gotten off to the worst possible start they could in this day’s football game.  And the he-pet and she-pet at once dominated this day’s game.  And the animals continued their dominance here in Flanders’s football field at the expense of their most amateur owners.  And today’s game got worse for Flanders and Tracy.

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At the end, Tracy said, “I make a better cheerleader than I do a football player.”

And Flanders went on to say, “And I make a better soldier than I do a football player.”

Yet Year and Decade declared, “Play ball!”  But master and mistress conceded.  And in much mirth and gaiety, Year and Decade declared themselves the winners.  And this fun football game ended in mutual consent.

“How do you feel, Mistress?” asked Decade after this most physical game.

“Like a cheerleader who gets tossed in the air, but does not get caught by her other cheerleaders and goes and hits the ground,” said Miss Majesty.

“Ouch,” said Decade.  “I think that I play football too hard.”

“We need to play again real soon,” said the cheerleader girlfriend, nonetheless, happy for this fun game they had played.

“And how do you feel, Master?” asked Year, after having played this rigorous full-contact game.

“Like I have taken on two griffins at once in battle, girl,” said Flanders.

“You never fought two of them at once before,” said Year.

“And I hope never to do so,” he said.

“I didn’t mean to hit you so hard,” said Year.

“But it was fun for me,” said Flanders.  “Next time we two will beat you two.”

“How about you, Decade?” asked Tracy.  “How do you feel?”

“I feel like playing again, O Mistress” he said most succinctly with a clever glint in his eyes and a telltale nodding of his horn.

“You are not sore anywhere?” asked the cheerleader girl.

“I am slightly winded from my much running after you both,” teased Decade. “But I do not feel sore anywhere.”

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“How about you, Year?” asked Flanders Nickels. “Are you sore anywhere?”

“Nope, Master.  Nope,” replied Year.

“Are you winded any?” asked Flanders.

“Some,” she said. “I could play again right now, though.”

“Year, you’re too much,” teased her master.

“Am I too much, also, Mistress?” asked Decade.

And the cheerleader said, “Yes, Decade.  You are too much, also.”  And the four laughed out loud.

Just then a gloomy shadow passed across the sun, and the sun was darkened.  Then the shadow passed by, and the sun was bright again.  Tracy and Decade looked at each other, but did not look up into the sky.  Tracy said, “I pray that it be a tawny griffin.”

“That it be not a gray griffin,” agreed her he-unicorn.

Flanders picked up his mace from beside himself on the ground and did stand up and did look up.  “It looks gray,” said Flanders.

Looking up herself, Year said, “It is one of them.  It is a gray griffin.”

And a screeching as if from hell came down upon them from above.  The gray griffin spotted them and rebuked them, “In the name of Lucifer I do curse you!”

At once Flanders spun his mace above his head, ready for battle in the Lord.  And he rebuked this evil gray griffin, “In the name of Jesus, prepare to die!”

And the four beheld this mighty evil creature descend to the ground in a spiral.  And he lighted and stood before them.  His eagle head was higher than Decade’s head with his unicorn horn.  His eagle eyes were more piercing even than Year’s horse eyes. His eagle beak was more dangerous than a knife.  His front eagle legs with their eagle claws lifted up and set back down as he stood there; they could carry a woman in the air.  His lion chest had a rib cage larger than that of a dairy cow.  His lion belly

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could swallow a teenage boy.  His back lion legs could carry away a horse; these also stamped the ground where he stood.  And his lion tail moved about like a snake, menacing and intimidating mortals.

And this griffin was all solid gray throughout.  He had been sent here by the knight to get the cheerleader and her boyfriend.  And he was not supposed to come back home to the knight without the young Christian woman living and the young Christian man dead.  This gray griffin was a demon.  And he was at war against Christ.

And this gray griffin demon spoke and said, “My name is PipeWrench.  Christian fellow, I am come to wrench you from the living.  Cheerleader lady, come back with me to the knight.”

Flanders nodded his head in defiance of this griffin’s threat.  Tracy shook her head in denial of this griffin’s proposition. The unicorn brandished his unicorn horn.  The winged horse unfurled her wings and stood there.

And Flanders said to PipeWrench, “You look to be an instructor professor griffin.”

“I am an instructor professor griffin indeed,” said PipeWrench.  That meant that he was of the lowest order of the five gradients of gray griffin hierarchy.

“Instructor, I ask you now to leave and go back from where you have come,” said Flanders.

“I will leave you as soon as the cheerleader gal gives up,” said PipeWrench.

“I will not give up.  Go away.  Say, ‘By already,’ to that ugly knight,” cried out Miss Majesty.

She had never seen this knight’s face.

Flanders said, “You shall not leave me then until your carcass lies upon this ground, instructor griffin.”

“If you insist, I shall leave you when your four carcasses lie upon this ground,” said the gray griffin.

“If you bring back not back the woman with you to your master’s castle, he will be disappointed,” said Flanders.

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“My enemy,” said the gray griffin addressing Flanders,  “I can bring back home the woman to my master either alive or dead.  Either way he will be happy.  She can please him just as well dead as alive.”

“You terrible beast!” screamed out Tracy, understanding the griffin’s inferences.

“I think that I have heard enough from you, O devil,” exclaimed Flanders.

“And I think that I am ready for a good fight, O Flanders, son of God,” said the gray griffin.

At once the young Christian fellow gave orders:  “Tracy, run for your life!  Year, stay near and pray.  Decade, run with my girlfriend and flee and carry her away from the griffin were I to perish in this battle.”  The three promptly obeyed the young man of God.  And battle between good and evil began for the Christian soldier once again here with his mace.

Flanders held out his mace in front of himself in his right hand, his weapon from God ready to strike.  The instructor professor griffin held out his eagle claws in front of himself, ready to grab a hold of Flanders’s person, his beak ready to peck into Flanders’s head were he to contain him thus.  The griffin looked upon the mace in that right hand.  Flanders noticed his foe’s gaze, and he moved his mace to his left hand.  The gray griffin then stared at that left hand.  Woe!  Flanders had given away the secret that he was ambidextrous with his mace of God.  As griffin and Christian warrior sought to feel out each other’s strategy in this battle to the death,  Flanders noticed how the griffin kept both of his eagle claws near each other as the two soldiers parried with movements with no blows.  Flanders had to make the griffin less effective with his eagle talons.  Meanwhile the griffin had to take away Flanders’s use of his mace in his hands.  The foe for good could use either the right hand or the left hand to strike down upon the griffin with his mace.  PipeWrench, being a small griffin, all it could take to slay him could be one blow upon his little head with that mace. He must grab a hold of his mace hand, whether it were the right hand or the left hand.  The gray griffin must grab the wrist of the hand that was holding that mace at that time.  And he must do so before Flanders got the first blow in.  Once he subdued the

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use of that mace, then he could strike with his beak and take out the man of God once and for all.  All it would take would be a few pecks, and Flanders’s head would break open.  And God’s famous griffin slayer would no longer be doing God’s work for forever.  But the man was wiser than the griffin.  And the man planned a daring strategy and did carry it out.  He held out his mace now once again in his right hand this time farther out than his open left hand.  And the griffin, with both eagle claws next to each other and reaching out, did go ahead and grab this right wrist in both claws in all eight of their talons.  And he began to squeeze in on Flanders’s right wrist in order to make him drop his mace onto the ground.  This was exactly what the man had hoped that the gray griffin would do.  The worst thing for the man for the griffin to do would have been for the griffin to grab his right wrist in one claw and to grab his left wrist with the other claw and thereby then to squeeze unto submission.  With his powerful eagle legs, he could have done so were he to have performed this strategy.  But with the way the gray griffin was reaching out with his claws right side-by-side and right close to each other, it had looked to Flanders that this gray griffin was not thinking of using them independently, but rather collectively.  Surely this griffin was focusing on one of the man’s arms and not both of the man’s arms at once.  And PipeWrench fell for it.  He used all of his eagle legs all on Flanders’s right arm as it held his mace and none of his eagle claws upon the left arm that held not the mace.  All eight talons of the griffin put the mighty squeeze upon Flanders’s wrist that held God’s mace.  Flanders’s left arm free, he reached over with his left hand and did grab the mace out of his right hand into his left hand and did swing the mace with his left hand down upon the head of the little gray griffin not once, but twice.

The gray griffin let go of Flanders’s right wrist, squeaked out an exhalation, and fell down dead at his feet.  Flanders rubbed the pain out of his right wrist as he stood there, once again triumphant in the Lord.

And Year finished her prayers.  And Tracy and Decade came running back, praising and thanking God.  And all four hugged in the Lord and did rejoice in his victory of this day.  Tracy said,

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“’The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him.’  Nahum 1:7.”

And Flanders also quoted due appropriate scripture of what just happened, “’Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.’  Jeremiah 33:3.”

“What can we do with the dead griffin stinking up your yard, Flanders?” asked the cheerleader girlfriend.

“My sister-in-the-Lord and my girlfriend,” said Flanders.  “Do not forget God’s faithfulness.”

Remembering what God did with that last griffin carcass from that last battle and remembering the faithfulness of God with all of those dead griffin carcasses with Flanders as her rescuer all of those other times, she said, “All we need to do is to call upon the Holy Spirit’s winds of zephyr.”

“Let us do that, Tracy,” said Flanders Nickels.

And the cheerleader girlfriend called upon the Holy Spirit to clean up this front yard from its dirty dead demon.  And the cleansing winds of God’s supernatural zephyr came upon them here in this yard.  And this cleansing wind blew upon the demon’s carcass, and it did disintegrate this dead gray griffin into a cloud of dust, and it did blow all of this dust away, and it did leave not one speck of dust of griffin behind.  God cleaned up from the battle in this manner.

And the four had a prayer meeting right then to thank the Good Lord for all that He had done for them this day.

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CHAPTER V

Why were these gray griffins coming after the cheerleader girlfriend?  Who was this knight who did send them after her?  Why did God take away Flanders’s soul-winning ministry to instead commission him to become the famous griffin slayer?

It is written, “Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.”  John 8:34.   And Tracy Haley Majesty had pursued sin with utter tragic curiosity one night with a demon.  She had not yet found Christ as personal Saviour when she did it.  Nor had she had that first date yet with Flanders when she did it.  Nor was she then above the age of consent when she did it.  Nor had she found her hero Jami Waite yet when she did it.  Nor was she then the virtuous cheerleader of high school when she did it.

The cheerleader Christian thought upon this now in prayer, alone now with God in the porch of night on the porch swing and with the light off.   Here at home with Mom and Dad as she thought upon these things, the lights of the dining room that shone through the window between this porch and the inside of the house gave her comfort.  She looked off toward the yard, and she saw the white full moon

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shining down upon the dark wet green grass of lawn and reflecting off of the nighttime dew, and God her Creator gave her comfort.  Sin reaps a harvest.  And the fruit of her doings of that one day as a lost girl, though forgiven at conversion, she had to still endure in Christ.  She had repented fully to the uttermost.  And God knew that she was sorry, even though she had never told him that she was sorry.

She had made a bad decision and had to live with it.  And she dutifully submitted all to God now that she was a born-again believer.  And God provided her with a most wonderful boyfriend to protect her from those griffins and that far-away knight.  And she deferred to God and thanked Him every day for

Flanders.   It was her fault that he had to fight battles as a teen-age boy for her.  God and Christian boyfriend were good.

It is written, “From whence come wars and fightings among you?  Come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?  Ye lust, and have not:  ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain:  ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.  Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.”  James 4:1-3.

Alone with God here in prayers and remembrances in the back porch, Tracy paused to reflect upon King David’s similar sin in II Samuel chapters eleven and twelve.  David also knew what it was like in pursuit of lust and to suffer from its consequences.  David was supposed to go out for battle for his nation Israel.  It was the time for wars.  But he chose to stay home in his comfortable palace, and he sent out his general Joab to fight the Ammonites in his place.  Safe from battle, but not safe in the Lord’s will, David stepped out onto his roof.  Lo, a woman taking a bath in her female bareness off not far away from the castle.  David could not help that first look.  But he could help that second look.  And he did take a third look.  And lust filled his insides.  David saw; David desired; David took.  Hence the lust of the eyes by definition.  He saw the woman; he desired the woman; he took the woman.  Her name was Bathsheba.  And he summoned her to him and did commit adultery with the woman that very night.  This woman already had a husband whose name was Uriah the Hittite, and he was one of

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David’s mighty men of his army.  Uriah this night was away from home, fighting the Ammonites with Joab.  David himself, being the King of Israel, already had many wives all his own; why did he go and steal this man’s wife Bathsheba away from him like this?  But the sin was committed.  And the woman went back home.  And David thought nothing more of it.  Everything seemed okay for David anyhow.

But not long later, a messenger came from Bathsheba telling David, “I am with child.”  David was suddenly in a rut.  Now he might be found out.  He had to get rid of Uriah.  Trick after trick failed for David to entice Uriah to leave the battle to go home and enjoy his wife as wife.  Finally David ended up making Joab put Uriah in the battle’s most dangerous place where he could die in battle.  And Uriah was put in the fiercest fighting, and he died in battle.  David had now committed the sin of murder.  And his sins were about to find him out.  But, once again, David felt okay and that everything would be all right for him.  He went ahead and married the lonely widow Bathsheba.  And life was smooth and easy for David.  And nothing would go wrong for him.  And no one would find out what he had done.

Lo, his wise prophet Nathan came up to him and said in wise accusation from God, “Thou art the man!”  King David was the man who had committed adultery with Bathsheba.  And right away everybody in Israel found out about it.  Nathan went on to say about this great sin to David, “…thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme…”  In sincerity and penitence, King David repented and apologized and got right with God again.  But he had to reap the awful harvest of the sins he did commit.  And right away the baby born unto him from Bathsheba was struck dead by God.  But this harvest did not end with just this one tragic death.  Nay, death and turmoil

and bad things were to happen to David and to his family for the rest of his life.  First David’s son Amnon raped his half-sister Tamar, David’s daughter.  Then Absalom, a son of David, and a full brother to Tamar, slew his half-brother Amnon.  Then David estranged himself from Absalom, and when Absalom wanted to reconcile, David did not.  And from this Absalom practiced subterfuge and stole the hearts of the people from King David, and he had a revolt against King David for the throne of Israel.

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With a little help from God, David’s rebel son Absalom got his much hair caught in a great oak tree, and his mule he was riding kept on riding past, and Absalom was helpless.  Joab found out and killed Absalom where he was hanging.  And David wept in a father’s favoritism, saying, “Would God that I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!”  All of these family evils had happened unto good King David because of his sin with Bathsheba and with Uriah.  He had lost more than he had gained.

And adultery had not been worth it.

In prayers of much soul-searching here on the porch swing of night, the cheerleader knew where for herself it had all begun.  It was all from a picture in a celebrity magazine that Tracy had checked out from the library.  It was a color photograph of a movie that was coming out to the theaters.

There were two people in that photograph—the actor Tom Cruise and the actress Rebecca De Mornay.

Miss De Mornay’s face exuded with a far from innocent look to it.  And the girl Tracy was instantly taken by it.  She wanted to look just like her.  Maybe she really wanted to be just like her.  She wanted to find out all about her.  Young Tracy paused to ponder this look of Rebecca in that picture.  Her expression with the glimmer in her eyes and with her head cocked to the side and with the curve of her lips was a mystery to innocent Tracy Majesty.  Maybe it was sultry.  Maybe it was naughty.  Maybe it was a temptation to all the guys.  But Tracy first discovered a brand new thing, and she came upon so great curiosity about what Rebecca was thinking about with her head right up against the guy’s head.

The young cheerleader read the article and found out that it was about the movie called, “Risky Business.”  The return date for the magazine came for Tracy, and she had to bring it back to the library.

But before she brought it back, she went ahead and tore out the pages about this movie to keep for herself at home, and she sneakingly returned the remains of the magazine without getting discovered.

Innocent Tracy had just stolen.  Alone with her best friend Jenny in her room one night, she went ahead and showed her Rebecca De Mornay’s picture, and she asked, “Jenny, what does that face tell you?

I do not know what it is about.  But I want to find out all about it, whatever it is.”

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Her best friend Jenny looked at it, and she said, “It looks like the face of sex.”

“Is that why she looks that way?” asked Tracy.

“Why, this is about that movie that’s out.  Isn’t it?” asked Jenny.

“I think so, Jenny,” said Tracy.  “Let’s go and see it together.”

“No!  Do not go and see that movie, Tracy,” urged Jenny.  “It is a bad movie.  It is rated ‘R.’  We girls are not supposed to go see “R’ movies.”

Now Jenny was a devout and good born-again Christian.  And she heard bad things about this movie “Risky Business.”  And Jenny would not be one to go see this movie.  And she urged her best friend Tracy to not sneak off and see it.

“But her face looks like it is having fun,” said Tracy Majesty.

“Tracy, can’t you see that that is the face of a seductress?” asked good Jenny.

“I want to see the kind of fun that that face is looking for, Jenny!” yelled Tracy.

“It is not the kind of fun one is supposed to watch happen on the theater screen, O Tracy!” cried out godly young Jenny.

“I’m curious like I have never been curious before. O Jenny!” yelled the young cheerleader.

“That curiosity must be explained by a mother and a father alone with their child,” said Jenny.

“Mom and Dad did tell me something, but that was before I was old enough to need to hear it,” said stubborn Tracy.  “But now I’m older, and I’m getting excited about it.  And a girl like me needs her curiosity to be satisfied.  I will go and see all of it happen at the theater, whether you want me to or not.”

“God does not approve, and I do not approve,” said Jenny.

“All that matters for me is to see that face when it gets what it is asking for,” said Tracy.

“Even if if hurts our friendship, Tracy?” asked Jenny.

“Even if if wrecks our friendship, Jenny,” declared the foolish young cheerleader.

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“Trace,’ I will not go and see that movie with you,” said Jenny.

“Then I shall go and see that movie without you!” yelled Tracy.

“I’ll be praying for you,” promised Jenny.

“Don’t!” hollered Tracy.

“Do you want me to go away?” asked Jenny.

“I want you to go away,” said Tracy.

And Jenny went away from Tracy.  And Tracy got into the theater.  And Tracy watched the bad movie with great and novel delights start to finish.  That pretty woman with the mysterious countenance was a prostitute named “Lana.”  Rebecca de Mornay played the call girl Lana.  And Lana taught the young and impressionable cheerleader girl things that she should not have learned.  And there she saw it take place on the big screen.  Lana went all the way with Joel on a choo choo train.

And Tracy Haley Majesty was corrupted.  When Tracy went into the theater, she wanted to be just like Rebecca.  But when Tracy left the theater, she wanted to be just like Lana.  This young girl desired

the life of a prostitute.

The next day, Miss Majesty went to the mall to buy the sexiest thing a gal could wear that would entice a man to go after her,  And she found a sleek black one-piece swimsuit.  She put it on.

She felt seductive.  This should do the job.  And she sneaked out of the house in the dark night.   Jenny was not to know.  Mom must not find out.  Dad must not see her thus.  Hopefully a cute guy might see her and want her.  She prayed to God for this.  This was the first time that she had ever asked God for anything.  She felt like she were a born-again believer with this most new faith.  But her life was still some time away before she were to become a born-again believer.  And her faith was not pleasing to the holy God.

This young one-piece swimsuit seductress walked down the highway, having decided to go north, and she looked for a handsome young rider to come along her way.  But she walked and walked,

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and no handsome young man came.  In fact nobody was coming or going down this highway for all this while.  It was after ten o’clock in the night.  Riders were not so numerous in the night as in the day—even on the highway here.  Then she thought that she saw something shining off in the distance ahead of her.  It was coming toward her from the north.  And she watched, and she prayed most generically saying, “Anybody out there, let this become my first.”  She could hear the sound of hooves pounding upon the smooth blacktop.  And this rider drew near.  Behold, a knight in shining armor!  Who better than a knight in shining armor to rescue a damsel in distress like herself?  His horse was even blacker than this deep night of dark.  To get this exciting new man’s attention, Tracy, in her black one-piece swimsuit, shook her hips about in front of him.  And he called forth, “Whoa, Darkness!”  And the black steed stopped in front of the girl.  There sat this handsome knight upon his horse, his visor of his helmet down and covering all of his face and his long lance held out from his right hand, its tip up close to her chest.  This one will do, she said secretly to herself in a frenzy of fervor.

As she swung slowly back and forth upon the porch swing here years later, the virtuous cheerleader of these days relived that one night when she was a most vile maillot goddess.

She took comfort in the lights of the house shining out onto this porch from within.  She looked out onto the darkness of her parents’ back yard and trembled for fear of darkness.  Light was good.  Dark was evil.  Jesus was the light of the world.  Satan was the prince of darkness.  Her cheerleader skirt was  of much white.  Her maillot was all black.  Here as the cheerleader girlfriend, Tracy recited another Proverb passage about harlots from the Bible:  “’For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil:  But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.  Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.’  Proverbs 5:3-5.”  Foolish and wicked black maillot girl!  And the Christian girl remembered more about that lost girl’s quest for the wild night:

The knight’s lance very near to between her breasts, he spoke to her with his visor still down,

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“One-piece swimsuit gal, are you come out into the night for such a thing as that which men do seek from women?”

Looking down at his lance tip close to herself up there, she looked up at him and said in uncertainty now, “Sir, you frighten me.”

“I shall not hurt you, pretty young maillot gal,” he did say through his visor.

“You have your lance right up against me, and you hide your face,” she said in indignation and growing boldness.

“My apologies,” said the knight.  He then lowered the tip of his lance down upon the ground to his side, his right hand holding on to its handle as if it had never let go of the handle before.  But he would not raise his visor to show his face.

“But I cannot see what you look like, sir,” she said, becoming somewhat overconfident.  “I want to see what you look like.”

“A girl cannot see my face,” he said most inexplicably to Tracy.

“Even if she wants to?” asked Tracy.

“Black swimsuit girl, do not ask such a thing of me again,” said the knight.

“Okay, sir,” she agreed.  She would not ask again.  “What is your name?”

“I have not a name, lass,” he said to her.

“But everybody has a name, sir,” she said.

“I do not have a name,” he told her.

“What should I call you then?” she asked.

“Call me the answer to your prayer,” he said.

“I was praying for a cute guy to come around and want me and take me and have me,” she said.

“I would be honored to become your cute guy for the night,” he said to her.

“Would you be my knight for the night?” she asked lasciviously.

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“Indeed, O black one-piece swimsuit woman…all night,” he said.

“Where?” she asked.  “Here?”

“No, maillot goddess, there,” he said, pointing north with his gauntleted left hand.

“Where’s ‘there?’” she asked.

“Come away with me, my fair lady, to my castle,” he said, and he proffered his left hand in its gauntlet.

Seizing this moment of spontaneity, the girl reached out and took a hold of the knight’s hand.

With the strength of a formidable man, the knight lifted his left arm, swooped her off of her feet, and set her down upon his black horse behind himself.

“Giddy-up, O Darkness,” said the knight in haste.

This virile knight was excited over Tracy as Joel was excited over Lana.  And feminine Tracy felt toward the knight as Lana felt for Joel.  Was the first time the best?  Did it get better the second time?  How good was the third time?  Oh, the happy life of promiscuity!  She thought about never leaving this brave new castle of her knight’s ever.  She could maybe even become his wife someday.

How new worlds were opening up for Tracy Majesty now that she was a girl coming into womanhood.

She could tell that this knight would never want her to leave him.  He would be loyal to her.  He would be kind to her.  He would fall in love with her.  He would never hurt her.  He would never betray her.

He would be ever-faithful only to her for the rest of their lives together.  And he would make her happy.

And she would make him happy.  And they would live like a good fairy tale, living happily ever after.

But after a long moment of fierce galloping of hooves, the knight said to her most indicatively,

“You will become my property once we join in the flesh.”

Suddenly the harsh and horrible side of the life of prostitutes struck home to the loose and seeking young lady.  This was the wrong man for such a girl as she!  The life of a call girl was an

unhappy and desperate existence for any woman!   She had to escape this knight before they got to

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his castle!  No other woman had been more right than righteous Jenny!  No other woman had been more wrong than unrighteous Tracy!  How she needed to renounce her black one-piece swimsuit and to

return to her cheerleader uniform.  Tracy Majesty had to get away right away!

Scared to death of this knight on his black steed, Tracy Majesty now secretly prayed her second prayer in her life to God—this one for God’s mercy.  And, hoping that the knight would not see her, she leaped off of the back of Darkness as Darkness galloped in all speed toward the knight’s home.  The girl fell hard upon the grass at the roadside, and her body rolled over and over in many painful somersaults, and at the last she lay there all sprawled out, sore in all of her muscles and bones.  She thought that she was going to die.  But after a long while, her body felt like it was going to live.

Her head cleared up, and she bolted up to a sitting position to see if the knight were here with her.

The licentious knight was nowhere around her.  He was gone!  He did not know that she had jumped.

And she was free.  He was far away north now.  And she was way back here where he did not know.

Her head and body feeling okay now, Tracy Majesty said a third prayer to God now in her life:

“Thank You, Lord!”

And she escaped back to her parent’s house, made up with Jenny, and told Mom and Dad and Jenny of her decision to flee fornication after having first pursued it.  For due punishment, Mom took away her TV and theater privileges for a long time,  and Dad took away her allowance and did ground her to the house also for a long time.  But this was only fair.  And Jenny forgave her.

But that mysterious knight had the power and the wisdom and the vengeance of a powerful demon of the Devil.  And in revenge the knight had gone on to pursue the cheerleader girl by way of his many gray griffins to go after her.  Whether they were sent by the knight to force her back to his castle or whether they were sent by the knight to take her life away from her, Tracy Majesty was not sure. But this great trouble upon her life, brought about by her indiscretion as a lost girl did continue to vex her even into her life now as a saved girl.  And Flanders her boyfriend was also caught in the midst.

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CHAPTER VI

Flanders Nickels and his cheerleader girlfriend were sharing the romance of another of their piggyback ride sprees today.  He was giving his Tracy a piggyback ride on their way to a park down the road not far away.  They were going east down George Street, and this park was at that end of George Street alongside Webster Avenue.  Once there they were going to enjoy fellowship in flirt as only boyfriends-and-girlfriends-in-Christ can do.

“I bet that you wish that you could be a cheerleader, Flanders,” said Miss Majesty.

“Uh huh!  Quite!” he did say.

“Well God ordained me to be the cheerleader, Flanders,” she said.  Then she said, “So sad.  Too bad.  For you.”

“What’s the best thing about being a cheerleader, Tracy?” he asked.

“Wearing this all day every day,” she said, showing her red cuff in front of his face in indication

of the cheerleader uniform she had on right now.

“Then, what’s the second best thing about being a cheerleader?” Flanders did ask.

“Getting up every day and putting it on,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.

“Is there a worst thing about being a cheerleader?” he then asked her.

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“Yeah.  There is,” she said.  “And that is having to take this off every night and going to bed.”

She pressed her skirt pleat against his wrist in indication of the cheerleader outfit she was wearing now.

“What’s the second worst thing about being a cheerleader?” he asked.

“Knowing that sometime you will have to take it off for a little while,” she said.

“A girl’s got to clean her cheerleader’s outfit sometime,” he said.

“Yes, Flanders. Mom runs it through the washer and dryer before every big game,” she said.

“And your mom runs it through the washer and dryer after every big games, Tracy,” he said.

“Amen!  Mom knows how important that is to me,” she did say.

“Tracy, tell me again the true story of how you yourself discovered cheer leading,” he did ask.

“It all started when I was five years old,” said the cheerleader girlfriend, riding Flanders’s back down the sidewalk.

And this was her true tale:  Biggest Brother was playing freshmen football for the De Pere Redbirds.  And one day they visited Pulaski to play the Red Raiders on a Saturday afternoon.  Biggest Brother was the star center for the Redbirds.  And this time when Mom and Dad asked her if she wanted to see her biggest brother play, little Tracy said, “Yes.”  And the Majesty family traveled to Pulaski to see the big game.

And there they were.  Tracy saw them.  She counted fifteen of them.  They were of today’s home team.  They were dressed in wondrous and bright outfits with designs on them.  There were name patches on the sweaters.  There were slats in the skirts.   Gloss maroon and glistening white covered them in garments the likes of which five-year-old Tracy Majesty had never seen before.  The beautiful yellow sun of August afternoon shone down upon these uniforms so majestic and lighted them up with a sheen.  These girls were singing strange new songs never heard before by this little girl, songs that were like magical chants.  These girls were dancing strange new dances that looked like fun personified, dances that were hops and springs and prances and pirouettes and skips.  And they kept

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joining arms and kicking up legs and singing, “Go, Red Raiders!”  And a five-year-old girl was enchanted in a world of good magic.  And she stayed there in front of the little railing, and she stared.

The game had not yet begun.  These fascinating older girls were practicing here before the game.

And more fans were coming in.

One of the fifteen girls saw Tracy staring, and she smiled back at Tracy and did come up to the fence to talk to her.  Somewhat able to read already, Tracy read the chenille name on this girl’s sweater:

“Mary C.”  And Tracy asked, “Mary C., what are you and the others doing in this neat celebrating?”

And Mary C. said, “We’re cheering our team to victory, little girl.”  Mary C. was neither condescending nor arrogant.

“What you are doing is called ‘cheering?’” asked little Tracy Majesty.

“Yes.  Today is our big homecoming game,” said Mary C.

“You are a ‘cheerer,’ then?” asked ingenuous Tracy.

“We are called ‘cheerleaders,’” said Mary C.

“Cheerleaders cheer lead,” said little Miss Majesty.

“That’s a good way to put it,” said Mary C.

“Cheerleaders cheer,” corrected little Miss Majesty her syntax.

“That’s a better way to put it,” said Mary C.

Just then another Pulaski Red Raider football cheerleader came up to them.  Her chenille emblem read, “Annette W.”  “Hi, little girl,” said Annette W.  “Are we cheerleaders doing a good job?”

“This is the most exciting thing I have ever seen, Annette W.” confessed Tracy.  “All of you cheerleaders do great!”

“Would you like to become a cheerleader yourself someday?” asked Annette W.

“It must be the funnest thing in the world to do,” said Tracy.

“It is the fun I have as a high school girl,” said Annette W.

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“And it is more fun for me to cheer us Red Raiders on than it is for my brother to play the game itself for us Red Raiders,” said Mary C.  “And he loves the game.”

“When I grow up, I want to do what you two girls do,” said Tracy Majesty.

“A girl does not have to grow up before she can become a cheerleader, little girl,” said Mary C.

“Junior high schools have cheerleaders, too.”

“And I’d bet that a girl like you can find a cheerleader uniform that fits from any cheerleader fashion catalog,” said Annette W.

“I could get a head start,” said Miss Majesty.

“What’s your name?” asked Mary C.

“I am Tracy Majesty,” said little Tracy.

“Just think, Tracy Majesty,” said Mary C..  “You could have your own chenille emblem—one that would be just the right one for you.”

“It could say, ‘Tracy M.,’” said Annette W.

“’Tracy M.’” mused little Miss Majesty in delights.

And Tracy M., from that moment, daydreamed about dressing and singing and dancing as a cheerleader with the catalyst as of a life dream.

And now here she was, over a decade later, on another date with the cute guy Flanders Nickels, herself his faithful and chaste cheerleader girlfriend-in-the-Lord.

Flanders said, “We lost that game.  Didn’t we?”

“Pulaski won by shutout on their homecoming game.  De Pere did not even score one field goal.

And Biggest Brother fumbled the ball away on a bad snap from scrimmage on the last play of the game,” said Miss Tracy Majesty

“But you did not mind,” said Flanders.

“I did not mind.  I was watching the cheerleaders, instead,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.

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“On the wrong side of the field,” said Flanders.

“Funny how I discovered Red Raider cheerleaders first; and Redbird cheerleaders second,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.

“But you came around, I can see,” said Flanders.

“Go, Redbirds!” cheered Tracy.

“My wonderful head varsity cheerleader,” said Flanders.

“And do you remember what dear Jenny got me for a birthday present when I turned six years old?” asked Tracy.

“I so know, Tracy,” said Flanders.  “It was the first thing you got in your new life dream.”

“What was it?  Do tell me.  I want to hear my handsome boyfriend say it,” said Tracy.

“An autographed picture of Mary C. and an autographed picture of Annette W.,” said Flanders.

“You know me all too well, boyfriend,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.

“I know more, too,” he said.

“Do tell me.  I want to hear you tell me,” she said.

“You have those two photographs taped to your bedroom wall with masking tape right above the bed where you kneel beside in prayer every day.” he said.  “

“Boyfriend, you know lots about me,” she said in kudos of him.  “But the pictures got moved to a new place in my bedroom.”

“Oh yeah,” said Flanders. “Now the pictures are taped on your wall in scotch tape above the desk where you sit and read the Bible every day.  I remember now.”

“Boyfriend, you know everything about me,” said the cheerleader girl.

“You even had Mary C. and Annette W. as pen pals for a little while,” said Flanders.

“You know that, Flanders?” she asked.  “That was almost ten years ago.”

“Nobody knows his cheerleader girlfriend as I do, Tracy,” said Flanders Nickels.  Then the two

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arrived at their destination, the girl still on the boy’s back.  “Ah, Tracy.  We’re here,” said Flanders.  And he stopped his walk.

“The park with a little winding sidewalk, and nothing else,” she said.

“The park with no sign, no name, no picnic table, no garbage can, no playground equipment, no

recycle barrel, no anything else,” he said.  Both laughed.

“But still with lots of nice green grass upon which we believers can sit down with our Bibles and fellowship in Jesus, Flanders,” said Tracy.

“Let’s go and have our fun in this unofficial little park, Tracy,” said Flanders.

And the piggyback rider got off of the piggyback carrier, and both walked about this nice lawn in admiration of God’s creation.  Then they sat down side-by-side and got out their Bibles—Flanders, from his back pants pocket; Tracy, from her little purse.  And they opened their King James Bibles and began their fellowship.

But a subtle demon now stealthily lighted upon the winding sidewalk at the far end of this little park.  It stood there, watching and lurking, unseen by young man and young woman.  And it stood there, planning upon how to do the Devil’s work upon these two born-again Christians.  This was a gray griffin.  He had come to slay and to carry away.  And he decided that it was time now to manifest himself and to kill the son of God and to capture the daughter of God.  And he began to walk toward the two Christians here from there in stalk and in hunt.

Flanders and Tracy saw the gray griffin at the same time.  He was now only ten feet away.  Flanders and his cheerleader both jumped to their feet.  This gray griffin then raised his great wings, and a strong wind came upon the two believers for just a moment.  This was a larger griffin than the one that Flanders had fought last time, but this was a smaller griffin than others that the man had fought in other battles before.  In fear, Miss Majesty grabbed a hold of Flanders’s left arm in both of her arms, and she held on tightly.  Flanders quickly took out his mace from its holster, held up his right hand

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above his head in threatening with this mace, and held out his left hand straight in command to this griffin to not take another step forward.  This griffin paused and did not for now advance another step forward.  Flanders’s arm taken from her arms for her good and for his good, Flanders said, “Run, Tracy!  Run to safety on the other side of Webster Avenue right now!  If something happens to me, at least maybe the busy traffic of Webster Avenue may hinder this demon from getting to you.”  And the girl obeyed the boy.  Now the griffin slayer was alone one-on-one with the gray griffin in this little park.  From the other side of the street, the cheerleader lass stopped, turned around to watch, and began to pray.

