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“Jenney Penney Halsey, a professional woman gymnast in a long-sleeved patriotic American flag patterned women’s gymnastics leotard, has a boyfriend named Flanders Arckery Nickels, a soldier-for-Christ with his Bronze Bow and Brass Arrows and Deerhide Quiver.  Both are most spiritual and faithful born-again Christians living for God.  Jenney’s friend Tracey, a woman boxer,  needs Christ in her life.  And Tracey’s boyfriend Proffery , an all-star wrestler, also needs Christ in his life.  Flanders, because he sought to win souls of any who would listen, offended a unicorn and a griffin and a dragon, who each come after him to do battle with him.”

THE BEGUILER GIRL

By Mr. Morgan P. McCarthy

 

The Table of Contents

Chapter I……………………………………………………………………………………………Page 1

Chapter II………………………………………………………………………………………….Page 14

Chapter III…………………………………………………………………………………………Page 26

Chapter IV…………………………………………………………………………………………Page 40

Chapter V…………………………………………………………………………………………Page 54

Chapter VI…………………………………………………………………………………………Page 68

Chapter VII………………………………………………………………………………………..Page 82

Chapter VIII………………………………………………………………………………………Page 96

Chapter IX……………………………………………………………………………………….Page 110

Chapter X………………………………………………………………………………………..Page 122

Chapter XI………………………………………………………………………………………Page 136

Chapter XII………………………………………………………………………………………Page 151

Chapter XIII……………………………………………………………………………………..Page 165

Chapter XIV……………………………………………………………………………………..Page 180

Chapter XV………………………………………………………………………………………Page 195

Chapter XVI……………………………………………………………………………………..Page 208

Chapter XVII…………………………………………………………………………………….Page 222

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER I

“Mush, boys!  Mush!” said the beguiler girl to her seven pet timber wolves.  She was riding a seven-he-wolf-team chariot in autumn throughout the countryside of northeastern Wisconsin.  And upon this command to mush, the wolves began to run even faster for their mistress.  The girl felt the speed of the wind blowing upon her face and her hair, and her belly felt like she were on a roller coaster going gown, and she called out in glee, “Weeeee!   Ha ha ha!  Praise Jesus for this ride!”

And she and her pet wolves continued this ride of joy all alone together.  In the lead of this team was her preferred wolf called “Timber,”  In the second row were General and Colonel.  In the third row was Major and Lieutenant.  And in the fourth row was Captain and Sergeant.  They loved to run in this countryside long and far, and she loved to ride thus in her chariot in this countryside long and far.

This beguiler girl was Miss Jenney Penney Halsey, and it was her boyfriend who first called her “the beguiler girl.”  This Jenney was first of all a born-again Christian woman of eighteen years of age, living most faithfully for her Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, and a winner of many souls.  This Jenney was second of all a professional woman gymnast dressed in her favorite gymnastics leotard again this day—her “gymnastics leotard of gymnastics leotards”–a most American and patriotic pattern all throughout.  Its most beguiling pattern was the following:  Long sleeves all of dark blue with white

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stars; front and back all of alternating vertical red and white stripes.  This same Jenney was third of all the girlfriend-in-the-Lord to Flanders Nickels, whom she beguiled always with her many women’s gymnastics tricks in this favorite leotard of hers.  It was also his favorite gymnastics leotards of her many gymnastics leotards.  And as much as she liked to perform her tricks for him, he loved to watch her do these tricks even all the more so.  Miss Halsey was most lithe and most supple and most feminine—even for a woman gymnast.  She was five feet eight inches tall, and she weighed one hundred twenty pounds.  Her eyes were a golden brown, and they shone with the light of the Holy Spirit of God indwelling her.  Her hair was an abundant fullness of golden curls, short and dark blonde.

And her voice was gentle and kind, as Christ is.  And finally, this Jenney was fourth of all a mistress of seven tame wolves who turned savage in defense of her were she in any danger.  These seven timber wolves were her family.  She took care of them and gave them love, and they kept her safe and returned her love in great fondness like dogs.

Waxing grateful toward the Lord once again on a ride like this in the countryside, Jenney Halsey fell upon spontaneous prayer once again in her spirit-filled life.  And she said to God impromptu, “Thank You for having made me a girl.  Thank You for my two x-chromosomes when You made me in the womb.  Thank You that I can live life now as an eighteen-year-old woman.”  Then she went on to thank her Lord for her tough feet.  Her tough feet were an asset for her in her competitions and meets.  And she despised shoes and hated socks.  Whenever and wherever she was, if she could, she were barefoot inside and outside.  Her man Flanders loved her feet almost more than any other part of her gymnastics form.  She once called him, “my feet-fetish guy,” and he called her back, “my sexy feet gal.”

Then Miss Halsey began to think about what had just happened just an hour ago early in this ride in the chariot. It was something good.  And the Good Lord had everything to do with it.  God had used Jenney Halsey to lead a lost woman to the Lord.  This woman was a baton twirler named

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“Mallory.”  Jenney did not know her last name.  But this young lady was dressed in a pretty baton-twirler’s uniform in her front yard, and she was practicing and dropping and fumbling around and greatly discouraged at her efforts.  Jenney commanded her wolves to halt, and she got off her chariot, and she came up to this girl to tell her about the Saviour of the world, the Lord Jesus Who loved her.

And before long, Jenney was able to lead Mallory to salvation.  Mallory then resumed her practices with her baton right after, and again every time she tossed the baton, she failed to catch the baton.  But now this only made her encouraged.  She and Jenney knew, that even if she failed at her pursuits with the baton, she was still going to end up in Heaven someday.  And that was because she was now born-again, thanks in part to Jenney and all thanks in full to Jesus, the Author of Salvation.  And right after, Jenney then hopped back upon her chariot, and commanded her wolves to mush, and resumed her ride, now even more joyful than she was just before.  “It is written about salvation and God the Father, O Timber and company,” said Jenney, “’Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son:’  Colossians 1:13.”  Quoting Bible verses was another spontaneous thing that Jenney did so often in her walk with Christ.  Rare was the Christian woman of any age who knew King James Bible verses as well as Jenney did at eighteen years of age.   Before Mallory had become a born-again Christian, she was a child of the kingdom of darkness, and Satan was her father, and God was her enemy.  But after Mallory had become a born-again Christian, she was a child of the kingdom of light, and Satan was her enemy, and God was her Father.  Such was true for Jenney also upon her own moment of conversion to Christianity some years back.  And such is eternal truth for all who become born-again believers.

“It is written again, O lupine boys,” quoted the teenage Bible student, “’To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me.’  Acts 26:18.”   She said further, “The Devil’s kingdom has lost Mallory over to the Lord’s kingdom.  Amen!”

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Then the mighty witness-warrior said, “Good wolves, it is written, ‘And now, brethren, I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them which are sanctified.’  Acts 20:32!”  Yes, with this word of His grace—this King James Version Bible—a person not only gets saved, but also goes on to live for God.  And it is all God’s doing.  Jenney Halsey finished her reveling with her wolves over the miracle upon Mallory’s soul by saying to them, “That girl is no longer going to Hell, but now is going to Heaven instead!”

And she had a short verbal word of prayer in this chariot that her new convert seek daily her new personal Saviour in worship.

She then paused to listen to the loud noise of the two metal chariot wheels as they turned on this paved county trunk road.  Her wolves were tireless and enduring in this run as in all of their runs.  And she paused to admire her beloved wolf pets.  Each of the seven wolf pets were unique in their spirits.  No two of them were alike.  All were diverse one from another.  And the beguiler girl came to remember a great poem of which the writer James Herriot had entitled four of his novels about a country veterinarian, a famous stanza of poem about God’s glory of animals in His creation.  As the beguiler girl paused to take in God’s creations of her seven timber wolves who made her so happy, she quietly and pensively spoke this stanza of poem to herself and to her own Creator:

“All creatures great and small,

All things wise and wonderful,

All things bright and beautiful,

The Lord God hath made them all.”

Looking first upon Timber, who was leading the way for the six other wolves,  Jenney Halsey reflected first thus upon his special traits to his personality:  Timber was the biggest of her wolves, and every hair of his coat was gray.  Only Timber had ever seen this mistress without her patriotic gymnastics leotard on.  And that was when she had nothing on in a compromising time one day in the woods when she had to go to the bathroom very badly.  He saw her naked, and he most judiciously

 

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turned his face the other way and did not look again.  She laughed that time in self-effacement and quickly once again covered up her form before him.  Timber was not afraid of lakes and rivers—even in the midst of roaring rapids with much rocks.  But a squirt gun he was afraid of.   Were he to misbehave, the mistress simply had to aim her squirt gun at him, and he started to behave again.

Then Jenney looked upon General, and she began to reflect upon his spirit as a timber wolf pet.   General was the friend of wild predators like bears and lions and tigers.  And yet he was the enemy of simple squirrels and chipmunks and voles.  General did not understand animals much smaller than himself.

Then Miss Halsey turned to Colonel and ruminated upon his lupine idiosyncrasies.  Colonel, when he was first hers, did not like men.  He liked women and disliked men.  And he ran away from little children.  With her boyfriend Flanders’s much patience and much kindness, Colonel learned to like Flanders.  And he stopped hating men.  But he still did flee young children.

Then Jenney looked upon Major, and she shared thoughts with God now about him.  Major’s favorite game was jumping into leaf piles with his mistress.  However, if there were little loose sticks somewhere within a leaf pile, he refused to jump in.  And he could always tell if such were the case with his wolf savvy.  The mistress wondered if perhaps he had gotten poked in the eye by a loose little branch one day as a wolf cub playing in the leaves.

Next Miss Halsey turned to Lieutenant and pondered his special character.  Lieutenant knew that his mistress always put powder coffee creamer in her hot cocoa.  She would pour some of this powder creamer onto her palm and offer it to him, and he would most avidly lick it off of her hand until her hand was not only cleaned of the powder, but also cleaned of any of its sticky residue.  One day Jenney used liquid coffee creamer for her cocoa instead.  She poured a little dab of it on her palm, proffered it to him, and he smelled it and utterly refused it.  She then went ahead and licked it up for herself.  And she laughed, and the wolf grinned.  She never proffered him liquid coffee creamer again.

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Then the wolf mistress looked to Captain, and she daydreamed about his ways as a wolf pet.

Captain took great care of his many teeth, ever sharpening them on little trunks of little trees.  He acted

like a beaver.  And his teeth could chew up ham bones as if they were ham itself.  Well, one day, a tree that he was gnawing on in her yard fell right down to the ground.  And where it fell was right into her next-door neighbor’s yard.  Jenney had to apologize to her neighbor, and, right after, Jenney set to work on removing her tree from her neighbor’s yard.

Lastly in her reverie here upon her wolves as she rode in her chariot, she took a good long look at Sergeant.  And she thought upon him.  Sergeant was the digger of her pet wolves.   He dug holes with his fore paws.  And he filled these same holes back up again with his nose.  Well, one day, he went and dug his biggest hole.  And it was along the side of her driveway.  Behold, a sinkhole of all things for him to find!  And when he found this unexpected sinkhole underneath his own hole of holes in the ground, part of her driveway fell down underneath the ground.  But he did not go down, and he was all right.  Here again, the wolf mistress had to set about to undo damage accidentally happening from innocent fun of a wolf pet.  But Flanders helped her in her labors to fix back up her countryside driveway.

After this sweet reflection, Miss Jenney Halsey heard her chariot wheels slowing down and becoming quieter now.  She looked up to the countryside now around her.  They were home now.  The wolf’s kennels were over to this side.  And her house, the Country House, was over to the other side.  And in between was her Rural Gymnasium, her home of her gymnastics.  Well-trained, her wolves brought her to the set of doors of this Rural Gym that was closest to her house.  “Thank you all for the fun ride, boys,” said the beguiler girl.  And she leaped off of the chariot and ran into her gymnasium to do some fun women’s gymnastics for herself.  The wolves were not allowed by their mistress to come into this Rural Gym.  But her boyfriend Flanders was always welcome to come in here and see her perform in her patriotic gymnastics leotard just for him.  Many of their dates together as boyfriend-and-

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girlfriend-in-the-Lord took place at this Rural Gymnasium.  The four exterior walls of her gym were all of gray cement blocks high and wide, all mortared together.  All along these walls at their tops were large windows that let in much light.  These huge windows reached from the top of the cement blocks up to the very high ceiling above.  Down on the ground, in the center of each of the four walls were two pairs of double doors—four doors total for each wall—that served as entrances and exits for the gymnast woman to and from her gymnast gymnasium.  In the one corner of this Rural Gym was her floor routine area.  In another corner of this big gym was her uneven parallel bars area.  In another corner of this training edifice was her balance beam area.  And in the last corner of this great big room was her vaulting area.

Starting her best for the beginning, the beguiler girl stepped out into her floor routine section first for her women’s gymnastics fun for herself alone in here now.  In good leisure Jenney walked about with her bare feet on the mat of the floor exercise.  And she pondered facts and figures about this special matted floor.  In the English system such a mat for the floor routine measured forty feet by forty feet.  In the Metric system one could say that this mat measured twelve meters by twelve meters.  This was the official standard for women’s gymnastics competitions.  In the Metric system, diagonally, that is, from one corner to the opposite corner, the mat measured seventeen meters.  An official floor routine mat was made of foam and springs and was covered with carpeting.  But this beguiler girl went one step farther for herself and had put in the best floor routine surface in all of Wisconsin for her Rural Gym.  It was the same floor routine surface that the Olympics had installed for the Olympic women gymnasts just this same year.  It was made by a French company called “Gymnova.”  And this special floor was called “Glasgow.”  It was twenty centimeters high.  It consisted of three layers.  The base layer was made of plywood, and it had two thousand springs, and each spring was eleven centimeters tall.  The intermediate layer was made of high density foam panels.  And the performance layer was of carpet that consisted of several strips joined together by hook and loop fastened bands.  The beguiler

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girl and her boyfriend loved the floor routine most of all in women’s gymnastics.

Then Jenney came up to the uneven parallel bars corner of her gym.  She chalked up her hands and slapped them together a couple times.  Official uneven parallel bars were made of a steel frame.  Hers were such here.  And official bars were made of fiberglass with a wood coating—either maple or oak.  Jenney’s bars, also official, were made of a fiberglass core with a birch wood laminate, and these bars were hinged to rivets inserted to hollow posts that were attached to the metal frame.  All this was what kept the uneven parallel bars in place.  In the English system, the higher bar of the two bars was

eight feet high, and the lower bar of the two bars was five-and-one-half feet high; and six feet was the distance from one bar to the other.  As for the bars in themselves, in the Metric system they measured three-and-one-half meters long, were oval in cross-section, and measured five centimeters thick up and down and four centimeters thick left and right..  The beguiler girl and her boyfriend loved the uneven parallel bars the second most of all in women’s gymnastics.

After this, the gymnast woman came up to where her balance beam was.  She passed her hand across the top of the balance beam where she stood.  This routine was considered the most challenging of the four routines of her sport.  Her official balance beam was padded on its top, but was still hard to the touch.  In the English system, her balance beam was four inches across and sixteen-and-one-half feet long; and it stood four feet high.  In the Metric system, her balance beam was ten centimeters across and five meters long; and it stood one-and-one-quarter meters high.  Miss Jenney Halsey remembered what she had learned in class one day about how balance beams were built: A carpenter needed six eight-foot pieces of one-by-six pine beams and four twelve-inch pieces of two-by-four wood planks and four 24-inch pieces of two-by-four wood planks.  This beguiler girl and her boyfriend loved this balance beam the third most of all in women’s gymnastics.

Then, lastly, the Christian gymnast woman came up to her vaulting area.  She came up to the vaulting table and looked down upon the springboard that lay upon the mat below.  She pushed her

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right foot down upon it; then she pushed her left foot down upon it.  A vaulter like herself in her meets had to sprint down a runway, and to leap up off of this springboard to begin her vault.  This apparatus that lay there upon the mat was also called a “Reuther board” or a “beatboard.”  She then turned to the vaulting table itself.  This apparatus had another name–”the horse.”  This horse was a slightly-inclined metal piece of equipment with padding and a spring cover.  From her classes she remembered that this vaulting table weighed 364 pounds.  It measured four feet three inches high.  She then looked off to the side at the official runway; this measured eighty-two feet long, and it was carpeted.  Such an apparatus as this in women’s gymnastics originated as a men’s pommel horse of men’s gymnastics, only without the two handles.  Hence the original name “the horse.” The beguiler girl and her boyfriend loved the vault the fourth most of all in women’s gymnastics.

Great was Jenney Halsey’s happiness down here on the Rural Gymnasium’s floor.  But this Rural Gym also had a mezzanine, and she was even happier up there in the mezzanine with her women’s gymnastics than she was down here with her women’s gymnastics.  She and her boyfriend had many of their most fun and cherished dates together up there in the mezzanine.  The way up to the mezzanine was by way of two staircases of fifty steps each, one staircase to the left of the mezzanine and one staircase to the right of the mezzanine.  She quickly ran up the staircase that lay to the right.

Up here was just as much as being home as was her Country House.  And she spun in place and said to God, “Thank You for my little utopia up here, O Lord.”  And she wandered around up here in sweet reverie. She came up to the wrought iron railing that ran along the edge of this mezzanine that overlooked her whole gym fifty feet below.  Flanders always stood up here and leaned against this railing as he watched her do her tricks and routines down there just for him.  His cheers were sometimes abundant with praises to God, and sometimes his cheers were abundant with praises for her female form in her patriotic leotard.  A little fellowship and a little flirting made the beguiler girl happy in her dates like this with Flanders here.  Up in this mezzanine was also a little library of books about

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women’s gymnastics.  There were books about Olympic gymnastics since 1900 to the present.  And there were books about college gymnastics in the NCAA.  And there were books about Wisconsin high school gymnastics in the WIAA tournaments.  And there were biographies and autobiographies of famous women gymnasts from Marcia Frederick’s days to Simone Biles’s days.   And there were textbooks and manuals and rules books and big glossary books all about women’s gymnastics. And her favorite shelf were the books that illustrated the changes of the fashions and the styles of women’s gymnastics leotards throughout the past century plus of such an apparel.  Also up in this mezzanine was  her own little trophy case.  In this case she had gold trophy cups and silver trophy cups and bronze medals and blue ribbons and red ribbons and plaques and certificates and diplomas and newspaper articles and magazine articles and videos about herself. In this mezzanine was also her menagerie in her closet.  Here was her sum collection of all of her own gymnastics leotards that she had on in all of her meets in all of her lifetime in her happy pastime as woman gymnast.  And to her delight, all were long-sleeved gymnastics leotards.  She and Flanders delighted in gymnastics leotards with long-sleeves and despised gymnastics leotards with half-sleeves or no sleeves.  Her garments of her sport were held up on this closet pole by hangers with two metal clothespins by the shoulders.  To the right side of this closet was her changing room.  To the left side of this closet was her set of three full-length mirrors in their three angles.  She liked to dress up once in a while in her previous leotards that they had made her wear in her competitions.  She would pick out a leotard from the closet, get dressed in it in her changing room, and come out and look at herself in front of her mirrors.  On one wild month of dates up here with Flanders, they had shared sweet romance together of making a photo album of her in every last one of her gymnastics garments that filled this closet with menagerie.  He took pictures of her with her three reflections in front of the three mirrors in her complete variegated gamut from this closet.  And as much fun as this was for the beguiler girl in her boyfriend’s many attentions for her, it was even more fun for her boyfriend to give her all of these attentions and to see her in different

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gymnastics leotards for these first times other than in their favorite American leotard she wore every day.  And when this most fun flirting with his camera was done, he put all of the pictures in a photo album, and he gave his photo album to her for a Valentine’s Day present.  She gave him a box of chocolates for his Valentine’s Day present.  She loved the photo album, and he loved the chocolates.  Up in this mezzanine was also a little wooden table with two little wooden chairs across from each other.  Upon this table up here in her “home next to her home,” were two books.  One was this photo album; the other was the King James Bible.  Were she to start looking at this picture album at this table, she always ended up her little sit-down with Bible-reading.  But were she to start reading the Bible first here at this mezzanine table, she did not always finish her sit-down here by opening up her picture album.  Flanders loved to read out loud from this Bible at this table to her from the book of Revelation.

And she loved to read out loud to Flanders from this Bible at this table from the book of Psalms.  And they shared most efficacious prayer-meetings together across from each other at this little table of the mezzanine.

One day up here she got herself and Flanders in trouble with the Lord.  She tempted him to sin, and he gave in to the temptation.  And God was not happy.  It started out righteous at first.  They were reading from the book of Deuteronomy together, reading out loud simultaneously in a Bible study together at this wonderful little table here in this comfortable mezzanine.  And they came to Deuteronomy 22:5.  And they read out loud together this Scripture verse for their first time.  It said, “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment:  for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.”

The first thing that the beguiler girl said was, “But I never put on a man’s type of outfit, Flanders,”

“Oh, I know, Jenney,” he said.

“And you never put on a woman’s type of outfit, Flanders.” said the beguiler girl.

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“I so know,” said Flanders.

“I never think about doing such things as that in this Bible verse,” said Jenney.

“One does not see women cross dressers out there,” said Flanders.

“But there are men cross dressers out there,” said Jenney.

“According to this verse, both are abominable in the eyes of God,” said Flanders.

A still silent moment of thoughts came upon the two.  And the woman spoke first now after this muteness. Saying, “We could do it once, Flanders.  It need be only this one time.  And then we will never do it again.”

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” asked Flanders.

“Uh huh,” said the beguiler girl.

“You really want to put on my guy’s clothes.” said Flanders.

“Do you want even just a little bit to put on my gal’s clothes?” asked Jenney.

“Uh huh,” he said with a nod.  “But I do not have rest in doing that, Jenney.”

“It’s not like we are committing immorality as such, Flanders,” she said.

“It is still wrong, as we now can tell from the Bible, Jenney,” he said.

“It is not as bad as fornication or adultery, Flanders,” she said.  “You know how we both love God enough that we will never fall into temptation of fornication or adultery.”

“Yeah,” he said noncommittally.

“Yeah!” said the woman most committal.

“I did always wonder what it feels like to put on a gymnastics leotard,” said Flanders.

“Especially mine,” said Jenney.

“Yes!” exclaimed Flanders.

“Go for it, boyfriend!” exclaimed the beguiler girl.

“I think that I will,” vowed Flanders.

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“And I will, too,” said Jenney Halsey.

In one last hesitation, Flanders deceitfully said, “Only if you go first.”

“But you want it more,” said the beguiler girl.  “You go first.”

And they changed clothes together alone in the dressing room.  She came out as the gentleman.  And he came as the gymnast lady.  She did not look so pretty to him now.  And he did not look so handsome to her now.  They saw themselves in the mirror and felt like gender-benders dressed as they were now in satisfaction of drag queen curiosity.

“We did bad.  Didn’t we?” asked the woman in men’s clothes.

“We must repent before God strikes us,” said Flanders dressed as his beguiler girl.

Lo, a skunk came walking up the steps to the mezzanine and in unto where they both stood in front of the mirrors.  And he sprayed the both of them with his most noisome substance.  Then at once he turned and walked away and back down the steps from the mezzanine.

In great discomfort now in their supposed comfortable drag clothes now reeking in skunk stink, they had to now exchange outfits in honor of the gender that God had made them.  They both stunk when they took off their drag clothes, and they both stunk when they put on their right clothes.  And then they decided to call this date quits for now.  He went back to his Rural House, rebuked by the holy

God, and he took off his “skunk clothes” and took a bath to try to get clean again.  And she walked to her Country House, reproved also by God for her iniquity, and she took off her “skunk leotard” and sought to clean up herself with a shower.

The beguiler girl’s favorite leotard looked to be completely ruined for her.  And she cried.  But God had mercy upon her, and with much care and work she was able to take out the stink, to see her beloved leotard good as new all over again, and to see Flanders on a date the next week in her perfectly

restored red, white and blue stars and stripes gymnastics leotard.  That date, they both apologized to each other; they both said, “I’m sorry,” to God: and they both promised never to do that again.

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CHAPTER II

Flanders Arckery Nickels, a rock in the faith of a veteran born-again believer, was alone with God and his King James Bible and his seven saber-toothed tigers pets out here in his five-acre front yard.  With his bookmarks and his notebooks and his pencils he was studying the meat of the Bible all about Jesus’s temptation in the wilderness with the Devil.  His whole front yard abounded with little and young and healthy box elder trees among verdant patches of good lawn.  The tallest box elders were yet hardly six feet tall.  And the smallest box elders were hardly four feet tall.  And right now he was in a sunny patch of green lawn between the trees with his big cat Sawtooth at his side.  He liked to talk to Sawtooth, because he was his favorite pet, even though Sawtooth could not understand his master’s words.  He said now to him in his rightly dividing of the Word of God, himself comparing Scripture with Scripture throughout this Good Book, “Good boy, I’ve got bookmarks in Matthew chapter four and in Luke chapter four and in the book of Deuteronomy and in the book of John and in the Psalter.”  Sawtooth gave forth a roar of assent and nestled his big head against his master’s side where they both sat.  The other six big cats were playing big cats’ games not far away in this front yard.

This was the wisdom that Flanders was studying this day about the temptation in the wilderness:

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John the Baptist had just finished baptizing Jesus in the Jordan River, and the Holy Spirit had just descended down into Jesus like a dove, and God the Father had just proclaimed about Him, “This is my beloved Son, in Whom I am well pleased.”  And Jesus was led to a wilderness by the Holy Spirit to be tempted by the Devil.  And Satan came to tempt Jesus here.  Jesus is God.  Satan dared to tempt God to sin.  Now for the previous forty days, Jesus had not eaten food, nor had He drunk water.  Jesus was mighty hungry and mighty thirsty.  Little rocks and stones were scattered about where He stood.  The tempter began his work on the Lord Jesus, saying to Him, “If Thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread.”  Indeed, Himself being God, the man Jesus needed only to speak His Words, and, lo, the stones would become bread, and then He could eat.  After all, being God in the flesh, this Jesus was so very hungry and so very needed to eat and to fill up.  But this Jesus knew that this Devil spoke his suggestion to tempt Him, not to benefit Him.  This Jesus turned to the Words of God from the Bible to overcome this great temptation and to defeat His foe Satan.  The Lord here in the wilderness knew the Old Testament words of Deuteronomy 8:3 which said, “And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the Lord doth man live.”  And right then Jesus rebuked the Devil by speaking this verse right back at him in his face, saying, “It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.”  And Satan was defeated in this first temptation in the wilderness of the three temptations in the wilderness.  And the wily Devil sought to try again with the Lord Jesus.  And this time the tempter took Jesus up to Jerusalem, the holy city, and he did set Him upon the roof of the temple of God.  Now the Devil was ever a clever imitator of God, doing things for the bad that God did for the good.  Jesus knew all Scripture perfectly.  The Devil also knew all Scripture.  Jesus had just gotten done quoting Scripture and Satan lost that battle.  So now the Devil would quote Scripture at Jesus and maybe win this second battle with God.  And as Jesus

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stood upon the very high roof, the Devil said to Him, “If Thou be the Son of God, cast Thyself down:  for it is written,  ‘He shall give His angels charge concerning Thee:  and in their hands they shall bear Thee up, lest at any time Thou dash Thy foot against a stone.’”  This apparently was the two Bible verses Psalm 91:11-12.  Were Satan to tempt Jesus, upon hearing this promise from the Bible, to jump and trust God to keep Him safe, Satan would have fooled Jesus.  But Jesus well knew how the real Psalm 91:11-12 did go in its completeness.  The real pair of verses instead read thus:  “For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.”  Jesus’s version was the whole version; the Devil’s version was only a subtle partial version.  Satan had deliberately misquoted this passage, purposefully omitting the phrase “to keep thee in all thy ways.”  But Jesus was on to him. Jesus knew better than to jump right now outside of the ways of God. And Jesus fired back into the Devil these Words of God point-blank, “It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.”  This verse came from Deuteronomy 6:16, which read, “Ye shall not tempt the Lord your God, as ye tempted him in Massah.”  Here again, in this second temptation in the wilderness of the three, Jesus prevailed over Satan.  But the Devil never rests in his work of lies and temptations and deceits.  He went on to seek a third challenge with Jesus.  This time the great tempter took the Lord up to the pinnacle of a very high mountain.  From this very high mountain Satan made sure that Jesus could see all of the kingdoms of this world in their glory all at once.  And when Jesus saw all of this, Satan promised Him that he would give all of these kingdoms to Him if He would just fall down and worship him.  As it is written, “And the devil said unto him. All this power will I give thee, and the glory of them:  for that is delivered unto me; and to whomsoever I will I give it.  If thou therefore wilt worship me, all shall be thine.”  Just think upon so bold and wicked impudence that the Devil tempted God to worship him!  Besides this, the whole world already belonged to Jesus.  John 3:35 says, “The Father loveth the Son, and hath given all things into his hand.”  What the Devil was really trying to do was to tempt Jesus not to go to the cross.  The Devil’s way was

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painless; God’s way was the shed blood of Calvary.  The Devil definitely did not want Jesus to die for the sins of mankind for the salvation of the world.  He now tempted Jesus with an easier way to claim this earth of people than by the Lord’s way of crucifixion.  Again Jesus borrowed verses from the book of Deuteronomy for victory over so great salvation—this time a pair of verses. In Deuteronomy 6;13 it says, “Thou shalt fear the Lord thy God, and serve him, and shalt swear by his name.” And in Deuteronomy 10:20 it says, “Thou shalt fear the Lord thy God; him shalt thou serve, and to him shalt thou cleave, and swear by his name.”  Joining these two commands into one command, Jesus assaulted the Devil with this Bible verse, “Get thee hence, Satan:  for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.”  And, lo, Satan lost this third battle of the three battles he had with Jesus in this wilderness, Jesus having overcome temptation for this third time by quoting a Bible verse at him.  And Satan gave up with Jesus for now and went away.  In the narrative of this temptation in the wilderness in Matthew chapter four, after it was done, in Matthew 4:11 it is written, “Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.”  And in the narrative of this temptation in the wilderness in Luke chapter four, after it was all finished, in Luke 4:13 it is written, “And when the devil had ended all the temptation, he departed from him for a season.”

Flanders’s Bible study was now done for the day.  And he then looked out upon his great big tigers with their saber teeth.  Sawtooth was on his belly to his master’s right side.  And the names of the other six saber-toothed tigers out playing in this front yard were “Snaggletooth,” and “Chiseltooth,” and “Sledgetooth,” and “Scissorstooth,” and “Rapiertooth,” and “Speartooth,” They were fierce in peace and ferocious in battle.  Their job was to protect and to befriend and to heed their master for God in all things.  He was a Christian soldier who hunted evil beasts from the Devil.  And these saber-toothed tigers were his troops for the cause of good.

As a warrior-for-Christ, Flanders Nickels always had his artillery with him at all times wherever he was and whatever he was doing. His artillery was given him from God, and he used it mightily for

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God.  He was regarded as the foremost archer in all the world, and his archery pieces were considered also the foremost bow and arrow in all the world.  Flanders Nickels’ weapon was the famous Bronze Bow and Brass Arrows and Deerhide Quiver.

Flanders Nickels wanted to play with his saber-toothed tigers now.  They played many different games throughout their years as master-and-pet.  Some were rough and tough games.  Some were speed and finesse games.  And some were complex decision-making games.  And some were obstacle courses.  The one that the saber-toothed-tiger master wanted to play for now was “Fetch.”  He wanted to play Fetch so that he could use his artillery from God.  Shooting arrows was fun for him in this game with the big cats.  He then proceeded to fire one of his arrows down into the ground before his feet.

That was his invitation to his big cats about his desire to play Fetch right now.  And they knew that.  And they all roared in assent.  “Fetch it shall be this day, then, big boys,” he said to them.

And he began to fire his arrows, one at a time, for one big cat at a time to go and fetch it and to bring it back to his master.  Each saber-toothed tiger got his turn, and there were many rounds,, making many turns for all seven pets.  And as they played, their master relived with God in silent prayers upon that which made his big tigers so unique.

He thought first of all upon Sawtooth.  Sawtooth had the longest saber teeth of the seven saber-toothed tigers.  Flanders often took out his cloth measuring tape and measured his favorite cat’s saber teeth.  And they were each thirteen inches long.  Sawtooth often ate bones for breakfast.  And he was known for eating ice blocks to quench his thirst.  And he chewed on stones to sharpen his saber teeth.

Indeed Sawtooth’s saber teeth were more deadly than a black bear’s swiping paw or a timber rattler’s bite of venom or a coyote pack’s clamping down teeth.

Flanders the master then thought upon Snaggletooth.  Snaggletooth had the thickest saber teeth of the seven big cats.  Yesterday Flanders took the same cloth measuring line, and he measured the circumference of this big tiger’s saber teeth.  Each measured three inches all around at the top and two

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inches all around in the middle and one inch all around at the bottom.  Snaggletooth liked to snack on hard uncooked spaghetti and hard uncooked macaroni—both right out of the box—to keep hard his saber teeth.  Unlike the other big cats of this family, this tiger had blunt, and not sharp, tips to his saber teeth. And he liked it that way.

Next Flanders pondered upon Chiseltooth.  Chiseltooth had the sharpest saber teeth among the seven tigers.  And he had the thinnest teeth of the seven.  The circumference of his saber teeth along their tops was only one inch.  But the tips of his saber teeth were as sharp as the tip of a pin.  Chiseltooth could rip a bear up with one biting of his saber teeth.  And he could snatch fish easily out of the river with his saber teeth.  And he could bore through a board of wood with his sharp saber teeth like a drill could with a drill bit.  His foods were, most uncharacteristically for a carnivore, fresh fruit and fresh vegetables from the farmers’ market many times.  His saber teeth could spear through the fruits and vegetables like a skewer, and he could pull off the fruits and vegetables and eat them as a man would eat the Oriental food chicken on a stick or shish kabobs on a stick.

Next Flanders ruminated upon Sledgetooth.  Sledgetooth had the crooked saber teeth of the seven big tigers.  His saber teeth were both winding and spiraling from top to bottom.  Nor were they smooth and polished and bright white.  Flanders thought how dirty were this tiger pet’s saber teeth.

Sledgetooth loved to eat scraps.  He loved it when his master came back home from the grocery store with a little box of meat scraps that the butcher could not sell.  He especially loved to eat liver—both beef liver and chicken liver.  And he himself had chicken gizzards as his favorite food.  But he despised desserts.  And though he tasted a Belgian Pie one day, he vowed never to eat it nor to look at it again.

Next Flanders reflected upon Scissorstooth.  Scissorstooth had the perfect saber-toothed tiger mouth of the seven.  His saber-teeth could clamp down upon his lower teeth right in the middle and make a perfect fit with a perfect line.  And his saber teeth were always white and cavity-free and strongly set in his healthy gums.  The countryside veterinarian saw this tiger’s teeth for his first time

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one day years ago, and he said, “Flanders, this tiger’s teeth will outlive this tiger.”  Scissorstooth never sought to eat the kind of food that was the best for the cause of his teeth.  What he did was to go to the creek and wash his mouth out with pure clean creek water after every meal and after every snack.  He made sure not to leave any food particle anywhere in his mouth.  Then he would scrape his two saber teeth against the big rocks along the banks of this creek to keep them white and glistening and clean.

And he did this for a half-hour until he felt that his teeth were ready for his next meal later on in the same day.

Next Flanders daydreamed about Rapiertooth.  Rapiertooth had the most-used saber teeth among the seven saber-toothed tigers.  As much as he liked to bite into game animals, he liked almost as much to bite into all other things that were not food for a big tiger.  He bit into tree trunks and put big holes in these trees.  He bit into boulders and put big holes in these big rocks.  He bit into the ground and made big holes in the earth.  These things were things that he did not eat.  He also bit into foxes and wolverines and bucks and does and badgers and beavers.  These things were things that he did eat were he hungry at the time. Once he bit into the shoulder of one of the other big cats of his master for a game.  But it was not a game to that tiger and to the master.  And Flanders punished him appropriately with a three-day fast from biting food or nonfood.  Rapiertooth never bit any of his comrades again after this.

Next Flanders meditated upon Speartooth.  Speartooth was the tiger with the saber teeth who did not like to use them.  He was obsessive about his two saber teeth and greatly took tender loving care of them.  Most of all, he was too lazy to go about and to use them for what they were.  He did not want his saber teeth to fall out as an older man’s hair falls out when he ages.  He ate some, nonetheless—things like pudding and gelatin and hot cereal.  He ate nothing that was hard on his teeth or that might wear out his teeth.  And yet he never took time to sharpen them or to clean them.  His master Flanders told him that all of his ideas about what might happen to his cherished saber teeth were only

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foolish tales that he had heard from others.  And he knew that Flanders was right. And he was slowly letting himself go for his own good.  Nonetheless, Speartooth’s funnest diversion was still to look at his

teeth in the reflection off of the lake under the bright noon sun.

The master then fired his last arrow of today’s game of fetch.  He fired it straight up into the air.  It was Sawtooth’s turn now.  And Sawtooth looked up into the skies, waited for it to come down, and did snatch it in his saber teeth before it could strike the ground.  “Well done, Sawtooth!” exclaimed Flanders.  This chief saber-toothed tiger then presented it before his master, this arrow between his two saber teeth and held on to by his tiger’s tongue below.  Flanders took it and said, “Very well done, Sawtooth.”  And Sawtooth roared in gladness upon such praise from his master.

“Most very well done, all of you,” praised the master all of his big tigers.

And all six other saber-toothed tigers roared in acknowledgment of their master’s hearty approval.  And Fetch was done for this day.  This family of eight was happy.

Flanders Nickels remembered about another famous hunter that hunted like himself. This was Nimrod of the Bible.  This Nimrod could have even been an archer like himself.  The Bible did not say.  It is written in the Old Testament, in Genesis 10:8-9, “And Cush begat Nimrod:  he began to be a mighty one in the earth.  He was a mighty hunter before the Lord:  wherefore it is said, Even as Nimrod the mighty hunter before the Lord.”  Why, that was well over four thousand years ago!  Nimrod was born sometime after the great flood.  He was the great grandson of Noah.  He was the grandson of Ham, one of the three sons of Noah.  On the down side, this same Nimrod was also a conqueror and also the founder of Babylon.  This kingdom which he had founded was also called “the land of Nimrod.”

He then said, “Sawtooth and you rest out here, I do believe that I am something that Nimrod probably was not.  I am a born-again believer.  It does not look like Nimrod was, though.”  Flanders Arckery Nickels was many things, and he had many hats in his life down here on Earth.  But he was,

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in sum, a son of God living for Jesus his personal Saviour.  Second, he was an archer for the Lord.

Third, he was the boyfriend to the beguiler girl.  Fourth, he was a master of seven saber-toothed tigers.

As a son of God—that is, a Christian fellow—Flanders most loved to worship Christ every day and every night for hours.  His “first-in-command means of worship” was his prayer life.  His “first love” means of worship was studying his King James Bible.  His fellowship means of worship was his Baptist church services every time the doors were open.  In a personal evaluation or measurement of how important these three means of worship were for him, he gave to his praying the number “100,” and he gave to his Bible-reading the number “99,” and he gave to his church attendance the number “98.”  Hence his fond symbol of his worship life “100/99/98.”

When did he pray daily, and where was his prayer site?  He prayed every evening into the night for between one-and-one quarter hours and two hours.  One-and-one-quarter hours to one-and-one-half hours of duration of prayer he did call his “standard.”  By standard, in his own meaning here, he meant that that was the amount of time he needed in prayer to get his satisfaction.  Two hours of duration in prayer, he did call “maxing out.”  To him, by this, he meant that that was as long as he could pray a prayer before he ran out of things to share with God thus.  A very few times, he had a prayer that lasted for two-and-one-quarter hours; these most long prayers he affectionately called “mega-prayers.”  His bedroom was his official prayer site.  He would lie on top of his bed, his body most physically at rest, and he would chat with God just as he would with his church brethren.  His prayers in this bedroom were silent thoughts up to Heaven.  If he were to make some of his words in these silent prayers spoken out loud, such times were moments of great fervor.  And the darker the night got in his bedroom on his bed, the more spiritual became his prayers.  He did not pray in the morning.  And he shied away from prayer in the midday.  God deserved his best, and the mornings he was at his worst.  That was true for Flanders personally.  Scripture said that any time of day was good for the child of God to pray.  Every prayer-warrior was different among Christianity.  Other times in his bedroom, for his nightly prayer,

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Flanders Nickels took his pillow from off of his bed, set it upon the wooden floor beside his bed, and knelt down on the pillow beside his bed, and did pray there.  He was likely to fold his hands together in this posture for his prayer, because the height of his mattress made it easy to do that.  He never went out of his way to do this with his hands, but it seemed that that was what he did when he knelt to pray by his bed.  Other times in his prayers, he stood before his window to pray, a cup of coffee on the window sill before him.  This was a high window, too high to sit before it, and just right to stand before it.  And this ledge was high enough for him to stand and drink his coffee as God heard his thoughts.  In the dark of such prayer nights before the window, with the lights off, no one could see him; he was not a boaster who might say to anyone seeing him then, “Look at how good I am.  I am praying right now.”

Besides that, even if others did see him, they could not tell that he was praying. He just wanted to have his great fun in his quiet time with the Lord, and here by the window was one of his prayer sites that he did go to lots for this fun.

As for his Bible studies, when did he read his Bible, and where was his Bible-reading site?  First of all, he did his Bible-readings all alone with God.  It always surprised him, with his way of Bible-reading, that every time he told neighbors and others about how fun his Bible-studies were, they would always ask him, “Who was in your group?”  And then he would again comprehend how most people did their Bible studies—with others.  But not Flanders.  Flanders read his Bible alone with God–in bright days with his lights off and in dark evenings with the lights on.  Again, he eschewed such delights in his most nonspiritual mornings right out of bed for the day.  Bible-reading, like praying, he wanted to be wide awake.  He was a night person, and he was not a morning person.  Again, his standard for his Bible studies were just as they were for his prayers—one-and-one-quarter hours to one-and-one-half hours.  And his maxing out with his Bible-reading was as his maxing out with his prayers—two hours duration.  His official Bible-study site was his living room table, upon which was his whole Bible-reading gamut all spread out across its top.  Here were white and colored

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index card notebooks and many number two lead pencils and a loose pencil sharpener and his King James Version Bible which he underlined in and wrote notes in, and his commentary devotionals and his King James Version Bible which he did not write in and a little calendar and a table lamp and a clock and a ruler and a third King James Version Bible that he read out loud from.  His whole Bible sum here he likened to a “horn of plenty” in its great variety.  The Holy Bible that he underlined in and wrote notes in, he called “his traditional reading Bible.”  And this traditional reading was his first-in-command of his Bible studies. His index card notebooks, wherein were all of his memorizing and re-memorizing of all of his favorite Bible verses, were his second-in-command of his Bible studies.  And this devotional was called “Feature,” and with this Feature he used his Bible that he did not write in, this Bible which he called his “auxiliary Bible.”  This was his third-in-command of his Bible studies.  And his third Bible, which he called his “auxiliary reading Bible.” was also unmarked, and from here he was reading the Scriptures out loud from start to finish.  The standard for this was twenty minutes.  This auxiliary reading was his fourth-in-command of his Bible studies.

As for his church, what was its name, and how often did he go to church?  Its name was “So Great Salvation Baptist Temple.”  And Flanders Nickels was there faithfully for years, neither truant nor tardy, every time the doors were open.  He and Jenney were Pastor’s most faithful members of the flock.  When adult Sunday School was taking place, Flanders was always there.  When Sunday Morning Worship was taking place, Flanders was always there.  When Sunday Evening Worship was taking place, Flanders was always there.  And when Wednesday Night Bible Study and Prayer Meeting was taking place, Flanders was always there.  And he was always there back in the former days of Thursday Evening Visitation.  And he was always there in these latter days of Saturday Morning Visitation.  Flanders Nickels was the official usher to So Great Salvation Baptist Temple.  And Pastor had a special friendship with Flanders even more so than he did with his two faithful deacons.  And Pastor always said in great praise to Flanders, “There is a strength being around a faithful Christian,

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and there is a weakness being around an unfaithful Christian.”  Pastor was indeed thanking Flanders for his great faithfulness and for Pastor’s strength that came from being around Flanders.  Two of Pastor’s favorite Scriptures were all about faithfulness.  One was Proverbs 20:6, which ended with, “…:  but a faithful man who can find?” And the other was Proverbs 28:20, which started with, “A faithful man shall abound with blessings:…”  Flanders loved Luke 18:8 which ended with, “…Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?”  And God’s perfect faithfulness is found in I Corinthians 1:9. wherein it is written, “God is faithful, by whom ye were called unto the fellowship of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord.”  This countryside Baptist church was small in numbers, but mighty in Holy Spirit.  Pastor very often preached on Psalm 127:1, which begins, “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it:…”  For that reason, Pastor never referred to So Great Salvation Baptist Temple as “Pastor’s church,” but instead as “God’s church.”  God was the One Who saved souls.  And God was the One Who brought these saved people to church.  And God was the One Who convinced these saved visitors to go on and to become official members of the flock. Thus God was the One Who built So Great Salvation Baptist Temple.  As all of the visiting missionaries said, “God is in this church, Pastor.”  And Pastor ever acknowledged that.  To God be the glory for this little Baptist church down the road.

