The Collie Dog Keeper: “Heidi Cubit Span, a swim dress girl in black, is the Collie dog keeper of seven pet Collies. Her beloved Collie family is comprised of a dad Collie and a mom Collie and five children collies each nine months old. She and her Collies live in the countryside of Pembine, Wisconsin, on Young’s Lake. A Christian fellow named Flanders Nickels has a crush on her, and he wants to lead her to Christ. He has to convince Heidi that it is Jesus—and not seven Collie pets—that can make a young woman like her happy and saved. As he tells her, ‘You cannot get a girl saved until you get her to know that she is lost.’”
THE COLLIE DOG KEEPER
Mr. Morgan P. McCarthy
Her name was Miss Heidi Cubit Span, and once again she had on her favorite swimsuit of the summer. It was a ladies’ swimdress, of solid black, and just perfect for a slender eighteen-year-old girl like Heidi. She had bought it at J. C. Penney’s, and it was made by Maxine of Hollywood, and it was a size ten. She wore this black swimdress every day, and it was just as comfortable now as it was three years ago when she had first tried it on in the dressing room. Women’s swimwear fabric was a most durable material.
Yes, Miss Span loved swimdresses. But she loved Collie dogs most of all. And it was her family of seven Collie dogs here in the countryside of northern Wisconsin that made her happy in her life. Heidi Span was the Collie dog keeper. She lived with her Collie pets in Pembine on Young’s Lake. She had many buildings all of yellow here in her rural property—her house and her big barn and her little barn and her slaughter house and her horse barn and her chicken coop and her wood pile building and her outhouse. Before her time here, this was once a farmer’s farm; now it was her home with her Collie family. She did not have any farm animals. And she did not need the quaint little outhouse. And she did not need firewood. But all of these buildings were great playrooms for her with
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her seven pet Collies.
Once again the swimdress mistress was on a walk with her family down the orchard road. All of these apple trees in this orchard were yet young and small. And much sunlight filled this orchard
unabated. The Collie keeper led the way in this daily procession through the orchard. Behind her were the dad Collie and the mom Collie side-by-side. And behind the dad Collie and the mom Collie were their five nearly-full- grown Collie puppies, all nine months old, these five playful large puppies always shifting places and wrestling and causing good mischief in the back of the procession. The patriarch of the family was named “Lad.” The matriarch of the family was named “Lass.” And the five nearly-mature puppies were named in order of their birth, “Primary,” “Secondary,” “Tertiary,” “Quaternary,” and “Quintenary.” Notwithstanding, despite their names, the Collie keeper loved each of her puppies equally. But Lad and Lass were the Collie mistress’s favorites of her seven.
Coming back out of the orchard, the little procession came out onto the front yard; here was a little “park,” or playground, as one could call it, that Heidi Span had built here just for her Collies and herself. Here out front was a real merry-go-round and a real slide and a real teeter-totter. “Boys and girls,” called forth Heidi, “are you ready for some tricks?”
All seven gave reply with seven barks simultaneously, one bark from each Collie. Her Collies loved to do their tricks for their keeper with their playground equipment, and their keeper loved to watch them do their tricks for her. They had the wiles of a riddle master and the cleverness of a games-man and the wisdom of a creative child. And Collie keeper and Collies had many of their best times together here in this little playground.
Miss Heidi Span began today’s games here out front by calling forth, “Lad, do your merry-go-round trick for your mistress.”
And in obedience and in show and in showing off, Lad began his trick. He ran up to the merry-go-round and jumped and landed squarely upon one of its benches on all four of his paws. And he
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cocked his head at the side at her and awaited her to come and do her part with his merry-go-round trick. She quickly came up to the merry-go-round, and she grabbed a hold of it and began to run around in a circle with it as fast as she could run. Then she let go and stood back and watched Lad do his tricks on this. The merry-go-round was now spinning and making Heidi to become dizzy just watching it. Lad was going around and around as he stood there sure and steady. And he did not fall off or slip off or jump off of this spinning bench. “Lad, now do your next trick with the merry-go-round,” cheered the Collie dog keeper. And Lad went on to do his even better trick. And he proceeded to walk to the end of this bench and onto the beginning of the next bench. And then he crossed this next bench and onto the bench beyond that. In this manner, Lad most agilely did walk all the way around this rotating merry-go-round once, twice, thrice. And when it finally slowed down to a stop, there stood Lad, the winner once again. He had not fallen off of the merry-go-round this time around either. Standing there triumphant, he gave a canine grin at his mistress. And she said, “Oh, Lad. You’re too much,” And Heidi Span put her arms around his neck and hugged him where he stood on this bench. Then he jumped off.
Next, Heidi came up to the slide. And she asked, “Lass, would you do your trick with the slide for your mistress this day?” And Lass nodded her Collie dog head in assent. “Remember. Lass, it is easier to go down than it is to go up. At least as far as big dogs go when they do the slide, girl,” said the Collie keeper. In obedience and in great anticipation of praise and cheers, Lass went on to do her trick with the slide. The she-Collie stepped her two fore paws onto the first step of the metal steps that went to the top of the slide, and she looked back at her mistress and gave a bark of proclamation. Then she looked up at the top of this ladder part of the slide, and she went on to walk up all of the steps of the slide. And when she got to the top, she stood upon the elevated platform and looked down upon her mistress and gave a second bark of declaration. Then she ran down the chute portion of the slide all the way to the bottom without any errors in her performance. And when she got to the bottom of the
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chute of the slide she did leap and did stick her landing upon the ground on her four paws as a woman gymnast sticks her landing on her two feet. And she turned around to face her captive audience of mistress and gave a bark of victory. “Bravo, Lass!” cheered Heidi. And the mom Collie did all this for a second time. “Encore, girl!” cheered the Collie dog mistress. And the she-Collie did all this for a third time. And then Lass was done with her tricks for now. And Heidi ran up to her and kissed her sweetly upon her tri-color Collie head. And Lass groaned in contentment.