And the big bad griffin spoke to her boyfriend, “My name is ‘Chisel,’ and I am a lecturer professor griffin.”  A lecturer griffin was one gradient above the previous griffin’s level, and was a more formidable foe in battle.  That meant that Chisel was the second lowest, the fourth highest, of the five grades of gray griffins that this famous griffin slayer had contended against for God in his many battles.  This lecturer professor griffin could carry away a black bear in his lion paws.  He could tear off a top of a tree with his eagle talons.  He could peck a hole in a rock with his beak.  And he stood taller than the five foot eight inch Flanders.  And his wingspan was greater than the wingspan of either Decade’s or Year’s.

“Why have you come, Chisel?” challenged the soldier of Christ.

“You know,” said Chisel in scorn.

“You shall not slay the griffin slayer, nor shall you bring back to the knight my cheerleader girlfriend,” said Flanders in reply.

“Mortal little man, do you dare try to stop me from my errand?” challenged the lecturer professor griffin.

“Gray griffin demon, do you dare to contend against my God?” gave Flanders fiery rebuttal.  Flanders then began to spin his mace in the air above his head.  And as this took place, sparks and

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the sounds of sizzling electricity emanated from this most fell mace of God.  Though this looked and sounded like a harmless Fourth of July sparkler, griffin and man of God knew that this mace was far from harmless.  Intimidated for this moment, the gray griffin stepped back one step and did falter in uncertainty.  Flanders then stopped this show of force, and Chisel was no longer intimidated.

Then the lecturer griffin, bold and most artful in battle, said, “Man of God, now there is another gray griffin coming down upon your cheerleader girl over there.”

Flanders quickly turned his head to look.  Nay.  There was no gray griffin over there on the other side of Webster Avenue.  It was a trick.  And Flanders felt a vise grip upon the fearsome weapon that he was holding in both of his hands.  What was this?  He turned his head to look before him.  Lo, one of the steel spiked balls of his mace was held onto most powerfully by this griffin’s left eagle claw.

Why, all four talons of this eagle claw were wrapped completely around this spiked ball!  No gray griffin before had ever done such a thing as was doing this instructor professor griffin right now.  Nobody other then the famous griffin slayer had ever touched this mace of God in battle before ever since Flanders had begun this martial ministry.  It was not for demons to touch this weapon made by the holy God.  How dare this gray griffin grab it like this!  But this first such daring strategy by such a griffin from the knight rattled Flanders into confused hesitation.  Acting on instinct, Flanders pulled this mace toward himself with both arms.  And the bigger, stronger griffin pulled this mace toward himself with this one eagle leg.  Flanders should have lost this tug-of-war.  But the mace of God had its own magic within itself, given to it by the Holy Spirit.  And the will of God within this mace had the final say in this tug-of-war on the steel ball with the spikes.  God pulled this weapon’s head out of the grip of the demon griffin.  And as it slid out of the talons of the griffin claw, the steel spikes ripped up that most aquiline appendage in long deep gashes all throughout.  In a screech that went down to Hell, the lecturer griffin betrayed fear and panic.  And he looked down and saw blood coming out of his precious left claw.

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Acting quickly, and wisely seeking to finish Chisel off with a blow from his mace upon his head

before he lost the advantage, Flanders thought to swing his mace above his head and back around in a complete circle in both hands to crash it down upon him to finish him off.

But gray griffins are most resilient and tenacious and brave warriors, despite their indwelling evil of Satan within.  And Chisel never feared a good fight against God.

Before the mace could strike him down, this lecturer griffin, maybe not wise in doing so, quickly reached out to grab a hold of Flanders’s mace of God for a second time.  This time he did so with lifting up his lion leg and grabbing this mace right around its three steel chains in his great and powerful paw of five leonine claws.  Flanders’s swing was stopped in mid air, and his attempt at finishing the griffin off now was foiled. And then, with the strength of many men, Chisel sought to break the metal chains with one squeeze of his strong grasp.  But with the strength of the Lord of hosts,

God made this renowned mace resist the devil again for this second time.  The harder that Chisel squeezed the three steel chains, the more numb his lion claws felt.  But the gray griffin was stubborn.

He kept on holding the mace in his paw.  And soon his whole paw was numb.  He thought to stop squeezing maybe in order to get feeling back in his paw.  So he let up on his grip.  But he still held on.

And yet even now, the longer his paw held on to the three chains, even now that he was no longer squeezing, he felt this supernatural numbness spread slowly all the way up his leg.  He began to think that maybe he should let go.  Or else he might lose feeling throughout all the rest of his body.  He was blind with rage at the Lord.  And he would not let go.  Then his whole lion leg was paralyzed.  And he saw, but did not feel, the mace of Flanders slip out of his five claws.  And Chisel stood there with only one good lion leg and one good eagle leg.

But he still had his good and most loyal eagle beak.  And in his folly, the lecturer griffin sought to attack this invincible mace of the griffin slayer for his third time.  He thought to try to break the mace at its most weak place—that being the long wooden handle with the spiraling strips of leather

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going down it.  Flanders, in understanding and in discernment, saw this griffin battle as the only one of its kind that he had ever fought.  Instead of fighting him, this griffin was fighting his mace.  Flanders could die; but this mace could not die.  In effect, in assaulting the mace instead of the mace wielder, Chisel was assaulting the very Holy Ghost that protected this mace.  And Flanders, the Holy Ghost indwelling him directly, understood this.  The Holy Ghost spoke to Flanders now, saying in His still small voice, “Be still, My son, and know that I am the Lord.”  Flanders knew what God was telling him.  He must let the demon attack his mace for the third time.  And Flanders held out his mace in front of Chisel horizontally, his hands holding both ends of the handle tightly at the level of his own chest.

And the lecturer professor griffin struck down upon the mace with all of his strength in his neck muscles with his deadly eagle beak right into the center part of the proffered wooden handle.

Behold, the beak of Chisel was completely broken off of his face—both top and bottom.  The mace of God was not even scratched.  But the pride of the demon was to his most final undoing.  He no  longer looked like a griffin.  And in shame of his disfigured face, Chisel’s courage failed him.  And the lecturer gray griffin sought flight from battle for his first time.

God said to Flanders Nickels now, “Run and slay, my good and faithful son.”  And Flanders ran after the handicapped fleeing gray griffin and did strike him down to death with one blow from his mace down upon his back.  And the carcass lay there, both hideous and noisome.  Flanders lived.  Tracy was still free.

Flanders turned now back to where Tracy was back across Webster Avenue.  Already she came running back up to be at his side here in the middle of the little park.  He opened his arms in welcome, and she threw herself into his arms in gladness.  They hugged, and he lifted her up in hug, and she was carried around in a circle in hug, and he set her back down in a hug.  Then they finally separated.

“Wooo, Flanders!  What an embrace to give a girl after a fight to the death!” she did say.

“What a way to obey a boyfriend’s orders to stay on the other side of the street until after the

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battle is completely finished,” he said to her.

“I could not wait, O boyfriend,” she confessed.

And boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ laughed in merriment.

“Praise God!” said Flanders Nickels, looking upon the gray griffin carcass.

“What shall we do now, Flanders?” asked the cheerleader girlfriend, also looking at the nasty dead sight.

“All we need to do now is what we always do after a battle with one of them,” said the man of God.

“We can call upon our God, and he will cleanse this park from its evil,” she said.

And Flanders Nickels called upon the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Spirit came in His cleansing winds and took away the demon remains until nothing was left there of the fallen carcass.

“Amen!” praised the cheerleader girlfriend their God.

Flanders then gave a happy Biblical benediction to his beloved cheerleader girlfriend, reciting from the preamble of the book of I Corinthians, “My Tracy, ‘Grace be unto you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ.’”

Responding in like, Miss Tracy Majesty recited a parallel benediction to her dear boyfriend from the preamble of the book of II Corinthians, “Good Flanders, ‘Grace be to you and peace from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ.’”

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CHAPTER VII

Decade and Year were having a pets’ day out together, and they were flying throughout the skies above De Pere, sightseeing and talking about the city.

“Down there is that building that is over a hundred years old, Year,” said Decade.  “Do you see it?”

“That one down there?” asked Year.  “The one with that little white tower in it?”

“Yeah,” said Decade.  “The Colonial Apartments.  At the bottom of the hill and close to the river.”

“De Pere is barely over a hundred years old as a city, Decade,” said Year.  “Why, the Colonial House must have been there before De Pere was.”

“I heard that that little white tower is an elevator shaft,” said Decade.

“Yeah, Decade.  And I heard queer things about that elevator,” said Year.

“Queer things, Year?” asked Decade.

“Things about how that elevator does not go to the second floor,” said Year.

“I see three floors to the Colonial Apartments,” said Decade.

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“Yeah, three floors,” said Year.  “The elevator goes from the first floor up to the third floor or from the third floor down to the first floor.  But it does not give access to the second floor.  The Colonial Apartments do not have a place for the elevator to open out onto its second story.”

“Ha ha ha!” said Decade.

“Didn’t I tell you?” asked Year in mirth.

“The apartment building is boxed in down there,” said Decade.  “The Claude-Allouez Bridge on one side and a ten-foot-high cement wall on the other side.”

“They say that chunks fall out from underneath the bridge,” said Year.

“And one of my mistress’s friends, who lived in that building, had a view of that wall tall and high right outside her windows just a couple feet away,” said Decade.

“Not much to look at from that apartment,” concurred Year.

“It was the apartment in the back on the first floor,” said Decade.

“Did others who lived there see the same thing from their windows?” asked Year.

“No.  In fact in the apartment in the back right above that one had a great view of the Fox River off to the right as one looked out his windows,” said Decade.

“Lucky tenant,” said Year.

“That second story apartment was above that ten foot wall right outside,” said Decade.  “He had a view of the raised parking lot out back.  Odd thing how that second-floor apartment’s view was like unto a ground floor’s view,  looking out onto that elevated parking lot just beyond the ten-foot high wall along its edge.”

“How do you know such things, Decade?” asked Year.

“Another of my mistress’s friends lived in that apartment,” said Decade.

“So many sundry and diverse peculiarities to the Colonial Apartments, and yet it is still the classiest building in De Pere,” said Year.

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“I would not be surprised if that building were older even than the Union Hotel,” said Decade.

“And there’s the Union Hotel down there,” said Year.  “I see the fountains right next to it.”

“At nighttime colored lights light up the sprays,” said Decade.

“Masters and mistresses take their dogs to those fountains,” said Year.  “And the dogs jump right in and refresh themselves in the water on hot summer days.”

“I like that,” said Decade.

“I like that, too,” said Year.

“Sometimes little kids do the same thing,” said Decade.

“Even adults, at times,” said Year.

“Year, do you see Shopko down there?” asked Decade.  “And Olsen Foods next to it?”

“Yes.  My master has a friend that works at Olsen Foods as a carry-out boy,” said Year.  “He told my master, and this is true, that in order to carry his customers’ groceries out to their carriages, he had to cross a busy street just to get to the store’s parking lot from the building.”

“You’re right, now that I think about it,” said Decade.  “I go to Shopko and see the same thing there.”

“Indeed, whoever designed downtown East De Pere at the time designed it so that Wisconsin Street is between the stores there and the stores’ parking lots there,” said Year.

“At least nobody got trampled yet,” said Decade.

“There should be a sign there that says, ‘Look both ways before crossing the street,’” said Year.

“He he he!” said Decade.

“There’s the Hardee’s restaurant, O Decade,” said Year.  “Our master and mistress eat there together lots on their dates.

“I see it,” said Decade.  “My mistress loves their mushroom and Swiss burgers.”

“My master always has three burgers there,” said Year.  “A few years ago he could have three

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burgers for about six and a half dollars total.”

“It is a little more now,” said Decade.

“Not too much more yet,” said Year. “Maybe more so in times to come.”

“The lines at Hardee’s always stretch out of their doors unto the outside,” said Decade.

“And in the summer times, in the outdoor eating area, seagulls want to help the customers eat their meals,” said Year.  “Especially Hardee’s French Fries.”

“I can see that seagulls like people food,” said Decade.

“My master loves seagulls above all other birds of God’s creation,” said Year.

“My mistress loves Bald Eagles,” said Decade.

“Look down there at the corner—The Lamp Shade Shop,” said Year.

“A little store that sells only lamp shades,” said Decade.

“They also fix lamps,” said Year.

“And next to it—F.R.V. Incorporated,” said Decade.  “They sell electronic typewriter ribbons and electronic typewriter correction tapes.”

“Look at all of those different and unique shops on both sides of Broadway Street down there in east De Pere—both North Broadway and South Broadway,” said Year.  “And all of those little businesses have old fashioned apartments on their second floors.”

“My mistress’s teacher lives above the pet store and above the ice cream shop,” said Decade.  “And her upper apartment is twenty-four steps high.”

“Older apartments like those are much more classy than newer apartments in other parts of our fine city, Decade,” said Year.

“And older houses, than newer houses,” said Decade.

“Ah, down there, good friend—112 South Broadway,” said Year.

“Our old church,” said Decade, “before we had our own building.”

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112 South Broadway was the De Pere Senior Citizen Center.  And on Sundays and on Wednesday nights it was rented out to Blessed Hope Baptist Church for their church services.  Those were the old days for Pastor and his flock.  Right next to this church site was a tae kwon doe academy, and sometimes the sounds of kicking interfered with the sermon.  And right below this church site was Paul’s Rathskeller, and sometimes the sounds of “Happy Birthday To You,” interfered with the sermon.

And before the services, Pastor and Emmy and Flanders and Tracy used to set up the chairs for church; and after the services, Pastor and Emmy and Flanders and Tracy used to set up the chairs and tables back again for the senior citizens for the next days.  And outside the large windows one could see the busy traffic of the main street of east De Pere.  Pastor made sure to have the chairs set up as to face the back of the room and not the windows of this room.  On Wednesday Night Bible Study and Prayer Meeting, the women prayed in prayer circles gathered around the back of this room, and the men prayed in prayer circles gathered around in the back supply room farther back in this senior citizen center.  Pastor’s pulpit was a simple black music stand.  And he had a flock of forty people.  And God was there in their church (as He was also now in their new church).

“Let us light upon the roof of 112 South Broadway,” said Year.

“We can reminisce,” said Decade.

And the two winged equines did so.  And they relived how Blessed Hope Baptist Church did step out in faith and buy their own church building with only nine voting members.  When Pastor had talked to the bank president, himself requesting a loan, the bank president asked him, “How are you going to pay this back?” Pastor, in all faith, said, “We serve a mighty God.”  Though the bank president did not know God as Pastor knew God, he took a chance on this fledgling Baptist church and consented.  This empty building was an old Kingdom Hall on the west side of town.  Pastor bargained it down to ninety thousand dollars.  And the church already had twenty thousand dollars saved up in a certificate of deposit.  And in a business meeting the nine members voted unanimously to go for it

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and step out in faith and buy it.  Blessed Hope Baptist Church now had their own building in which to meet and worship, and they had been worshiping there now for over a year.

“Let us go over and see it right now, Decade,” said Year.

This new building in west De Pere was located at 645 Grant Street.

“Year,” said Decade, “let us light upon the roof of 645 Grant Street.”

“Yes.  Let’s,” said Year.

And the two winged equines began to fly over the Fox River to the west side of this little city.

They quickly came up to the Nicolet Paper Mill, some of the factory on the land and some of the factory above the water.  “See that little metal footbridge that goes from that little door of the mill right to the bridge way above the river?” asked Decade.

“The one with the sturdy railing?” asked Year.

“Yes, with the not so sturdy bottom, though,” said Decade.

“Nobody walks across it,” said Year.  “They’re going to condemn it and take it down.”

“Go figure,” said Decade.

“And there’s St. Norbert College,” said Year.  “My master told me something interesting about that college campus.”

“What did he say?” asked Decade.

“He told me that over the years, St. Norbert College has torn down its houses to make parking lots, and then broke up their parking lots to make academic buildings,” said Year.

“That’s called ‘progress,’” said Decade.

“Look how beautiful that campus looks, Decade,” said Year.

“That’s because this is the middle of summer, Year,” said Decade.  “Most of the school year for

St. Norbert’s students is cold winters with their ice and snow and cold.  For the students of St. Norbert’s

in their school year, it only looks like this for perhaps a month in the beginning of the fall semester and

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for a couple weeks at the end of the spring semester.”

“That’s right,” said Year.  “Life for us here in Wisconsin.”

“Do you hear the dam?” asked Decade.

“I hear it way over here even above Main Hall,” said Year, “here in the center of St. Norbert College.”

“One can see the dam from the three dormitories of the east side of the campus,” said Decade.  “But the three dormitories on the west side of the campus one cannot see the dam from.”

“Do you see Abbot Pennings High School?” asked Year.

“There, right in the corner, off of the front and to the right of the college,” said Decade.  “The high school and the college are right next to each other.”

“Do you see a fence down there between the Abbot Pennings’s campus and the river?” asked Year.

“Yes,” said Decade.

“But do you see a fence down there between the St. Norbert’s campus and the river?” queried

Year.

“No. I do not,” said Decade.

“It looks like they are afraid that a high school student may fall into the Fox River, but are not afraid that a college student may fall into the Fox River,” said Year.

“The high school, one building; the college, many buildings,” said Decade in comparison and contrast.

“100 Grant Street is the official address of St. Norbert College,” said Year.

“That means that our new church is only six blocks from here,” said Decade.  And Decade and Year flew up to 645 Grant Street and now lighted upon its roof.

“West De Pere High School right behind us on this side of the street, and VFW Park down the

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road a block on the other side of the street,” said Year.

“West De Pere are the Phantoms,” said Decade.  “My mistress one time told me a funny story of a football game here when the Redbirds came here to play the Phantoms.  Some De Pere Redbird fans dressed in maroon and white came up to the concession stand here at West De Pere stadium, and the Phantom concession stand merchants told them, ‘You’re from the wrong side of town.’  Everyone laughed.”

“What colors are the Phantoms, do you think?” asked Year.

“I think that they are black and orange,” said Decade.  “My cheerleader mistress knows these things.  And she told me.”

“My master told me that VFW Park has a nice outdoor pool here in the west side of town,” said Year.  “Just as Legion Park does in the east side of town.”

“Too bad for the people of Wisconsin that pool season is only for about two-and-one-half months,” said Decade.  “Up north here, the summers are short.”

“Also–don’t forget– the lifeguards have to go back to college for the fall, as well,” said Year.

“My favorite days for these pools are those ‘Pooch pool days,’” said Decade.

“Are those days when dogs can jump in?” asked Year.

“Yeah,” said Decade.  “Only dogs can use the pools.  And those days are always the last day of pool season.  After Pooch Pool Day, the pools close for the year.”

“They should have a ‘Horse Pool Day,’ Decade,” said Year.

“We should talk to Mayor Walsh about that,” said Decade.

Then Year said, “We still have a core of forty people who come to the Sunday Morning Worship Service here at our church now on this west side of town.”

“We have a little fewer than that coming out out for Sunday Evening Worship,” said Decade.

“And we have a little fewer still that come out for Sunday School,” said Year.

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“And we have even more few than that coming out for our Wednesday Night Bible Study and Prayer Meeting,” said Decade.

“And we have the very fewest, those who come out to knock on doors on Thursday Evening Visitation,” said Year.

“That’s the way it is with most Baptist churches,” said Decade.  “But most churches out there that are not fundamental Baptist churches do not have four services every week.”

“Baptists are good church folk,” said Year.

“My mistress and Pastor’s wife Emmy are best friends at church,” said Decade.  “Only I am a better friend to my mistress than is good Emmy.”

“Same with me and my master and Pastor,” said Year.  “My master and I are best friends.  And my master and Pastor are second-best friends.”

“Pastor appreciates our owners, Year,” said Decade.  “He has appointed my mistress to church clerk and your master to church usher.”

“Pastor has praised my master’s perfect church attendance by telling him, ‘There’s a strength being around a faithful Christian, and there’s a weakness being around an unfaithful Christian,’” bragged Year upon Flanders Nickels.  “Pastor’s chief criterion for the usher position is faithfulness.”

“And Emmy said to my mistress more than once, ‘I am so glad I have a church woman friend like you, Tracy,’” bragged Decade on Tracy Majesty.  “In Pastor’s ministry in Iron River and in Pine River, God had blessed Emmy with a few good and kind women friends in the flock whom she could count on to never forsake her.  But in Pastor’s ministry here in De Pere, Emmy can count on only my mistress to never betray her as her church woman friend.”

“Do you see the church sign down there?” asked Year.

“I can see the back of it,” said Decade.

“You know the Bible verse that Pastor has on it for passersby to read and to start thinking about

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eternity from it,” said Year.

“Yeah.  I do,” said Decade.  “It goes like this:  ‘Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved.’”

“’Acts 16:31,’ it says on the sign right after that,” said Year.

“I like the row of Birch Trees in the front yard off to the side,” said Decade, admiring the church yard.

“And I like the tree that Flanders climbs in the front yard off to the other side,” said Year, also appreciating the church lot.

The two winged equines then walked upon this church roof to the front and looked down the front wall.  Down there were the black numbers reading “645” on a white background and also the large wooden white cross upon a vertical and a horizontal brown board.  These two things passersby would also see going by the church on Grant Street.  At the pinnacle of the roof and pointing down toward the cross was a spotlight that went on when night came.  And this building had brown boards instead of windows on the two lateral sides of the building.  And a wooden retaining wall not very tall held up an edge of the land along the back of the lot behind the church.  The men of the church had built this.  Also a storage shed was here behind the church for tools for yard work.  The men of the church had built this, too.  And along one side of this church land was a steel chain link fence that belonged to the high school.  And along the other side of the church land, toward the back to the side was a makeshift fence of wooden posts and wooden beams that belonged to the church.  The rest of the property was a parking lot for all manner of beasts of transportation.  “There’s my place,” said Decade, pointing his unicorn horn toward a parking space with his name painted on it.

“And there’s mine,” said Year, pointing with his fore hoof toward a parking space with his name painted thus upon the blacktop.

“Sometimes we park there from the sky, and sometimes we park there from the ground,” said

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Decade.

“But we do not park there from the water,” said Year in jest.

“The Fox River does not go past Blessed Hope Baptist Church anywhere near,” said Decade.

“I miss my master,” said Year.

“And I, my mistress,” said Decade.

“We had fun together on our pets’ day out,” said Year.

“We’ve got to do it again soon,” said Decade.

“Shall we fly back home to east De Pere?” asked Year.

“My mistress misses me, too,” said Decade.

“And my master, me,” said Year.

And together winged horse and winged unicorn flew back home back across the Fox River.

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CHAPTER VIII

The group of four were standing upon a lone and most isolated gravel road in the midst of so rural countryside that nobody else could be seen.  “We are here,” said Flanders.  “Over there is my most beautiful place in the world.”  He pointed off to the side of the road.

Year knew all about this place, being family.  Decade and Tracy were now being introduced to it for their first time.  Decade asked, “What is it?”

Tracy asked, “Where is it?”

Winged horse and master looked at each other.  “Tell them, Year,” said Flanders with a smile.

And Year said, “Do you two see the sand dunes over there?”

“Yes,” said unicorn and mistress.

“Well that is my master’s most beautiful place on Earth,” said Year.

“A unicorn like myself would like to run in it,” said Decade.

“A man’s cheerleader girlfriend could have a lot of fun in it, boyfriend,” said Tracy Majesty.

“Do you two like it?” asked Flanders.

“Yes!” said mistress and pet unicorn both at once and nodding their heads in an “aye!”

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The sand dunes was about one hundred feet away from this little gravel road upon which the four were standing.  In this one hundred feet was scrubby and nasty wilderness.  The cheerleader took one step into this wilderness with her sneaker and stopped.

Flanders Nickels said, “Do be careful, Tracy.  I know this field.  It has burrs and pickers and that sharp green grass in it.  You might want to ride good Decade up to the sand dunes.  I can ride my faithful Year.  Horses do not mind such a field of weeds as this.”

“That I will do,” she said.  “Is the sand dunes more comfortable for a woman than this nasty little field?”

“It is, Tracy,” said Flanders.  “It is a most ideal haven like none other.”

“Where are we right now?” she asked.

“We are in rural Beaver, Wisconsin,” he said.

“I have never seen anything as rural as this Beaver,” said Miss Majesty.

Year spoke up and said “Highway 141 goes right through Beaver.”

“Highway 141?” asked Tracy.  “Don’t you mean Highway 41?”

Year shook his head, and Flanders said, “Nope, Tracy.  It is Highway 141 like Year says.”

“I never heard of that highway before,” she said.  “Is Beaver even on a Wisconsin map?”

“Tell them, Year,” said Flanders, having good fun.

And Year said, “Beaver is north of Coleman and Pound and south of Crivitz.”

And Beaver is where Mom and Dad’s cabin are, and Left Foot Creek goes right through our property,” said Flanders.

“But I don’t see a cabin here, Flanders,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.  “And I do not see a creek here.”

“The cabin and creek are down the road farther a little way,” said Flanders.  “But these sand dunes here are down this road away from our cabin.”

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“Are we trespassing, Flanders?” asked thoughtful Decade.

“No one is ever around,” said Flanders.  “No one minds when our family walks here from the cabin and plays here.”

“The sand dunes are becoming a beautiful place to me now, Flanders,” said Miss Majesty.

“I’m beginning to like them more now myself, O Mistress,” said Decade.

Flanders now mounted Year, and Tracy now mounted Decade.

“Can we go there now, Flanders?” asked Miss Majesty.

“Let us now go there,” said Flanders Nickels.  And the two equines cantered through the uncomfortable wild field, carrying master and mistress.  And Flanders said, not taking his gaze away from the sand dunes, “This sand in these sand dunes is even more beautiful than any sand of any sandy seashore in this world, Tracy, Decade.”

“That says very much, Flanders,” said Tracy.  “You tell me at times that Heaven is one big seashore.”

“My fancies of Heaven are not necessarily Biblical when I get to thinking about the rapture,” he said.

“Maybe Heaven is one big sand dunes,” said Tracy.

“Or maybe many small sand dunes,” said Decade.

“I like those two fancies even better,” said Flanders.

“You two tempt my master to wax eschatological,” said Year.

“We’re here,” said Flanders, his horse now standing upon the edge of the sand dunes.  And Flanders Nickels leaped right off of his horse onto the sand feet first.  His cheerleader girlfriend, her unicorn also now standing upon this sand dune’s edges, did likewise, landing athletically upon her sneakers.

At once the two pets had a foot race side-by-side to the top of the hill of these sand dunes.

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Master and mistress declared it a tie.  Then the two pets frolicked between themselves there on the other side of these sand dunes.  Flanders and Tracy had this side of the sand dunes all to themselves.

“We are alone now, Flanders,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.

“Our equine best friends are right over there, Tracy,” he said.

“They’re not looking at us,” she said.

“I can see that they are not,” he said.

“Gawking at my pleats, boyfriend?” asked his cheerleader gal.

“They are beautiful to look at, Tracy,” he said in confession.

“They are more beautiful to feel, O Flanders,” she said.

“You call that fabric ‘polyester double knit,’” he did say now.

“I feel them all day every day,” she said.  “I have them on all the time, you know.”

“Yeah.  I know,” he said.

“Reach out your hand to them,” she said.

“I am supposed to feel your cheerleader skirt pleats?” he asked.

“Any boy or man should want to feel such a cheerleader skirt with his hands,” she said.

“Oh, but I do want to, Tracy,” he said.  “But I never did anything like that before.  We never did anything like that before.  You never let me do that before.”

“That’s because you never asked if I would let you do that before, Flanders,” she said.

“My hands have held my mace for some years now.  My mace has become one with my fingers.

I have touched it now every day since I stopped holding salvation tracts,” he bragged.  “But I never held anything like one of your pleats before, O Tracy!”

“Is my boyfriend only a griffin slayer and never a romancer?” asked his cheerleader girlfriend.

“Romancing sounds better than slaying right now,” he did say.

“What’s your decision?” she asked.  “Ask your girlfriend the right question, and your girlfriend

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will give you the right answer.”

“I will ask my girlfriend now if she will let me have a quick little grab of her cheerleader skirt pleat with two of his fingers,” he said.

“Ask, and I will answer,” she said.

“Tracy, would it be all right with you if I grabbed your pleats in my hand right now?” he asked her.

“Your cheerleader lady says, ‘Yes.  Do anything with my pleats, but do not put them on yourself,’” said Tracy Majesty.

Flanders Nickels did not pause another moment even to give a wily quip of flirt.  His hand tentative and his heart daring and brave, the boyfriend reached out his hand toward the pleats of which he had gawked at for years.  And his thumb and index finger took a hold of the front middle white pleat, held it in most wild rapture, and raised it in these two fingers a few inches from where it was hanging, then opened his two fingers, and did let it fall back down to where it had been.  In awed reverie he said, “Now I know all about what it is like being a girl.”

“No.  You only know a little about what it is like being a girl cheerleader,” said Tracy.  “Go ahead and find out more about your cheerleader girlfriend.”

“Without actually touching you,” he said.

“Yes, without touching any of my self,” she said.

Desiring more and seeking more and touching more, Flanders Nickels took a more assertive hold of that same middle white pleat with all five fingers of his right hand, this time feeling the blue stripe that ran along the white near this pleat’s bottom.  In his whole grasp, he did raise this pleat before him straight outward at the level of the bottom of that red yoke that descended down in a “V” in the skirt’s front above the pleats.  This time he would not let go so hastily.  He then put his left hand to this front main pleat that he was holding up with his right hand, and he ran his fingers of his left hand all

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the way from bottom to top and all the way back from top to bottom.  Then did he gently set the pleat back down where he had found it.  And he took both hands now away from it.  And he said, “I feel like I know what it is like to put it on,” he said now.

“You have found out all about one of my pleats,” she said.  “But I have over thirty pleats around myself.”

“I like the one I felt best, the white one,” he said.

“I have fifteen other white pleats that you did not yet touch,” she said.  “And I have sixteen maroon contrasting pleats that you still know nothing about.”

“I think that your boyfriend is beginning to think like a cheerleader,” he said.

“Touch one of my contrasting pleats right now, boyfriend,” she said.

“Maroon is a better color for a cheerleader pleat than is white,” he did say.  And at once, careful not to touch the girl and displease God, Flanders Nickels took both of his hands and caressed the two narrow maroon contrasting pleats between that were to the left and to the right of the pleat that he had petted, the one on the left with his left hand and the one on the right with his right hand.  He did not raise these two pleats.  But he held them and gazed upon them and grew giddy upon examining them for over one minute as his cheerleader girlfriend stood there patiently.  Then Flanders let go of the two cheerleader skirt pleats.  And he said, “Whoa!  It does feel even better than it looks, Tracy.”

“I was right.  Wasn’t I?” asked Miss Majesty.

“I wonder if Christians should be doing what we are doing,” he asked.

“We are not really making out,” she said. “Are we?”

“We are not really touching each other,” he said.

“And we are not hugging and kissing,” she said.

“Or doing things Lana would do,” he said.

“You’re just satisfying your curiosities about your real pretty cheerleader girlfriend,” she said.

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“Yeah, Tracy.  I’m finding out about my cheerleader girlfriend’s favorite outfit,” he said.

“Or should we say, Flanders, ‘You’re finding out about your favorite outfit of your cheerleader girlfriend,” she said.

“And do you know what I like best about it?” he asked.

“Tell me,” she said.

“I love how the bottom maroon hem to your cheerleader sweater goes down over your top maroon hem and maroon yoke to your cheerleader skirt when you wear it every day,” he said.  “I love that part of your uniform the very best.”

“The bottom hem to my sweater hugs my waist and feels nice and thick and comfortable; the top hem to my skirt is a band strong and sure and comfortable,” she said with cheerleaders’ knowledge.

Bold in this romance of the day, Flanders reached out his right hand to hold her left wrist, feeling her maroon cheerleader sweater cuff in his fingers all around.  Seizing the day, happy Tracy proffered her other wrist for his other hand, and he wrapped his left hand around her right maroon cheerleader sweater cuff.  And he held his cheerleader girlfriend in ardor like this for a long time.

“What is this, Tracy?” he asked.

“Do you mean what is this cuff made of, Flanders?” she asked.

“Yes, Tracy,” he said.  “What is the material of cheerleader sweaters called?”

“These maroon cuffs and all the rest of my cheerleader sweater is made of Orlon Acrylic,” she said.

“I like it,” he said.

“You love it,” she said.

“I love it,” he said.

“And here with me you get to touch it,” she said.

“And here with me you get to wear it,” he said.

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“Is it comfortable in your hands, Flanders?” she asked.

He nodded and asked, “Is it comfortable on your torso, girlfriend?” And she nodded likewise.

Then he let go of her cuffs.  “Are those your favorite parts to my cheerleader sweater, Flanders?” she asked.

“Yes, Tracy,” he said.  “And your chenille emblem.”

“You cannot touch my chenille emblem, Flanders,” she said.  “God would not like that.”

“I will not touch your chenille emblem, my feminine Tracy.  I know what you have right there,” he agreed.

“That could be called ‘petting,’” she said.

“Let’s not pet each other,” he said.

“God would not like that,” she said.

“No.  God would not like that,” he said.

Then he turned toward the lone and familiar little tree of these sand dunes that stood there not far away.  She looked out upon what he was looking at.  “What are you looking at, Flanders?” she asked, herself already knowing.

“The only tree in these sand dunes, Tracy,” he said.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked, herself not knowing.

“A girl like you could hide behind that tree, and her boyfriend could not see her,” he said.

Astute with ready answer, but not knowing the meaning, she said, “And a guy like you could hide behind that tree, and his girlfriend could not see him.”

“We had fun games today with your pleats and with your cuffs, but now I need to find out about them the way you do, O Tracy,” he said.

“Do I know what you are hinting at, Flanders?” she asked.

“But God might not like that,” he said.

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“I don’t think that he would, either, Flanders,” she said.

“Do you know what I’m thinking?” he asked.

“I do remember telling you not to put on my pleats on yourself,” she said.

“Do you still say that to me now, Tracy H. Majesty?” he said.

“No.  I do not think so right now, Flanders,” she said.

“You are a tall thin girl, and I am a short thin boy,” he said.  “We are the same height, and we are the same size.”

“I am a junior’s size large,” she said. “Women’s size fourteen.”

“And I am a boy’s size medium,” he said.  “Men’s size fifteen.”

“But what does this tree have to do with all of this strange funny business?” she asked.

“There are no rooms here outside in this sand dunes,” he said.

“Oh,” she said.  “I know now what you mean.”

“A guy can hide behind this tree and put on his girl’s outfit, and she cannot see him as he does this,” explained Flanders.

“And a girl can hide behind this tree and put on her boyfriend’s outfit, and he cannot see her as she does this,” finished the cheerleader girlfriend the answer.

“You’d look hot in my blue jeans, Tracy,” he said.  “And not bad in my short-sleeved shirt.”

“I’m not quite sure how you would look in my sweater and in my skirt, Flanders,” she said in doubts.

“Are you curious?” he asked.