This threesome of means of worship were the three most important things to Flanders.  And it is written in John 15:7, “If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.”

And God was well-pleased with Flanders His worshiper.

 

 

 

 

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CHAPTER III

Jenney Halsey and Flanders Nickels were on a date together at his place.  They were way in the back of his back one hundred acres on the beach of his Rural Lake.  She came once again on this date in her patriotic gymnastics leotard that they both adored on her.  It was the Fourth of July for America this day, and Jenney brought smoke bombs and snakes for the daytime celebration, and Flanders brought sparklers and firecrackers for the nighttime celebration.  They had agreed already to make this date an all-day date unto the night.  For breakfast they each ate three hot breakfast sandwiches on croissants—a little egg, a little cheese, a little sausage, a little bacon, a little Canadian bacon—throughout the three such sandwiches.  Both full from breakfast on the beach, they then went and shot off their daytime fireworks here in the sand for two hours.  Jenney lit her many smoke bombs of many different colors, and clouds of colored smoke filled this shore and the countryside beyond.  The last such smoke bomb of this morning was an unusual one—it was a black smoke bomb.  And the black smoke cloud cast an eerie and fun ambiance to this shore of Rural Lake, before it dissipated.

“Amen, Flanders!” said the beguiler girl to this smoke bomb show.

“It is all going away now, Jenney,” said Flanders.

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And in the ensuing whiles, they both watched as the many clouds of colors drifted out over the lake and slowly disappeared into the atmosphere.

“How many smoke bombs did we get to see, Jenney?” asked Flanders.

“Oh, a hundred, Flanders,” said the beguiler girl.  “Ask me how many snakes I bought for us to see today.”

“How many snakes did you buy?” he asked.

“You mean, ‘How many little boxes of snakes did I buy?’” she said.

“How many little boxes of snakes did you buy today, Jenney?” he asked.

“Oh, a dozen, Flanders,” said the beguiler girl.

“Oh, good.  More smoke,” he said in mock sarcasm.

“And ashes, too,” said the beguiler girl.

“But more ashes than smoke, girl,” said Flanders.

“We are liable to get soot on our bare feet here if we step on one after it is all done,” said Jenney.

“We are liable to burn our bare feet if we step on one after it is all done,” said Flanders.

“Oh, but I’m sure that snakes cool down quite quickly,” she said.

“That’s good, Jenney,” he said.  “The only thing worse than stepping on a cooled down snake and turning our feet black is to step on a still-hot snake and turning our feet black and burning them at the same time.”

“I wonder what Jesus is thinking about these anecdotes that we are spouting,” said the beguiler girl with a grin.

“He’s probably laughing with us,” said Flanders.

“Ha ha ha,” said Jenny.

“He he he,” said Flanders.

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And with no further ado, Jenney Halsey began to light off the little black pellets called “snakes.” and the two celebrators watched these pellets spread out like snakes of ash and listened as these snakes sizzled in their transformation.

By midday there was one last snake to light.  Miss Halsey lit it.  It sizzled and went out at once.

She lit it again, and again it sizzled and went out at once.  She tried a third time.  Same thing.  The same with the fourth time.  And in like with the fifth time.

“A dud,” said Flanders.

“I give up,” said Jenney.  And both laughed again.  And the Lord in Heaven laughed again with them.

“Let’s eat lunch,” said Flanders.  “I’m hungry.”

“So am I,” said Jenney.

And for lunch the boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ had prepared sandwiches that they both knew and loved so well.  They had anchovy sandwiches with white bread and butter, and they had sardine sandwiches with white bread and butter.  Flanders’s mom was half-Danish, and she had bestowed such Danish food as anchovies and sardines upon Flanders in his growing-up years at home, himself one-quarter-Danish. He liked them right from the first.   And in like manner, early in their dating years, Flanders had introduced these family sandwiches to his girlfriend Jenney.  And she loved them instantly.

And once again she said, “At least sardines in the cans do not have heads, Flanders.”

“Oh, but they do have tales, Jenney,” he said.  “I cut off the tails.”

“I’d rather cut off tails than cut off heads, Flanders,” she said.

“I cut sardines open and pull out the little bone in the middle,” he said.

“I didn’t do that my first time,” she said.  “I’m glad you told me to do that in my second time.”

“Was it crunchy?” he asked. “That first sardine in your life?”

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“Yes,” she said.  “I did not expect vertebrae in a sardine.”

“You did it all wrong,” said Flanders.

Then the beguiler girl said, “These anchovies are always powerful salty.”

“More salty than a white cracker and less salty than a bouillon cube,” he said.

“I put only three on my bread, and there is so much bread left over, and still it is plenty of anchovies in my sandwich,” said the beguiler girl.

“I put four anchovies on my bread,” he said.

“Is there still bread left over in your sandwiches with four anchovies?” she asked.

“Less bread left over than yours, but more left over than a sandwich with five anchovies, girl,” he said.

“Who ever heard of putting five anchovies in one sandwich?” asked Miss Halsey.

“I tried that once,” he said.

“What was it like, Flanders?” she asked.

“The tip of my tongue stung for a while,” he said.  “And I coughed a few times.”

“Well.  No wonder, boyfriend,” said the beguiler girl.

“Served me right,” said Flanders.

“What did you bring for us to drink on our picnic out here on the beach, Flanders, with all this salt we are consuming?” asked Jenney Halsey.

“I did not bring apple juice,” he said.

“I sure feel like something cold and juicy and made from apples today, Flanders,” said Jenney.

“But I did bring apple cider, Jenney,” he said.

“Oh, that’s better, Flanders,” she said.

“Something cold and ‘cidery’ and made from apples, Jenney,” he said.

“Just perfect for the Fourth of July,” said Miss Halsey.

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“I’m hungry, and I’m thirsty,” said Flanders.

“It’s time for a little less talk and a little more eating,” said Jenney.

And they went on to thank God for the food and to devour their lunch here on the sandy shores of Rural Lake.

After filling up thus for their second time of the all-day-long date, Jenney Halsey asked, “Now what can we do for some more fun?”

“We could talk about all that we know about the Garden of Eden,” said Flanders.

“Genesis chapter two indeed, boyfriend,” she said.

“Earth’s earliest days,” said Flanders.

“The paradise of the dispensation of innocence,” she said.

“The first dispensation of this world’s six-thousand years,” he said.

“How long did this first dispensation last, Flanders?” asked Jenney.  “How long did Adam and Eve get to live in the Garden of Eden?  How long did this paradise last before the two first people fell into sin?”

“The Bible does not say how long the dispensation of innocence lasted,” said Flanders.

“Even in this perfect environment Eve chose willingly to disobey God and fall into sin.  And Adam went and did the very same sin that she did.  That was the wrong fruit to be eaten from the wrong tree,” said Jenney.

“Satan came as a serpent in paradise,” said Flanders.  “Genesis chapter 3.”

“Surely Eve should have known that something was up with a snake coming up to her and starting to talk to her,” said Miss Halsey.  “God had not created snakes to speak human language.”

“The snake said, ‘Don’t believe God.  Believe me,’” summarized Flanders Nickels.

“And she listened to the Devil, and she came to disbelieve God and to believe the Devil,” said Jenney Halsey.

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“In other words, God had said to her, ‘Thus saith the Lord,’ and the Devil now asked her, ‘Yea, hath God said?’” said Flanders.  “She should have listened to God.”

“And Adam fell into the same temptation and into the same sin himself,” said Miss Halsey.

“And what did they say when God confronted them for their sin?” asked Flanders.

And Jenney said, “Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the serpent,”

“As it is written, Adam told God, ‘The woman whom Thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.’  And as it is written, Eve told God, ‘The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat,’” recited Flanders these two quotes from the Bible.

“Why, this snake in the garden beguiled Eve,” said Jenney.

“And you beguile me,” said Flanders in flirt.

“I am a beguiler girl, and the Devil was a beguiler snake.” said Miss Halsey.

“I like the way that you beguile me,” said Flanders.  “But I do not like the way that Satan beguiled Eve.”

“These two beguiles are different one from another,” said Jenney.  “They are opposites.”

“Your beguilement is the good definition in the dictionary—to divert.  You in your patriotic gymnastics leotard divert me from life’s problems.  And the serpent’s beguilement is the bad definition in the dictionary—to deceive.  The serpent deceived Eve and Adam into committing history’s first sin.”

“I beguile my boyfriend with wiles.  The serpent beguiled Eve with guile,” said the beguiler girl.

“Well put, woman!” said Flanders in great favor.

“I do not want to be like a fallen angel,” said Jenney in reference to this Lucifer.

“You are too much like a loyal angel to be compared to the Devil, O Jenney,” he praised her in sincere kudos.

“And I thank you for saying that, boyfriend,” said the good beguiler girl.

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The two then had responsive reading together through all of Genesis chapter two, and they talked all about the Garden of Eden therein in its twenty-five verses.  Flanders said, “Look in verses five and six, Jenney—life on Earth before rain ever happened.”

“Before Adam came, there was no man to plow and to plant and to take care of crops,” said Jenney.

“Look what God had instead in those days before rain,” said Flanders.

“A mist that went up and watered the ground,” said Jenney Halsey.

“And look here in verse nine—tress everywhere, beautiful and big and full of good fruit meant to be eaten,” said Flanders.

“And two special trees—the tree of life, which was not forbidden by God; and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, which was forbidden by God,” said the beguiler girl.

“And there was a river that went through the garden,”  said Flanders.  “One would think it to be the world’s first river.  Or maybe it was the first river that the first man did see.”

“Verses ten to fourteen, Flanders,” said Jenney.  “And see how this unnamed river turned into four named rivers.”

“The Pison River and the Gihon River and the Hiddekel River and the Euphrates River,” said Flanders.

“I already heard about the Euphrates River,” said Jenney,  “But other than in these verses I have never heard of the other three.”

“And look here in verse fifteen, O Jenney.  Adam had a job to do for the Lord,” said Flanders.

“Adam was responsible for taking care of this Garden of Eden,” said Jenney.

“I go to work for a living, and Adam went to work for a living,” said Flanders.

“Earth’s first job, and Earth’s first worker,” said Jenney Halsey.

“The world’s first workplace and the world’s first employee,” said Flanders.

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“Eve was not with Adam as his help meet yet then,” said Jenney.

“God was going to resolve Adam’s loneliness real soon after,” said Flanders.

“In the meanwhile, God delegated another work for Adam–indeed both a joy and a privilege for Adam,” said the beguiler girl.  “Verses nineteen and twenty.  I can see that God called upon Adam to give the names of all the animals for each animal in his species.”

“Not quite all the animal species,” said Flanders.  “Just the land animals and the sky animals did  he get to give names to.”

“Oh, I see now,” she said.  “To the beasts of the field, the cattle, and the fowls of the air,”

“The mammals and the birds,” said Flanders.

“And whatever name that Adam gave them, that they were officially to be called,” said the beguiler girl.  “Then God created Eve, Adam’s help meet.”

“Verses twenty-one to twenty-four,” said Flanders.  “God made Adam fall into a sound sleep.  Then God took out a rib from Adam’s chest and healed up the wound.  And God spoke His Word, and,

behold, this rib bone became a full-grown woman.”

“It is written, ‘And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh:  she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man,’” read the Christian girlfriend.

“And now the last verse,” said Flanders.

“Verse twenty-five,” said Jenney.

“They were both naked,” said Flanders with a wry look on his face.

“And they were not even ashamed,” said Jenney, a quizzical look all over her face.

“Pastor told me what that verse is saying here,” said Flanders.

“God is not for nakedness, as we understand it, for sure,” said Miss Jenney Halsey.

“Pastor told me that they were not bare, as such, bur rather that they were clothed, or covered, in God’s righteousness,” said Flanders.

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“Whatever attire this righteousness of God might have been, at least they were decent,” said Miss Halsey. “God is decent.”

Their Bible-reading done now, they then shared a prayer-meeting together now in the sand.  And Flanders let Jenney go first.  And she prayed out loud here in the sand:  “Dear Father in Heaven:  I thank You for having given me my boyfriend Flanders to end my loneliness.  He is a true Christian gentleman.  He is a loyal boyfriend who will not leave me for another woman.  He is ever-abounding with the Holy Ghost which so indwells him.  And yet he is not too good for me to refuse my much coquetry that I always seem to bring on our dates.  Only with a good and godly born-again Christian like Flanders can I fellowship and romance both at the same time.  You saw us read responsively from a chapter in the book of Genesis just a moment ago.  But how often have You seen us two reading responsively from all eight chapters of the book of The Song of Solomon?  Why, all the time!  I love to be the Shulamite girl speaking odes to Solomon, and Flanders loves to be Solomon speaking odes to the Shulamite woman.  And not only all that, Lord, the cute guy thinks that I am a cute gal in my precious gymnastics leotard.  That’s the kind of boyfriend that I need.  Thank You for how You had brought us together, and thank You for how You help keep us together. In Jesus’s name I pray.  Amen.”

Then Flanders prayed, also out loud here on his beach on the lake:  “Dear Father God:  I would like to go on and to thank You also for having given me my Jenney and for keeping us together these years since.  If if be Your will, I pray that You keep us together unto the time of the rapture.  Then my beguiler girl will be mine—and I will be hers—for eternity with You in Heaven.  What is my Jenney Penney Halsey?  She is “My Classy Girl,”  She is demure.  She is meek.  She is chaste.  She is benevolent.  She is ladylike.  She is gentle.  She is indeed Your daughter.  She is my beautiful beguiler.

And, by the way, she is one great gymnast!  I pray that You keep her in Your arms when she does her gymnastics tricks—both in her meets and in her training.  I have seen women gymnasts go down on the mat and get hurt.  It may be a young woman’s sport, but it is not without risks.  I pray You keep her in

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Your protective wings—both in her gymnastics and outside of her gymnastics.  In Jesus’s name I pray.  Amen.”

Then the beguiler girl said, “Let’s shoot off our firecrackers.”

And Flanders said, “Let’s eat dinner.”

“We can do both,” she said.

“We can make a bang of our supper,” he said.

“Ouch, Flanders.  That one killed me,” she said of his joke.

“I died with that one,” he said of his joke.

Then Jenney Halsey said, “Flanders, something feels wrong here with you for me all of a sudden.”

“I feel kind of funny myself,” he said.

“It feels like a badness,” she said, “a badness coming in from far away.”

“Like the Devil is nearby,” he said.

“Yeah,” she said.  “Like a demon or something.”

“It is getting worse,” he said.

“I see you nocking your Brass Arrow,” said Jenney.

“It may be time for me to go to work for God,” said Flanders.

Behold, a unicorn coming up to them from the woods.  It was a white unicorn with speckles and  spots of red and brown and black.  This white unicorn’s markings were much like that of an English Setter dog.  This unicorn then stopped advancing; he lowered his unicorn horn in challenge; and he said, “My name is ‘Setter.’”  Setter:  this name made sense for this English Setter like unicorn.

Bold in Christ, Flanders asked, “For what have you come unto me to disturb my date with my girlfriend now?”

“You came into my den and preached Jesus unto us unicorns,” said Setter.  “A more discreet

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believer would not dare come into a unicorn den in the name of Jesus.”

“Setter, I preach Jesus wherever I go,” said Flanders, strong in the Lord.  “I preach to unicorns and to those who are not unicorns equally.”

“You will not come into my den again, man of God,” said Setter.

“If my Lord bids me to, I shall come into your den again,” said Flanders.  “I must obey God rather than unicorn.”

“Do you actually believe what you told us?” asked Setter.

“I told you and your family many truths about Christ.  For which one do you wish to run me through with your unicorn horn, demon beast?”

“All of them,” said Setter.  “But one thing that you said especially.”

“Well, say it, unicorn,” demanded God’s archer.

“Flanders of God, you told us unicorns that your Christ is the only way to get to the real Heaven,” spat out Setter.  And having said this, the strong unicorn thrust his unicorn horn deep into the ground in a show of force and pulled it back out again.  And he brandished his unicorn horn before man and woman as a sword fighter might brandish his sword before an adversary.

“Flanders, I am afraid,” said Jenney Halsey.  “But I know that you will protect me.”

“Safety is of the Lord,” said Flanders.  “Proverbs 21:31, precious girlfriend.”

“Flanders, I came to run you through with my horn unto death today if I did not get what I came for,” said Setter.  “But now I wish to run your pretty woman friend through instead.”  And Setter turned to Jenney and looked down upon her where she stood.

Afraid and angry, Jenney rebuked this evil unicorn, saying to him, “’For a living dog is better than a dead lion,‘ mean Setter.  Ecclesiastes 9:4.”

“Saucy woman, what do you mean by that?” asked the speckled and spotted white unicorn.

“Just the way it sounds like, nasty unicorn,” said Jenney in sweetness of revenge.

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“Am I a dog?” asked the proud wicked unicorn.  The Bible did not speak well of dogs in the Old Testament.

Setter took one step forward toward Miss Halsey.  Miss Halsey took one step backward away from Setter.  In confrontation, Flanders stepped between girlfriend and unicorn enemy, and he drew back the bowstring of his Bronze Bow, and he aimed his arrow at the front of Setter, and he put the point of his Brass Arrow up against the throat of the unicorn.  “Setter, have you come to pick on an innocent girl?  Pick on someone your own size.”

“I have come for you to deny your words spoken in my unicorn den,” said Setter.

“Christ is still the only way to Heaven, Setter,” said Flanders.  “And I shall never deny that statement.  Such a truth as that is called both ‘eternal truth’ and ‘absolute truth.’  My Jesus is truth.

The Holy Bible is truth.”

“Little hunter, do you not know that with one swipe of my unicorn horn, I can very easily knock every last piece of your famous artillery from God quite out of your hands and spill it all down to the ground where you now stand?” challenged the offended unicorn.

Again the witness-warrior said, “The Lord Jesus Christ is the only way to Heaven.  It is written, O wicked Setter of the Devil, ‘Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life:  no man cometh unto the Father but by me.’  John 14:6.  Again it is written about Jesus the Saviour, ‘Neither is there salvation in any other:  for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.’  Acts 4:12.  Once again does the Word of God declare, ‘…, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved,…’  Acts 16:31.”

“Enough!” screeched the demonic unicorn.  And he passed his unicorn horn from left to right in a quick and experienced swipe of battle.  Even just a little bit more quick and a little bit more experienced in battles, Flanders pulled back his bow and arrows away from the unicorn horn, the arrow still nocked on the bowstring.  Setter missed.  All Flanders needed do now was to fire his arrow

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into the neck of the foe from Satan, and the demonic unicorn would fall down dead.

Defeated and fearful of death, Setter said, “Perhaps we need not shed the blood of war.”

To this, Flanders Nickels said, “I have seven pet saber-toothed tigers.  I hunt for a living, and they hunt for their sustenance.”

“I do not see such seven big cats,” said Setter.  He backed up from Flanders a good three steps, and he looked around from here on the sandy shore.

“They are all coming back,” said Flanders.

“I hear a quiet little thunder coming from the fields to the east,” said Setter.

“They are coming to get you,” said Flanders.

In bravado, the formidable unicorn said, “I can face seven saber-toothed tigers better than I can face the master of the seven saber-toothed tigers.”

“Go for it,” tested Flanders.

The beguiler girl said, “I see them coming now, boyfriend.”

“And I, as well,” said Flanders.

So, too, did Setter see them.  “Let us not fight, O man of God,” said the unicorn.  And in haste for his life, the evil Setter fled on foot as fast as he could run, his own hooves also making a quiet thunder here by the lake.

“Oh good,” said the beguiler girl, “the bad unicorn is gone.”  And the saber-toothed tigers came upon their master and pounced upon Flanders gently and adoringly as a good dog would to his doting and loving master.  And master and pets roughhoused together on the beach.  And the woman joined in.

And boyfriend and girlfriend resumed their date, the ever-welcome big cats now with them.  And they all nine of them had grilled out hamburgers and hot dogs and bratwursts for dinner.  And when night fell upon Flanders and Jenney, the full moon shone bright and white down upon them.  And the two lit up their sparklers and shot off their firecrackers as the saber-toothed tiger pets watched them in

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curiosity and amusement and incomprehension.  And then the beguiler girl petted Flanders’s tigers, and the big cats purred like little cats.  And then Jenney turned into her Country House down the road for the night, and Flanders turned into his Rural House here for the night.  And the big tigers turned in for the night in their stables near their master’s house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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CHAPTER IV

Jenney got together with her best friend Tracey in her third floor’s only room—a great big den of books—here in Jenney’s Country House.  Jenney was again in her patriotic American gymnastics leotard, and Tracey had on her brown leather boxing gloves in remembrance of the victory that she had in the ring today at the Brown County Arena.  Tracey, standing before a shelf full of Shakespeare plays, said, “So many classics that you have in your den, and yet you do not read them.”

“I do read lots about gymnastics, Tracey,” said Jenney.

“That makes sense, Jenney,” said Tracey.  “That you need to do.”

“And I read my Bible lots everyday,” said Jenney.

“That does not make any sense,” said Tracey.  “That you do not need to do.”

Jenney knew that her best friend was quite lost in her sins.  That was why she had just said what she said.  And, being unsaved, Tracey could not know any better than to truly think this way.  Patient with Tracey yet again for this snap at Christ as well, Jenney sighed and said, “You’ll change your mind about the Bible someday, Tracey.  I have hopes.”

“I’d rather read magazine articles from International Woman Boxer, Jenney,” said Tracey.

“Articles about Christy Martin and Sky Hosoya and Layla Ali,” said Jenney, who had learned

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about these women pugilists from Tracey.

“And articles about Tracey Index Title, too,” said Tracey.  “Let’s not forget about your best friend.  She’s also all over the magazines.”

“Yes.  Tracey Index Title,” said Jenney, admiring this woman fighter for her spunk and for her pride.

“Do you like what I did to the opponent in the ring today, Jenney?” asked Tracey.

“Oh yeah.  I did, Tracey,” said Jenney with an honest nod of her head.

“Was it fun for you to watch?” asked Tracey.

“You beat up the girl pretty bad,” said Jenney.  “And I am glad that you did.”

“It was even more fun for me than it was for you,” said Tracey.  “You could only see it happen.

But it was myself who got to do it.”

“And you did it to her with those boxing gloves that you still have on,” said Jenney.

“I worked her over,” said Tracey, “with these.”  And she held up her fists covered by her brown boxing gloves.

“That girl was a cheater,” said Jenney.  “She should have been disqualified.”

“I do not like cheaters in the ring,” said Tracey.  “So I went and put her to sleep.”

“Did the thumb of her glove that she poked into your left eye hurt, Tracey?” asked Jenney.

“The eyes are the most delicate organs of the human body,” said Tracey.  “How does my eye look now?”  She leaned her face toward Jenney’s face.

“It looks red,” said Jenney.

“It feels red,” said Tracey.

“How about that punch in the back of your head?” asked Jenney.  “I saw you fall right down on your hands and knees, but you got right back up.”

“Curses to that woman!” said Tracey. “The bell for round one had not even rung yet!”

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“That made me mad for you, Tracey,” said Jenney.

“Just think how mad that made me,” said Tracey.  “A boxing glove to the back of the head when a girl’s back is turned is, in my book, dirty fighting.”

“That should have been an automatic forfeit,” said Jenney.  “The fight had not officially started.”

“Well, Jenney, your best friend finished the fight for her.  I made her fall on her can,” said Tracey in gloating.

“Didn’t I also see her throw her elbow into your face?” asked Jenney.  “Did she miss?”

“She did not miss,” said Tracey.  “It crashed into my right cheek,  and it was her left elbow.”

“Is that allowed in the rule book?” asked Jenney.

“Only if it is ultimate fighting,” said Tracey.  “But my bouts are boxing and not ultimate fighting.”

“That was another cheating then,” said Jenney.  “I thought so.”

“The right side of my face stings and is numb yet from that elbow,” said Tracey.

“But her left cheek, I would bet, hurts her now more than does your right cheek,” said Jenney.

“My roundhouse right punched her in that left cheek, and that was the punch that knocked her out,” said Tracey.

“Good!  Serves her right,” said Jenney.

“She also threw a dirty kidney punch to my back,” said Tracey.

“I saw that, too,” said Jenney.  “I cried out real loud, ‘Foul!  Foul!’”

“My back hurt for a while, but she missed my kidneys,” said Tracey.

“Her first miss in the fight,” said Jenney, facetious.

“Yeah, woman,” said Tracey.  “Her first miss.”

“You were prize fighting with your gloves, and she was prize fighting with everything other

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than her gloves,” said Jenney.

“Or one could say, ‘I was fighting with the rule book, and she was fighting against the rule book,’” said Tracey.

“I remember the last thing she did to you before you took her out of the fight,” said Jenney.

“I remember,” said Tracey.  “A woman does not forget about things like that last punch she threw at me.”

“It practically violated your womanhood,” said Jenney.

“I might want to bring forth children into the world someday,” said Tracey Title.

“It was a blow below the belt,” said Jenney.

“And it was an uppercut,” said Tracey.

“If you had been a guy, you would have been the worse off,” said Jenney.

“That low blow definitely makes me glad that I am a woman,” said Tracey.

“You should have seen the look in your eyes, Tracey,” said Jenney.  “As the saying goes, ‘If looks could kill,’”

“I wanted to go and bite her ear off,” said Tracey.

“Mike Tyson already did that to Evander Holyfield,” said Jenney.

“So I went ahead and did the next best thing,” said Tracey Title.

“Roundhouses into her face,” said Jenney.  “Lots of lefts and lots of rights.”

“And not one of them missed,” said Tracey.

“You knocked her clear back from the one corner of the ring to the opposite corner of the ring on her feet with all those punches,” said Jenney.  “Way to go, girl!”

“And then she fell back against the ring post, and her knees buckled, and she slid down upon the canvas on her backside, and she did not move,” said Tracey.

“I saw that her eyes were open where she was lying,” said Jenney. “But I could tell that she did

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know where she was and did not know what happened to her.”

“The referee counted her out,” said Tracey.  “And I was declared the winner by knockout.”

“Punching Judy,” said Jenney. “What a name for a woman boxer like herself.”

“Five feet eleven inches tall and one hundred five pounds of woman,” said Tracey.  “What a form so bad for prize fighting.”

“The woman was a tree,” said Jenney.

“And a beanpole,” said Tracey.

“Did you hear what the referee said after he raised your arm in victory, Tracey?” asked Jenney.

“Yeah, Jenney.  He announced to the whole crowd that Punching Judy was indefinitely suspended from women’s boxing,” said Tracey.

“Punching Judy never came to in time to hear him say that,” said Jenney.

“And it was these gloves with which I did to her that which I did,” said Tracey.

“Are they comfortable to have on for you, Tracey?” asked Jenney.

“Yes.  I would say that they are.” said Tracey.

“Kind of how my gymnastics leotard is for me,” said Jenney.

“But now my hands are getting hot in them here in the house,” said Tracey.  “I think that I will take them off.”  And she took off her brown boxing gloves and set them on the reading table of this den and flexed her hands, enjoying now their freedom from covering.  And she said, “This makes my hands feel good, too—to feel air again after such a work I did do today.”

“We best friends get together the most up here in my den,” said Jenney.

“I’m glad that you let me read your books,” said Tracey.

“You are a reader,” said Jenney.  “You love the classics that I have up here.”

“I do not have my own little library as you do here, Jenney.” said Tracey.  “But I always remember what you told me,”

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“Tell me what I tell you,” said the beguiler girl.

“My books are your books,” said Tracey their saying.

“I’ve got a new book that I’ve got to show you, Tracey,” said Jenney.  “This book is so good that I cannot say ‘My book is your book’ with this.”

“It must be the Bible,” said Tracey.

“They must be the Bible,” said the beguiler girl.

“It?  They?” asked Tracey.  “Which one is it?”

“Both, Tracey,” said Miss Halsey.

“Do show me this, or these, Jenney,” said Tracey.

“It, or they, are in front of my west dormer window,” said Jenney.

“Your favorite part of this den,” said Tracey.

“Follow me, O Tracey.  You’ve got to see,” said Jenney Halsey.

And the girls came up to a narrow bookcase of two shelves on the wooden floor just below the dormer window.  This bookcase measured one foot wide and two feet high. Tracey said, “I see ten little boxed sets of books—five on the top shelf and five on the bottom shelf.  The books are hardcover books.  And some of these boxed sets have only one book in them to fill them up.  Some of these boxed sets have lots of books in them to fill them up.  And these books themselves are very small or medium, but none real large.”  Tracey then looked back at Jenney, and she asked, “You call this the Bible?”

“It was a gift from Flanders for the anniversary of the day he asked me, ‘Will you be my girlfriend?’ and I said, ‘Yes!’” said the beguiler girl.  She went on to explain her most unique King James Bible that covered two book shelves:  “The Holy Bible consists of ten separate sections from cover to cover.  This Holy Bible  of mine right here goes and makes volumes, or boxed sets, out of each section of the ten sections.  And each hardcover book in each volume is the whole book in the regular single book of the Bible.”

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“This top little book shelf says, ‘The Old Testament—The History of the Jewish Nation,’” said Tracey Title.  “And this bottom little book shelf says, ‘The New Testament—The Story of Jesus Christ The Saviour,’”

Jenney Halsey then began to tell Tracey more thoroughly about the ten sections of books in the canon of Scripture most uniquely with this unique collection of volumes:  She picked up the first boxed set of books and she read the title thereon:  “The Books of the Law.”  Jenney said, “This is also called ‘The Pentateuch,’ Tracey.”  And she read from the spines of the five books therein the titles of the five books of the law that began the Holy Bible:  “Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy.”

Setting down this volume, Jenney then picked up the next volume, or boxed set of hardcovers.  And she showed it to Tracey.

Tracey read,  “The Books of History,”  Then she said, “I see twelve books of history in this box.”

And Jenney read the titles of these next books in the Bible:  “Joshua, Judges, Ruth, I Samuel, II Samuel, I Kings, II Kings, I Chronicles, II Chronicles, Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther.”

“The Bible is also a history book, I can see,” said Miss Title.

Then Jenney put this volume of books back in the shelf and did take out next boxed set.  “The Books of Poetry,” read she the title of this volume.  “Five books.”  And she showed it to her best friend.

Tracey read, “Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, The Song of Solomon.”

“My favorite part of the Good Book,” said Jenney.

“Are they all poems in them?” asked Tracy.

“Not poems as we know them,” said Jenney.

“Do they rhyme?” asked Tracey.

“They do not rhyme,” said Jenney.

“Neat,” said Tracy.

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Then the beguiler girl put away this boxed set and took out the next boxed set.  This one was

entitled, “The Books of the Major Prophets,” and they numbered five books within.

Tracey read out loud these names of these books:  “Isaiah, Jeremiah, Lamentations, Ezekiel, Daniel.”  Then Tracey said, “I heard of these guys.”

Next, Jenney Halsey put away this boxed set and took out the next boxed set, and she read this collection’s title, “The Books of the Minor Prophets.”

Tracey looked into this volume of books, and she said, “Twelve.  Twelve of the littlest books that I have seen yet today in your spread-out Bible.”

And Miss Halsey recited the names of these minor prophet books:  “Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Zechariah, Malachi.”

To this Tracey said, “I never heard of these guys, Jenney.”

“Even Jonah?” asked Jenney.

“I did hear of Jonah,” said Tracey.  “But none of the others.”

Jenney then put this volume back in the shelf.  This first shelf done, the Christian woman then began the second shelf.  And      she pulled out the first boxed set of this shelf.  “The Books of the

Gospels,” read Jenney.

“There are four of them,” said Miss Title.

“You knew that, Tracey,” praised Jenney.

“I do know some things about the Bible,” said Tracey.

And Miss Halsey said, “Matthew and Mark and Luke and John,” the four gospel books of the Bible.

Next, the born-again believer put this away and took out the next one.  It read, “The Book of the History of the Early Church.”

“One volume, one book.” said Tracey.

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“The book of Acts,” said the beguiler girl.  “Pastor’s favorite book.”

Then Jenney put this back and took out the next one.  This volume of boxed books was entitled “The Books of the Pauline Epistles.”

“Who is this ‘Pauline?’“asked Tracey in her simplicity.  Jenney Halsey laughed out loud, and her best friend laughed with her.

And Jenney explained, “Not ‘Pauline,’ silly, but ‘Paul.’”

“Oh.  ‘Pauline,’ must mean ‘of Paul.’” said Tracey now understanding.  “Goofy me.”

“Thirteen books,” said Jenney.  “And she read out loud the titles of these books of Paul:  “Romans, I Corinthians, II Corinthians,  Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, I Thessalonians, II Thessalonians, I Timothy, II Timothy, Titus,  Philemon.”

Next, the Christian lady put this box back in the shelf and did take out the next box from the shelf.  Tracey looked and read this title, “The Books of the General Epistles.”

“Eight general epistle books,” said Jenney Halsey.

“That must mean that Paul did not write them,” said Tracey.

“Well said, Tracey,” said Jenney.  And Jenney said the names of these books before her now, “Hebrews, James, I Peter, II Peter, I John, II John, III John, Jude.”

“Why this book and this book have only part of one page each!” said Tracey of the books of II John and III John.

“God says much in little,” Jenney did praise the Good Book’s Author.  And she put this volume back and took out the last boxed book.

“The Book of Prophecy,” read Tracey.  “Revelation.”  Then she said, “Again now, one boxed set of books with only one book, Jenney.”

“Eschatology,” said the Christian woman.  “Only good things that await me as a born-again believer.”

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“Eschatology,” said Tracey.  “Is that another word for prophecy?”

“Not so much,” said Jenney.  “But right now it is prophetic.”

“What does it say?” asked Tracey.  “What is it about?”

“Eschatology is prophecy about end times events and what comes after,” said Jenney.

“When does this prophecy of eschatology start?” asked Tracey.

“Eschatology starts for me with the rapture,” said Jenney.  “And for me, after my happy rapture, things go and get even better.  That’s because I am a born-again Christian.”

“I am not a born-again Christian,” said Tracy.  “Is this eschatology going to be good for me?”

“No, Tracey.  For you eschatology starts out really, really bad, and it gets much worse,” preached Jenney from the heart.

“I heard of the rapture from you before.  Does this eschatology say that I do not get to be raptured, because I am not a born-again believer?” asked Tracey.

“Uh huh,” said Miss Halsey.

“What happens to me then?” asked Tracey.

“You will be left behind to face Earth’s darkest hour, the Tribulation, when God’s wrath is unleashed on a Christ-rejecting world,” said Jenney Halsey in compassion and frankness for her lost best friend.

“I don’t like to hear that, Jenney,” said Tracey, hurt.

“It gets worse for you after the tribulation ends,” preached the Christian woman.

“It sounds to me that the only thing worse than the Tribulation on Earth is the fires in Hell.” said

Tracey.

‘Uh huh,” said Miss Jenney Halsey.

“That’s what comes after for me.  Isn’t it, Jenney?” asked Tracey.

“My prayers for your soul will never end, Tracey,” said Jenney.  “Not until I can get you good

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and saved.  I cannot rest in my heart until it is well with your soul.”  She then held up this book of Revelation, the last book of the Bible, and then she put it back onto the second shelf.

“Proffery will protect me,” said Tracey.  “He likes me and does not want anything bad to happen to me.”

Proffery was her boyfriend, an all-star wrestler, and indeed big and powerful even among professional wrestlers.  His full name was Proffery Rule Coins, and he was the Intercontinental Wrestling champion, and he had the big gold belt to prove it.

“Can even Proffery protect you from the Devil, Tracey?” asked Jenney.

“I remember that day we first met,” said Tracey, evading an answer and falling into reminiscence.  “We were both in the first row of chairs at ringside, watching the much-publicized Muhammad Ali-Antonio Inoki bout in the ring.  Ali was the heavyweight boxing champion at the time, and Inoki was the heavyweight wrestling champion at the time.  And everyone wondered:  ‘Which was the better fighter in the ring?  A boxer or a wrestler?’  This inter-sports fight was supposed to answer that question for its spectators.  I heard a boorish man’s voice next to me yell, ‘Go, Inoki!’  I thought to myself, ‘A dumb wrestling fan speaks.’  I did not turn to look at him.  But I got even,  I went and yelled, ‘Go, Ali!’  I am a woman boxer.  I chose to root for the boxer, of course.  And the fight was a dud.  Inoki, who had trained for this bout by having people slug him in the stomach, ended up always sliding down on the canvas so as to not get hit by Ali in the head.  Inoki pursued his wrestling down there and would not stand up on his feet.  And Ali could not get a clean shot down upon him with his gloves.  The famous fight was a dud.  And everybody was disappointed.  And the age-old question about the ring was still unanswered.

Then I heard that same man next to me, whom I presumed to be a boor, say to me, ‘Too bad, young lady.’

And I said, ‘Yeah, sir.  Too bad.’

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Then I turned to look at him.  Whoa, Jenney, what I saw was an Apollo of a man!  He looked like a Roman god.  He was tall, strong, and handsome.  And his hair was long and straight and blond.

And his arms could lift a car, for sure.  He studied my face for a short while in silence and in admiration, and then he said to me, ‘Whoa, girl!  An Athena of a woman sits next to me!’  This cute hunk called me a Greek goddess!  He then told me that he was a professional wrestler, and I quickly changed my mind about wrestlers, and I suddenly approved of all-star wrestlers.  And I told him that I was a woman boxer, and he heartily and honestly said about that, ‘I like that, young lady.’  And Proffery and I have been boyfriend-and-girlfriend ever since.”

“I worry for you, Tracey,” said Jenney here in the den.  “You two get into such bad fights with each other.”

“But we have lots of greats times together, too, O Jenney,” Tracey quickly said.

“I still care for the both of you,” said Jenney.

“Yeah,” said Tracey.  “I thank you for that, Jenney.  It seems that the only thing more heated than mine and Proffery’s agreements are mine and Proffery’s disagreements.”

“What happened between you two the other day?” asked Jenney.  “You and Proffery were over for coffee at my Country House, and you two were not talking to each other the whole while.  You two talked only to me.”

“We fight like cats and dogs.  I admit that,” Tracey Title said.  “Proffery and I did have a big fight just before we two came over here.  But I do not always lose in our fights together on our dates.”

“Was it bad?” asked Jenney.

“Kind of,” said Tracey.  “We agreed to go out walking together on our date that day.  He said, ‘Let’s walk down the Fox River Trail.’  I said, ‘Let’s walk down the East River Trail.’  Feelings were hurt.  Words were said.  One thing led to another.  And I hauled off and slugged Proffery as hard as I could in his nose.  You should have seen how bad his nose began to bleed, Jenney.  Yet, being a ‘macho

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man,’ my boyfriend began to laugh.  He did not hit me back.  I am still very glad for that.  And I was so sorry for what I did.  I apologized on my knees before him, and he forgave me.  And after a while his nose stopped bleeding.  But he was still mad.  So was I.”

“Did anything happen between you two today?” asked Jenney.

“Nothing really happened today,” said Tracey, avoiding a direct answer.

“Your face looks pale and not well,” said Jenney.

“I feel pale and not well right now, Jenney,” said Tracey.

“You two had another fight.  Didn’t you?” asked Miss Halsey.

“We did, Jenney.  But that was yesterday.  And yesterday is done.  Now it is today,” said Tracey.

“Something real bad happened this time.  Didn’t it?” asked Jenney.

“We—Proffery and I—sometimes fight even like dragons,” confessed Miss Title.

“Tell me what happened,” said Jenney.

“I can tell you, Jenney.  And I should tell you,” said Tracey.  “What happened was that we two decided to go out to eat for dinner.  I said, ‘Let’s go to Burger King.’  And he said, ‘Let’s go to McDonald’s.’  Again our disagreement got worse and exploded into violence.  It happened so fast.

The Devil made it worse.  And this time it was the worst fight of all between me and Proffery.”

“Did you do anything to him?” asked Jenney.  Tracey shook her head.  “Did he do anything to you?” asked Jenney.  Tracey nodded her head.

And Tracey went on to tell all to her best friend:  “Proffery grabbed my head and my neck in his powerful arms, and he squeezed me into unconsciousness.  It was one of his wrestling moves that he performed on other all-star wrestlers in the ring.  When I woke up an hour later, there he was, kneeling beside me and saying over and over, ‘I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.’

And I said, ‘I forgive you, O Proffery.’”

“That sounds positively like a sleeper hold that he put on you, Tracey!” said Jenney.

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“Yes, Jenney.  Proffery had put a sleeper hold on me, and I did pass right out in his arms,” confessed Tracey.

“Tracey, Jesus loves you and Proffery.  He does not want you to fight like this.  He can bring peace to you two in your dating life if you ask Him to save your soul,” pleaded Jenney.

“You and Flanders never fought like I and Proffery always fight.” said Tracey.

“Jesus makes the difference,” said Jenney.

“I am beginning to wonder about my life,” said Tracey.

“Do wonder, O friend,” said Jenney in compassion.  “Jesus died for your sins.”

“He did,” agreed Tracey.

“Proffery never died for your sins,” said Jenney.

“He did not,” agreed Tracey.

“And this same Jesus rose again,” said Jenney.

“I do believe that He did,” said Tracey.

“Would you consider Jesus right now?” asked Jenney.

“I will consider Jesus,” said Tracey.  “But not right now.  But definitely later.”

“Do you promise?” asked Jenney.

“Later,” said Tracey.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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CHAPTER V

The beguiler girl and her boyfriend were on another date here in her Rural Gymnasium.  And right now they were in her mezzanine, standing before a medium-sized wooden green bin with a lid and hinges.  Her timber wolves were out in the yard playing wolf games.  “I promised you that I would show you my ‘treasure chest,’ today and what I have in my treasure chest,” said the beguiler girl.

“And for me now gets to be the time,” said Flanders.

“I never showed anybody else this before,” said Jenney.  “But I’ve just got to show you, Flanders.”

“Ooo.  I can’t wait,” said Flanders.

“It is all about Olga Korbut,” said the beguiler girl.

“Olga Korbut, your favorite gymnast,” said Flanders.  “She was cute.”

“It is all from the 1972 Olympics in Munich, Germany,” said Miss Halsey.

“She cried after a disappointing trick, and all the world cried with her,” said Flanders.

“Poor Olga,” said Jenney Halsey.

“I bet that Miss Korbut racked up a lot of medals anyway despite that in those Summer Olympics that year, Jenney,” said Flanders.

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“Oh yeah.  She did.  She so did,” said the beguiler girl.  “Olga won for Russia four gold medals and two silver medals.”

“And she successfully performed a gymnastics trick never done before in international competition,” said Flanders.  “I saw it on TV, and I marveled.  Women gymnasts were pretty good back in those old days.”

“’The Korbut Flip’ they called it afterwards,” said Jenney.

“Miss Korbut did it on the uneven parallel bars,” said Flanders Nickels.

“She was standing up upon the high bar.  Then she performed a backward flip.  Then she re-grabbed the bar.  It was amazing.  And it looked risky.  All the rest of the world marveled, too, Flanders.  And when I saw it on TV long after for my first time, I marveled greatly above all.  Now I do the same thing in my meets.”

“How old do you suppose is Miss Korbut now?” asked Flanders.

“She was born on May 16, 1955 in Grodno, Belarus, Soviet Union,” said the beguiler girl.

“That makes her too old for gymnastics tricks now,” said Flanders.

“Her full name was ‘Olga Valentinovna Korbut,’” said Jenney.  “Her dad was ‘Valentin,’ and her mom was ‘Valentina.’  Her nickname was ‘the Sparrow from Minsk.’  In those 1972 Olympics, where she thrived and won all of those medals, she stood only five feet tall and weighed only eighty-four pounds.”

“A pixie!” said Flanders.

The beguiler girl then reached down her hands and set them on the closed lid of her wooden green bin, and she said, “As you know, Flanders, I am Olga’s greatest fan.”

“Even despite the fact that she was doing her tricks long before you came around,” said Flanders.

“I was not born until after the Munich Summer Olympics,” said Miss Jenney Halsey.

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“I, also,” said Flanders.

“Well, to make a long story short, I have stuff in this green bin,” said the beguiler woman.

“Could it be Miss Korbut stuff?” asked Flanders.

“It is indeed Olga stuff,” said Jenney.

“Don’t keep your enamored boyfriend waiting,” said Flanders.

And the beguiler woman opened up the lid, and they both looked down into it.  “Behold my treasures from Olga!” declared Miss Halsey.

This green bin looked too big for its treasure.  Flanders saw three keepsakes down in there and lots of empty space.  Yet Flanders was spellbound in avid curiosity.  He dared not reach down and grab something in his hands that his gymnast girlfriend might not want him to touch.  But his girlfriend told him, “Reach down and grab something and pick it up, boyfriend.”

He went ahead and reached into the green bin and pulled out a white garment.  He grabbed a hold of its shoulders and held it out in front of them.  Behold a very small women’s white gymnastics leotard with long sleeves and with a red band around the neckline.

“Olga’s own gymnastics leotard,” declared Jenney Halsey.

“Whoa!” said Flanders in awe.

“Reach down now into my treasure chest and pick up another of my treasures, O Flanders,” said the beguiler woman.

He set the girls’ gymnastics leotard back into the green bin and picked up a second treasure and drew it out from the bin and held it up in the air in his right hand.  It was a photograph of Miss Korbut dressed in this very same gymnastics leotard from back in her days.  It was signed by Miss Korbut herself at the bottom corner:  “To my friend Jenney.  Keep doing the tricks.  You fan, Olga.”