Next, Miss Heidi Span came up to the teeter-totter. Her five puppies were there with her awaiting her command for them to show off for her now. And the Collie dog keeper gave her
command, “Boys and girls, do your trick with the teeter-totter.” And they began at once. First one of the puppies stepped out onto the teeter-totter alone. And he walked to its center, making the teeter-totter evenly balanced three feet in the air. Next two other puppies, one at each end of the teeter-totter, did simultaneously leap straight up and land squarely upon their respective seats of this teeter-totter. And the even balance did not vary, the first puppy still steady on his feet in the center. The two end Collie puppies then simultaneously stepped one step forward, and the balance stayed level. After this, the last two Collie puppies, again one at each end, went ahead and also simultaneously leaped and landed upon their respective ends of this teeter-totter, the former leaping Collies having made room behind themselves for the latter leaping Collies. And still the teeter-totter was level and steady. “Now teeter-totter, boys and girls,” said Heidi Span. And the middle Collie puppy began to walk back and forth upon this seesaw, while the four other Collies stood without moving. In this most canine manner, the five Collie puppies thus teeter-tottered for their doting mistress. And she laughed in glee, and they felt good making their keeper laugh. And after a few minutes of this trick, Heidi said, “I love you all,”
And the five leaped off of the teeter-totter at the same time on the side where their keeper was watching them, And they all leaned their nearly grown-up Collie selves against her bare legs, and she petted all of them at once. And everybody was happy.
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One morning not too many days later, the Collie keeper took a walk with Lad and Lass to her mailbox a half-mile away. Her walk was on Young’s Lake Road. And her mailbox was on the intersection of this road and Highway 8. Heidi Cubit Span was again dressed in her prize of a black swimdress. Her black skirt portion was blowing about her hips and showing her black swimsuit portion within. “It’s windy today, Lad and Lass,” said Heidi Span.
“Woof!” said Lad.
“Ruff!” said Lass.
Once they arrived at the mailbox, Heidi could see that something large was in it, for the mailbox door was ajar. Opening her mailbox, Miss Span saw a cardboard box inside that looked to contain maybe a book. Very curious, Heidi opened it up right here outside before even checking its return address to find out from whom it might be. And when she opened the little box, behold a real Bible.
It read on the cover, “Holy Bible, Authorized King James Version.” And it read on the spine, “Holy Bible, KJV.” “Flanders, no doubt,” said the swimdress woman disappointed. She then looked at the return address, and sure enough it read “Flanders Nickels.” To make sure unhappily that this was for her, she looked at the sending address, and sure enough there was her name.
She went on to tell her two beloved Collies all about this Flanders. “He was the preacher boy at our high school in all four of our years together there. He liked everybody, and nobody liked him. He was always telling everybody all about Jesus. Nobody wanted to hear what he had to say, and all that he talked about was Christ. He never missed any opportunity at Pembine High School to pick on me the most of all of us students. One would think that he had a crush on me. I don’t think so, though. He was too much into God to ever look at any of us girls. But, unfortunately I was his favorite. Now we have been away from high school for a year now, and now this happens—the preacher boy is now mailing me a Bible of all things.” Then Heidi saw a bookmark in the Good Book a little past the middle of the pages. She opened the Bible to this bookmark and did see a handwritten message on the
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plain white bookmark reading in pencil, “Heidi, would you read for yourself Ecclesiastes 1:1-11 right here and pray about it? I care for your soul. Yours in Christ, Flanders Arckery Nickels.” Heidi looked into the Bible where this bookmark lay, and there was Ecclesiastes 1:1-11 all underlined in pencil for her. Strangely acquiescent, the swimdress girl in black proceeded to read this out loud for herself right beside her mailbox with Lad and Lass looking and listening on: “The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem. Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity. What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun? One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever. The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to his place where he arose. The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to his circuits. All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again. All things are full of labour; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing. The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun. Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? It hath been already of old time, which was before us. There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that art to come with those that shall come after.”
Having read this out loud, Heidi felt the full power of the Word of God speaking to her soul.
She knew what God was saying. She knew what Flanders was saying. She now said it for herself:
“Vanity of vanities. All is vanity.” She looked at Lad. Lad looked at her. She then looked at Lass.
Lass looked at her. The dad Collie and the mom Collie saw the sudden sorrow in their mistress’s previously happy face. She asked the two right now about her new thoughts that she was suddenly thinking now for her first time in her eighteen years and for her first time since finding her precious Collie family, “Am I truly happy with you seven Collie pets?” The Word of God had just spoken to her
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heart like a two-edged sword. “I am happy with you seven!” she yelled at Lad and Lass. Lad and Lass began to cry. “I thought I was,” said the Collie keeper in apology to Lad and Lass. Then she said quietly to herself, “I used to be before I read from this Bible.” She had read this Bible passage, just as Flanders had asked her to do. But she would never pray about this Bible passage as Flanders had asked her to do. All of a sudden it felt to the Collie dog keeper that Collies were not the answer to her life.