“A cheerleader girlfriend doesn’t get asked by her lifelong boyfriend to join him in mutual drag like this every day, you know,” said Miss Majesty.

“Let’s keep our drag experiment to be outer clothes only,” he said.

“I keep my lingerie; you keep your underwear,” she said.

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“And I keep my penny loafers, and you keep your sneakers,” he said.

“And I keep my knee socks, too, Flanders,” she said.

“Yes, and you keep your pom poms, too,” he said.

“And you keep your Jiffy hat, boyfriend,” she said.

“Yes,” he agreed.

“All you get from me is my cheerleader sweater and my cheerleader skirt,” she said.

“The pleats and the cuffs,” he said in summary.

“Who goes first?” she asked.

“We can both go at the same time– one of us on one side of the tree trunk; and the other of us on the other side of the tree trunk,” he said.

“It sounds like innocent fun,” she said.

“Fun!  Fun!  Fun!” he said.

Both looked around for their pets.  Neither sight nor sound from either of them had been here in these sand dunes now for a long time.  They had gone off together to play equine games somewhere who knows where.  But neither Decade nor Year were anywhere nearby now.

“Well, boyfriend,” said Tracy Majesty.  “Here we go!”

“Here goes, girl!” he said.

And they set themselves on opposite sides of the little tree.  “No one’s looking,” said Miss Majesty.

“No one’s looking,” said Flanders.

Flanders put his hand to his zipper of his blue jeans in the front.  Tracy put her hands to her zipper in her skirt in the back.

Just then Decade and Year came flying back to the sand dunes in great pomp and ceremony.

Decade asked in misunderstanding, “Mistress, are you playing ‘Lana’ with Flanders?”

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And Year asked, “Flanders, are you getting naughty with Tracy?”

At once the cheerleader and her boyfriend took away their hands from their zippers.  And it took a lot of explaining for them to do to convince their pets that they had not been pursuing fornication.  And even when they convinced their pets of this truth, their pets still were not pleased with their owners.

Decade went on to say words to Tracy that had already been spoken between herself and Flanders:  “Mistress, God would not have been happy with you.”

And Year went on to say to Flanders, “Master, would you make yourself an abomination before a holy God?”

And cheerleader girlfriend and cheerleader’s boyfriend were thus rebuked by winged unicorn pet and winged horse pet.

 

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CHAPTER IX

Tracy Majesty and Flanders Nickels had a date again at her place.  They were sitting across from each other at the kitchen table, each with a big platter of strawberry shortcake in front of themselves.  They were guilty in their thoughts about what they did at the sand dunes.

“I prayed to God this morning,” said Flanders.

“So did I,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.

“I said, ‘I’m sorry,’ to God for what I was about to do,” confessed Flanders.

“I apologized to God, also, Flanders,” admitted Tracy.

“I will never do that again which I was looking to do,” promised Flanders.

“I, also, very much,” promised Miss Majesty.  “Now are we both clean in God’s eyes.”

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness,” recited Flanders a promise in the Bible to the believers.

“I John 1:9,” said the wise cheerleader Christian.

“What did you do with this strawberry shortcake to make it so good, Tracy?” he asked.

“I did not do anything different from what I usually do with it,” she said.  “But I thank you.”

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“Your strawberry shortcake is always so much better than my strawberry shortcake,” he said.

“Do you think that you do something wrong when you make it, Flanders?” she asked.

“I do follow the directions, I think,” he said.

“I’ve had your strawberry shortcake, Flanders.  And yours seems almost sour,” said Miss Majesty.

“Almost bitter,” he said.

“Yeah,” she said.  “Maybe your strawberries are white inside.  Sometimes those great big strawberries from California look nice on the outside, but are all white on the inside.”

“Mine are always local here from Wisconsin, and they are all deep red all the way through inside,” he said.

“I know that you use baking mix biscuits for your strawberry shortcakes, as I do,” she said.  “Our strawberry shortcakes are never with those sponge cakes.”

“No dessert cups for this man and his strawberry shortcake,” he said.

“I never see you with a spray can of whipped cream with your strawberry shortcake,” she said.  “That is pretty good on it, but not the best.”

“You and I use only the tub of whipped cream from the frozen department,” he said.

“Yes.  Yes,” she said.  “That is the best.”

“The milk I use.  It isn’t stale, do you think?” he asked.

“It would be unlikely that you end up accidentally using stale milk when you make your biscuits every time; and I, never, every time,” she said, surmising out loud.

“Then my milk is fresh every time,” he said.

“You don’t use those other milks that everyone other than I buy, do you, Flanders?” she asked.

“You’re a whole milk like myself,”

“No 2% or 1% or skim milk for me, girl,” he bragged on his old-time whole milk.

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“That I knew,” she said.  Then she said, “Maybe you’re using margarine instead of butter.  I never had margarine, though I’m sure that that’s good, too.”

“I use only butter,” he said.

She paused to take another forkful of her strawberry shortcake; so, too, did Flanders.  “It’s good.  Isn’t it just great, Flanders?” she asked.

“So nice and sweet and sugary,” he complimented the cook.

“That’s it!” she exclaimed.  “That’s what’s wrong when I come over to your place for your strawberry shortcake, Flanders!  Now I think I know.”

“What did I say?” he asked.  “I said that your strawberry shortcake is nice and sweet and sugary.”

“Which is everything that your strawberry shortcake is not,” she said.

“How do you get it so sugary, Tracy?” he asked.

“I sprinkle in sugar in my bowl of cut up strawberries, Flanders,” she said.  “You do not add sugar to your cut up strawberries.  Do you?”

“Am I supposed to?” he asked.

“Yeah!” she said, stretching the word out for effect.

“The recipe never said to do that,” he said.

“Flanders, unlike your cheerleader girlfriend, you are no Betty Crocker,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.

“Next time you come over for this,” he said, holding up a fork of strawberry shortcake in indication, “and I am the one who makes it, it shall be nice and sweet and sugary.”

“With an offer like that, a boyfriend cannot call me ‘late for dinner,’” she said gaily.

“My girlfriend will be called ‘prompt for dinner,’” he said.  “Like with church.”

“And like fellowship dinner at church,” she said.

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“What did the sign say at the Southern Baptist Church when it advertised a popular corn dish for their pot luck supper after Sunday Evening Worship?” he said.

“I heard that riddle from you before,” she said, “but I forgot the punch line.”

“Come for the homily; stay for the hominy,” he said.  “Ha ha ha!” he laughed at his own joke.

“He he he!” said the cheerleader girlfriend, enjoying it again.

“Would you honor your boyfriend-in-the-Lord with a song again?” he asked.

“Would you like me to sing a hymn or a carol?” she asked.

“Sometimes a hymn is also a carol,” he said.

“How about a carol that is not a hymn?” she asked.

“You love ‘Panis Angelicus,’” he said.

“I do,” she said, “even though it is all in Latin.  But I can still sing it for you here in the kitchen.”

“Ooo, let me hear you sing your favorite Christmas carol,” he said in fervor.

And his cheerleader girlfriend sang it for him at her kitchen table:

“Panis angelicus

Fit panis hominum

Dat panis coelicus figuris terminum

O res mirabiles

Manducat Dominum

Pauper, pauper

Servus et humilis

Pauper, pauper

Servus et humilis”

 

“Amen.  Amen, so fair and comely Tracy,” said Flanders swept up in her so great allure of young feminine voice.

The cheerleader girlfriend then went on to speak these lyrics of “Panis Angelicus,” translating them into English as she spoke:

“The bread of the angels

 

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Is made the bread of mankind

Bread given from Heaven terminating all figures

O marvelous thing

Nourished on the Lord

Are the poor, the poor

Slaves and the lowly

The poor, the poor

Slaves and the lowly.”

 

‘What do you think that Panis Angelicus is all about?” asked Flanders Nickels.

“Maybe manna.  Maybe the unleavened bread of the Lord’s table.  Maybe Jesus,” she said.

“You remember what John chapter six is all about?” asked Flanders.

“Yes.  In verse 48 Jesus says, ‘I am that bread of life,’” said Miss Tracy Majesty.

“And in verse 41, Jesus goes and says, ‘I am the bread which came down from heaven.’” recited Flanders.

“And in verse 50, Jesus says also about Himself, ‘This is the bread which cometh down from heaven, that a man may eat thereof, and not die,” quoted the cheerleader Bible student.

“And in verse 35 it is written, O Tracy, ‘And Jesus saith unto them, I am the bread of life:  He that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.’”

“Only Jesus satisfies,” said his cheerleader Christian girlfriend.

“Only Jesus saves,” said Flanders Nickels.

“So good Proffery used to say that when he was around,” said Miss Majesty.

“I remember Proffery,” said Flanders.  “He led me to my own salvation long, long ago.”

“God took good Proffery home in a fall from a horse,” said the cheerleader girl.

“God did use him most mightily in his few years of life that he borrowed from God,” said Flanders in somberness.

“Before Year came around, Proffery was your best friend, Flanders,” she said.

“My best friend in kindergarten,” said Flanders solemnly.

 

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“He was six years old.  I was six years old.  You were six years old,” said Tracy.

“You remember him,” said Flanders.

“He was all good and no bad,” said Miss Majesty.  “And everyone of us at school loved him.”

“They say that he was even smarter than the teachers,” said Flanders.

“Even our principal, when Proffery had something to say, stopped and listened to him,” said the cheerleader girl.

“He was taught by his grandma and grandpa well in the ways of God,” said Flanders.  “His grandma and grandpa had already been born again for fifty years.  And they did lead him to salvation most efficaciously.  Praise the God of the living and of the dead for his two grandparents.”

“How old was he when he found Christ, Flanders?” asked Miss Majesty.

“He got saved at four years of age, Tracy,” he said.

“They say that he led his mom and dad to salvation hardly any while later,” she said.  “Proffery’s first two souls led to Christ were his parents.”

“And he was only five when he did that,” said Flanders.

“And when we were all six, he led you to salvation, too, boyfriend,” said the cheerleader girl.

“Praise the God of mercy and grace,” said Flanders.   “So much Bible he did know after not even two years into his own salvation, O Tracy!”

“Proffery Coins was a Christian prodigy, Flanders!” exclaimed Tracy Majesty.

“And he took me in under his wing.  And he sought to win my soul with persistence.  And he did not stop until he got it done for me,” said Flanders Nickels.

“Do go and tell me the great and wonderful testimony of your salvation again, O Flanders,” said his cheerleader.

“With all of those verses from my best friend about the great and terrible day of the Lord,” said Flanders.

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“Yes yes!  Tell me all again.  Your girlfriend loves to hear it every time,” she said in truth.

And Flanders Nickels gave the testimony of how he had become born again to his cheerleader once again most gladly:  “It all started in recess for me on the first day of school—for me in fact my very first day at school in my life.  I was swinging on the swings.  And I saw a little boy with big thick glasses and a most learned countenance no older than myself.  He was playing in the sandbox right in front of where I was swinging and only ten feet away.  I did not know who he was yet.  And I thought to show off to him.  And I told him, ‘Do you want to see something amazing?’

And he stood up in the sandbox and most politely gave me his full attention, and he said, ‘Yes.  Would you show me something amazing?’

And I said, ‘Watch and see what I can do!’  And I began to swing higher and higher until at last I was ready to put on my show.  And in that next swing, I pulled it off, Tracy!  I did swing upwards and then backwards up and over the high bar of the swings and did come back down forward and back again under the high bar of the swings.  ‘Did anybody do that before here at school?’ I bragged to this great boy I did not yet know.

And he stood there in great astonishment and marvel at what I had just done, and he said, ‘I never saw anyone do that before!’

I then introduced myself, ‘I am Flanders.’

And he then introduced himself, ‘I am Proffery.’

I then asked him, ‘Do you do anything amazing, Proffery?’

And he said, ‘I know One Who does, Flanders.’

And I said, ‘Who?  What does he do?’

And Proffery said, ‘I know Christ, and He saves from their sins all who come unto Him.’

I said, ‘He sounds like He does more astounding things than the thing that I have just done,’

“He is Lord,’ said Proffery.  And just like that we were best friends.”

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The cheerleader girlfriend broke in and said, “Then he started telling you all about what the Old Testament said about the day of the Lord.”

“Which a boy like me definitely needed to hear in order to get saved like Proffery,” said Flanders Nickels.

“For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword,…,” quoted the cheerleader Bible student.  “Hebrews 4:12.”

“The next time he witnessed to me, he and I were in the stands, watching Little League baseball,” said Flanders.  He told me, ‘Flanders, do you know what it says in Isaiah 13:6?’

I said, ‘No, Proffery.  What does it say?’

And he said, ‘It says this, Flanders, “Howl ye; for the day of the Lord is at hand; it shall come as a destruction from the Almighty.”’

‘What’s that mean?’ I asked.

And he said, ‘God’s prophet Isaiah is prophesying of the fall of the Babylonian Empire, and that the day of the Lord will come and judge and destroy Babylon.  But, Flanders, the day of the Lord will come upon this world of today someday, also.  Are you ready?’

‘I don’t think so, Proffery,’ I said.

Later, one day for me and Proffery at the Legion Park pool, he asked me, ‘Flanders, did I ever tell you about Ezekiel 30:2-3?’

‘Not yet, Proffery,’ I said.  ‘How does it go?’

And he recited by memory its words, ‘Son of man, prophesy and say, Thus saith the Lord God; Howl ye, Woe worth the day!  For the day is near, even the day of the Lord is near, a cloudy day; it shall be the time of the heathen.’

‘What do you think that God is saying in those two verses, Proffery?’ I asked him.

‘God is using His prophet Ezekiel to warn the people of Egypt of coming judgment if they do

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not repent,’ he told me.

‘I think that I know what you mean, Proffery,’ I said.  ‘You’re saying that the day of the Lord was coming to Egypt.’

‘Yes, Flanders!’ he said to me.  ‘Just as God uses His Christians to warn the lost of their coming day of the Lord.  Are you ready for that day yourself, Flanders?’

‘I don’t think so, Proffery,’ I said.

Not long later, he witnessed to me once again.  He and I were walking across the Claude-Allouez Bridge on our way to the De Pere Library on Main Avenue.  And he popped a question to me again, saying, ‘Flanders, I learned about the verse Joel 1:15, and I was wondering if I could share it with you.’

‘I’d like to hear it, Proffery,’ I said most gladly.

And he said, ‘This is how it goes: “Alas for the day!  For the day of the Lord is at hand, and as a  destruction from the Almighty shall it come.’”

“Whom does this day of the Lord come crashing down upon?’ I asked.

‘Upon Zion,’ he told me.

‘Zion?’ I asked.

‘That’s “Jerusalem,” the capital of God’s chosen nation,’ he told me.

“Is that about us lost people today, too, like what you said before?’ I asked him.

‘If you die in your sins, Flanders, the day of the Lord will come crashing down upon you, and you will be cast down to Hell,’ he told me.

‘That’s real bad for me,’ I said.

“Are you ready for the day of the Lord, Flanders?’ he asked me.

‘I don’t think so, Proffery,’ I said.

But he did not give up on my soul.  He and I were at the Pink Flamingo at Legion Park that one

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summer day when he witnessed to me yet again,” said Flanders.

“The Pink Flamingo,” said Tracy.  “That annual slow-pitch amateur baseball tournament.”

“Yeah,” said Flanders,  “But neither he nor I had come to watch the baseball.  We were both there for the delicious and real cheap grilled out food.  I had a hamburger and a hot dog and a bratwurst and French fries and a pop for only a few dollars out of my wallet.  Proffery had six roasted corn-on-the-cobs.”

“What did he say to you about the day of the Lord that time?” she asked.

“He said to me, ‘Flanders, I discovered a new verse, and I memorized it to tell you.  Would it be okay with you if I recited it to you?’

And I readily nodded my head and said, ‘Do tell it to me, Proffery.’

And he said, ‘”For the day of the Lord is near upon all the heathen:  as thou hast done, it shall be done unto thee:  thy reward shall return upon thine own head.”  Obadiah 15, Flanders.’

Thinking upon this verse upon first hearing it, I asked, ‘This day of the Lord…was it upon heathens?’

‘So it says in the verse, Flanders,’ said wise Proffery.  ‘But, this verse being in the book of Obadiah, it more specifically refers to the people of the country of Edom, Israel’s neighbors to the south, who hindered Israel with evil mischief.’

‘I’m a heathen,’ I said.

‘Yes,’ he said.  ‘Are you ready, Flanders, for the day of the Lord?’

‘I don’t think so, Proffery,’ I said.

But then came the coup de grace of ‘day of the Lord’ passages in the Good Book, O Tracy,” he said in this most unique testimony of salvation.  Proffery Coins and I were down the basement at his house, and we were watching W.W.F wrestling on TV.  Hulk Hogan was giving an interview and saying how he worked out and took his vitamins and said his prayers.  And Proffery then shut off the

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TV and told me, ‘Grandma and Grandpa have been praying for you, Flanders, and I have been praying for you every day now since our first day of kindergarten together.  If you do not get saved pretty soon, something in my heart fears that it might forever be too late for you to want to get saved.  I do not know if we have the rest of our lives together for me to keep telling you about the Saviour.  None of us know how many years that God gives each of us to live our lives.  I have one more Bible verse passage I need to share with you, and it is a doozy.  If this one does not convince you of your need for salvation, then I must give up of my Lord’s work for you.  We are best friends.  Aren’t we, Flanders?’

‘We are best friends, Proffery,’ I said. ‘Please tell me what God needs you to tell me from the Holy Bible.’

And he said, ‘It is written, “The great day of the Lord is near, it is near, and hasteth greatly, even the voice of the day of the Lord:  the mighty man shall cry there bitterly.  That day is a day of wrath, a day of trouble and distress, a day of wasteness and desolation, a day of darkness and gloominess, a day of clouds and thick darkness,”  Zephaniah 1:14-15.’

And right then it all happened at once for me.  The Holy Spirit spoke to me in His still small voice of eternal truths.  And I did not say, ‘No’ to God.  I now understood God’s plan of salvation: I was a sinner on my way to Hell, and I was sorry to God for my sins, and I wanted to get right with God, and I now knew that God’s Son Jesus died on the cross for my sins, and I now knew that this same Lord Jesus rose from the grave on the third day, and I had to ask Him to become my personal Saviour and I had to accept His free gift of eternal life in Heaven as the free gift that it was.

I heard Proffery saying to me, ‘The prophet Zephaniah was warning the people of Judah of their  coming day of the Lord.  Flanders, are you ready yet for your day of the Lord?’

And I cried out, ‘I am ready, O Proffery.  What must I do to get saved?’

And he said, ‘Pray for so great salvation, Flanders!’

And I fell upon my knees, brought my hands together, and bowed my head and cried out to the

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Lord, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’  In that most succinct prayer of seven words I had said all of the words of the Holy Spirit’s revelation unto me in His still small voice.  That, as you well know, good and pretty Tracy, is how I became a born-again believer.”

“Amen and amen and amen!” said the cheerleader girlfriend.

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CHAPTER X

Flanders was alone with God here at Braisher Field, the Redbird’s high school football stadium.

It was Saturday at ten o’clock at night, and it was late October, and the wind was cool and brisk.  He buttoned up his fall blue jean jacket.  He was sitting in the end zone here in the dark, his back against the field goal posts, and his eyes looking out onto the entirety of this so-familiar 120 yards of field in front of him.  It was much like this for him and his cheerleader that day he had led her to the Lord.  They were sitting right here; it was late and dark; the weather was cool and brisk.  It was the night of the Redbird homecoming game.  Tracy had been cheering all evening.  He had been watching her cheer all evening.  De Pere had won that football game.  And everybody had gone home.  Only two remained—the cheerleader and her boyfriend.  And she asked him, “Flanders, I am ready now.  Could we talk about God again?  This time I will listen.”

And he thrilled inside in all of his bones.  Maybe now he could this time lead her to the Lord.

He had felt subtle convictions of sin having dated her all these past months with herself lost and himself saved.  Were she to get saved right now, he could continue dating her, but without fearing a

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spanking from God anymore.  But most importantly to him, he would need no more to worry about her dying in her sins and going to Hell.  He did ask her now, “Tracy, do you want to get saved right now?”

“I do, Flanders,” she said.

“Follow me,” he said.  And he led her into the football field, stopped in front of the goal posts, and sat down in the short green grass.  She sat down beside him to his right in the short green grass.  A cold gust of late October wind blew upon boyfriend and cheerleader girlfriend.  She nestled against him where they sat to get warm.  He put his arm around her waist where they sat.   He took out his pocket K.J.V. Holy Bible from his shirt pocket.  He looked up at the night sky and saw the full moon shining big and bright down upon them and upon his little Bible.

The cheerleader gal spoke first, saying, “I’ve been thinking about what you’ve been saying to me all of our months together—your preaching and all.”

“About my Lord and Saviour?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, and her body trembled in his arm.  Was her shaking from the cold air or from fear of dying and going to Hell?

“Are you afraid, Tracy?” he asked her.

“I am afraid, Flanders,” she said.  “I am afraid of the Devil.”

“It is better to fear the Lord than to fear the Devil,” he said in encouragement.

She went on to say, “I know that Satan lives.  And I fear him.  He puts thoughts into my head, and I dwell upon them.  He puts words into my mouth, and I go and say them.  He tells me, ‘Do this bad thing,’ and I do that bad thing.  He tells me, ‘Do not do this good thing,’ and I do not do that good thing.  I tried to pray once—like you do all the time, Flanders.  But it was like my words went no higher than the ceiling.  You’re born again; your prayers go all the way to Heaven.  I tried to read the Bible once—like you already did cover-to-cover.  It was the book of Haggai that I tried to read, but the Good Book was boring for me to read.  You’re born again; you get lots of fun out of reading the Holy

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Bible.  I tried going to your church one time.  It was your church.  You were there, and you sat next to me.  But all that preaching made me feel uncomfortable with myself.  You’re born again; you kept saying during the sermon, ‘Amen!’  You love going to church.  Flanders, what am I doing wrong in my life?  What are you doing right in your life?  I am so going to Hell.  You are so going to Heaven.  If something happens to either of us, I will never get to see you again in the life to come.”

“I know what it is, Tracy,” he said.  “I think that you know what it is, too,  You said it just now three times.”

“I said three times, ‘You’re born again,’ Flanders,” she said.

“You also need to be born again, Tracy,” he said.  He then searched the Scriptures under the bright white moonlight, and he read to her, “’And I say unto you my friends, Be not afraid of them that kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do.  But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear:  Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.’  Luke 12:4-5.”

“I must fear only God,” she said in understanding.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,” quoted Flanders from throughout the Holy Bible.

“I am ready now to get saved, Flanders,” she said.  “You lots of times told me that all I had to do to get saved is to pray for this salvation.”  The soul of the cheerleader girlfriend was now finally ready for the Saviour of the world to come into her heart.  His cherished cheerleader girlfriend brought

up her knees and hugged her legs with her arms and said.  “What do I need to pray to get saved right now, O good and faithful Flanders?”

And he said, “Repeat the sentences of the prayer after me as I say them, and you will become a born-again Christian, too, like myself.”

“All right,” said Tracy Majesty, submitting all of her will and mind and body to Jesus Christ.

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“Dear God,” he began in salutation.

“Dear God,” the cheerleader repeated after him.

“I am a sheep gone astray,” he said for her.

“I am a sheep gone astray,” she said after him.

“I am sorry for all of my sins,” he led her.

“I am sorry for all of my sins,” she followed after him.

“Please look down upon me,” he said.

“Please look down upon me,” she said in like.

“And forgive me for all of my sins,” he prayed.

“And forgive me for all of my sins,” she petitioned God.

“I believe that Jesus is Lord,” he said.

“I believe that Jesus is Lord,” she confessed.

“And I believe that He bled and died for all of my sins,” he said.

“And I believe that He bled and died for all of my sins,” prayed Tracy the first half of the Gospel of salvation.

“Thank You for the cross of Calvary,” he said.

“Thank You for the cross of Calvary,” she said in thanksgiving for Christ’s crucifixion.

“And I believe that this same Jesus rose from the dead on the third day,” he led the teenage girl.

“And I believe that this same Jesus rose from the dead on the third day,” prayed Miss Majesty the second half of the Gospel of salvation.

“Thank You for Easter,” prayed Flanders for her.

“Thank You for Easter,” thanked Tracy the Lord for His miracle of miracles.

“Lord Jesus, I am a lost sheep searching for the Good Shepherd,” he said.

“Lord Jesus, I am a lost sheep searching for the Good Shepherd,” she said in supplication.

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“I ask You now to become my own personal Saviour,” he said.

“I ask You now to become my own personal Saviour,” she said so effectual eternal words.

“And keep me from ever going to Hell,” he said.

“And keep me from ever going to Hell,” she said, knowing the mercy of God fully now.

“That I may be Up There in Heaven with You forever and ever,” he said.

“That I may be Up There in Heaven with You forever and ever,” she said, understanding fully now the grace of God.

“Thank You, Lord,” he prayed.

“Thank You, Lord,” she prayed in closing.

“In the name of Jesus I do pray this,” he said.

“In the name of Jesus I do pray this,” she concluded.

“Amen,” he said, finishing her sinners’ prayer.

“Amen,” she said, now quite consummately saved from her sins.

And then it was midnight that night of her conversion.

And now it was midnight this night of so-glad reminiscences.

That was how his cheerleader girlfriend had become a born-again Christian.  This night alone with God right now, Flanders Nickels sighed in so-sweet happiness and did say an all-due triad for that night alone with Tracy: “Thank You!  Thank You!  Thank You!”

How sweet it could be now if he had his Tracy with him now.  He prayed a request, “I wish that she were here with me now, O Good Lord.”

Lo, here she came, walking up to him now where he was sitting and remembering—the very Tracy Majesty herself!  He jumped up to his feet, and he said, “Tracy, what are you doing here?”

“I don’t know.  All I knew was that the Holy Spirit told me to go to Braisher Field where I had become a born-again believer.  And I did so.  And here I am.  And you are here waiting for me,” she

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said.

“I am so glad to see you here so late at night,” he said.  “I was remembering last year here between the two of us.”

“I remember,” said his cheerleader girlfriend.  “I became a Christian that night because of you.”

“It was the happiest thing that happened for me in my years with Christ,” he said.

“It was the happy thing that began my one year in Christ,” said his cheerleader girlfriend.

“Would you sit with me here against the goal posts like you did on our special night together?” he asked.

“It’s cold out.  Could I lean against you and get warm?” she asked.

“We can keep each other warm and relive our best time together all over again,” he said.

And the cheerleader girlfriend sat right up against her boyfriend just as she had that magical day of last year here.

Just then a noisome smell came upon them in the air.  It was worse than the smell of manure.

And it was not as bad as the smell of a skunk. It was like unto the smell of decay.  Flanders quickly stood up and looked up and about in the dark skies for something that he knew about.  Tracy Majesty also got back to her feet.  She said, “I know that smell all too well, Flanders.”

“And I, too, Tracy,” he said.

“Where is it?” she asked.

“Somewhere up there, looking down upon us,” he said.

“Flanders, I’m scared,” she said.

He quoted Isaiah 26:3 for her to give her courage, “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee:  because he trusteth in thee.”

“God shall protect us,” she said.

“And I, too,” vowed Flanders, unsheathing his mace from its holster, “with a little help from

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God.”  And the Christian soldier began to brandish his mace of God above his head in a horizontal circle.  Behold, the full moon became clouded completely over, and night became pitch dark now.

“Do you see him?” she asked, herself seeing nothing in the night skies.

“Not yet,” said Flanders.  “But he sees us.”

“Scientists say that no creatures can see in the dark as well as griffins,” she said.

“I do not know if that holds true for gray griffins,” said Flanders.

Just then something brushed across the top of Tracy’s head, and just like that that something was gone.  “Yikes!” she cried out.  “I think that he touched me.”

“I didn’t see anything,” he exclaimed.

“I didn’t see anything, either, Flanders,” she said, frightened again.  She put her hands to the top of her head, and she felt something resting upon it.  She took it and held it in front of her eyes to examine it in the black darkness.  Her boyfriend also looked at it.  “It’s a feather,” she said.

“A gray feather,” he said.

“I pray God that he go away and leave us alone,” cried out the terrified cheerleader.

“Tracy, keep the faith,” he warned her in this dire time. “Do not let this griffin demon intimidate you.”

“Yes.  Yes.  Quite right, Flanders,” she said, recovering herself.  “It is written, ‘But God hath not  given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.’  II Timothy 1:7.”

“That’s good, O Tracy,” said Flanders.  “If you have fear in your heart, God did not put that there.”

“Your cheerleader shall keep the faith, Flanders,” said Tracy Majesty.

Then something sharp passed across her side of her neck.  It hurt some.  She could tell that this could have hurt much instead, if it had been willed.  It felt like an eagle’s claw.

“What was that?” called out Flanders in this dark. “Who goes there?”  There was no answer.

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“Flanders, I think that I am wounded,” stammered the cheerleader gal.

“What was it?” he asked, flustered.  “What happened?”

“I felt an eagle talon scrape along the side of my neck,” she said.

“Are you bleeding?” he asked.

She put her hand to the wound in her neck and held it there and looked at her hand.  There was no blood on her hand.  “Praise God I am not bleeding, Flanders,” she did say.

“You are all right, girl?” he asked in great concern for her.

“I am not all right, Flanders,” she said.  “I am being badgered by a gray griffin who wants to carry me away from you.  I am hardly all right.”

Raising his left fist in the air and holding his mace in his right hand, Flanders yelled out, “You devil!  Come down where I can see you and hit you!”  Again there was no rebuttal from this indiscernible gray griffin up there somewhere in the dark of moonless night.

Then something swooped by overhead for a third time, and Tracy felt a sharp jab strike the top of her head in the back.  This time the attack hurt lots.  She stood there about to fall, and Flanders had to hold her up in both of his arms so she would not go to the ground.  Her senses were dizzy from the knock on her head for just a moment.  And her head was hanging down and forward as her boyfriend held her up.  But when she raised her head back up and looked at him with her eyes, her consciousness was fully restored upon her countenance.  “My head hurts,” she said.

“Curses to that blasted gray griffin!” snarled Flanders under his breath and in great frustrations.

“Flanders, you’re beginning to talk like them now,” she rebuked him for so near a malediction.

“No demon dares to hurt my cheerleader ever ever!” he yelled at Tracy Majesty.

“Flanders…remember?…keep the faith,” she said, herself now trying to be strong in the Lord.

“That…gray griffin…tried to kill you, woman…and all you have to say is ‘Keep the faith?’” he hollered at his cheerleader girlfriend.

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“Flanders, we’re fighting!” she cried out in great dismay.

“No we are not,” he said quietly and angrily.  “Yes, we did,” he now confessed, quietly and apologetically.

“What are we going to do?” she said in uncertainty.

“First of all, I must say to you, ‘I’m sorry for having yelled at you,’ my Tracy,” he said.

“And I forgive you, O Flanders,” she said.  “Now what do we do with our gray griffin?”

“This gray griffin fights even worse than the previous two fought,” said Flanders, plotting battle tactics.  “Like his father’s father the Devil, he has come to divide us and to conquer us after we are divided.”

“Oh, Flanders, we must never fight each other again as long at that griffin is here after us,” she said.

“That’s the first thing we must do,” he said.  “It is written, ‘…, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and a house divided against a house falleth.’  Luke 11:17.”

Just then from not far above, a raucous voice called down unto them in derision, “My name is Maul, and I am come to maul you like a hammer.”

“Has the knight sent you here to get us, Maul?” asked Flanders, already knowing that.

“My father has indeed sent me here,” said Maul.  “I am come to slay man and carry away woman,” he then said in specific reference only to Flanders and his cheerleader girlfriend.

“What grade griffin are you, O Maul?” asked Flanders.

“You cannot see me to take a guess,” said Maul in scorn.  “I can see you, but you can not see me.  Ha ha ha!”

“I would say by your voice that you are an assistant professor griffin,” guessed Flanders.

“You are most wise man, Flanders.  That I am.  I am an assistant professor griffin,” said Maul.

“That means that you are an average gray griffin, Maul,” said Flanders.

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“I prefer to be referred to as of the middle gradient, man of God,” said Maul with a huff.

“The middle gradient of five gradients of gray griffins,” said Flanders.   “That means that there are two types of gray griffins smaller than you, and that means that there are two types of gray griffins bigger than you.”

“I am still big enough to carry both of you away at once and drop you two into the next city,” bragged this assistant professor griffin.

“Are assistant professor griffins also of the middle gradient intellectually, Maul?” said Flanders, most wily.  “Do you see yourself as a gray griffin who is of only average intellect?”

“Do come up here and say that to my face, O cursed Christian soldier!” challenged Maul, losing his control.

“I cannot come up there without my winged horse or my girlfriend’s winged unicorn, O my gray griffin with only ordinary intelligence,” taunted Flanders most strategically.

“Do I have to come down there to make you to say that to my face, O man?!” shouted the assistant professor griffin.

“Seeing that I can not come up there to do that, you have to come down here for me to do that, Maul,” said Flanders Nickels.

“That shall be the last thing you shall ever say in this life, O believer!” shrieked the proud Maul.

And with no further words and without thinking rationally, the assistant professor lighted upon the ground before Flanders, his griffin face in Flanders’s face.  Then the clouds moved away from the full moon, and in this moonlight now returned, Flanders could see all of Maul in his griffin entirety.

And without any further words, Flanders swung his mace from God in his right hand from right to left.

And he cut off the head of this assistant professor griffin.  And Maul perished in battle right there on the spot, his body falling down to the ground in one little piece and in one big piece.

“He’s dead!  He’s dead!” sang out the cheerleader in joy of the Lord.

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“God has used me to slay another Gray Griffin,” said Flanders Nickels.  “This my first griffin battle of nighttime.”

“Praise the Good Lord of the day and of the night,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.  “Our Maker has made them both.”

“Should we leave this griffin carcass here in Braisher Field for the next morning, girlfriend?” he asked.

“It would scare all of our classmates,” said Tracy Majesty.

“I shall call upon the Holy Spirit to bring his cleansing winds to clean up our football field, Tracy,” said Flanders.

“It looks horrible there in the night.  It would look nauseating there in the day,” she said.

And Flanders Nickels called upon the Holy Ghost, and the purifying winds came up, and the remains of Maul were taken away from the Earth.  And all was normal here in Braisher Field once again.  And cheerleader and boyfriend hugged in the Lord in rejoicing.

“Gray griffins do see in the dark,” she said in tease.

“It seems so, girl,” he said in self-effacement.  And both laughed.

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CHAPTER XI

It was girls’ day out at Voyageur Park for the De Pere Redbird varsity football cheerleaders.  They were in their full cheerleader uniforms having girl fun down by the docks of this Fox River.  Tracy and her squad of eight were hopping and prancing and skipping about in the grass, on the sidewalk, and upon the docks.  As the head varsity cheerleader, Tracy Majesty oversaw eight other cheerleaders.  And these eight other cheerleaders were the other Tracy, and Destiny, and Lizzy, and Heidy, and Jenny, and Laury, and Jody, and Penny.  Here in the main section of Voyageur Park, right alongside of the river was a wide sidewalk.  At the very edge of this sidewalk and up against the waters

was a raised cement barrier about six inches high and six inches wide.  Three-foot high cement pillars also dotted this shore upon this barrier.  Above the river, and all along this shore in this main section of park was a long swaying wooden dock.  This long dock was parallel to the sidewalk and about one foot from land.  And, extending farther out into the river from this parallel dock, were several little perpendicular piers.  These piers were also made of wood, and they also swayed in the water—up and down and left and right– and with many creaks and squeaks.