“Wow, Jenney!” said Flanders.  “Miss Korbut is now your fan!”

“Look at the back and see what else she wrote to me,” said Jenney Halsey.

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He looked at the back of the picture and did read in magic marker letters. “To Jenney, a twenty-first century gymnast,  from Olga, a twentieth century gymnast.”

“Miss Korbut knows you personally!” he then said.

“Now reach down into my treasure chest and pick out my last special little treasure, O Flanders,” said Jenney.

He put the autographed picture back down into the bin and did take out a third souvenir so especial.  “I see yarn,” he said.

“Yellow yarn,” she said.

“Several strands of loose yellow yarn,” he said.

“The very yarn with which she tied up her hair to do her tricks in the 1972 Olympics, Flanders,” proclaimed the beguiler woman.

“Miss Korbut’s very own yarn,” said Flanders.

“And now it is my very own yarn,” said Jenney Penney Halsey.

“That is real neat, woman,” he said.  And he held it in his hands for a while; then he set it back down into the bin of treasures.

“Well, Flanders.  Now you know all about my secret,” said the beguiler.  And she shut the bin.

“Would you go and do the Korbut Flip for me on your uneven parallel bars, O Jenney?” he asked.

“The honor would be your girlfriend’s,” said Jenney.

“And the pleasure would be your boyfriend’s,” said Flanders.

And they went down to the gymnasium floor, and the beguiler woman did the Korbut Flip for Flanders on the uneven parallel bars.

Wanting more, Flanders said, “Do some more tricks for me.  Start on the floor routine.  You do them, Jenney, and I will tell you what they are all called.  I know my woman’s gymnastics.”

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“I saw you up there in the mezzanine a few times, reading my books,” said the beguiler lass.

“I’ve been studying and memorizing and learning,” he said.

“All right, boyfriend-in-Christ, we will see how much you know about all that I know about my profession,” said Jenney.

“You do the gymnastics tricks, and I will tell you what you gymnasts call them,” repeated Flanders.

“You’re on,” said the confident Jenney.

And they came up to the floor routine corner of her Rural Gym, and she stepped out onto the mat.  He stood there in the far corner off of the mat.  And his beguiler lady began a floor routine for her boyfriend—this time to test him and not to tempt him.

The professional lady gymnast started out by performing a back flip with a half-twist and then going on to do a front flip also with a half-twist.  “Now, boyfriend.  What is all that called?” she challenged him.

“That is called a ‘half-in half-out,’” he said.

“Tuck or pike or strait, Flanders?” asked the gymnast woman.

“Tuck,” he said.  “You brought your knees up toward your chest.”

“You’re right, Flanders,” she said with surprise.  She then went on to leap up off of the mat with both of her feet and to flip in the air and to come back down upon both of her feet.  “Now what is that move called, if you know, Flanders?” she asked.

“That is called a ‘punch front,’” he told her.

She went on to ask him, “Tuck, pike, or layout position?”

And he said, “Pike, because your knees were straight, and your body was bent.”

“Boyfriend, you know your words!” praised his gymnast star.  She then went on to perform a simple somersault in the air.  “Do we gymnasts call this a somersault, O Flanders?” she asked in test.

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“No,” he said.  “You gymnasts call that a ‘salto.’”

She then did a backwards somersault in the air, doing two twists in the air as she did this.  “What was that, Flanders?” she asked.

“A double full,” he said.  She then did the same thing again, this time with three twists thus in the air.  “A triple full,” he said.

“Your guesses are all right,” she said.  She then performed a cartwheel with a half-twist to it.

“That was a roundoff,” he said.

After this, the gymnast girl performed a split with one leg forward and with one leg backward.

“Guess this one, Flanders,” said the woman.

“I would say that that was a front split,” he said.  She then jumped and spread both of her legs out to her sides.  “Straddle jump!” he said.

“Are you ready for my grand finale to this floor routine, Flanders?” she asked, standing now at one corner of the floor routine mat and looking off to the other corner of the floor routine mat.

“I can tell that now it is time for a tumbling pass,” he said in knowledge of the women’s floor routine.  And the beguiler gal ran, and she performed a forward double-flipping salto in a tuck.  “Double front,” he said.  “And you stuck your landing.”  A gymnast landing firmly on her feet in the last pass of a routine was said to ‘stick her landing.’  That Jenney had done. “You earned an ‘A’ for a grade on the floor routine test, Flanders,” she said.

Next, the beguiler girl came up to the uneven parallel bars in their corner of the gym.  The gymnast woman began by mounting the high bar, supporting her body upon that bar by her hands, and resting her hips upon that bar.  “Can you name this trick, Flanders?” she asked.

“That, Jenney, is called a front hip pullover,” he said.

She then went on to circle that high bar with her hips touching this high bar.

“That’s called a hip circle,” he said.

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She then circled this high bar again, but this time with her hips not touching this bar.

And he said, “This time it is a clear hip circle.”

Next, Jenney beguiled her boyfriend by swinging her body down to the lower bar, swinging around this lower bar, and extending her legs at each side.

“Ah, the straddle swing,” he said.

Then Jenney Penney Halsey went ahead to do a most provocative trick on the uneven parallel bars to show off herself to her boyfriend.  She grabbed the high bar once again, and she swung herself forward underneath the high bar, raised her legs up and over and past her head and behind herself to both sides of herself in the air.

“The takacha,” he said.  “The most evocative takacha, that can drive a man into a frenzy.”

“Did you like that, Flanders?” she asked.

“I want you, Jenney,” he said.

“You cannot have me,” she said.  “You are doing a test right now of gymnastics vocabulary.”

Then she finished off her bars routine with a double back salto with two twists, with one twist in each flip.

“That’s a double double,” he said.  “Also called a full-in-full-out.”

“Did I not land squarely on my feet and not take even one step when I landed, Flanders?” asked Miss Halsey.

“You stuck this landing as well, woman,” he said.  “All the judges look for that in uneven parallel bars finishes.”

“I give you an ‘A’  on your uneven parallel bars test, too, Flanders,” said Jenney Halsey.

Then she walked over to another corner of her Rural Gym, where the balance beam was.

To begin, the young woman ran up to the balance beam, flipped her body onto both hands upon the balance beam, and landed pertly upon both feet on the balance beam.

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“Back handspring,” he called out.

Standing sure upon the balance beam, Jenney then did a somersault in the air and landed squarely back on her feet on the beam.

“That’s another of those saltos,” he said.  He liked that word.

Miss Halsey then jumped up from the beam and arched her back and bent her legs backward, raising her legs toward her head.

“Sheep jump,” he said.

Jenney performed another jump on the beam, this time with her knees straight and with her body bent and with one leg straight out in front and with the other leg bent sharply back, with both knees together.

“Wolf jump,” he said.  “Also called the fish jump.”

Then the professional woman gymnast performed a one-and-one-half somersault upon the beam.

“Somi-and-a-half,” said Flanders.  “Somi and salvo both mean the same thing.  I do not know which word I like the sound of better.”

Next, the beguiler girl sat down on the beam and spread out her legs downward at each side of the width of the beam.

“That is called a straddle split, Jenney,” he said.

Then she stood back up, and she jumped again, this time throwing her head back and bending her knees, one knee to the front, and the other knee to her back and raised toward her head.

“Ring leap!” he said.

Then she leaped again from this beam, but this time with one foot, and she swung one leg out horizontally, and she swung the other leg to the back.

“Split leap,” he did say.

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His girlfriend then leaped from the balance beam again, but this time she had her front leg bent and her back leg straight.

“Stag jump,” he said.

Then she placed her hands sideways upon the beam, one hand after the other hand, and she moved her legs up and back down upon the other side.

“Cartwheel,” he said.

‘The dismount comes next, Flanders,” she announced.

“Remember, Jenney.  Stick the dismount,” he told her.

And Miss Halsey finished off her balance beam routine with a backward double-flipping salto, quite sticking her dismount.

“Quite the double-back,” he said to her.

“’A’ for today’s balance beam test, Flanders,” praised the professional woman gymnast.

And lastly, the girl beguiler walked over to the corner of her Rural Gymnasium where the vault area was.

“Ah, the horse, of course,” said Flanders.

At once the ostentatious woman gymnast ran down the runway toward this horse as fast as she could run, and she did a cartwheel with a half twist onto the springboard.  In the middle of this, Flanders said, “the Yurchenko.”

And right after that she did a backward double-flipping somersault with a full twist in the first flip.  As this was taking place, Flanders said, “Full in.”  And she stuck her landing to Flanders’s satisfaction.

“There,” said Miss Halsey, breathing heavily now from all of this showing off to her boyfriend.

“Don’t women gymnasts have to do two vaults in the vault exercise,?” asked Flanders.

“I’ll do two vaults then, boyfriend,” said Jenney.  “But only because you are my boyfriend.”

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“And only because you are my girlfriend,” he said in flirt.

And she ran down the runway at top speed again toward the vaulting table.  And this time she performed another Yurchenko onto the horse and another backward double-flipping somersault off of the horse, but this time her vault was with a full twist in the second flip.  And she stuck her landing most adeptly once again for Flanders.

“A full out, woman,” he said, well-pleased with her show and satisfied with her tricks.

“Your vaulting test, Flanders,” she said, breathless, “another ‘A.’”

“Can I give you a romantic hug?” he asked his beguiler lass.

“We women gymnasts are really built.  Aren’t we, Flanders?” she asked.

“And your patriotic gymnastic leotard with yourself in it makes your guy a little frisky for you,” he said in coquetry.

“You mean a lot frisky, Flanders,” said the flirtatious gymnast girlfriend.

“Hug me already, woman,” he said.

And the lithe and supple and curvaceous beguiler girl threw herself into Flanders’s open arms, and she spread her arms around him, and they embraced.  And as they embraced, Jenney found herself raising the back of her right leg.  That was something that girls seemed to do in an embrace like this.

And Flanders in this hug found himself lifting his girlfriend up off of the ground.  That was something that guys seemed to do in a hug like this.  Then he set her back down on her foot.  And then she lowered her right leg back down to the ground.

“Whooo!” said Jenney.  “That was quite the hug that time, Flanders.”

‘We don’t go and hug like that a lot, Jenney,” he said.

“I liked it,” she said.

“Did I please my teacher in my tests this day, Miss Halsey?” he asked.

“You got a one hundred on all four tests, Flanders,” said the beguiler woman.

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Just then, from outside the Rural Gymnasium and from right next to the wall, there arose a dire baying of all of Jenney’s seven pet wolves.  Man and woman stopped and listened and spoke not for a moment.  Flanders asked, “Do they usually howl like that?”

“Only at night in the full moon,” she said.

“But never in the daylight in the bright sun?” he asked.

“Never before,” said Miss Halsey.

Without another word, Flanders ran to the exit door and Jenney right behind him.  And Flanders opened one of the doors to look out to see what was the matter, and Jenney came out right after.

Behold, seven snarling timber wolves in a standoff against one dark black griffin.  The griffin took one look at Flanders, and he said, “My adversary, who troubles griffins in their griffin dens.”

“What is your name, O dark black griffin?” asked Flanders, holding his Bronze Bow in the air before him.

“My name is ‘Pitch,’” said the griffin.

Pitch, thought the woman to herself.  That made sense; he was pitch black in color.  But she trembled in his presence.

Flanders said, “For what have you come, threatening my girlfriend and her wolves?”

“I have come not to contend against girlfriend and wolves, but to contend with you, O Flanders Nickels of the Lord,” said the griffin Pitch.

“Tell me your grievance now, or go away and do not return,” said Flanders.  The great archer of God calmly drew a Brass Arrow out of his Deerhide Quiver and did not yet nock this arrow in his bowstring.

“Boyfriend,” said Jenney.  “Don’t you think that you ought to nock your arrow now?”

“I do not sense this contention to be unto blood,” said Flanders.

“He could kill all of us all by himself,” said Jenney Halsey.

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“To do that, he would have to get past God first,” said the artillery hunter.

“My grievance, O man of God, is what you’ve been telling all of us griffins in our griffin dens the other day,” said Pitch.

“I’ve been many places and in many homes whose families let me in, and I have spoken many things about Jesus,” said Flanders.  “What did I say in your griffin den that set you off?”

“You told all of us that Jesus Christ died for our sins and rose again, O enemy of devils,” said Pitch.

“The Gospel, Flanders,” said Jenny, glad to hear such Biblical truth right now with this fell and evil beast before her.

“Also known as ‘the saving Gospel’ and ‘the Gospel of salvation,’” declared Flanders in front of this demonic griffin.

“I want you to take back right now what you said to us that day,” demanded the griffin Pitch.

Instead, Flanders went on to preach further in unto the griffin, saying, “Another way to define the Gospel is ‘the death and burial and resurrection of the Lord Jesus.’”

In great seething rage, Pitch began to spit burning saliva out from where he stood.  Some drops landed upon Miss Halsey’s legs, and they burned like acid upon her flesh.

“I require that you not hurt my girlfriend anymore with your acid,” said Flanders.  In his own righteous anger, he went ahead and nocked his arrow upon his bowstring.  He did not aim the arrow.

“What I did from inside my beak, I can do worse from outside my beak,” threatened malicious Pitch.

“He looks like he could peck us all to death with his beak, Flanders,” said the girl.

And the griffin stopped spitting in raging temper.  But he looked directly upon Flanders with death for Flanders intensely written in his eyes.

Yet, Flanders went on to say, strong in the Lord, “It is written, ‘For though I preach the gospel,

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I have nothing to glory of:  for necessity is laid upon me; yea, woe is unto me, if I preach not the gospel!’  I Corinthians 9:16.”

“I curse the Gospel!” said Pitch.  “And we griffins curse you!”

“In cursing the truth of the Gospel and in cursing a child of God like myself, you are really cursing God.  And no man and no griffin can curse God and not incur the wrath of the Lord,” said Flanders.

“Death to all Christians who preach that terrible Gospel!” declared Pitch.  And he said this time, “I will spare your life and the life of your girlfriend and the life of your girlfriend’s seven wolves if you will say that you are sorry for having preached the Gospel to us griffins that day.”

Instead, Flanders said, “It is written, ‘For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ:  for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.’  Romans 1:16.”

In a show of force and in reprisal after this Word of God fired at him, Pitch unfurled his wings and made a great wind of flapping wings to blow against Flanders and his girlfriend where they stood.

The wolves gave forth whines.  Jenney put both arms around Flanders’s shoulders for stability where she stood.  Flanders kept his focus on God.

And Pitch said, “What do you think now, O mortal fellow?  What I can do with my wings with air, I can do more with my wings with physical battery.”

This time Jenney did not say anything.  Instead she looked upon her boyfriend’s steadfast countenance, and she found strength in God from this visage and from his stance.  Then Flanders went ahead and aimed his arrow–right between the griffin’s eyes.

A subtle and hidden fear came upon Pitch’s eyes now, with the Brass Arrow so close right now.  And in awkwardness, Pitch said to Flanders, “At least tell me that your little Gospel is not all truth.  I’ll never bother you again if you say that there is falsehood in that Gospel that you love to speak about.”

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Flanders went right out and laughed in scorn at this pitch dark griffin, and he said, “Pitch, Pitch, it is written, ‘But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed.’  Galatians 1:8.  Again it is written, ‘As we said before, so say I now again, If any man preach any other gospel unto you other than that ye have received, let him be accursed.’  Galatians 1:9.”

‘I give up!” said Pitch, overwhelmed.  “Let me say one last thing to you.”

The archer of God, keeping his artillery aimed at the evil griffin, said, “Say it now to me,”

“Go to the Devil!” cursed Pitch Flanders.  And Pitch began to back away from the man of God.

Jenney asked, “Flanders, could I sick my wolves on him now?”

“Sick your wolves on him now, Jenney,” said Flanders.

“Get him, boys!” said the wolves’ mistress.

And Timber and company quickly ran toward the backpedaling fearful griffin, and he ran for his life, and they chased him away, and he lifted up into the air and did escape.

After a while, they could no longer see the fleeing griffin who had escaped into the horizon.

And Jenney said, “That was a close call.  I’m so glad he’s gone now for forever.”

‘He’s gone now,” said Flanders.  ‘But he is not gone for forever.”

“He’s coming back then?” asked Jenney.

“He’ll come back,” said Flanders.

“He will surely flee battle again when he does come back,” said Jenney.

“When he does come back, he will fight to the death,” said Flanders.

“Surely it will be to his death, Flanders,” said Miss Halsey.

“Or it will be to my death, Jenney Halsey,” said the wise archer for God.

And Jenney clearly saw the peril of her boyfriend’s ministry as hunter of demonic beasts for the Lord.  And she said no more for now.

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CHAPTER VI

The beguiler girl and her boyfriend Flanders were riding her chariot driven by her pet wolves together through the countryside of Wisconsin on another date.  They rode up hills and down hills.  They rode on even ground and on uneven ground.  They rode through fields and through forests.  They rode through creeks and around lakes.  They rode under the sun and under the clouds.  “Weeeee!” said Jenny again in delight of speed.

Flanders also said, “Weeee!”  He loved riding with her in this chariot.

Coming out onto a field of tall field grass, the beguiler girl said, “Right up ahead are the big sand dunes, Flanders.”

“Sand dunes?” he asked.

“A sand dunes a whole acre large at that, Flanders,” she said.

“Will the wheels get stuck in the sand?” asked Flanders.

“Wisconsin sand dunes are not like the bottom of the parted Red Sea, Flanders,” she said.  “We will not get stuck in the sand.”

“Back then God went and took off the chariot wheels,” said Flanders.

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“God will not do that to us,” said Jenney.  “You and I are not Pharaoh and his army.”  Then she said, “We will not get stuck in the sand.  My wolves are too strong to let that happen.”

“Egypt had very many chariots.  You have only one chariot,” said Flanders.

“All the more reason why we will not get stuck in this sand dune coming up, Flanders,” said the beguiler gal.

“Maybe we should pray that God let us go across the sand dunes and not get stuck,” said Flanders.

“I can handle this chariot better than any man can,” bragged the beguiler lass.

“I see them now, right up ahead,” said Flanders. “A great dune of sands.”

“I’ll show you what I always do when my wolves and I come up to sand dunes in our rides,” boasted Miss Halsey.  And she said, “I make them go all the faster.  That way we do not get stuck in the sand.”

“Mush?” asked Flanders, skeptical about his girlfriend driver right now.

“Mush, boys!” commanded their mistress.  And the seven timber wolves ran now at breakneck speed.  And they came to the sand dunes.  And they began to race across it furiously.  Suddenly the two

riders felt the chariot descend a good foot-and-a-half straight down.  The platform upon which they both stood was now resting upon the ground.  And the wheels, still connected, were buried deep in the sand to both sides of where the two riders stood.  The wolves were suddenly not moving forward.  And the chariot was completely stopped.  “What happened?” asked Jenney with a humble grin.

“We got stuck in the sand dunes,” said Flanders.

“What should we do now, Flanders?” asked Miss Halsey.

“Maybe we could pray a little now, Jenney,” suggested Flanders, knowing that he was right all along.

“It’s never too late for a word of prayer, Flanders,” said the beguiler girl, knowing that she was

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wrong all along.

“Should I pray?” he asked.

“Better you than I,” said the embarrassed wolf mistress.  “I am not ready to say anything to my Heavenly Father now, after all of my braggadocio.”

“Dear God,” said Flanders.  “Would you get us out of this mess that we got ourselves in?”

“And I ask the same thing, too, God,” said Jenney.

Nothing seemed to happen.  Flanders said, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”  Certainty was in his voice.  And laughter was in his eyes at his girlfriend.

“Psalm 46:1,” said the daughter of God the reference to the verse that Flanders had just recited.

Then she said, “What do you think that God wants us to do now, Flanders?”

“He wants us to show our faith in God,” said Flanders.  “It is time to continue our ride through the countryside.”

She looked first to one side of the chariot, then to the other side of the chariot, and she said, “We’re still stuck a foot-and-a-half in the sand.”

“We must mush the wolves again, silly woman,” he said.

“Mush, good wolves?” she asked in sight and not in faith.

“Say it strongly and surely, Jenney,” he said to her in good counsel.  “Have faith in our God Who answers prayer.”

“Mush now, boys!” said the mistress firmly to her pets.  “Our God commands it!”

And the timber wolves pulled hard, got the chariot up out the sand, and proceeded forward, and they easily crossed the rest of the sand dunes back out onto the ground of field grass.

“I know what I need to do now,” said the Christian woman.

“I think that I know what it is,” said Flanders.

And she did it,  She said, “Thank You, Lord.” And Flanders said the same thing to God.

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And the two continued merrily on their ride through the countrysides.

After a while, the beguiler girl spoke and asked, “Are you thinking the same thoughts that I am right now, Flanders?”

“I was thinking about that day in which we first met,” said Flanders.

“I was, too,” she said.

“I was thirty-one years old,” said Flanders.

“I was sixteen years old,” said Jenney.

“Two years ago, girl,” said Flanders.

“My two happiest years with Christ,” said Miss Halsey.

“My two happiest years of my life,” said Flanders.

“It all started out so smoothly that first day, until that little accident,” said the beguiler girl.

“But all ended well,” said Flanders. “We’ve been going out together ever since.”

“We’ve been going steady,” said Jenney Halsey.

“Yes.  That’s what it is called, Jenney,” said Flanders.  “In fact you could say that we are going steady steady.”

“Steady steady.  Steady steadily.  Steady steadfastly,” said the beguiler girl testing words.

“One of the three,” said Flanders.

“My grammar is not so good as my gymnastics these days,” said the beguiler girl.

“Your gymnastics in those days were not so good as your gymnastics these days,” teased Flanders.

“My gymnastics in those days were not so good as my grammar these days,” she said.

“Your silly little accident,” he said.

“Trying to impress a real cute guy,” said the beguiler woman.

“I remember,” he said.  And he told his side of the story of their first date together:  “I was at the

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park with my seven big cat pets, and I was sitting at a picnic table in quiet time with God; and yet I felt lonely nonetheless.  I had my attaché case emptied and closed up on the ground beside myself.  And my attaché case stuff I now had spread out upon the whole top of the picnic table at which I was sitting.  The sun was out and bright.  The wind was a most pleasant zephyr.  And with my underlining pencil I was reading I John, one of my favorite books of the Bible.  This was my answer to life—worship of Jesus.  And yet I did still feel a pining loneliness. I did not need to ask God what I was wishing.  He knew.  And I knew.  But it did not look like I would find what I was looking for in this life.  Maybe God would bless me Up There with the only thing that He did not bless me with down here.”

“You wanted a girlfriend in your life so bad, Flanders.” said Jenney, knowing his true story.

“And God said in His Word to me lots of times, ‘The girl must be as holy even as yourself.’” said Flanders.

“What you wanted was a girlfriend-in-Christ,” said the beguiler girl.

“I wanted for myself a beautiful girlfriend in a beautiful outfit, and God wanted for me a born-again girlfriend who was living for Him,” said Flanders.  “I said to God, ‘Your will be done, O Lord,’ and God said to me, ‘I will grant you your request, My son.’”

“It all began happening for you with that verse in I John at your favorite picnic table of your favorite park,” said Jenney.  “I John 3:22.”

“It is written therein, O Jenney, ‘And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight,’” recited Flanders from memory.

In wisdom, Miss Halsey went on to preach this verse to her boyfriend who knew it so well:

“If a believer lives his life as God wills for him to live his life, then that believer can ask God for things, and God will give him those things.”

“I came to that verse, girl, and I read it and read it again and read it once more again.  And I underlined it.  And I wrote in the bottom margin of my Bible on that same page a comment of what this

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verse that spoke to me did say to me.  My comment in pencil said this—I still remember it word-for-word–’I love worshiping God above all other things which I do.  Maybe because of this He will give me a pretty girlfriend in life to worship God with me.’  And I prayed again for a Christian girlfriend there at the picnic table.

Then I heard singing.  Before looking up, I listened to this singing with my eyes still looking upon the grass of the ground from my prayer.  It was a girl’s singing.  And it was very pretty singing.

The voice seemed to be the voice of an older girl—maybe a teenager.  The song was a song about God.  It was a hymn.  It was ‘The Old Rugged Cross.’  And then I quickly looked up.  Behold, the most beautiful teenager girl I had ever seen!  Her face was like an angel’s face.  And what she had on was a girl’s real gymnastics leotard—with a pattern truly most honorably American.  Her eyes met mine, just as my eyes met hers, and she sang the chorus right then before me where I sat:

‘So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross,

Till my trophies at last I lay down;

I will cling to the old rugged cross,

And exchange it some day for a crown.’

 

It was for me ‘crush at first sight.’  This was no ordinary gal.  This gal was truly a golden-haired siren!

Her singing stopped.  An instant of silence followed.  And then the girl said, ‘Howdy, fine sir.’

‘Howdy, fine gal,’ I said.  I had never greeted anyone before with a ‘howdy.’.  But it sounded so

magical now that I was addressing this gymnast girl with it.

Then she said, ‘You look like a guy of God, sir.’

‘You can tell, miss?’ I asked.

‘Uh huh,’ she said.  “I see a Bible on your picnic table, and I saw your head looking down in prayer where you sit.’

‘I am that, miss.  A born-again believer,’ I said to her.

‘Sir, you look familiar.  I saw you before,’  she said.  Then she said, ‘You must be that famous

 

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bow-and-arrow hunter!”

 

‘Flanders Nickels, at your service, ma’am.’  I said to her.

‘You’re that great Christian!!’ she said to me.

‘”Great Christian”, I am not so sure of, miss,’ I said.  ‘”Christian,” I am more sure of.’

‘Do you maybe know who I am?’ she then asked me.

‘I never saw you before, but I sure wish now that I had,’ I said to her.

‘I’m a lady gymnast.’ she said.

‘I can see that,’ I said to her.

‘Oh yes.  My leotard gives that away,’ she said.

‘Are you a famous gymnast?’ I asked her.

‘Maybe not yet,’ she said.

‘What’s your name?’ I asked.  ‘If I heard your name, I could then maybe remember.’

‘I am Jenney Halsey, at your service,’ she said to me.

‘Jenney Penney Halsey?’ I asked.  ‘The Christian gymnast who tells all the other gymnasts about Christ?’

‘You do know me,’ she said.

‘I do, O Miss Halsey.  I never knew what you looked like before,’ I said.  ‘You win souls for God wherever you compete.’

‘Now that you know what I look like, Flanders, tell me—what do you think?’ she asked me.

“Now that I know, I have to say that you are the most beautiful gymnast I have ever seen, O Jenney!’ I said.  ‘Do you think anything about the famous archer before you now?’

‘He’s a hunk!’ she said.

‘Does the guy get the girl?’ he asked.

‘Does the girl get the guy?’ she asked.

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‘Yes!’ we both said simultaneously.

‘Does the soldier get to see his gymnast girl beguile him?’ I asked.

‘With what can a gymnast girl beguile her new boyfriend?’ she asked.

“By performing a Tsukahara off the horse!’ I said at once.

‘My new boyfriend knows his women’s gymnastics!’ she praised me.  “But I see no vaulting table in this park.’

‘You could do it for me off the grass, Jenney’ I said to her.

‘Better yet, I can do it for you off of this picnic table, Flanders,’ she said to me.

‘No, Jenney,’ I said.  ‘This picnic table must not be your horse.  It might not be safe to do a gymnastics trick on a picnic table in a park.’

‘But I can do it, Flanders,’ she said to me, stubborn and proud.

‘I don’t know, Jenney,’ I said.  ‘You are good, but no one is good enough to do the Tsukahara off the picnic table, and not wipe out and get herself hurt.’

‘I can do it for myself,’ she said.  I shook my head.  “I can do it for you,’ she said.  I shook my head again.  ‘I can do it for Christ,’ she said.  Again I shook my head.

‘You’re liable to fall upon your butt, Jenney,’ I warned her.

‘I instead shall land upon both feet, O Flanders Nickels,’ she said adamantly.  And she began to run right toward the picnic table where I was sitting.  ‘Look out, man of God.  Let me show you some stuff from the woman of God,’ she said.  I jumped up and fled from the picnic table and turned to look with most expected misgivings.

The Tsukahara off the horse was supposed to be a jump off the springboard, then a quarter turn onto the horse, then a push-off with the hands, then a back flip, then a stick on the landing.

Yet, this gal’s Tsukahara off the picnic table was a disaster right from the beginning.  She jumped off of the first bench, and the picnic table leaned down on that side into a rut in the earth.

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She lost her balance and her orientation in the air.  Her quarter turn onto the tabletop was instead no turn at all,  She completely missed on her push-off with her hands.  And her back flip was again no flip at all.  And then she came crashing down onto the other bench bottom-first right where I could still have been sitting.  Stunned, the woman gymnast rolled off of this bench and fell to the earth and lay there groaning in pain and quite dazed.  Then the picnic table rose back up again from that dip into the ground and was level once again upon the grass.

Afraid for her, I called out, ‘Miss Halsey, are you OK?’  Do you remember what you said that day in answer, Jenney?” he said in reminiscence.

“Yeah,” said Jenney.  “I asked, ‘Did I stick the landing, Flanders?’”

“Then you said three sentence fragments, one after the other and all the same,” said Flanders in remembrances.

“My tailbone.  My tailbone.  My tailbone,” said the beguiler girl in recollection.

“You broke your tailbone,” said Flanders Nickels.

“Yeah, Flanders,” said Miss Halsey in reliving that day.  “And in lots of places.”

“What a thing to happen on our first date,” said Flanders.

“But you did not give up on me, Flanders,” said the beguiler girl.

“And you stayed true to me, Jenney,” said Flanders.

“And here we are, remembering all of it, and still together,” said Jenney Halsey.

“Tell me your side of the tale of our first getting to know each other,” said Flanders.

“Oh, I’d be glad to,” said the beguiler woman.  And she went on to narrate how she remembered hers and Flanders’ first time with each other:  “I also was a born-again Christian, blessed by her God with seven wonderful pet wolves, and I also was a woman who loved to worship her Jesus, and I also was a believer who desired a believer companion for good innocent romance in her life.  I wanted a boyfriend from God.”

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She continued her true tale:  “I was at another park, praying and reading my Bible.  It, as you know, was not the same park where you were then.  It was a park just a few blocks away from your park.  We two Christians just happened to be worshiping alone at two different picnic tables at two different parks indeed not far from each other.  Anyway, I was reading and reflecting upon I Samuel chapter ten, all about Saul before he became the king of Israel and before he went bad on God.  And I came to verses three through six, and my life began to change for the good.  You know how I memorized those four verses since, indeed over and over.”

“Recite them to me again,” said Flanders.

“I shall,” said the beguiler woman.  “This is what God wanted Saul to do for Him:”  And she recited this passage of Scripture for her doting boyfriend:  “Then shalt thou go on forward from thence, and thou shalt come to the plain of Tabor, and there shall meet thee three men going up to God to Beth-el, one carrying three kids, and another carrying three loaves of bread, and another carrying a bottle of wine:  And they will salute thee, and give thee two loaves of bread; which thou shalt receive of their hands.  After that thou shalt come to the hill of God, where is the garrison of the Philistines:  and it shall come to pass, when thou art come thither to the city, that thou shalt meet a company of prophets coming down from the high place with a psaltery, and a tabret, and a pipe, and a harp, before them; and they shall prophesy:  And the Spirit of the Lord will come upon thee, and thou shalt prophesy with them, and shalt be turned into another man.”

“What a crazy thing that Saul had to do,” said Flanders.

“I thought the same thing,” said Jenney.

“God worked in mysterious ways,” said Flanders.

“I thought that same thing myself right after, Flanders,” said Miss Halsey.

“And Saul went and did that, obeying God in faith,” said Flanders.

“God told him to do this wild thing, and Saul went and did that,” said Jenney.

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“What did you think when you first read this passage?” asked Flanders.

“I did not hear the Holy Spirit talk to me in His thoughts upon this Scripture the first time I read it.  But when I went on to read this Scripture again, and many more times after, I began to reflect upon these Bible verses.  I began to think that God had a task for Saul to do for him, and Saul obeyed God and accepted this adventure with a willing and a humble heart.  I began to say to myself, ‘Maybe God wants to send me on a wild adventure. Would I pick up and go at once?  After all, I am a good and faithful Christian who obeys God. If God tells me to leave this park right now and start walking where he wishes me to walk, I shall do that,’” said the beguiler girl in narrating her story to Flanders.

“The Holy Spirit was talking to you in His still small voice,” said Flanders.

“The silent voice of thoughts that speaks louder than any devil roaring,” said Jenney.

“God had something to tell you,” said Flanders.

“Yeah!” said the beguiler girl.  “God was telling me to quick go to the park down the road.”

“Did you hesitate?” asked Flanders.

“I did not hesitate,” said Jenney.  “My flesh said to me, ‘Stay here.  Whatever God brings to you at that park, He can bring to you at this park just as easily.’ But my Spirit said to me, ‘Go there.  God will reward you for your full obedience to His command this day.’”

“When I saw you coming up to me, you were walking so fast that it was like a jog,” said Flanders.

“But I started out running,” she said. “But God told me to slow down and to sing a hymn.”

“The Old Rugged Cross,” said Flanders.

“Jesus was faithful unto death for me on the cross two thousand years ago,” said Miss Halsey.

“And I was being faithful unto life on my journey to that other park that first day we were about to have with each other, Flanders.”

“Did you think that God had a boyfriend waiting for you at my park?” asked Flanders Nickels.

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“No.  I really did not,” said Jenney.  “I was wondering if He had a soul for we to win for him at this other park.”

“Soul-winning is the best thing a believer can do in this life,” said Flanders.

“It is the modern-day miracle that God still does today among mankind indeed,” averred Miss Halsey.

“Then you saw me.” said Flanders. “And I saw you.”

“I saw in you more than a prince, but more like a king,” said Jenney.

“And I saw in you more than a princess, but more like a queen,” said Flanders.

“’Beguiler girl,’ you called out to me.  I never forgot that,” said Jenney.

“Were you disappointed when you found out this time God called you to this park not to a searching soul looking for the Saviour, O Jenney,” asked Flanders, “but instead to become a Christian man’s girlfriend?”

“No,” said the beguiler girl.  “I may have a burden for lost souls, but my heart had its needs, too.”

“You and I go calling and spreading the word much these two years that we had together so far,” said Flanders.

“You and I are the boyfriend-girlfriend-couple of So Great Salvation Baptist Temple,” said the beguiler girl.

“I loved that hymn that you were singing that first day together,” he said.

“You loved the girl who was singing that hymn,” said the beguiler girl.

“I loved that patriotic gymnastics leotard that you were wearing,” he said.

“There!  That’s the compliment that I like from you, boyfriend,” said the beguiler gal.

“I said, ‘Love your outfit, miss.  It beguiles me.’” said Flanders.

“And I knew right then that now I had the boyfriend that God had for me,” said Jenney.

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“I had a thing for women gymnasts,” said Flanders in reliving that first day.

“You started saying all of these compliments to me.  I got a big head.  And I took my eyes off of  God.  And I wanted to do some sexy gymnastics trick to impress my new Christian guy,” said Jenney.

“When you crashed down like you did, I was praying that you be not dead,” said Flanders.

“I was lucky not to have passed out,” she said.

“I was glad when I found out that you were going to be okay,” said Flanders.

“I was so embarrassed,” said Jenney.

“Broken tailbone.  Ouch,” said Flanders.

“I had to miss a few meets after that till I got all healed up,” she said.

“Served you right,” said Flanders.

“I should have listened to my new boyfriend,” she said.

“I should have been stronger in the Lord,” he said.

“But you still adored your gymnast girl just as much despite what she did in front of you with her female pride,” said the beguiler girl.

“And you still cherished your hunter man even though you fell doing a gymnastics trick for him,” said Flanders Nickels.

“I hardly ever fall in any of my competitions,” she said.  “I fall in my training, but hardly ever in any of my meets,” said Jenney.

“You are like a fairy the way you do all of your tricks,” praised Flanders his gymnast girlfriend.

“Except that first day, when your beguiler was more like a klutz,” said Jenney.

“Even in your accident, you beguiled me,” Flanders teased her with a grin and with a laugh.

“You…you…you man!” she said in mirth.

“You woman,” he said right back.

And both laughed and smiled.  And then they were home at the Country House.  Jenney

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gave commandment to her team of wolves, “Halt.”  And they halted in front of her house.  Man and woman got down off of the chariot.  Timber looked at his mistress.  And she looked at Flanders.  And Flanders knew that she wanted a “Good bye kiss” from her special guy. And he gave her a sweet kiss on the lips.  It was delightful, and it was romantic.  And they did not do this often.  And it was even better than a sweet hug in the arms.

“I’ll see you again tomorrow, Jenney,” he promised her.

“Tomorrow, boyfriend,” she said in reverie yet of that kiss.

And then he left to go home to his Rural House.

She then noticed Timber and company all looking at her with their heads cocked to one side in incomprehension.  She said, “Boys, you did not see Flanders and I kissing.”

But Timber’s lupine countenance said to her, “Mistress, we did see you kiss the man.”

And their mistress said, “You seven pets did all see.”

And her wolves all grinned most canine-like in their teeth at her.

And she said to them, “Maybe your mistress is falling in love.”  And the woman began to sing “The Old Rugged Cross,” and she went in to her home the Country House, happy and contented and filled up inside.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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CHAPTER VII

Jenney Halsey and Flanders Nickels were on a date together on their way to church today.  It was Sunday evening.  And Flanders’s saber-toothed tiger Sawtooth was the one that these two were riding to get there tonight.  He was in the front, and she was in the back.  And she had her gymnast arms endearingly around his waist, her head dreamily resting against his shoulder, and her eyes closed in bliss.  His Sawtooth was well big and powerful enough to handily give both of the riders a long and steady ride.  But it was a little bumpy riding a saber-toothed tiger.  Her wolves gave smoother rides than did his big cats.

He thought the same thing as the two traveled toward So Great Salvation Baptist Temple, saying, “Jenny, your chariot is smoother than my tiger’s back.”

But she said, “I’m happy just to ride with you, Flanders.”

“Sunday Evening Worship is most fun,” said Flanders.

“Pastor always preaches only what God tells him to preach,” said Miss Halsey.

“And he preaches to please God and not to please man,” said Flanders.

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“Yeah.  That’s what makes Pastor such a great pastor,” said Jenney.

“Pastor is a lot like Paul the Apostle,” said Flanders.  “As Paul says in Acts 20:27, ‘For I have not shunned to declare unto you the whole counsel of God.’”

“Pastor preaches the same way—the whole Word of God—whether we become offended or not.” said Jenney.

“He preaches like that, because he cares for his flock, and he does not want us of his church to fall away and backslide,” said Flanders.

“He cares enough for you and me, that he warns us of all things that we need to be warned about in order to stay in the straight and narrow with the Lord,” said Jenney.

“He told me not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween with your own leotard on myself,” said Flanders.

“And he told me not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween with a witch hat on,” said Jenney.

“And Pastor is a lot like the Apostle Paul in Acts 20:31,” said Flanders.

“Acts 20:31…let me try to remember,” said Jenney.  Then she recited it well, “Therefore watch, and remember, that by the space of three years I ceased not to warn every one night and day with tears.”

“Pastor weeps for the lost when they die in their sins,” said Flanders.

“Everywhere Pastor goes, he is ever warning people about the fires of Hell,” said Jenney.  “He it was who first made you and me find our own burden for the unsaved.”

“He has won more souls for Christ than you and I have together,” said Flanders.

“Every day is visitation for him,” said Jenney.

“As he says about being a witness-warrior, ‘Contact; opportunity; responsibility.’” said Flanders.

“As a believer, he married Emmy, a believing woman, and they brought forth three children, all

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three children accepting Christ at a very early age.  And his whole family is all living faithfully in Christ,” said Jenney.

“Except his little brother and his big sister,” said Flanders.

“They both made professions of faith, but his little brother still does not talk about God, and his big sister still has not left the Lutheran church,” said Jenney.

“Those dirty rats,” said Flanders.  “The least that they could do is to come and hear their brother  preach,”

“I know how he feels about loved ones rejecting the Gospel,” said Jenney.  “Remember my best friend Tracey, and how she is still not saved.”

“Yeah, Jenney.  And my good friend Proffery—Tracey’s boyfriend—how he has always turned me away when I try to help him with the truth,” said Flanders.

“Silly Tracey asked me this afternoon, ‘Jenny, if you went to church this morning, why do you have to go back to church in the evening?’” said Miss Halsey.

“What did you tell her?” asked Flanders.

“I told her, ‘Tracey, I don’t have to go to church.  I get to go to church.’” said Jenney.

“Proffery was rough with me yesterday, but I think that we left on a good note,” said Flanders.

“Did he say something nasty to you, Flanders?” asked Jenney Halsey.

“I told him that I could not make it out to see him wrestle on Saturday, and that I was needed on Saturday Morning Visitation with Pastor and the deacon and the usher,” said Flanders.

“Was it bad what he said when you turned him down?” asked Jenney.

“He said to me, ‘Flanders, you are so Heavenly-minded that you are no Earthly good.’” said Flanders.

“I bet that I know what you told him then,” said Jenney.

“You’re right, Jenney,” said Flanders.  “I told him then, ‘Proffery, perhaps you are so Earthly-

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minded that you are no Heavenly good.’”

“Did he say anything back at you after you told him that, Flanders?” asked Jenney.

“He said to me, ‘Flanders, I ought to give you a flying drop-kick for that.’” said Flanders.

“Ah, he did not get mad,” said Jenney.  “He says that to me when my sharing the Gospel with him starts to prick his conscience.  Did he laugh through his nose when he said that?”

“He did,” said Flanders.  And I did the same.

“You two left on a good note then,” said Miss Halsey.

“I made sure to leave the door open between him and me in case I get to share the Gospel with him again sometime,” said Flanders.

“I do the same with Tracey.  I make sure to always leave the door open between us in case I can find a way to tell her about the Saviour again sometime down the road,” said Jenney.

“’You can be a better witness-warrior with sugar than with vinegar,’”said Flanders his soul-winning proverb.

“You mean that you can win more souls with kindness than you can with rudeness,” said his girlfriend.

“The words must be hard and convicting and hellfire and brimstone, but the tone must be gentle and loving and with care,” said Flanders.

Soon the church-goers arrived.  Flanders said to Sawtooth, “Halt, good boy,” and the big saber-toothed tiger stopped in front of the church sign.  The two riders dismounted and stopped to again admire the sign.  It read the following:

“So Great Salvation Baptist Temple

Pastor Woodrow Parsons

Sunday School:  9:30

Sunday Morning Worship:  10:45

Sunday Evening Worship:  7:00

Wednesday Night Bible Study and Prayer Meeting:  7:00

‘…, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved,…’  Acts 16:31.”

 

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“It’s six o’clock,” said Flanders, looking at his pocket watch.

“We’re an hour early again,” said Jenney.

This church sign was made of dark black ebony, and it was inlaid with oak letters.  It measured three feet high and five feet across, and it stood three feet above the ground.  It was fastened to two thick posts of ash ten inches in diameter and eight feet tall.  Before this sign stood seven pedestals side by side, four feet tall, upon which stood seven black lanterns.  These lanterns were for light for this sign at night.  It was yet day, and the lanterns were not yet lit.

Flanders then said, “Good Sawtooth, wait here.  Jenney and I will be back in a couple or three hours.”  And the two church-goers came up to the door of the Baptist church.  This was a double-door, of mahogany, with large rings of brass connected to lions’ heads of brass.  Flanders took the door on the right via the ring, pulled it open, and held it open for his girlfriend.

She went through and said, “Thank you, Flanders,” and then he went through and said “You’re welcome.”  And they came in to the auditorium of So Great Salvation Baptist Temple.  Its familiar seating was much like that of a theater, but a very small theater.  The floor sloped downward.  There were sections of chairs in three groups with two sloping aisles between them.  And the sections of chairs were three across and ten deep.  Thirty chairs were in each group, and the total seating capacity in this auditorium was ninety people.  This Baptist church had nearly one hundred in its flock.  Oftentimes the young and the healthy stood up in the back during a sermon were the seats all occupied.

And these chairs were metal chairs with padded seats and backrests, and they had little tabletops upon which to take notes and baskets underneath to hold a hymnbook and a Bible, and they were red.  The floor of this auditorium was covered by red shag carpet.  To the left and to the right were two fireplaces, each with a fireplace tool set rack with a tongs and with a little shovel and with a big brush and with a poker.  There were no fires within them; it was the wrong time of year for fires  now.  The windows to this auditorium numbered twelve on each side.  These windows were from ceiling to floor,

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and they were scarcely one foot wide, and they were of stained glass.  One foot of wall lay between each window.  And upon these walls between were incandescent wall lamps six feet above the floor, each with its own light switch just below it.  There were no ceiling lamps in this auditorium. Upon the mantel of the fireplace to the left were all of the famous Chick salvation tracts through the years, whose genre of evangelism were cartoon booklets.  And upon the mantel of the fireplace to the right were all manner of salvation tracts which had the sinners’ prayer to pray on the backs for so great salvation, these sinners’ prayers confessing not just the death of Christ, but also the resurrection of Christ.  The ceiling of this auditorium let in daylight from above with many skylights, these windows above being in the shapes of octagons.  And many rafters held up the ceiling, all of box elder wood.