Something big and good was missing in her life. And she felt lost without ever having found what it was that she never knew that she needed. And in grief of life, the Collie dog keeper walked back to her house with Lad and Lass, this time with no happy words, no roughhousing, and no looking upon them in fondness.
That night in bed Heidi Span had a bad dream. In this dream she found herself in a sad world full of gray. It was a gray land of cemetery. It was a place of gray feelings. She understood this place to be called “Deathlands.” And in Deathlands the sky and the land and the sea were gray; life was gray; death was gray. And she was all alone. She was standing before two tombstones, side by side. The first tombstone read, “Lad, Collie patriarch.” The second tombstone read, “Lass, Collie matriarch.” In this dream Heidi recollected neither Lad nor Lass. She pondered with sorrow their passing away. She wondered if they were missed by a master or by a mistress. She contemplated if these two Collies had brought happiness into their keepers’ lives. Did they die young or of full age? Were they majestic to behold, as all other Collies? How many Collie puppies were in their special family? Then, beyond these two tombstones, the girl saw five more tombstones, one after another in a single file line right and left. The first tombstone read, “Primary, the firstborn.” The second tombstone read, “Secondary, three minutes younger.” The third tombstone read, “Tertiary, the middle one of the litter.” The fourth tombstone read, “Quaternary, another three minutes younger.” And the fifth tombstone read, “Quintenary, the baby of the family.” Such names for such Collie puppies. Could a Collie puppy learn his or her name being so long a name as these were? She did not recognize any of these names in this
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dream of gray of this Deathlands inside and outside of herself. What she did know was that this Collie family in life and in death numbered seven. And she knew that this Lad and this Lass had brought forth five Collie puppies into the world. Did these puppies get to enjoy their lives unto their own adulthood?
Did they die as puppies? Did they die as old Collies? This young woman then wondered if their keeper were still alive out there beyond these Deathlands all around her here. She stepped back to search for a tombstone that might answer her question. And she felt something hard behind her leg. It was a gravestone higher than any of the others gravestones in this cemetery, and she was standing behind it. It was facing the same direction as the seven Collie tombstones were. And she walked around it to read what it had to say. And she read “Miss Heidi Cubit Span, Collie dog keeper. Rest in peace.” This young lady did not know this Heidi. But she did know now that this Heidi was the mistress who took care of this Collie dog family. And all eight were now dead and buried for who knows how long now?
Just then a voice came up from beneath the ground, saying to her, “Young woman, this is the land without Christ. This is life without Christ. This is death without Christ. Vanity of vanities. All is vanity.”
Then she woke up. Ir was still dark of night here in bed in her waking life. And she felt slough of despond from this dream. But it was only a dream. And now it was over. And she encouraged herself with this understanding. And she went back to sleep.
And she dreamed a happy dream. She found herself in a bright and joyous land of yellow. The sun was yellow, and the sky was blue, and the ground was green. And celestial rays of yellow filled the air all about where she stood. And all around walked the resurrected saints of the Bible in Paradise. One man came up to her and said, “Welcome. I am Moses, the symbol of the Old Testament law.” Another man came up to her and said, “Welcome. I am Elijah, the symbol of the Old Testament prophets.” Another came up to her and said, “Welcome. I am Abraham, the founder of the Jewish
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nation.” Then another came up to her and said, “Welcome, I am Noah, the preacher of righteousness.”
And another came up to her and said, “Welcome, I am John the Baptist, the messenger of the Messiah.”
And another spoke to her and said, “Welcome, I am Melchizedek, a type of Christ.” Then a woman came up to her and said, “Welcome, I am Ruth, of the lineage of Jesus.” And another woman came up to her and said, “Welcome. I am Esther, the deliverer of the Jews.” And a third woman came up to her and said, “Welcome. I am Deborah a judge over Israel.” Than a man came up to her and said, “Welcome. I am Adam, the patriarch of the human race.” Than a woman came up to her and said, “Welcome. I am Eve, the matriarch of the human race.”
Then she heard a voice as the sound of many waters. And it came down from above, yet also from down here. This voice had said to her, “Milady, approach my throne.” She looked and beheld a great deified Personage sitting upon a great Heavenly throne just up ahead not far away. Underneath where He sat was as it were a paved work of a sapphire stone, and as it were the body of Heaven in His clearness. The One sitting upon His throne was to look upon like a jasper and a sardine stone. And there was a rainbow round about His throne, in sight like unto an emerald. In awe and reverence and worship she approached this throne and fell down upon her knees before Him. And this Deity spoke to her, “I am Jesus Christ the Lord in My regal glory. Welcome to God’s Country, My lady. This is the land with Christ. This is life with Christ. This is death with Christ. All of this which is God’s Country awaits you if you make the right decision about Me in your waking and living life. Seek Me and live.
Accept Me and find salvation. Live for Me and rejoice evermore.”
Then she woke up. And she was in bed in the bright yellow light of early morning sun shining through her window upon her head. She felt gladness and joy from this dream. But it was just a dream. Nevertheless, happy anyway, the Collie dog keeper got up for the day to go and say “Hello,” to her Collie dog family for the morning. And when the seven knocked her down in their love and their affection for their mistress and began giving her their Collie tongue kisses, the Collie keeper woman
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said for her first time, “Thank You, Lord, for my family.”