“Girls,” called forth Tracy Majesty, “shall we put on a show?”

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“Let us put on a show, Tracy!” said the eight other cheerleaders.

“Who wants to go first?” asked Tracy.

“I would like to go first this time, Tracy,” said the other Tracy.

“Show your cheerleader stuff, Tracy,” said Tracy Majesty.

And the other Tracy began to dance down along this edge above the river, shaking her pom poms, and cheering.  As she cheered, she most adroitly hopped from the sidewalk across to the main dock and back to the sidewalk and back to the main dock, without missing a step or stumbling or falling into the river, all along this span of shoreline.  And this was the cheer she sang:

“We’re #1, not 2, not 3, not 4

We’re #1, not 2, not 3, not 4

We’re #1, not 2, not 3, not 4

We’re #1!”

 

Then she spun in place upon the dock, her skirt pleats rising to the level of her waist, and she stopped spinning, and her pleats fell back down upon her legs.  And she leaped back upon the sidewalk with both legs.  And she raised her pom poms in victory.  And she said “Number one!”

And seven cheerleaders cheered, “Bravo!”

And Tracy Majesty cheered, “Amen!”

Next Destiny went forward to cheer lead before her fellow cheerleaders.  Her pom poms held against her hips where she stood upon the sidewalk, Destiny went ahead and performed a complete cartwheel out onto the dock, landing squarely upon her feet, her pom poms still held against her hips.

Then she ran out onto the edge of one of those little piers, turned back to face her audience, and stretched her arms outward to both sides, her hands holding her pom poms and shaking them.  And Destiny sang her cheer:

“We’re fired up to win

We’re fired up to win

We’re fired up, We’re fired up

We’re fired up to WIN!”

 

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“Ooo!  Ooo,” praised seven cheerleaders.

“Do I hear an ‘Amen?’” asked Tracy Majesty.

“Amen!” said the eight cheerleaders watching.

Next came Lizzy to perform her cheer here on cheerleaders’ day out together:   Standing upon the low cement barrier, she tossed both pom poms high up into the sky, and she leaped backward with both feet across the one-foot-wide span of water between barrier and dock, landing evenly upon her feet upon the dock, then looked up, and raised both hands, and she did catch her falling pom poms, one in each hand where she stood.  And Lizzy sang a cheer as she stood there, facing her audience:

“The cookie monster

says that the Redbirds are

the great big cookies

at the top of the jar.

The cookie monster says

that the other team is

the little bitty crumbs

at the bottom of the jar.”

 

Her pom poms held against her sides, she raised and lowered first her left leg, then her right leg.

“Mm mm!” said the seven about cookies.

“Mm mm!,” said Tracy Majesty.

“Amen!” said the eight.

Next Heidy gave her cheerleader demonstration of the day.  She held both pom poms straight downward at her sides just above her knees where she stood upon the sidewalk.  Facing her audience, she then raised her left foot and stood upon her right foot.  She then leaped backwards with her right foot and did land perfectly up upon the cement barrier, raising her pom poms to above her head as she did so.   She then set back down her left foot and did now raise her right foot.  Still holding her pom poms above her head, Heidy next leaped backwards with her left foot from the low barrier back to upon the dock, lowering her pom poms back to the sides of her knees as she did so.  And she stuck this

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landing upon the dock perfectly as well. And Heidy sang forth this cheer:

“We don’t mess around (no-oh)

We don’t mess around (no-way)

We don’t mess around

We just (ah) get down!”

 

“Amen?” asked the seven.

“Amen!” said Tracy Majesty.

“Amen!” said the seven.

Jenny was next to show off her cheerleader prowess.  Standing upon one of those cement pillars three feet in the air, her back toward her audience, Jenny tossed her right pom pom out toward the adjacent pier beyond the main dock, and she leaped off of the cement pillar out toward that pier, shaking her pom pom in her left hand as she did so.  And her feet landed with a perfect stick way out upon that pier.  And just as she did so, she reached out her right hand and did catch the thrown right pom pom before it could land upon this pier.  And Jenny sang this cheerleader chant:

“Open up the barnyard, kick out the hay

we’re the girls from the USA

Turn on the radio, who do you hear?

It’s De Pere Cheerleaders singing a cheer

we’re gonna F-I-G-H-T

we’re gonna F-I-G-H-T

we’re gonna fight, fight, fight

for VICTORY!”

 

“Hay! Hay! Hay!” cheered the head cheerleader Tracy, caught up in this show also.

Also enjoying this fun, the other seven said, “Hey! Hey! Hey!”

“How about an, ‘Amen,’ guys?” asked Jenny.

“Amen!” said the eight other cheerleaders.

Next Laury stepped up to the plate.  Her arms akimbo and her hands holding on to her pom poms, Laurie said, “I am a Redbird cheerleader first and a Redbird girl gymnast second.” And Laury began a whole series of forward somersaults in the air from one end of the main dock all the way to the

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other end of this main dock.  And all this tumbling run, her arms stayed akimbo, and her pom poms stayed upon her hips.  Then she let fall her pom poms to the sides of her feet, extended her arms out toward her cheerleader audience, pointing with her index fingers, and did sing this cheerleader chant:

“We’re Dynamite, We’re Dynamite.

We’re tick, tick, tick, tick

Boom, Dynamite Boom, Dynamite”

 

Having cheered this, Laury then picked back up her pom poms, and she performed another tumbling

 

pass back down this dock all the way back, this time in all backward somersaults in the air, again

 

holding her pom poms the same way.  And done with this show, she again let fall her pom poms toward

 

her feet, and again pointed to her fellow cheerleaders, and did sing a second cheer for them:

 

“We’re #1, We can’t be #2

cause we’re gonna beat the whoopsies

our of you!”

 

“Great job, girl!” called out the seven other cheerleaders and their head cheerleader.

“There’s nothing like a cheerleader’s song,” said Tracy Majesty.  “It is as magical as a hymn.”

“’Amen’ to that,” said the eight others.

“Praise the Lord!” said Miss Majesty.

Next Jody’s turn came up to show off her stuff.  Doing the novel, as all of these cheerleaders were doing today, Jody put her right foot upon the dock and her left foot upon the cement barrier.  She then bent her arms at a ninety degree angle and held her pom poms on both sides of her head a foot away from her ears.  And with a one hundred eighty-degree turn in the air, Jody landed just right, now facing the other direction, now her left foot upon the dock and her right foot upon the barrier.  She did

not fall in the water in the twelve inches of space in between.  The pom poms still held up at right angles, she then shook them and did the same leap again, one hundred eighty degrees back.  And she now faced her original side.  Her feet stuck this tricky landing perfectly again this time.  She shook her pom poms still to the sides of her head.  Then she said, “Gals, how about three hundred sixty degrees

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this time?”  They applauded in clapping.  And Jody attempted it and landed it.  Her sneakers neither wavered, nor did she slip into the narrow open space above the river between.  Shaking her pom poms once again away to the sides of her head, Jody chanted her cheer song now:

“Bang, bang, choo choo train

come on Redbirds do your thing

get it, get it, get it, get it

got it, got it, got it, got it

woo!  And let it roll!”

 

“Choo choo!” all eight others said.  “Choo choo!”

And their head cheerleader said, “Praise God, Jody!” in kudos for her performance.

Then came up Penny to show off her cheerleader prowess.  And she said, “Forgive me for saying this, but I am a Redbird girl gymnast first and a Redbird cheerleader second.”  But her fellow cheerleaders were not offended.  Penny was the main reason that last year the De Pere girl gymnasts took home the state championship trophy.  And Penny went out into the green grass hill just beyond the sidewalk.  She stood there, holding her pom poms upward at a forty-five degree angle.  And she began to sprint down the hill as if she were running down the runway in a vault in girls’ gymnastics.  She sprinted right in toward a cement pillar, leaped up and onto the pillar, and then performed a full-twisting layout up and off of the pillar in a mighty leap as of off of the vaulting horse.  This Penny flew over ten feet high in the air, her pom poms still at their forty-five degree angles.  And she stuck her landing with what could only be a perfect ten.  She then turned back to her audience, shook her pom poms still at their same angle, and she sang a chant of cheer she had learned:

“De Pere is our name,

Football is our game.

Maroon is our color, White is the other

oh, you think you’re bad

uh, I know I’m bad

oh, you think you’re bad

uh, child please!”

 

Her fellow eight cheerleaders all said, “Bravo to our best gymnast!  We are lucky to have you

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cheering our team to victory!”

The head cheerleader Tracy said. “God bless our Redbirds!”

There was one last cheerleader of these eight here at Voyageur Park who had not yet cheered.

She was the most popular girl of De Pere High School.  And she was their head cheerleader.

“Tracy, your turn now,” the other eight told her.

“I’m been practicing my hardest cheer leading performance alone with Flanders.  I think that I

got it down right now.  Shall I try it now in front of all of you?” asked Tracy Majesty.

“Why, of course, ‘Amen’ to that, girl!” said her cheer leading squad.

“Okay.  Here goes,” she said.  “But I shall be doing my cheer song at the same time I will be doing my cheer skit.”

And the Redbird’s head varsity football cheerleader went on to present the greatest cheer lead of this whole day at the park:  This gifted sophomore, holding her pom poms behind her back, walked with authority up to the top of the hill of green grass right up there, paused, and prayed for the glory of God with this stunt she was about to perform.  Then she set down her pom poms on the grass, turned herself upside-down, and stood up on her hands.  Then she lifted up her left hand from the grass and did balance herself upside-down on only her right hand.  Then she reached for her pom pom on her left side with her left hand, grabbed it, prepared herself, and tossed it upward.  And, just as she wished, she did catch it upon the sole of her left sneaker up in the air.  And her steady body kept it there.  Then she put her left hand back down upon the ground.  And she then took away her right hand from the grass.

And she balanced herself with her left hand only upon the earth.  And she reached for the pom pom on her right side with her right hand, grabbed it, prepared herself, and tossed this one upward as well.

And she caught this one with the sole of her right sneaker as well, as she had thus practiced.  And her sure upside-down frame kept it up there.  And she put back down upon the earth her right hand.  Tracy Majesty was holding her pom poms thus now in a way that no other cheerleader had ever held her pom

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poms.  She steadied herself in a brief pause.  Then this most talented head cheerleader began to walk on her hands down this long hill of green grass toward the others, making sure not to drop her pom poms off of the bottoms of her sneakers.  And as she did this, she cheered her cheer song:

“Redbirds got the beat of the

game

The beat, beat, beat, beat, beat

of the game.

Redbirds got the beat of the

game

The beat, beat, beat, beat, beat

of the game.

Redbird…power…ooo…ooo”

 

And, singing this football cheer, Tracy Haley Majesty, successfully walked down this whole hill on her hands without dropping her cheerleader poms off of her cheerleader sneakers.  And upon reaching the bottom, she performed a grand finale.  And she sprang up with her arms back right-side up, caught her two falling poms poms in her hands, and stuck her cheerleader landing just right upon her feet.

“Well, fellow cheerleaders, did that give any glory to God?” she asked, beaming.

And they all said, “You could win the state championship for cheer leading, O Tracy!”

“To my Jesus I give the glory!” said Miss Majesty.

And right after this, the football cheerleaders began to hop about and to skip about and to prance about the park once again in great festivity and felicity.

Tracy Majesty then called out, “Do we cheerleaders rule?”

But the other Tracy said, “Our quarterback said in our school newspaper that our pom pom girls rule.”

“Not the pom and dance team,” said one of the other cheerleaders.

“That’s the last time that I will cheer for him,” said another of the cheerleaders.

“On our cafeteria bulletin board our star running back had a note that said, ‘Pom pom girls are sexier than cheerleaders,’” said another cheerleader.

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“Our pom and dance team girls are all dogs,” said yet another cheerleader.

“For now on I will quit cheering when he runs downfield,” said another cheerleader.  “I hope he goes backwards.”

And another cheerleader said, “Did you hear what our tall wide receiver said in the talent show in our auditorium?  He said that those pom pom girls shake their pom poms much better than the cheerleaders shake their pom poms.  What a thing to say about us!”

“Pom and dance team girls can’t cheer!” said another cheerleader.

“For now on, when he catches the ball, I will boo him and not cheer him,” said another insulted cheerleader.

“They should talk—the De Pere pom pom girls.  When was the last time they won the state championship for their dancing?” scoffed another put out cheerleader.  “The West De Pere pom and dance team on the other side of the river won trophies for lots of state championships.”

“Even our varsity football coach says that fans come to see his pom pom girls and not his cheerleaders,” said another disgruntled cheerleader.

“His pom pom girls?  His cheerleaders?” asked another jealous cheerleader.

“Our principal wants to create a fund drive just for the pom and dance team.  He thinks that lots of people will donate to his cause,” said another envious cheerleader.

“How come he does not think about us cheerleaders when it comes to creating a fund drive?” cried out another unhappy cheerleader.

“Probably because he thinks that no one will give to our cause,” said another self-pitying cheerleader.

Fearful of the hornet’s nest she stirred up in having given that exhortation that backfired on her, Tracy Majesty said, “I pray that I am not going to lose you gals.  I care for you.  And we need each other.”

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“I won’t betray you, Tracy,” said the other Tracy.  “I want to stay a cheerleader no matter what!”

The others all agreed with her.

“You girls won’t run away to join our school’s pom and dance team” asked their Christian head cheerleader.

“I refuse to ever become one of them,” said the other Tracy.  The others all agreed with her.

“I still say, despite all these rumors today that I suddenly hear about, girls, that we cheerleaders still rule De Pere High School when it comes to winning the handsome boys out there,” declared Tracy Majesty.

She knew something that she had to share with her fellow cheerleaders of whom she was their head.  And they waited for her to say that which was on her mind.

“Is not Flanders Nickels the biggest hunk of De Pere High, girls?” asked Tracy Majesty.

“Yes!  Yes!” said all eight other cheerleaders at once and in unison and in complete accord.

“He is my boyfriend-in-the-Lord,” said Miss Majesty.  “And he tells me something about us cheerleaders all the time.”

“What does he tell you?” asked the cheerleader squad here at Voyageur Park.

“Flanders always says, ‘Cheerleaders rule!’” confided Tracy.

“If Flanders says it, it is true!” said the rest of the cheerleaders here.

“We cheerleaders rule then!” said Tracy the head cheerleader.

“We cheerleaders do rule!” cheered the Redbird varsity football cheerleaders in great shout of proclamation here at Voyageur Park.

Tracy thus, in this verity, took away her cheerleaders’ animosity toward the pom pom girls.

And God was well pleased with His cheerleader daughter.

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CHAPTER XII

Tracy was alone in her bedroom, praying to God in most sweet reminiscing prayer.  She was remembering with God upon the day she and Decade had first found each other when she was yet a little girl.  It had been a happy day in a happy life for this young woman.  And she prayed a line out loud to God in her fervency upon nostalgia:  “Thank You, Good Lord, for him.”  And she continued praying in fervor of thanksgiving to the Giver.  The following is a narrative of that first day together for mistress and pet winged unicorn:

Dad wanted a kitten.  Mom wanted a puppy.  Tracy wanted a baby unicorn.  The rest of the family said, “Dad, if we get a kitten, it will grow up to be a cat, and cats are aloof; they do not return love; they keep themselves at a distance from their human family.”

And the rest of the family also said, “Mom, if we get a puppy, it will grow up to be a dog, and dogs bite.  And they bark.  And they shed.  And they make messes of both kinds.”

This rest of the family also said, “Tracy, if we get a baby unicorn, it will grow up to be a grown-up unicorn; and then it will have a horn.  Remember the unicorn that ran amok in Lena?  It got rabies and went around and speared people through with his unicorn horn.”

To all of this, Dad could only say, “Yes.  Cats seem to be aloof.”

 

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And Mom could only say, “Dogs can be a lot to take care of.  It’s almost like having another kid.”

And Tracy went and said something that she thought would be good for her cause:  “It doesn’t have to be a baby unicorn.  It can be a grown-up unicorn.” Though her rebuttal was no concession, it made sense as a good argument in her young girl’s eyes to the charges made by her family against having a unicorn.

And it changed the minds of her brothers and sisters, much to her delight.  Her brothers all said,

“Mom and Dad, let’s get an adult unicorn.  We can touch its horn.”

And her sisters all said, “Mom, Dad, we promise not to let our big unicorn get rabies.  Can we get a pet big unicorn?”

Mom and Dad looked at each other.  Mom said, “We shall leave that to your father.”

Dad said, “Tracy, if we do go and get our family a pet unicorn, we will need to take care of it.”

“I promise to take care of it, Dad,” said Tracy.  “Can it be mine?  Can I have it for my own?”

Dad looked at the rest of the family.  Their turned away faces betrayed their unwillingness to take on responsibilities that go on with adopting a pet unicorn into the family.  Mom was already fully occupied in her role as a stay-at-home mother.  Dad was already fully occupied in his role as the breadwinner going to work for a living.  Her brothers and sisters, she could tell by looking now, wanted a pet unicorn only for the fun of it without having to do the work that comes along with being a master or a mistress of a pet unicorn.

Dad said, “Tracy, you can have a pet unicorn only as long as you take full responsibility as its mistress.  If you start to leave things go, and the unicorn does not get disciplined as a domesticated unicorn must get from time to time, and you begin to get lazy as its mistress, we will have to return your unicorn back into the wild.  Do you understand?”

“I do, Dad,” she said. “And I promise to be the best little girl mistress that any grown-up

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unicorn ever had.”

Dad could tell that his little daughter meant all of what she had just said.  He knew that he could trust her as this new pet’s mistress.  And he said to all the family, “We are getting a unicorn.”  And then he said, “But, do not forget this one thing:  This unicorn shall be Tracy’s unicorn.”

And the next day, Mom and Dad and little Tracy went out looking for an adult unicorn to adopt into the family.  Dad knew of a unicorn keeper up in Aurora, Wisconsin, in Florence County.  This man’s name was Keeper Shire.  And to Keeper Shire did these three go.

Tracy the cheerleader in her bedroom with God now remembered having stood in the back of Keeper’s back yard with him and Mom and Dad.  They were standing at the foot of a most steep and tall little hill.  She saw a makeshift wooden staircase outside here upon the ground that climbed up this very steep little hill.  Keeper said, “This is my ridge.”  This ridge was an additional backyard that lay beyond his level backyard.  “They’re all up on my ridge,” said Keeper, referring to his many unicorns.

“Shall we go and see?”

And the keeper began to climb these old outdoor steps, and Tracy and Mom and Dad followed him up toward this ridge.  This little girl’s head filled with wonder, the wonder that comes with falling in love.  The keeper said, “One can see the Pine Mountain ski jump from my ridge.”  And right away they were atop.

Behold, a dozen pure and glistening and noble white unicorns running around up here with the spirit of joy and game and freeness.  They were all happy, as their keeper was happy.  And they all said at once now, “We bless you in the name of the Lord, O keeper.”

And their keeper said, “May God bless you twelve likewise.”

And all twelve unicorns came bounding up to him and then dutifully lined up in a single file line to present themselves to their three guests.  They could tell that one of them might well become adopted into a new family this very day.  And Keeper Shire said, “This little girl wants a unicorn.”

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Happy here with their keeper and happy with this little girl before them now, all twelve unicorns said, “Let it be me.”

Little Tracy had twelve unicorns with which to choose.  Each one would have made a great pet.  She wanted the one who would be the perfect pet.  And she went on to evaluate with her eyes.  Six of them had wings; six of them had not wings.  Did she want to ride a unicorn both in the air and on the ground?  Or did she want to ride a unicorn only on the ground?  This little girl wanted to fly.  And Tracy pondered the six winged unicorns with evaluation.  Three of the winged unicorns had shorter horns; three of the winged unicorns had longer horns.  The good and benevolent master went on to tell her, “The ones with the shorter horns are the female unicorns, and the ones with the longer horns are the male unicorns.”  Did she want to kiss a short horn, or did she want to kiss a long horn?  She wanted a unicorn with a longer horn.  She decided upon having a male unicorn as pet.  And little Tracy pondered these three unicorns in evaluation.

Tracy Majesty spoke to the first one of these three male winged unicorns, asking him with most adult critique, “If you let me become your mistress, would you ever leave me to come back to your wonderful life here on the ridge?”

This candidate thought for a long moment and then said, “I can not tell.”

This one would never do for little Tracy.  Next Tracy went on and asked the second one of there three final candidates the same question, asking, “Do you like it here on this ridge so much, that you might run away from me and come back here to live once again?”

This candidate thought for a while, then gave his reply, “I do not know.”

This one could never do for little Miss Majesty.  She then turned to this third candidate of these final three, herself worried about the answer that this last choice would give her to her question.  This time the girl hesitated to pop the question.

Lo, before she could ask, this last chance unicorn pet went on to tell her, “I love it here with my

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master, but I shall love it more with you as my mistress.”

With the maturity of a grown-up in a girl’s body, little Miss Majesty pressed this matter further to make sure, asking him, “Do you promise to never forsake me and run away with anyone else?”

“I shall never come back to this paradise of ridge again,” he said.  “My paradise must now be with you and your family.”

“Do you love me?” she asked.

“I love you now even more than I did my very good keeper all of my life,” said this unicorn.

This one would do!  This was the right pet for her!  Here was her unicorn waiting for her to ask him in unto her family.  And she right away did so,  She asked “Could I be your mistress?”

And he said, “Your humble unicorn gives himself in service to you.”  This was a, “Yes!”

And at once the little girl Tracy Majesty came up to where this gallant and stately unicorn did stand.  He did lower his head in obeisance to her, proffering his long unicorn horn before her.  And Tracy leaned toward his face and did kiss him on his unicorn horn.  And he smiled in his eyes at her.

She then asked him, “What is your name?”

And he said, “My name in my ten years here on this ridge is ‘Seraph.’”

“Are you ten years old then, Seraph?” she asked.

“I am, O Mistress,” he said.

“Ten years is a decade,” she said.

“That it be, Mistress,” he said.

“May I call you for now on, ‘Decade?’” she asked.

“You may,” he said.  “I like that name.  It suits me well.  It is a most masculine name.”

“For now on you shall be ‘Decade,’” said little Tracy.

“My new mistress, what is your name?” asked Decade.

“My name is ‘Tracy,’” said little Miss Majesty.

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“Tracy,” said her new unicorn.  “That’s a pretty name and a feminine name.  It resonates.”

“Is ‘resonate’ a good thing?” asked Tracy.

“Yes, O mistress,” said Decade.  “That means that it sounds like music.”

“Why, thank you for that, kind Decade,” she said with a curtsy.  And she reached up her arms and held him lovingly and kissed him in most sweet affection.  That was how she and Decade had first found each other and began their lives together and mistress and pet.

“Thank You again, O Lord,” she prayed here in her bedroom alone with God.  And she finished her prayer of the day now, “In Jesus’s name.  Amen.”

 

Flanders Nickels was alone with Year underneath the weeping willow in his front yard.  He had his Bible with him and they were discussing Scripture in fellowship.  Flanders was teaching his winged horse some doctrines of eschatology from Revelation chapter nineteen.  “Eschatology begins with the rapture.  After the rapture happens, things go even better for the believers, and things go much worse for the unbelievers.”

“For forever.  Right, Master?” she asked.

“Yes, girl,” he said.

“What does Revelation 19 say. O Master?” asked Year.

“It talks about the Second Coming of the Lord,” said Flanders. “Look at what God says in His Word there.”

Year looked into his Bible, read some of it and said, “My, my, so many names for our Jesus in just a few verses there.  Jesus is called ‘Faithful’ and ‘True’ and ‘The Word of God,’ and ‘KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.’”

“Yes, girl.  And when Jesus comes in His Second Advent, He will come riding a white horse,” said Flanders.

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“I am a white horse,” said Year.  Then she asked, “When Jesus comes back to Earth, riding His white horse, will He be coming from Heaven?”

“Yes, O Year,” said Flanders.

“His horse will be a flying horse,” said Year.  “Does that horse have wings as I have, do you think, Master?”

“The Bible does not say,” said Flanders.

“The Lord’s horse can fly with or without wings,” surmised Year.

“And I and all the rest of us believers in Heaven will be coming back to Earth with God,” said Flanders.

“Will you be riding a white horse also, my master?” asked Year.

“Yes, girl.  I shall,” said Flanders.  “Look at verse fourteen.”

His white winged she-horse looked into this Revelation chapter nineteen and did read verse fourteen out loud for herself, “And the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean.”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” asked Flanders.

“Yes, I am, Master,” she said.  “Could I be the horse upon which you ride when you come back with Christ at that time?”

“The Bible does not say,” said Flanders.  “But I hope that it can be you, O girl,”

“I hope to be your horse then as I am now, my master,” said Year.

“I remember when I had first seen my first look at you way up in the air above that lake long, long ago, dear Year,” said Flanders Nickels in remembrances of old.

“I remember when I first saw you, then as a little boy, there standing in the edge of the lake and pointing toward something out in the lake,” said Year.

“Young’s Lake,” said Flanders.

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“Yes.  Young’s Lake,” said Year.

“Pembine,” said Flanders.

“Pembine,” said Year.  “In northern Wisconsin.”

“I was visiting my cousins who lived there,” said Flanders.

“And I was on a journey to get away from my mistress for a little while,” said Year. “I was just passing by overhead.”

“First I saw something in the lake way out there that was never there before.  Second I saw a real living winged horse flying by way up in the sky.  Third, I pointed to that strange object that I could not recognize that was there in the water,” said Flanders.

“Then, fourth, you called up to me, ‘Pretty horse, I want that!”

“I remember that now, girl,” said Flanders.  “I guess that I thought that you could get that and bring it to me.”

“It ended up being a metal drum,” said Year.  “When I flew down and lighted upon it, it rolled in the water underneath my hooves.  I had to lift my wings so as to not fall into the lake.  And I could tell that it was empty.”

“I asked you if you would bring to me at the shore,” said Flanders.  “I could not swim myself, and the lake was deep.”

“I then called out to you, ‘It’s a metal barrel!’” said Year.

“And I then called back, ‘Could you bring me the metal barrel, pretty white horse?’” said Flanders in reminiscence.

“I did not know what to do with such a strange request given a winged horse,” said Year.  “I never did anything like that before.”

“But then I said, “I’ll buy you a box of sugar cubes if you do.  Horses like sugar cubes.  Don’t they?’” remembered Flanders out loud now with Year.

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“And I did say to you, ‘All horses like sugar cubes, young lad—especially we horses who fly,’” relived Year with Flanders.

“We made a deal,” said Flanders.  “You bring me the barrel; I give you sugar cubes.”

“And I had to find out how to do my share of the bargain,” said Year.  “I had to make a plan.  I could not carry it on my back and fly to you.  It would fall off at once.  I could not put it between my two front legs and fly to you.  My legs could not carry it far, mine being horse legs. Nor could I carry it on my back and swim to you.  It would fall into the water, of course.  I could not swim toward you and hold it in any other way.  If I pushed it with my head as I swam, that would hurt my head.  I could not kick at it with my legs were I to swim and keep kicking.  That would take for ever.”

“But the little boy had the right idea.  Didn’t he, girl?” asked Flanders.

“You told me to ride the barrel as a barrel walker,” said Year.

“And that you did,” said Flanders.

“That was a most worthy idea at that, O Master,” said Year.  “With my unfurled wings for balance and with my sure legs of youth and with my much used hooves, I went and walked the barrel all the way to shore where you were waiting for me and the barrel.”

“And you did not fall down even one time into the lake,” bragged Flanders on most agile Year.

“And as soon as I and the barrel got there, you grabbed the barrel in both of your little arms and lifted it up to land, and you fell in love with it,” said Year.

“I do remember having hugged the barrel first and having hugged you second,” confessed Flanders.

“That’s okay, Master,” said Year with a laugh.  “I’m still here with you, and the barrel is long gone.”

Here under the weeping willow sharing sweet nostalgia of their first day together, master and pet continued with their good story with the happy ending.  The following narrative sums it up:  This

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winged horse in flight was fleeing her unkind mistress.  Her mistress loved her parrot and her myna bird, but did not love her winged horse.  She loved her two talking birds, because they repeated after her every thing that she did say.  She hated her winged horse, because she would not repeat after her everything she spoke, even though she were a horse that could talk.  This woman loved to hear her own voice.  And this woman loved to hear her own words repeated by her parrot and myna bird even more so.  And, because her she-horse did not please her vain small-minded mistress, she gave her a most repugnant name.  And that name was Gorgon.  When Flanders asked what ‘Gorgon’ meant, Gorgon told him that that was a threesome of snake-haired sisters in Greek mythology whose appearance turned beholders into stone.  “Yick!” said Flanders to Gorgon. This woeful winged horse told Flanders that she wanted to have a new name.  Flanders said that maybe he could think of one for her that would be a nice name.  But she told him, that for winged horses, their name’s change could only become official by transfer of owners.  At once Flanders promised to adopt her as his new winged horse pet.  This sounded too easy for Gorgon.  This was not a grown man who was promising this.  This was a little boy who was promising this.  And he was under the care of a Mom and Dad who might not want a big white horse to take care of.

Prudent, Gorgon said, “First you must ask your parents.”

But this little boy said, “Mom and Dad have been looking everywhere for a good white horse with wings to adopt, but they are all taken.  Everywhere we went looking for a horse like you, their owners did not want to part with them.  And my whole family is discouraged.  Mom and Dad are about to give up.  They want a winged horse mainly for me.”

“Is that really so?” asked this lonely winged horse.  “Is this too good to be true for me?”

“What I said is as real as this barrel that came from the lake,” said little Flanders.

“This barrel is true.  Your words are true.  You are true,” said Gorgon.

“Would you become my pet winged horse?” asked Flanders.

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In acceptance of this new life and in acknowledgment of her new master, this white winged horse said, “I am ever at your service.”

And the little boy reached out and touched one wing in great wonder.  Then he went around and touched the other wing in great wonder.  “This is the happiest day of my life,” said young Flanders.

“This is my first birthday,” said this new horse pet.

“Today is your birthday?” asked the young lad.

“Yes, Master. I turned one year old today,” she said.

“One year,” said Flanders.

“A year,” she said.

“Could I call you that for a name then?” asked Flanders.

“My name is ‘Year?’” asked the winged horse.

“Is that all right with you?” asked little Flanders.

“I like it!  I like it!” she said.

“And your new name can be official, because you no longer have your old mistress, but now you have your new master,” said Flanders.

“And I like it!  I like it!” praised Year her new name.

And Flanders rode a winged horse for his first time back home to Mom and Dad’s.  And Mom and Dad and the rest of the family instantly fell in love with Year.  The very next day, on Flanders’s and

Year’s first full day together, Flanders went and bought her that promised whole box of sugar cubes with coins from his piggy bank.  And young master and young pet shared them together, one cube at a time, until they were both full.

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CHAPTER XIII

Flanders and Tracy were on a date together, riding their equines on the ground.  They had just left Bomier Street Park and were cantering down Fox River Drive going south.  Flanders enjoyed the pleasant sound of hooves clomping upon the blacktop.  He kept looking at his cheerleader girlfriend to his right hand side upon her unicorn, and he was most well-pleased with her sixteen-year-old form and face.  He thought upon that day he had first discovered her.  Finding Christ his Saviour was his greatest discovery in life.  Finding Tracy his cheerleader girlfriend was his second greatest discovery in life.  Finding Year his pet winged horse was his third greatest discovery in life.

When he had first discovered Tracy Majesty it was when they were both De Pere Middle School students.  Of course, as he knew and as all four of these travelers knew, he had discovered her as a cheerleader.  Being a middle school cheerleader, her uniform was not so grand as a high school cheerleader’s uniform.  But it still stole his heart, and it still shone in maroon and white delightfully.

He had not known any girlfriend before Tracy.  He had not had any crush on any girl before Tracy.  He did not desire romance before Tracy.  This Tracy was his first crush.  And he made his great discovery when he went to his school’s wrestling match, and, lo, there she was—tall and thin and dressed like a

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young siren!  Flanders now discovered girls.  And he at once wanted her as his girlfriend.  But he did not know how to go about doing this.  He did not stop to think that what a boy needed to do to get a girl as his girlfriend, was to simply go up to her and ask her out for a date.  If she said, “Yes,” there, they would have their first date.  If she said, “No,” maybe next time.  Instead, Flanders, the Christian boy marvel of school, thought to become crafty.  He thought to think up something that would make him

look so attractive to her that she would have to go out with him.  He did not think well of coming up to her all at once and planting a kiss on her nose.  That would be too aggressive.  He did not think highly of running up to her and putting his arms all around her.  A hug would be too aggressive, too, for a girl who did not know him.  Maybe he could reach out his hand and flirt with a tug upon her pretty brown hair.  No.  She might think him to be a mean person for doing that.  He thought further.  And he came up with an idea.  He would ask his neighbor Tara how he could get Tracy for his own.  Tara and he were good friends these last few years.  Some of the things that he told Year, he could tell Tara.  And Tara was right there next to Tracy that day he had discovered Tracy.  His neighbor friend Tara knew all about Tracy, for Tara and Tracy were fellow wrestling cheerleaders.  She could tell him how to impress this Tracy.  To Tara he would go for advice.  And went next door to see her.

Tara said, “Flanders, you look different this time.”

“I think that I am in love, Tara,” he said with the fire of youth.

“I didn’t even know you liked girls,” she said.

“Now I do,” he said.

“You’ve got a crush on a girl?” she asked.

“Yes, I’ve found my first crush,” he said.  “And I was wondering if you could help me out.”

“What can I do?” she asked, willing to give out a girl’s advice.

“I need you to introduce me to her,” he said.

“I’d be glad to do that for you,” she said.  “If I do not get in the way.”

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“You won’t be in the way, Tara,” he said.  “You’re my friend.”

“Who’s the lucky girl?” she asked.

“It’s Tracy,” he said.

“Tracy?” asked Tara.

“Tracy Majesty,” he said.  “She’s beautiful.”

“She’s not seeing anyone else right now,” said Tara.

“I never thought about that,” he said.

“A boy needs to think about then before he asks a girl out,” said Tara.

“Well, at least I know that about her now,” he said.  “What do you think that I need to do to make her say, ‘Yes,’ when I ask her to become my girlfriend?”

“Flanders, before you ask a pretty girl to become your girlfriend, first you have to ask her to go out with you on a first date,” said Tara.

“You’re a wise girl, Tara,” said Flanders.

“I can see that you don’t know much about us girls,” said Tara.

“I didn’t even know how pretty they can be until just the other day at the wrestling tournament,” he said.

“Still waters flow deep,” she said a popular proverb of romance.

“What does that mean?” he asked.

“It is about your major crush on my friend,” said Tara.

“I could tell her that she is a desirable woman,” he said.  “That might make me a desirable man if I told her that.”

“That would be too much all at once,” said Tara.  “That might turn her off.  She is a girl and not a woman.  And you are a boy and not a man.”