They then saw Pastor and Emmy standing and chatting up on the dais.  Pastor said to them, “Flanders, Jenney, thanks for coming.  I can always count on the both of you to be here when the doors are open at So Great Salvation Baptist Temple.”

“We’re glad to be here again, Pastor,” said Flanders.

Emmy said,”Faithful people are the kind of people that God can build a church on.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Parsons,” said Jenney.

“Faithful believers make faithful friends,” said Pastor.

“We four are the only ones here yet,” said Flanders.

Emmy said, “I see that you came in your gymnastics leotard again, Jenney.”

“It’s quite comfortable,” said Miss Halsey.

“I can see, my sister-in-the-Lord,” said Pastor’s wife.  And she laughed in consent.

Pastor went on to say, “A little immodest, true, Jenney; but very American,”  He then turned to the American flag he had on the flagpole behind him.  And he said about the flag and about her leotard, “Red, white, and blue, and stars and stripes everywhere.”

“Patriotic, Pastor,” said Pastor’s wife.

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“It is good to honor our country,” said Pastor.  “Though the United States has left God as a nation, this is still the greatest nation in the world.”

“I do not know if I honor the United States in my gymnastics leotard, Pastor.  I just happened to fall in love with its pattern,” said Jenney.

“It excites me,” said Flanders.

Then Pastor turned to look at his Christian flag next to the American flag up on the dais.  And he said, “Flanders, you really ought to listen to the sermons a little more and look at your girlfriend a little less when I am preaching.”  And Pastor laughed in resignation.  This Christian flag was also red, white, and blue.

Upon this dais where Pastor and his wife were standing were these two flags, Pastor’s wooden pulpit, and hardwood floors of red maple.  This dais was three feet higher than was the sloping auditorium here.  Access to the stage from the auditorium was by way of a little fixed wrought iron ladder held securely against the three-foot ledge.  There was one such ladder to the right, and there was one such ladder to the left.  The wall behind Pastor’s pulpit was of yellow brick.  And in front of the pulpit, and near the edge of this dais, was a card table with a conventional red kerosene lantern to give light for Pastor and to Pastor as he preached.  And the walls to the sides of this dais were of red brick.

Not too long later, others began to come into this church.  The deacon and his wife.  The trustee and his wife.  The church clerk and her husband.  The teen Sunday School teacher and his wife.  The treasurer and her husband.  And children also came filing in.  And after a while, the whole flock of So Great Salvation Baptist Temple were here.  And they were talking in fellowship throughout this auditorium.  Then the clock read 6:55.  It was now five minutes till Sunday Evening Worship was to begin. And the one hundred or so sat down in the chairs or stood up in the back, and they were all silent now and expectant, honoring the Lord and His Word with quietness before the service.  Flanders and his beguiler gal were sitting next to each other in the first row in the middle.

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And Pastor Parsons began his sermon for the night:  “Today I shall talk about the Devil, the number one enemy of all Christians everywhere.  Turn with me if you would to Ezekiel chapter 28.”

They did so.  Pastor continued, “I would have you to know that before the Devil was called ‘Satan,’ he was called ‘Lucifer.’  ‘Lucifer,’ by definition, means ‘light-giver.’  He was created by God as the greatest and the wisest and the strongest and the most handsome of all angels everywhere.  This Lucifer was a cherub, indeed the cherub of all cherubim.  Cherubim are the highest angels of the angelic hierarchy.  Their ministry for God is to keep the holiness of God.  Listen and read along with me as I read from Ezekiel 28.”  And Pastor read all about Lucifer in his glory when Lucifer was still a good angel in verses twelve through fifteen, ‘…Thus saith the Lord God; Thou sealest up the sum, full of wisdom, and perfect in beauty.  Thou hast been in Eden the garden of God; every precious stone was thy covering, the sardius, topaz, and the diamond, the beryl, the onyx, and the jasper, the sapphire, the emerald, and the carbuncle, and gold:  the workmanship of thy tabrets and of thy pipes was prepared in thee in the day that thou wast created.  Thou art the anointed cherub that covereth; and I have set thee so:  thou wast upon the holy mountain of God; thou hast walked up and down in the midst of the stones of fire.  Thou wast perfect in thy ways from the day that thou wast created, till iniquity was found in thee.’

Then this angel of angels sinned.

What did he do?  He became proud, wanted to be worshipped as his Maker was worshiped, and rebelled against God his Creator.  And Lucifer fell.  Turn to Ezekiel 28 and read verse 17 out loud to me.”

And the one hundred believers read this verse out loud:  “Thine heart was lifted up because of thy beauty, thou hast corrupted thy wisdom by reason of thy brightness:   I will cast thee to the ground, I will lay thee before kings, that they may behold thee.”

Then Pastor preached, “Isaiah chapter 14 is also all about the Devil.  Turn with me if you would

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to Isaiah 14.  And let us read responsively verses twelve through fifteen:”  The flock searched and found this Scripture passage, and Pastor began out loud: “How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning!  How art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations1”

The flock went on to read out loud, “For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God:  I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north:”

Then Pastor read out loud, “I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.”

And then the flock read out loud, “Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit.”

Pastor preached these four read verses.  “Lucifer said, ‘I will…,I will…I will…I will…I will…’

He willed to be God.  And he became Satan.  And in his rebellion against the Lord, one-third of the other angels joined him in this war.  And God cast them out of Heaven.  These became the fallen angels.  And fallen angels are called ‘demons.’  The Devil and his demons are in the skies above the Earth right now.  And Satan tells them, ‘Go down and do something bad.’  And they all listen to him and they do bad things.  Satan is not yet in Hell, but He will end up down there for forever in God’s time.  Until then He fights Jesus.  The Devil hates Christ because Christ is God and the Devil is not God.  The Devil hates Christians, because they are the sons and daughters of God and because he can not bring them down to Hell with him.  The Devil hates even the unsaved, because, as humans, they are created in God’ s image; but these lost people are yet the Devil’s sons and daughters on their way to Hell if they do not get saved.  And the Devil hates animals, because they are testimonies of the wise Creator-God of all life and living things.  And also the Devil hates Michael, the angel who stands for the Israelites; and he hates Gabriel, the angel who stands in the presence of God; and he hates the good angels, because they did not join his side in his rebellion against God.  And the Devil hates the Jews,

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because they are God’s chosen nation.  But most of all, the Devil hates God for His Goodness and for His Greatness and for His Grandness.  After all, when Satan said his five ‘I will’s,’ God told him five ‘You will not’s.’  And God cast him down.”

“Amen!” said Flanders and Jenney.

Pastor continued, “Because Christ is Satan’s worst enemy, it is the Christians who are Satan’s main targets.  If the Devil had his way, all of us Christians would be dead.  And Satan’s greatest trophies are the backslidden believers out there.  Satan goes and tempts us Christians every day.  He wants us all to fall into sin.  He even tempted Jesus Himself three times in the wilderness; Jesus prevailed over him by quoting from the Bible at him.  Child of God, if Satan tempted Jesus, he will surely tempt you.  Be on guard.  After the Devil failed to tempt Jesus in the wilderness, he departed from Jesus for a season.  For a season.  That means that he will always come back and tempt some more again.  The same for us.  If we overcome Satan’s temptation one day, he will depart…for a season.  And he will come back to us later and try again to tempt us to sin.  Take heed, O fellow Christian.  It is written in I Peter 5:8, ‘Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.’  Do not be ignorant of the Devil’s devices.  Always be ready for a quick little Bible verse and with a quick word of prayer whenever the Devil comes your way to tempt you.  Again it is written in James 4:7, ‘Submit yourselves therefore to God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.’  This means to not go after the Devil and try all exorcisms.  An exorcism may be a good thing—Jesus did this when He walked the Earth.  But the Christian is not called to go out and chase away Satan. Rather, the Christian is called to keep his eyes on Christ.  And when the Devil comes to you, ask God to chase him away.  And God will chase him away in His time and in His way.  You and I are no match for the Devil in ourselves.  Satan is stronger and smarter than we believers are.  But our God is stronger and smarter than Satan is.  Only trust Jesus.”

“Amen!” said Flanders.

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Pastor continued, “As for the majority of the people of the world—all of the unbelievers—Satan already has them.  The unbelievers do not have the Holy Spirit indwelling them, so it is all the easier for the Devil to deceive them, to lie to them, to tempt them.  He does not have to try so hard to trick the lost as he has to to trick the saved.  This wily old Devil has lots of lies that he tells the unsaved of the world, and the unsaved of the world believe him with a sincere and wicked heart.  One of his lies that he tells to the nations of the world is ‘You can solve your own problems.’  What is wrong with that statement?  Is is false.  Mankind cannot solve his own problems.  His very sin nature will make his mortal efforts end up making the problems even worse.  Man is helpless without God.  Another great lie that Satan tells people everywhere throughout the Earth is,’You can have a better life without Jesus.’

That, too, is a lie right from Hell.  Lost people everywhere, in their life of rejecting Jesus, are seeking satisfaction from things that can never satisfy.  They go searching for happiness in doing drugs, in getting drunk, in committing immorality, in gambling, in witchcraft and wizardry.  And not only do they never find the answer to life in these pursuits, but their life down here is even worse than it would be if they had nothing at all in this life.  Then they die and go to Hell.  Another lie that he tells the lost is, ‘Become religious and earn your way to Heaven.’  Remember my saying, ‘Religion damns; Christianity saves.’  The basic foundation of salvation through religion is a mixture of works, rites, and sacraments intended to placate an angry God and to try to maybe be good enough to end up in Heaven.

This is false.  But the basic foundation of salvation through Christianity is to simply accept the free gift of eternal life. This is true.  Religion says to work your way to Heaven.  Christianity says to accept Heaven as a present. There are 1,500 different religions that all have their unique false way to earn Heaven.  And there is only one Christianity that says simply to accept salvation by grace through faith. I do not know about you, but I choose to believe the Bible and Christ.  The Catholic church is the world’s biggest cult.  And Islam is the world’s second biggest cult.  And Hinduism is not far behind as a cult.  Satan loves cults, big and medium and small.”

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“Amen!” said Jenney.

Pastor continued, “Throughout Scripture, the Devil has other titles.  In Ephesians 2:2 he is called, ‘the prince of the power of the air.’  What does that mean?  This means that he controls the airwaves of broadcasting.  This means, for one thing, the radio.  Radio stations everywhere play rock and roll music or other junk music, that God does not want people to listen to.  The Devil likes this music of the world, for it has his kind of beat to it.  When I see a person walking by with a loud boombox on his shoulder, I often wonder to myself, ‘He knows what the Devil is saying to him, but he does not know it is the Devil who is talking to him.  And I don’t know what the Devil is saying to him, but I know that it is the Devil speaking to him.’  The prince of the power of the air also controls the TV that people watch.  Sex and violence are what is on TV.  And the Devil wants people to see sex and violence.  And as for movies, no good thing can come out of Hollywood.  Child of God, do not go to the theater.  TV shows are bad; the movies are worse.  And the language is the worst.”

Pastor continued, “Another title for the Devil in the Bible is found in I Corinthians 4:4.  Therein

Satan is also called ‘the god of this world.’  We Christians are called to not love this world.  By this term ‘the world,’ God does not mean His beautiful Earth of creation. We believers ought to love creation.  By this term ‘the world,’  God means this corrupt world in its wicked world system corrupted by mankind in his wickedness.  We Christians are called to preach to this world, but to not become like the world.  Satan and his demons are the main reason why this beautiful world of God has become so dirty a world of sin.  Hence the god of this world, the Devil who has corrupted it with the reprobate hearts of mankind.  What began as a paradise in Eden has ended up as a planet of suffering.”

“Amen, Pastor,” said the deacon.

Pastor continued, “Another name for the Devil in the Bible is ‘the accuser of the brethren.’  That is found in Revelation 12:10.  Often times even we believers stumble in a weaker moment and fall into sin.  Whenever a child of God slips and falls into temptation, the Devil comes right up to God the

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Father and says to Him about this believer, ‘Did You see what he did?  Did you hear what he said?  Did you know what he thought?  Aha!  Aha!’  And the Devil points at him with his index finger in front of the Father and accuses him before God on His throne.  But then Jesus, the Son of God, comes up to the Father and intercedes for that believer, and He says to His Father, ‘Father, forgive him, for he knew not what he was doing.  And that Christian’s Heavenly Father forgives him, despite his enemy the accuser of the brethren.”

“Amen, Pastor!” said the trustee.

“And finally, good flock, as I conclude tonight’s message, I would have you to turn to Job chapter one and chapter two.”  The congregation did so.  Pastor continued, “Satan, despite all he has done with all of his evil power and with all of his evil knowledge and with all of his evil demons, is still relegated to the number two personage in the universe.  The Lord Jesus is still the number one personage.  Christ is God.  And God has even Satan on a leash.  Satan can do nothing to any of God’s children unless God lets him.  Sometimes, God in His sovereignty, lets out the leash on Satan, and Satan is given license to harm a believer.  Sometimes, God in His sovereignty, pulls in on the leash on Satan, and Satan is kept back from harming a believer.  Take Job for example.  The Devil and the Lord had a fight over so-just and so-righteous Job.  And they agreed to do a test with Job.  God wanted to make Job look good.  Satan wanted to make Job look bad.  And God let out on the Devil’s leash a little and allowed the Devil to go and smite Job.  Look to Job 1:12 and see what God said to the Devil about how far He would let the Devil strike Job.“ Pastor read this verse out loud and his flock read it in silence:  “And the Lord said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thine hand.  And Satan went forth from the presence of the Lord.”  Then Pastor preached, “Behold, the formidable Devil went out and took away not only all of Job’s great wealth, but also the lives of all ten of his dear children.  Yet, Satan did not strike Job himself, though he wanted to.  And still Job praised God.  Satan did not want to quit.  So God let loose the leash of Satan a little farther.

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Look at what God let the Devil do next.  Look at Job 2;6 while I read it.”  And Pastor read this verse out loud as his flock read it in silence:  “And the Lord said unto Satan, Behold, he is in thine hand; but save his life.”  Pastor thereby preached, “Behold, Job was struck all full of boils by the Devil himself from head to foot.   But the Devil did not slay Job, even though he wanted to slay Job.  God had told him not to kill him.  And again did Job go and praise God.  The Devil lost.  The Lord won.  And God healed Job of all of his boils.  And the Lord gave Job ten new children and double of his previous wealth.  And Job lived happily ever after.”

“Amen!” said Emmy.

And Sunday Evening Worship’s sermon was over.  Pastor dismissed his flock.  And all stayed for fellowship for some time after.  Then they left for the night.  Flanders and Jenney were the last to leave of Pastor’s flock.

Once outside, there stood faithful Sawtooth, still there, waiting for his master, and his master’s girlfriend.  It was dark now outside in this warm summer evening.  And now the seven black lanterns were on, giving light onto the big church sign.

Flanders spoke and said to his beguiler girl, “It is so good to have a girlfriend sitting next to me in church, beautiful Jenney.”

And she said to him, “It is great to be your girlfriend sitting next to you in church, boyfriend.”

“Another great sermon,” said Flanders.

“Very great sermon,” said Jenney.

Flanders then helped her to mount his big saber-toothed tiger’s back.  And he mounted the big cat next, himself sitting in front of the girl.  “Take us back to our homes, good Sawtooth,” said the master.

And they began their journey back to their houses.

 

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CHAPTER VIII

The whole group were gathered together in Flanders’s backyard right near to his Rural House. Flanders was sitting upon a flat stump no higher than the ground, with a Bible in front of him.  Jenney was sitting in the tall field grass right next to him to his right, with a Bible dictionary on her lap.

Across from them on a chaise longue lawn chair sat Proffery, with Tracey sitting upon his lap.  Proffery’s wrestling champion belt was on the ground next to him to his right.  And Tracey’s boxing gloves were on the ground next to her to her left.

Flanders asked, “Proffery, could I hold your big belt?”

“I’d be honored, Flanders,” said Proffery.  And he picked it up and reached it out to Flanders. “Sorry I can’t get up.  I’ve got a woman on my lap.”

“That makes sense,” said Flanders.  And he came and got it and came right back to his stump.

“This is nice and big and nice and heavy, Proffery,” said Flanders, impressed.

Proffery said, “It weighs between seven-and-one-half and eight-and-three-quarter pounds, Flanders.”

“Intercontinental Heavyweight Wrestling Champion,” said Tracy, bragging on her boyfriend.

“The leather is so wide and so thick,” said Flanders.  “I like the strap lots.”

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Proffery said, “The strap is made of real top grain leather.”

“It shines in the sun,” said Tracy in boast of her boyfriend.

Proffery said, “The plate is made of a zinc alloy,  The zinc is three thirty-secondths of an inch thick.  And the gold is twenty-four karats.”  Then he asked, “Do you like it, Flanders, Jenney?”

Jenney asked, “Can I take a look at it, too, Flanders?”  And she looked at Proffery when she asked this, too, requesting his permission.

And Proffery said, “You two good people flatter me.  I am honored that you both like my precious belt.  Go ahead and look and touch and feel my wrestling belt, if you want.”

“He’s had it for five years,” said Tracey.

And Flanders and Jenney took a good long look at this most especial belt.  And this design covered the whole large impressive plate of gold:  On top was the W.W.F official logo. Right below that was a curve stripe of black left to right with the gold letters of the word “INTERCONTINENTAL”

with three gold stars to the left and with three gold stars to the right.  Below that, in the middle, was a large blue circle with the continents of the world within it in gold, and with faux latitude lines and faux longitude lines.  Below that was a wave stripe of black with the gold letters of the words “HEAVYWEIGHT WRESTLING.”  And below that, on the bottom, was another curve stripe of black with the gold letters reading, “CHAMPION.”  To the left of this most elaborate plate and to the right of this most elaborate plate, on the belt itself, were two little plates of gold that commemorated the W.W.F.

And at one end of the one strap were six snaps, three across and two down.  And at one end of the other strap were three snap holes, three across and two down.

“Proffery,” asked Jenney, “how did you get such a belt?  Whom did you beat to become the reigning intercontinental wrestling champion?”

“Sweet Gherkins,” said Proffery.

“Was he a sour wrestler?” asked Jenney.

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Tracey spoke up and said, “Jenney, Proffery said ‘Sweet Gherkins,’ not ‘Dill Pickle.’”

“Then he must have been a sweet wrestler,” said Jenney, correcting herself.

“Indeed,” said Proffery,  “Sweet Gherkins fought neither sour nor sweet, but bitter.”

“Was he tough?” asked Flanders.

“Sweet Gherkins was self-proclaimed as ‘the wrestler who put his opponents in a pickle,’” said Proffery Coins.

“But my boyfriend put him in a pickle,” said Tracey Title.

“I went and twisted him all up,” said Proffery.

“And that made my boyfriend the intercontinental wrestling champion,” said Tracey.  “And he has never lost a match since.”

“What a belt,” said Flanders.

“What a wrestler,” said Jenney.

“Proffery, put on the belt,” said Tracey.

And Flanders and Jenney brought the belt back to Proffery, and Proffery said, “Thank you,” and Tracey got up off of his lap, and Proffery stood up and put on the belt around his waist.  And he flexed his biceps and his triceps.  Indeed he was almost as strong in brute strength even as Hulk Hogan.  But his stature was some inches shorter than that of the Hulkster.

Then Tracey Index Title spoke and said, “What about me?  I fight for a living, too.”

“You boxers punch,” said Proffery.  “But we wrestlers are not supposed to punch.”

“Yeah,” said Tracey.  “But you go and do that anyway.”

“We professional wrestlers do put on quite the show,” said Proffery.

“But I punch for real,” said Tracey.

“And hard, too,” said Proffery.

“Don’t you know it, boyfriend,” said Tracey.

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“Tracey, may I hold one of your boxing gloves?” asked Jenney.

“Why, sure, Jenney,” said Tracey.

“Can I hold the other one, Tracey?” asked Flanders.

“Why, of course, Flanders,” said Tracey, enjoying all of the attention now.  And she picked her two gloves up and handed them to her two good Christian friends.

In great admiration, Jenney asked, “What is this made of?”

“That I so know,” said Tracey.  “My boxing gloves are made of a lightweight premium leather and a foam construction.  The skin of that boxing glove that you hold in your hand is officially top grain tanned leather, cowhide in my case.  Other boxing glove skins are made of goatskin instead.

The foam inside my brown boxing gloves here is made of three layers.  The outer layer is synthetic sponge foam.  The central layer is a medium density EVA foam, which is very durable and which almost never breaks down.  And the inner layer is a high density synthetic foam which is very comfortable. And, finally, within that, my boxing gloves have a three-eighths inch thick extra foam sheet just for extra protection for my knuckles.”

“I thought that boxing gloves were filled with horsehair,” said Flanders.

“Oh, horsehair.  Not anymore, Flanders,” said Tracey.  “Boxing gloves with horsehair in them did punch harder, but they did not do much for one’s hands inside of them.”

Proffery spoke up and said, “Girlfriend, remember when you told me that one pair of boxing gloves you had was made of buffalo leather?”

“Yes, my first pair,” said Tracey.  “But after that, all of my gloves I made sure of to be made of cowhide leather.  The boxing experts say that cow leather is the most expensive and the most supple and the most longest lasting of leathers.”

“I’ve got a question that I am just dying to ask you, Tracey,” said Jenney.

“Ask away, best friend,” said Tracey.

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And Jenney asked, “Does a boxing glove hurt?”

“Yes!  Yes, O Jenney.  Take it from me, it hurts,” said Tracey.

“I never got punched by a boxing glove,” said Jenney.

“As one as myself can simply answer your question, ‘It hurts to get punched in the face,’” said Tracey.

“I see it happen to you from ringside,” said Jenney.

“And it hurts to get punched in the ribs and in the gut and in the ears, also,” said Tracey,  “And that is true even with big gloves and headgear,  And if your nose especially stings when you get hit there.”

“I see you do that to all of your opponents,” said Jenney.

“So what does it feel like to get punched in the face with a boxing glove for you?  It hurts, I now know. But is there more to it than that?” asked Jenney.

“Oh yeah, Jenney,” said Tracey.  “When I get socked in the face with a glove, it does not just hurt physically.  But also my eyes water.  And my nose runs.  And there is a lot of mental and emotional shock that goes along with it.  But mostly it is a pride thing; my pride is wounded when I get slugged in the face in the boxing ring like that.”

“Do bare fists hurt an opponent worse than boxing glove fists do in the ring?” asked Flanders.

“I heard different things about that from different people,” said Tracey.  “Some experts say that boxing gloves allow a fighter to hit harder than a bare knuckle fighter can, because his gloves protect his fists, and he won’t have to worry about hurting his hands.  And other experts say that boxing gloves hurt the opponents less than would bare knuckles, because the boxing gloves reduce the impact of a punch by increasing the duration of each blow and by spreading the impact force of the punch over a wider area than bare knuckle blow would.  Also research found that a bare knuckle fist can produce

776 pounds of force, and gloved fists can produce 641 pounds of force.”

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“How does a boxing glove feel dressed up in them?” asked Jenney.

“Go ahead and put them on, good friend,” said Tracey.

“Whoa, friend! I never did that before,” said Jenney.

“Oh, but you’re dying to put them on,” said Tracey.

“Oh, I surely am,” said Jenney. She looked to Flanders, and he gave her the other of Tracey’s two gloves.  And now the beguiler girl had them both upon her palms. “Well, Lord, here I go!” said Jenney. And she put them on. She stared down upon them in amazement at what she had just dressed herself in.  And she made two fists and slammed the gloves together as prize fighters always do.

“What do you think?” asked Tracey.

“I don’t know, but I like it!” said Jenney.

“How do they feel right now for your first time?” asked Tracey.

“They seem a little tight,” said Jenney.

“That’s good,” said Tracey.  “Boxing gloves are supposed to feel tight when you first put them on.”

“These do feel real good on my hands, Tracey,” said Jenney.

“You’re beginning to feel the same way I do about boxing gloves,” said Tracey.

“These feel good on like my gymnastics leotard feels good on,” said Jenney.

“I’ll make a prize fighter out of you yet,” said Tracey.

“But I don’t think that I have the courage to take a real punch,” said Jenney.  “And I do not think that I have the courage to throw a real punch, either,” said Jenney Halsey.  Then she said, “Why, my hands are beginning to sweat.”

“Boxing gloves get warm inside after a short while,” said Tracey.

“May I keep them on for a while?” asked Jenney.

“I’d be most honored,” said Tracey.  “You flatter me so,”

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“Jenney, what’s in that book that you have today?” asked Proffery.

“It’s a Bible dictionary,” said Jenney.

“A King James Version Bible dictionary at that,” said Flanders.

“Ah, the King James,” said Tracey.  “The Bible full of ‘thee’s’ and ‘thou’s’ and ‘thy’s’ and ‘thine’s.’”

“I bet that those four words are in your Bible dictionary, Jenney,” said Proffery.

“Nope.  None of those four are in my Bible dictionary,” said Jenney.  “Harder words are in this dictionary, instead.”

“What kinds of words are those?” asked Tracey.

“Words that even Flanders does not know,” said Jenney.

“Words from the days that the King James Bible was written, I’d bet,” said Proffery.

“Words from 1611 English that are not around anymore in today’s English,” said Jenney.

“I find them, and Jenney looks up their definition, and I memorize the reference of that Bible verse with that Bible word,” said Flanders.

“Do you have any like that that you can remember?” asked Proffery.

“Proffery and I want to hear some of them,” said Tracey.

“I know one that I came upon just yesterday in my Bible study,” said Flanders.  “It’s the word ‘sith,’ and it is found in Ezekiel 35:6.”  He went and looked up this verse and said, “It ends with the clause, ‘…:  sith thou hast not hated blood, even blood shall pursue thee.’”

And Jenney looked up this word ‘sith’ in her Bible dictionary and read its definition, saying, ‘It means ‘since; forasmuch as.’”

“How about another one?” asked Tracey.

“I think now of the word ‘champaign,’” said Flanders.

“’Champagne?” asked Proffery.  “Tracey and I know all about champagne.”

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“Never mind me and my boyfriend,” said Tracey.  “He does not drink as hard as he wrestles.  And I prefer Lambrusco wine.”  And all four laughed mirthfully together.

“Champaign…Deuteronomy 11:30,” said Flanders.  “This verse ends like this:  ‘…, which dwell in the champaign over against Gilgal, beside the plains of Moreh?’”

And Jenney looked up this word and said, “’Champaign’ means  ‘plain; level country.’”

Then Tracey asked, “Is there any words in your Good Bible that are a whole different word here  in these days, Jenney, Flanders?”

“Do you mean the definitions of the same word?” asked Jenney.

Proffery said, “I think that she is asking if a word in the Bible, which may be the same word here and now, might have a different meaning between then and now.”

“’College’ for sure,” said Flanders.

“Yes, the word ‘college.’” said Jenney.

“II Kings 22:14 and II Chronicles 34:22.” said Flanders.  And he looked up these two verses and read them to his audience:  “Both verses have this to say in the middle of them:  ‘…;  (now she dwelt in Jerusalem in the college;)…;

And Jenney looked up this word in her Bible dictionary and said,  “In the Bible ‘college’ meant ‘one of the two divisions of Jerusalem built on the hill Acra.’”

“Is there another Bible word that changed its meaning since the days of 1611?” asked Tracey.

“I know of one that I could not figure out until Jenney looked it up for me in her Bible dictionary,” said Flanders.  “What I thought and what the Bible thought about that word were complete opposites.”

“That must be the hardest word in the Bible,” said Tracey.

“I remember that word,” said Jenney.  “It is a most tiny word.  It’s the word ‘let.’  Isn’t it, Flanders?”

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“A three-letter word?” asked Proffery.

“’Let’ means ‘to allow; to permit,’” said Tracey.

“Back then, ‘let’ meant more like ‘to not allow; to not permit,’” said Flanders.

“Four hundred years must have done some strange things to our language, Flanders,” said Proffery.

“It is found in II Thessalonians 2:7,” said Flanders, searching the Scriptures, and he read this to them, saying, “There, it ends like this:  ‘…:  only he who now letteth will let, until he be taken out of the way.’”

Jenney looked up this word in her Bible dictionary and read its definition. “’Let’ here means ‘hinder; prevent.’”

“Or maybe also ‘to restrain,’” asked Proffery.

“Yes,” said Jenney.  “One could also say the word, ‘restrain’ in the case of that Bible verse.

Flanders went on to preach this verse to further explain this old time meaning of this simple word: “He, the Holy Spirit, who restrains evil in the world, will restrain evil, until the time comes when He, the Holy Spirit, leaves this evil world.  At that time, the Antichrist will come and rule the new world of the tribulation, and all evil will fill this world to the uttermost.”

Tracey spoke up and said, “Jenney, remember when you told me about the Bible phrase ‘to us-ward?’”

“Uh huh, Tracey,” said Jenney.

“You said that that meant ‘toward us.’” said Tracey.

“And Jenney,” said Proffery, “remember when I came up to you, thinking to outwit the mistress of the Holy Bible, asking you what those four letters ‘YHWH’ might mean?”

“’Yahweh’ indeed,” said Jenney.

“One of the many names for God,” said Proffery.  “You called that word a ‘Tetragrammaton.’”

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Tracey said, “And then Proffery went and told me.”

Jenney said, “And ‘YHWH” is not one of those words in the Bible.”

And Flanders said, “Nor is ‘Yahweh’ one of the words in the Bible.”

“Neither name is in my Bible dictionary,” said Jenney.

Just then a fell shadow up above came between this backyard and the sun.  And it was not a cloud.  And the four suddenly found themselves in an eerie shade.  They all looked up.

“Whatever it is, it is big and green,” said Flanders, preparing his artillery.

Jenney said, “Is it evil, Flanders?”

Tracey said, “Look at the size of those big green wings!  I’m scared to death!”

“It looks like one of those demon animals that you fight, Flanders,” said Proffery.

Jenney said, “Boyfriend, you never fought a beast like that one up there.”

“Is that thing up there a dragon?” asked Tracey.  “Is this a real dragon coming to kill all of us?”

“Pesky reptile!” yelled Proffery, looking up and shaking his fist at him.  “Come and get yours with me!”

“Lord, be with us,” prayed Jenney.

“God is with us,” said Flanders.

“God cannot help us with this one,” said Tracey.

“Then let your boyfriend help us, Tracey,” said Proffery about himself.

And the great and baneful green beast lighted upon the ground before them with a quaking of the earth.  Behold, a great green dragon!

“Rescue me, Proffery,” said Tracey in fear.

“I shall, milady,” said Proffery with no fear.

“Maybe you better not, Proffery,” said Jenney.

“Proffery, I beg of you, do not approach the great green dragon,” said Flanders.

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Fearless and sure, the powerful Proffery Coins marched right up to the great green dragon, and he looked upward toward the beast’s head, and he leaped and grabbed a hold of this demon’s neck in both of his muscular arms.  In doing this, Proffery brought the dragon’s head downward, closer to his own height, and the wrestler’s feet now reached back down to the ground.  And Proffery began to squeeze his biceps and triceps in upon the dragon’s neck to choke him and to suffocate him.  The dragon did not do anything right away to retaliate against this big man.  And Proffery asked him, “Dragon, do you give up?”

And the dragon did not reply.

“I’m talking to you, dragon!” rebuked the wrestler the demon beast.

Then with great ease and little effort, the great green dragon lifted his head back up, lifting the big fellow up off of his feet, then flicked his dragon head off to the side, and flung Proffery hard to the ground to his right.  Behold, the three hundred pound all-star wrestler flew fifteen feet and crashed into the ground on his head, and lay there in a crumpled pile, hardly conscious, maybe dead!

Tracey Title screamed.  Jenney Halsey gasped.  Flanders Nickels drew a Brass Arrow and nocked it on his bowstring.

“Great green dragon!” commanded the archer of God, “in the name of God, do no more to my impetuous friend.”

The great green dragon spoke and said, “What I have done to your friend, I had come to do unto you alone, O man of God.”

“What is your name, O dragon demon?” asked Flanders, his arrow aimed upward at the great beast.

And the great green dragon said, “My name is ‘Saur.’”

“Wherefore have you come after me, Saur?” asked Flanders.

“Because you came trespassing into my dragon den,” said Saur.

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“I do remember giving out the Word of God in a neighborhood of dragon dens up north,” said Flanders.

“You were not welcome,” said Saur.

“I was welcomed into many dragon dens that afternoon,” said Flanders.  “And I was chased out of some of those dragon dens that afternoon,”

“You were let into my dragon den by my foolish little brother who did not know about born-again Christians like yourself,” said Saur.  “Now he has crazy ideas in his head from what you told him about God.  Now he no longer thinks like a dragon.  I am now ashamed to call him my brother.”

“What did I say that offended you, Saur?” asked Flanders.  “What is it that your little brother said that I told him?”

“You said it to all of us dragons in the dragon den, and they all told it to me,” said Saur.  “I must ask you now if it is really what you said from your own lips.”

“Speak, Saur,” said Flanders.

“You told dragons that only born-again believers get to go to Heaven,” snarled the great green dragon.

“That is what I preached that day, and that is what God says, and that is eternal truth, O Saur,” said Flanders, strong in the Lord.

“You also went and said something even worse to my friends and family, man of God’s artillery,” said the great green dragon.

“I said also that day that all who are not born-again believers have to go to Hell,” said Flanders, his eyes fixed upon God as he stood before this biggest of his foes as the archer for Jesus.

“You told us dragons that we were all going to Hell,” said the wrathful great green dragon.

“Because none of you were born-again Christians,” said Flanders.  “Your argument is not against me; your argument is against God.  And no demon can win fighting God.”

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“Very little man, I abhor Christ, and I eat Christians!” threatened the offended great green dragon.  Puffs of black smoke began to come out from Saur’s nostrils and from between his teeth.

Flanders understood what this meant.

He said quickly, “Gals, run for your lives!”  And the two young women did as he said.  Jenney fled off to the right.  Tracey fled off to the left.  And Flanders stood there in Christ before the fire-breathing dragon, his artillery from God ready.

And the great green dragon shot fire out of his mouth in toward Flanders where he was standing, just as Flanders fired his arrow.  In the will of God, Flanders fired his arrow not at Saur, but instead right into the burst of fire itself!  And this Brass Arrow from God tore right through this big stream of fire in the air and divided it into four little streams of fires. One little shot of fire passed on above Flanders’s head.  One little shot of fire fell down to the ground before Flanders’s feet.  One little shot of fire passed by to Flanders’s right.  And one little shot of fire passed by to Flanders’s left.  And the fire of the dragon missed Flanders completely.

Saur was overwhelmed with the miracle of God wrought at the hands of God’s archer,  No force had ever overcome fire like this from a dragon before.  And the great green dragon came upon fear for his life.  Saur found himself saying, “Flanders, maybe we can talk,”

“We can talk now about what I and your little brother talked about in the dragon den, Saur,” said Flanders.

“Nay, soldier of Christ.  Let us not talk about becoming born again,” said Saur, trembling now in his dragon knees.

“It is written,” said Flanders, his second arrow now nocked and aimed, “’Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.’  John 3:3,”

“Warrior of God, do not say such undragontalk to such a dragon as myself,” said Saur, ready

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for flight and looking for escape.

“It is written again, O Saur of the Devil,” recited Flanders a parallel verse, “’ Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.’  John 3:7.”

“Would that you ceased the Word of God only to shoot me with one of your arrows instead,” gasped Saur.

“It is written, ‘Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible seed, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.’  I Peter 1:23.” recited Flanders the third and last of the Bible’s verses about being born again.

At once, and without another word, Saur quickly lifted back up into the sky and fled the Christian warrior and his words.  And very soon after, Flanders could no longer see him.

Flanders looked back down.  There knelt Jenney in prayer.  She had been praying for her boyfriend to have the victory against the dragon,  And God had answered her prayers.  And there knelt Tracey beside her boyfriend, worrying very desperately and hoping that he yet live and get better.  Behold, Proffery stirred.

“Oh, you’re alive,” said Tracey most earnestly and most relieved.  “Don’t die on me, Proffery.”

“Your boyfriend has a hard head, Tracey,” said Proffery, coming to.  “I think that I’m going to make it.”

“Thanks, Proffery,” said Tracey.  And she leaned down and held him in her arms.  Proffery was going to be all right.

Flanders said, “Jenney’s prayers for us just now has probably saved all of our lives.”

And Jenney said, “Praise God for His archer!”

Flanders said, “Praise God for His mercy!”

 

 

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CHAPTER IX

Galloping home in flight from Flanders that one day, that unicorn Setter was fuming in rage at having lost his battle of words with the Christian man.  Setter said in a bad taste to his wicked ears what Flanders told him that offended this unicorn so:  “Jesus is the only way to Heaven.”

In ignorance Setter went on to say to himself, “There are many ways to Heaven.”

Once back home at his unicorn den, he found his big brother and his little sister waiting up for him.  His big brother was a black unicorn with white stripes; his little sister was a white unicorn with black stripes.

“How did it go?” asked his big brother.

“Is he dead?” asked his little sister.

“Ir did not go well.  Flanders is not dead.  And I’m lucky to still be alive,” said Setter.  And a constrained silence came upon the three.

“You mean that that Christian can still walk around and preach like he does?” asked the big brother.

The little sister said, “All you had to do was to run your horn through him, and then we would have been rid of him.”

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Setter spoke and said in frustration, “His blasted saber-toothed tigers chased me away!”

“One unicorn should outnumber seven mortal big cats,” said the big brother.

“Everything that I said about what we unicorns believe, that man disproved with words from God,” said Setter.  “And nothing what he said about what his kind believed could I disprove.”

“That’s why God gave you your horn,” said the little sister.

“Did you at least run your horn through his girlfriend?” asked the big brother.  “That woman is as bad as he is with her Christ.”

“No.  I couldn’t do that, either,” said Setter.

“What good are you as a unicorn?” asked the little sister.

“Why did you even go then in that case?” asked the big brother.

“Did he have that Book with him when you were there?” asked the little sister.

“That he did,” said Setter.

“And you did not think to run your unicorn horn through that Book?” asked the big brother.

“I did not think about that,” said Setter.  “But it sure would have been a victory for us unicorns.”

“It would have been.  It could have been.  It should have been,” said the big brother.

“People like him call that Book ‘the Good Book,’” said Setter.  “I wish that it had never been written.”

“For us unicorns the Good Book is a bad Book,’ said the big brother.

“Flanders told us that day that he had come to our unicorn den that the lost call ‘good’ ‘evil’; and call ‘evil’ ‘good,’” said the little sister.

“That’s right.  I was there.  So were you,” said the big brother.

“The word ‘Good Book’ is a most compelling name for the Bible,” said the little sister.

“Bite your tongue,” said the big brother.  “Remember, we are unicorns.”

“Do we unicorns know the true difference between good and evil as Flanders seems to know?”

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dared ask the little sister.

The big brother said, “We unicorns possess knowledge of most early days, passing this knowledge from generation to generation.  Who is as wise as the unicorns?  Surely not man.”

“But Flanders is different from other men,” said the little sister.  “He knows things.”

“I thought that you were on my side.” said the big brother.  “We are supposed to be against Flanders together.”

“Maybe we should be for Flanders together,” said the little sister.

“I shall break my unicorn horn off of my head, before I seek Flanders’s Jesus,” said the big brother.

“I don’t want to do that to my unicorn horn,” said the little sister.

“Nor do you want to seek Flanders’s Jesus,” said the big brother.

“Maybe we should not be so hard on Setter,” said the little sister.

Setter now spoke and said, “Only narrow-minded people say that Jesus is the only way to Heaven.”

“Just think,” said the little sister, “if that is true…woe unto us unbelieving unicorns!”

“All of us unicorns are by nature unbelievers,” said the big brother.  “How can we be any other way?”

“Flanders said that he used to be an unbeliever himself,” said the little sister.  “But then he became a believer.  And he said that no believer goes to Hell.”

“Hell indwells us unicorns,” said the big brother.

“The Holy Spirit indwells Flanders,” said the little sister.

“You speak a most convincing debate,” said the big brother.

“Maybe that man Flanders may have a point,” said the little sister.

“None of our great unicorn wisdom says anything about this Jesus,” said the big brother.

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“Maybe we unicorns are not so wise as we think we are,” said the little sister.

“If Flanders’s Christ really is God, it could be that He is the only way to get to end up in Heaven,”said the big brother.

“Our offense at Jesus…it really is not worth going to Hell for,” said the little sister.

“I would rather not spend eternity with Satan in Hell than I would spend eternity with Jesus in Heaven,” confessed the big brother good words of life.

“What do you think, Setter?” asked the little sister.

“I believe that that both of you just got brainwashed before my very eyes and ears,” said Setter.

The big brother said to Setter, “Little Brother, maybe you should leave Flanders alone.”

And the little sister said to Setter, “Big Brother, maybe you should start listening to Flanders.”

Setter cursed God and said, “Why, my own family is turning against me!”

Yet noncommittal, Setter’s two siblings did not say another word, neither for Flanders nor against Flanders.

“Say something, anything,” said the vexed Setter.

And the big brother said, “Flanders is right.  You are wrong.”

And the little sister said, “We three are wrong about Christ.  We three need to get right with Christ.”

Incensed, Setter cursed the man Flanders Nickels, and he said, “I swear unto the both of you today, ‘God do so to me and more, if I do not return home here tomorrow with the head of Flanders on the end of my unicorn horn!’”

And in a furious rage, Setter turned right back from where he had come, and he began a fierce gallop back to go get Flanders Nickels once and for all.

Yet not committed fully to God, the brother and sister unicorn took heed not to hinder or balk their offended brother from his plans of revenge.  And they spoke no more about God for now.  And

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then they went next door to their neighbors in their unicorn den, and they passed away the rest of the day playing unicorn games.

 

The griffin Pitch flew back home to his griffin den after his humiliating defeat at the hands of Flanders in their war of words.  In his staunch rejection of the Gospel that Flanders had preached and would not rescind, the dark black griffin spat out the Gospel’s message with utter demonic contempt:

“Christ died for our sins and rose again the third day.”  And Pitch cursed light.  And when he came back home to his griffin den, his mom and his dad were there, waiting for him and expecting to hear good news from their son.

“Did you kill the man, Son?” asked the dad.

“He’s dead now for sure.  Isn’t he?” asked the Mom.  “You did make sure that he was dead before you left him.”

“I’m sorry, Mom and Dad,” said Pitch.  “When I left him, he was still alive.”

“Careless for a griffin to not make sure that his victim in battle is not dead before that griffin leaves the battle.  Shame on you, Pitch,” said the dad.

“Dad, when I left him, he was very alive,” said Pitch.

“I trust, Son, that he was nonetheless very wounded when you left him,” said the mom.

“No, Mom.  Flanders was very well,” confessed Pitch.

“What happened?” asked the dad in a cold tone.

“His girlfriend’s blooming timber wolves were there with him, and those seven wolves quite chased me away,” said Pitch.

“A small pack of wolves like that should never prevail over a griffin, Son,” said the mom.

“Mortal wolves do not go after immortal griffins like that, Son,” rebuked the dad.  “What really happened?”

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“Mom, Dad,” said Pitch, “never was there a man that spoke like Flanders spoke to me about God when I came after him.  Griffin truth he explained as Devil’s lies.  And Griffin lies he explained as God’s truths.”

“And you believed him?” asked his dad.

“You do still belief that this Gospel is false,” said his mom.

“Do you doubt your son in his griffin nature?” asked Pitch.  “I shall never believe Flanders.  And I shall never believe in his Gospel.  I am ever a griffin through and through.  I shall never betray you, Mom and Dad.”

“A griffin of honor would rip the Bible out of a Christian’s hands,” said his dad.

“And he would peck that Book into pieces with his beak,” said his mom.

“That man of God wielded a bow and arrow that spoke louder even than his preaching,” said Pitch.

“We heard of this man’s weapon from God,” said his mom.

“God made his artillery and gave it to Flanders to slay griffins like ourselves,” said the dad.

“And to slay other demonic beasts who hate Jesus and who love the Devil,” said his mom.

“That famous Bronze Bow and Deerhide Quiver of Brass Arrows,” said Pitch. “I could not get past that to get at Flanders.”

“Not by land and not by air?” asked his dad.

“No, Dad,” said Pitch.

“You should have thought about attacking the weapon instead of attacking the man,” said his mom.

“The Bronze Bow cannot be broken by any beast good or evil,” began Pitch.  “Nor can it be bent by man or animal.  Nor can it be damaged or compromised even by a griffin.  It possesses magic from God.  And no black magic can prevail over God’s magic.  A griffin would find himself fighting

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against the Holy Spirit of God were he to try to grab that Bronze Bow and seek to destroy it.  It is literally enhanced with God’s own might.  Only Flanders can wield his Bronze Bow.  If anyone else thought to use it—were that someone else not born again like Flanders–he would be like to be struck dead by God Himself.”

His mom then went on to ask, “Could you have maybe run off with his arrows?”

“Alas, Mom, his Brass Arrows burn to the touch of any who oppose him and God in battles,” said Pitch.

“Any who oppose him and God in battles,” said his dad.  “That surely describes all of us griffins.”

“If I tried to grab some from his quiver by beak or by talon or by paw, I would get burned,” said Pitch.

“But our kind are experts at snatching arrows out of the air in their very flight,” said his dad.

“Nay, Dad.  The Brass Arrows are faster and stronger and more accurate than mankind’s arrows,” said Pitch.  “Griffins cannot snatch Flanders’s Brass Arrows out of the air.”