Then the swimdress girl said, “Let’s go right now and see if I got any mail, children. Maybe there might be a Le Cove women’s swimwear catalog in my mailbox today.” Happy in life with seven Collies once again, Heidi took a merry walk to her mailbox this time with all seven Collies. She opened her mailbox and beheld a large yellow envelope. “Ah, a yellow envelope—yellow, just like God’s Country that I dreamed about this morning.” And she remembered what she had found last time she was here– that package from Flanders that had given her great sorrow of the world. Hopefully this yellow envelope was not from him. The Collie keeper had never endured sadness since having moved here and gotten her Collies until that Flanders had meddled with her life by giving her a Bible and having her to read from it. She pulled out the letter and did read from its envelope, “Flanders Nickels.” And she brazenly let out a not-nice word. And her Collie family showed fear in their eyes toward their strangely disgruntled mistress. “I’m really, really sorry,” said Heidi to her Collie pets. “I seem to have a friend who is pulling you and me apart.”
Nonetheless, the swimdress girl went ahead to open the envelope and to read what this interloper had to say to her about God: “Dear Heidi: This is Flanders. And I care for your soul. And I’ve been much in prayer for your soul. As you know, I read my Bible everyday. And in this past year of Bible study I have come upon three Scripture verses which I call ‘Heidi’s verses.’ These three verses make me think about you. And I need to share them with you right now by way of letter. Please hear me out and give God a chance. He loves you, Heidi, and I like you a lot. The first of ‘your’ verses is Matthew 9:36. And that goes like this: ‘But when he saw the multitudes, he was moved with compassion on them, because they fainted, and were scattered abroad, as sheep having no shepherd.’
Heidi, to me you were the pretty girl of Pembine High School. And mainly because of this, I feel much some of the compassion that my Jesus feels for you. In my prayer life for you, you are ‘my sheep having not the Shepherd.’ My Jesus is the Good Shepherd Who has given His life for His sheep. And
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your greatest need, I dare say in boldness, is not another happy day with your Collies, but, rather, seeking and finding in your heart Jesus Christ the Good Shepherd. I apologize if my words of this letter turn you against me. I may be stepping on your toes, but I am aiming for your heart. I want Pembine High School’s prettiest girl to go to Heaven and not to Hell. There is no easy way for a believer to warn an unbeliever about Hell. But I do so now with all true and affectionate Christian love. As Pastor always says, ‘You cannot get a person saved until you get them to realize that they are lost.’ I dare say, Heaven for me would be better if I had you There with me, Heidi.’ And in my feelings for you, I do write now, ‘Hell is no place for a pretty swimdress woman like yourself.’ My second of my ‘Heidi’s verses’ is Jude 23, and that goes like this: ‘And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh.’ I tell you this, O Heidi: This place called Hell scares me for you. Just before I myself got saved I became most afraid of Hell. Fear of Hell is a great reason to become born again. It was this that convinced me to become a Christian in the first place. And I pray that it be this that convinces you to become a Christian as well, Heidi. Worst of all, Hell is a place of fire. In time to come Hell will become the eternal lake of fire. Down there, Heidi, you will be in the flames. And down there your black swimdress will be in the flames. Hence the phrase in ‘your verse.’ ‘hating even the garment spotted by the flesh.’ Your swimdress means everything to you. And you mean everything to me. And I dare say, that none of your Collies went and died for your sins. But the Good Lord Jesus went and died for your sins. And for my sins. And for the sins of the whole world. And third of my Scripture about you is the passage Isaiah 55:10-11, pretty Heidi. And this is how this goes: ‘For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.’ This passage of
verses says that something happens when the Word of God goes out. People hear the Word, and the
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Word smites them like a two-edged sword. And if that person humbly sees the truth about the Saviour and repents, he gets saved. Or if that person gets convicted unto indignation about the truth of the Saviour, but after a while comes around, he still gets saved. But if that person gets offended unto even greater resistance against Jesus and does rebel against the truth about the Saviour and does continue living in his sins unto death, he is lost forever. Yes, nevertheless, God’s Word will not return void unto God. The saved person in Heaven will confess Jesus willingly before Him on His Bema Seat and receive rewards. The lost person in Hell will have to confess Jesus unwillingly before Him on His Great White Throne and receive degrees of everlasting torments. Dear Heidi, would you give me a call at 555-5555? Maybe we can set up a date together, and I can tell you more about God. There is only one thing in my crush for you about you more important to me than your liking me. And that is that your soul get saved. Your prayer-warrior-in-Christ, Flanders Arckery Nickels. P.. S. Do you still have that King James Bible that I sent you?”
The letter reading done, the Collie keeper answered his postscript question, “Yes. I do.” Yet Heidi Span was not angry anymore at Flanders. Such a letter to write to a girl from a wannabe boyfriend. On the surface it looked like a hate letter. But it was within a love letter. Flanders Nickels had written a Collie mistress a love letter for her soul. And the young woman found herself quite strangely flattered. The things that Flanders knew about the Lord, and the things that he shared now about this God Whom she knew not as he knew Him, and those Bible verses that made him to like her all the more so—all this and more all about this letter– made her to kind of like him back. Flanders was becoming a cute guy to this woman who had always rejected his Jesus. Maybe it was not so bad to wish to become his girlfriend. But what was the swimdress woman going to do about Jesus? Heidi did not make any definite decision now about the Saviour. Maybe she would wait and hear more from this man of God, and then make her decision. Not every woman filled a Bible reader man’s heart with infatuation for her when he sat down to read the Good Book.
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The next day, Heidi Cubit Span did call up Flanders on the telephone. Even before she could say anything, he asked, “Heidi, is that you?”
“How’d you know that it was I?” she asked.