“Maybe I can say to her, ‘Tracy, you are a desirable girl,’” said Flanders.  “And then I could ask

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her, ‘Do you find me a desirable boy?’”

“That would not be so bad as the former,” said Tara.  “But none of those things will work with Tracy.  I know her, Flanders.  Her first love in life is her cheerleader’s uniform.  If you say something good about that and not say anything macho about it, then she will like you, Flanders.”

“Mom and Dad told me days when they were still just going together,” said Flanders.  “Dad said that he gave her flowers all the time, and she learned to love him for that.  And Mom gave Dad boxes of chocolates all the time, and he fell in love with her for that.  I don’t like flowers myself; I would not want to buy flowers for Tracy.  I do like chocolates;  I could buy chocolates for Tracy.”

“Not so fast, Flanders,” said Tara.  “I know Tracy.  She doesn’t like flowers, either.  And she is making sure to keep her cheerleader form thin, and she is avoiding chocolates.”

Grandma and Grandpa have been married for fifty years, and they still go out on dates together,” said Flanders, seeking other brave new ideas.  Grandma and Grandpa go out on square dancing in the barn with all of the neighbors.  Maybe Tracy will go out with me if I invite her to one of these square dances.”

“What do you know about square dancing?” asked Tara.

“I know that I certainly do not know how to square dance,” said Flanders.

“Tracy doesn’t know how, either, Flanders,” said Tara.

“Scratch that idea,” said Flanders.  There were so many fun things that would be even more fun for Flanders if he could do them with this Tracy Majesty.  And Tara would come up with some thing in which he and Tracy would hit it off.

“We were talking about Tracy’s beloved cheerleader uniform a while back, Flanders,” said Tara.

“Uh huh,” he said.  “My favorite thing about Tracy Majesty.”

“You need to get your focus back upon that,” said Tara.  “You’ve got to say something complimentary about her cheerleader’s outfit, and you’ve got to mean it from your heart.”

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“Oh, Tara, I can find lots to say about that and say it from the heart,” said Flanders Nickels.  “Both Tracy Majesty and Tracy Majesty’s outfit for cheering have stolen my heart.”

“Go out to her and say it, Flanders,” she said.

Then Flanders went the next step beyond, and he said, “I can do better than complimenting her outfit.  Just wait and see how I can do better than that.  Oh Tara, the things that are going on in my head now.”

“What would be better in winning Tracy’s heart than saying good things about her cheerleader uniform, Flanders?” asked Tara.

“Wearing her cheerleader uniform, O Tara,” he said in bold brave new words.

“You would put on her cheerleader uniform?” asked Tara.  “What a crazy and wild idea!”

“Is it also a good idea, Tara?” he asked.

“I think it is, Flanders,” she said.  “I think that it is a great idea!  It is the trick that will do the work.”

“But how can I do that?  Everybody at school knows that Tracy Majesty never takes off her cheerleader uniform except to wash it,” said Flanders.

“Maybe if you stole it from the washer or dryer, when she is not looking,” said Tara.

“Maybe I can wear your cheerleader uniform, Tara,” he said.

“You mean the one I am wearing now?” she asked.

“I could borrow it just long enough to come up to her and ask her out,” he said.  “Would that be okay with you, Tara?  Then I can bring it back to you before the next wrestling match day.  Would that be all right with you?”

“I know Tracy.  Nothing would flatter her more than to have one of our guys coming up to her dressed exactly as she is,” said Tara.  “And if that guy were our school wonder boy, she would definitely say, ‘Yes,’ to you, Flanders.”

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“Do I dare tell her about Christ?” he asked.

“She does need to hear about God,” said Tara.

“If I try to tell this girl about the Lord, that might turn her away,” said Flanders.

“Flanders, I have never heard of you being afraid to witness to one of our unsaved students before,” said Tara.

“But I’m still trying to win your soul, Tara,” he said in excuse.

“Yeah.  And you never give up, Flanders,” she said.

“But this girl is different,” he said.

“You always keep telling me that Jesus died for everyone,” said Tara, “and that everybody needs the Saviour.”

“Yes, but this girl is special,” he said.

“Flanders, Tracy might want to hear you talk about Christ,” said Tara.

“But this girl is pretty!” said Flanders.  “If I start to share Christ with her, it might do more harm to my wishes than wearing your cheerleader uniform in front of her might do benefit to my wishes.”

“Flanders, I do believe for my first time that you are suddenly ashamed of the Lord now that you seek a girl in your life,” said Tara.  “You are more afraid of what Tracy would think than what God would think.  I never saw that kind of thing happen with you before.”

“What should I do?” he asked.

“Go and tell Tracy about Jesus,” said Tara.  “That would be the right thing to do.”

“I must tell Tracy about Jesus, myself dressed like herself?” asked Flanders.

“That would have to be better than not telling her about Jesus at all,” said Tara.  “I think.”

“Okay.  I’ll do it.  But I do not have rest about this,” he said.

“Do you want to try it on right now?” she asked.

“I cannot wait to try it on, O Tara,” he said.  “I feel more confident now.”

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“You and Tracy are both taller than I.  This might not fit you real well,” said Tara.

“That’s all right.  I want it on anyway,” said Flanders.

And the middle school Christian boy put on a middle school girl’s cheerleader uniform.  And he went out in search for his first girlfriend Tracy Majesty.  And he came to her house, his little pocket New Testament in his left hand.

Here on Year, Tracy on Decade, both riding together on Fox River Drive, Flanders amid his reflections of that first date of ago, said, “Tracy, remember that first time I came over to your house?”

“Yeah!  Yeah!” she said.  “What a sight there was when I opened the door and there you were.”

“What did you think?” he asked.

“I thought that you had forgotten God at first,” she said.  “Not every born-again believer dressed as you were on your first visit to me.”

“But then I showed you my little Bible in my left hand,” he said.

“I was glad to see the Bible,” she said.  “I was not quite sure what to make of the too-small cheerleader uniform.”

“You looked great in your cheerleader uniform,” he said.

“You looked kind of transgender in yours,” she said.

“Did I look feminine like you?” he asked.

“No.  You looked effeminate,” she said.

“I said then to you that Tara said that I should do that,’” he said.

“And I said, ‘How come, Flanders?’” said Tracy.

“And I said that Tara and I thought that that would convince to go out with me on a date,” said Flanders.  “I said after that that Tara said that if I came in your own kind of cheerleader uniform that that would flatter a cheerleader girl like yourself.”

“I would not say that it flattered me,” said Miss Majesty.

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“Ouch, I must have looked ghoulish standing there like that before you, Tracy,” said Flanders.

“Positively garish, Flanders,” she said.

“Yikes,” said Flanders.  “And I thought that I looked great in it.”

“Tara did not know everything about me then, Flanders,” said Tracy.  “That was the first time I had actually seen a transgender dresser like that,”

“What was Tara thinking?” asked Flanders.

“What were you thinking?” asked Tracy.

“All that I was thinking about was having you as my own girlfriend for the rest of our lives together,” he said.

“Were it not for that Holy Bible in your hand, I would not have let you into the house,” said Tracy.

“At least your Mom and Dad did not see me that day,” said Flanders, “and any of the rest of your family.”

“They were all away at the Brown County Arena at a dog show,” said Tracy.

“Decade saw me,” said Flanders.

“Decade saw you,” said Tracy.  “And he laughed.”

“Year laughed at me, too,” said Flanders.  “But she still brought me to your house anyway, even though she did so reluctantly.”

“I was looking forward to some good preaching that night when you came in,” she said.

“I remember how unsure I was all of a sudden with my words about God,” he said.

“You put your little Bible in your right hand then,” she said.

“And I saw my right hand that extended beyond my cheerleader sweater cuff start to tremble in nerves,” he said.

“You started to stare down at your pleats,” she said.

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“My cheerleader pleats,” he said in conviction.

“Tara’s cheerleader pleats,” said Tracy.

“I started to think now about the folly of my ways,” said Flanders.

“I was still waiting and hoping that you would open up your Bible and read to me,” said Miss Majesty.

“My conscience began to tell me, ‘How can a cheerleader girl believe preaching that comes from a cheerleader drag queen?’” said Flanders.

“You were only a drag queen for that one day in all of our years together since,” said Tracy.

“But I was one on our very first day together,” said Flanders.

“The things a guy would do for a girl,” said Tracy.  “I did then become flattered at all that you did to win my heart.”

“I raised my little Bible in the air in both hands,” said Flanders.

“You were about to witness to me for my lost soul,” said Tracy.

“And then I put the Bible back down,” he said.

“And you never picked it back up until you left for the day,” said Tracy.

“You were disappointed,  Weren’t you, Tracy?” he asked.

“I was disappointed, Flanders,” she said.  “In your years of De Pere Middle School you served God as a mighty soul-winner to all of us—except me.  I was just about the only one whom you did not tell about Jesus in all the school.  And then, when you had your best chance to change all of that—on our first date at my place that day—you panicked because you played this cross dresser for me.  And you did not say one word about God all that date.  And when you left after an hour, you picked up your

Bible, said nothing, and rode away.”

“I’m sorry, Tracy,” he said.

“I forgive you, Flanders,” she said.  “But it ended up all right in the end.  You asked me the big

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question–’Tracy, would you go out with me?’ and I said, ‘Yes,’ and we started dating.  And then you started telling me everything about Jesus.  And a year later, you led me to Christ in our football field all alone together.”

“I rushed home after that first date to ‘get some clothes on,’” he said.  “And I went right away to give back Tara her cheerleader’s outfit.  I scolded her and told her the good news.  And I never asked Tara for her clothes again.”

“Silly Tara,” said Tracy Majesty.

“Well, here we both are, riding our horses together, both of us now very much born-again Christians living for Christ,” said Flanders Nickels.

“Yes, both of us now,” said his cheerleader girlfriend.  “Everything is good.”

“But, Master,” broke in Year.  “Does not the Bible say that a Christian boy should not date a non-Christian girl?”

“Yeah, Mistress,” said Decade.  “You were dating Flanders for a year before you became a Christian.”

And boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ could say nothing after this wise rebuke from their two pets.

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CHAPTER XIV

Flanders and Tracy were on a date on their way to Blessed Hope Baptist Church again for Sunday School and for Sunday Morning Worship.

“Shall we go fast, Master?” asked Year.

“We are way early for church, girl,” said Flanders.  “If we take our time, we will still again be the first ones there.”

“I feel like galloping, Mistress,” said Decade.

“Usually you feel like flying,” said Tracy.

“I’ll walk then, Mistress,” agreed Decade.

The cheerleader girlfriend petted her he-unicorn upon his mane as she rode, and she said, “Flanders, I’m so glad that Pastor had come to De Pere.”

“Pastor asked God, ‘Lord, where do you want me to minister?’  And God said, ‘Go to De Pere.’

And, lo, here we get to have Pastor in our life,” said Flanders.

“As Pastor says it, ‘I followed God’s call to De Pere,’” said the cheerleader on her way to church.

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“Pastor Steadfast is as faithful a pastor as those heroes in Hebrews chapter eleven, God’s honor roll of the faithful,” said Flanders Nickels.

“Hebrews eleven,” said the cheerleader Christian.  “The faithful of that chapter:  Abel and Enoch and Noah and Abraham and Sara and Isaac and Jacob and Joseph and Moses and Rahab and Gideon and Barak and Samson and Jephthah and David and Samuel.  And now Pastor,”

“The ministry of a good Baptist church planter,” said Flanders.  “Before our days here, Pastor had begun to build up Blessed Hope Baptist Church from scratch.  He went out on deputation.  He sought financial supporters.  He started a Bible study in his home.  He then made his home the church.

Then he rented the De Pere Senior Citizen Center as the church.  Then we voted unanimously and bought our church building on Grant Street.  Each of these steps were steps of faith in God.  And God was faithful.  God is faithful.”

“And our pastor has a great sense of humor, too, always, Flanders,” said the cheerleader girl.

“He always sardonically says to me, ‘Flanders, the ministry would be all right if it weren’t for the people,’” quoted Flanders Nickels.

“Yes, Flanders.  And when you and Pastor go out to eat at McDonald’s every Saturday, what does he call it?” asked Tracy Majesty already knowing the answer.

“He calls ‘McDonald’s’ ‘the Baptist steakhouse.’” quoted Flanders.

“And I love it when he always says his saying about the good King James Bible.  Remember his rebuttal to those who say that the King James Bible is too hard to understand with all those ‘thees’ and ‘thous?’” said Miss Majesty.

“I want to hear you say it this time,” said Flanders.

And the cheerleader girlfriend quoted wise Pastor Steadfast, “’Thee’ is ‘you.’  ‘Thou’ is ‘you.’

‘I’ is ‘me.’  And ‘we’ is ‘us.’”

“And after that, he says, ‘If you get born again, then you’ll understand the Bible,’” quoted

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Flanders.

“I heard it said that the King James is written at a fourth-grade level,” said Miss Majesty.

“I believe it,” said Flanders.

“God did not write the New International Version,” said Tracy Majesty.

“Nor did God write the New King James Version,” said Flanders Nickels.

“Nor any of the other modern translations, either, Flanders,” said Tracy.

“No.  He did not,” agreed Flanders.

“As Pastor preaches,” quoted the cheerleader girl, “’The Bible does not need to be rewritten; it needs to be reread.’  Why should someone change something that is already perfect?”

“And remember what else Pastor says all the time from the pulpit,” said Flanders, “about missions.”

And wise Tracy again quoted wise Pastor:  “Missions is not a department of the church; it is the church.”

“Pastor’s first love is soul-winning,” said Miss Majesty.  “He lives the tract ministry.”

“As Pastor says about going out and giving out tracts,” said Flanders: “’Contact; opportunity; responsibility.’”

“Whether in season or out of season, as God says in II Timothy 4:2,” said Tracy.

“And our pastor is eager for the rapture as we are, Tracy,” said Flanders.

“As he preaches at church,” quoted the cheerleader, “’I’m not looking for Antichrist; I’m looking for Jesus Christ.’”

Flanders quoted Pastor’s other rapture saying, “’I’m not looking for the undertaker; I’m looking for the uppertaker.’”

“From my very first sermon I heard from him, Flanders, and all throughout my years at our good church, I can say with gladness that our Pastor is a hellfire and brimstone preacher,” said

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Tracy Majesty.

“Shall I say another of his proverbs that he made up, Tracy?” asked Flanders.

“I think that I know which one that will be,” said Tracy.

And Flanders quoted from Pastor again the quote that Tracy knew it would be, “’And all of the waters of the five Great Lakes cannot put out the fires of Hell.’”

“One can tell that Pastor Steadfast lives in Wisconsin by that, by the way he refers to the Great Lakes so near to us,” said Tracy.

“What if Pastor were a preacher in Europe instead?” asked Flanders.  “If he were, would he preach instead, ‘All of the waters of the Mediterranean Sea cannot put out the fires of Hell?’”

“That’s quite the thought, O Flanders,” said his cheerleader girlfriend.

“It is good for us of the flock that our pastor preaches the whole counsel of God, and not just what he wants to preach,” said Flanders.

“It is written in Acts 20:27,” recited Tracy Majesty, “’For I have not shunned to declare unto you all the counsel of God.’  The Apostle Paul did it.  Our Pastor Stedfast does it.”

“Our Pastor preaches to please God and not to please man,” said Flanders.

“As Pastor says about that,” quoted the cheerleader girl, “’My preaching may step on some toes,  but I am aiming for the heart.’”

“Pastor preaches to us what we need to know, and his sermons are meant only to help us,” said Flanders Nickels.

“And as all of the visiting missionaries say when they come to Blessed Hope Baptist Church,

‘God is in this church,’” quoted the grateful cheerleader.

“Pastor will surely earn the crown of glory to give back to Jesus in Heaven for the way he ministers to us,” said Flanders.  He then went on to say, “The crown of glory—the crown given to those pastors who are faithful to God’s call.”

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“I Peter 5:2-4, boyfriend,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.  And she went on to recite this verse:

“Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre; but of a ready mind; Neither as being lords over God’s heritage, but being ensamples to the flock.  And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away.”

“Amen to good Pastor Steadfast!” praised Flanders their shepherd of the flock.

“I’d bet that Pastor Steadfast, the way he lives for God, will not have just this one crown found in Scripture to give back to Jesus, but all five different crowns found in Scripture to give back to Jesus,” said the cheerleader girl.

“As for myself, ‘I so know that I am going to Heaven,’” proclaimed Flanders.  “But as for Pastor, ‘I know that he is so going to Heaven.’”

“The damned split Hell wide open,” said Miss Majesty.  “Pastor will split Heaven wide open.”

“We are here, Master,” said Year.

They were at church now.  No one else was anywhere around.  All was quiet.  And Decade said, “We are early again.”

Then Pastor and Emmy came riding up in their little wagon pulled by their old donkey.  “Maranatha!” called forth Pastor and Emmy.

“Maranatha!” called back the four early faithful ones.

And they came in unto Blessed Hope Baptist Church here on 645 Grant Street and made themselves at home.  Flanders looked around inside here and knew that this church was his happy “home away from home.”  He took in the most familiar interior of this church, and he was in great comfort here.  This was what he was admiring upon coming through the entrance door:

To his right and left were long coat racks with hangers and no coats or jackets; this was warm fall yet of the year.  A wooden shelf stretched across and above each of these two clothes poles.  And a

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little nook was here and a little nook was there between the coat racks and the front wall left and right.  Upon these two nooks were cushions.  At the end of this little foyer and above was an “EXIT” sign.  This floor to this foyer was solid light brown tiles.  And beyond this foyer, to the right were the bathrooms, ahead was the kitchen, and to the left was the auditorium.  Turning to this right from the exit sign, the ladies’ restroom was to the left, and the men’s restroom was to the right, and straight ahead was a bare wall with a bubbler. Going straight instead from the exit sign, one came the door to the kitchen, where was prepared fellowship dinners for after Sunday Morning Worship services from time to time.  Groups of four incandescent lights gave light to this kitchen.  Thin brown carpet covered this floor to the kitchen.  And a folding table and steel folding chairs were set up in its center.  And sundry kitchen appliances were set up along the walls.  And a little closet for supplies lay to the side of this kitchen.  Going to the left after passing the exit sign, one came to the auditorium itself.  There in the left side of the auditorium was the big half of the chairs of the church in rows and columns; and there in the right side of the auditorium was the small half of the chairs of the church also in rows and columns.  A wide aisle was maintained between the two groups of chairs for fire purposes.  These chairs had metal frames and cushions below and behind and two arm rests and a pouch in the back for Bibles and hymnbooks.  And they were light blue.  A lone such chair sat in the very back in the middle just for the usher, and the usher was Flanders.  To Flanders’s right where he sat here in the back of the auditorium was a large folding table full of Christian booklets and other Christian material free for the taking for any who so desired them.  Between this back table and the back wall in this auditorium were many folded up folding tables leaning upon their edges.  These were reserved for fellowship dinners.

This back wall to Flanders’s right was also the wall to the kitchen, and this wall had large windows covered up with drapes.  In the far back corner here in the right was the sound system with a chair.

Pastor did not see a need for a microphone for his preaching, so this sound system was never used.

To both sides of the rest of this auditorium, between the chairs and the two walls were heavy wooden

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movable dividers for the Sunday School classrooms for the kids.  Emmy had nice posters and decorations put up upon these panels all the time.  And while the kids had Sunday School in these little partitions, the adults had Sunday School in the front of the auditorium.  The dividers were opened up for Sunday School and closed back up for Sunday Morning Worship that came after.  In the front to the left was a piano and a piano bench.  In the front to the right was an organ and an organ bench.  Behind the piano was a little storage room with louver doors.  Behind the organ was another little storage room with louver doors.  Up in the very front in the center was the communion table made by a missionary builder.  Upon this table were the two collection plates and a cloth of gold material and a little pot of pussy willows.  Inscribed into the wood along its top front were the words, “In remembrance of me.”    Right now two church chairs were set up to both sides of this communion table.  This Sunday today was to be a celebration of the Lord’s Table, according to this church’s constitution.  One chair was to be for Pastor, who was overseeing Communion; and the other chair was to be for Deacon Gary, who was helping out in Communion.  This auditorium had no windows, and its floor was covered with dark beige carpet, and its lights were numerous fluorescent ceiling bulbs.  And big dark brown wood beams ran across the white plaster ceiling and ran down the white plaster walls.  Beyond this auditorium was the dais, from where Pastor preached.  This dais was covered in thick light beige carpet.  Left and right

were two steps with flat short hand rails connected to the walls beside them.  And in its center was the Pastor’s pulpit.  This was also made by that same missionary builder.  And upon it Pastor had his King James Bible and his hymnbook and several missionary letters and the church’s official salvation tract and the church covenant and constitution and his sermon notes.  To his left and to his flock’s right was a brass flagpole with the Christian flag.  And to his right and to his flock’s left was a brass flagpole with the American flag.  Behind Pastor along the far wall was a line of several church chairs for visiting speakers from which to approach the pulpit.  And there was a Bible verse in red construction paper letters and words taped on this back wall at the back of this dais, reading, “’As my Father hath sent me,

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even so send I you.’  John 20:21.”

Sunday School came and went for this Sunday.  And now the flock prepared for Sunday Morning Worship.  It was the Lord’s Table indeed today.  Pastor sat down in one of the chairs behind the pulpit.  Tracy sat down in the front row of the auditorium.  Flanders sat in the special chair for the usher.  And everyone respectfully honored the Lord with silence and preparation for the service where they sat.  A little more than fifty chairs filled this auditorium for a flock of about forty people.

Then Pastor got up and approached the pulpit.  And the service began.  Pastor had a word of prayer.  They sang some hymns, always in the hymns’ completeness.  Pastor said some announcements.

They gathered the offerings with a word of prayer—Flanders passing the plate and also praying the prayer.  Then the Communion began.  Pastor came down to the auditorium and stood next to his communion chair.  Deacon Gary came out of the main seating and sat at that other chair by the Communion table.  And Flanders went into the kitchen and brought up to this Communion table the brass tray of grape juice and the brass tray of unleavened bread, and he did set them upon the Communion table, and he returned to his seat in the back.

And Pastor began, “Open with me to I Corinthians 11 and read with me verses 23 to 32.”

And Pastor and his flock read this passage out loud together:  “For I have received of the Lord that which also I delivered unto you, That the Lord Jesus the same night in which he was betrayed took bread:  And when he had given thanks, he brake it, and said, Take, eat:  this is my body, which is broken for you:  this do in remembrance of me.  After the same manner also he took the cup, when he had supped, saying, This cup is the new testament in my blood:  this do ye, as oft as ye drink it, in remembrance of me.  For as often as ye eat this bread, and drink this cup, ye do shew the Lord’s death till he come.  Wherefore whosoever shall eat this bread, and drink this cup of the Lord, unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord.  But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup.  For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh

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damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body.  For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep.  For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged.  But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world.”

Pastor went on to preach the Lord’s Table:  “Communion is an ordinance of God. It is a remembrance ceremony.  It is a holy worship.  This unleavened bread is a symbol of the Lord’s body that was broken for us.  This Communion bread does not become the Lord’s body, as the Catholic church teaches.  We are not cannibals.  We are not eating Jesus here.   This bread is a symbol.  Also we do not use leavened bread, because ‘leaven’ in the Bible means, ‘type of sin.’  And this grape juice is a symbol of the shed blood of Jesus.  It is not Jesus’s real blood.  We are not drinking the Lord’s blood here in the Lord’s table.  This grape juice is a symbol.  And we use grape juice instead of wine, because the Bible says, ‘Do not drink wine or strong drink.’  Also, we are to examine ourselves in our hearts before we partake of the Lord’s Table.  If a man or woman or child partakes of Communion with unconfessed sin in his heart, he provokes the judgment of God.  In that passage we just read, it says that ‘many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep.’  That means that unconfessed sin before the Lord’s Table might brink weakness and sickness to that child of God.  And where it says, ‘and many sleep.’  that means that ‘many die.’  Before we partake of this ordinance we all have to have a silent prayer, asking God to search our hearts for any sin, and then we must confess it and forsake it in that silent moment of prayer. Let us now bow our heads and ask God to speak to us about this matter.”

Flanders bowed his head and prayed in silence.  And he confessed and asked forgiveness in this silence for having said a bad word at the Devil for his constant gray griffin attacks against him.  Flanders said in silence after this in this prayer, “In Jude nine it is written that we are not to bring a railing accusation against the Devil.  I’m sorry.  Forgive me.”

And in Tracy’s secret prayer, she confessed and asked forgiveness for having belittled the other Tracy lately among her cheerleader squad for not trying hard enough in their practices.  Tracy said in

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this silent prayer, “You say in I Timothy 3:6 that pride is the condemnation of the Devil.  My pride scorned my fellow cheerleader like the Devil.  I am sorry.  Forgive me my pride as head cheerleader.”

After a minute or two of this holy silence in the congregation, Pastor said, “Deacon Gary, would you now help out?”  Deacon Gary stood up from his special Lord’s Table chair to now help out in this communion service.  Pastor Steadfast handed him the plate of bread.  Deacon Gary then went out into the auditorium to hand the plate out to seeking hands.  When he came up to Flanders, Flanders took his piece as well.  This unleavened bread was a tiny little flat square of white crunchy bread.  Flanders and all the rest of the flock held their unleavened bread in their fingers, waiting for the time to eat it.  Then Deacon Gary was back at the Communion table, and he and Pastor took their piece.  And the deacon set down the little brass tray upon the Communion table and did stand there. “Would you pray now over the bread  Brother Gary?” asked Pastor.

And Brother Gary prayed, “Dear Lord, all us down here are dirty rotten sinners.  And You are pure and sinless.  And yet You are the one Who died for us.  We thank You for sacrificing Your perfect body to save us all from Hell.  In Jesus’s name, I pray.  Amen.”  And he sat back down.

“Amen,” said Pastor.  And Pastor read, “And when he had given thanks, he brake it, and said, Take, eat:  this is my body, which is broken for you: this do in remembrance of me.”

And Flanders ate his unleavened bread as did the rest of the flock their unleavened bread.  It tasted different from the regular white bread he ate at home.  It was supposed to.  But it was still pretty good.  Praise God for the sacrifice of the body of His Son on the cross long ago!

Then Brother Gary stood back up.  Pastor handed him the plate of grape juice.  And Gary went throughout the auditorium offering this grape juice to all who wanted to participate.  And when he came to Flanders, Flanders took out his own little cup as well.  It was indeed a most small plastic cup.  It looked small enough to be a cough syrup cup.  And its contents were dark purple.  And Flanders and everybody else held their little grape juices until the time was right to drink them.  And when Gary

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was back again at the Communion table, he took one, and Pastor took one.  And Gary set the big tray back upon the table and remained standing.

And Pastor said, “Deacon Gary, would you pray now over the grape juice?”

And Brother Gary prayed, “Dear Lord, Your only begotten Son bled and died for us, and we are the ones who should have died.  Jesus suffered like no man suffered as He died on the cross.  His blood saves!  Amen.  In Jesus’s name I pray.  Amen.” And he sat down.

“Amen,” said Pastor Steadfast.  And he read more Scripture:  “After the same manner also he took the cup, when he had supped, saying, This cup is the new testament in my blood:  this do ye, as oft as ye drink it, in remembrance of me.”

And Flanders and the whole flock drank down their grape juice.  Flanders found it delightfully sweet and tasty.  This must be called Concord Grape Juice, because it was dark purple.  Niagara Grape Juice was more like yellow.  Praise the Lamb of God for his blood shed for mankind!

Pastor Steadfast then had Flanders close the morning worship service with a word of prayer.

And church let out for the morning.

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CHAPTER XV

The fellowship of four were out traveling together again, Flanders on Year and Tracy on Decade, on a walk down Highway 32 going south at the edge of their east De Pere.   To their left was the fire station and the police station and city hall.  To their right was Wells Park and the end of the sidewalk and the beginning of a dirt path with a guardrail alongside of it.  “We are leaving De Pere, Master,” said Year.

“And entering the countryside,” said Flanders.

“To me Heaven will be one big countryside,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.

“Rural is more Heavenly than urban or suburban,” agreed Flanders.

“You know that hymn ‘In The Garden,’ Flanders,” said Tracy Majesty.

Flanders Nickels sang the refrain to this hymn:

“And He walks with me, and He talks with me,

And He tells me that I am His own,

And the joy we share as we tarry there,

None other has ever known.”

 

“Well to me ‘the garden’ is right where Jesus is in Heaven at any given moment,” the cheerleader Christian went on to say.  “And when I walk and talk with Jesus in His Deified Holy Glory

 

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Presence in Heaven,  then I shall be ‘In The Garden,’”

 

“Is it a flower garden?” asked Flanders.

“No.  I am not much for flowers,” she said.

“Will it be a vegetable garden then, Tracy?” asked Flanders.

“More like a farmer’s field,” said the cheerleader.

“Will it be like the garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus liked to pray and fellowship with His Heavenly Father?” asked Flanders.

“The Trinity will be in this garden,” said Miss Majesty.

“Is it a Paradise like unto the Garden of Eden?” asked Flanders.

“There won’t be any trees in it like in the Garden of Eden, Flanders,” she said.  “And it shall be a Paradise in a Paradise.”

“What will be in this Garden in Heaven for you to fellowship so with our Saviour?” asked Flanders.

“Beautiful orange ripe pumpkins and beautiful green ripe watermelons!” she exclaimed in glee.

“A whole field of them,” he surmised from her earlier words.

“Many acres of pumpkins and watermelons, Flanders!” she said, “And me alone with Jesus!”

“That sounds like a great place to walk and talk with Jesus, girl,” said Flanders.

“Do you like my idea of what Heaven is going to look like?” asked the cheerleader believer.

“Yes.  I do, Tracy.  Very much,” he said.

“And when the time comes for harvesting, I can make Jesus pumpkin pie and sliced watermelon,” said Tracy Majesty, adding now impromptu upon her daydreams of what Heaven was going to be like for her.

“Maybe you and I can have some of that pumpkin pie and some of those watermelon slices when we eat with our Jesus at the marriage supper of the Lamb,” said Flanders, happy with her.

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“And when I am ‘In The Garden,’ my Jesus will wrap his arms around his cheerleader and hold her and keep her from ever feeling bad again,” said Tracy Majesty.

“I know just what you mean, Tracy,” said Flanders.  “Down here we Christians suffer in a sin-cursed world.  Bad things happen.  We feel bad.  And trials heap upon us.”

“Yes.  You’re so right.  You know me most well, Flanders,” she said.  “Up There we Christians will rejoice in a Sinless Heaven.  Only good things will happen.  We will feel only good.  And there shall never fall upon us again any trial whatsoever.”

“And you know what our greatest mystery is about Heaven, Tracy,” he said.  “You and I wonder about that more than we wonder about anything else about Heaven.”

“What does Jesus look like?” she answered with this question.

“Any Christian’s greatest mystery among us Christians still down here,” said Flanders.

“All Christians who have gone on know the answer to this mystery of ours, Flanders,” said

the cheerleader girlfriend.

“The Apostle John did see Christ’s regal glory Up in Heaven in the book of Revelation that God  gave him to write,” said Flanders.

“John saw Him before he passed on?” asked Miss Majesty.

“Yes.  He wrote all about this in Revelation 1:12-16,” said Flanders.

“Whoa, Decade,” said Tracy.  “I want to read this.”  And Decade and Year stopped as Tracy got out her Bible from her unicorn’s saddlebags next to where she sat.  And the cheerleader girl read in great wonder and not without enlightenment from this passage of prophecy out loud:  “And I turned to see the voice that spake with me.  And being turned, I saw seven golden candlesticks:  And in the midst of the seven golden candlesticks one like unto the Son of man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle.  His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire; And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned in a

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furnace; and his voice as the sound of many waters.  And he had in his right hand seven stars:  and out of his mouth went a sharp twoedged sword:  and his countenance was as the sun shineth in his strength.”

Flanders went on to preach, “This was how Jesus appeared to John the Beloved in Heaven, complete with the seven stars and the seven golden candlesticks, Tracy.  Jesus then told John that the seven stars symbolized the seven angels of the seven churches and that the seven candlesticks symbolized these seven churches.”

“Ah, the seven churches of Revelation 2 and 3,” said learned Tracy.  “The churches of Ephesus and Smyrna and Pergamos and Thyatira and Sardis and Philadelphia and Laodicea.”

“Maybe when we see Jesus Up There, He will look the same, only without the stars and the candlesticks,” said Flanders, “and maybe without the sword in His mouth.  He will probably be wearing a tunic with a sash around his waist. It looks like He will have a hoary head.  His eyes will look like fire.  His feet will look like brass, which is an alloy of copper and zinc, and this brass will be like it is being forged.  And when He talks, it will sound like great waves washing ashore or like a great rapids of a river going over the rocks.  And His face will look like the sun.  That might be a good surmise on what Jesus will look like when we fall down before Him and worship Him in Heaven.”

“Divine regal glory!” said the cheerleader girlfriend.  “My divinely regally glorious Saviour!”

“He is Lord!” praised Flanders their Saviour in this fellowship.

“He is God!” praised Tracy in equal kudos to Jesus Christ.

“We will have come Home, O Tracy,” said Flanders in reverie.

And the cheerleader girlfriend, caught up in the Holy Spirit, went on to sing the great hymn about Heaven, the song, “My Saviour First of All”:

“1.  When my life work is ended and I cross the swelling tide,

When the bright and glorious morning I shall see,

I shall know my Redeemer when I reach the other side,

 

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And His smile will be the first to welcome me.

I shall know Him,  I shall know Him,

And redeemed by His side I shall stand,

I shall know Him, I shall know Him

By the print of the nails in His hand.

 

2. O the soul-thrilling rapture when I view His blessed face

And the luster of His kindly beaming eye;

How my full heart will praise Him for the mercy, love and grace

That prepare for me a mansion in the sky.

I shall know Him, I shall know Him,

And redeemed by His side I shall stand,

I shall know Him, I shall know Him

By the print of the nails in His hand.

 

3. O the dear ones in glory, how they beckon me to come,

And our parting at the river I recall;

To the sweet vales of Eden they will sing my welcome home–

But I long to meet my Saviour first of all.

I shall know Him, I shall know Him,

And redeemed by His side I shall stand,

I shall know Him, I shall know Him

By the print of the nails in His hand.

 

4. Thru the gates to the city, in a robe of spotless white,

He will lead me where no tears will ever fall;

In the glad song ages I shall mingle with delight–

But I long to meet my Saviour first of all.

I shall know Him, I shall know Him,

And redeemed by His side I shall stand,

I shall know Him, I shall know Him

By the print of the nails in His hand.”

 

“Amen, O girlfriend!” praised Flanders this cheerleader her singing and their Saviour.

“Well sung, O Mistress,” said Decade.

“God heard you sing, O Miss Majesty,” said Year.

“He shall hear me sing forever in Glory,” said the cheerleader girlfriend about Heaven.

Just then a grating and diabolical voice spoke down to the four from right above, saying, “It makes me sick, O woman of Jesus.”

Behold, lighting upon the road ahead of them, a large gray griffin!

 

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“Master, where did he come from?” asked Year in perplexity.

“I never saw him coming, Mistress,” said Decade in distress.

“Flanders, all of a sudden, here he is!” said the cheerleader in dismay.