“Then go and rip open that accursed quiver!” yelled his dad.

“The Deerhide Quiver is fortified with pitch,” said Pitch.

“What is this ‘pitch?’” asked his mom and dad.

And Pitch said, “Pitch is what Noah sealed up the boards of his ark with to last through all the months on the water during the Great Flood, Mom and Dad.”

“Son, suddenly I no longer like your name,” said his dad.

“Would that I called you anything other than ‘Pitch,’” said his mom.

“Our son is no griffin,” said the dad to the mom.

“Our son glorifies Noah and God in the Bible,” said the mom to the dad.

“Utter shame on you, Son,” said the dad.

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“You shame all griffins,” said the mom.

Inside Pitch’s thoughts were himself as a griffin who had come to avenge himself upon the Christian man who preached the Gospel, and ended up losing everything he had for doing so.  But instead of even pondering repentance, he studied only how to reconcile himself to his mom and dad.

And that was by slaying Flanders Nickels to the uttermost.  And in his seething thoughts he no longer feared this man of God’s artillery.  He wanted only to be seen as a griffin once again in the eyes of his parents.  He now hated God and Christian alike with a fever exceeding even any griffin’s hatred of all that was Christ.  He was going to get Flanders.

And he vowed before them with a most passionate ire, “Mom, Dad, I am going to get Flanders.  I promise.  I will again be your griffin son. “

“Go, Son, and may the Devil be with you,” said his mom.

“Kill a Christian, and make your dad proud of you,” said his dad.

And at once Pitch lifted up into the skies, ascended up to the clouds, and quickly began to fly back for final battle against Flanders the Christian soldier.

 

Saur the great green dragon was flying back home to his dragon den.  He had just come from fighting with words with Flanders, and he had lost that battle ignominiously.  Dragons were not supposed to lose battles.  Dragons were not supposed to flee war.  Dragons were supposed to be invincible among man and beast of creation.  His draconic pride was wounded.  He was very embarrassed now as he thought about what he had just done in succumbing to a Christian man much smaller than himself.  And he wanted now to go back and make it all right for himself, by doing it right this second time and to make Flanders fall in battle before him.  But he had enough and too much for now.  He would come back another day and take care of such business in more favorable circumstances.  He needed to find that Flanders when his bow and arrow were not with him.  But

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Flanders was known as “the Christian soldier who was never without his weapon.”  And Saur swallowed his pride for now and said to himself, “I choose to live to fight another day.” Indeed Flanders had his God-wrought artillery with him even more than he did his Bible, and he was always carrying his Bible with him wherever he did go.

Then Saur was back home at his dragon den.  And when he lighted upon the ground, his son and  daughter came out to greet him with good cheer and great confidence in their father.

“Dad, how easy was today’s Christian to slay in battle?” asked his daughter.

“Not easy,” said Saur, evading telling the truth.  “Not easy at all,”

“How long did it take you, Dad?” asked his son.

“Oh, a little while,” said Saur, still avoiding the truth.  “Just a little while.”

“Less than a minute?” asked his daughter.

“Not quite less than a minute,” said Saur, stumbling with words.

“More than a minute?” asked his son.

“A little more than a minute,” said Saur, finding himself forced to maybe have to tell his kids the truth.

“You made that man of God real sorry for telling us dragons what he told us that day he came with that Bible to our dragon den, Dad,” his son bragged ignorantly on his father.

“Now that you finished with him, he will never come here again and tell us that only born-again believers like himself get to go to Heaven, Dad,” his daughter said, also bragging on him.

“Son, Daughter,” began Saur in great humbleness of confession, “your dad did not kill the Christian this time.”

“You didn’t?” they both asked simultaneously.

“I am sorry,” said Saur.  “I did not.”

“But why?” asked the son.

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“How come?” asked the daughter.

“Today, I saw a little man fight like a giant,” said Saur.  “I was the size of ten of him, but his God made him fight like the size of more than one of myself.”

“We don’t understand, Dad,” said the daughter.

“Yeah.  What do you mean?” asked the son.

“There was a little giant with him who came after me right away,” Saur began his true story.  “He was the size of three of Flanders.  And I was the size of three of that little giant.  He grabbed me and tried to overpower me.  I easily threw him off from around my neck, and he fell far away, and he could fight me no more.  He had no fear, but he did not have God.  And he got the worst of it with me.

And Flanders had no fear, either; but he had God.  And he feared only God.  And his God gave him divine courage from above as he stood before me.  I saw his girlfriend off to the side, kneeling upon her  knees with her head bowed.  She did not seem to be afraid of me, either.  And I saw another young woman, kneeling beside the little giant where he lay; she was crying, and she was shaking in fear.

“Dad, what happened?” asked his son.

“Why did you let a little man get to you like that?” asked his daughter.

“I shot fire out of my mouth that could have quickly burned down a house,” exclaimed the great green dragon.  “And he shot what could only have been an arrow made by God right into my great fire.

The fire should have consumed him right where he was standing.  But this strange arrow, with God’s power broke apart my fire into little pieces.  And those little pieces of fire fell to the ground all around that man, and they all missed him.”

“Dad, you never missed like that before,” said his son.

“A little bow and arrow put out your big fire,” said his daughter.

“Really, Dad,” said his son.

“He beat you.  Didn’t he?” asked his daughter.

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“Please do not put it that way, my daughter,” said the great green dragon.

“Sister,” said the son, “Dad got whopped.”

“Do not say such, O Son,” snapped the great green dragon.

“Dad, you’re a chump,” said the daughter.

“Go to your rooms,” commanded their dad.  And the two dragon children marched obediently to their rooms in the dragon den.  And Saur was alone.

The great green dragon began some hard thinking about himself.  He ruminated upon what this man full of the Holy Spirit had told him a dragon empty of the Holy Spirit.  Flanders had said to him, “I am going to Heaven, because I am born again.  You are not going to Heaven, because you are not born again.”

Heaven was a beautiful Place not to be missed out on.

The great green dragon pondered further words from this Christian archer, how he had said to Saur, “I am not going to Hell, because I am born again.  You are going to Hell, because you are not born again.”

Hell was an ugly place to have to go to.

Should he go and do something completely crazy and seek to become born again?  Would it be for the eternal good for his soul?  Could a dragon become born again as people did?  What would his family think?  What would his neighbors think?  What would his friends think?

Then he heard the voice of his daughter in her room speaking to his son in his room, “Dad has run amok.”

And the son in his room said to the daughter in her room, ‘Dad is sick now.”

These eight words came into his dragon ears and broke his dragon heart.  And any consideration that he had felt for becoming a Christian now dissolved into dissolution with the rebellion of a great dragon.  And the affinity he almost felt for becoming a believer just as suddenly became an aversion

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to becoming a believer.  And he said to the Devil and to the Lord, “I shall never seek to become born again!”  He would go now and make his children very proud of him.  And all the dragons in his dragon den would look up at him and honor him.  Yes, Saur must go back now to Flanders and slay him in battle for the words that he had said to him from the Bible and for all the trouble he had caused him just now and for having defeated him in battle.  And he could not wait now to kill himself a believer, this Flanders the worst believer of them all.  And without saying, “Good-bye,”  to his children in the next rooms, the great green dragon at once lifted up into the sky and began a long flight back to where Flanders was.  He desired great revenge greatly.  And Flanders would be dead finally.

 

Meanwhile, the Devil looked down from the skies way above the Earth, but all the more way below Heaven.  He saw his unicorn and his griffin and his dragon all hastily hurrying to go and get that man Flanders Nickels for having preached at them in their respective dens.  These three demonic beasts thought to be doing this on their own volition.  But in truth the Devil was the one who convinced these three to go and get that outspoken Christian.  Satan sent the evil unicorn and the evil griffin and the evil dragon.  Satan, above all, wanted Flanders dead.   And the Devil also wanted Jenney dead, too.  The Bible spoke about such children of the Devil as Setter and Pitch and Saur in John 8:44.  Therein is it written, “Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do.  He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him.  When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own:  for he is a liar, and the father of it.”

And these three children of the Devil rushing to do the Devil’s work, though they were fierce and formidable and faithful to him, they were indeed doing thus in haste.

 

 

 

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CHAPTER X

The gang of four were at Madison Square Garden for a women’s prize fight.   Tracey was on the card for tonight’s bout.  And she was to fight a woman boxer much stronger than herself.  Flanders and Jenney and Proffery were all together in the front row of seats at ringside.  They all expected to see their friend work over her opponent as she always did.  Tracey was good, real good.  And Tracey always won in the ring.  She would not let them down.

“What an arena this one is,” said Flanders.

“I’ve been here before,” said Jenney.

“It’s called ‘Madison Square Garden,’ and yet it is not even in Madison,” said Proffery.

“The trip will be worth it,” said Jenney,  “It always is,”

“I love to see my girlfriend fight,” said Proffery.

“It still seems strange to me to go and see women punch and get punched,” said Flanders.

“It’s a man thing,” said Proffery.  “Men get turned on seeing real women box.”

“I think that I agree, Proffery,” said Flanders.  “I’m going to enjoy this prize fight for sure.”

“Go, Tracey!” cheered Jenney.

Then the ring announcer spoke and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to women’s

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professional boxing.”  And the three friends at ringside stopped their chatting and turned toward the ring to watch and see.  The ring announcer continued.  “This is the main bout of the day.  The winner of this bout will go on to fight the women’s champion one month from today right here.”

“My girlfriend the champion!” cheered Proffery.

The ring announcer continued, “In this corner, wearing the white top and the white trunks, weighing in at 120 pounds and standing five feet eight inches tall, with a record of thirty wins and zero losses, is the ladies’ number two contender—Tracey Index Title.”  Her three friends in this front row, chanted,  “Tracey!  Tracey!  Tracey!”

And half of the fans in this arena also chanted, “Tracey!  Tracey!  Tracey!”

Then the ring announcer continued the introductions, saying, “And in this corner, wearing the black top and the black trunks, weighing in at 150 pounds and standing five feet one inch tall, with a record of forty wins and zero losses, is the ladies’ number one contender—Alpaca Mean Punch.”

And the other half of the fans in this arena chanted, “Alpaca!  Alpaca!  Alpaca!”

“Look at the arms of that woman!” said Proffery.  “They look like they pack a mean punch!”

“I wonder if that is her real name or just her fighting name,” said Flanders.

“I heard good things about her,” said Jenney.  “She fights clean, and she respects her opponents, and she is popular for all the right reasons.”

“Just like my Tracey,” said Proffery.

“Yeah,” said Flanders. “That is good to hear.”

Then the two women prize fighters met in the center of the ring with the referee.  He said to them, “Ladies, let’s have a clean fight.  Touch hands.  Back to your corner.  And protect yourself at all times.”  In sportsmanship, Tracey and Alpaca touched gloves and went back to their corners, and they awaited the bell.

And the bell rang, and the two women pugilists met in the center of the ring.  Tracey was

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light upon her feet and hopping around in a boxer’s dance and had a spring to her steps.  Not so with Alpaca.  Alpaca’s stance was stationary and immobile.

“Why, that girl is flat-footed,” said Proffery of Alpaca.

“She stands like a statue,” said Flanders.  “Is that bad for a boxer who does that?”

And Jenney said, “She looks solid as a brick wall,”

Proffery said, “The woman is stronger than is my Tracey, but she looks to be sticking out her chin.”

“Is that bad for Alpaca?” asked Flanders.

“It is bad for Alpaca and good for Tracey,” said Proffery.  “Alpaca is just asking for a knockout punch from Tracey by doing that.”

Then Tracey threw the first punch of the bout.   She threw an uppercut right toward that underside of that extended chin of Alpaca’s.  Lo, Alpaca most deftly threw back her head out of the way of Tracey’s glove, and Tracey had a clean miss.

“What happened there, Proffery?” asked Flanders.

“Tracey seems to have gotten tricked by Alpaca,” said Proffery.

“A decoy,” said Jenney.  “I never saw Tracey miss as bad as that before.”

“Miss Punch has most unusual ways about her, it seems,” said Flanders.

“The woman is still flat on her feet,” said Proffery.  “She cannot fight very strong like that, even with her big biceps.”

“Is that also asking for a punch like sticking out her chin was, Proffery?” asked Flanders.

“It is, Flanders,” said Proffery.  “She is making herself an easy target standing there like that and not moving around.”

And Tracey fired a left roundhouse toward the woman’s belly.  But Alpaca blocked it with both of her gloves.  “What happened there?” asked Flanders.

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“Tracey, you missed,” said Jenney.

“Again,” said Flanders.

“Why, that is another trick,” said Proffery.

“Is that another decoy, Proffery?” asked Jenney.

“That tough boxer is baiting Tracey,” said Proffery.

“For what?” asked Flanders.

“I don’t know,” said Proffery.  “But I think that she is fighting her fight, and that Tracey is not fighting her fight.”

“That sounds like a good way for Tracey to lose,” said Flanders.

Then Miss Punch lowered her gloves down to chest level.  Proffery said, “Look!  Now Alpaca is no longer protecting her head.  If Tracey can get a good shot at her head, she might stun her some.”

“Hit her, Tracey!” cheered Jenney.

“Strike her clock, Tracey!” cheered Flanders.

“Ring her bell, Tracey!” cheered Proffery.

And Tracey threw her punch—a roundhouse toward Alpaca’s exposed head toward her ear.  Lo, Alpaca jerked her head away from Tracey’s glove, and Tracey missed for her third time early yet in this round one.

“Decoyed again!” said Proffery.

“Another trick,” said Jenney.

“This bout is not going well for Tracey at all,” said Flanders.

“That Alpaca Punch is elusive with her dodging and weaving and feinting,” said Proffery.

“Just like Muhammad Ali was in his younger days in the ring,” said Flanders.

“It seems like no matter what Tracey does, Alpaca makes sure that Tracey will miss,” said Jenney.

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Proffery went on to say, “In this day yet in boxing, women boxers have not yet mastered defense as men have in men’s boxing.”

“I have seen nothing but defense from that Alpaca from the very start tonight, Proffery,” said Flanders.

“Indeed consummate defense,” said Proffery. “I fear for my girlfriend’s undefeated record now for my first time.”

“Well, it does not look like this so great big Alpaca can hit like she can dodge,” said Flanders.

“Not so fast, Flanders,” said Proffery.  “That woman’s offense is even more professional than is her defense.”

“Do you really think so, Proffery?” asked Flanders.

“I know women’s boxing,” said Proffery.  “I have been at every one of Tracey’s fights.  And this

opponent she is boxing with now is a better boxer than is Tracey.”

“Oh,” said Jenney.  “I can’t look.”  And she covered her eyes with her hands.

Round one continued.  Flanders and Proffery watched with glued eyes.  And after a short while, Jenney took her hands away from her eyes to take a long look.  The rest of this first round, Alpaca continued her decoys and her superior defense, and as she was doing this, Tracey was throwing her hardest punches at her and missing every time.  And when the bell rang ending round one, Alpaca had not yet thrown even one punch.  And she was still fresh with much energy.  But Tracey was winded and breathing hard from her fierce and ineffective work in this ring.

“Look at her sitting there,” said Jenney in between rounds, Tracey resting on a little stool in the corner.  “I never saw Tracey sweat like that in the ring before after only one round.”

“Her arms are fatigued,” said Proffery.

“Her eyes are dazed, and she did not even get a glove laid on her,” said Flanders.

And then the bell rang for round two.  Miss Punch leaped off of her stool and ran to the center

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of the ring and waited for Miss Title to come to her.  Tracey rallied and stood up from her stool and hesitated coming to the center of the ring.

Knowing women’s boxing, Proffery bade his girlfriend, “Get away from the ropes, girl.  Don’t let yourself get trapped in the corner with this woman.”

Tracey obeyed her boyfriend, and she came to the center of the ring to again take on this stronger and shorter woman than herself.

“Tracey does have long arms,” said Flanders.  “The other girl has short arms.”

“My girlfriend definitely has the reach advantage, Flanders,” said Proffery.

Jenney spoke and said, “And Tracey is also a good seven inches taller than the other woman is, Proffery.”

“That may or may not be an advantage for Tracey,” said Proffery.

“Alpaca has to punch up to reach Tracey, and Tracey has to punch down to reach Alpaca,” said Flanders.

And Proffery cheered his girlfriend, saying, “Girl, win one for the wrestler!”

Tracey took a good look at her boyfriend, and she knew that he wanted her to win this prize fight for him, and she smiled in affection at him.  And Tracey Title rallied here in this second round, and she worked herself hard with the same fierce assault as she had in the first round.  Nevertheless, her very clever opponent continued decoying her with her tricks, eluding every single glove that Tracey threw at her.  And then the bell rang, ending round two.  The two boxers returned to their stools in their corners.  Miss Punch remained standing by her stool.  Tracey fell down bottom-first upon her stool.

“Another whole round and still Alpaca has not thrown one punch,” said Jenney.

Flanders said, “Tracey looks like she got beat up pretty bad.”

Proffery said, “I predict a knockout in round three.”

“A KO?” asked Jenney.

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“Yes,” said Proffery.

“For Tracey?” asked Jenney.

“No,” said Proffery.  “Of Tracey.”

“That has never happened to the woman in all of her career,” said Flanders.

“There is one thing that she can do, maybe, that could change the tide of this prize fight in her favor,” said Proffery.

“Do you mean that she can still win this fight, Proffery?” asked Jenney.

“Yes,” said Proffery.  “She can start doing to Alpaca what Alpaca has done to her.”

“You mean Alpaca’s tricks can be turned against her.  Don’t you?” asked Flanders.

“”Yes, Flanders,” said Proffery.  “If Tracey starts to do this steel curtain defense that Alpaca has been doing and wearing out Tracey with these past two rounds in doing so, then maybe my girlfriend can do the same to Alpaca and wear her out in the rounds to come.  Then my Tracey could win maybe.”

Jenney yelled out to her best friend, “Tracey do unto Alpaca what Alpaca has done to you!”

The two young women looked at each other.  And Tracey understood:  She needed to stop wearing out herself with punches and start letting Alpaca wear herself out with punches, at the same time Tracey dodging and weaving and feinting.

And the bell rang for round three.  Confidence in Alpaca’s countenance and hope in Tracey’s countenance, the two met in the center of the ring for more prize fight.  Alpaca stood there, waiting for Tracey to try to connect to her with her boxing glove. And Tracey stood there, waiting for Alpaca to throw a punch at her.  Nothing happened between them for a good thirty seconds into this round three.

Than Alpaca Mean Punch threw her first punch of this boxing match.  It was a bone-jarring punch that hit harder than most men boxers could hit.  It was a ferocious stiff left jab right to the nose of Tracey.

And Tracey Title was quite knocked clear out of the ring!  Her head and her torso and her legs were sent flying over the ropes and out of the ring and down onto the floor of the arena.  She fell hard upon

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the cement floor on her bottom right before where her three friends were sitting in the very first row.

And she was instantly knocked out cold.  Miss Punch went over to her corner.  The referee came to the side of the ring where Tracey had been sent flying.  And he began to count her out, “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.  You’re out!”

Then Alpaca Punch came to the center of the ring again, and the ring announcer said, “Winner by knockout, thirty-one seconds into the third round, and still undefeated, Alpaca Mean Punch!”  And the referee held up the victorious woman boxer’s left arm, her left boxing glove that had finished off Tracey now in front of all the arena to see.  And the arena chanted her name, “Alpaca!  Alpaca!  Alpaca!”

Down upon the arena floor, the supine Tracey started to come to.  The doctors who checked her out said that she was going to be just fine.  And Tracey opened her eyes and saw her three best friends on their knees around her, all three ever-faithful and ever-loyal in defeat as well as in victory.  And the first thing she said was, “My nose hurts.”

Proffery said, “George Foreman himself never hit that hard, girl.”

“What hit me?” asked Tracey.

“A stiff left jab, girlfriend,” said Proffery.

Laughing, Tracey joked and said, “I was always a sucker with a southpaw.”  And all four laughed together.

“It is good to see you all right, best friend,” said Jenney.

“Just like Dempsey and Firpo,” said Tracey.

“Yes, woman,” said Proffery.  “Just like Dempsey and Firpo.”  And all four laughed again.

Then Tracey, stronger now and okay now and revived now, got back to her feet.  She took a few uncertain steps.  Then she took a few certain steps.  Then she said, “I could eat a horse.”

“Yes!” said Proffery.  “Let’s eat!  I’m hungry.”

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“I’m a lot hungry,” said Jenney.

“I’m a lot more hungry,” said Flanders.

“But I’m the most hungry,” said Tracey.

“Don’t mind my girlfriend,” said Proffery.  “She always gets hungry after a nap.”

And all four laughed.  Then they spent the next few days traveling back to their four homes in the Wisconsin countryside.

And they arrived at Jenney’s Country House in the morning.  Jenney said to her pet wolves, “Thank you, good boys, for taking us four there and back again.  Tonight there will be porkettas for each of you.”  And the wolves drooled in savor of anticipation.  Then the four got together on Jenney’s front porch to look upon the yellow sun of late sunrise.  The beguiler girl and Flanders were on one porch swing, and Tracey and Proffery were on the other porch swing.  And they talked about wolves.

Then, after a while, Jenney spoke up and said, “Where are my wolves?  I don’t see them out there.”

“Maybe they’re off hunting,” said Proffery.

“They never hunt in the morning,” said Jenney.

“You don’t think that they went into your gym.  Do you?” asked Tracey.

“My wolves know better than to step foot into my Rural Gymnasium,” said Jenney.

“Maybe they are out back, playing wolf games,” said Flanders.

“When my wolves play wolf games, I can hear them a mile away,” said Jenney.

“They must be in the gym,” said Flanders.

“Naughty wolves,” said Tracey.

“Something must be wrong,” said Flanders.

“That is not like them,” said Jenney.

And the four marched up to the Rural Gym and looked in and went in.  Behold, seven timber

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wolves making a stand against a spotted and speckled great white unicorn.  The wolves were forcing the unicorn back against the wall, and the unicorn was hissing and swinging his unicorn horn all about in threat and peril to the wolves.

“Setter!” Flanders addressed this unicorn trespasser.

“Flanders Nickels of God,” Setter said unto him.

“What brought you into my girlfriend’s gymnasium?” demanded Flanders.

“The knowledge that you are very likely to be found in here and watching your girlfriend do her tricks for you,” said Setter.

“Your battle is with me only,” said Flanders.  “Leave my girlfriend out of your attacks.”

“As is the man of God, so is the woman of God,” said Setter.  Then Setter turned to Jenney, and he said, “Young mistress, call your pet wolves away from me.  They are crowding me most vexatiously.”

“That I shall not do, evil Setter,” said Jenney.  “They are doing good in my eyes and in God’s eyes.”

“My mortal lady, the Devil do unto me and more also, if I do not now scatter your beloved wolves where they stand unto their own most grievous wounds,” threatened Setter.  Brandishing his long and strong and sharp unicorn horn, he then said, “Unless you call them off of me at once.”

She looked at Flanders, and she asked him, “Can he really do that?”

“I would think that he can do that,” said Flanders.

“What do you think, Tracey?” asked Jenney.

Tracey said, “Let me punch him, Jenney.”

“Proffery, what would you say?” asked Jenney.

“He is smaller than that nasty dragon,” said Proffery, sizing up this evil unicorn.  “I should give him one of my flying drop kicks.  That will make him stop trash-talking like that about your wolves.”

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Again, Flanders spoke, and he said, “Setter, if my girlfriend dispatches her wolves, and we can battle alone, you and I, and if you leave my three friends alone, would you spare the lives of these seven wolves?’

“Of course I will, O man of Christ,” said Setter.  “After I kill the wolves first.”

This most overt threat upon her seven pets incensed Jenney, and she lost her temper, and she said to her seven wolves, “Sick him, boys!”

And Timber and company assaulted Setter, seven against one.  And the seven got the worst of it from the one.   Setter swung and parried and feinted with his unicorn horn with the finesse and power of a great sword fighter with his sword.  And very quickly seven fearless Timber wolves were wounded and fallen in battle and fearful in defeat.  Their mistress saw this happen right in front of her, and she fell down upon her knees before God Above and prayed, “Lord, let not my wolves die!”

And Setter saw this young mistress in her utter consternation and sudden humbleness, and he laughed at her in gloating.

In battle words, Flanders said, “You hurt my girlfriend just now more than you hurt her wolves.

Prepare for battle to the death, O Setter of the Devil!”

“Go to my father!” cursed the insolent demonic unicorn.

“And may my Father judge you this day for your sins of all your days!” Flanders cursed Setter.

And Flanders drew a Brass Arrow from his Deerhide Quiver and nocked it in the Bronze Bow’s string.

“Shall we fight outside, Flanders?” asked Setter, craftily.

“It is too crowded inside for battle to the death between you and me, Setter,” said Flanders, wary of any unicorn tricks.

“After you, O Christian warrior,” said Setter, standing before an exit door.

“I will not turn my back on you, O sly unicorn demon,” said Flanders.  “After you.”

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And Setter replied, “Nor I, my back, to you.”

“Let us go through two adjacent exit doors,” said Flanders.

“I consent,” said Setter.

And Setter began to walk through the left exit door, and Flanders began to walk through the right exit door.  The unicorn, halfway through his exit door, his self right in the doorway itself, suddenly kicked his door hard to the right with his unicorn hoof, hoping to knock down or knock senseless his foe in battle with this heavy door.  Flanders, most artful in battle also himself, did not go halfway through his exit, nor did he step out as far as into the doorway itself.  Instead Flanders stopped his exit right inside the gym and just in front of the threshold.  Lo, the heavy steel door kicked by the unicorn crashed into the halfway opened steel door of Flanders in front of where he stood.  And both doors were knocked right off of their hinges and fell with a thud to the earth.  Flanders, ever tactical, had considered such a ploy, and, being yet inside, he was not hit.  His doorway and Setter’s doorway now without their doors, Flanders Nickels now came out into the outdoors with a most intimidating look of retaliation in his countenance, and he glared at the outsmarted unicorn with vengeance in his heart.

And Setter was unnerved before the Christian soldier so discriminating in his mission for Jesus as demonic beast slayer.

But this evil unicorn’s close proximity to the archer of God rendered Flanders’s nocked arrow too close for firing and the unicorn horn one thrust away from Flanders’s chest.  And Setter was beginning to see this just as Flanders did.  Very quickly Flanders posed a temptation that no unicorn of God could say, “No,” to.  Flanders tempted this Setter with a challenge, saying to him, “Setter, how good are unicorns at batting arrows away with their horn?”

“We are the best at that,” said Setter,   “And I am the best unicorn at doing that of all unicorns.”

“Shall we say, ‘One hundred paces?’” asked Flanders.

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“Shall we say ‘One Brass Arrow?’” asked Setter, quickly gaining an upper hand in this battle.

“My life for one shot,” proffered Flanders.

“If you miss, then you forfeit your life before me willingly,” said Setter.

“That is what I mean,” said Flanders.  “And if I do not miss,…”

“My life for one hit,” agreed Setter.

“If my arrow hits you and does not kill you, you willingly forfeit your life to me,” said Flanders.

“And if my arrows hits you and does kill you, it is all over.”

“Those sound like most agreeable terms of battle to me, Flanders of God,” said Setter.

And they turned and each paced fifty steps in opposite directions, and they turned back around to face each other.  And by this, Flanders saved his life for now from that unicorn horn of Setter who had been right in front of him by the doors.

“God be with you, boyfriend,” said Jenney Halsey.

“Prepare to meet your God, Flanders Arckery Nickels,” said Setter.

“To God be such glory,” praised Flanders Christ.

And he drew back his bow, aimed his arrow at Setter’s head, just below the horn and between the eyes, and he let fly this arrow of God.

With the wiles of Satan, Setter swung his unicorn horn from above to below to seek to become the first soldier of the Devil to knock down a famous Brass Arrow of Flanders in its flight before it could strike him down.  But with the wisdom of God in His Holy Spirit, the famous Flanders’s Brass Arrow struck hard and deep and deadly right into Setter’s forehead, just below his unicorn horn, and between his eyes.  Shocked, the speckled and spotted white unicorn stood there for just a moment.

Mortified, the great unicorn crossed his eyes to gaze upon this invincible arrow in his head.  Then, defeated to the uttermost, Setter fell dead upon his side in battle, and moved and fought and breathed no more.

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“You did it!  You did it!” cheered out Jenney in great fervid wonder.  “I thank you for forever, Lord!”  And she ran up to Flanders and hugged him in great relief and gratefulness.

“God cannot miss,” said Flanders.  “Praise the Lord of my artillery.”

Tracey said, “This was intense.”

And Proffery said, “This is big, really big.”

“Your wolves, Jenney,” said Flanders.

And the mistress of her wolves quickly ran back up to them.  She stood over each of them where they lay one by one and asked them each, “Are you going to be okay?”  And each of the seven beloved pets raised their heads and shone love in their eyes at their mistress and gave a low wolf purring that they were not going to die on her.  And after this, Jenney Halsey declared to her friends among her here, “They are all going to live.”

“Praise the God of creation,” said Flanders.  “He takes care for His wolves.”

“I can see God in all of this today,” said Proffery.

“And I can see the God of love in what happened today,” said Tracey.

“Amen!’ said Flanders.

“Yes!” said Jenney.  “’Amen!’ to that!”  Then she said, “Thank you, boyfriend.”

“Yes,” said Tracey.  “Thanks, Flanders.”

“Thanks from me, too, Flanders,” said Proffery.

“I thank God,” said Flanders, the archer of Christ who again prevailed in battle between good and evil.

 

 

 

 

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CHAPTER XI

The beguiler girl and her boyfriend were riding his saber-toothed tiger Sawtooth on their way to Sunday Morning Worship at So Great Salvation Baptist Temple.  This Sunday was to be indeed a Sunday of Sundays for the girlfriend and the boyfriend.  They were going to get baptized today and become official members of this little Baptist church in the countryside.

“You know the order, Jenney,” he said, “according to the Bible.”

“Yeah.  I do,” she said.  “First comes salvation; second comes believer’s baptism; third comes church membership.”

“Acts 2:41,” he said.

And she recited this verse, “Then they that gladly received his word were baptized:  and the same day there were added unto them about three thousand souls.”

“What a sermon that Peter preached that day!” exclaimed Flanders.

“Not just any preaching can win three thousand souls all at once like that, Flanders.” said the beguiler girl.

“…And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved,” recited Flanders another verse just right for this day.

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“That’s Acts 2:47, Flanders,” said Jenney this verse’s reference.

“Now you and I will be able to vote at all of the church business meetings,” said Jenney.

“We should have gotten baptized long ago, Jenney,” he said.

“Yeah.  Pastor kept asking us about that,” said Jenney.  “We were in disobedience not doing this long ago.”  Then she said, “At least we are doing it now.”

“Pastor always told us about that, ‘Delayed obedience is disobedience.’” said Flanders.

“Yeah.  He was right,” said the beguiler girl.  “I wonder how many blessings we missed out on in not getting baptized like this until finally today.”

“How come you waited so long, Jenney?” he asked.

“Because I never had my head under water before, and I was afraid to find out what it was like,” she said.  “How come you waited so long, Flanders?”

“Because I don’t know how to swim,” he said, “even though none swim in baptism.”

“But what will happen to my gymnastics leotard if I get it wet?” she asked.

“You must have gotten it wet before a few times,” he said.

“Not like that—with my head and my whole self down to my bottom going underwater like that,” said the beguiler girl.

“You must have been caught in a rainstorm a few times in your gymnastics leotard, girl,” he said.

“Uh huh,” she said with a nod.

“Heavy rainstorms, Jenney?” he asked.

“Oh yes.  Lots of them,” said Miss Halsey.

“Did anything bad happen to your gymnastics leotard from all of that rain?” he asked.

“Uh uh,” she said with a shake of her head.

“And snowstorms, probably, too,” he said.  “I’m sure falling snow came down upon your outfit,

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my gal,”

“Yes.  Lots, Flanders,” she said.  “But snow is different than rain.”

“Nothing bad will come to your favorite outfit when Pastor will baptize you,” said Flanders.

“Marsh Pond,” she said out loud, “right behind our church.”

“Right after the morning service,” he said.

“Your baptism and my baptism,” she said.

“We are almost there,” he said.

“I see the church now,” she said.

“Mush, Sawtooth,” said the master.  “Mush.”  And the saber-toothed tiger carrying the two church people ran all the faster for the final span of trip to this church.

 

“What is worship?” asked Pastor Parsons from behind the pulpit in the beginning of today’s sermon.  “What does a child of God do with God that makes worship?  What kinds of activities are included in worship?  What is the worship that glorifies God? Today I will preach on six means of worship of which the Bible has much to say.  Today I shall preach on prayer, Bible-reading, going to church, witnessing, singing of hymns, and giving of our tithes and offerings.”

“Amen!” said the whole flock in the auditorium.

And Pastor continued, “First of all, I shall preach on praying.  Turn with me, if you would, to Matthew 6:6.”  The flock searched this Scripture, and Pastor read it out loud before them:  “But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.”  Then Pastor said, “’Praying’ is ‘asking.’  When you pray, you pray to your Heavenly Father.  And when you close your prayer, you do so in Jesus’s name.  The beginning of your prayer must say something like this:  ‘Dear Heavenly Father.’  And the end of your prayer must say something like this, ‘In Jesus’s name.  Amen.’  And all

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the words of your prayer between the salutation and the closing, simply let the Holy Spirit guide them and say them for you.  What kinds of things does God’s Word say that we should pray for?  Well, for starters, we need to pray for our government leaders.  Pray for our President and our Vice President that they get saved.  And pray for the salvation of our President’s cabinet and for all the governors of our fifty states and        for all our mayors of all of our cities of America.  And pray for the salvation of our congressmen and our senators.  And pray for the Chief Justice and the other justices of our Supreme Court, that they may get saved, too.   And pray, also, for the missionaries out on the field.  I am a missionary.  I am a Baptist church planter.  I am your pastor.  Pray that we missionaries do not get discouraged.  Pray for us home missionaries, that we can edify and build up in the faith our flocks.  And pray for the foreign missionaries, that they can give out the Word of God freely.    And pray for the lost, also.  All of us have loved ones and friends and neighbors who are still lost in their sins. Pray that God open their hearts and take away their blindness and humble their pride, that they get saved as we are saved.  You might say, ‘But, Pastor, I’ve been praying for them for years, and they still didn’t get saved.’  I say then unto you, ‘Keep praying for them.  It could be that your prayers are keeping them alive a little while longer that they might repent and get saved themselves down the road.’  And we are commanded in the Bible to pray for the sick.  Pray that God raise the sick back to health and strength.

And we should pray for one another here in So Great Salvation Baptist Temple.  Some of us maybe be more spiritual; some of us may be less spiritual.  Hence what the Scriptures call, ‘those who can eat meat,’ and ‘those who must drink milk.’  You more longtime believers, pray for the new converts with humility and compassion and love.  There is always hope that that babe in Christ will grow spiritually in Christ and become a mature believer.  As Colossians puts it, ‘…; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory:’  And also we need to pray for ourselves, O flock.  We born-again believers need to get alone with God every day, ask Him to search our hearts, and confess to Him our sins.  This is called, ‘keeping short tabs with God.’  And prayer should also include sundry and diverse thanksgivings and praises to

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God quite regularly.  Giving thanks and giving praises do not mean the same thing.  Giving thanks to God is extolling Him for what He has done for us—like blessings and rewards and good things.  And giving praises to God is extolling Him for what He is—as in His unique divine attributes, such as His omnipotence and omniscience and omnipresence, to name three of them.  When should we pray?  Some of you pray in the morning.  That is good.  Some of you pray in the evening.  That is good.  Turn off the TV.  Turn off the radio.  Get away from the computer.  Get alone with God every day.  Pour out your heart to Him.  And talk to Him just as you do your best friend.  And talk to Him spontaneously and sincerely and specifically and humbly.  When I pray, I chat with God.  As the Bible says, ‘We should always be in the attitude of prayer.’  And do not be a Christian who only prays to God when you need something.  Pray to God not only in bad times, but in good times, as well.  And God will honor that.”

“Amen, Pastor!” said the flock.

And Pastor continued his sermon, “Next I shall preach upon Bible study.  Turn with me, if you would to II Timothy 2:15.”  The good flocked searched out this scripture verse, and Pastor read it out loud to them:  “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”  Then Pastor said, “How often should we open up our Bible?  Well the Berean Christians in Paul’s day were said to truly ‘search the Scriptures daily.’  We believers of these days ought to do in like.  All Christians should be in love with the Word of God.  The Holy Bible should be the most read book in our house or apartment.  This Good Book which I have in my hands must be more important to us than the Readers’ Digest or the Green Bay Press-Gazette or the TV Guide.  And the correct Bible for the English-speaking people is the Authorized King James Version Bible.  The New International Version is not the true Bible.  The New King James Version is not the true Bible.  All of the other modern translations of the Bible are not the true Bibles.  These are the false Bibles, which add to and take away from and change the Word of God.  In the close to the book of

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Revelation, God gives the world two warnings.  In the first warning, God says about those who add to the Word of God, ‘[I] shall add unto them the plagues which are written in this book.’  And in the second warning, God says about those who take away from the Word of God:  ‘[I] shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.’

Woe unto the money-making Bible scholars who write their own Bibles!  They are doomed to the utmost.  The Bible does not need to be rewritten; it needs to be reread.  Good flock, remember the great sacrifices endured by the Godly Christians who have translated for us into English the Good Book which we all are holding in our hands right now four hundred years later.  This Good Book is the King James Bible.  And the translators of this King James were beaten and tortured and burned at the stake for the cause of Christ, all such persecution wrought by the Roman Catholic church.  The Devil loves all of these false translations out there, because they end up causing doubt and confusion as to the Word of God among Christendom.  Child of God, stick to the K.J.V.”

“Amen.” said the flock.

Pastor continued his sermon of the morning:  “Next I would like to talk about church.  Turn with me, if you would, to Hebrews 10:25.”  The flock searched this Scripture and found it and listened as Pastor recited this:  “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”  He then preached thus:  “Here in these last days before the Lord comes, we ought to gather together more and more, not less and less.  Jesus said in the book of Matthew:  ‘For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.’  Now Christ is with us believers wherever we are, whether we are alone or with others.  But He is with us here in church in a very special way when we meet and worship Him together.  God loves fellowship, and we ought to love fellowship as well.  I know of some Baptist churches out there that have eliminated their mid-week services.  Some no longer have Sunday School.   Where is that in the Bible?  When the doors of So Great Salvation Baptist Temple are open,

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every one of you should be here.  It is a sin against a holy God to stay home from church.  Now if you are sick or at work, then you cannot come.  There are some who are not here this morning who should be here.  And some will stay home tonight and watch TV.  They do not want God to speak to them in the message.  Oh, someone will speak to them—it will be C.B.S., N.B.C., A.B.C., or Fox.  When a member of my flock does not come to church, that tells me that they do not want to hear what I have to say.  But I know for the faithful here, that they do not wake up on Sunday mornings and ask themselves, ‘Do I feel like coming to church?”  These are not the ones who stay in bed and sleep in on the Lord’s day.  And these are not the ones who come faithfully only to the Sunday Morning Worship and skip out on the other three services we have in the week.  There are 168 hours in the week. Is not God worth four hours a week to come to church?  Make this church your home away from home.  Make God your top priority.  And you will feel better after having come to church.”

“Amen!” said the good little flock of God.

Pastor Parsons continued, “Next I would like to talk to you about soul-winning.  Turn with me, if you would, to Psalm 126:5-6.”  The parishioners searched this Scripture, and Pastor recited it before them:  “They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.  He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.”  Pastor continued, “So

Great Salvation Baptist Temple has a soul-winning program.  It is called ‘Saturday Morning Visitation.’ as you all know.  Every Saturday morning the men of the church meet here, and we have a word of prayer, and we go out knocking on doors for two hours, spreading the Word of God.  In no place in the Bible does God command the lost to come to church.  But in many places in the Bible does God command the church to come to the lost.  That is visitation.  Some churches have their visitation on Thursday evenings.  That’s all right.  We used to have it on Thursday evenings.  But I found out that Saturday morning works better for us here.  The Good Lord has always provided me with a partner

as we go door to door.  As Flanders says about his pastor, ‘Every day is visitation for him.’  And as

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I always say about soul-winning, ‘Contact; opportunity; responsibility.’”  Pastor then reached and took up a salvation tract from his pulpit and held it up before his flock.  And he said, “Take these with you wherever you go, and give them out.  If a telemarketer calls you on the phone, don’t hang up; tell him about the love of Christ and try to get him saved on the phone.  If the Jehovah’s Witnesses or the Mormons come to your door, try to witness to them and get them saved.  But do not let them into your house and do not bid them Godspeed.  And when you meet someone on the street, give him one of these tracts and tell him, ‘This will tell you how to get to Heaven.’  When you mail out your telephone bill or your electric bill, put a tract in the envelope.  I, myself, put tracts in business reply mails and mail them back to somewhere, where there might be a soul in need of salvation. We have plenty of tracts here in the church to give out.  What is one soul worth?  Indeed more than all the wealth of the world!  It is estimated that only two percent of the world’s population is born again.  And right now the population of this world is 6,500,000,000.  That means that there are 130,000,000 born-again Christians in this Earth.  That sounds like a whole lot of born-again believers.  But the unsaved of the world, myself working with math to figure it out, number 6,470,000,000.  That is a whole lot more of unbelievers.  These lost of the world who number so very much, are our harvest field.  And who is going to tell them about Jesus?  Not the lost.  They do not know anything about Jesus.  Not a carnal Christian.  He does not love God.  Not a silent Christian.  He is too timid and ashamed of God.  Bur surely a spiritual Christian.  And we at our Baptist church must live our Christian lives as ambassadors for Christ.  Some misinformed Christians think and say that soul-winning is a gift.  Wrong!  Soul-winning is not a gift.  Soul-winning is a commandment for every man and woman and child of God, a most essential ‘Thou shalt’ for all born-again Christians everywhere and for here, too.  When Jesus Himself walked this Earth in the holy land two thousand years ago, He saw the multitudes of the lost folk out there, and He saw them as ‘sheep that have no Shepherd,’ and He had compassion upon them.

I heard of one Baptist church in the area that had come upon strife and jealousy and ill feelings among

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their laborers-for-Christ in their visitation program.  They were in contention one with another over who would win the most souls.  And their pastor went ahead and quit his church’s Thursday Evening Visitation, and they no longer go house to house with the Gospel.  I tell you, ‘The Devil is jumping up and down in joy over that church right now.  Satan had the victory in that church.’  I exhort you men of the church, do not fall into the same jealousy over who wins the most souls in this church.  We witness-warriors are not the one who do the saving; our Lord is the One Who does the saving.  We witness-warriors are simply God’s messengers.  I know of one dear old lady that I had led to Christ.  She always went around and introduced me to her friends and said to them, ‘This is Pastor Parsons.  He saved me.’  I always kept telling her, ‘I did not save you.  Jesus saved you.’  She was a dear soul.  She’s in Heaven now.”

“Amen, Pastor Parsons,” said the flock.

Then Pastor continued today’s sermon, “Let me now talk to you about singing hymns.  Turn with me, if you would, to Psalm 66:1-2.”  The little flock of God searched this Scripture passage, and the pastor recited these two verses:  “Make a joyful noise unto God, all ye lands:  Sing forth the honour of his name:  make his praise glorious.’”  Then Pastor said, “You all know what my favorite hymns are:

‘How Great Thou Art!’  ‘The Old Rugged Cross,’ ‘In the Garden,’ ‘Jesus Paid It All.’  And you know how Jenney here loves the hymns about Heaven.  And you know how Flanders here loves the hymns that are Christmas carols.  As you know, the Bible commands us to ‘make a joyful noise unto the Lord’ in many places.  That simply means to ‘sing unto God.’  What kinds of songs should we sing to God and about God and of God?  In the book of Ephesians, God’s Word tells us:  These songs are to be ‘psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.’  That tells us that rock and roll music should not be a part of the believers’ lives.  And that means also not country and western music.  And especially rap is to be avoided in the life of the Christian.  And pop rock is sin as well.  All of this is the music of the world, and this music of the world has the beat of the world to it.  And we believers are called out of the

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world.  The Devil is in this music of the world.  He loves this music.  When I go about and see young people playing loud rock music, I start to think, ‘I know that the Devil is talking to them in that music, but I do not know what the Devil is saying to them.  And they do not know that the Devil is talking to them in that music, but they do know what the Devil is saying to them.’  Children and grown-ups here in this service, what kind of music do you listen to in your private time?  The way you are at church now should be the way you are at home right after.  And do not listen to what is called ‘Christian rock music.’  A rock hits hard.  And it may glorify God in its words, but it glorifies Satan in its beat.  As for myself, before I got saved, I used to listen to Buddy Holly albums.  But then I got saved, and God put a new song in my heart, and I repented of my Buddy Holly records.  At once I put them all out on the curb for garbage pickup the next day.  But then I started thinking:  If these are no good for me, then they are no good for anyone else.  Someone might come along and see these and take them and play them.  So I went and took a hammer and smashed them up into pieces, and I had the time of my life.”

Pastor then said, “Now I sing Fanny Crosby songs instead.”

“Amen to that, Pastor!” said Flanders and Jenney.