“Because I was here in front of the telephone and praying for you,” he said to her. “I just finished my prayer by asking God to give me a call from fair Heidi. And, hark, fair Heidi called.”
“Fair Heidi?” asked the Collie dog keeper.
“Do you like it?” he asked.
“I surely do,” she said. “May I call you, ‘fine Flanders?’”
“You may call me ‘fine Flanders,’” he did give ready assent.
“I got your package, and I got your letter, and I got your phone number,” she said. “A date between you and me sounds pretty good to me now.”
“Do I get to see your Collies, fair Heidi?” he asked.
“I would be most thrilled for you to see all of my Collies, fine Flanders,” she said. Only a guy after her own heart could say something so sweet to her as Flanders had said just now.
“I read the book of John yesterday, and I found three real neat verses all about Jesus and all spoken by Jesus,” he said in love for God’s Word.
“Do tell me all about them,” said the black swimdress girl.
And he began most spontaneous preaching unto her eager and attentive ears. “First I found out all about John 4:14,” he did tell her. “Therein is it written, ‘But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.’”
“I never drank water like that water before, fine Flanders,” said Heidi Span.
“Only the Lord Jesus gives water like that water, fair Heidi,” he said to her.
“How can I get it?” asked the Collie keeper.
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“You simply ask God to give it to you,” said Flanders.
“I don’t remember having asked God for anything before,” said Miss Span.
“That is how a pretty girl gets so great salvation,” said Flanders. “That is how I got my own so great salvation.”
“All that a girl needs to do to get this salvation is to only ask God for this salvation?” asked Heidi Span.
“That’s why salvation is also called ‘the free gift of eternal life,’” Flanders said to her.
“Then getting saved is all free?” she asked.
“Yep!” he said. “Jesus made Heaven a free gift to all who call upon Him for it,” said Flanders.
“Is salvation in Christ better than life with seven Collies?” she asked.
“I dare say that it is, not only in this life, but especially in the life to come,” he said.
“My Collies do nasty mischief to my well, Flanders,” she said. “I do not know which one it was who started all of it, but now they all do it,”
“Do I hear about trouble in paradise there at Young’s Lake, fair Heidi?” he asked.
“Uh huh,” she said.
“What do they all do that is real bad with your well?” he asked.
“They all drop things down into my well,” she said. “Big and little rocks, big and little tree branches and big and little dead animals.”
“Ouch, fair Heidi,” he said. “Jesus would never do that to you.”
“A Collie dog keeper cannot even get a clean drink of water with them around,” she complained about all of her Collies. Then, seeking encouragement, Heidi Span asked, “And what is the second verse that you discovered in the Gospel of John, fine Flanders?”
“John 6:35, fair Heidi,” he said, “wherein God says this: ‘And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.’”
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“I think that I know what Jesus is saying in that verse, Flanders,” said Heidi. “If I come to Jesus, then I will never hunger spiritually. And if I believe on Jesus, then I will never thirst spiritually.”
“That is exactly right, fair Heidi,” said Flanders. “And for that to be true you have to first become born again..
“So Jesus is bread of life,” she pondered out loud. “And bread of life shall keep my spirit from ever getting hungry.”
“You’re right, Heidi,” said Flanders.
“I’m hungry a lot with my stomach, fine Flanders,” she said.
“How come?” he asked.
“Raising a large Collie family like mine is hard on the pocketbook for a girl just starting out on life on her own like I am,” said the Collie keeper. “I do not always get three meals a day. My Collies are all well fed and well taken care of with my fixed income. And I really did not need to buy those three playground equipment that I had bought and had set up for them. I guess my Collies are more important to their keeper than the keeper herself is to the keeper.”
“Are you hungry right now?’ asked Flanders Nickels.
“Yes,” she said.
“Shall I come over right now and bring a meal for us two, fair Heidi?” he asked.
“I’ve got a couple of pieces of bread left. I will have butter toast. I like butter toast a lot,” said Heidi. “And I like peanut butter toast and cinnamon toast.”
“I love toast, too, fair Heidi,” he said. “Can I bring a loaf of bread tomorrow for a toast picnic for the two of us?”
“I’d like that, fine Flanders,” she said. “Maybe Jesus can keep a Collie dog mistress from getting hungry more than a Collie dog family can.”
“The Lord will provide,” said Flanders.
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“What’s that third verse from the book of John that you were going to tell me about?” asked Miss Span.
“Ah. Yes. The best of the three, fair Heidi,” he said. “’Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.’ John 14:27.”
“That’s a beautiful Bible verse, fine Flanders,” she said.
“This Jesus who promised this is also called ‘the Prince of Peace,’” said Flanders.
“My own peace has eluded me in my eighteen years,” said Miss Span.
“God does not promise peace to the unsaved,” said Flanders.
“This peace then is only for the saved?” asked Heidi Span.
“Yes, fair Heidi,” said Flanders.
“What kind of peace do you have as a believer, fine Flanders?” asked the swimdress woman.
“The kind of peace which makes my hymn called ‘It Is Well With My Soul,’ my favorite hymn,” said Flanders.
“You have peace with your soul?” asked the Collie mistress. “What is peace with your soul, fine Flanders?”
“I know that I will never have to spend one moment in Hell, and I know that I will spend eternity in Heaven. That, fair Heidi, is the peace of all knowing Christians everywhere.”
“Alas, I do not have peace with my soul. I do not even have peace in this life,” said Heidi.
“I bet that this peace that you do not have in this life is some more Collie problems. Aren’t they, Heidi?” asked Flanders.