“Griffin from Hell, I shall give you a taste of my mace, unless you go back to the knight from where you have come,” said Flanders.

“But first allow me to give you a taste of death, and allow me to give the cheerleader a taste of my knight’s castle, then see if you can any longer give me a taste of that cursed mace,” said the stealthy gray griffin in a gravel male voice.

“Tell me by what name you go by, large gray griffin,” said Flanders.

“My name?” mocked the proud hybrid demon.

“I’m sure you would not be happy with your battle with me today if you were not to brag on your name first,” said Flanders, knowing the pride of all gray griffins.

“The name I go by, Flanders,” said the large gray griffin.  “I am Huntingknife.”

Flanders cleverly bought time by asking, “Is that ‘Hunting Knife’ with two words, or is that ‘Hunting-Knife’ with a hyphen, or is that ‘Huntingknife’ as a compound word?”

The large griffin sent by the knight replied, “It is ‘Huntingknife’ as a compound word.”

“Flanders Nickels went on to say, “I am also sure that you would not be happy if you were not brag on your griffin-hood before you made the first assault in our battle this day.”

Huntingknife, focused on this war of words with the Christian warrior, did not see the cheerleader sneaking off to safety, riding Decade, as man and woman had agreed for when such an event like this were to come upon them again.  And Huntingknife said, “I am an Associate Professor Griffin, O man of war.”

“An Associate Professor griffin,” said Flanders.  “Your knight is stepping up his war against God and me.”

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“Yes, O man of God.  I am the second largest order of five orders of gray griffin kind,” bragged

Huntingknife.

“Or the fourth smallest of the five gradients, one could say,” said Flanders Nickels.

“Don’t talk that way about an Associate Professor gray griffin like myself, O Flanders with the mace,” said the demon in indignation.

Flanders then dismounted Year and sent her away.  Then the gray griffin looked around for the woman he was sent to bring back to the castle.  And he saw her and her unicorn a way off, with the winged horse coming up now to their side.  He had been tricked by Flanders to talk about his glory at the expense of performing his commission for the knight.  And he grew angry.  But instead of flying over the head of the man of the mace and carrying the woman away with no resistance, the gray griffin sought to take out his frustrations first by seeking to take out the man of the mace.  And he shot his beak out to peck Flanders on the head.  But Flanders athletically threw his head out of the way of the beak, and the griffin missed.  Then Flanders swung his mace toward the gray griffin’s head in reprisal.

But this Associate Professor Griffin, himself most athletic, also threw his head out of the way of the assault, and Flanders missed him with his mace.  Flanders saw Huntingknife glancing out toward the woman that the griffin slayer was commissioned to protect, and Flanders necessarily put himself between griffin and cheerleader and hoped that this griffin would not take to the air where the mace could not reach him.  Again the griffin aimed a fell peck toward the top of Flanders’s head, and again Flanders dodged out of the way and again swung his mace toward the griffin’s head.  And again this skilled griffin soldier dodged his head out the way in like.  Here the two had missed for a second time each.  And it happened the third time, again with a third miss each for the two soldiers.

Flanders had never missed three times in a row with his mace.  And his arm was a little sore.

And he had not a strategy as to how to fight this Associate Professor Griffin.  His previous battle words were sure and snappy; but his battle here and now was unsure and sporadic.  He saw his gray griffin

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foe with a cocky look in his eye and a battle tactic upon his countenance.  Huntingknife was thinking up a strategy to prevail over the man of war, and the man of war did not know what it was.  And Huntingknife was just as fast and clever as Flanders in war.  This gray griffin and Flanders continued exchanging misses and scrapes and minor scratches with beak and mace.  And Huntingknife began to force Flanders Nickels to retreat.  And what Flanders did not know was that this gray griffin was forcing the man of battle to retreat toward the girl.

In this while, the cheerleader girl and the two equines were gathered together in a prayer circle, their heads bowed and their eyes closed and their tongues praying for victory for their hero.  This prayer meeting was this time particularly fervent, and they were not at all aware of how the battle was going for the Christian soldier.  And none of the three saw the Associate Professor griffin driving Flanders back right toward the cheerleader where she was busy praying.

Behold, a little while later, the great battle backed right up to the cheerleader, her eyes not seeing it and her back turned and her head still down in prayer!  She and her prayer-warriors were so into their prayer that they did not know that the gray griffin was upon them right now, with one weary Christian soldier between griffin and cheerleader girl.

Flanders Nickels and the large gray griffin continued exchanging misses and scrapes and scratches with mace and beak.  And Flanders saw bleeding on his mace hand, and it was not griffin blood.  He found it hard now to swing his right arm with the weariness it now felt from too much swinging and not enough hitting.  His left arm felt new and strong yet.  His left hand had no blood or bleeding upon it.  His left wrist felt good.  And he took up his mace of God now in his good left hand, and he rallied.

And he struck the gray griffin hard with his first solid contact with his mace in this fierce battle.

He had stricken him this time on the right shoulder.  And the griffin gave forth a grunt through his eagle throat.  And the demon backed up a step.  And Flanders stepped forward a step.

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“Get out of the way!” yelled Huntingknife, having suffered the first serious wound in this battle.

“Get away from my girl!” yelled Flanders, fearful for a griffin peck upon his cheerleader’s praying head.

“As the Devil is my witness, I will drive you all the way back into that nasty praying circle, and I will get the cheerleader girl if I have to carry you back to the castle with her,” said the frustrated griffin now having suddenly lost the upper hand.

“As God is my witness, if you dare strike my Tracy, I will break you up into pieces with my mace before your very eyes, you devil!” said Flanders, now fearful for his cheerleader girlfriend for his first time in his ministry as griffin slayer.

“Just try to stop this griffin, Flanders Arckery Nickels,” said the mighty Associate Professor Griffin with the rage of a demon.

And Huntingknife threw his beak toward Flanders, his wounded griffin shoulder slowing him down this time.  Again he missed with his beak.  And Flanders again swung his mace in his left hand.  And again Flanders struck hard with a direct hit, wounding this demon griffin seriously with his mighty mace.  This second wound was in the griffin’s left shoulder.  And this time the gray griffin gave forth a bellow.  And the gray griffin stepped back a second step away from the cheerleader girl.  And again the Christian soldier stepped forward a second step toward the retreating griffin.

“Why don’t you get out of here now?” asked Flanders.

“I am too weak to fly, O man of the mace,” said Huntingknife in ire.

“Are you too weak to run?” asked Flanders in sarcasm and bitterness.

“I am too weak to walk,” said the wounded gray griffin.

“Good!” said Flanders.  “Good!”  And Flanders Nickels raised his mace for the kill.

But this Associate Professor Griffin had bated Flanders with clever lies.  And just as Flanders raised his mace to think to kill a griffin who could not fight back, this griffin flew up and over the mace

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and in flight passed by Flanders, and did verily light upon the praying and kneeling cheerleader whom Flanders was called to protect from such.  And Huntingknife crushed his great mass down upon the Christian girl and drove her face-first down upon the ground and did laugh like the Devil as he got up and stood upon her back.

The cheerleader girlfriend had never been wounded seriously in any of Flanders’s battles as her griffin slayer until this time.

Flanders feared for her life.  Her head was down and unconscious.  All that this gray griffin needed now to do was to peck her with his beak one time.  But this gray griffin was sent by the knight not to kill the cheerleader, but rather to bring her back alive to the knight at his castle.  Huntingknife sought to grab her up in his lion paws to carry out his assignment.  And Flanders called upon the name of the Lord and swung his mace in his left hand toward this griffin’s lion chest.  And he struck his third direct hit upon this fell gray griffin.  This mace tore out the gray griffin’s hard heart.  Behold, the Associate Professor Griffin fell down dead upon the prone cheerleader and rolled over off of her to the side and lay there and moved no more.

Flanders fell upon his knees beside her unmoving form and prayed, “God, forgive me my moment of carelessness in battle!  I pray Thee keep her life as you have kept our three lives who still live!  Have mercy on my good and beautiful cheerleader girlfriend!  Thou art Good!  I do wait upon Thee! I do say these five things in Jesus’s name!  Amen.”

And the three survivors of this battle gathered around the fallen cheerleader where she lay.

She stirred.  She opened her eyes.  She spoke, “What happened?”

Flanders said, “You were crushed by a gray griffin.”

“Am I all right?” she asked.  She took a few deep breaths where she lay.  She lifted her head.

She moved her hands.  “I think I’m all right,” she said.  She put her palms to the ground and pushed herself up to a sitting position, and she rested upon her bottom, her arms and hands holding her up

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from behind her back.  “I’m all right, Flanders,” she said.  Flanders lovingly proffered his arms, and she gladly took them in hers, and he helped her back up to her feet.  “Now I know that I’m okay, guys,” she said.

“Our Lord is good,” said Flanders.

“My mistress still lives,” said Decade.

“Master, once again you have rescued the girl from her demonic assailant,” said Year.

“Our Lord is great,” said Flanders.  “How do you feel, Tracy?”

“Like I got hit by a dragon,” she said.

“Let us stay here and rest a while,” said Flanders.

“I’d like that,” she said. “What about you, Flanders?  How do you feel?”

“Like I got cut up by a little knife all over,” he said.

“Thank you for having again saved my life, O Flanders,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.

And they rested a while.  Then Flanders called upon the Holy Spirit to clean up the roadside.

And the winds of the Holy Ghost blew upon the carcass of the Associate Professor Griffin and did clean up the Earth from the deceased gray griffin demon.

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CHAPTER XVI

The knight of the gray griffins was in the bedroom of his castle in Parts Unknown in the far north.  He had a harpy wife named “Repugnant,” and right now she was giving birth to another baby gray griffin.  This knight in shining armor and with his helmet on and his visor down was assisting in the delivery.  The harpy spoke and said, “My knight, I feel two in my womb.”

“My wife, we are getting twins this time,” said the knight.

“We can name one of them, ‘Vengeance,’ and we can name the other one of them, ‘Revenge,’ my husband,” said Repugnant.

“We shall name them ‘Vengeance’ and ‘Revenge,’ then, wife,” said the knight.

“My husband, do you remember what God said to the Devil and what the Devil then said to you?” asked Repugnant in labor.

“That I do,” said the knight.  “The Lord said to our father, and our father said to me, ‘Thou shalt not send out more than one griffin against the griffin slayer at one time.’”

“And you obeyed your father and the griffin slayer’s Father,” said the harpy.

“Indeed it is one thing to disobey the Devil, but to disobey the Lord…look out!” said the godless knight.

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“Could we disobey Him just this one time, O Husband?” asked the harpy.

Himself a student of historical battles, the knight rebuked his harpy wife and said, “My wife, do remember the city of Jericho after the walls did fall down.  God did say to all people, ‘Cursed be the man before the Lord, that riseth up and buildeth this city Jericho:  he shall lay the foundation thereof in his firstborn, and in his youngest son shall he set up the gates of it.’  Well, years later, a man named Hiel thought to disobey our Enemy.  Hiel began to rebuild the fallen city of Jericho.  This Hiel laid the foundation in his firstborn son Abiram, and he went on to set up the gates in his youngest son Segub.”

“Oh, but Husband,” said the harpy in hard labor, “that was a long time ago.”

“Time does not change our Foe’s mind about things,” said the knight.  “He explicitly told me, ‘Knight, send out only one gray griffin at a time against My man Flanders.’  God may well strike down our own children not already slain by His man the griffin slayer if I did as you wish, wife.”

“God wouldn’t do that to us,” said his wife Repugnant.

“Oh, but He would,” said the knight.

“You and I have brought into this world instructors and lecturers and assistant professors and associate professors and full professors among our own unique gray griffin species, Husband,” said the harpy.  “”Let’s send them all out after that man and get him good and take him out of this earth for ever.

And then we shall be free from him.”

“Why such an army as that even a family of dragons could not prevail over, Wife,” said the knight.

Mischief and vileness shown on Repugnant’s face, and she said, “Maybe all we need to do is to send out two of our children.”

“Sending out two gray griffins would not get the Adversary mad at us like as if we sent out all one hundred of our children.” agreed the knight.

“This Vengeance and this Revenge are our first twins, Husband,” said the harpy wife.

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“Our first twins,” said the knight.

“There are two of them,” said the harpy in labor.

“They can be the ones we sent to get rid of the man,” said the knight.

“Just what I was thinking,” said Repugnant.

“We need to wait for them to grow up and become adult gray griffins,” said the knight.

“Or we can send them out after the man yet in their childhood, Husband,” said the harpy wife.

“I am to send out our two baby gray griffins after the man who killed most of our other adult gray griffins already in only a few years, Wife?” asked the knight in wrath.

“Do not hurt me,” called forth Repugnant. “Maybe we can wait a little while until they become a little older.  Maybe they can be almost adults.  Or maybe they can be new adults.”

“They both need to be full adults, and they both need to be the largest of our gray griffin kind, and they both must not be afraid to die,” said the wicked knight.

“Then we would have to wait a full year for that to happen,” said Repugnant.  “Our gray griffins  become full adults at one year of age.”

“I already know that, wife,” said the knight, raising his gauntleted fist.  “I have begotten gray griffins as you know.”

“And I have conceived our gray griffins,” said the harpy Repugnant.

“I already know that, too, harpy,” snarled the evil knight.

The knight grabbed her head by her hair and shook her where she lay in labor.  “Please don’t shake my head so,” cried out the harpy.  And he let go of her head from his gauntlet.

“I would do anything to get Flanders out of the way,” said the knight.

“I heard from Dark Horse about your little escapade with the man’s cheerleader,” said Repugnant the knight’s secret.

“He went and told you?” asked the knight.

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“Dark Horse told me all,” said the harpy wife.  “I’m glad that the girl got away.”

“That was before you and I got married,” said the knight.

“What do you see in a little cheerleader girl that you do not see in me?” asked Repugnant.

“I know longer care for the girl.  She became one of God’s children since that day,” said the knight.

“If you no longer care for the girl, then why are you still after her, sending out our children after her boyfriend all the time?” asked Repugnant.

“My private life is not my wife’s business,” said the knight.

“I heard that the girl that night was quite the one-piece swimsuit girl,” taunted the knight’s wife.

“That’s enough out of you, dirty noisome harpy!” yelled the dangerous knight in shining armor.

“And she was only a girl then; now she is a woman,” said Repugnant.

“The cheerleader woman does not stink like you stink, harpy!” snapped the knight.  He raised his gauntleted open hand and slapped her backwards across the face in the middle of her labor.

“You beast!” snarled Repugnant.  “I hate you.  I want our twins to die in battle.”

“Our twins, Repugnant?” asked the ruthless knight.  “These twins are my twins.”

“You want the cheerleader so bad.  What will you give in order to get her into this castle?  Sometimes a demon has to make sacrifices to get what he wants.  Vengeance and Revenge are about to come out of my womb.  I give you Vengeance and Revenge.  I want that killer of our griffins gone, even if it means that you go and cheat on me with a cheerleader woman.  As soon as they be born, send them out to battle.  Slay Flanders.  Take the woman home.  And have her completely.  But do not give up any of your desires for me when I want to have you completely for our next time together.”

The knight did not take long to reply.  He said, “All right.  It’s agreed.  Our twin babies are going out for our cause against the griffin slayer.”

Then a dove came into the castle’s bedroom with a note in his mouth.  Doves came from God,

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and no dove had ever come into this city of Parts Unknown before, nor had any dove been sent to enter the castle of this knight before.  This was the first time anything of God had entered into this bedroom.

The knight held out his gauntleted palm, and the dove lighted upon it, let fall the note from his beak onto the gauntlet, and flew away at once.  The knight unrolled the little paper and did read to himself, “Thus saith the Lord, ‘Do not send out infant griffins after My man.  If you do so, you will say your first word of such command in the elder twin, and you will say your last word of such command in the younger twin.’”

The knight hesitated and pondered.  “What’s it say?” asked Repugnant.  And he showed her the note.  The harpy wife read it, hesitated, and laughed.  And she said, “Husband, are you suddenly turning religious on me?  When have you ever listened to God before?  For goodness sake, do not start getting like Flanders and Tracy!”

“You’re right,” said the knight.  “I know what I want, and I know how to get it.”

“Be a man, O Husband!” enticed the wife against the Word of God in the dove’s mouth.

Behold, the first twin gray griffin was coming out of the womb.  And the knight began to give forth his command, “O–”  Lo, out came the first baby gray griffin.  And he was still and silent and dead.  And now the second gray griffin was coming out of the womb.  The knight resumed his command, “…gray griffins, go out and slay Flanders.”  Lo, the second baby gray griffin now came out.  This one was also still and silent and dead.  The gray griffin Vengeance had died in birth upon the first battle command word declared by the knight.  And the gray griffin Revenge had died in birth upon the last battle command word declared by the knight.  Behold, the first two gray griffins of their species who had died in birth.

With a most vile and despicable rage against God and all righteousness, the knight who answered only to the Devil himself picked up the two dead infant gray griffins and threw them both out of the window, and they fell three stories to the ground below, and they were left there to decay and to

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decompose and to be eaten of carrion birds.  And the demoniac knight stormed out of the castle.

 

It was that same day at the knight’s castle in Parts Unknown.  The knight was having a private conclave with his adviser Dark Horse.  They were in the black steed’s stable.  And the knight had asked him, “What must I do to achieve my will and my father’s will, Dark Horse?”  His will, of course, was to slay Flanders and bring Flanders’s cheerleader girlfriend home to his castle.  His father was the Devil. And the Devil had told him to carry out his will in the way that would get the job done.  The will of both Devil and knight was one and the same.

And Dark Horse gave tentative counsel before the knight, saying, “Maybe, seeing that our Opponent has given you an injunction to use only one of your gray griffins at a time in each of your endeavors, you could send out your best and mightiest of your gray griffins.”

“You mean to dispatch a Full Professor Griffin, Dark Horse,” said the knight.

“You have not done that yet to the man Flanders Nickels,” said the dark black steed.

“Yes, wise and knowledgeable Dark Horse,” said the knight.  “I heard that people in Wisconsin have doubts about their renowned griffin slayer, because he has never slain a Full Professor Griffin of mine.”

“Indeed such a griffin is the only gray griffin who can shoot of fire from his mouth,” said the black steed counselor.

“My Full Professor Griffins are the only griffins who can breathe out fire—not only among my gray griffins but also among all of the tawny griffins and among any of the other griffins out there in this Earth, Dark Horse,” bragged the proud knight.

“The Full Professor Griffin whom you need has to be the most like Lucifer among all of your family,” said Dark Horse.

“Could it be Vice-Grips?” asked the knight in consideration.  “He likes to grab and crush.”

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“No, my master.  I think that Vice-Grips would not be wise at this time,” said Dark Horse.  “He likes to play with his prey.  The man Flanders must not be played with.  That’s a good way for even the best of gray griffins to get killed.”

“You’re right,” said the knight.  “He doesn’t take his job seriously enough to suit me.”  Then the knight suggested, “Maybe it should be Plane.  Plane works on his victims like a woodworker works on his projects.  He is sharp and tenacious.  And he takes his job for me seriously.”

“I feel that Plane would be the wrong griffin for the job, Master,” said Dark Horse.  “Plane does scrape away well with his talons and his nails, but he thinks too slowly, and he moves just as slowly.”

“You’re right, Dark Horse,” said the knight.  Before my Plane could attack, that man Flanders would have him down.”  Then the knight thought of Screwdriver.  And he recommended Screwdriver as the right Full Professor Griffin for the job.

“I feel that Screwdriver would not get the best of the griffin slayer,” said the knowledgeable black horse.

“Do tell me,” said the knight.  “You have to admit that Screwdriver does drive into his opponents and twist them around to their death.”

“That I do admit, O Master,” said Dark Horse.  “That he does do.  But Screwdriver has only one

strategy—to drive into and to screw.  The right Full Professor Griffin to defeat the formidable Flanders Nickels must have an imagination when it comes to battle strategy against the man with the mace.”

“You are right again, good and candid Dark Horse,” said the knight.  “Screwdriver fights only one way and fights the same way every time with every opponent.  He would not stand a chance against the soldier of God.  What do you think about Socket Set?”

“Socket Set is the griffin with a hundred moves,” said the contemplating black steed.

“He has more moves with his form than the griffin slayer has with his mace of God,” bragged the knight upon this one.

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“Alas, Master, Socket Set has proved himself a coward in battle,” said Dark Horse.

“I do remember,” said the knight.  “He went hunting with his brothers, met a Wisconsin Black Bear in the woods, got scraped up by the bear, and did run for his life.  I do remember that shameful

act.”

“That dastardly coward of a gray griffin!” said Dark Horse in contempt.

“I think I’ll relegate him to be a deer hunter,” said the knight in offense at Socket Set.

“Who else do we have among your Full Professor Griffins, Master?” asked Dark Horse.  “I cannot think of any others among the family.”

“I am thinking now upon Sawtooth,” thought the knight out loud.  “He is my biggest of my Full Professor Griffins.”

“Sawtooth.  Yes, Sawtooth,” said the black horse counselor.

“Sawtooth does not stop to play with griffin slayers in the midst of battle.  Sawtooth thinks fast and moves even faster in the midst of battle.  Sawtooth has invented tactics in the midst of battle that have been written in textbooks.  Sawtooth is never going to flee a foe even if it means dying a horrible death and going to Hell.  And Sawtooth has never disappointed me in our years together.”

“Not only that, Master, but Sawtooth is your only gray griffin with tenure,”

“My full professor with tenure!” said the knight.  “Most convincing counsel you have given me in this conclave in so succinct a recommendation, O learned Dark Horse.  Sawtooth it shall be.  And it shall be Sawtooth who shall take down the man with the mace.  And it shall be Sawtooth who brings back for me the irresistible little cheerleader who got away.  Go and find Sawtooth, my good friend, and bring him to me.  I shall like to talk to him in my den.”

“That I shall do at once, my master,” said Dark Horse, happy with this next battle that was soon to come between griffin slayer and his knight’s best griffin.

 

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Sawtooth and his master the knight in shining armor were together in the den.  Shelves of books of history filled the five walls of this pentagon of a room.  Father and progeny paced this room, neither knowing what to say to start out a conversation.  And Sawtooth spoke first, “Father, what do you wish to ask me in this room?”

“Son,” said the knight, “I seek you to do what no gray griffin has yet done.”

Most familiar with the knight, Sawtooth said, “You ask me to slay the great griffin slayer, O Father.”

“I believe that you can do it, Son,” said the knight.

“I can do for you the impossible,” said Sawtooth with more resolve than conceit.

“You are greatest among my gray griffins, and you are greatest among all griffins everywhere,” said the knight.

“I believe that I am,” said the redoubtable demon with good reason.

“Look at all of these books,” said knight.  “There are more books here than a man can read.  Look at this bookcase here along the north wall.  These five shelves in this bookcase are full of books all about all skirmishes and all battles and all wars ever fought between God and Satan by way of people and angels and demons.  I am a historian of military forces.  But even yet I have a few books in this military book section of my den that I have not finished reading.”

“My father, I have read them all,” said Sawtooth about these five shelves of military books.

“Look at this book,” said the knight, pulling out a three-hundred page hardcover book from on top of the bookcase.  “It is called ‘Spiritual Warfare in High Places.’  I am its author.”

“I memorized it, Father,” said Sawtooth.

“There is no greater demon than you in all of Wisconsin, Son,” bragged the knight upon Sawtooth, this knight not bragging on himself right now.

“As you serve Lucifer, I shall serve you, Father,” said Sawtooth.

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“I feel, Son, that there are things about you that I have much to find out about in great wonder and in great marvel,” said the knight.

“I have a secret that you will find most revelatory about myself as a full professor with tenure, O Father,” said Sawtooth.

“”What is it, Son?  What did you do?” asked the knight.

“I slew the dragon Draco in battle down in the plain of Megiddo, O Father,” disclosed the full professor griffin a mighty deed not done even by Flanders Nickels.

“My griffin son, a dragon-slayer,” said the knight.

“Dragon-slayer,” said the gray griffin in sweet taste to his ears and mouth.

“And I’ve got a secret now to show you, O Son,” said the knight.

“Do tell me your neat little secret, Father,” said Sawtooth.

“It is time to show my favorite son what I look like with my visor up,” said the knight.

“Father, never before have you shown your face to me,” said Sawtooth.

“I have never even shown my face to my wife,” said the knight.  “Not even when we were making gray griffins together.”

“Father, are you sure that that is wise?” asked Sawtooth.

“I love you, Son,” said the knight.  “And I think that it is time to let you see your loving father as he is underneath his helmet.”

“Nobody on this Earth has ever seen what is behind your visor, Father,” said the greatest gray griffin.

“Are you afraid of me, my Son?” asked the knight.

“I am not afraid of you, Dad,” said Sawtooth.

“This time has come, Son,” said the knight.  “Before you go to battle against the griffin slayer and bring home for me my cheerleader concubine, you will have seen what no man has seen before.”

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“I am ready, Dad,” said the intrepid gray griffin without peer.

“I am, too,” said the knight, feeling nervous about what he was about to do.

And the knight raised the visor up and above his face with his helmet covering the rest of his head.

And Sawtooth shuddered throughout the bones of his previously unshakable body.

Then the knight pushed back down his visor over his face.  “Go out, my Son, and slay the griffin slayer!” said the knight in good cheer and great confidence and gilded hope.

Sawtooth shuddered secretly in all of the muscles of his gray griffin body.

For his first time, this fearless demon of demons was afraid of battle.  He had seen his father.

And he was scared.  And he wanted to flee the knight in shining armor and never come back home to the castle.  And Sawtooth left Parts Unknown more for getting away from the presence of the knight than for battling Flanders and capturing Tracy.

 

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CHAPTER XVII

Flanders and his cheerleader girlfriend were riding her Decade up in the sky above Green Bay.  The wise unicorn was regaling his two passengers with unicorn lore, either believable or unbelievable.

He continued:  “On the sixth day of creation God made the land animals and the people and the unicorns.  He brought his first made unicorn with His Word and did present him before Adam, and God said to Adam, ‘Give this species a name from your tongue, son of God.’

And Adam looked upon this fine and pure white steed with the single spiral of horn emanating from his head.  He thought to himself, a one-horned one.  One—uni.  Horn—corn.  Unicorn.  And he called this creature a ‘unicorn.’

Then God said to Adam, ‘Give this unicorn a personal name from your tongue, O man.’

And Adam thought, This is the day after the creation’s consummation.  This is the seventh day.  This unicorn is now one day old.  I shall name this unicorn ‘Day.’  And the first unicorn was given the name ‘Day.’  Day was a he-unicorn.

God then brought other unicorns before Adam in order that Adam would give them names from his tongue.  And Adam named one ‘Week’; and another ‘Month’; and another ‘Year’; and another

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‘Decade’; and another ‘Century’; and another ‘Millennium.’ These six unicorns were she-unicorns. In this way did Adam give names to all of the unicorns wrought by the Maker in this creation’s six-day span on the seventh day.  And God said to Day, ‘Go forth and multiply.’  And these seven unicorns went forth from Adam to the far sides of the Garden of Eden and lived there for the rest of this dispensation of innocence.

Then Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden.  And the curse came upon all creation.  And the unicorns had to leave the Garden of Eden.  Indeed the Garden of Eden was forever shut away from Adam and Eve and all that the Maker had made, and its entrance was blocked by an angel wielding a flaming sword.  The unicorns traveled to the land of Nod.  And there they met the young man Cain, who was a fugitive from God.  The unicorns knew that this was the man who had killed his little brother.  They said among themselves, ‘Come.  Let us kill him.  And God will be satisfied.’

But one of the unicorns said, ‘I see a mark on his head.’

And another of the unicorns said, ‘If we kill him, God will revenge Himself upon us seven fold.’

And another of the unicorns said, ‘Let us not provoke God.  Let us let this man yet live on.’

And the unicorns left the land of Nod.  And they came back home to Adam and Eve in this fallen world.  Behold, they had a child with them now, a third born son.  Adam said to the unicorns, ‘God hath appointed me another seed instead of Abel, whom Cain slew.’

And Eve said to the unicorns, ‘His name is “Seth.”’

And little Seth played with the unicorns in great delights for boy and unicorn alike.  The unicorns all stayed there with Adam and Eve for years.  And in time Seth grew up and married and did beget a son of his own.  Seth’s son was called ‘Enos.’  And Enos was the beginning of mankind’s third generation.  And men began to call upon the name of the Lord.

Then Enos begat Cainan.  And Cainan begat Mahalaleel.  And Mahalaleel begat Jared.  And

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Jared begat Enoch.  And Enoch begat Methuselah.  And Methuselah begat Lamech.  And Lamech begat Noah, saying, ‘This same shall comfort us concerning our work and toil of our hands, because of the ground which the Lord hath cursed.’

And Noah turned six hundred years old, and righteous God sent the calamity of the great flood upon most unrighteous man and upon all the Earth.  Only Noah and the rest of his family of eight did God find righteous.  These eight were to be the only people whom God would let live on of all the world.  Noah built the famous ark, and he put his family and male and female of each of the animals into this ark for refuge.  And God then sent His great flood upon this world, a deluge from above and from below.  The two unicorns that were in the ark was the she-unicorn ‘Second’ and the he-unicorn

‘Minute.’   With her unicorn horn Second tooted melodies of the hymns in this long voyage.  And with his unicorn horn in the ark Minute beguiled his shipmates with ring toss on the deck.

Then the rain of the Great Flood ceased.  The waters stopped rising.  The earth covered with water now began to see a gradual receding of the waters of catastrophe.  And the ark rested upon the dry land of the mountains of Ararat.  And the last vestige of antediluvian creations went out of the ark into a new postdiluvian Earth.  Mankind’s population was now only eight people—Noah and his wife and this three sons and his three sons’ wives.  And the unicorn population here in the world right after the flood now numbered only two.  God said again to His creation, ‘Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.’

And Second and Minute went out into this world.  And they brought forth the unicorn named ‘Hour’ into this world.  And Hour went on to become the forefather of all unicorns born after the Great Flood.  Noah became the forefather of all people born after the Great Flood through the lineage of his three sons Shem and Ham and Japheth.  And Hour and Noah became good friends.  Noah taught Hour many secrets of the Earth before Hour’s time.  And Hour told Noah many things of unicorn folklore that his unicorn parents had taught him.  And they became master and pet.”

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“Is all that really true, Decade?” asked Tracy Majesty.

“It is true if you believe, Mistress,” said Decade.

“I believe,” said Flanders.

“I’m not so sure,” said the cheerleader.

Just then a great force crashed hard right into them from behind up here in the skies!  Flanders almost fell off of the winged unicorn off to the right.  Tracy almost fell off of the winged unicorn off to the left.  They grabbed onto any part of the unicorn they could and did hold on for dear life.  And they climbed back more safely upon the white unicorn’s broad back.

“We’re going to die!” cried out Tracy.

“Not if I can help it,” called out Flanders, taking his mace out from its holster.

This had to be a gray griffin who did this, and this had to be done on purpose.  Decade finally recovered his own words, and he said, “What hit me?”

“It was I, O Decade of Miss Majesty,” called back a nefarious voice from way above.

The three looked up into the sky.  Already this bold assailant in the air was way above them after having struck them thus just a moment before.  Flanders looked upon this attacker, and sure enough it was a gray griffin who had struck them from behind.  Right now to Flanders it seemed that this gray griffin was closer than he really was.  How come this griffin looked to be closer than his voice sounded?  And it dawned on the Christian warrior that this griffin was massive.  This griffin was so big that he looked closer more than he looked farther.  Never before had Flanders seen so large a gray griffin.  Flanders turned to look upon his mace from God.  He doubted for a moment the damage his little mace could render the huge griffin.  He then looked back up at the behemoth griffin, and he became angry and ready for combat.

This gray griffin then called down upon them and declared himself, saying, “Flanders and Tracy of De Pere, my name is Sawtooth, and I am a Full Professor Griffin with tenure.  I am come to slay and

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to take away for my father the knight.”

Riled, Flanders said, “You shall never slay me!”

Afraid, Tracy said, “You shall not take me away.  My God and my boyfriend will stop you.”

Decade dared to say stealthily, “Mistress, this one is as big as a dragon.”

Flanders found his current situation most disadvantageous for battle up here with his cheerleader and her winged unicorn.  He had fought battles in the air against previous gray griffins. But those were always when he was without the girl.  In those battles he was alone and riding his winged horse in the sky when the assaults had begun.  Indeed numerous gray griffins had fallen in battle in the air just as they had in battle upon the ground in the griffin slayer’s ministry for cheerleader and God.

But this was Flanders’s first battle riding Decade in the air.  Decade and he had not the chemistry between themselves that Year and he had; and this was another disadvantage for the Christian soldier in this sudden attack.  But most of all, the girl was in the guy’s way in this case.  He could not swing his mace up here in battle without risking hitting his cheerleader instead.  He needed much room to battle this full professor gray griffin, and his beloved with him on the unicorn’s back was unintentionally squeezing his space in.  He did not have room to work with to defend the damsel in distress with this damsel in distress not able this time to flee to safety.  What could he do?  He prayed to God for Holy Spirit wisdom in this most dire time for griffin slayer.  He was in front; and she, in the back.

Then the cheerleader girlfriend spoke and said, “I’m in the way, Flanders.  Let me jump.”

He looked down thousands of feet and felt astonishment at the horrid thought that she would be down there upon the ground, dead from a terrible fall on her own volition.

She looked down thousands of feet as well, and she feared death greatly.

“Do not jump, I implore you, O Tracy,” said Flanders.

“I think that I would like to stay here,” said the cheerleader girlfriend, holding on to dear life.

Then Sawtooth began to descend toward them for the big fight.  “I’ve got an idea,” said

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Flanders.

“What can we do, good Flanders?” asked Decade.

“God has spoken to me, and He has told me what we must do,” said Flanders Nickels.

“He’s coming again from behind!” yelled the cheerleader.

“Hold on tight!” cried out Flanders.

The great full professor griffin’s bulk crashed into the unicorn from in back for a second time.

And this second time was definitely unmitigated.  Flanders did not lose his grip on Decade, and he did not fall, though he was shaken where he sat.  But the cheerleader lost her grip on Decade, and she fell off from where she sat, and she began to fall toward the Earth with a scream!

“Descend and retrieve!” yelled out Flanders commands to the winged unicorn.

And Decade dove down in a direct descent toward the Earth, did get underneath his falling mistress, and did catch her most adeptly back upon his equine back.

“Dear God, I am still alive,” prayed the desperate cheerleader.

“Once more again like that, and we will lose you, precious Tracy,” cried out Flanders in the heat  of battle.

“I thank God for you, most precious Decade,” said Tracy, trembling.  “You saved my life just now!”

The great and terrible gray griffin spoke, “He has saved your life for my father.”

“I don’t want your father, Sawtooth,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.  “I hate that knight.”

“Would you like to fall again?” taunted the Full Professor Gray Griffin.

“I never want to fall again,” she said.  “I am afraid to die.”

“Then hop onto my back, fair young cheerleader,” said Sawtooth.  “I will carry you to a life of

wonderful nights with the knight.  And you shall continue to live.  You need not die, if you will but consent to leave Flanders.”

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It did not take Tracy Majesty long to think about this and to say, “I would rather die!”