Pastor Parsons went on to say, “And finally I wish to talk to you about giving.  Turn with me, if you would to Malachi 3:10.”  The flock searched this Bible verse, and Pastor recited this Bible verse:

‘Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.”  Then Pastor taught this verse, saying, “What are we born-again Christians supposed to give?  Tithes and offerings.  A ‘tithe’ is ‘ten percent.’  And ‘offerings’ are ‘a little bit more extra, according to how our hearts feel.’  This ten percent that is the tithe is ten percent of our financial income.  This does not mean ten percent of our net income; it means ten percent of our gross income.  Those who give thus to this church of God have already given their hearts to the God of this church.  If God has your heart, he has your pocketbook, too.  In the book

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of Acts, it is written, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’  Now what about the Christian who does not give tithes and offerings to the Lord’s work?  In the book of Malachi, God calls such a believer ‘a robber.’  But such a robber in this case dares to rob from God Himself!  No Christian here would go and steal from Shopko or K-Mart.  But how many of us here are not giving to the work of So Great Salvation Baptist Temple and are stealing from the Lord in holding back?  In the book of Malachi, God goes on to say that he will curse with a curse all who are not tithing and giving offerings.  You might ask me, ‘What might this curse be?’  And I will answer you, ‘You do not want to find out.’  You may be rebuked for your sin by an expensive medical bill.  Mark my words, child of God, God does not allow His saints to live on more than ninety percent of their income.  If you do not give that ten percent back to God, He will see to it that you will have to give it to a doctor or to a veterinarian or to an insurance company or to some other place.”

“Amen to that!” said the men and women of the flock.

Pastor Woodrow Parsons then wrapped up his sermon, saying, “Worship of praying; worship of Bible-reading; worship of going to church; worship of witnessing; worship of singing; worship of tithing.  Indeed it is written, O good flock, ‘God is a Spirit:  and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.’  John 5:24.  Worship is glorious on Earth; worship is truly glorious in Heaven.  And godly and good worship is the answer to every person’s question, ‘Why am I here?’”

“Amen!  Amen!” said young and old alike in the flock.

Then Pastor said to his flock, “Let us open our hymnbook to hymn number 999 and make a joyful noise with a classic hymn all about worship in the life of the obedient and faithful believer.”

This hymn was entitled, “Take My Life and Let It Be.”

And the flock sang this hymn of worship in worship to the God of worship:

“1.  Take my life and let it be

Consecrated, Lord, to Thee;

Take my hands and let them move

 

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At the impulse of Thy love,

At the impulse of Thy love.

 

2. Take my feet and let them be

Swift and beautiful for Thee;

Take my voice and let me sing

Always, only, for my King,

Always, only, for my King.

 

3. Take my lips and let them be

Filled with messages for Thee;

Take my silver and my gold–

Not a mite would I withhold,

Not a mite would I withhold.

 

4. Take my love—my God I pour

At Thy feet its treasure store;

Take myself—and I will be

Ever, only, all for Thee,

Ever, only, all for Thee.”

 

Pastor then said, “Let us now go out back to the apple orchard for the baptismal service of Flanders and Jenney in Marsh Pond.  I would like to commend Flanders Nickels and Jenney Halsey for this step of obedience this day.  They are both truly stalwarts in the faith of Christianity and ever-loyal to our Baptist church and mighty in daily worship.  I count it a happiness to baptize them this day and to give my vote that they become accepted into the membership of So Great Salvation Baptist Temple.”

Every last person of the congregation followed Pastor out back to attend this most happy baptism.  Pastor stepped out into the pond and waded out to the level of his waist.  He proffered his hand toward the beguiler girl in her classy outfit.  And she stepped out into the pond, herself dressed thus, and she waded out to the level of her belly.  Pastor then began her ceremony, asking her, “Jenney, do you believe that the Lord Jesus Christ died for your sins and rose again from the dead?”

“I surely do, Pastor,” said the beguiler girl.

“Jenney, have you asked the Lord Jesus Christ to become your personal Saviour?” asked Pastor.

“I surely have, Pastor,” said the gymnast woman.

 

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And Pastor then went on to say, “Jenney Penney Halsey, on your public declaration of the gospel of salvation and on your public confession of so great salvation, I now baptize you in the name of the Father and in the name of the Son and in the name of the Holy Ghost.”  Having said this, Pastor then put her down into the water, and he took her back up out of the water.

“Hallelujah!” the beguiler gal said in joy and rejoicing in the Lord, water dripping down all of her golden curls and her gymnastics leotard now all soaking wet, and her female form chilled with the cool pond water.

“Hallelujah!” replied all of her brothers-and-sisters-in-the-Lord here with her, Flanders himself the most enthusiastic of all of them.

Then Jenney waded back to shore, saw and took Flanders’s helping hand from the up on the bank, and climbed back up to the land.

Pastor then held out his hand from where he stood in the pond toward Flanders now.  Flanders went ahead and stepped down into the pond and himself now waded out to Pastor, Flanders’s self up to his belly in the water.  And Pastor Parsons began this ordinance with Flanders, asking him, “Flanders, do you believe that the Lord Jesus died for your sins and rose again from the dead?”

“I do believe, O Pastor,” said Flanders.

Pastor went on to ask, “Flanders, have you asked the Lord Jesus to become your personal Saviour?”

“I have asked, O Pastor,” said Flanders.

Then Pastor Woodrow Parsons declared before this happy gathering, “Flanders Arckery Nickels,  on the public proclamation of the saving gospel and on the public profession of so true salvation, I now baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.”  And the good Baptist minister put Flanders down into the water and pulled him up out of the water.  Water pouring down his head and over his eyes, Flanders looked first at his Jenney up there on the bank.  Her beautiful face

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shone forth joy of the Holy Spirit upon him.  She was smiling at him ardently, and he smiled amorously back to her. He exclaimed upon this baptism, “Alleluia!”

“Alleluia!” said his girlfriend.

“Alleluia!” then praised forth the rest of the flock in hearty accord.

Then Flanders waded back up to the bank.  Jenney helped him up to the land.  And then Pastor came up to the bank of the pond.  And Flanders and Jenney helped him out of the pond.

Then Pastor held an official business meeting, asking his voting members. “All in favor of accepting Flanders Nickels and Jenney Halsey into the rolls of church membership, say, ‘Aye.’”

Everybody quickly raised their hands and said, “Aye,”–even those who were not members.

And Pastor said to his voting members, “All opposed to accepting Flanders Nickels and Jenney Halsey into the rolls of church membership, say, ‘Nay.’”  There was not one dissenter among all the flock.

And Pastor said to Flanders and to Jenney, “I now declare you two to be official members of So Great Salvation Baptist Temple.”  Then he said to the rest of his flock,  “Let us now congratulate our two new members for their step of faith this day.”

And everybody came up to them and said good things to them from the sincerity of their hearts and hugged them both in the bond of Christianity and rejoiced inside every one of them as these two now rejoiced inside.

All was good.  All was well.  All was happy.

Then Pastor had a short word of prayer, thanked the congregation for coming, and dismissed the flock.

Arm-in-arm, Flanders and Jenney hopped back to where Sawtooth was awaiting them.  And Flanders said, “I love Jesus, and I love you, Jenney.”

And in her own way of telling him the same thing from her heart, she went ahead and stole a

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kiss right on his lips.

Sawtooth gave a loud purr.  Boyfriend and girlfriend turned to look at him.  He had his big cat head cocked to the side in incomprehension.

“I think that he saw what we just did,” said Flanders.

“I think that some of our fellow shippers might have seen what we just did,” said Jenney.

“Maybe even God, wily woman gymnast,” said Flanders.

“Yeah,” said the beguiler girl, “Maybe even the Good Lord Himself.”

Then they mounted Flanders’s Sawtooth, and they both went back to their respective homes, giddy and delighted and fulfilled.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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CHAPTER XII

The beguiler girl and her boyfriend were on another date in her mezzanine in her Rural Gymnasium.  They were up here in front of her most abundant menagerie of women’s gymnastics leotards on a long pole seven feet across.  He would pick one out; she would go into her dressing room and put it on, and she would come back out and show off her female form dressed thus in it to excite him.  They were doing this for an hour so far, and he was most desirous of her.  And she felt comfortable, being desirable to her boyfriend like this.  All of her gymnastics leotards were long-sleeved.  And she had solid ones of all colors.  And she had lots of purple ones and pink ones, because Marta Karolyi preferred that her gymnasts dress in these two colors.  And she had lots of sequined ones, some with many sequins; some with few sequins.  And she had other patriotic American ones, also.

Then the beguiler girl dressed up in a patriotic gymnastics leotard that was mostly white and came out and stood before him.  Along the right in the upper torso was a large field of dark blue with nine big white stars filling it up,  And down the long right sleeve on this side was all dark blue.  And along the left in the upper torso was alternating red and white stripes running diagonally, a wide red

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stripe, then a wide white stripe, then a wide red stripe.  And down the long left sleeve on this side was all white.  Starting from her midriff and down to her nether regions was all white.  And the whole back was all white.

“Does this one beguile you, boyfriend?” asked Jenney.

“Oh yes, woman,” he said.  “Bring it on!”

And she shook her hips, then put her arms akimbo, then performed a salto in this mezzanine and  did stick her landing.

“Whoa, girl!” he said.

“I bet that you never saw this one before, Flanders,” she said.

“Uh uh,” he said.

“It was the one worn by the Magnificent Seven before my time,” she said.

“Weren’t they the ones who won in the Olympics for team USA long ago?” asked Flanders.

“Uh huh,” said Miss Halsey.  “The Magnificent Seven won the Olympic women’s gymnastics team gold medal for America for our country’s first time.”

“And these seven all had on what you have on right now?” asked Flanders.

“Yep!” she said.

“I wish that I had seen that then,” he said.

“It was the 1996 Atlanta Summer Olympics back then, Flanders,” said Jenney.  “Bela Karolyi was our team’s coach in those days.

“Wasn’t he the one who carried that wounded woman gymnast to the podium?” asked Flanders.

“He was,” said Jenney.  “It was Kerri Strug whom he carried.  She wounded her ankle on the first of two vaults, and she went ahead and performed the second of two vaults with that wounded ankle, and she stuck her landing and won the team gold with her valor.”

“I remember now,” said Flanders.  “Brave girl!”

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“Do you want to know who these seven were that dressed like this?” asked the beguiler.

“Dressed like that for all the world to see,” said Flanders.  “Do tell me their names, Jenney.”

And the beguiler girl said, “Kerri Strug, Dominique Moceanu, Amy Chow, Dominique Dawes, Amanda Borden, Jaycee Phelps, and Shannon Miller.”

“Shannon Miller,” said Flanders.  “I heard of her.  She’s famous.”

“She is America’s second most decorated woman gymnast ever,” said Jenney.

“Is she as good as you are, Jenney?” he asked.

“She is better than I am,” said the beguiler gal.

“Who’s America’s most decorated woman gymnast?” asked Flanders.  Then he said, “It has to be Simone Biles,”

“I would think so,” said Miss Halsey.

“The best ever in all the world,” said Flanders.

“There is none better.  There is none as good,” said Jenney Halsey.

“Are you glad for my tigers?” asked Flanders.  He had his seven saber-toothed tigers stationed at the entrance doors outside all along the four walls of this Rural Gym were sudden battle from a demon-beast to come upon man and woman on a date again.

“I felt safe with my wolves until that last time,” said Jenney.  “But I feel safer now with your big cats out there, protecting us from evil beasts.”

“Your wolves are yet in no condition to fight a beast of Satan,” said Flanders.

“They have to rest and to get better from that run-in with that dastardly unicorn and his horn,” said Jenney Halsey.

“They are safe now, resting in the big cat stables while the big cats are here,” said Flanders.

“And my valiant soldier boyfriend has his bow and arrow with him again on our date,” said Miss Halsey.  “That can do more for God than seven wolves or seven big tigers can do,”

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Flanders went on to recite a Scripture passage about his Almighty God.  “’God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.  Therefore will we not fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;  Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof.  Selah.’  Psalm 46:1-3.”

“Yes, good and wise boyfriend,” assented Jenney.  “We must trust God more than we trust your artillery.”

“With God, my artillery can do almost anything short of winning souls,” said Flanders in contemplation of God’s greatness.

A moment of contemplation then came upon Miss Halsey’s face, and a doleful spirit came upon her features.

“I know what you’re thinking, Jenney,” said Flanders.

“You know me most well, Flanders,” said Jenney.

“Tracey should have been there at your baptism,” he said.  “And Proffery, too.”

“My best friend and your good friend were not there at the pond with us,” said Jenney Halsey.
“They did not see you and me get baptized and join the church.”

“They need to be born again,” said Flanders.

“Getting them saved is even harder than getting a demonic beast slain,” said Miss Halsey.

“Even though getting saved is free,” said Flanders.

“Yeah!  Yeah!” said Jenney.

“We both need to pray for them both again right now,” said Flanders.

“Another prayer meeting in this nice mezzanine sounds good to me, boyfriend,” said Jenney.

“You could pray for your friend Tracey, and I could pray for my friend Proffery,” said Flanders.

“I have hope left yet in my heart for Tracey,” said Jenney.  “And I have some hope for Proffery, as well, Flanders.”

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“Jenney, it is written about hope, ‘For we are saved by hope:  but hope that is seen is not hope:  for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for?  But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.’  Romans 8:24-25,” said Flanders Nickels.

“Again it is written, O Flanders, ‘Hope deferred maketh the heart sick:  but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.’  Proverbs 13:12,” said wise Jenney.

“Let us kneel before God and pray and pour out our hearts before Him,” said Flanders.

And boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ got on their knees upon the mezzanine, facing each other.  Jenney suddenly discovered that she had on a different gymnastics leotard for her first time in a prayer meeting with Flanders.  Well, it was too late to go and change now into her traditional gymnastics leotard.  It was time to pray.  So she went ahead and prayed in a strange new leotard.  And God still heard her, nonetheless.

The beguiler girl prayed out loud thus:  “Dear Father God:  I come before Your throne Up There in intercession for my lifelong friend.  You know her.  Her name is Tracey.  She loves women’s boxing, and she does not love You.  She likes Proffery a lot, and she does not like You at all.  You give her the strength of a young woman to take her next step.  You give her as a created being the air to take her next breath.  And you have blessed her with nineteen years of a pretty good life so far.  But she shuns You, O Lord. She is not thankful for all that you have do for her even as one of Satan’s children. She is lost and going to Hell. I enjoin You, if You would forbear me, to save her soul, so that I can have her with me in Heaven.  Tracey even said to me once, ‘God is like an opponent to me in the ring that I have to box with and to knock down with a punch.’  That sounds like Your Holy Spirit speaking to her in His still small voice, saying to her, ‘You need Jesus.’  She ever resists the Holy Ghost.  And she ever resists my witnessing.  And she ever resists the Word of God.  I dare say,  O Saviour, ‘Do get in the ring with her, and knock her lights out.’  Then when she wakes back up and sees herself all sprawled about on the canvas, let her see her life as she lives it as you see her life as she lives it, that it is a most embarrassing

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KO without You as her Saviour.  In Acts 9:3-5, You and most wicked Saul of Tarsus had a little talk, and when You were finished talking to him, he became most righteous Paul the Apostle.  You struck him down, showed him his need for the Saviour, and he repented and got saved.  I pray now that the same so great conversion happen to dear Tracey.  Strike her down and have that same little talk with her.  Say unto her in like, ‘Tracey, Tracey, why persecutest thou Me?’  Then have her say unto You in like, ‘Who art Thou, Lord?’  Then say unto her in like, ‘I am Jesus whom thou persecutest:  it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks.’  Then have her say unto You in like, ‘Lord, what will You have me to do?’  And Tracey can repent and get saved, too.  And she, like myself, will be a born-again Christian.

And my heart can forever rest easy for her soul for now on. Her eternal destiny will be in Heaven with me and You, O Lord.  In Jesus’s name I pray.  Amen.”

Then Flanders went ahead to pray out loud next.  He said, “Dear Father in Heaven:  I would like to come before Your throne in intercessory salvation prayer for my friend and Tracey’s boyfriend Proffery Coins.  He’s not afraid of wrestling with a dragon, as You saw him try to do.  But he’s not afraid of wrestling with You either, in his rebellion against Your sovereignty over his soul.  He refuses to acknowledge You as the Saviour of the world.  And he argues with me instead of listens to me when I try to witness to him.  He is a true champion over other all-star wrestlers as the Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion of the World Wrestling Federation.  But in this life, as a soul, Proffery is a real chump, instead.  The most important thing a man needs to do in this life to make something of himself in Your eyes is to become a born-again believer– a born-again believer who dies, goes to Heaven and gets rewards. But a man who dies who is not a born-again believer goes to Hell and gets judgments and  degrees of punishment.  A true champion’s life on Earth as a saved person is a bright and shining light.  A true chump’s life on Earth as a lost person is a cipher.  At the Bema Judgment Seat for the saved, You will smile at us with ‘the luster of Your kindly beaming eye.’  At the Great White Throne Judgment Seat for the unsaved, You will say to them, ‘Verily I say unto you, I know you not.’  Peace and joy and

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love awaits me with You in Heaven.  But fire awaits Proffery with Satan in Hell.  But still Proffery says to me when I tell him these things, ‘I’m rough and tough, and I don’t need God.’ Lord, please soften his hard heart.  Please open his blinded eyes.  Please humble him before it is too late.  Once he dies, it will be forever too late for him.  Give him another chance to repent and get saved.  Do not give up on him yet.  Talk to him louder into his heart and head.  In Jesus’s name I pray.  Amen.”

“Woo!” said the beguiler girl.  “That was one fervent prayer for me to say, and that was one fervent prayer for me to hear, Flanders.”

“I could hear the Holy Spirit in your words, Jenney, and I could feel the Holy Spirit in my words,” said Flanders.

“And here I am this moment, still dressed in a strange leotard,” she said.

“You look great in it, Jenney,” he said.

“So did Shannon Miller, I dare say,” said the beguiler girl.

“And the other six gymnasts, I’d bet.” said Flanders.

“I think that I will change back into something more normal as your beguiler woman,” she said.

“You will look even greater in that,” he said sweet accolades to her.  And as she and Flanders wished, the beguiler woman went into her dressing room up here in the mezzanine and put back on her trademark patriotic gymnastics leotard.  And when she came out, she was wearing it for them both once again.  And she hung up her other patriotic gymnastics leotard of this day back upon her long pole of menagerie.

Just then a discomfiting shadow passed by from outside.  Flanders and Jenney caught a glimpse of this shadow from the corners of their eyes through the window.  And man and woman felt sudden discomfort.  “Did you see something, Flanders?” asked Jenney.

“I did see something,” he said.  She nodded a quick nervous nod.  “You saw it, too,” he did say.

“I thought I saw big black wings,” she said.

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“I thought I saw a long black tail,” he said.

Right then a roaring of seven big cats filled the outside.

“Your saber-toothed tigers give warning,” said Jenney.

“Battle stations for me and my soldiers,” said Flanders.

“I pray we get the victory,” said Jenney.

“I must trust God,” he said.

“I shall trust God, too,” she promised Flanders.

Both ran down the stairs to the floor of the Rural Gym, Flanders for battle; and Jenney for curiosity.  And they both quickly went out of the exit doors where the tigers were roaring so loudly.

Behold, Pitch!

The dark black griffin was hovering in the air above the reach of the fierce big tigers and their long thick teeth.  Each of the seven big cats continually lunged upward to try to get at this demonic griffin, but they could not reach him up there.  And Pitch in his malevolence was spitting griffin saliva down upon them, singing their hides with his most acidic spit.

“Man of God,” snarled Pitch, “Call off your big cats.”

“Pitch, for what have you come back to harass me?” asked Flanders point-blank up at him.

“I come not just to harass, but to slay,” said Pitch.

“To talk about slaying is easier than to do the slaying, O Pitch,” said Flanders, his Bronze Bow and Brass Arrows and Deerhide Quiver all ready for battle.

Jenney Halsey felt that she had a lot of things to say to this dark black griffin right now in her indignation and in her offense, but she wisely deferred to her boyfriend to do any talking that needed to be said to this formidable griffin demon.

“Man of the Lord, would you call off your tigers?” again commanded Pitch.

“Griffin of the air, come down to the ground to fight me,” commanded Flanders.

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“Treader of the ground, come up to fight me in the air,” mocked the proud griffin.

“Shall my Brass Arrow fight you up in the air?” rebuked Flanders, his feet upon the ground, and his arms aiming his artillery up at proud Pitch.

“We two are at an impasse, soldier of Christ,” said Pitch.

“I can easily shoot you down where you hover, and you will fall down to the ground and be devoured by seven hungry big cats.” said Flanders, certain of imminent victory.  “And if you come down to the ground to avoid being shot through in the air, you will still be instantly slain in battle by my saber-toothed tigers.”  And Flanders asked, “And you call that an ‘impasse,’ O pitch black griffin?”

“Would you prefer the word, ‘stalemate?’” asked Pitch.

“I should say to you, ‘Checkmate.’” declared Flanders.  And he drew back his bowstring and was about to fire one deadly arrow right into Pitch’s lion chest.

But all of a sudden, the pitch dark griffin descended right into the pack of seven fierce tigers, and he quite indeed reeked utter havoc upon these soldiers of Flanders.  Such a chaos and confusion in battle Flanders had never seen happen to him before with himself as commander of his big cats.  One by one, his cats fell in battle before the insatiable Pitch in his demonic might as griffin. Flanders could not fire his arrow into the pile for fear of striking one of his own.  And he was truly unnerved.  He did not know quite yet what to do. He prayed a quick silent prayer for God’s mercy upon his pets.  And he prayed for God’s grace upon himself.   And he most patiently awaited God to do His work.  And Flanders’s heart broke for Sawtooth and company.  And after five minutes, the battle between one griffin and seven saber-toothed tigers was over.  And seven big cats were lying around cut up and bruised and beaten in battle.

And Pitch bragged and said, “Look at what I did to the famous Flanders Nickels’s big cats!  Seven saber-toothed tigers all slain in battle!  And it was I who did it!  Checkmate, Flanders!”

Flanders felt his head grow disorientated and faint upon this sight and upon those words.

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Just then a sweet resonant feminine voice said, “They are not dead, Pitch.  They are not dead, Flanders.  They are only wounded and no longer able to fight.  Flanders, the griffin does lie.”

It was, of course, good Jenney who said these good words.   They were good words and Godly words and true words.  And Flanders’s head revived into awareness and alertness.

Taking a step backward, Pitch said, “I see in your countenance, O soldier of Christ, the true wrath of God.”

Taking a step forward, Flanders said, “You struck my pets.  Try to strike me now.”

Turning his look away from Flanders for fear of God, the dark black griffin gazed upon Jenney.

And in the woman he saw female vulnerability in her countenance.  She was the woman of God who had snapped Flanders out of his daze with her words. Pitch had to get even with her right now. And he became the bully who did not pick on someone his own size.  And he flew off and lighted upon the ground behind her. And now Jenney was between Flanders and Pitch.  And Pitch was now shielded from Flanders’s artillery by Flanders’s own girlfriend.  The griffin had turned into the coward.  Bur the archer was set back with this griffin tactic.  But the archer was not at a loss.  Flanders knew that even he could not have fired a deadly arrow upon the griffin in the maelstrom of the seven big cats.  But he and Jenney both knew that he could fire a deadly arrow upon the griffin who was hiding behind one woman.  How many times did he shoot apples off of her head with his artillery as she stood there before him in the orchard?  How many times did he shoot pine cones out of her hand as she stood there before him in the woods?  How many times did he shoot down tennis balls that she tossed up in the air for him in the open fields?  This cowardly griffin would be no different for Flanders than the apple or the pine cone or the tennis ball.

And Flanders, confident in himself, and even more confident in the Lord, raised his artillery and aimed it, and drew back his bow.  And he said, “Pitch, you make a very large target behind a slim and trim woman.”

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And Pitch said in reprisal, “And your girlfriend makes her mortality most manifest.”  And suddenly the pitch griffin grabbed a hold upon Jenney’s shoulders with his eagle claws.  Jenney gave forth a crying out.  The griffin then began to lift up into the skies, holding on tight to the woman.  And Pitch ascended one hundred feet into the air.  Everything happened so quickly.  The tide was turned against Flanders.  And now precious Jenney was in peril for her life. Pitch now had the upper hand.

So clever was the Devil and his demons and his demon-possessed beasts in warfare.

From up above Pitch taunted Flanders, saying to him, “Shoot me down now, O believer.”

Flanders began to speak words up to the griffin to distract him from doing anything final to cherished Jenney.  If he were to get into a dialogue with Pitch right now, it could give Flanders time to think upon a new strategy, and it could distract the griffin from executing his plans upon the girl, and it could give fair Jenney a little bit longer to live and a little bit longer to pray.  Flanders said, “Pitch griffin, did you know that I can still shoot you dead and still miss your captive even from way down here a hundred feet below you?”

“Ah,” said Pitch.  “How about from two hundred feet into the air?”  And Pitch ascended another one hundred feet into the skies, his powerful eagle legs and eagle claws still holding tightly upon Jenney’s shoulders below him.   And he called down to Flanders, saying,  “Can you hit the griffin and miss the woman now from two hundred feet in the air?”

“That I can do, foul Pitch,” said Flanders.

“Then how about three hundred feet in the air?” bragged the dark black griffin.  And the griffin, carrying the girl in his vise grip, ascended another one hundred feet up into the skies.  And he called down to Flanders, saying, “Can you hit me and miss her now from three hundred feet in the air, O great archer of Christ?”

“That I can do, Pitch,” said Flanders.

“Tell me, clever hunter,” said the black dark griffin.  “If you could have done your Lord’s work

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upon me in this battle from one hundred feet, from two hundred feet, from three hundred feet, then why had you not done so?”

Truly had the soldier of God done thus, then both the griffin and fair Jenney would have fallen down to the ground and both would have been killed.  Flanders found this answer most overt.  But it was for some reason not seen by the griffin.  And Flanders gave forth an equivocal answer, “I wish to slay my griffin on the ground and not in the air.”  And Pitch believed him in surprising simpleness.  Maybe griffins were not always as cunning as their father the Devil.  Behold, Pitch then spread out his great eagle wings far to the left and far to the right and held them there straight out.  And the griffin began to glide back down toward the earth.  Then he ceased his descent, ten feet above Flanders’s head.  Above Flanders’s upraised arms were Jenney’s feet kicking and moving about.

In Jenney’s lips were spoken words of prayer in progress, “Thank You, Lord, for bringing me back to Flanders.”

“I you wish that we battle on the ground, we shall do battle on the ground, mortal,” said Pitch.

Everything suddenly looked too easy to Flanders right now, from his much battle experience.  But right now his mind was focused on Jenney’s welfare.  And he winced when he saw the pain in her shoulders written in her face.  He then aimed his artillery at the demon griffin.

Then Pitch said, “I now return the girl to her boyfriend,”  And the griffin released Jenney from his iron grip right above where Flanders stood.  And the woman was dropped right on top of where the archer was standing.  And Flanders fell down hard upon his back, Jenney sprawled right on top of where he lay.  Yet his artillery from God was still intact in his hands, his Brass Arrow still nocked in the  bowstring of the Bronze Bow, and the bowstring drawn back, and the arrow still aimed upward toward the pitch black griffin above.

Pitch then lighted upon the ground, and he said, “Flanders and Jenney, you’re both coming Home!”  And Pitch moved in for the kill, first for Flanders.

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While on his back, Jenney still on top of his supine self, Flanders lowered his artillery, adjusted his aim, and let fly his arrow toward the ever-wily Pitch.

As Pitch marched toward the fallen Christian soldier, this Brass Arrow honed in upon his eagle neck.  And it pierced through his neck and came out through the other side.  And the griffin head was separated from his griffin shoulders.  And Pitch was truly beheaded right where he was stalking.  And he fell dead in battle.  And he lay dead there prone.

The two Christians got back to their feet.  They came up to the griffin carcass.  They both stood there, looking down upon it.  And Jenney finished her prayer, “And thank You, God, for slaying the evil  pitch griffin.  In Jesus’s name.  Amen.”

“’But the Lord your God ye shall fear; and he shall deliver you out of the hand of all your enemies.’  II Kings 17:39,” said Flanders Nickels.

“We are alive, Flanders,” said Jenney.

“How bad is it for you in your shoulders, Jenney?” he asked.

“They both hurt,” she said.  “How about your saber-toothed tigers?”

“They all hurt, also,” he said.

He put his arm around her waist to help her to stay upon her feet, and they both came up to where the seven big cats were lying in their wounds.  The master talked to them, listened to their big cat callings, and looked upon their wounds, one-by-one, in great cares.  Then he said, “They will live.”

“And get better?” she asked.

“Yes, fair Jenney,” he said.  “And get better.”

She stumbled in a step as she walked with Flanders in his arm.

And he said, “And we’ve got to get you to the hospital,”

“It seems that your girlfriend has to get better, too,” she said.  And she agreed to go with Flanders to the hospital.  And she went there and was released the next day.

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As for Sawtooth and the rest, the veterinarian came over to the Country House and took care of them, and they were all okay after a few days of convalescence.  And they were soon all right enough to come back home to the Rural House.  And all was well again for now for Flanders and his gymnast girlfriend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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CHAPTER XIII

The beguiler girl and her boyfriend-in-Christ were on a walk down the county trunk road in the countryside on another date together.  “It feels good to be walking this time instead of riding,” said Jenney.

“I like walking, too,” said Flanders.

“Those rides on Sawtooth get pretty bumpy for a woman sometimes,” said Jenney.

“But those rides on your chariot are nice and smooth,” said Flanders.

He held out his hand toward her, and she took it in hers, and they went on walking, now hand in hand.

“County highways are a lot less traveled than state highways and interstate highways,” said the beguiler gal.

“On this road we can walk on foot and not have to worry about being run over by an animal,” said Flanders.

“Some of those drivers on Highway 41 are just terrible,” she said.

“But not here on County Trunk U,” he said.

“Anston is just up ahead,” she said.

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“And we just left Kunesh,” he said.

“Your bow and arrow from the Lord is a most magical bow and arrow,” said the beguiler woman.

“I have taught you much about its magic,” he said.  “Magic wrought by God Himself put right into all of what it is.”

“Like a Deerhide Quiver that never runs out of arrows and a Bronze Bow that never tarnishes and Brass Arrows that never bend,” said Miss Jenney Halsey.

“And to think that I found all of this in a lighthouse,” said Flanders.

“A lighthouse where God had you to go,” said Jenney.

“He was testing me just like he was testing Abraham, when He told him to go to the promised land long before Israel was a nation,” said Flanders.

“By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went,” recited the Christian girl that Bible verse.

“Hebrews 11:8,” said Flanders.

“He told you to go, and you went immediately,” said Jenney.  “Even Abraham did not go immediately when God told him to go.”

“Abraham was called ‘the friend of God,’” said Flanders.

“And you are called ‘the archer of God,’” said his girlfriend.

“God had not called me to hunt and war when I was still young in the faith,” said Flanders.  “God knew that first I had to grow in the Lord and mature in my faith for a few years before I would answer His call on my life.”

“You got born again,  You increased in Christ.  You were called,” said the daughter of God.

“And now I serve God as a soldier of artillery,” he said.

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“God had a most unique way of guiding you to the lighthouse,” said Jenney.  “I do not know quite how God had guided Abraham to the land of promise.  But I do know that God had one time guided David to a battlefield by way of a sound of a going in the mulberry trees above.  God kind of repeated that leading with you, when He called you to the famous lighthouse.”

“Only with me it was the sound of a going in the box elder trees above,” said Flanders.

Both Bible students knew all about that sound in the mulberry trees that God had David to follow back in the Old Testament.  He was fighting the Philistines.  And instead of making his own decisions of how to attack them, David prayed first to God, to ask God how He wanted David to attack them.  And God told him to follow ’the sound of a going in the mulberry trees.’  This God-ordained battle tactic was just plain odd.  But God said to do it, and David did it in complete obedience and faith,  trusting in the Lord.  And David came in upon the Philistines in God’s way, and he utterly defeated the enemy in battle.  The Almighty God thus rewarded David for his submission to God.  And the Lord was glorified.

“And you were still living at home with your Mom and Dad yet,” said Jenney.  “And you did not have your seven big cat pets yet.  And you did not even know me yet.”

“So long ago,” he said in reverie.  “And now it seems like just the other day.”

“Your family had a pet horse,” said Jennie.  “He was a Morgan horse.”

“His name was ‘Forté,’” said Flanders.  “His forté was not running.  But, rather, his forté was walking.”

“It sounds like this Morgan horse could not run far and could not run fast, but that he could walk and walk and keep walking,” said Jenney Halsey.

“He could walk all day long,” said Flanders.  “And that is exactly what he did when I followed God’s call.”

“How did it first come to you,” asked Miss Halsey, “this calling in the trees?”

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“I was out in the side yard, sitting on Forté in the saddle, rambling around and telling him all about what great things that God did for me that day.  Of course he could not understand me, because he was a horse.  Horses are not unicorns, as you know.  When suddenly I heard a sound kind of like a wind up at the tops of the trees.  I looked up and saw the wind blowing upon a box elder and swinging the top of the box elder back and forth.  But not the other trees, I tell you, Jenney.  The pine trees and the willow trees and the oak trees and the maple trees all around me were not even shaking in their leaves up there in their tops, even though the wind was up there above them, too.  There was a strange sound of wind shaking only this box elder.  I looked up at it from the back of my horse, and I watched.  Then this wind of going left this box elder and went to another box elder, the closest one to this one.

That first swaying box elder grew still, and this second box elder began to sway in this wind of going

now instead.  I gawked.  Then, in the same way, this sound of going and its wind of going moved from this second box elder to a third box elder, the next nearest such tree.  And that second box elder stopped its swaying in this manner.  And then this going went to a fourth box elder.  And then on to the fifth box elder.  I felt that this was a work of God.  And I was so curious.  I had to find out what God wanted of me.  I had to find out where God wanted me to go.  I had to find out what was waiting up for me from the Lord.  And I followed God’s calling from box elder to box elder all the way to Asylum Bay Lighthouse.  And once I stood before it, the wind and the sound and the going ceased.  I was there where God had me to go on my journey.  I was alone with Forté and with the Holy Spirit.”

“Asylum Bay Lighthouse,” said Jenney, “the lighthouse made famous by the man who would become my boyfriend-in-the-Lord.”

He began to tell about this previously little-known lighthouse in its local history from its time before his coming to it:  “My lighthouse is situated on the western shores of Lake Winnebago just four miles north of the city of Oshkosh.  It was built back in 1940.  It stood twenty-nine feet high, and it had a beacon that was seven feet high, and at one time it had a flagpole upon it that stood upon it, making it

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a total of forty-two feet high.  Its circumference at its base was eight feet, and its circumference at its top was six feet.  This lighthouse was a brick tower with rectangular windows either boarded up or bricked up.  And this little tower rested upon a man-made island that was called ‘Lighthouse Island’ and ‘Picnic Point.’  The wooded area around my lighthouse was called ‘Asylum Point,’ and this divided

North Asylum Bay from South Asylum Bay.  Before this lighthouse island was filled up, this was mainly marshland.  After it was filled up, this was a park full of trees and shrubs and flowers.  This beautiful new island measured two hundred yards long by twenty-five yards wide.  And a wooden footbridge was built to join this island to the mainland.  But, long before my time, a problem had come up upon this Asylum Bay Lighthouse.  Something went wrong when they tried to purchase a license for  electricity for this lighthouse’s beacon.  So, instead, they made a kerosene lantern beacon for my lighthouse.  They made it to be a flashing beacon.  This lighthouse thus gave out light out into Lake Winnebago for twelve miles.  But since that time, and at my time, Jenney, this beacon had stopped lighting up for the big lake.”

“Eighty years of history,” summed up Jenney about this lighthouse on the lake.

“Forté and I got there at twilight of the evening,” said Flanders.  “We had both left Mom and Dad’s house at twilight of the morning.”

“Were you tired from the long ride?” asked Jenney.

“Yes.  I was,” said Flanders.

“Was Forté tired from the long ride?” asked Jenney.

“No.  Not at all,” said Flanders.

“Did anything happen when the sound of the going stopped and you dismounted your good horse and you stood before the lighthouse?” asked Jenney.

“Why, yes, Jenney,” he said.  “The beacon suddenly came on and shone bright upon the water.  In fact it shone in a steady beam and not in a flashing beam.”

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“God was working,” said the Christian woman upon hearing this.

“And the still small voice of the Holy Spirit said to my heart the thought, ‘Go into the lighthouse,’” said Flanders, getting to the climax of his testimony.

“You heard the Lord say to you to go into a dark lighthouse in the dark of approaching night,” said Jenney. “Were you scared?”

“No.  I was too excited to be scared right then,” said Flanders.  “I knew that God was with me and would keep me safe.”

“And, course, you went in,” said Miss Halsey.

“And, of course, I went in,” he said.

“What was in the lighthouse that you could see?” she asked.

“The first thing that I saw was a little red kerosene lantern,” he said.  “It was giving light to the inside of this little narrow lighthouse.”

“Then what did you see?” she asked.

“Then I saw the bare red brick walls of this cylindrical tall room all around me in this dim light of lantern,” he said.  “I looked up and down and front and back and left and right.  Everywhere were these round walls of bricks.

“Then what happened after that?” she asked.

“Then I saw a cozy braided elliptic rug on the red brick floor off in the back behind the lantern and right up against the back wall,” he told her.

“A nice homey rug like that in a cold empty brick lighthouse,” she said.  “Our God works in mysterious ways indeed, boyfriend.”

“And in this dim light, I could see something big resting upon that nice little rug,” he said.

“Are we there yet—at the climax of your adventure, O Flanders?” she asked, herself as excited upon hearing it as he was excited about telling it.

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“My true tale’s climax is not cold and is not cool and is hot,” he said.

“It was they that were on that braided elliptic rug, wasn’t it,” asked the beguiler girl, “the great bow and arrow and all?”

“I saw a big wooden treasure chest, beckoning me to open it,” said Flanders.  “Engraved on its front were the words, ‘For slaying demon beasts.’  And I opened it.  And there they all were.”

“The Bronze Bow,” said Jenney.  Flanders nodded.  “The Brass Arrows,” said Jenney.  Flanders nodded.  “The Deerhide Quiver,” said Jenney.  Flanders nodded.

“I then picked them up, held them in my hands, and looked upon them with my eyes,” said Flanders.  “I knew then that my ministry for Jesus was to slay evil beasts.”

“Then what happened after that?” she asked.

“Then the Trinity of God asked me, ‘Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?’” said Flanders.

“And you said,…” asked Miss Halsey.

“I said to the Trinity of God, ‘Here am I; send me,’” answered Flanders.

Classic Isaiah 6:8 relived several hundred years later.  As said the prophet Isaiah seven centuries  before Christ, so said now the Christian Flanders twenty centuries after Christ.  The great Old Testament saint went on to prophesy for God, and the great New Testament saint went on to battle for God.  And Isaiah would someday see Flanders in Heaven in the time to come for Flanders.

Flanders then said to the beguiler girl on their walk together, “And now here I am, Satan’s greatest enemy, taking out his demons one-by-one.  Thanks be to the Almighty, Who can never lose.”

“As God says in I Corinthians 15:57, Flanders,” said Jenney, “’But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.’”

“And in II Corinthians 2:14,” recited Flanders, “’Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ,…’”

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“I love your true tale, boyfriend,” said the beguiler girl.

“And I love your true tale, girl,” said Flanders.

“You mean how God gave me this favorite women’s gymnastics leotard,” she said.

“Could I hear it again?” he asked.  “It is wonderful!”

“I love to tell my story!” said the beguiler girl.  Then she said, “Hold your girl a little tighter, Flanders.”  And he let go of her hand, and he put his arm around her supple waist.  Ans she put her arm around his masculine waist.  And boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-the-Lord continued walking together down this countryside road, the man holding the woman now a little tighter.  And she went on to tell her happy tale to her boyfriend once again:  “Before I found and fell in love with this leotard you see me wear every day, I used to put on a different leotard every day.  You saw them.  They are now stored up in my menagerie up in my fun little mezzanine.  I loved to put them on, and I hated to take them off.

What this girl here needed was a leotard that she could call her favorite, a gymnastics leotard worth more than all of her other gymnastics leotards together, indeed ‘a women’s gymnastics leotard of women’s gymnastics leotards.’  Myself already believer then, I prayed to God for one like that to put on and to feel good in.  I prayed and prayed, and God began to answer my prayer.  It all started with a pretty picture and an ad in one of my International Gymnast Magazines.  It was one of those old back issue magazines that I special ordered, an old International Gymnast from before my time, whose pictures were still all black and white.  And I saw this ad and this picture in the ad.  It was of a gorgeous young lady’s face, and it had the words, ‘Taffy’s wants gymnasts to feel good.’  That, Flanders, was just what I was asking God for.  I wonder even now if the girl was named ‘Taffy.’  I did know, though, that this Taffy’s in the ad had to be a gymnastics leotard store.  I just had to find this ‘Taffy’s,’ Flanders, wherever it might be.  I got down on my knees beside that bed right away and prayed to God that this store still be open for business.  And I prayed that He lead me there in any way He so chose.  And I prayed for a dream leotard that would make me feel real good.  And I put all of my

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trust in the God Who answers the prayers of His saints in most fascinating ways.  Then, when I was still on my knees in my great petitions, the Holy Spirit said to me in His divine thoughts, ‘Follow Me.’

I said to Him, ‘How will You lead me, O Lord?’

And He said to me, ‘You shall know by My signs.’

“Whether God uses signs in this twenty-first century, I’ d have to ask Pastor for sure,”said Jenney.  “I do know that God in His ways does show His children as to which way to go in their walk with Christ.  And, of course, myself yet a new convert,  I was willing to step out in some faith and in some wisdom in my seeking of these signs from God, whatever they might be.  Well, wouldn’t you know it, Flanders.  But these signs that God had told me to follow were, so simply, road signs themselves.  I ended up following signs upon sign posts along the sides of the roads on my journey.

Not absolutely certain, but wondrously hopeful, I went out and harnessed Timber and company to my chariot. And we eight set out at once for the journey of my life.  I did not know which direction to go.  So I just went.  And right away, I came to a strange intersection that I thought was not there just the day before, but was here right now.  I looked up at the road sign of this road that I came upon so quickly, and I read ‘Taffy’s Drive.’  I opened my mouth real wide, and my eyes must have gotten big. Who would have believed this?  This must be the way that I must go.  And I turned onto this little road and continued driving my wolves and my chariot.  After a while, we came upon another intersection that was strange to me despite the fact that this was still close to home.  I looked up at the sign that said the name of this road.  This one said ‘Taffy’s Road.’  Huh!  God wanted me to turn now and go down this road.  And that we eight did.  I began to drive my wolves hard.  And after a while, I came to a third unfamiliar intersection not far from home.  I looked for the name of this intersecting road, and I read the sign that said, ‘Taffy’s Street.’  Following the Spirit’s leading, I turned onto this road and continued my trip.  And not long later, I came to another strange intersection I should have known about, but did not.  The sign for this road read, ‘Taffy’s Lane.’  Of course, Flanders, I turned onto this road, and we

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raced down this road with Godspeed.  And then we came to another intersection that could surely have not been there for real, but here it was.  I read the name of this road on its sign:  ‘Taffy’s Way.’  And I turned onto this road, and I mushed my wolves furiously in my avid zeal to get there at this little Utopian shop probably now not far away at all.  And then I found myself in unfamiliar territory.  I was far away from home.  I was never out this way before.  And I felt safe in God’s protective wings in this adventure and this lark.”

The beguiler woman continued her true tale to her boyfriend as they walked together in reminiscence:  “Then Taffy’s Way came to an end.  It at first looked like an abrupt end.  I even wondered if my hopes were to come to an abrupt end, Flanders.  This road just stopped.  There was no intersection here.  There were no roads going left or right here at this end.  And there were no roads going on ahead from where I and my wolves were standing.  Further, I saw a yellow diamond sign with  dark black letters on it that said, ‘Dead end.’  I thought to myself, ‘What a place to put a ‘Dead end,’ sign—at the end of the dead end and not at the beginning of the dead end.’   Despite this situation, I went ahead and walked around here, looking and praying for another sign, maybe one that might read, ‘Taffy’s Avenue.’  But there was no such additional street name signs for me to follow the Spirit’s leading.  I came to remember—or maybe God came to remind me—of the faith of Joshua in crossing the Jordan River that God would divide for him.  Joshua wisely chose to act in faith by going ahead to cross this river before God divided it, himself trusting and obeying the God Who would reward the faithful after the faithful took his step for God.  And sure enough, as the children of Israel began to cross the flowing river in its fullness, then God went ahead and divided the river.  And after that, Joshua and his people easily went over on dry land onto the opposite shore of the riverbed.  And when they all came up on the opposite bank, then God made the Jordan River full and flowing behind them once again.”

“You continued your journey with the faith of Joshua.  Didn’t you, Jenney?” asked Flanders.

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“I think I did,” she said.  “Not knowing which way to go, I went ahead and left my wolves and my chariot behind, and I walked by myself forward, and I passed that dead end sign, and I kept walking onward.  And my lone walk was long.”

“Did you lose hope?” asked Flanders.

“No, I walked in faith,” she said.  “In fact the longer I walked, though my legs grew weary, my spirit was refreshed.”  Then she said, “And the longer I walked, the greater my hope became.  And I grew completely confident in Christ.  I just had to be there real soon.  Taffy’s had to be imminent here in the woods.  My Lord was with me.”