“Yeah,” said Heidi. “Lad started it. Lad taught Lass to also do it. And Lass taught all of the puppies how to do it. They all do it. And it scares me to death each time. Oh, Flanders, I cannot take much more of it.”
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“Fair Heidi, please tell me what they do that frightens you so for them,” pleaded Flanders.
“They all chase cars on the highway,” she said. “And I do not know what I can do to make them stop. I might lose them, and I am afraid that one of them might die.”
“At least they never got hit,” said Flanders, seeking to encourage her.
“They all got hit at least once,” she said, her voice breaking down into crying.
“I’m so sorry, Heidi,” he said.
“At least they are all still alive, fine Flanders,” she said, overcoming her tears.
“Are they all okay now?” he asked.
“Uh huh,” she said. “They are all all right for now,” She sniffled.
“The Good Lord loves your Collies, Heidi,” said Flanders. “And He loves you, too.”
“God is good,” said the Collie dog keeper for her first time.
“Shall we meet at your lake tomorrow for a picnic, fair Heidi?” asked Flanders.
“You bring the bread. I’ll ‘bring’ the toaster,” she said.
“It’s a date,” said Flanders.
“Our first date,” said Miss Span.
“And definitely bring the Collies, fair Heidi Span,” said Flanders.
“I will be so glad to bring the Collies, fine Flanders” said the swimdress woman.
“God is good, Heidi,” said Flanders.
“God is great,” said Heidi for her first time. And they hung up.
The next day, Heidi and Flanders had their special first date at her Young’s Lake. She was dressed in her ladies’ black swimdress; and he was dressed in his blue jean shorts. And he and she had just gotten done with a veritable feast of all their favorite kinds of toast. Her Collies, well trained about how to behave at the dinner table with their mistress in the house, were equally behaved at this picnic with their mistress and her new boyfriend here in the grass outside in front of the lake. Not one Collie
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begged for one bite of delicious toast from woman or man. They truly played Collie games with each other in the lake and left the man and woman alone to eat together on the shore in companionship.
And when the couple finished their picnic, the Collie keeper said, “Children, you can come out of the lake now and join us. Come now and say, ‘Hi,’ to Flanders. He’s a born again Christian.”
And the seven dripping Collie dogs came up out of the lake and came up to this strange and friendly man in their mistress’s life. And the Collie keeper introduced the Collies to Flanders, and she introduced Flanders to the Collies.
And kind and honest Flanders said to all seven of them, “Lad, Lass, Primary, Secondary, Tertiary, Quaternary, Quintenary, you seven are truly resplendent Collie dogs wrought by our most Wise Maker. I can see what your keeper sees in you. And I am honored to meet you here at your lake.
And I want to get to know you better as I wish to get to know your mistress better. I wish to be your best friend. And I wish for you to by my best friends. I love you all.” He then spread his arms out toward them. And they all ran up to be hugged in his arms. And Flanders was affectionately received into this Collie dog family as the new man of the group. And Heidi felt most novel feelings toward this born-again believer. It may not have been love in itself. But it was definitely a crush on him that excelled the love she had for her Collies. A cute boyfriend was now “in her family.”
Caught up in this magical whirlwind romance, the swimdress girl said, “Flanders, you have made my place with Collies here Heaven.”
In glory to God, he said. “The real Heaven is even more Heavenly than is this ‘little heaven’ right here, pretty Heidi.”
“What wondrous words you tell me with all of your wisdom from the Bible,” she said.
“The real Heaven is where Jesus sits on His throne and rules over Heaven and Earth,” he said, bragging in all due homage to God.
“The real Heaven after I get saved,” she said in daydreaming. “You and I and Jesus and my
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Collies.”
“Not so,” said the Christian man. “The real Heaven after you get saved—you and I and the other saints and the angels and Jesus.”
“Oh,” she said. “Heaven is the believers and the angels and Jesus and my Collies then,” she said.
“Not so,” said the believer again. “Just God and the angels and all of us born-again people.”
In a snap, the Collie dog keeper said, “And my Collies, Flanders!”
“Not so,” said the learned Scripture man yet once again.
“My Collies are going to be with me in Heaven. Will they not, Flanders?” she said, suddenly irate at her wonderful new boyfriend.
“It is written in Revelation 22:15 about Heaven, O Heidi,” he said, “’For without are dogs,…’”
“For without Heaven are dogs?” she asked.
“By the word ‘without’ the King James Bible means ‘outside of,’” said the young man of God. “God says in His Word in this verse that dogs are outside of Heaven. Dogs are not inside of Heaven. You see, dogs do not get to go to Heaven when they die. When a dog dies, he returns to the dust of the earth.”
“Flanders, apparently you do not know me enough to know how my favorite saying goes,” said the Collie keeper through her shut teeth. And she told him her favorite saying, “If there are no dogs in Heaven, then I refuse to to There.”
“I never paused to think that you felt that way,” said Flanders.
“I would like to ask you to leave my lake,” said Heidi Span in great wrath at this young man of God for what he said to her.
“I thought that you were going to be ready to get saved today,” he said, at a loss for what to do right now. “I mainly came today to lead you to Christ. I believed that you wanted to get born again,
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O Heidi,” said Flanders, seeing a precious soul about to get away and seeing his first girlfriend in life about to break up with him on their very first date.
“Not anymore, Flanders. Not for a God like yours,” said Miss Heidi Span in great dissent. “I cannot love a God Who hates Collies. I cannot believe in a Saviour Who hates Collies. I do not want to hear anymore about this ‘Good’ Lord Who hates Collies.”