“If you die, you will lose Flanders, anyway, young woman of God,” said Sawtooth.

“If I give in, Flanders and I are separated.  If I die, Flanders and I are separated,” said the cheerleader Christian.

“So why not try a man with supernatural powers for a boyfriend?” tempted Sawtooth.  “My knight can make it even better than a mortal boy or man can make it.”

“I refuse to make anything with my female body with anybody,” said Tracy Majesty.

“Young lady, you are making things hard for me and for you,” said Sawtooth.

Flanders Nickels spoke now and said, “Full Professor, you omit the eternal nature of Christianity in your words to my Tracy.  If she dies, she and I will see each other again in Heaven, where you will never be.  And if she gives in, she will resist your father’s lecherous advances unto death, and the knight will not get what he’s looking for in the cheerleader.  And you and your father will someday go to Hell, where she will never be.”

“Curses to you, man of the Lord!” screeched the gray griffin upon hearing such eternal truths.

“Now I am not afraid to die, Sawtooth,” declared the cheerleader Christian girl.

“Curses to you, woman of the Lord,” screeched the formidable griffin soldier, seeing her will forever lost from his will.

“We got him!” said Decade.

“No, Decade,” said Sawtooth.  “I got you!”

“Now is the time for us to carry out our battle the way that God has told me,” said Flanders Nickels.  Sawtooth swung around and charged the three from in front now.  And Flanders began his

reprisals with battle commands:  “Steady as she goes, Decade.  Tracy, climb down along Decade’s side like you climb down trees.  Then grab a hold of the unicorn’s front two legs from underneath him.

Hold on to the right fetlock with your right hand.  Hold on to the left fetlock with your left hand.

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Grab and hold and cling with all of your might.  In this way you will be borne here in the skies underneath Decade with your arms holding you up.  In this manner only will I be able to use the mace that God did give me in this great battle against the greatest gray griffin.”

“I have climbed up and down trees,” said the cheerleader girl.  “I can climb up and down my flying unicorn just as easily.”  And Tracy Majesty went and did what her boyfriend said for her to do.

The griffin was about to crash headfirst into the three.  Decade thought to veer off to the right or to the left in self-defense.  Flanders noticed this.  “Steady as she goes, good unicorn,” said the seasoned warrior on the unicorn’s back.  Decade obeyed the man of God, and he continued straight toward the charging great gray griffin.  Then Flanders stood up upon Decade’s back and did swing his mace downward upon the gray griffin.  Crash!  The mace of God wielded by the man of God did smash down upon the back of the neck of Sawtooth.  But the second crash came right after when Sawtooth himself smashed headfirst into flying Decade.  And the second crash did more damage to the cause of Christ than the first crash did damage to the cause of Satan.  Flanders was thrown hard off of the back of Decade and began to fall down to the ground to a certain death.  But, lo, the athletic cheerleader reached out her right ankle for Flanders to grab onto as he began his fall.  He grabbed this right ankle in his left hand, his right hand still holding his mace.  And he tightened his grip on that ankle.  And his life was spared by his cheerleader girlfriend.  As for Sawtooth, blood began to come out of the back of his neck where he had been struck.

The Full Professor Griffin quickly went on without delay to carry out a second battle tactic.  Decade saw what he was doing right now, and he said, “Flanders, I see smoke coming out of his closed beak.”

“I must defend us three before he opens his beak,” said Flanders.  And Flanders Nickels, with one hand holding his mace and with his other hand grabbing and pulling up, did climb back up to the back of brave Decade.  And he stood up there again, ready for more combat with the world’s most

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dangerous griffin.  Sure enough, Sawtooth did open up his beak.  And a great stream of fire came out toward Flanders right where he stood.  Flanders quickly brandished and swung and parried with his mace from God in front of himself.  And in this manner did the clever griffin slayer put out all of this fire before it could reach him and scorch him.  And Flanders was not harmed by this griffin fire.

Next Sawtooth did something new by a griffin never done before in battle.  And Flanders Nickels was caught off guard by this most novel strategy.  As Flanders was preparing his mace to strike down upon the front of the great and terrible gray griffin, this same gray griffin turned his back toward Flanders and exposed his back end toward the ready mace.  Flanders did hesitate with curiosity.  And right then the griffin reached out his lion’s tail from behind himself up here in flight and did wrap his tail around the neck of the man standing on the unicorn.  This was like to pull Flanders right off of the unicorn’s back.  But Flanders reacted quickly and struck the tail at its base with his mace, quite cutting off the tail from the back end of the griffin.  But the whole severed tail was still wrapped around his neck, and it was choking him like a noose.  Though not dragged off of Decade’s back where he was standing, Flanders found himself falling down upon Decade’s back in a sitting position and grabbing this severed griffin tail with both hands and with his mace.

“Flanders, what’s wrong?” cried out Tracy.

“I cannot breathe,” said Flanders.

“Hit it with your mace, O Flanders,” suggested Decade, understanding the crisis.  Flanders struck his mace back toward himself in his right hand upon the living dismembered griffin tail that was choking him.  Behold, with one smiting, the tail died and fell off and went down to the Earth.

“I can breathe!” said Flanders in great relief.

Right away Sawtooth went on to the next battle plan conceived impromptu in his martial head.

Tracy this time said, “I see smoke coming out of his mouth again, Flanders.”

Flanders stood up in a crouch upon flying Decade.  But this time, the Christian man of war said,

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“Hover, good Decade.”

“You mean ‘stay put,’ Flanders?” asked the winged unicorn in confusion.

“Yes, Decade,” said Flanders.  “Neither advance nor retreat.”  And the unicorn obeyed the man.

Then Sawtooth opened his beak, and fire came out again.  But this time he turned his head as he shot his fire out.  That meant, unlike last time where he shot out a fire stream, this time he shot out a fire storm.  That strategy would have been more effective at reaching a moving target than the griffin’s previous strategy with his fire.  But this strategy of this time was less effective with a still target like the one that the Christian soldier had bated him with right now.  And all that Flanders had to do to put out this fire storm was to swing his mace in one double swing—left to right, then right to left.  And, behold, the fire was put out, harming neither girl nor man nor unicorn.

Right away did Sawtooth seek to carry out another savvy military ploy.  The Full Professor Griffin turned his right side toward Flanders’s left side and began to force a mighty wind from his right wing to blow the warrior off of the unicorn’s back.  Such a gale was never experienced by any other griffin slayer than the one that Flanders had to endure now.  Calling upon God Almighty for strength, Flanders Nickels found strength in God Almighty.  And with his left hand, the Christian warrior swung his mace and crashed it down into that great right wing.  Behold, the wing was maimed with great tears and breaks and holes all throughout.

But Sawtooth was not finished.  Nor was Sawtooth fazed by this great battle wound.  And Sawtooth proceeded to do the same thing with his left wing.  Repeating a tactic that had just failed him,

this Full Professor Gray Griffin this time came along to Flanders’s right side and made the same gale force winds upon the man with his yet-good and powerful left wing.  Again Flanders prayed for strength from God, and again God gave him His strength.  And in this fierce wind storm Flanders swung his mace in his right hand and crashed it down upon this powerful and mighty left wing of the griffin.  Behold, upon this left wing now, also tears and breaks and holes unto maiming.

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This gray griffin of gray griffins could not live from these battle wounds.  He was about to fall all the way down to Earth to his certain death.  And Sawtooth knew that he was going to Hell.  His last words to Flanders and to Tracy and to Decade were, “I have seen the face of the knight, and it was like seeing the lake of fire.”

And Sawtooth, the griffin of griffins, fell thousands of feet down to the ground, dying even before hitting the ground.

Giving final orders, Flanders Nickels said, “Let us now light, Decade.”

And the winged unicorn, the mistress holding on below and the man of war holding on above, descended gently back safe and sound upon the ground.

The three, now standing upon the Earth once again, looked upon the once invincible Sawtooth, dead there on his side before them.

“He saw what the knight looks like in his face,” said Tracy Majesty.  “It must have been very scary.”

“Sawtooth has seen fear in his brave and wicked life only in that one moment,” said Flanders.

“It had affected his reasoning in our battle just now,” said Decade.

“”Let’s get rid of this nasty Sawtooth in the way that only the Holy Spirit can clean up things,”

said Flanders Nickels.

And the three called upon the Holy Ghost in prayer, and the Holy Ghost answered their prayer and did bring the winds of God upon this place and did take away this giant carcass atom by atom until it was all gone from the land.

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CHAPTER XVIII

Flanders Nickels and his cheerleader girlfriend got alone with Pastor and his wife this day for fellowship and for counsel.  They were sitting out back of the church upon the edge of the little short retaining wall, their legs hanging over the edge of the logs and their feet just above the parking lot back here.  Tracy said, “I like how this back wall of the church is all brown.”

“Dark brown,” said Flanders.

Pastor went on to say, “I remember when someone was throwing a ball up against this wall one night during my message.”

Emmy said, “It was night and dark, and we kept hearing this ‘bang’ behind where Pastor was preaching.”

Flanders said, “You sent the deacon out to make it stop.”

Tracy said, “And it stopped.  It was a playful boy.”

“A good little boy who was just having some fun,” said Emmy.

“I do believe that our deacon gave him a tract,” said Flanders.

“He did,” said Tracy.

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Flanders said, “I wonder if God will ever let me move on to a new ministry in my life as a born-again believer, Pastor.”

“Do you no longer have rest as God’s griffin-slayer, Brother?” asked Pastor.

“It is becoming overwhelming, Pastor,” said Flanders.

“It is a dangerous ministry,” said Pastor.

“My life is in danger every day,” said Flanders.

“And all just because of me,” said Tracy.

“I wish that I could come back with you and the men of the church on Thursday Evening Visitation,” said Flanders.

“But the gray griffins keep him too busy,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.

“Soul-winning is perhaps the greatest ministry any Christian can have,” said Flanders.  “The Bible says in Romans 10:15 that even the feet of soul-winners are beautiful in the eyes of God.”

“We miss you very much on visitation, Brother,” said Pastor.  “I’ve been praying that you can start coming out with us again on a regular basis.”

“I am glad to hear that,” said Flanders.

“You well know Romans 10:17, Flanders,” said the pastor.

“Oh, I do, Pastor.  You preach it all the time.  It says, ‘So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.’  I learned that soul-winning verse from you,” said Flanders.

“Do you know Psalm 100:2, what it says in its first part?” asked Pastor.

“It says, ‘Serve the Lord with gladness:…’” Flanders recited with Bible wisdom.

Emmy said, “Flanders serves the Lord as griffin slayer on behalf of his girlfriend.”

Tracy said, “I’d be dead now many times over if it weren’t for you, Flanders.”

Pastor asked, “Flanders, can you no longer serve the Lord with gladness in killing demons?”

“Giving out tracts is a lot easier,” confessed Flanders.

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“Soul-winning is hard work; slaying gray griffins is even harder work,” said Pastor.

“But I do not want to lose you in this life, Tracy,” said Flanders.  “I need you here with me in my walk with Christ.”

“And I don’t want to die young, even though I get to go to Heaven,” said Miss Majesty.

Pastor said, “Sometimes change in a believer’s life comes from God.  I started out as a Baptist church planter in Pine River, Minnesota.  Then God sent me to Fond Du Lac, Wisconsin.  Then God sent me to Iron River, Michigan.  Now God has me to serve Him in De Pere, Wisconsin here.”

“So then change is not a bad thing,” said Flanders.

Pastor said, “Change can be a good thing if it is the will of the Lord.”

“Maybe we can live our lives together someday as boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ without all of these demons coming after us, Flanders,” said Tracy.

Emmy said, “Both of you would be so much happier together if you got rid of those terrible griffins.”

“Yeah!” said Flanders.

“Yes.  We would be, Emmy,” said Tracy.

Pastor said, “Let’s look into God’s Word to see what He has to say about this.”  And Pastor opened up his King James Bible and read, “’For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.  Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.  And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.’  I John 3:20-22.”

“What does that say, Pastor?” asked Flanders.

“What is God saying there, Pastor Steadfast?” asked the cheerleader girlfriend.

“Is your heart right with God in your Christian walk?” answered Pastor, knowing the good and true reply that these two pillars of the church would give.

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“I believe that my heart is good with Jesus, Pastor Steadfast,” said Miss Majesty.

“I’m sure that my heart is right with God, too,” said Flanders.

“You two still come to church every time the doors are open,” said Pastor.

“And we will still keep coming to church every time the doors are open,” said Flanders.

“A team of wild horses cannot keep me and Flanders from church,” said Tracy.

“You two still read and study your King James Bibles every day,” said Pastor.

“Just as did the Berean Christians whom Paul met on his second missionary journey,” said Flanders Nickels.  “Every day ever since I got born again.”

“As Job says in Job 23:12, Pastor, ‘I have esteemed the words of his mouth more than my necessary food,’” declared Tracy Majesty in truth about her love for the Holy Bible.

“And you two both pray every day,” said Pastor Steadfast.

“In the sunrise and in the sunset,” said Flanders.  “And lots of times between.”

“Every night for me, Pastor,” said Tracy.  “And on Fridays for two hours straight.”

Emmy said, “Pastor, ask them to ask God to search their hearts.”

Pastor opened his Bible up to Psalm 139:23-24 and read it to them, “Flanders, Tracy, it is written, ‘Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:  And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.’”

Flanders said, “I think that I know where sin may be hiding in my life as a born-again Christian.”

“You don’t have to tell us, Brother,” said Pastor.  “It is between you and God.”

“If I do tell you, Pastor, Emmy, maybe it might be a good thing to get off of my chest,” said Flanders.

“Are you sure that you want to, Flanders?” asked Emmy.

Tracy said, “They already know, Flanders.”

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“Yes,” said Flanders.  “It was my first year of dating you, Tracy in our two years of dating together.”

“Ah…the unequal yoke,” said Pastor.

“But, Pastor,” said Emmy.  “He does not do that anymore.”

The cheerleader said, “I went and got saved, and it was no longer him unequally yoked together with me.  You always say in your sermons, Pastor, that a saved boy living for Jesus should only date a saved girl who is also living for Jesus.”

“You are both mightily saved and mightily living for Jesus,” said Pastor.  “I am not sure if I have the answer.”

“I so know the bad thing that I so did,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.  “One day in my old life of sin I went after the knight himself of the gray griffins in search for a girl’s good time for my first time.  I changed my mind.  I ran off.  And I never saw that knight again.  And in my sinners’ prayer—when Flanders led me to Christ at the goal posts a year into our relationship—I told God that I was sorry for my sins as a lost girl.  I was including that sin of pursuit of fornication in my secret thoughts when I prayed that.  I believe that these problems that Flanders and I are having are because of my sins before salvation.”

Emmy quickly responded, “No.  Not so, O Tracy.  God does not punish the child of God for sins  that she committed before she found Christ.  When you prayed and got saved with Flanders that night, God put all of your sins behind His back and he remembered them no more.”

“Then why do these gray griffins keep coming after us?” asked the Christian cheerleader.

Flanders went on to say, “When I asked you for a first date, Tracy, and you said, ‘Yes!’ I knew that I was doing the wrong thing in God’s eyes.  Right after that the gray griffins started to come after me!  You were not the one who was supposed to know better.  I was the one who was supposed to know better.  You were unsaved.  I was saved.  God told me not to do ask you out.  I did it anyway.  And my

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soul-winning days with the men of the church was suddenly providentially hindered and soon quite taken away from me.  I love you, Tracy.  And I hold my ministry as protector of my cheerleader girlfriend in most utmost esteem and necessity.  But your boyfriend is a griffin slayer weary with battle.  I long to go back to battling over the souls of men and women and boys and girls.”

Pastor said, “You have repented most consummately from your unequal yoke, Flanders.  As on fire for the Lord as you were with Tracy as your unsaved girlfriend, you have become even more on fire for the Lord with Tracy as your saved girlfriend.”

Emmy thought out loud, saying, “Tracy, you have sorrowed and repented over your little fling with the knight when you called upon God to save your soul.”

“Yes, Emmy.  That I did,” said the cheerleader.

“Then Flanders, have you sorrowed and repented over your big fling with Tracy for that first year with her?” asked Emmy.

“I did most assuredly repented of that life of unequal yoke, Emmy,” said Flanders.  “Haven’t I?”  he then asked.

“You repented, Flanders,” said Pastor’s wife.  “But did you ever sorrow over than sin that lasted for that one year?”

Flanders was suddenly without answer.

Tracy said, “After I finally got born again, I said, ‘I’m sorry,’ to God lots of times for how I snared you like I did as a non-Christian girlfriend.  Did you never do the same for letting yourself get snared all of our times together, Flanders?”

“I never actually got down on my knees and said to God, ‘I’m sorry,’ about that even one time,” said Flanders.  “I guess that I thought that all was okay once again all throughout our second year together without any sorrowing to God for what I was doing to God in our first year together.  I got you saved, we were suddenly equally yoked together as God said to me to be, and everything seemed all

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good to go with God.  And I continued dating you saved as I had when you were lost.”

Pastor spoke up now and said, “Repentance of a sin is not complete repentance if it does not bring about godly sorrow for the sin having been committed.”

“Pastor, Emmy, Tracy, it seems that my repentance was without that godly sorrow,” confessed Flanders Nickels.

“It is written,” recited Pastor Steadfast, “’Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance:  for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing.  For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of:  but the sorrow of the world worketh death.  For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge!  In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter.’  II Corinthians 7:9-11.”

“Sin cannot take away a believer’s salvation, but it can take away joy of the Lord for that believer,” said Flanders in confession.  “I really went and did it, Tracy.  If you were not already a good and proper and moral lady of a girl in your lost life, I could have backslidden with you before you got saved.  What can I say to God?  I am guilty.  I am bad.  I am unclean.  I am sorry.”

“Good, Brother Flanders,” exhorted Pastor.  “Now say that to God.”

Pastor and Emmy looked at each other and stood up.  Tracy also stood up.

“I will…right now,” said Flanders.

And Pastor said, “Emmy and I will leave you alone with God in this moment of prayer, good Brother Flanders.  You are doing a good thing.  We will be praying for you in the church kitchen.”

Flanders and his cheerleader girlfriend now looked at each other.  “Should I stay?” she asked.

“Would you, Tracy?” he asked.  He suddenly turned from her face.

“I cannot,” she said, knowing the very personal nature of this prayer of her boyfriend.

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“This prayer your boyfriend must pray alone,” said Flanders in agreement.

And the cheerleader girlfriend in like left Flanders alone with the Lord right now.  And Tracy went into the church to pray for him along with Pastor and his wife.  And Flanders Nickels sat alone now upon this green grass along the edge of this wooden retaining wall just above and along the parking lot behind this little Baptist church.  He was alone with his Heavenly Father and with his personal Saviour and with the Holy Ghost.  And he commenced his prayer for forgiveness in salutation to the Father in the words of the Holy Spirit and in the name of the Saviour Jesus Christ.

He began with silent thought words of mild emotions.  He continued with silent thought words of strong emotions.  He then continued with quiet words of spoken tongue.  And he continued with loud words of spoken tongue. He then continued with no words, but with slapping his palms on the ground to both sides.  And he continued with no words, but with pounding his palms on the ground to both sides.  And he continued with words with kicking of his legs from where he sat.  And he continued with  words of standing now from where he leaned and pounding his feet upon the blacktop one at a time.

And he finished with kneeling upon this blacktop right in front of this retaining wall, his head just barely above the logs and his eyes closed in passion, and his face shedding tears, and his words saying, “Father, I have sinned against Heaven, and before Thee, and am no more worthy to be called Thy son:  make me as one of Thy hired servants.”

And God heard him from Heaven, and God was well-pleased, and God forgave him.  Flanders opened his eyes from his prayer and put his chin upon the top of the logs before him and looked upon the green grass right in front of his eyes.  He wiped his eyes, took a deep breath or two, and sought rest upon his knees from so arduous a prayer.  And God gave his body rest and strength and wellness.

And he got back to his feet. He took a few steps around to regain his senses.  And he sat back down upon the retaining wall.  He rested his hands upon his knees and saw blood upon his blue jeans over his

knees.  Lo, both hands were bleeding a little.  He had pounded them hard upon the ground when his

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prayer was gaining in its fiery intensity.  He brought both palms together, and they both hurt, but the bleeding did stop quickly.  Then his feet began to hurt.  He took off his penny loafers and took a look at his bare feet.  Behold, they were bleeding, too.  He had pounded them hard upon the church parking lot when his penitential prayer was reaching its climax.  How this could happen to the feet of a young man who walked barefoot every day this summer to toughen up his feet every year at this time manifested the ferocity of this prayer more fierce than any other prayer he had prayed since becoming born again.

Wow!  He needed his cheerleader girlfriend to be with him now.  And he called forth, “Tracy?” barely audibly.  And Tracy came out of the church building for him right now.

She said, “God told me that you called for me, Flanders.”

“I did call for you, beautiful Tracy,” he said.  “It is real good to see you.  Would you come up to me and put your arms around me?”

To comfort her boyfriend after this spiritual experience of so torrid a prayer, she came up to him where he sat, sat beside him, and put her arms around his shoulders.  “Are you okay, Flanders?” she asked.

“I feel better now, Tracy,” he said.  “God has forgiven me.”

“Can you forgive me, Flanders?” she asked.

“I most surely do, Tracy,” he said.  “Can you forgive me, too?”

“I most definitely do, Flanders,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.  She kept both of her arms around his shoulders.  He leaned his head against her head.  He sighed in contentment.  She sighed likewise.

“I think that things will be good for us for now on, Tracy,” he said.  “I feel perfect joy in the Lord again after all of these many months.”

“You can come back to soul-winning,  Can’t you?” she asked.

“And I think that I can put away my mace,” he said.

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“And we two born-again believers can live our lives together in peace for now on as boyfriend-and-girlfriend.  Right, Flanders?” she asked.

“Perfect peace is reserved for us two in Heaven, girlfriend,” he did say.

Then Pastor and Emmy came back out to join them.  And the four rejoiced in the God of second chances for bringing Flanders back into the full will of God.

Just then a mighty invincible phalanx of demons began to cross above the skies in a din of piercing screeches.  All four looked up.  Woe! What looked to be a hundred gray griffins right above the four mortals way up in the upper firmament!

In good faith, Tracy said, “If God wants us to die, let us die.  We will end up in a Better Place.”

Flanders said, “This time I shall not remove my mace from my holster.”

Pastor boggled as so inexplicable a phenomenon, and he said, “These are what you have been fighting, Brother Flanders?”

And Emmy said, “These must be all there are of them in the whole world.”

“Yes, Pastor.  Yes, Emmy,” said Flanders.  “These were the kinds of demons I was killing as griffin-slayer.  And yes, these look like the whole family of gray griffins whose father is that demoniac knight.”

But as the four born-again believers did look up and watch, these gray griffins continued on their way, neither descending for final revenge nor pausing to look down upon them nor stopping their flight.  The bane of all gray griffins—their griffin slayer and his cheerleader girlfriend—were right here for an easy kill and an easy kidnapping.  But they did not care.  They just kept flying by overhead and paying these two no heed whatsoever.  And very soon after, they could be seen no more as they disappeared into the horizon.

“Now that’s queer!” said Tracy Majesty, now knowing that she was going to live.

“They came.  They did nothing to us.  They left,” said Flanders in great puzzlement.

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“I think that I understand now, Brother Flanders,” said Pastor Steadfast.  “Remember how you just prayed just a while ago when we three left you alone with God here.  You came back to God with your old sin of ago now forgiven.  And now God has just blessed you with a blessing.  The gray griffins left you alone.  And they will never come back.”

Emmy said, “They were all flying south.  Does that mean anything, do you think?”

The cheerleader girlfriend said, “They lived in Parts Unknown way north with the knight.”

Emmy asked, “Maybe that knight gave up fighting you both and has sent his one hundred children to go get another good Christian man or Christian woman who did them wrong for the cause of Christ.”

Pastor said, “I can see no other Christian man or Christian woman who can do them wrong for the good cause of Christ anywhere near as much as our Flanders and our Tracy, Emmy.”

“I think that I know what is happening,” said Flanders Nickels.  “If they are all together like this on a journey all at once from the north toward the south, I do believe that they and their father the knight had an irreconcilable falling out.  I do believe that the children of the knight—all one hundred gray griffins in this world—are leaving the knight and not coming back.  Instructor griffins and lecturer griffins and assistant professor griffins and associate professor griffins and full professor griffins are fleeing Lucifer’s most diabolical demon his knight.  We shall never have to fight a gray griffin again,

O Tracy my cheerleader.”

“Really, Flanders?” she asked.

“Really, Tracy,” said Flanders.

“Praise the Lord!” she said.

“Thank God!” said Flanders.

“Amen, Brother!” said Flanders.

“I’m happy,” said Emmy.

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CHAPTER XIX

The cheerleader girlfriend lined up to shoot the basketball here with Flanders at Legion Park.

She was standing right at the free throw line.  Flanders had just gotten done making this shot.  Now she needed to make this shot, too, or else she would get a letter, and a letter in this game was a bad thing.  Right now at this point of the game, neither boyfriend nor girlfriend had a letter; the game was just started a little while ago.  She shot the basketball, and, lo, it hit the rim right in front in its center, and it bounced up into the air straight, and it fell down to the cement. It was a miss.  Tracy got her first letter.

And Flanders said, “That’s ‘H,’ girlfriend.”

“H to nothing,” teased Year the score in her master’s favor.

“I don’t want to play ‘Horse,’” said the cheerleader in mock sullenness.

“My mistress, you would rather play ‘Pig,’” said Decade.

“I’m bad at Horse,” she said.

“But you’re just as bad at Pig,” said Flanders.

“Only in Pig, Master, the girl loses more quickly,” said Year.

“What can I say?” asked the cheerleader girlfriend.  “I throw like a girl.”

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“It’s your turn now, Flanders,” said Decade.  “Caveat Emptor,  That’s Latin for ‘Whatever will be will be.’”

“No, Decade.  That’s Latin for ‘Let the buyer beware,’” corrected Flanders.  “The phrase for ‘Whatever will be will be,’ is ‘Que sera sera.’  And that’s Spanish.”

Tracy Majesty said, “It is also ‘Que sera sera’ in French, but it is pronounced differently.”

“I request less words and more action,” said Year.

And Flanders lined up to shoot his next shot.  He was at the edge of the basketball court out here straight to the right of the hoop and far away.

“Atta batta!  Atta batta!  Atta batta!” taunted the cheerleader in order to distract him now.

“That’s baseball talk,” said Flanders.  “I heard that at little league.”  And he shot, and the ball went right through the hoop in a perfect swish.

“That hurt,” said Tracy, wondering about her next letter were she to miss this same shot.

“If you think that hurts, girl, just wait till you go and try to throw the basketball,” teased her boyfriend.

“I’d rather play ‘Twenty-one,’” said the cheerleader girlfriend.

“You’re not the best twenty-one player among us four, woman,” said Flanders.

“I’m better than the horses,” said Tracy.

“They never played ‘Twenty-one,’” said Flanders Nickels.

“I do, though.  With you.  All the time,” said Tracy.  “Remember that time I beat you?”

“That was only that one time,” he said.

“Anything a boy can do, a girl can do better,” said the cheerleader.  And she went and shot this side shot from the right of the hoop.  Behold, the ball rose high up into the air, traveled forward only half of the way to the basket, and fell upon the cement and bounced away.

“You girls sure enough show us boys a thing or two about throwing a basketball,” teased the

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young man.

“Indeed, Master,” said Year.  “The girl shows you how to miss.”

“And she did it well,” said Flanders.

“H-O,” confessed Tracy Majesty.

“My mistress, all of a sudden it is ‘H-O’ to nothing,” lamented Decade the score of this game right now.

“God will give me the victory in this game in the end,” said Tracy.  “He is on my side because I am one of His children.”

“Mistress, would not the same God be on Flanders’s side as well, seeing that he also is a child of God?” called forth Decade.

“I thought of that as soon as I said that,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.

“Whom does God want to win this game, Master?” asked Year.

“The one who does not have all five letters first,” said Flanders in a tease of simple logic.

“Your turn again, Flanders,” said Miss Majesty.  “And remember, if you do ever end up missing—like maybe this shot—then you give me a chance to shoot my shot wherever I want to.  And then you have to make my shot, or you get the letter, boyfriend.”

“I never miss,” he said.

“And he never gets letters,” said Year.

This time Flanders Nickels lined up at the midsection of the basketball court and heaved the basketball as hard as he could, himself fully expecting to miss this shot, though preferring to have some fun nonetheless in the spirit of the game.  Yet, the ball bounced off of the backboard and did go right through the hoop!

“Yes!” said Flanders.  “Yes!  Yes!  Yes!”

“No.  No.  No,” said the cheerleader in mock woe, not without amazement.

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And Tracy Majesty lined up to shoot this shot that was too far for a girl like her to throw.  She looked way out to the end of this basketball court from its middle.  “My glasses are smudged,” she said.

“I can’t see through these lenses.”

“That will not make any difference whatever,” said Flanders.

“The miss is inevitable, Master,” said Year.

“And it will be indubitable, good Year,” said Flanders.

The glasses in her hands, the cheerleader studied her uniform.  “What are you pondering at time like this, Mistress?” asked Decade.

And Tracy Majesty said, “Should I wipe my glasses off with my cheerleader sweater or with my cheerleader skirt, O Decade?  So many decisions that we girls have to make in life.”

“The cheerleader sweater is not quite so important to you as your cheerleader skirt.  Use your sweater,” recommended her unicorn.

“I think that that I will do,” said Miss Majesty.

“But, on the other hand, a cheerleader skirt is easier to use for something like wiping your glasses than is your cheerleader sweater, my mistress,” said Decade.  “Go ahead, maybe, and use your skirt.”

“I think that that I will do,” said Tracy Majesty.  And she paused to wipe clean her glasses with her pleats.  Then she put back on her glasses and made herself ready for this big long shot.  And she sought to sling the basketball with her outstretched right arm.  And the basketball went and hit Flanders right in his ribs hard in a crazy little accident.

“Oh!” she said.  “I’m really really sorry, Flanders!”

“Ouch,” he said.  “That one hurt me more than it hurt you.”  Rubbing his ribs where he stood, he began to laugh.  It hurt to laugh some, but he still laughed.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

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“I am okay,” he said.

“Serves him right for all that trash talk, Mistress,” said Decade.

“I heard that crash all the way here, Master,” said Year, watching from the opposite free throw line.

“If you think that’s bad, I felt that crash,” said Flanders.

“I missed.  I got another letter.  Now I got an ‘R,” she said.

“You now have ‘H-O-R,’ crazy and wild girlfriend,” said Flanders.

“My master: nothing;  my master’s cheerleader: H-O-R,” said Year the score now.

“Year, how many games do our owners play where the one with nothing for points is the one who is winning?” asked Decade.

“I wish that we were playing ‘Around the World,’ instead,” said Tracy Majesty.

“You get dizzy playing that game,” said Flanders.

“Dizzy, playing ‘Around the World?” asked his cheerleader girlfriend.

“Not literally,” he said.

“I must get dizzy figuratively then playing that game,” said Miss Majesty.

“How is that so, Mistress?” asked Decade.  “What does the guy mean by that, do you think?”

“The guy is confused, Decade,” said the cheerleader.  “He said that I was the ‘ditz with the basketball’ that last time we played that game.”

Year spoke up and asked, “Master, do ditzes get dizzy?”

“Yes.  They do, Year,” said Flanders.  “All ditzes get dizzy in the head when they play ‘Around the World’ with me.”

“Figuratively.  Not literally,” asked Year.

“How can a man so athletic as yourself identify when a woman like myself gets dizzy in the head figuratively, O boyfriend?” asked Tracy Majesty.

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“She starts asking me to define my terms,” said Flanders.

“You mean like ‘nouns’ and ‘verbs’ and ‘adjectives’ and ‘adverbs,’ Flanders?” asked the coy cheerleader.

“No.  I mean like ‘darling’ and ‘dear’ and ‘honey.’” he did say in mirth.

“A girl like me just wants to hear her boyfriend call her that again,” she said.

“Master, there is too much racket going on right now,” said Year.

“Our owners are talking like men and women talk to each other again, Year,” said Decade.

“I cannot see the desire for such flirt,” said the she-horse.

“We animals are too sophisticated for that romance stuff,” said the he-unicorn.

“You horses miss out on the magic of romance, yourselves not being people,” said the cheerleader.

Then Flanders spoke up and said, “My turn again.  I will soon put you away, fair Tracy.”

“Where will you try to shoot this time?” she asked.

“Why, behind the backboard this time,” he said.

“Like over here in the grass?” she asked.

“Uh huh,” he said.  “Right behind the basketball court itself.”

“I have never made one of those, and neither have you, though you keep on trying, Flanders,” said the cheerleader girl.

“I prophesy that this time I will make this shot,” he said.

“Do you prophesy as a prophet?” she asked in gaiety.

“I do prophesy as a prophet,” he teased back.

“God says in I Corinthians chapter thirteen that He quit using prophets to give out His word when He had completed the canon of Scripture,” said learned Miss Majesty.

Always with a quick answer, Flanders said, “But I am not giving out His word.  I’m just telling

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you that I will make this next shot.”

“Then I dare you to just try to make this next shot,” she did say in sureness that this time he would miss.  “I’ll be waiting out here to retrieve the ball when it does miss.”  And she hopped out onto the free throw line to catch the ball.  He stepped out onto the grass of the park and looked up at the back of the backboard and at the back of the post, the hoop and net quite hidden from him back here.

Flanders studied the air above the top of the backboard’s back, pondered the steep fall that he needed the basketball to make, and evaluated the distance between the top of the backboard and the rim of the hoop that he could not see at the bottom of the backboard.  The cheerleader girlfriend spoke condescendingly down to her special boyfriend,  “If you would like to try a different shot in order to give me my next letter, I’ll let you change your mind.”

“We Christian soldiers do not change our mind,” he said.

“We Christian cheerleaders do not go and cheer for just anybody,” said Tracy Majesty.

And Flanders, holding the basketball down at his knees in both hands, most meticulously raised both arms straight up, and did toss the ball up into the air.  It rose straight up and scarcely forward to up above the backboard.  And it descended down most favorably for the man.  And, lo, it went right through the hoop.

Though not a cheer, what the cheerleader said to this was a most appreciative compliment to her special boyfriend, “Flanders, you threw that basketball like you used to swing your mace.”

Humbled by this kudo, Flanders said, “Why, thank you, fair Tracy.”

And she said, “Now I’ve got ‘H-O-R-S.’”

“Not yet, my mistress.  Not so,” said Decade.  “Remember, to get a letter in Horse, one has to first miss the shot that the previous player had made.  You did not miss this shot yet.”

“She may even make it,” said Year.  “Cheerleaders are athletic, too.”

“It’s not too long a shot for you to throw, O Mistress,” encouraged her winged unicorn.

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“Just throw it like I threw it, Tracy,” said Flanders.

“We young women can throw underhanded quite well for ourselves,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.

“I have seen our girl pitchers on our Redbird softball team,” said Flanders.

“I think that I will try,” said Miss Majesty.

And the cheerleader gal went and shot this shot just exactly as her boyfriend had shot it.  The three others waited on the other side with bated breath.  Tracy saw the basketball fall to the concrete behind the three watchers.  “I missed,  Didn’t I?” she asked.