“God is with us both in familiar places and in unfamiliar places,” said Flanders.

“And my unfamiliar place here in the deep woods was called, ‘Nicolet National Forest.’” she said.

“When did you find it—this gymnastics leotards shop?” asked Flanders.

“After a while,” she said.  “And there it was.  I found it.  God brought me there,” said Jenney.

“And I thanked the God Who leads His daughters to marvelous places.”

“What did it look like?” he asked.

“It looked like a cabin in the woods, O Flanders.” she said.  “There was a little sign on the wooden door that read, “Taffy’s, Incorporated.’  There were no windows.  It was in the middle of acres and acres of solid trees.  It had no parking lot for customers’  animals.  And it had no road leading up to it from any direction whatsoever.  But then was a young woman came out of this door, looked out and saw me, and beckoned me to come on in.  It was that same gorgeous young woman whom I had seen in that ad of decades prior; and she had not aged one year since then as I beheld her standing there.  I came up to her, and I asked her, ‘Are you Taffy?’

And she nodded her head eagerly and asked me, ‘Are you Jenney?’

I nodded my head also and said, ‘I am.’

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‘I’m glad to meet you,’ she then said to me.  ‘I’ve been waiting for you.’

‘Should I come in?’ I asked her.

And she said, ‘Do come in, good lady.’  And she held open the door for me, and I came in, and she came in after me.

And what I saw inside the little cabin was a huge room the size of a Fleet Farm store!  And in this store were racks and racks of only long-sleeved gymnastics leotards.  And throughout these leotards were all the colors that a person could see in this Earth in her lifetime– in lustrous and bright fabrics to titillate my fetish.  And I was so spellbound that I stood there, mesmerized.  This Taffy then said to me, ‘Look around at your leisure.  Spend a few days here shopping if you wish.  This store is never closed.  And I do not sleep.  Go and seek and rejoice in the Lord.’

And in a dream that was reality I began to shop around at Taffy’s Incorporated.  In one part of the store were racks of gymnastics leotards that were flags of all the countries of the world.  In another part of the store were racks of gymnastics leotards that were all solid colors.  In another part of the store were racks of gymnastics leotards that were full of spangles.  In another part of the store were racks of gymnastics leotards that were paisley patterns.  In another part of the store were racks of gymnastics leotards that were the flags of the fifty states of the union.  In another part of the store were racks of gymnastics leotards that had stripes—horizontal and vertical and diagonal and Chevron.  In another part of the store were racks of gymnastics leotards that had symbols and letters and numbers in their patterns.

And after shopping for five hours, I could not decide which one I wanted the most.  They seemed all too good to be true.  And yet none was the best of these best for me.  I was unsure and a little discouraged even here in this paradise.  ‘Have you picked out one yet, Miss Halsey?’ asked Taffy.

‘No, O Taffy,’ I said.  ‘I cannot choose which one would make me the happiest.’

‘Are you looking for a gymnastics leotard that you can feel good in?’ asked Taffy.

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‘Why, yes, Taffy,’ I said.  ‘I did come here just for that kind of leotard.’

‘I’ve got just the rack for you, young miss,’ she said.  ‘Follow me.’  And I followed her to the store’s back room.  It was a tiny back room for a huge sales floor.  It was no bigger than a cabin.

And Taffy said to me, ‘In this back room I keep my back-stock.’  And then I saw them—truly the most desirable gymnastics leotards that I had seen and admired of all this day for me.  They were all upon a circular rack.  This circular rack was the only thing back here in this whole little backroom. And Taffy said, ‘Perhaps this one rack of patriotic U.S.A gymnastics leotards would make you feel good.’  Before my longing and pining women’s eyes were irresistible American patriotic gymnastics leotards in diverse and sundry reds and whites and blues and stripes and stars—all leotards that were patterned after our great nation’s flag!

‘All of these will make me feel good,’ I said in passions.

‘Pick one of them, my fine gal,’ she said. ‘Choose one of them of all of them.  Make sure it is the best of the best for you at Taffy’s Incorporated.  And there shall be no charge for it.  God sent you here not having.  And God will send you back home having.’

And I spent another hour shopping from this strange sublime rack.  There must have been a hundred of these gymnastic leotards–all American flag patterns.  And then I picked one. I put my nose to it and smelled the fresh aroma of brand new fabric right off the rack.  I held it against my body and admired it in front of myself like that.  I then held it up by its shoulders before Taffy, and I said, ‘I want this one, if I can.’

Taffy said to me, ‘I want my gymnasts to feel good.’

I said, ‘This one will make me feel the most like a woman.’

And Taffy said, ‘You have well chosen, Miss Jenney Penney Halsey.’

‘Thank you!  Thank you!’ I said to Taffy.

‘Good Christian woman, thank Jesus,’ Taffy said to me.

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‘Thank You!  Thank You!’ I said to Jesus.

Then Taffy took a little cardboard box, folded my precious new leotard up, and put it in the box and held it out to me.  I took it in my hands as the treasure it was to me.  Then Taffy said to me, ‘Go with the Father and prosper in Christ and live in the Spirit, blessed beguiler girl.’

She then left the back room and went back into the sales floor.  I then also left the back room and thought to go back into the sales floor.

Lo, as soon as I walked through the doorway, I found myself walking instead through an exit door, and I found myself outside in the wide woods!  I turned back and saw that wooden door that was the entrance door to the little log cabin. I had just somehow exited this door.  And that sign was no longer there.  I took a few steps backward and looked hard and wondered.  This little cabin was here before me, but it was no longer the dream store.  ‘What happened to Taffy, Lord?’ I prayed.  And the Holy Spirit blew a gentle and benign breeze upon me that assuaged my concerns.  Then I heard my seven wolves calling out to me with happy and comforting bays.  I turned around, and there they all were for me, chariot and all, ready to take me back home.  I quickly looked back into my hands.  Praise God—my new gymnastics leotard was still there in its box.  That, O boyfriend, is my tale and my story, full of God’s truth and full of God’s ways.”

Flanders, beside her on this walk, said to her, “I know you, girl.  Tell me that you did not wait till you were back home to put on your favorite gymnastics leotard.”

“Well,” she said, growing sheepish in her face.

“Tell me what you did, woman,” he said.

“Well, I looked around where I was in the forest.  I did not see anyone who could see me.  Only Timber and my other wolves could see me right then.  So, I took off the leotard I had on, and I put on my new leotard that I had in the box,” she said.

“You were naked in the woods.” he said, smiling with a broad grin.

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“Yeah, Flanders.  But only for a moment,” she confessed.

“Long enough for seven innocent wolves to see,” he said.

“And long enough for God to see, Flanders,” joked the beguiler girl.

And boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ laughed in evocative flirt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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CHAPTER XIV

How did the beguiler girl find her own so great salvation?  The following is a third person point-of-view narrative of this most effectual conversion:

It happened on a Sunday—the Lord’s day.  The windows of Heaven were opened, and great rains drenched her mom and dad’s place, where she lived at the time.  And now the rain stopped pouring.  And the early evening sun came out.  And it was sunset in the summer.  And Jenney Halsey stepped out into the yard.  Behold, a triple rainbow!  God had created a rainbow of three bows to call Jenney unto Himself.  The innermost rainbow was vibrant and bright and alive in color.  The middle rainbow was less bright, but still colorful.  And the outermost rainbow was faint and fading in its colors.  Jenney stood there, gazing upon God’s rainbow of rainbows.  Just then something bumped into her from behind, and she saw it run by her and onward.  Why, this was a leprechaun, a little leprechaun,

a leprechaun in green!  And Jenney saw and heard the falling and jingling of gold coins from his many pockets as he ran off.  And he said, “I must get to the end of that rainbow, O Danny Boy.”  After this, he then said, “Zero down.  Three to go.”  This truly was one mystifying passerby. She did not know what he was talking about regarding zero down and three to go.  But she had to find out all about this

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magical little fellow.  So she ran after him. Then he suddenly stopped his pursuit, stood still for a moment, and looked up at the wondrous rainbow before him.  She paused her run and looked at it now herself.  Now this innermost rainbow was somewhat faded and noticeably less colorful; the rainbow above that was now quite faint and fading fast; and the outermost rainbow was now all gone from the sky.  And this leprechaun in green said to himself, “One down.  Two to go.”  And Jenney understood that he was talking about this rainbow that he was chasing.  He then said to himself, “The end of the rainbow, before it’s too late!”  And he scampered off toward his destination, now his little legs running even faster.  Jenney, with her long legs, resumed her running, herself having a hard time to keep up with him.  She noticed that he was pursuing the end of this rainbow on its far end and not its near end.

She then called out to him, hoping not to startle him, saying, “Sir.  O, Sir.”

He replied back to her, saying, “Miss.  O, Miss.”  Then he said no more.  He was not startled.

Then he suddenly stopped his mad sprint, stood there, and again pondered the rainbow.  So, too, did the  girl.  Now the lower rainbow was dim and fading, and the upper rainbow was now all gone from the skies.  And he declared to himself, “Two down.  One to go.” He was right.  And he resumed his sprint.  Jenney did, too, but she was falling behind him, so determined was he to get the end of the rainbow in time.

Then, a short while later, Jenney heard from beyond some shrubbery just up ahead, the Leprechaun declaring these words unto himself.  “Yes!  Three down.  Zero to go.  Yes!”  As she ran toward this hidden voice, she looked up at the rainbow.  Indeed, the last rainbow that was left was now all dissipated from the sky.  And now the rainbow was no more.  And the adventurist girl came out beyond the shrubbery and into an open clearing.

Lo, a little leprechaun and a big pot of gold!  The leprechaun still did not give heed to the girl standing here before him.  He said to himself, “On time.  This time on time.  Finally on time.”

This pot of gold at the end of this previously triple rainbow was a foot higher than was the leprechaun’s

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head where he stood.  And its circumference far exceeded the reach of his arms.  And surely he could not pick it up and take it back to his home. Instead, as Jenney stood there staring, he spread his arms around it in a hug along an arc of its circle, and he held the side of his face against it in adoration and would not take it away where he stood, and he sighed and said, “Mine.  Mine.  Mine.”

She then asked him, “Little leprechaun, why did you chase this end of the rainbow, when the other end of the rainbow was much closer?”

“Is that how it was, young lady?” he asked her.  He spoke to her in regard for her, but his face was still pressed against the side of the pot of gold in disregard for her.

“Yes, sir,” she said to him.

Looking at her off to his side, but still keeping his body tightly up against the pot of gold, he went on to explain to her, “The nearer end of the rainbow was off to the south, and the farther end of the rainbow was off to the north.”  She could not find what to say to this in its ambiguity.  He then said to her, “Even from here and with you there, I can see that you do not comprehend, O girl person.”  He then said, “Woman, it is written in Psalm 75:6, ‘For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south.’  That means that promotion has to come from the north.”

“Promotion, little Sir?” she asked him.

“What bigger promotion can there be for treasure-hunting leprechauns as myself than the world’s biggest pot of coins?” asked the little guy in green.

“I still do not understand,” she said.

“Teenager people!” he said in a huff about Jenney.  Then he made his words clear to her, “This north , O older girl, is the direction of Heaven.  Where north ends in the universe is indeed Heaven, where God sits on His throne.  North is good, goodly good.  And that means that the northern end of a rainbow will have a pot of gold, and the southern end of a rainbow will not have a pot of gold.  Nor would the east end of a rainbow nor the west end of a rainbow.  And, truly, this northern end of this

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never-before-seen triple rainbow must truly have the biggest pot of gold of all God’s earth.  And I got here just before the rainbow left here.  And here it is, in my hands.”

Jenney went on to say to him, “Won’t you at least turn and look at me when we talk?  Do let go of that pot of gold and take away your face from it and look at me squarely.  It’s rude to look away when a girl is talking to you.”

“All right,” he said.  “Just for you, young lady.  But not for long.”  And he let go his arms, removed his cheek, and turned around to get a good look at her.  And he said, “My, my, what girls wear these days,  What does a person call that that you have on?”

Jenney Halsey said to him, “It’s called a ‘women’s gymnastics leotard,’”

“Why do you wear it?” he asked.

“Because I am a woman gymnast,” she said.

“What’s a gymnast?” he asked.

“A person who does tricks and routines,” she said.

“Tricks and routines,” said the leprechaun in green.  “Are you a magician?”

“No.  I am a tumbler,” she said.

“Oh, a somersaulter,” he said.

She said, “Somersaults and things much harder.”

“And you wear that when you do these kinds of things?” he asked.

“It is what we wear,” she said.

“It is all backwards,” he said.  “For a pretty girl, a pretty outfit should have the arms to be bare and the legs to be covered.  But your gymnastics leotard, as you call it, has the arms covered and the legs bare.  Utterly quaint.  Odd.  Puzzling.  Backwards.  And wayward.  Whoever made such a garment for women made it all logically wrong.”

Jenney Halsey admired his own words of incomprehension of her, partly because she had just

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finished speaking her words of incomprehension of him.  Besides, she loved to hear how he saw her favorite type of female apparel.  It was kind of like fun tease for her.  And he was not truly rude.  His tone told her that he was good and not evil.  She got to liking this leprechaun in green more and more now.  She then spoke and said, “What is your name?”

“My name is ‘Danny Boy,’” he told her.  Of course.  He had said his name back there to himself when he was talking on the run.  Then he asked her, “What is your name, O gymnast lady?”

And she said, “My name is Jenney.”

“Nice to meet you, Jenney,” he said.

“What do you think that you will do with this huge pot of gold coins, Danny Boy?” she asked.

“I never thought about that, Jenney,” he said.  “Would you climb up my back and stand upon the gold in the pot for me?”

“You would let me do that?” asked Jenney.  “I never saw so much money as what this pot of gold has before.” He then proffered his back, and Jenney did climb up his back and onto the gold coins that filled this big pot up to the brim where she now stood.  “My. My. My,” she exclaimed in great fervid fervor as she sat down upon the pot and ran her hands across this massive collection of shiny gold coins. “This is truly a great miracle, O Danny Boy!  Ooo!  Ooo!  Ooo!”

“My fair lady,” he said.  “One thing I know for sure about this pot of gold, is that it has come from God.  And because it has come from God, there is more wealth in this pot of gold than there is wealth in all the rest of the world.”

“I do not believe that, Danny Boy,” said Jenney Halsey.  “There is lots and lots of money in here right now, but not nearly as much money is there is in the rest of this world.”

“My young lass, it is written in Psalm 119:27, ‘Therefore I love thy commandments above gold; yea, above fine gold,’” recited the leprechaun treasure hunter Scripture to a girl who did not yet know

Scripture.

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“’Thy commandments?’” asked the curious unsaved Jenney about this phrase of the Bible verse.

“What does that mean, and how can anything be better than all of this gold?”

“O girl gymnast, dig into the pot of gold that you now sit in and find God’s greatest treasure that  He has ever given to man and leprechaun,” said Danny Boy.

She began to run her fingers into the top of the gold coins, looking for this strange treasure of treasure that he was talking to her about.  And as she was doing so, he dropped a hint to her as to what it was that she would find, saying to her, “It is written in John 5:39, ‘Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me.’”

She found nothing at first.  And she said, “Whatever it is, I have not found it.”

He said, “Keep digging.”  And she kept digging.  Then he gave her a second hint, also by way of a Bible verse, saying to her, “It is written also in II Timothy 3:15, ‘And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.’”

And she looked up from her digging and searching and said, “I still have not found it. Danny Boy.”

And he said, “Dig deeper, O you that seek.”

And she went on to dig deeper in the myriad of coins of gold.  And she found a Book.  It was a big Book.  And it was a Good Book.  And young Miss Halsey pulled it up out of the gold coins beneath her and held it up and read out loud the title of the cover to her leprechaun benefactor, saying, “Holy Bible.  Authorized King James Version.”

“The Book that God wrote,” declared the wise leprechaun in green.

“What does God have to say in this King James Bible that is worth more than all of these gold coins?” asked the gymnast girl now searching for her first time God’s eternal and perfect truths.

And he said, “How to be saved and to go to Heaven, O seeking young woman.”

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“I am not saved and not going to Heaven, Danny Boy?” she asked him.

He shook his head in a “Nay,” and said, “’Woe unto the wicked!  It shall be ill with him:  for the reward of his hands shall be given him.’  Isaiah 3:11.”

She then asked him, “Are you saved and going to Heaven?”

And he nodded his head in an “Aye,” and said, “’Say ye to the righteous, that it shall be well with him:  for they shall eat the fruit of their doings.’  Isaiah 3:10.”

Jenney Halsey then asked, “Am I going to Hell, because I am not born again?  Are you going to Heaven, because you are born again?”

“Yes and yes, my young lass,” he told her.

“Danny Boy, I believe everything you’re telling me.  Tell me what I must to to get saved,” she said.

“Only believe.  Only repent.  Only pray,” he said to her.

“I believe.  And I repent.  But what must I pray?” she asked him.

And righteous Danny Boy led the seeking Jenney through this prayer one line at a time, herself repeating after him each line of prayer unto its fulness.  This is what she prayed unto salvation:  “Dear God:  I am dark inside with all of my sin—sin by nature and sin by choice.  And this sin will keep me out of Heaven.  I am sorry.  And I ask for Your forgiveness.  Help me to repent.  Cleanse me.  Make me clean.  I believe that Christ Jesus came to take away my sins, so that I can come to Heaven.  And I believe that He did shed His perfect and sinless blood for me on the cross and did die for me there in my place.  And I believe that He rose again from the dead three days later on Earth’s first Easter.  I do ask You now, O living Saviour, to save my soul from Hell and to save my soul for Heaven in my eternal life to come.  Thank You, God.  In Jesus’s name I pray.  Amen.”

Right after this, the leprechaun in green called up to the girl in the gymnastics leotard, “Come down now, girl, so that I may hug you.”  And Jenney climbed down from the top of the pot of gold,

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and the two hugged in the Lord, and Danny Boy said to her, “Even the saints in Heaven are rejoicing over you, just as I am and just as you are, O righteous Jenney.”

She then asked, “Should I give you your Bible that you knew was in your pot of gold, Danny Boy?”

And he said, “I give it to you, fair young gymnast Christian.”  She thanked him in great gladness.  Then he began to walk away.

“Danny Boy, what about all of your gold?” she called out to him.

“I shall come back for that later, O sister-in-the-Lord,” he said.  “My God will help me to bring it back home.”  Then this leprechaun in green hopped away, singing the Irish classic song, “Danny Boy.”  And just like that he was gone.  This was how Jenney Penney Halsey had become a born-again Christian.  And this King James Bible, her first King James Bible, she now kept in her bedroom closet on its upper shelf in her most especial place in all of her Country House.

 

So how did Flanders Nickels go and find his personal Saviour?  The following narrative in third person point-of-view answers that most completely:

Flanders was fifteen years old then.   He was sitting upon a flat rock one sunny summer day right up at the edge of the Fox River.  The wind was strong and loud.  And it most pleasantly drowned out any distractions that might have been nearby.  And he stretched out his legs where he sat and put his bare feet into the river.  Then from above this river and in front of where Flanders was sitting on this river’s very lowest bank, a seagull came from the left and stopped and hovered above the river right before where Flanders was watching.  The wind was blowing from Flanders’s right and against the seagull.  Flanders assumed that this strong wind blowing against this seagull was hindering its way onward and that this seagull could not go on past to Flanders’s right.  This teenager came to admire this

simple and unpopular scavenger bird.  Then this gull suddenly dove down into the waters of this river

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and grabbed up a little something in its beak and came back up out of the water. It was a little minnow

that it had in its mouth.  And just like that, the gull flew off to Flanders’s right, quite against the wind, and with no difficulty.  And the boy understood now that this seagull had not been fighting the wind, but, rather, making use of the wind.  The wind must have made finding food in the waters that it stirred up more easy for the seagull.  And this seagull knew that by instinct.  Flanders, by intelligence, had not known that.  And this teenager fell in love with seagulls ever since.  He loved what they looked like.  He loved what they sounded like.  He loved what they did.

And in this strong wind that blocked out other noise, Flanders began to wonder in most spiritual reflection upon nature’s instinct and upon mankind’s intelligence.  Animals, by instinct, did know some things that mankind knew not yet.  And mankind, by intelligence, did know wisdom that animals could never learn.   The wind blew upon Flanders’s head and into his ears in sweet peace from God.  Who was the Maker of instinct?  Who was the Maker of intelligence?  Who created the animals of nature? Who created the mankind that dominated the Earth?  Did Flanders Nickels himself have a Creator?

Did even this strong wind have a Maker?

And Flanders Arckery Nickels, fifteen years old, asked the age-long question that all born as people must someday ask, “Who are You, Lord?”

And the Lord began to answer this boy’s prayer.  But not right away.  But a few days later.

It is written in Deuteronomy 4:29, “But if from thence thou shalt seek the Lord thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul.”  It is written again in Jeremiah 29:13, “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.”

And God sent to Flanders Nickels three fairies to answer his question—the Fairy of the Sky and the Fairy of the Land and the Fairy of the Water.

Flanders was on a winged horse one day that he had rented from a travel agent when he was on a trip to Florida.  And at a thousand feet in the air, he saw a Sky Fairy coming toward him from the

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south.  Flanders knew that she was sent by God, as all fairies were in this world.  So he said to his winged horse, “Whoa!” and his winged horse quit flying and instead hovered in the air.  And this Fairy of the Sky came alongside of him and also hovered in the air.  And Flanders talked to her way up here as he sat upon his winged horse.

“Are you Flanders Nickels, the lad who seeks the Lord?” she asked.

“That I am, good Sky Fairy,” he said to her.

“Well, Mr. Nickels, I know all about God,” she said.

“Would you tell me a little about Him?” he asked.

“I’d be glad to teach you Him,” she said.

“What do you know about Him?” he asked the Fairy of the Sky.

“I know that He has four official names,” she began.  “They are ‘Elohim’ and ‘Adonai’ and ‘Jehovah’ and ‘Yahweh.’”

“What are those four names in English?” he asked.

She said, “’Elohim’ means ‘God.’  ‘Adonai’ means ‘Lord.’  Jehovah’ means ‘LORD,’ one large capital ‘L’ followed by a three small capital ‘ORD.’  And ‘Yahweh’ is “YHWH’ the Tetragrammaton.”

“What do those words mean all about my Maker?” he asked the Fairy of the Sky.

“’Elohim’ by definition about God means ‘God in His creative power and in His authority and sovereignty.’  ‘Adonai’ by definition about the Lord means ‘God as master.’  ‘Jehovah’ by definition about the LORD means ‘the eternal one, the unchangeable one.’  And ‘Yahweh’ by definition about YHWH means ‘the self-existing one,’” said the Sky Fairy in great intellectual wisdom of the names of her Creator and Flanders’s Creator.

“You really know a lot about God, O Fairy of the Sky,” said Flanders.

“Not so much as born-again believers know about God,” said the Sky Fairy.  “Only born-again Christians can say that they know God personally. O Flanders Nickels who seeks Him.”

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“I need to know God just as personally,” said Flanders.  “I need to be born again.”

“That is why I have come,” said the Sky Fairy.  “God has sent me to hear such words from your mouth.  My work for God is done for now.”

“You are going away, O Fairy of the Sky?” asked Flanders.

“I must go away, and another must come,” said this Sky Fairy.  “I have planted the seed of salvation in your heart.  She who is to come must water this seed of salvation.”

And just like that she flew away, and Flanders and his rented winged horse continued on their flight to Florida.

The next day, Flanders was on Highway One, riding a rented donkey on his way to Key Largo.  He had never seen the Florida Keys before, and this was most different from all that he knew about Wisconsin.  So many little lands and so much big waters.  He said to his donkey, “I do not know much about islands.  And I knew nothing before about this great big gulf.”

Then a fairy came beside him, walking alongside where the donkey was that was carrying Flanders. This was a Fairy of the Land.  Flanders saw this fairy beside him, and he remembered the previous fairy, and he asked, “Good fairy, have you come for me from God?”

This fairy said, “I have come from God for Flanders Nickels.  Are you he?”

“That I am,” said Flanders.

“I am a Land Fairy,” said the messenger.  “I bid you halt your donkey so that I may tell you what God has for me to tell you.”

Flanders said to his transporting donkey, “Whoa.”  And the donkey stopped.  And Flanders

gave this fairy all of his attention.

This Fairy of the Land said, “Flanders, who seeks most needfully and sincerely upon how to be born again into the family of God, I say unto you that this Saviour has more names than any other personage in Heaven and in Earth.”

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“I know four of them, good Land Fairy,” said Flanders.

“And I know eleven more of them,” said the Fairy of the Land.

“Would you tell me them, kind fairy?” asked Flanders, sitting on his standing donkey.

“Let me start at the beginning and stop at the ending,” she said.  And she began to share her most erudite wisdom of Jesus the Saviour of the world in many of His other names and in the definitions of these names, preaching to Flanders thus:  “’Jehovah Rapha’ which means ‘The Lord Who Heals’; ‘Jehovah Jireh’ which means ‘The Lord Will Provide’; ‘Jehovah Nissi’ which means ‘The Lord Is My Banner’; ‘Jehovah Tsidkenu’ which means ‘The Lord Our Righteousness’; ‘Jehovah Tsaba’ which means ‘The Lord Of Hosts’; ‘Jehovah Shalom’ which means ‘The Lord Is Peace’; ‘Jehovah Shammah’ which means ‘The Lord Is There’; ‘Jehovah Bore’ which means ‘The Lord Creator’; ‘Jehovah Rohi’ which means ‘The Lord Our Shepherd’; ‘Jehovah Sabbaoth’ also which means ‘The Lord of Hosts’; and ‘Jehovah Maccaddeshem’ which means ‘The Lord Who Sanctifies.’”

“So many, many names that Christ Jesus has, and yet He is a stranger to me,” confessed Flanders.  “I need to get to know this God Who has so many names.  I need to make Him my Best Friend.  I need Him to call Him, ‘Lord.’”

“Very aptly and appropriately replied after having heard what I have come to say, sincere and humble Flanders,” said the Land Fairy.

“I want to make this Saviour of the world out there my own personal Saviour in here,” confessed Flanders, putting his right hand to his heart in indication.

“Amen, O Flanders.  You are not far from salvation,” said the Land Fairy.  “Those words that you have just spoken are the words that God has sent me to hear from you.  My work upon you for God is finished now.  I must go away to another seeker of God now.”

“You are leaving me, O godly Land Fairy?” asked Flanders.

“I must go away from you so that another can come unto you,” said the Fairy of the Land.  Then

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she said, “Flanders Arckery Nickels, I have this day watered the seed of the Word in your heart.  God must now give the increase of His Word.  And He will use another fairy to finish His work upon your searching heart.  It is written in Isaiah 55:9, that God’s Word will not return unto Him void.”  And the fairy turned around and began to walk off in another direction.  And Flanders and his donkey continued traveling down the major highway on his vacation, and soon they were in Key Largo.

The next day, Flanders was riding a rented dolphin in the waters of Lake Okeechobee, definitely the biggest lake in the state of Florida.  “Thank you for this good ride, good dolphin,” said Flanders.

Flanders had never learned  how to swim.  But he had always enjoyed wading.  But this riding in the lake was even more fun than wading in a lake.  And Flanders knew that this dolphin would keep him safe and that he would not slide off of its back.

Just then a fairy came along, swimming in this big lake, and she stopped alongside and called forth, “Flanders Nickels of Wisconsin?”

“I am he, O Fairy of the Waters,” he said.  And Flanders asked his dolphin if it would stop its swimming in the lake, and this dolphin dutifully stopped and stayed unmoving on the surface of the lake.  Flanders kept his hands upon its back for stability and sureness where he was sitting.

And this Water Fairy said to him, “I am sent of God to lead you through the sinners’ prayer.”

“What is this ‘sinners’ prayer,’ O benevolent Fairy of the Water?” asked the seeking Flanders Nickels.

And she answered him, saying, “The sinner’s prayer is the prayer where a lost person sincerely and humbly and definitely asks for and accepts God’s free gift of eternal life.”

“I am a sinner who needs to be saved,” he said to her.  “Could you right now lead me through this ‘sinners’ prayer?’”

“God has sent me to hear such words from your repentant lips,” said the Fairy of the Waters.  “I shall now complete the work of us three fairies.  And God shall give the increase.  Glory! Glory!

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Glory!” Then she bowed her head as she floated upon Lake Okeechobee before him.  He did in like.  And she said, “Pray what I pray, O man ready for so eternal redemption.”  And she began to lead him through this sinners’ prayer:  “Dear God in Heaven:”

“Dear God in Heaven:” he did pray.

“I sin, and You never sin,” she said.

“I sin, and You never sin,” he said.

“I am sorry for all of my sins, and they are all my fault,” she said.

“I am sorry for all of my sins, and they are all my fault,” he said.

“Forgive me and help me to repent,” she said.

“Forgive me and help me to repent,” he said.

“I believe that Jesus Christ willingly died on the cross to pay the price of my sin,” she said.

“I believe that Jesus Christ willingly died on the cross to pay the price of my sin,” he said.

“And I also believe that He came back to life three days later,” she said.

“And I also believe that He came back to life three days later,” he said.

“And I know that He is a living God in Heaven now Who can still save souls,” she said.

“And I know that He is a living God in Heaven now Who can still save souls,” he said.

“Please become my personal Saviour and give me eternal life with You in the glories of Heaven in my life to come,” she said.

“Please become my personal Saviour and give me eternal life with You in the glories of Heaven in my life to come,” he said.

“I thank You, O Good Lord,” she said.

“I thank You, O Good Lord,” he said.

“In Jesus’s name I pray,” she said.

“In Jesus’s name I pray,” he said.

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“Amen,” she said.

“Amen,” he said.

Both looked up from this prayer for salvation for Flanders.  A silent moment passed between the two there on the lake.  And this Angel of the Waters asked him, “How do you feel now that you are a born-again Christian, Flanders?”

Thinking back to where his search for God had begun, seemingly so long ago, but in truth just recently, Flanders said in great reflections, “I now know all about the Jesus of seagulls and the Jesus of instinct and the Jesus of intelligence and now, most of all, the Jesus Who has come to indwell my heart to save me from the fires of Hell.  Thank you for leading me to Christ, O wonderful and benign Water Fairy.”

“Your joy is my joy, O born-again believer,” said the Fairy of the Water.  “And our joy is God’s joy.  The joy of the Lord be ever with you.”

Then she began to swim away.  And Flanders and his dolphin watched as she went on to disappear off in the great distance of the waters of this great lake.

All of this true tale was the true testimony of Flanders’s true salvation.

It is written about so great salvation:  “Thou wilt shew me the path of life:  in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”  Psalm 16:11.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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CHAPTER XV

Flanders and Jenney were on another date together at his place, and all of their pets were also there with them.  They were in the part of his yard that lay in the midst of the seven stables for his saber-toothed tigers.  These stables were grand on the outside, but spartan on the inside.  That was so, because Flanders had to bargain with his big cat soldiers.  As Flanders wished, these seven stables on the exterior included columns and flying buttresses and mansard roofs and dormer windows.  And as Sawtooth and company wished, these seven stables in the interior had dirt floors and barren walls and

only one room, much like a horse barn.  And this yard amid these stables was exactly one acre large, and it was abundant with verdant grass of lawn, and it formed a heptagon shape with the seven stables forming seven sides of a polygon.  Right now Flanders and Jenney were sitting right upon the green grass, with their Bibles open on their laps.  And the saber-toothed tigers and the Timber wolves were playing rough-and-tough animal games here in this acre all around their master and mistress.

In today’s fellowship boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-the-Lord were looking up verses about curses that they knew about in the Holy Bible.  Flanders said, “And here’s another one, Jenney.  Psalm 109:6.”

And he read it out loud to her, “Set thou a wicked man over him:  and let Satan stand at his right hand.”

“Ooo,  That’s a good one, Flanders,” she said.  “And here’s one a few verses down.”  And she

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read this one out loud, “’Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow.’  Psalm 109:9.”

“Jenney, that’s a good way for a man to be dead,”  Both laughed.  Then he said, “And there’s another great one in this same chapter down in verse seventeen.”  And he read this verse out loud:  “As he loved cursing, so let it come unto him:  as he delighted not in blessing, so let it be far from him.”

“That’s even worse than ‘Do unto others as they do to you,’” said the beguiler girl.

“That’s not how it goes, goofy girl,” he said.

“I know.  I know,” she said with a laugh.  Then she said, “I’ve got another curse verse for you.”

“Where is it?” he asked.

“It’s in Acts 13:10,” she told him.

“Do tell me what it says,” he requested of her.

And she read this verse out loud, “And said, O full of all subtilty and all mischief, thou child of the devil, thou enemy of all righteousness, wilt thou not cease to pervert the right ways of the Lord?”

“I remember that verse,” said Flanders Nickels.  “The Apostle Paul said this to a sorcerer who was trying to keep a deputy from seeking Christ.  This deputy wanted to get saved, but the unsaved sorcerer did not want that to happen.  And Paul cursed this sorcerer with this curse, and this sorcerer was struck blind by God, and the deputy went on to find Christ as Saviour.”

“It has a happy ending for the good guys, Flanders,” said Miss Halsey.  Then she asked, “Are there any more such curses in the Bible?”

“I’ve got just the one,” said Flanders.  “It is the best curse of them all, Jenney.”

“Tell it all to me,” she said.

And he recited from memory, “’Let it rest on the head of Joab, and on all his father’s house; and

let there not fail from the house of Joab one that hath an issue, or that is a leper, or that leaneth on a staff, or that falleth on the sword, or that lacketh bread.’  II Samuel 3:29.”

“Whoa!  Five in one,” said the beguiler girl.

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“Do you remember the story?” he asked her.

“That I do remember,” she said.  “It seems that another messenger, thinking to bring King David good news, went and told David that his enemy was killed.  You know how many times that David said to his soldier, ‘Fall upon him.’ in reference to the one who slew the enemy of David, and that soldier did kill the one who killed David’s enemy.”

“David was a strange fellow that way,” said Flanders.  “Inexplicable.”

“Well, here in this case, Joab, the captain of King David’s army, had slain Abner, the captain of the army of King Ishbosheth.  King David and King Ishbosheth were contending over the throne of Israel.  And Abner had been David’s enemy for a long time. And in his odd ways, David, when he heard of Abner’s assassination,  grieved over Abner.  And David went on to utter his five-fold curse unto his friend Joab.”

“Yet David did not say to a soldier, ‘Fall upon Joab,’” said Flanders.  “Joab lived on.”

“His turn would come upon him a little later in the Bible,” said Jenney Halsey.

“I know two chapters that are so full of curses that these curses fill most of both chapters,” said Flanders.

“Where?” she asked.

“In Leviticus chapter 26 and in Deuteronomy chapter 28,” he said.  “In there God curses the disobedient most abundantly, Jenney.”

“Let’s read some, Flanders,” said the beguiler girl.

Just then a dirty black crow descended down from the sky and lighted upon the grass between the two fellow-shippers.  It had a little rolled up note on a string around its leg.  Ithe crow went on to say, “Caw!  Caw!  Caw!”  Flanders took the note, unrolled it, and read it out loud to them both:

“To:  The dragon-slayer Flanders Nickels

From:  The invincible Great Green Dragon

Re:  As written by the scribe of Saur.

 

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Man of God and of God’s artillery, I greet you with felicitations and malice.  May you be at rest and ready to die.  Hurry up and wait.  I am coming to you this day to finish my business with you. My last confrontation with you was most unsatisfactory.  My next confrontation with you shall be most satisfactory.  Caveat Lector,  Flanders, Jenney, Sawtooth and company, Timber and company.”

 

Jenney exclaimed, “He’s coming here!”

And Flanders said, “He’s coming back!”

The evil griffin was more formidable than was the evil unicorn, and this evil dragon was more formidable even than was the evil griffin.

Flanders sighed and said, “This time, Jenney, I will have my work cut out for me.”

“I remember my dream I had this morning now, Flanders,” said Jenney.  “I dreamed that I was reading Beowulf, but that it had a different ending.

“I read Beowulf myself,” said Flanders.  “The dragon slayer Beowulf slew the dragon Grendel.”

“In my dream, Flanders, the dragon Grendel slew the dragon slayer Beowulf.” said Jenney Halsey.

“Jenney, that was just a dream!” snapped Flanders at his girlfriend.  “I am not going to die today at the hands of a dragon!”

“We do not know that,” she said.

“My God has never lost a battle that I have fought for him,” said Flanders Nickels.

“Sometimes God wins even when his soldier loses,” said Jenney.

“The Devil must lose this battle of this day,” said Flanders.

“Flanders, you’re shouting,” said Jenney.

“I’m sorry, Jenney,” he said.  “I shall shout no more until I see malignant Saur standing before me.”

“I love the man who wields the Bronze Bow and Brass Arrows and Deerhide Quiver,” said fair and comely Jenney.

 

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“Your man wants you safe and sound,” said Flanders.

“You have my wolves to fight alongside of you,” said Jenney.

“And I have my saber-tooth tigers also as my allies.” he said.

“I shall fight for you and with you, also,” said Miss Halsey.  “I can throw rocks at him.  I can poke sticks into his eyes.  I can bite his toes.  I can scratch up his face with my nails.  I can be like Tracey and punch at him.”

“No.  No.  Good Jenney, God does not call women to slay dragons.  That is my ministry for Christ.  The man fights the battles.”

“If I cannot fight evil Saur, what do you think that God would will for me when the Great Green Dragon comes like he will. Flanders?” asked Jenney.

“You can pray,” said Flanders.

“Yes” agreed the girlfriend-in-Christ.  “I can do that great thing.”

“Your prayers for your boyfriend will do more harm to the dragon Saur than will my bow and arrow, beautiful Jenney,” he said to her.

“’…The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.’  James 5:16,” said Miss Halsey.

“Indeed in like can I say, ‘The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous woman availeth much,’” said the soldier of Christ in truth about his Jenney.

“Shall I pray right now, if you would like, Flanders?” asked Jenney.

“I believe that God would have you pray when the battle is taking place,” said Flanders.

“In the middle of the battle,” she said to make sure.  “In the midst of the battle.”

“You have not fear toward Saur’s wrath were you to fight him with your person.  Do not have fear toward Saur’s wrath when you fight him with prayer,” Flanders encouraged her.

“That is a little scary if Saur wants to get me, and there I am on my knees in prayer and not

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looking at him and not seeing him,” said the Christian girlfriend.

“It is written, my precious ally,” began the Christian warrior, “’But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me, my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.’  Psalm 3:3.”

“I shall trust God to keep me safe as my Shield and as my Glory and as the Lifter Up Of Mine Head,” promised his faithful girlfriend.

“You shall not faint in the Lord, my cherished Jenney,” he said encouragement.

“’And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint;” she said.  “Luke 18:1.”  And she promised further, rephrasing this verse for herself, “And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that women ought always to pray, and not to faint.”

Her vow exhorted Flanders himself now to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.

And he promised his believing girlfriend, “Now I am ready.”

And the dragon came.  He came in a lightning.  He came in a thunder.  He came in malice.  He came in vengeance.  He came to kill all here who were on God’s side.  He especially came to kill Flanders.

The great green dragon descended from the high skies like a rocket from above, and just before he would have struck the Earth, he ceased his rapid descent, and he stayed himself up in the air just above the roofs of the stables all around this one acre, and he hovered there, waiting so see what Flanders might do or might say.

Flanders himself looked icily up at his foe in a showdown of countenances, himself waiting to see what Saur might do or might say.

At once the girl got down on her knees and began praying to God in the silence of most loud thoughts and feelings and intercessions and petitions.

All around the standing artillery soldier and the kneeling prayer woman, the seven big cats began to roar up at Saur and the seven wolves began to howl up at Saur.  All fourteen warrior pets

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were leaping to try to get at the airborne dragon, these saber-tooth tigers trying to swipe him with a great paw and these timber wolves trying to bite him with many teeth.  But Saur wisely hovered up there well above their reach and did not descend yet to take them on on the ground.

Nevertheless, Saur was not beyond the reach of Flanders with his bow and arrow.  And Flanders nocked a Brass Arrow on his bowstring, drew back the bow, and aimed his projectile toward the dragon’s heart, this dragon not ten yards away from where Flanders stood.  Indeed it truly looked to the great soldier for God that his greatest foe might fall down dead in battle right after his arrow were to pierce his chest.  And this battle would be over with.  And everybody here could rest in the Lord.

Just then a form lighted upon Flanders’s shooting shoulder and he felt steady and strong claws holding onto him there, and he felt a certain weight bearing down upon his shooting arm.  He was forced to lower his Bronze Bow.  He looked to the side of his head to his right.  Behold, a wise owl of God perched upon his right shoulder.  “Good owl from God,” said Flanders, “do you have a note for me?”

And the Lord Who sent this owl did a miracle and opened the mouth of the owl.  And the owl said, “Flanders Nickels, O great archer of God, thus saith the Lord, ‘Do not shoot an arrow this day upon the dragon from Satan while his four dragon legs are yet in the air.’  Nay, God bids you, ‘Wait until Saur’s four dragon legs are all upon the ground before you shoot your arrow at him.’”  Then, having said this, the good and wise owl flew away back to God.  And Flanders wondered.  And he obeyed.  And he did not yet raise his artillery back up at the dragon again for now.

And the Great Green Dragon gloated upon seeing his enemy Flanders now forced to lower his arrow from him.  And he boasted and said a little too much to Flanders, saying, “I was just about to shoot fire out of my mouth at you, mortal man.  And my fire is faster and bigger and hotter now than it was the last time we did meet and contend.  This time before your arrow can get me and wound me, my fire will engulf you in a blaze, and you will be instantly burned to death.”

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This overt confidance only turned Flanders’s good faith in God into great faith in God.  And this was not to Saur’s benefit in battle right now.

Heeding the owl’s warning, Flanders called up to the dragon and said, “Why don’t you come down and fight me, Great Green Dragon?”

“You big cats are too noisy for me, and your woman friend’s wolves are too loud for me, Flanders,” said Saur.  “Send them away, and then I will come down and fight you.”

Red flags came up to Flanders’s discerning mind upon these deceptive words, and he said, “God’s will is that the tigers and the wolves must fight with me against you, Saur.”

“Flanders, I have a question to ask you,” said Saur, most guile-fully.

“You have a question to ask me?” asked Flanders.

“Yes,” said the wily dragon. And he asked his tricky question,  “Do you really think that only one arrow can kill a dragon?”

“My one arrow killed a unicorn.  My one arrow killed a griffin.  My one arrow can also kill a dragon,” said Flanders.

In eschewing further word games, Saur said to Flanders down below, “I was going to set you on fire, Flanders Nickels.  But now that I see all of these fine homes that you have built for your precious big cats, I would like to set them on fire now instead.” Then he said, “Fare you well, nice seven stables,”

Not able to stop this dragon from his evil, Flanders saw this fire-breathing dragon fly off to the nearest saber-toothed tiger stable, look down upon its roof, and shoot a stream of flames upon it.  And the stable began to be on fire.  This was Sawtooth’s home.

And disorder filled this acre among the saber-toothed tigers and among the timber wolves as the fourteen pets ran about in panic without guidance.  But Flanders stood there like a lion in the faith with no panic.  And Jenney knelt there like a lioness in the faith with no panic.  As the pets panicked, the

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master assessed the situation and waited upon God, and the mistress looked up to Heaven and prayed that God show her boyfriend His will for this battle.

Flanders Nickels now gave commands to his troops for this moment, “Sawtooth and company,  Timber and company, do not leave this acre.”

And the fourteen animals obeyed and did not flee battle.

And Saur continued shooting fires from his mouth onto the stables from above.

Flanders looked down upon the tip of his Brass Arrow in patience of the Lord.  It was still nocked in the bowstring of his Bronze Bow.  But the bowstring was not now drawn back.  Then this archer felt a weight come down upon his non-shooting shoulder where he was standing.  He again felt tight claws clamp firmly but painlessly upon his left shoulder.  Flanders turned his head to look to his left.  Lo, a great hawk from God with a note in its mouth upon a common white index card.  Flanders took the index card from its mouth with his hand that held the arrow.  And he read this note to himself silently:  “’In that day the Lord with his sore and great and strong sword shall punish leviathan the piercing serpent, even leviathan that crooked serpent; and he shall slay the dragon that is in the sea.’  Isaiah 27:1.”  This was a Scripture verse that had the great and terrible power of the Holy Spirit behind it.  Such a curse upon dragons Flanders had never seen before in all the Holy Bible.  Surely this Word of God could smite the great green dragon hard.  Then the Lord opened the mouth of the stalwart messenger hawk, and the hawk said, “Flanders, in this day the Lord with His archer’s bow and arrow shall slay the dragon that is on the land.”  Then the hawk flew off to go back to God.

Flanders looked back up at Saur to see if he were standing on the earth, but he was yet up in the air.  Then Flanders held up this Bible verse curse upon dragons, and he read it out loud to declare it to mighty Saur to strike him down with the Word of God.  But when Flanders finished proclaiming it, Saur was still unfazed and still okay and still doing his evil work.  And the well Great Green Dragon continued shooting fire out of his mouth, in the middle of going from stable to stable, setting them on

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fire one by one.  That was not how God wanted him to use this Bible verse index card.  But God would soon tell him how he must use this powerful Word of God.