“Heidi! Heidi! Jesus loves all Collies,” uttered Flanders.
“Please leave me and take Jesus with you,” demanded Heidi Span.
“I shall go. And I will take the name of Jesus with me,” said Flanders.
“Do so. Go. And take the name of Jesus with you,” demanded the Collie dog keeper.
In sorrow, Flanders Nickels turned and began to walk away, and he sang a hymn:
“Take the name of Jesus with you,
Child of sorrow and of woe;
It will joy and comfort give you–
Take it, then, where’er you go.
Precious name, O how sweet!
Hope of earth and joy of heav’n;
Precious name, O how sweet!
Hope of earth and joy of heav’n.”
“Flanders,” called forth the pretty girl from behind.
“Yes, Heidi,” he said, stopping and his back still toward her.
“The name of Jesus,” she said. “What does it mean?”
His back still turned to her he said, “’Jesus,’ by definition, means, ‘Saviour.’”
“Does this Saviour have other names?” she asked.
“My Saviour has more names than there are books in the Bible,” he said, himself still looking the other way.
“Flanders, could you look at me?” she asked.
“One would think that you no longer want to look at my face,” he said.
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“I’m sorry,” she said. “Please turn around and look at me.”
He turned around and looked at her. She was too abashed to look him in the eye after her rebuke. “Heidi, would you look me in the eye?” he requested of her. She looked him in the eye.
“I’m sorry,” she said again.
“I forgive you, fair Heidi,” said Flanders.
“How many names does this Jesus have?” asked the swimdress girl.
“Probably more than there are breeds of dogs,” said Flanders.
“The American Kennel Club recognizes 192 different breeds of dogs, fine Flanders,” said the Collie dog keeper.
“Could I come back up to you, Heidi?” asked Flanders.
“Please come back and talk with me,” said Miss Span. And he came back to her. And she said in rumination, “If this Jesus has as many names as you say He has, maybe I best get to know Him personally, or else I might end up down in Hell.”
“The Psalter itself is full of names for God. These names are most glorious metaphors,” said Flanders. “I know all of them. I memorized all of them, Heidi.”
“Could you tell me some?” she asked.
“I can tell you all of them,” he said. And he went on to tell the swimdress lady all the names of Jesus in the book of Psalms: “God is my rock, my fortress, my deliverer, my strength in Whom I will trust, my buckler, the horn of my salvation, my high tower, my goodness, my shield, my glory, the lifter up of mine head, the Highest, my shepherd, the King of Glory, my light and my salvation, the strength of my life, our help and our shield, the health of my countenance, our refuge and strength, my defense, the Shepherd of Israel, a sun and shield, my strength and song, my salvation, my portion in the land of the living, their King.”
“I need to get to know Him if I want to get to Heaven,” she said.
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“Heaven is Heaven because Jesus is There,” Flanders told Heidi Span.
“Perhaps Heaven is Heaven not because my Collies be There,” conceded the Collie keeper.
“It is written, ‘He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me,’ Matthew 10:37,” recited Flanders Nickels.
“Jesus said those words. Didn’t he?” asked the swimdress girl in black.
“Yes, fair Heidi. Jesus said those words,” he said to her.
“Jesus can say likewise about myself now, fine Flanders, ‘She that loveth Collie dog more than Me is not worthy of Me,’” confessed Heidi Cubit Span.
“You are saying very good words, Heidi,” said Flanders.
“All of this time I have been worshiping the creature and not the Creator,” admitted the Collie dog keeper about life here at Young’s Lake with her family.
“Romans 1;25: ‘Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen,” recited Flanders.
“Isn’t that called ‘false idolatry?’” asked the enlightened Collie keeper. “I made my Collies given to me by God more important to me than God Himself!”
“You made the Lord jealous,” said Flanders.
“What do you think that I should do?” asked the Collie mistress. “I do not want to go to Hell. I want to go to Heaven. And I am so lost in all of my sins with all of my Collies, O Flanders.”
“I know what you can do. You can get saved from all of your sins right now. I can lead you through the prayer right now. And you can become a born-again believer and never worry about where you are going in the life to come for the rest of your life down here,” said Flanders very good news.
Nor fully learned about salvation yet, the Collie dog keeper promised, “If God wills me to, Flanders, I will give away my Collies to another family. And I can become His all alone. And my sins will be no more. Then He will let me into His Heaven in time to come.”
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“Whoa, girl! Not so fast. I can see no greater sacrifice for the Saviour of the world than the one you wish to make for Him right now in sacrificing your whole family of Collies,” said Flanders.
“I need to make Jesus the Lord of my life,” said the Collie mistress in sincere faith.
“Making Jesus the Lord of your life does not save a woman,” said Flanders. “Accepting Jesus’s free gift of everlasting life saves a woman.”
“Then I can keep all of my Collies?” she asked’
“You can keep all of your Collies as a believer just as you had as an unbeliever,” said Flanders.
“Oh. I am so very glad to hear this, fine Flanders.” said Heidi Span. “My Collies are okay with God now that they are no longer false gods in my life. I love them all. And they all love me.”
“Shall we pray together and get you saved, fair Heidi?” asked Flanders.
She nodded her head in assent. And Flanders led her through the sinners’ prayer, guiding her line-by-line: “Dear God: I am a dirty rotten sinner. You know all the bad things I did and all the good things that I did not. I am sorry now for all of them. Forgive me. Purify me. Help me to repent to the uttermost. I confess right now for my first time that You sent Your only begotten Son to bleed and to die for me on the cross of Calvary. And I also confess the miracle of Easter—how this same Son of God rose again from the dead on the third day. I now ask You in wisdom and in faith and in truth to save my lost soul. Only You can do such a thing, because You are God. I thank You, Lord Jesus. In God the Son’s name I do pray. Amen.”