“You got another letter, Mistress,” said Decade, still happy in the spirit of game.

And Year said, “That shot was not so good.”

And Flanders said, “That’s ‘H-O-R-S.’ for you, Miss Tracy H. Majesty.”

“Ah.  ‘H-O-R-S,’ for me; nothing for you, boyfriend,” said the cheerleader woman.

“Master, that’s a blooming shutout,” said Year.

“Not so fast, girl,” said Flanders to his horse pet.  “I have to give her an ‘E’ yet before we can go and call this game of Horse a shutout for me.”

Decade then said, “I think that my mistress would rather be playing basketball right now instead of horse right now.”

And Tracy Majesty repeated her unicorn’s words and said, “Yes.  I’d rather play basketball than

horse.”

“Shall we play basketball then right after horse?” asked Flanders.

“Flanders,” said Decade, “she wants to play basketball right now without playing horse anymore.”

“We can do that,” said Flanders.

But the cheerleader girlfriend spoke and said, “I want to finish horse first.  After this horse is

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done, I may not feel like playing basketball.”  Then she said, “Let’s not play basketball.”

“Such illogical a woman she is, Master,” said Year.  “Are all girls of your kind that way?”

“That they are,” said Flanders.  “But she’s beautiful.  So I don’t mind, Year.”

“Am I smart, too, Flanders?” she asked.

“Yes.  Straight A student like myself,” Flanders bragged on his special cheerleader lass.

“Does my smarts make up for my illogic as does my attraction?” she asked.

“Does my mace make up for my stature?” he said most artfully in response.

“You are the smallest tenth grade boy of De Pere High,” she said.

“But I swing a mean mace at the griffins,” he bragged on himself as her griffin slayer.  And in this manner, Flanders Nickels diverted the girl from herself unto himself.

And she said, “And you throw a mean basketball, handsome boyfriend.”

“Your turn is next, Flanders,” said Decade.

“I have had one free throw shot and three hard shots, and I have made them all, and you, Tracy, have missed them all,” announced Flanders.  “My luck may be running out on the hard shots.  I think that this time I will try the easiest shot of them all.  I can probably make it; you can possibly miss it.”

“What kind of shot is so easy that you think to give me the ‘E?’” asked the cheerleader in

inquisitiveness.

“Right up here in front of the net, girlfriend,” he said.  He went right up to there, the basketball in both of his hands.

“You can’t miss that.  I can’t miss that.  Even our pets can’t miss that,” said Tracy Majesty.

“Are you saying that I am wasting my time with the easiest shot?” he asked.

“I have never missed this shot before in all of our games of horse and pig,” she said.

“Are you saying that it is impossible for you to miss this shot?” he asked.

“It is impossible for anybody to miss this shot.” she did say.

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“We’ll see about that, woman,” he said.  And he stood there briefly, threw the ball up in the fingers of his right hand above and the fingers of his left hand below.  And the ball fell right through the net without erring.

“Foolish boyfriend,” said Tracy.  “You’re just stretching out this game.  If you don’t look out, you will snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.  I am a game competitor.  I never stop trying.  I never quit.  And I come back from behind.”

“Show me then, O cheerleader,” said Flanders.

“Would that this game were not called ‘horse,’ but, instead ‘hors d’oeuvre,’” boasted the cheerleader now desiring a longer game for this day.  Confident, perhaps overconfident, Tracy Majesty pranced up as a proud cheerleader with the basketball in her hands and stopped and looked up right in front of the basketball net.

“Not too fast, Mistress,” urged her winged he-unicorn.

“I can’t look,” said Year.

“Show me your stuff, girl,” said Flanders, egging her on to maybe get careless with this easiest shot of horse.

And this head varsity cheerleader paused to do a cheer against her opponent before shooting this shot:  “Give Flanders an ‘H!’  Give Flanders an ‘O!’  Give Flanders an ‘R!’  Give Flanders an ‘S!’  Give Flanders an ‘E!’  What do they spell?  ‘HORSE!’”

And Flanders’s cheerleader girlfriend went ahead and shot this ball with both hands upon it, her left hand along the left of the ball, and her right hand along the right of the ball.  This ball rose up, and it landed upon the right side of the rim.  Then it rose back up and landed on the left side of the rim.  And when it rose up again, it fell down to the ground in front of the hoop in a true miss.

“Give my cheerleader an ‘E!” cheered Flanders Nickels, holding his arms akimbo and kicking up his right let at his own first cheer ever before his own cheerleader.

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“Alas, my mistress,” said Decade, “the last letter.”

“It’s a shutout, Master,” said Year.

And the cheerleader girlfriend said “H-O-R-S-E for me, Flanders.”

“H-O-R-S-E for Tracy.  Not one letter for Flanders,” said the young man in the spirit of game.

“I wish I had played a free throw contest instead,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.

And all four laughed together in a good and fun time.

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CHAPTER XX

Flanders and his cheerleader girlfriend and his white winged horse were on a walk together on their way to VFW Park.  They were on the Claude-Allouez Bridge.  And they were above the Fox River.  Up ahead and to the left was St. Norbert College.  Off to the right in the river was the dam.  And man and woman and horse were halfway across the bridge.  The three paused in their walk now.

“What are you carrying your mace for along your hip again today, Flanders?” asked Tracy.

“Oh, just in case,” he said.

“But the griffins all ran off on the knight,” she said.

“Yes.  That they all did, Tracy—every last one of them,” said Flanders.  But the knight still remained.  He did not remind her of this.

“Just in case,” she said, content and inquiring no further.  Then she looked around on this normally-busy bridge, and she saw not one other traveler on this bridge with them, going from the east side of town to the west side of town, or from the west side of town to the east side of town.  And the cheerleader girlfriend said, “Strange, very strange, Flanders, how there is no one on this bridge right now but us three.”

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He looked around himself now, also.  Indeed no one but these three walkers were on the whole span of this major bridge.  “Odd, Tracy,” he concurred, “very odd.”

“I’m scared,” said the cheerleader.

“Something is not right,” he said.

“Master, such a thing as this can only be the supernatural,” said Year.

“But the gray griffins all left this area,” said Miss Majesty.  Suddenly she understood.  “Oh, him,” said the girl, mortified with understanding.  “I pray God that it is not he.”

“Pray God that we live to see another day,” said Year.

And Flanders said now, “We do not know right now.  Let us not make a ghost of that one.  He is not here yet.  And he probably will not ever be here.  Keep our eyes on God.”

“Flanders,” said the girl in fears, “Let us keep walking.”

“Let’s go back, Master,” said the winged she-horse.

“Nay!” said Flanders.  “We must keep going.  We were going to have some fun at VFW Park.  Let us not let that bane of old scare us away from our good time at the park.”

Nevertheless Flanders resumed walking west on the bridge, but with trembling knees.  Year followed after him.  And the cheerleader followed after Year.

Terror of terrors!  Horror of horrors!  There just up ahead on this bridge a knight in shining armor standing beside a great black steed with a lance pointing upward and its base upon the ground beside the knight!

“God save us!” cried out the cheerleader girl.

“He has already saved us, Tracy,” said Flanders about the Saviour of souls.

“God help us!” cried out Year.

“He shall help us, Year,” said Flanders.

Yet the knight and his dark horse just stood there.  They did not move.  They did not speak.

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They were both just standing there.  This unnerved even the Christian soldier.  Flanders then said, “Speak, O knight and your horse.”

And the baleful knight spoke five words, “O cheerleader, I am come.”

Tracy’s tongue was too frightened to speak back to this knight.  As always his helmet covered his head, and his visor covered his face, and his armor covered all the rest of his body.

In reprisal Flanders spoke his five words to the knight in shining armor, “O knight, go back away.”

Dark Horse spoke now and said, “No man talks to my master as you talk, O vain mortal man.”

Herself also greatly intimidated, Year gave forth no rebuttal, either.

But Flanders, strong in his Lord, did glare upon this evil mysterious knight, and he did say most boldly unto him, “O knight of the Devil, it is written, ‘…, O full of all subtilty and all mischief, thou child of the devil, thou enemy of all righteousness, wilt thou not cease to pervert the right ways of the Lord?’  Acts 13:10.”

In retaliation, himself also knowing the Bible as the Devil knows the Bible, the knight said right back to Flanders, “O man of God, is it not written, ‘As he loved cursing, so let it come upon him:  as he delighted not in blessing, so let it be far from him?’  Psalm 109:17.  So say I like back to you.”

Upset and offended at this demon speaking the Words of God, Flanders spoke more fighting words from the Scriptures right back upon him:  “It is written, ‘…, Rise thou, and fall upon us:  for as the man is, so is his strength.’  Judges 8:21.”

Himself being outmatched with Words in this battle of words, the knight said back to the Christian soldier, “It is written, ‘…, Come to me, and I will give thy flesh unto the fowls of the air, and to the beasts of the field:’  I Samuel 17:44.”

In assault with words, Flanders finished off his foe’s words with this, “And it is written, O most vile and reprobate knight, ‘And all this assembly shall know that the Lord saveth not with sword and

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spear: for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give you into our hands.’  I Samuel 17:47,”

Incensed, the knight took his upright lance in his gauntleted right hand, and he pounded its base upon the ground three times in challenge.  In accord with the knight, the coal black steed did likewise with his right fore hoof upon the ground beside his master.

And the war of words now became the war of actions.

Flanders Nickels now reached to the holster along his left hip with his right hand, opened the holster, grabbed the mace of God, and took it out.  He held this fearsome deadly mace up in the air in his right hand to his right side.  Understanding the will of her boyfriend soldier, the cheerleader girlfriend ran back a great way out of the way of the battle.  Year, also understanding her master, awaited his battle commands.  And at once Flanders sought to intimidate his demon foe with a show of great military prowess.  And he proceeded to carry out this show of military prowess.  He said to his ally, “Year, retreat, and charge.  I will join you on your way.” And his winged she-horse, though never having done this strategy before, did completely understand such an order never before given her.  She galloped back a way; then she galloped back at full speed.  And she thus charged in assault.  And as she

came up to Flanders in full charge, Flanders, with the mace held up in his right hand, did most nimbly leap up and indeed land upon the back of the racing white winged mare.  And Flanders charged the knight, Year’s own charge unabated in this assault against the knight.

But this knight was not a normal knight in shining armor.  He was not a natural knight in shining armor.  He was not a flesh and blood knight in shining armor.  And what this renowned demon slayer had just performed to psych out this knight only served to entice this Devil’s demon to imitate this man of God, matching tactics with tactics.  That is, the knight with Dark Horse went ahead and did the exact same thing that Flanders had just done with Year.  Yes, the knight in a full suit of shining armor did leap up and land upon the back of charging Dark Horse, his own lance held up in the air in his right hand, and did continue this charge, his black horse also not having slowed down in this attack.

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The great minion for evil and the great man of God quickly closed in on each other.  The long, long lance extended far out in front of the knight.  The mace of God gave short protection for the Christian soldier.  And God spoke to Flanders now in the still small voice of the Holy Spirit, saying, “Do not go after the knight per se with your mace.”

And Flanders understood that God was saying to him to instead go after the lance of the knight with his mace.  And the demon slayer obeyed the Words of the Lord.  And just as the lance was coming in unto his chest, Flanders batted it away to the side with his mace.  And the lance missed Flanders, and  the knight passed him by off to his side.  This was the last time one of these weapons would stay intact.

The soldiers of battles turned their horses back around to prepare for another assault.  But now the Devil began to talk to the knight.  The knight stopped Dark Horse and paused to listen to what Lucifer was saying to him.  Flanders could not hear the Devil.  But he could tell that the Devil was talking to this great adversary in battle.  And then Flanders saw the knight begin to carry out Satan’s battle orders.  This armor-clad knight dismounted his black steed, forced his lance into the road hard so that it stuck there and did not move, and walked fearlessly up to Flanders where he sat atop Year, himself holding his mace.  Then the knight stopped and began to measure paces back away from Flanders where he stood all the way back up to Dark Horse where he was standing.  Flanders thought to try to take down this vulnerable knight in this meanwhile, but God told him to wait a little while longer, and Flanders obediently awaited the word of the Lord.  Then the knight looked up into the first heaven, the sky of the prince of the power of the air, and he said to Lucifer.  “I have measured fifty paces, O father.”  And then he listened to what Flanders and Year could not hear, and he nodded his head in obeisance to the wicked one.  And the knight then took out his lance from the concrete, and he mounted Dark Horse for a charge.  Then God spoke now to Flanders, and He said, “Go now after that lance.””

And Flanders went now after it.  Flanders well took to heart God’ warning.  And he took extra caution not to accidentally end up striking the knight himself.  And good and evil met once again in the

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center.  The knight’s lance was aimed at Flanders’s heart; Flanders’s mace was aimed at the tip of the knight’s lance.  And just before impalement could have happened, Flanders Nickels swung his mace down upon the lance from above his head and struck this mace hard upon the lance’s tip with a harsh sound of collision.  Behold, this invincible knight gave forth a cry of pain, and the tip of his lance did break off of the rest of his lance, and it fell down upon the road of bridge and lay there impotent.  It looked to be about one foot long.  And it looked most vulnerable as it lay there.  And it looked quaintly out of place there broken off as it was.  But no man had ever heard the knight cry out in pain before.

With his erudite days of warfare, Flanders could only deduce that this damage done to the knight’s lance had caused his knighthood himself pain.  Indeed Flanders had not struck the knight himself with

his mace.  And that last time, his mace had diverted the knight’s lance and had not broken it, and the knight had not cried out in pain that time.  God was most wise.  And now Flanders Nickels knew how he could harm this previously unconquerable enemy.

Relentless and persistent, the knight again dismounted Dark Horse, stuck his now compromised lance into the road, and came again up to Flanders without threat, and began to again measure paces away from Flanders with steps.  Then he looked up at his evil father and said, “I have measured forty-five paces this time, as you will, O Lucifer.”  Then the demonic knight again picked up his lance out of the bed of the road, mounted his black steed, and charged, his damaged lance still able to kill and now once again aimed at Flanders’s upper chest.

Flanders himself commanded his Year to charge likewise.  And again the two met in the middle.

And again the lance came so close in unto Flanders’s chest and Flanders did successfully once again strike it down with his mace from God in the nick of time, and the knight did miss again.  This second such collision between lance tip and mace was as loud as the first such collision in this battle.  And another piece of the lance broke right off, and the knight betrayed another cry of pain from his throat.

There it was, upon the concrete—a second piece of the tip of the lance, one foot long, bare, separated,

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passed away.  The knight now had a second wound in his self-hood incurred directly and supernaturally

from this second damage done to his lance.

But the knight would not quit.  Again he dismounted, set up his lance, approached Flanders, and paced back in measured steps back toward Dark Horse.  Then he picked back up his lance, looked up and said, “I have paced forty steps this time, as you commanded, father.”  Then he picked up his lance, mounted Dark Horse once again, and once again did as Lucifer was telling him to do.

In like manner, Flanders Nickels, obeying God, began to charge the knight as the knight was charging him.  And the two met in the center, and Flanders brought down his mace upon the tip of the lance just before the lance reached him.  And again the top end of the lance broke off, and the knight betrayed a cry of another wound.  This third piece was also one foot long.  The lance was getting shorter now.  And the knight was getting weary.  And Flanders was still strong and ready for more battle.

All of this happened for a fourth time, this time with only thirty-five paces for the knight in shining armor.  And again the one-foot piece broke off, and the knight suffered another wound.

It happened once again all over for this knight for the fifth time, this time with only thirty paces separating white horse from black horse.

And a sixth time with twenty-five paces.  And a seventh time with twenty paces.  And an eighth time with fifteen paces.  And a ninth time with ten paces.  And a tenth time with only five paces.

Ten pieces of one foot long each of this knight’s jousting lance were all scattered like dry bones throughout this section of the Claude-Allouez Bridge.  This lance was now only twelve inches long.

It was now shorter than the length of Flanders’s mace.  And its reach advantage Flanders and God did whittle down until it became this mere handle.  Weak, weary, wounded, the knight dismounted.

And, as for the great and terrible knight of the north, he was now more worse off than was his lance.  He stood there in the middle of the two lanes, his armor-booted feet struggling to stay in place

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where he stood upon the two yellow lines.

Caught up in the spirit of imminent victory, Year said, “Hit him, Master!”

But Flanders said, “God told me not to hit him,”

The cheerleader girlfriend, her courage compelling her, ran up to be with her boyfriend and his winged horse.  She said, “Let me hit that dastardly knight in shining armor.”

And Flanders told her what God had told him, saying, “No one is allowed of God to strike this knight with my mace.”

The three watched as the knight hobbled over to the railing along the side of the bridge.  He fell against the railing and fought to hold himself up.  On this side of the De Pere bridge was the dam.  He looked over the edge, and his head inside his helmet grew disorientated.  He proffered his left hand toward Dark Horse for help, and Dark Horse came up to him and let him lean against his equine shoulder.  In the knight’s right hand was the last piece of his lance.

“What would God want us to do in this battle right now, Master?” whispered Year.

“I think that we simply wait for God to do His work,” said Flanders.

“Is our Good Lord going to finish him off?” asked Tracy quietly.

“Such a thing as that no griffin-slayer can do,” said Flanders.  “Only Almighty God can finish off such a one as this knight.”

Just then a most noisome and hideous harpy came flying up to them from the north.  She lighted upon the bridge before them, took one look at the greatly wounded knight, and said, “Husband, jump!”

“What hath God wrought?” said Flanders Nickels.  “He is using a harpy to do His work.”

“Aren’t harpies also demons?” asked the cheerleader.

“Yes, O Tracy,” said Flanders, amazed at the ways of the Lord.  “God has sent this knight’s wife

to finish him off.”

The five besides the knight here on this bridge all looked upon the dying knight.  His towering

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stature was way above the top of the railing.  He was leaning too far forward in his faintness for his own good.  And then even Dark Horse backed away from his hand, leaving him to stand up on his own.

And the indomitable knight was about to fall.  With strength of life left only to do one last thing in this world, the knight reached his gauntleted hands to his helmet, and he took off his helmet, but did not turn his face back toward his little audience.  Neither Flanders nor the other four with him could see this knight’s face because it was still turned toward the river.  And then, just like that, he fainted away into unconsciousness, fell over the railing headfirst, his helmet in his left hand and his remnant of lance in his right hand, and crashed into the Fox River way below into death.  All five quickly rushed to the railing to look.  And there he was going through the dam, his body mangled and crushed and broken up by the dam, and his spirit and his soul going into the lake of fire, that was prepared by God for the Devil and his angels.  But none of these five could get a good look at his face.  And no man or woman or beast had ever seen this knight’s face behind that visor to this day, except for the great gray griffin, his eldest son, who had found fear for any griffin’s first time because of that.

Nobody at first said anything.  But the first one to speak was the harpy.  And she spoke to the knight’s black horse, “Good riddance, Dark Horse.  Take me back home now.”  And the harpy mounted  the black steed, and the black steed began to run north.  And both demons were soon out of sight.

Now only Flanders and his she-horse and his Christian cheerleader girlfriend were left upon this bridge.  He said, “Now I can put my mace back into its holster, fairest Tracy.  And I need never to take it back out again.”

“That’s because the knight is taken out of our lives, Flanders.” she said.

Year said, “Look, Master, people are coming out on this bridge now.”

Sure enough, travelers were now once again traveling east and west on this bridge.  And Tracy Majesty said, “God must have kept them off of this bridge for the great battle.”

“I do believe you’re right on at that, Tracy,” agreed Flanders.

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Knowing that something grotesque and fascinating had happened just now, people and animals were looking over the railing toward the dam below to see what they might see.  But there was nothing more for anyone to see now.

Happy in the Lord like never before, the cheerleader girlfriend Tracy Haley Majesty began to sing the great hymn, “To God Be the Glory”:

“1.  To God be the glory—great things He hath done!

So loved He the world that He gave us His Son,

Who yielded His life an atonement for sin

And opened the Life-gate that all may go in.

Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, Let the earth hear His voice!

Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, Let the people rejoice!

O come to the Father thru Jesus the Son,

And give Him the glory—great things He hath done.

 

2. O perfect redemption, the purchase of blood!

To ev’ry believer the promise of God;

The vilest offender who truly believes,

That moment from Jesus a pardon receives.

Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, Let the earth hear His voice!

Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, Let the people rejoice!

O come to the Father thru Jesus the Son,

And give Him the glory—great things He hath done.

 

3. Great things He hath taught us, great things He hath done,

And great our rejoicing thru Jesus the Son;

But purer and higher and greater will be

Our wonder, our transport, when Jesus we see.

Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, Let the earth hear His voice!

Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, Let the people rejoice!

O come to the Father thru Jesus the Son,

And give Him the glory—great things He hath done.”

 

“Our Lord has slain the knight,” said Year.

 

“To God be the glory,” said Flanders Arckery Nickels.

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CHAPTER XXI

Flanders Nickels and his cheerleader girlfriend were on another date together at Voyageur Park here in their east De Pere.  A few days had gone by since the culminating battle against the knight.  And also now the Redbird football season was finished for the year.  Tracy’s days as head varsity football cheerleader were done now for this sophomore year of hers and Flanders’s.  Of course, for herself and for her boyfriend, Miss Majesty still had on her cheerleader uniform once again this day, too.  Cheerleader and boyfriend were sitting upon the far end of the middle pier of the piers that extended off of the main dock, their legs hanging over the edge.  This day was a windy day, and the wind made waves in the Fox River, and the waves shook and moved this middle pier up and down and left and right.

Tracy said, “A girl could get dizzy sitting here like this with the way the river is today.”

“A girl could get seasick, Tracy,” said Flanders.

“Not a cheerleader, Flanders,” she said.  “We cheerleaders are athletes, too.”

Flanders’s put his penny-loafer-covered bare feet down into the river here up at the end of the pier from where he sat.  Tracy did the same with her sneaker-and-knee-sock-covered feet from where

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she sat, also.

“We can do things together like this with our heights both the same, Tracy,” Flanders said.

“Our legs are the same length, and our torsos are the same length,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.  “We are both five feet eight inches tall, boyfriend.”

“If we were any shorter, our feet could not reach down to the river,” he said.

“This is romantic, Flanders,” she said, splashing up water with her cheerleader sneakers down there.

He went and did the same with his feet in the river down there.  “I am happy with you here at my side, Tracy,” he said.

Then he looked upon this pier to look upon the two packages that Tracy Majesty had brought here to show him on this date.  These two packages were two little cardboard boxes, and they lay there between boy and girl, one box on top of the other box.

“You probably wonder what’s in them that I have to show you, Flanders,” said his cheerleader girl.

“May I pick them up?  May I hold them?  May I read what is on them?” he asked, excited and greatly curious.

“You may do anything, but open them,” she said.  “It must be me who gets to open them, boyfriend.  Your girlfriend gets the privilege of going ahead and showing you what she got.”

And he picked up the top box.  It was the slightly bigger of the two boxes.  It was lightweight, its contents feeling lighter than its container.  The return address sticker said, “Varsity, Incorporated.”

Its sending address sticker said, “De Pere High School, 1700 Chicago Street, De Pere, WI, 54115.”

And in black magic marker were the words written, “For Tracy Majesty.”  Flanders shook it, but nothing within this box rattled or made any noise.  He then set this box down and did pick up the other little box and looked upon it and studied it.  It had the same return address and sending address and

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black magic marker note as the first box.  It was a little smaller box, and it also felt empty and made no sound when Flanders shook it.  He then set this box down as well, making sure to put it back under the bigger box, just as his cheerleader girlfriend had it.  “I’m ready, girl,” he said.  “Show me.”

“Oo!  Oo!  I’m ready, too!” said Tracy H. Majesty.  “I saw pictures of it in the catalog!  Now I get to see the real thing for myself!”

And she took the slightly larger box and opened it up more zealously than carefully.  And she took out its contents and did hold it up before herself and her boyfriend.  It shone in pure luster of much deep maroon.  It had a V-neck and was sleeveless.  Two white stripes ran across its shoulders.  Two white stripes ran across it bodice just below the midriff.  Two white stripes ran diagonally from both shoulders down to the middle of the midriff stripes, forming a large “V-shape.”  A chenille emblem that was a large white “D” adorned the field of maroon above this large “V-shape.”  This brand new top could completely and enchantingly cover the whole torso of his cheerleader girlfriend.

“Tracy, this is stunning!” he said.

“It’s called a ‘cheerleader vest,’ Flanders,” said Tracy.  “I’m wearing this at the Redbird football games next year.”

“Well, Tracy.  I like it!” he said.

“High schools only stay with their official cheerleaders’ uniforms for three years or so before they go and pick new official cheerleaders’ uniforms.  Cheerleader fashions change over the years.  And we cheerleaders do not wear the same outfits for cheering all four years of high school.”

“Then this other box must be the next official cheerleader skirt for you to wear and to lead in cheer next year, Tracy,” he said.

“Yes!” she said.  “It is my new cheerleader’s skirt, Flanders

“I’m ready to see it, girl!” he said.

“So am I, Flanders,” said Tracy Majesty.  And she set down her cheerleader vest and picked up

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the second box.  And she tore open this box.  And both looked in.  “Ooo,” sang out Tracy Majesty.

“Ahhh, girl,” praised Flanders.

Tracy H. Majesty then took it out of the box and held it up in the air in both hands by its top hem.  This skirt was just as lustrous a deep magical maroon as the vest.  It had a band around its top, and it was all maroon throughout, and it had two white stripes running all around along the bottom.

And, of course, like all good cheerleader skirts, it had a zipper/button closure in its back. But this next year’s cheerleader skirt had most different types of pleats than what boyfriend-and-girlfriend had seen before.  These pleats were pleats that were all folded over to just the one side, one after another.

“What are those called, Tracy?” he asked, reaching out and touching this more contemporary style of cheerleader skirt pleat.

“I heard of these, Flanders,” said Miss Majesty.  “Now they are coming to De Pere High.”  And the cheerleader girlfriend answered his question, “I think that these are called ‘knife pleats.’”

“Oo oo!” he said.  “I think that I like these.”

“I would like to find out what these feel like on,” she said.

“And I would like to find out what my beautiful cheerleader girlfriend looks like with these on,” he said.

“Boyfriend, we are not at the sand dunes where no one else can see me.  We are at the park in the city where everyone can see me,” she said.

“I don’t mean for you to go behind a tree, silly woman,” he said.  “I was thinking about the park’s restroom up beyond the top of the hill.”

“Oh.  There.  You’re right,” she said.  “Silly woman.”

“Ha ha ha!” he said at her misunderstanding, and she grinned, hugged the two pieces of contemporary cheerleader apparel against her chest and began to skip up toward the restroom building in her traditional cheerleader apparel.

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And very soon after, she came out of the women’s restroom a new cheerleader, her arms now holding her traditional cheerleader uniform against her chest now in her contemporary cheerleader uniform.  And she skipped merrily down the hill and rejoined her boyfriend standing there on the pier.

He was holding his arms out.  And when she got there, she let fall her old uniform from her hands and did hug him in her new uniform.

“Nice.  Very nice,” he said, stepping back a step to admire her.

“How do I look, Flanders?” she asked, spinning about in place before him and letting her skirt fly up about her hips as she spun.

“I think that I might just learn to like mybrand new cheerleader girlfriend, Tracy Haley Majesty,” he did say.

“I do not know what to do with my old cheerleader clothes, Flanders,” she said.

“Do not go and throw them out—not ever, Tracy!” he did say.  “Do promise me that you will never do such a thing as that.”

“Don’t worry about that, boyfriend,” said Miss Majesty.  “Your cheerleader girlfriend can never do something like that to something like this.”  And she picked up this to which she was referring, and hugged them in her arms against her face.  “I promise you and God never to throw this away.”

“Keep them forever,” he said in great spirit of heritage.

“I was thinking of…what I want to do with…I think that God has told me to…,” she said, her words all choppy and sentences all broken up with the wild and crazy idea that she wanted to tell a cheerleader’s most fond boyfriend.

“The cat got your tongue, Tracy,” he said.  “Are you about to tell me what I think that you are about to tell me?”

“Yes, Flanders,” she said.

“Let me hear you say it to me, dear Tracy,” he said.

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And she told him in query, “Would you like my old cheerleader uniform, Flanders?”

In wonder and in marvel, he replied with a most avid terse, “Yes, my Tracy.”

“But you’ve got to promise me that you will never put it on, Flanders,” she gave stipulations to this offer.

“I promise never to put it on, Tracy,” he said in earnest integrity.

“Do you promise that to me in the name of God, Flanders?” she asked.

In truth and in sincerity Flanders Nickels said, “I promise that in the name of God, O Tracy.”

“Then it’s yours, Flanders,” she said, proffering it to him.

“It is all mine, girlfriend,” he said, accepting it most endearingly in his hands.  He began to fold up both garments, asked if he could have the two boxes and got the okay from her, and put them both endearingly in the boxes upon the pier.

He then bade her to sit with him on this pier for more fellowship.  And they sat back down together back upon the edge of this little dock, the two boxes again between them where they sat.

She said, “You heard my story about these new things in my cheer leading life, Flanders.  Do you have something now to tell me about new things in your life now?”

“You know your boyfriend-in-the-Lord very well, Tracy,” said Flanders Nickels.  He put this hand to his holster, unclasped it, and took out his mace from God.  And he announced to his girlfriend,

“Your Christian boyfriend is coming back to Thursday Evening Visitation with the men of the church, Tracy.”

“Flanders, you’re coming back to soul-winning!” she exclaimed.

“The gray griffins fled south never to come back.  That knight is dead and in Hell now.  And the battles of good vs. evil as I have fought them are over with now, Tracy,” he said.

“Pastor said in his announcements last Sunday that he had ordered another two thousand tracts from Fellowship Tract League for the church to give out in its tract ministry,” said Tracy Majesty.

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“I’ll go and give out the first one hundred of those tracts,” declared Flanders.

“Those are the ones with the title ‘How To Be Saved And Know It’ on the cover,” she said.

“Back in my old days our church salvation tracts we used were by the organization Partners In Ministry and they had on their cover the words, ‘A Good Friend To Have!  Think About It!’” said Flanders.

“You’ve been gone a while from Thursday Evening Visitation, Flanders,” said the cheerleader woman.

“Well I’m coming back this Thursday,” he said.

“Now that you are coming back to the battle over souls, Flanders, what are you going to do with your mace?” she asked.

“I asked God what He would have me do with my old mace in prayer yesterday,” he said.

“What did He say to you, Flanders?” she asked.

“He told me to throw it into the river,” he said.

“You have to throw your mace now into this river?” she asked.

“I get to throw my mace into this river, Tracy,” he said.

“Are you going to do it?” she asked.

“Yes, I am,” he said.

“When, do you think?” she asked.

“I think right now, Tracy,” he said, standing up now with this mace still in his hand.

“If God told you to do this, Flanders, it is the right thing for you to do,” said the cheerleader.

Flanders removed his holster from his left hip and held it out above the Fox River in his left hand.  And he held out his mace from God above the Fox River in his right hand.  And he prayed a solemn Bible verse now up to Heaven, saying, “Lord, it is written, ‘Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended:  but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching

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forth unto those things which are before.  I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.’  Philippians 3:13-14.”

And he did it.

Opening both hands at the same time, he let fall his mace and his mace’s holster both down into the deep and broad waters of the Fox River at once.  The holster was carried away downriver upon the surface of the waters never to be found again.  The mace sank down right to the bottom of the waters never to be found again.  And he was silent in much thoughts.

Understanding all of what just happened, the cheerleader girlfriend said, “It is written, ‘Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:’  Philippians 1;6.”

“Amen,” said Flanders Nickels.

“Selah,” said Tracy.

Then Flanders said, “My winged horse will be coming soon here to join us, Tracy.  She will be wearing saddlebags.  And Decade will be coming here with her.”

“What will she have in the saddlebags, Flanders?” asked the born-again cheerleader.

“Something that God has not yet given you,” he said.

“God has given me everything,” she said in praise of the Lord.

“God has allowed me to be able to give you something from me from God that you have not yet been given,” he said.

“What is it?” she asked.

“You will find out when you get it,” he said.

“Oh, I hope they both come soon—Year and Decade,” said Tracy Majesty.

“Here they come now, girlfriend,” said Flanders.  Boyfriend and girlfriend looked up into the sky.

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And winged horse and winged unicorn descended in a long gradual spiral and did light upon this pier before master and mistress.

Decade took one look at Tracy, and he said, “Mistress, you look different today!”

“What do you think of me now, O Decade?” asked the cheerleader with a curtsy in her new cheerleader uniform.

“I like the new outfit, O Mistress!” praised her pet unicorn.

And Year took one look at Flanders, and she said, “I dare say, Master, you look different today to me, also!”

“Something is missing from my person for my first time, Year,” said Flanders.

“You are without mace and without holster and without weapons to fight gray griffins this day, Master!” exclaimed Year.

“It will be that way for us for now on, girl,” said Flanders Nickels.

“I am happy to hear that,” said Year.

“So, Flanders, what’s in the saddlebags for your cheerleader girlfriend?” asked Tracy with great and due expectations.

“I’ll go and get it right now,” said Flanders.

And he went up to his winged she-horse and opened the saddlebag that had her present in it from him from God.  And he took it out.  And he showed her a wrapped present with ribbons and a bow.  “My gift to you, O dear cheerleader of mine,” he said.

He proffered it to her in both hands.  She took it in both of her hands.  It looked to measure about nine inches long by three-and-one-half inches wide by one inch high.  She could feel a wooden box inside the wrapping paper.  And at once she tore open the gift and found a little box of wood of oak with brass hinges and a brass lock and a brass key taped to its top with scotch tape.  She quickly removed the key, put the key to the lock, and turned the key in the lock.  And she opened the little

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wood box.

And therein she found a professional work of embroidery that did read, “Tracy M.” in beautiful white letters of script.  Instantly did this cheerleader recognize this as a chenille emblem.  A chenille emblem was an acronym or word or name or symbol that was sewn onto a girl’s cheerleader top.  And this white embroidered name would look just perfect on her new maroon cheerleader vest.

“Do you love it, Tracy?” asked Flanders knowing all so well now as he had when he had ordered this from the cheerleader catalog that she would fall in love with it at first sight.

In passions, she said, “Present of presents.  Blessing of blessings.  Chenille emblem of chenille emblems.  I love you, Flanders!”

In remembrances of what she had told him before, he said, “You talked with ‘Mary C.’   You talked with ‘Annette W.’  Now you are ‘Tracy M.’”

“The first thing I will do when I get home is to sew this on my new cheerleader uniform, O so good Flanders,” said his cheerleader girlfriend.

“Do I get to be the first one to see you in your embellished new De Pere Redbird head varsity football cheerleader’s uniform, Tracy?” he asked.

“Do I kiss well, Flanders?” she asked.

“We never did that before,” he said.

And she hauled and kissed her boyfriend for their first time.

“Wow, Tracy!  You kiss well!” he said.

“In like manner, boyfriend, you get to be the first one to see me in my new cheerleader uniform with my name ‘Tracy M.’ on it,” she promised him.

“That would be even better than our first kiss,” he said.

“Don’t we know it, Flanders?” she said.

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