Boyfriend and girlfriend now looked up from this prayer. “Congratulations, pretty Heidi, we are now boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ.”
“That means that I just found Christ, fine Flanders,” said the black swimdress woman.
“Yes, you have just been born again into the family of God,” he said.
“I’m a real Christian now,” she said, happy.
“Yes. You are now a real believer,” said Flanders Nickels.
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It was now one month later. Flanders Nickels and Heidi Span had dated every day since the day of her salvation. Sometimes he asked her to bring the Collies, and she liked that. Sometimes he asked her not to bring the Collies, and she liked that, too. Time alone with her new handsome boyfriend on dates without the Collies were most treasured by this new girlfriend in her new life. Today’s date was a date with the Collies included. And the “family of nine” were on a walk back down her orchard road amid the many small apple trees on their way back to the house. Flanders and Heidi were in the front, the woman to the man’s right. Lad and Lass were right behind them, the female Collie to the male Collie’s right. And the five now grown-up puppies were scattered randomly behind their parents, playing games and moving all about back there.
Coming back to the yellow house, the group came up to the well. Heidi looked into it. Flanders looked into it. “It is still empty of stuff,” said Heidi, happy. “Nothing in there anymore but fresh clean water, Flanders.”
“The Collies did not drop any rocks or sticks or carcasses in it yet, Heidi?” asked Flanders.
“Not for this whole past month, Flanders,” said Heidi. “My boys and girls have stopped their mischief with this well.”
“I’ve been praying that they stop doing that,” said Flanders.
“I can see that our God answers prayers,” said the swimdress girl in black.
“Your children will never drop another thing into the well that does not belong down in there,” said Flanders.
“Thank you so much for your prayers, good Flanders.” said Miss Heidi Span.
Just then a brown delivery truck was coming down Young’s Lake Road. “Look,” said Flanders. “Are you expecting a package, Heidi?”
“No,” she said. “Maybe I’m getting a package.”
The brown delivery truck pulled into her driveway, stopped, and a man in brown got out and
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came up to her with a little cardboard box. He gave it to her, and they exchanged “Thank you’s,”
and he left and drove away. At once Heidi opened this little box. Behold, a box full of gift certificates
for the grocery store down the road in Pembine.
“Why, Flanders, they are all for twenty-five dollars each!” she exclaimed in great joy in the Lord. “Where do you think all of these came from?”
“I dare say, Heidi, with all of those you will never be hungry again,” said Flanders Nickels.
“These are from you. Aren’t they?” she asked.
“They are from God,” he said.
“Did you buy these for me, Flanders?” she asked again.
“I prayed that God give you three meals a day every day for now on, and He answered my prayer,” said Flanders.
“Oh, Flanders, thank you again for all your prayers,” said the swimdress lady.
It was he who had bought all of these for her.
“Let us go to the mailbox and see if I got any letters today,” said Heidi Span.
“Let us walk there,” agreed Flanders.
And the “family” walked down Young’s Lake Road toward the highway in the same formation that they had walked up and down the orchard road. And they came to her mailbox on the side of the highway. She opened her mailbox, saw nothing, and said, “No mail today,” and shut her mailbox.
Just then a speeding car was going by in the right lane of Highway 8 right past all seven Collie dogs
on the side of the busy road. At once the Collie keeper looked upon the face of Lad, he who was the very first of her Collies to start chasing cars. And his Collie face looked upon the speeding car in
indifference, saw it speed right on by, and did not chase after it. Then he turned away from the car gone by and looked up at his mistress. “Lad, you’ve been good,” sang out the Collie dog keeper.
“Not one of your Collies chased that fast car, Heidi,” said Flanders.
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“Yeah, Flanders,” said his girlfriend. “And it was always the fast cars that they all chased.”
“That one just now must surely have been the fastest,” said Flanders. “He was way over the speed limit.”
“All of my Collie dogs just now have let that car get away without trying to chase after it,” said Heidi Span. “It has been a month now since any of them have chased a car here on our walks to the mailbox. It is like they just stopped doing that and that they will never do that again.”
“I know why,” he said.
“You’ve been praying for me that they stop chasing cars. Haven’t you, Flanders?” asked the swimdress girlfriend.
“Yeah, Heidi. I have. We have a good God Who answers the prayers of the believers,” said Flanders Nickels. “Your beloved Collies shall never chase another car again.”
With the spirit of flirt for this man who prayed for her, Heidi Span asked, “Do you like my black swimdress, boyfriend?”
“I do,” he said.
“Do you like your black swimdress girlfriend, boyfriend-in-Christ?” she asked in romance.
“I do,’ he said.
“”Do you like the Collie dog keeper’s seven pet Collie dogs, Mr. Flanders Arckery Nickels?” she asked a third coquettish query.
“I do,” said Flanders.
“I now know why you preached upon ‘vanity of vanity; all is vanity” that you had me to read in that Bible you got me, Flanders,” said Miss Heidi Span. “It was to teach me that life with Collies instead of with Jesus is a vain life. You did that for my own good. Didn’t you, boyfriend?”
“I did, Miss Heidi Cubit Span,” he said.
“’I did’ and not ‘I do?’” she asked. And both laughed together out loud in sweet romance.
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