And in this fire and in this smoke and in this heat, the Great Green Dragon looked to be winning this battle for now.

Then from way up in the air directly above, there appeared an eagle that was descending slowly in a spiral down toward Flanders, with its eagle wings spread out wide left and right.  It was coming down slowly, but steadfastly.  And it was sent by the Good Lord.  Flanders held up his left wrist, his right hand now holding both the bow and the arrow.  And the great eagle lighted upon the man’s wrist, its grip hard and firm, but in the Lord.  In the beak of the eagle was held crosswise a little flaming torch almost a foot long.  And around the neck of this eagle was a little chain with a tiny can of wood alcohol attached to it in front of its neck.  And the Lord opened the mouth of this eagle, and it said, “Flanders Nickels, God brings you fire.  In this battle, you must fight fire with fire.”  The eagle then lifted up from Flanders’s free wrist, hovered before him at chest level, and proffered the soldier his two gifts from God.  And Flanders took the little torch and the tiny can of methanol in his left hand.  And the great eagle messenger then flew off back up to Heaven.

Right now this acre between the blazing stables was filling up with choking black smoke that stung the eyes and that took breath out of the lungs.  And the heat of the fires was singing all sixteen warriors for God who were in this acre.  And flaming pieces of stables and very many burning embers were flying about and landing everywhere. And now Saur began to shoot fire and set in blaze the last of the seven big cat stables that was left.  And the dragon laughed.  Then he said, “Flanders down there,

are you comfortable?  After I finish burning the stables, I will then burn your girlfriend’s wolves.  And after I finish burning your girlfriend’s wolves, I will then burn your saber-toothed tigers.  And after I finish burning your saber-toothed tigers, I will then burn your woman.  And then after I finish burning your woman,  I will then burn you.”

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Flanders continued studying his gifts from his avian messengers.  He asked himself, “What would a Christian soldier do who marches on to war?”  And it came to him in a great spiritual revelation!  Of course.  It made all the sense in the world.  It had to work.  And the great Christian archer set about to do his work.  He at once took his index card with God’s written Word and pierced his Brass Arrow tip through it and slid this Bible verse card down halfway down the shaft of the arrow.

He then went on to take his little bottle of alcohol—indeed a most combustible liquid—and he poured it empty upon the tip of his Brass Arrow until this tip was dripping with alcohol.  And then he took this little torch of flame and put it up against the tip of his arrow.  Lo, a flaming arrow enhanced with the Word of God!  This was the arrow that he must fire at the Great Green Dragon once his four dragon feet touched the ground.  Flanders then nocked his dragon-killing arrow in his bowstring, drew back on the bowstring, and raised his Bronze Bow, aiming it at the dragon above.  And he called upon the name of Almighty God.

Undaunted and arrogant, from above, Saur looked down upon Flanders as he was now, and Saur   said, “No, Flanders.  I think instead, that first I will set your girl on fire.”  And Saur opened his mouth to shoot fire out down upon the praying woman where she was still on her knees in prayer to the prayer-answering God.

Lo, fire did not come out of his mouth this time.  The dragon opened his mouth to try again.

And this second time no fire shot out of his mouth. He tried a third time, and again no fire.  In consternation, the Great Green Dragon cursed God and said, “I ran out of fire!”  He tried for a fourth time and failed again.  And again failed in his fifth attempt.  And his attempts at forcing fire to come out brought upon him a spasm of choking in his throat.  And he began to cough and to wheeze and to gasp.  And his wings began to fail him where he was hovering.  And his dragon body fell upon fatigue.

He unwisely tried more times to shoot fire down upon Flanders’s girlfriend.  And each time no fire would come out and strength left his dragon body.  And Saur fell upon exhaustion.  And he slowly

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began to descend toward the ground against his will.

Behold, the Great Green Dragon lighted upon the Earth.  He stood beside the kneeling Miss Halsey.  And his four dragon feet were planted physically upon the ground.

And Flanders Nickels fired his enhanced Brass Arrow toward Saur’s chest.  And the fortified arrow of God pierced Saur right through his heart.  And Saur fell in battle.  And he rolled over on his back, the strengthened arrow sticking out from between his scales.  He no longer moved.  His eyes were closed.  He might have been dead right then.

Flanders then commanded his troops, “Wolves and tigers, attack!”

And the fourteen animal warriors assaulted the supine draconic beast where he lay.  And if he were not quite dead from the arrow of God and archer, he was truly dead soon after with fourteen savage carnivores biting into his form.

Then Jenney looked up from her prayer.  She said, “Woo,  What a time I just had with God, Flanders.  I even forgot where I was, the Holy Spirit so listening to me as He was.  What happened?”

“Saur fell in battle,” said Flanders.

“Oh good,” said the beguiler woman.  “I thought so.”  She then discovered the dragon carcass

lying off to her side.  “Ooo.   He’s really dead.  Isn’t he?  Yick.”  She then got back to her feet and stepped away from the carcass.  Then she said, “Such smoke and fire and heat I now feel here.  That dragon did some pretty bad things.”

“I am not sure what to do now quite yet,” said Flanders.  “Maybe we should all get out of here for now and come back later.”

“I think that we could pray right here and right now,” said Jenney Halsey.  Flanders paused to think upon her counsel.  And before he could reply, Jenney prayed, “God, would you clean up this mess for us?”

Lo, the windows of heaven opened up, and great torrents of rain came down upon this acre and

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and upon all things and people and animals in this acre.  And the fires were all put out by this rainstorm.  And the great rain put out all of the flying cinders that had been in the air.  And the wind of this storm blew away all of the black smoke that had filled this little yard. And all was as it was.

Flanders looked upon his gymnast girlfriend in wonder.  And she liked that very much.

But the dead dragon body remained, the hunting animals devouring it in much hunger.  She said, “Should I pray that God take away the dead dragon, too, Flanders?”

One up on her this time, Flanders said, “Let the animals fill up on him.  They are hungry after this battle.  By the time they are done eating, there will be nothing left of Saur.”

“You’re right at that, Flanders.” said Jenney Halsey.

“Could you pray that God repair the stables, Jenney?” he asked.

She cocked her head to the side at him and gave him a look in her eyes that said, “Silly man.”

In understanding and in submission to God, Flanders said in agreement, “That’s my job.”

“Could I help you fix up all the stables?” she asked.

“I would like that very much, Jenney,” said Flanders.

“Flanders,” said Jenney.

“Yes?” asked Flanders.

“Thank you for fighting today,” said Jenney.

“You are welcome,” said Flanders.  “And Jenney?” he asked.

“Yes, Flanders?” asked Jenney.

“Thank you for praying today,” said Flanders.

“You’re very welcome,” said Jenney.

 

 

 

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CHAPTER XVI

“So, Proffery, this is what a G.E.D. looks like,” said Tracey.

“I studied hard.  I passed the test.  Now I am an official high school graduate,” said Proffery.

“It looks real.  And yet it does not look real,” she said.

“Would I show you a fake G.E.D. diploma, woman?” he snapped.

“I know mine is real.  I graduated from a real high school,” she said.  “You never graduated from a real high school, Proffery,” said Tracey.

“Are you saying that my high school diploma is one for dummies, and your high school diploma is one for smarties?” asked Proffery.

“Proffery, you could not even get past ninth grade in the real high school you came from,” said Miss Title.

“I never saw you go on to college,” he said. “You are not exactly an intellectual yourself, you know.”

“I am wise in boxing,” she bragged.

“It does not take a lot of education for a woman to punch,” he mocked her.

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“At least what I do for a living is a real job, Proffery,” she yelled.

“At least what I do for a living makes a lot of money, Tracey,” he yelled back.

“All-Star Wrestling!” she said in a huff.

“Do not mock my livelihood,” he warned her.  “I study harder for that than even I did for this G.E.D. diploma.”

“My boyfriend:  half-anthropoid and half-man,” Tracey scorned Proffery.

“My girlfriend:  half-woman and half-man.” Proffery scorned Tracey right back.

“I am not masculine because I box for a living!” she yelled at him.

“Nor am I stupid because I wrestle for a living!” he yelled at her.

“A young woman like myself wants for a boyfriend a knight in shining armor, Proffery!” yelled Tracey.  “And what do I get?  A dumb jock!”

“What real men want in a girlfriend is ‘barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen,’” hollered Proffery.  “And I get a pugilist!”

She dared to raise her fist toward him.  He extended his jaw toward her to dare her to slug him.

Then in a pique of rage, Tracey turned around and began to walk away from him.  Equally angry at her, he turned around and began to walk away from her.  She went out the front door; he went out the back door.  They were leaving Tracey’s house, she toward the south and he toward the north.

Though they had had many fights between each other before, none before were as caustic as this one.

They would be back.  Today.  And this fight was not yet done.  This contention would get worse.  And this time it would reach a culmination.

After a long walk of promises to herself for revenge, Tracey eventually turned to walk back home.  As for Proffery, where he was, he just kept walking, talking to himself about what he would have to do to get vengeance on Tracey.  And he did not turn to walk back to his home till later.

And when Tracey got back home, she said to herself, “I’m going to break something of his.”

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And she put on her boxing gloves to go over to his house and to break something of his.

Their houses were right next door to each other.  And in her great wrath she did not pause to consider whether he were home or not.  She just went right in, and she looked around to see what she could break of his with her boxing gloves that would hurt him the most in his life.  He was yet far away from his house right now.  Tracey had free reign to wreck his house with her punches.  She searched all of the rooms in his spacious three-story house, looking for just the right thing to punch up on after all that he had said to her today.  And when she came to his living room the second time, she saw it.  It was there in its shiny glory.  It was resting flat upon the mantel of his fireplace.  And it was his pride and joy.  There lay his Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship belt.  She must wreck this so that it could never look the same again—especially to himself.  With her boxing gloves still on and now getting warm from her having been on for this long search throughout the house, Tracey Title grabbed a hold of this W.W.F. belt, and she set it upon the bricks of the threshold of this fireplace, and she spread it out flat upon the bricks.  Then she said to the Proffery that was not here, “Do unto others as they do unto you!”  And she let loose a most enjoyable and pleasant working over upon this wrestling belt with her boxing gloves.  Punch after punch.  Moment after moment.  And after a minute, she felt satisfaction.  And she was done.  And she looked upon the deed that she had just done.  Everywhere on this great belt were dents and dings and scrapes.  Then the mad Tracey began to think upon what she had just done.  He madness was gone now.  And she felt calm now.  And she began to reconsider what she had just done.  Maybe Proffery better not find out.  She put this belt back up upon the mantel of the fireplace.  She ought to hide this belt.  She ought to make it look like she did not do this to this belt.  She must make it look like someone else did this to the belt.  First of all she had to take off her boxing gloves.  That she did.  And she shook them off of her fists and let them fall down upon the bricks of the fireplace threshold.  She thought she heard a noise.  Was it Proffery coming home now?  She fled out his back door and escaped to home.  It was not Proffery coming home.  It was just a noise she thought

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heard.  She was immediately back home.  And she locked all the doors and now felt safe and secure in her house.

Not long later, Proffery came walking back to his big house.  The first thing he saw were Tracey’s boxing gloves lying on his living room floor before his fireplace.  And the next thing he saw was his vandalized wrestling belt lying upon the mantel of his fireplace.  Putting together these two pieces of evidence, Proffery could tell what had happened.  He said between his teeth to himself, “That wench did this to me.”  And inside his heart the gates of Hell opened up in fury and in storm.  And he now stalked to Tracey’s house, himself now crazy mad.

He took the door to her house and ripped it open, lock and all.  And he chased her down and caught her in her hallway.  And he grabbed a hold of her from in back in both of his powerful arms, and he lifted her up off of her feet, and he gave her a ferocious bear hug that would have made any guy wrestler to have to submit.  And the breaking of a bone came sickeningly upon Tracey’s ears.  Proffery had just broken a rib in Tracey’s chest.  And he suddenly cooled down.  In fact if it weren’t for this one rib having broken so loudly, Proffery would have been liable to go on and break more ribs in his vicious bear hug of the woman.  Instead he felt that he had just done wrong.  And his conscience now quenched the fires of revenge that had so driven him here.  He then let go of Tracey from his bear hug, and she was dropped to the floor in a faint heap.  Having found his vengeance and finding it not so sweet as he had thought it would be, he then left Tracey sprawled there, and he walked back to his house.

Tracey cried.

Proffery groaned.

Tracey needed to talk to Jenney real bad now.

And Proffery had to talk now to Flanders.

Rallying, on her hands and knees, Tracey crawled to her phone and called her best friend and

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asked her, “Jenney.  I need help.  Would you come over right now?  I’m ready to talk to you about God.”

Proffery, vexed beyond his senses, was still wise enough to call up his friend Flanders and ask him, “Flanders.  I did a real bad thing.  Could you come over and talk to me about the Lord?  I think that I need Him now.”

Jenney came over right away at Tracey’s house, and she took one look at her best friend, and she said, “What happened?”

Tracey replied, “Proffery and I got into another fight.  This was the worst fight that we ever got into.  He squeezed me and broke a rib.  It hurts a little.”  In truth, it really hurt a lot.

And Flanders came over right away to Proffery’s house.  Proffery showed him the terrible thing that had happened to his dear wrestling belt.  And Flanders was shocked, and he asked, “Who did that, Proffery?”

And Proffery said in difficulty, “My Tracey did that.  With those.”  He pointed down to Tracey’s boxing gloves down upon the floor.

Jenney asked Tracey, “How come he did that to you?”

And Tracey said, “Because I did a bad thing to his championship wrestling belt that I should never have done.”

And Flanders asked Proffery,  “Did you go and get even with her again this time?”

“I did, Flanders,” said Proffery.  “I went over to her place and gave her a bear hug that she will never forget.  I wish so now that I had not done that.”

Jenney asked Tracey, “How bad a thing did you do to his wrestling belt, Tracey?”

And Tracey said, “I punched it all full of dents, Jenney.”

“Ooo, Tracey.  That was not the right thing to do.” said Jenney.

“I know.  I know,” confessed Tracey.

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Flanders asked Proffery, “How bad a bear hug did you give her?”

And Proffery said “A bear hug bad enough that we both heard a rib of hers break.”

“Ouch.  Proffery.  That was so wrong of you,” said Flanders.

“That was the worst thing that I had ever done to the woman,” confessed Proffery.

Then Tracey began to repent, and she said, “Jenney, I brought all of this upon myself.”

And Proffery, himself seeking repentance, said, “Flanders, this is all my fault.”

In Tracey’s house now, Jenney now finally found the door opening for her to tell her lost best friend all about Jesus.

And in Proffery’s house, Flanders came upon the same blessing for him with his lost best friend.

 

And Jenney Halsey began to share Christ with Tracey with Tracey finally now ready to listen.

Miss Halsey said quite frankly, “Tracey, you need to get saved.”

And Tracey asked, “Jenney, what must I do to get saved?”

Jenney said, “Only believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will get saved, O Tracey.”

Tracey asked, “What must I believe about the Lord Jesus Christ that will get me saved?”
And Jenney began to preach her Saviour to Tracey who was getting ripe for so great salvation now for her first time before Jenney’s very eyes:  “You must believe that Jesus died for your sins and rose again from the dead.  That is called ‘the Gospel.’”

“How did Jesus die for my sins?” asked Tracey.

“By way of crucifixion on the old rugged cross of Calvary,” said Jenney.

“The cross,” said Tracey.  “Is that where they nailed His hands and His feet to the boards?”

“Yes, Tracey,” said Jenney.

“That has to hurt a lot!” said Tracey.

“On the cross my Jesus suffered more than any other man suffered ever on this Earth,” said

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Jenney.

“More than people down in Hell?” asked Tracey.

“That I do not know,” said Jenney.

“Why did Jesus go and let that happen to Him if He was God?” asked Tracey.

“Because of His love for us, Tracey,” said Jenney.  “Jesus saw all of us as lost sheep in need of a Shepherd.”

“Do you mean that nobody made Him go to the cross?” asked Tracey.

“Indeed He had come so that He would go to the cross,” said Jenney.

“Jesus probably knew that this was going to happen to Him,” said Tracey.

“Yes,” said Jenney.  “He already knew about Calvary for all of eternity past.”

“What is so great about this cross of Calvary that the Lord Jesus had to die for me there?” asked Tracey.  “Why on Earth would God, of all people, have to die just for me?”

“To save you from your sins,” said Jenney.

“I am definitely that—a sinner real bad,” said Tracey.

“Jesus Christ died for your sins so that you don’t have to go to Hell and pay for your sins for forever in flaming fires.” said Jenney.

“Only the Good Lord could love me that much,” said Tracey.  “I hardly deserved Him to do all of that!”

“And Jesus died for your sins, Tracey, so that you can go to Heaven and live in perfect peace with Him for forever,” said Jenney.

“Heaven sounds more good than Hell sounds bad,” said Tracey.

“It was the shedding of His blood that has redeemed me, Tracey, and it was the shedding of His blood that can redeem you, too,” said Jenney.

“There must be something different about Jesus’s blood than about anybody’s else blood,” said

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Tracey.

“Oh there is.  There surely is,” said Jenney.  “Jesus’s blood was perfect blood with no sin in it at all.”

“Himself being God, His blood must be impeccable,” said Tracey.

“Jesus never sinned one time in His whole life,” said Jenney.

“Even as a man, the Lord could not sin,” said Tracey.

“Jesus is Spirit and Truth, and we are flesh and blood,” said Jenney.

“And He was the One Whom they crucified when it should have been myself who was crucified,” said Tracey.  “That is perfect love.”

“It is called ‘agape love,’” said Jenney.

“But it did not end there,” said Tracey.  “You said something about Jesus rising again from the dead.”

“The miracle of Easter,” said Jenney.  “The resurrection indeed.”

“The dead Christ came back to life,” said Tracey.  “Is that what you’re saying, Jenney?”

“Uh huh!” said Jenney, nodding her head.  “Christ rose again on the third day.”

“Is such a thing possible?” asked Tracey with hope.

“With God all things are possible,” said Jenney.  “And Jesus is both the Son of God and God the Son.”

“What does this ‘third day’ mean?” asked Tracey.

“It means ‘the third day after His death,’” said Jenney.

“I can see how Jesus can still save souls today, seeing that He is living again these past two thousand years,” said Tracey.

“A Christ still dead could not save anybody,” said Jenney.

“He could not stay dead,” said Tracey.

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“Death could not keep Him,” said Jenney.

“I heard of a hymn called ‘Christ Arose!’” said Tracey.  “I think now that I’m beginning to like that hymn.”

“I love all the Easter hymns,” said Jenney.  “’Christ Arose’ and ‘Christ the Lord Is Risen Today’ and ‘He lives.’”

“I can see now that the resurrection of Christ is a miracle of miracles.” said Tracey.

“It is the greatest event of history,” said Jenney.

“This death of Jesus and this burial of Jesus and this resurrection of Jesus—all of this is called ‘the Gospel’ then?” asked Tracey.

“It is called ‘the Gospel’ and ‘the saving Gospel’ and ‘the Gospel of salvation,” said Jenney.

“I want this Saviour for my own right now!” proclaimed Tracey Title.

Never before had Jenney heard such wondrous nine words ever spoken by her best friend as these nine words that her Tracey had just declared unto her right now.  Of all things that Jenney had seen Tracey make up her mind to do, getting saved like this had never been one of them.  It was almost too good to be true; but this was true, and it was good.  And Jenney did not waste any time in leading her to salvation.  Line-by-line Jenney led Tracey through the prayer that would get her saved.  And this was the sinners’ prayer that Jenney had Tracey to pray:  “Dear God in Heaven:  I am a good woman boxer, but a bad woman of sin.  What I did just now to my boyfriend’s championship wrestling belt is nothing compared to what I did to You on the cross.  I deserve to go to Hell, even if the vandalism I did today were the only wrong thing I ever did in life.  I am sorry for all of the bad things that I had done in my life.  And I am sorry for all of the good things that I had not done in my life.  Could you forgive a wretched woman like myself?  Clean me up.  Cleanse me from myself.  Help me to repent in Your name.  I confess now, Father, how You in Your compassion for me did sacrifice Your only begotten Son Jesus Christ on the old wooden cross to pay the penalty for my sins that I sinned both by nature and by

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choice.  And I also confess now how the Lord Jesus Christ did rise from the grave in the glorious and miraculous resurrection of God Himself.  Please look down upon me now from Up There and hear my prayer from down here.  Save my soul; become my Saviour; give me everlasting life in Heaven.  Thank

You, O Good Lord.  In Jesus’s name I pray.  Amen.”

Tracey Index Title was now a born-again believer just like Jenney was.

And the first thing that Tracey said was. “I forgive Proffery.  I need to apologize to him and to ask for his forgiveness.”

 

Flanders declared to Proffery at Proffery’s house, “You are all wrong before God, good friend.”

And Proffery asked Flanders, “How can I get right with God.”

And Flanders said to Proffery, “Marvel not that I say unto you, ‘You must be born again.’”

And Proffery asked Flanders, “Would you tell me everything about how I can be born again?”

And Flanders, finding the door now finally opening wide to Proffery’s heart, began to tell him the plenary plan of salvation, Proffery’s soul now fruit ready for the picking unto so good redemption.  He said, “Proffery, the first thing you need to understand is that you are a sinner who cannot help himself and who cannot save himself.”

He said, “Flanders, all my life I dreamed that I could become a professional wrestler.  And that I did do, as you can tell, and I have become a star with many fans.  But today, I took my all-star wrestling skills and I turned them against a woman.  I was a brute today.  What I did to Tracey was the worst thing that ever happened to her.  And what I did to her was the worst thing that I had ever done to anybody.  I should go to Hell for that.  I do not want to go to Hell, Flanders.  Can your God help me?”

“God had come in the Person of Jesus so that He can save people from their sins,” said Flanders.

“I am too bad for Jesus to save me,” said Proffery.

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“No soul is too lost that God cannot save him,” said Flanders.

“No one is so bad that he cannot be saved then?” asked Proffery.

“Jesus saves to the uttermost, good friend,” said Flanders.  “He saved me; He can surely save you, too.”

“What a God this Jesus is!” said Proffery, finding hope now for his lost soul.

Flanders then went on to say, “The second thing that you need to know is the Gospel.”

“You told me one time that the Gospel is also called ‘the good news,’” said Proffery.

“It is the good news of Jesus dying on the cross and rising from the dead the third day,” said Flanders.

“It starts out like bad news for Jesus and ends up like good news for Jesus,” said Proffery upon hearing the bipartite message of the Gospel.

“It is written, ‘Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.’  Hebrews 12:2,” recited Flanders.

“Jesus did that for good people like you, Flanders,” said Proffery in simplicity.

“No, Proffery, he did that for all of us bad people,” said Flanders.

“You mean that He died on the cross for lost people like myself and not just for saved people like yourself, Flanders?” asked Proffery.

“I was a lost person before I was a saved person, Proffery,” said Flanders.

“If that is true, Flanders, then Jesus died for me while I am still in all of my sins,” said Proffery.

“And He arose from the grave to show that He had power over death,” said Flanders.

“I am afraid to die,” said Proffery.  “If I die right now, I will go to Hell right now.”

“Jesus is the God of life.  He wants to give you eternal life, Proffery,” said Flanders.

“You mean like ‘everlasting life,’ Flanders?” asked Proffery.

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“Yes, Proffery,” said Flanders.

“Aren’t those two things other words for ‘Heaven,’ Flanders?” asked Proffery.

“Yes, Proffery,” said Flanders.

“How can I get this life in Heaven for myself to look forward to?” asked Proffery.

“That is the third thing that you need to know,” said Flanders.  “And that is that all you need to do to get saved is to ask the Lord to save your soul for you.”

“You make it sound like I do not have to do anything in order to get to go to Heaven and in order to not have to go to Hell,” said Proffery.

“All you have to do to get saved, Proffery, is to humble yourself before God Almighty, and ask Him to save your lost soul, and to leave it at that,” said Flanders.

“Why that would be making it completely free!” said Proffery.

“God made it easy,” said Flanders.  “Jesus did the hard part for us.”

“I believe,” said Proffery very good words from the Holy Spirit’s calling.

“’For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.’  Romans 10:13,’ recited Flanders a great salvation verse.

And again Proffery said, “I believe,” this second such confession proving his first such confession.

“Shall we pray and get you saved right now, Proffery?” asked Flanders.

“What does one like myself say to One like God at a time like this?” asked Proffery.  “What kind of words must I say to the Lord in asking for my own salvation?”

“I will lead you through the prayer line-by-line, Proffery,” said Flanders.

“You say it, and I will say it after you,” said Proffery.

They bowed their heads.  A silent moment passed.  And Flanders began:  “Dear God in Heaven:”

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“Dear God in Heaven:” began Proffery.

“I am a man who beat up on a woman today,” said Flanders.

“I am a man who beat up on a woman today,” said Proffery.

“And I did a whole lifetime of other sins besides that one,” said Flanders.

“And I did a whole lifetime of other sins besides that one,” said Proffery.

“I am sorry.  Please forgive me.  Help me to repent of sin,” said Flanders.

“I am sorry.  Please forgive me.  Help me to repent of sin,” said Proffery.

“I believe the Gospel this time,” said Flanders.

“I believe the Gospel this time,” said Proffery.

“Jesus did die on the cross two thousand years ago,” said Flanders.

“Jesus did die on the cross two thousand years ago,” said Proffery.

“And Jesus did arise from the dead three days later,” said Flanders.

“And Jesus die arise from the dead three days later,” said Proffery.

“I ask You now to become my personal Saviour,” said Flanders.

“I ask You now to become my personal Saviour,” said Proffery.

“I ask You now to give me everlasting life with You in Heaven,” said Flanders.

“I ask You now to give me everlasting life with You in Heaven,” said Proffery.

“I’m trusting You, and You alone, to save my soul,” said Flanders.

“I’m trusting You, and You alone, to save my soul,” said Proffery.

“In Jesus’s name I do pray,” said Flanders.

“In Jesus’s name I do pray,” said Proffery.

“Amen,” said Flanders.

“Amen,” said Proffery.  This sinners’ prayer was done.

And Flanders said, “Congratulations, Proffery.  You have now become a born-again Christian.”

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And Proffery Rule Coins said, “I’ve got to go over to Tracey’s house and tell her that I forgive her and to ask her if she could forgive me,”

Tracey was walking to Proffery’s house with a little help from Jenney, and Proffery was running to Tracey’s house way ahead of Flanders.  And they met at the halfway point.

And they told each other the great thing that happened for their souls.  And they asked for forgiveness from each other.  And they gave forgiveness to each other.  And they hugged in the Lord, gently so as to not make the broken rib in Tracey’s chest hurt worse.  And Proffery promised, “I will help you to get well from what I did to you.”

And Tracey promised, “And I will, with a little help from God, make your wrestling belt good as new again.”

Lost boyfriend and lost girlfriend had now become boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ.  Their many vicious fights were not going to happen again.  And the bond of the Holy Spirit would enhance their dating relationship to now be much like the dating relationship between Jenney and Flanders.  Tracy and Proffery were now daughter of God and son of God.  Their sinners’ prayer that their two best friends had led them through had made them to be born again into the family of God.

All four believers standing outside here now between the two houses, Tracey said, “Now, Proffery, you and I can be dating forever in Heaven, just like Jenney and Flanders will.”

And Proffery went on to say, “Better yet, Tracey, we four here now can double-date forever in Heaven.”

Jenney said, “We four can go and see Jesus There together,”

And Flanders said, “We four can walk and talk with Jesus Up There together.”

“Amen!” said Tracey for her first time as a new convert.

“Amen to that!” said Proffery also for his first time as a believer.

God is Good and Great and Grand.

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CHAPTER XVII

The group of four Christians were gathered together in fellowship in the Rural Gymnasium, the seven wolves and the seven saber-toothed tigers in here also with them.

Tracey said, “Jenney, I never thought to see the day when you let your timber wolves walk around in here.”

And the beguiler girl said, “If Jesus is good enough to save the souls of you and Proffery, then my wolves are good enough to come into my gym.”

Flanders said, “And thank you, Jenney, for letting my big cats in here as well.”

And Jenney said, “If you are not too good for a girl like me, Flanders, surely my gym is not too good for your seven pets, either.”

“Well,” said Proffery, “you and I have been saved for about a month now, Tracey.”

“My rib is well now,” said Tracey.

“About my wrestling belt, Tracey…I am all right about it now,” said Proffery.  “I was making an idol out of it, but now Jesus is my God.”

“I’ve been doing some good things to it, boyfriend,” said Tracey.

“Some good things?” asked Proffery.  “You did ask to borrow it the other day, and I did lend it to you.”

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“I was working on it all day yesterday, doing good things, and it is now on the desk up in Jenney’s mezzanine,” said Tracey.

“You were working on it,” said Proffery without concealing hope in his voice.

“Uh huh, boyfriend,” said Tracey.  “Go up and look at it and tell me if it does not make you happy.”

“That I will do,” said Proffery.  And he ran up the steps to the mezzanine, raced up to Jenney’s desk, and looked upon his W.W.F. heavyweight intercontinental championship belt so neatly stretched out upon the desktop.  Lo, there remained on his belt not any dent or ding or scratch anywhere throughout all of it.  In fact it looked brand new.  Proffery could not now tell that it had once been quite  wrecked.  “Woman, I love you!” he called down to the gym floor below.  Then he asked, “How did you do it?”

And Tracey Title said, “I put it down upon the sidewalk face down, and I put on my boxing gloves, and I punched down upon it upside down.  And after several hours of this, I did undo all of the dents and the dings and the scratches that I had so terribly put into it when it was face up on the hearth.

You can say that everything I had done in my rage against your belt I did reverse by doing it all backwards this time in the Lord.”

“Girl, you love me,” said Proffery.

“How does it look?” she asked.

“Almost as pretty as you, Tracey,” said Proffery.  “Thank you.  Thank you.”

“My man deserves only the best from his woman,” said Tracey.

“For now on my woman will get only the best from her man,” said Proffery.

Flanders said, “It is so good that now all four of us can name the name of Jesus.”

Jenney said, “It is written about the name of Jesus, ‘Praise ye the Lord.  Praise, O ye servants of the Lord, praise the name of the Lord.  Blessed be the name of the Lord from this time forth and for

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evermore.  From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same the Lord’s name is to be praised.’  Psalm 113:1-3.”

“It is written again about the name of the Lord,” began Flanders, “’Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name:  That at the name of Jesus every  knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth;  And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.’  Philippians 2:9-11.”

Tracey sang the chorus to the hymn “Take the Name of Jesus with You” that she learned last Sunday on her first day of church with Jenney:

“Precious name, O how sweet!  Hope of earth and joy of heav’n;

Precious name, O how sweet!  Hope of earth and joy of heav’n.”

 

And Proffery went on to sing the chorus of his new favorite hymn–”The Name of Jesus”– that

 

he had discovered at So Great Salvation Baptist Temple:

 

“’Jesus’–O how sweet the name, ‘Jesus’–ev’ry day the same;

‘Jesus’–let all saints proclaim Its worthy praise forever!”

 

 

Tracey then asked, “Jenney, what do you suppose the name of Jesus means by definition””

“Oh, I know that,” said Jenney.  “’Jesus’ means ‘Saviour.’”

Proffery asked, “What does the name of ‘Christ’ mean by definition?’

And Flanders said, “’Christ’ means ‘the Anointed One.’”

“How many names does Jesus have?” asked Proffery.

“The answer to that question I would doubt that even Bible scholars have an answer to,” said Jenney.

“Lots,” said Tracey.

“Flanders knows all the names of Jesus in the book of Revelation,” the beguiler girl bragged on her boyfriend.  “He has indeed memorized them over and over again.”

 

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“Tell us some of them,” said Tracey.

 

“I memorized them,” said Flanders.

“Tell us all of them,” said Proffery.

Flanders Nickels went on to tell all of them:  “Jesus is ‘Him, which is, and which was, and which is to come.’  Jesus is ‘the faithful witness.’  Jesus is ‘the first begotten of the dead.’  Jesus is ‘the prince of the kings of the earth.’  Jesus is ‘Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending.’  Jesus is ‘Alpha and Omega, the first and the last.’  Jesus is ‘He that liveth and was dead, and, behold [He is] alive evermore.’  Jesus is ‘He that holdeth the seven stars in His right hand.’  Jesus is ‘Who walketh in the midst of the seven golden candlesticks.’  Jesus is ‘the first and the last, which was dead, and is alive.’  Jesus is ‘He which hath the sharp sword with two edges.’  Jesus is ‘the Son of God, Who hath his eyes like unto a flame of fire, and His feet are like fine brass.’  Jesus is ‘He that hath the seven spirits of God, and the seven stars.’  Jesus is ‘He that is holy, He that is true, He that hath the key of David, He that openeth and no man shutteth; and shutteth, and no man openeth.’  Jesus is ‘the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God.’  Jesus is ‘the lion of the tribe of Juda,’  Jesus is ‘the root of David.’  Jesus is ‘the root and the offspring of David.’  Jesus is ‘the bright and morning star.’  Jesus is ‘faithful and true.’  Jesus is ‘the KING OF KINGS and the LORD OF LORDS.’  Jesus is ‘the Word of God.’”

“How many did you count, Proffery?” asked Tracey.

“I counted twenty-two names for Jesus, some names with more than one title in them,” said Proffery.

“Jesus’s twenty-two titles in the book of Revelation,” said Jenney.

Jenney turned to look now upon her Christian boyfriend.  A communication passed between their eyes.  And Flanders said, “Yes, Jenney.  I think that it is time I tell them.”

Jenney said, “God spoke to Flanders the other day.”

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And Flanders Nickels said,  “The Holy Spirit has promoted me in His service as an archer for God.”

Proffery asked, “What do you think that God would want you to do now with your artillery?”

“I am no longer to contend against demonic beasts,” said Flanders.

Jenney said, “That means no more unicorns and griffins and dragons to slay.”

“What must you go on and slay now in Christ, Flanders?” asked Tracey.

“I must now go and do battle with wizards and with their familiar spirits,” disclosed the great archer.

“You have to slay wizards for now on?” asked Proffery.  “That is one step beyond even dragon-slaying, Flanders.”

“Wizards are the most like the Devil among his demonic followers,” said Tracey.

“God believes that I am ready,” said Flanders.  “And I am ready for wizards now.”  Then he said, “Jenney, you know Deuteronomy 18:10-11.”  She nodded her head.

“How does it go?” asked Tracey.

Flanders and Jenney recited these two verses together to Tracey and Proffery:  “There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth

divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch, Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer.”

“Flanders, even the demons who fly around in the first heaven are hardly more formidable to take on in battle than all of these wizards,” said Tracey.

“At least the wizards take physical form,” said Jenney.  “The demons none of us can see in their  spiritual forms.”

“Flanders, cannot a wizard turn your Brass Arrows into snakes; and your Bronze Bow into a

harp?” asked Proffery.

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“No,” said Flanders.  “God has made my artillery impervious to even wizards’ magic.”

“Like you told me the other day, Flanders,” said Jenney.  “God would not call you to be a wizard slayer without giving you the Holy Spirit power to do it.”

“How about you, Jenney?” asked Flanders.  “How much longer do you think that you will perform your gymnastics?”

“I am twenty years old now,” said Jenney.  “Sixteen to eighteen years old is ideal for a woman gymnast.  I am past my prime now.  And soon my female body will be too old to perform the tricks that I have always been able to do.”

“You won’t quit wearing your leotard.  Will you, Jenney?” asked Flanders.

“No.  No.  I will always wear my gymnastics leotard for now on all the time, Flanders,” reassured the beguiler girl her admirer.

“What do you think that God will have you to do for him somewhere down the road from now?” asked Flanders.

“I was thinking about going into making women’s and girls’ gymnastics leotards, guys,” said Jenney.

“Have you done anything like that before, Jenney?” asked Tracey.

“No.  I have been too busy wearing them,” said Jenney.  “But I am willing to learn for myself.”

“You would be just right for the job, Jenney,” said Flanders.  “What companies go and make such gymnastics leotards?”

“You already know about the big ones that I have talked about throughout my gymnastics career,” said the beguiler girl, “especially GK Elite.  And also Alpha Factor and Snowflake Designs.”

“Any other companies, Jenney?” asked Tracey.

“Yes.  Some smaller ones,” said Jenney.  “Companies like Wear Moi, Capezio, Bloch, Ballet Rosa, Grishko, Lulli Dancewear,  So Danca, Intermezzo.”

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Proffery asked, “Would you like to work in a big company or a small company, Jenney?”

“I would like to work in a small company,” said Jenney.

Flanders said, “You must have been praying about this for a while now, Jenney.”

“Yes.  I have.” she said.  “But first I have to study and learn how to make a gymnastics leotard on my own before I go out and apply for a job and do that for a living,”

“Maybe someday you can be your own worker,” said Flanders.  “You could be so good that you can work from home in your Country House.”

“I never thought about that, Flanders,” said Jenney.  “God never told me that yet in answers to my prayers.”

“Maybe God had me to tell you that,” said Flanders.

“I love that idea a lot, boyfriend,” said the beguiler girl.

“You could run your own shop and make it like a Taffy’s,” he said to charm her heart.

“I love you for telling me that, Flanders,” said the beguiler woman.

“And that way all the gymnastics leotards that you make would be long-sleeved,” said Tracey.  “Just as you and Flanders like so much.”

“By the way, Jenney,” said Proffery.  “Why do women gymnasts sometimes wear long-sleeved leotards?”

“I know why I do,” said Jenney.

“And I know why I am glad she does,” said Flanders.

“Because they feel better on me,” said Jenney.

“Because they look better on her,” said Flanders.

“But why do other women gymnasts in competition wear the long-sleeved leotards?” asked Proffery.

“That I do know,” said the beguiler girl.  “It is because, when performing in a long-sleeved

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gymnastics leotard, the woman gymnast’s arms appear to be longer.  And if her routine has a lot to do with her arms, the long-sleeved leotard would enhance the routine in the eyes of the judges.  And she might get a higher score because of this.”

“Neat!” said Proffery.

“I learned something,” said Tracey.

“I already knew that,” said Flanders.

“Because I told you that before,” said Jenney.

“I like your future, Jenney,” said Flanders.

“Could you get used to your gymnast girlfriend selling gymnastics leotards and not competing in gymnastics leotards?” asked Jenney.

“My girlfriend beguiled me as the professional gymnast, and she can continue beguiling me as a Taffy,” he said to her.

“I love you for saying that!” said Jenney Halsey again.

Then Tracey Title spoke up and said, “I was thinking of leaving women’s boxing and going into

something else for a career.”

“What might become your new job?” asked Flanders.

“What I do,” said Proffery.

Jenney said, “Tracey, you might go into women’s all-star wrestling?”

“Ronda Rousey did,” said Tracey.  “She left women’s ultimate fighting after losing to Holly Holm, and she went into women’s wrestling.  Now she is called ‘the baddest woman on the planet.’”

Proffery said, “My girlfriend wants to be called, ‘the worst woman on the planet.’”

“That sounds kind of not so complimentary,” said Flanders.  “But I like the sound of it, Tracey.”

“Proffery can teach me all he knows about professional wrestling.  I think that I can get pretty good at it.  Maybe I could become the women’s professional wrestling champion of Ring of Honor

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wrestling some day,” said Tracey.

“What would you think about that, Proffery?” asked Jenney.

“I would be proud of my girlfriend with her own wrestling belt around her waist, too,” said Proffery.

“I have seen Ring of Honor women wrestlers,” said Flanders.  “They are big and fat and mean.”

“And you cannot go and punch these women, Tracey.  That is not allowed in wrestling,” said Jenney.

“Proffery will teach me everything I need to know,” said Tracey.

“I will make a champion out of you, girlfriend,” said Proffery.

“It sounds like you want them to make you one of the bad guys,” said Flanders, liking what he was hearing from Tracey.

“Until they change their mind and decide to turn me into one of the good guys,” said Tracey.

“The powers that be do that among their wrestlers,” said Flanders.

“Did not “Hulk Hogan the good guy become Hollywood Hogan the bad guy for a while?” asked Jenney.

“Then he became a good guy again,” said Proffery.

Jenney said, “What kind of name would you like if you became one of the good girls in wrestling, Tracey?”

“Maybe ‘Princess Tracey,’” said Tracey Title.

“’Fairy Princess Tracey,’ maybe,” said Proffery.

“My hunk of a boyfriend, you flatter me,” said Tracey.

“My angel doll, you’re beautiful,” said Proffery.

“Now your turn, Proffery,” said Tracey.  “You have to tell our two friends what you are going to do in your big career change.”

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“Let me guess,” said Flanders facetiously.  “The woman boxer is becoming a woman wrestler.

So I would guess that the man wrestler is becoming a man boxer.”

“Clever, Flanders,” said Jenney in jest.  “Very clever.”

“But absolutely true, Flanders and Jenney,” said Proffery.

“My boyfriend is going into prize fighting,” Tracey told them.

“What I said was true?” asked Flanders.

“We have to eat our words, boyfriend,” said the beguiler lady.  “Proffery, I did not know.”

“Here I thought that I was being funny,” said Flanders.  “And it was real.”

“Tracey can teach me all she knows about boxing,” said Proffery.

“This young gal is going to teach an old man new tricks,” said Tracey.

“I am the older of the two of us,” said Proffery about himself and Tracey.

“Can you throw a hard punch?” asked Jenney.

He flexed his biceps.  “Twenty inches!” bragged Tracey.

“That can throw quite a punch,” said Flanders.

“And my boyfriend can take a punch, too,” said Tracey.

“I believe that,” said Jenney.

“He’s been practicing breaking coconuts with his head,” said Tracey.

“Surely a coconut would hurt worse than a boxing glove,” said Flanders.

“Tracey will teach me all that she knows about defense in the ring of prize fighting as well,” said Proffery.

“Riddick Bowe, Lennox Lewis, and Proffery Coins,” said Flanders, putting his best friend in the league of two other great boxers of this day.

“Larry Holmes, Evander Holyfield, Mike Tyson,” said Jenney in pondering heavyweight champions. “And next Proffery Coins.”

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“Jenney and Flanders, thanks for having invited the both of us to church,” said Tracey.

“Did you have a good time with the church flock and Pastor?” asked Jenney.

“So many other believers there, all under one roof,” said Tracey.  “God is in your church.”

“I had a great time with my new brothers-and-sisters-in-Christ,” said Proffery.  “I want to go again all the time.”

“They all like us—me and Proffery,” said Tracey, “and here we two are only babes in Christ,”

“I want to become a member of So Great Salvation Baptist Temple,” said Proffery.  “And so does Tracey.”

“I do,” said Tracey.

“Did you like the sermon?” asked Flanders.

“My first sermon in any church, and it was forty-five minutes of hellfire and brimstone preaching,” said Proffery.

“I loved it,” said Tracey.

“I did, too,” said Proffery.

“Do either of you have a Bible?” asked Flanders.

Tracey and Proffery looked at each other and shook their heads.  “I need a Bible, Flanders,” said Proffery.

“I need a Bible, too,” said Tracey.

“We’ve got to get you a King James Bible,” said Jenney.

“I want one, and Tracey wants one,” said Proffery.

“That I do,” said Tracey.  “Proffery and I.”

“Pastor has a lot of extra K.J.V.’s in his den in his house to give away,” said Flanders.

“Could we go and visit him sometime and get our own Holy Bible?” asked Tracey.

“Pastor loves visitors to his house,” said Jenney.

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“Let us go there sometime,” said Flanders.

“And get our friends their own Good Book,” said Jenney.

Proffery said, “Tracey and I have discovered a brand new thing in our lives as boyfriend-and-girlfriend that is like nothing we two have ever done together before.  And we just started that right after we got born again.”

“You two call it prayer meeting,” said Tracey.

“Prayer meeting!” exclaimed Flanders.  “Ah!”

“My most fervent prayers are prayer meeting prayers with the other women at church and with Flanders alone on our dates,” said Jenney.

“It is magical!” said Tracey.

“And we have been praying alone with God in our quiet times with him at our homes, too,” said Proffery.  “I had not known what I was missing out on as an unbeliever who could not pray.”

“If you think that that is good, just wait till we all come home to Heaven, and you can talk to Jesus face to face Up There,” said Flanders.

“What would I say to God face to face in Heaven?” queried Tracey.

“The same things you have been saying to Him through the span of Earth to Heaven in your prayers down here,” said Flanders.

“That kind of prayer is better than even my prayer meetings with my girlfriend in my brand new life,” said Proffery.

“It can not get better than that,” praised Tracey Heaven and Christ in Heaven.

“Have you two thought about tithing?” asked Jenney.

“We have, and we agree,” said Tracey.

“Professional boxers and professional wrestlers make a lot of money,” said Proffery.  “Tracey and I think that we can help our new little church some with the expenses.”

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“God will bless you two for your giving,” said Flanders.

Then the beguiler girl began to play with her fingers upon her right sleeve of her patriotic American gymnastics leotard she always wore.  And a doleful expression filled her countenance.

“Another tear, Jenney?” asked Flanders.

“Yes, Flanders.  Another tear,” said Jenney.

“You will have to get out needle and thread and sew it back up and make it good as new again,” said Flanders.

“My mending is running out of remedies now, Flanders.” said the beguiler girl.  “I cannot keep doing that any longer.”

“What are you saying?” asked her boyfriend.

“My Taffy’s gymnastics leotard is old and wearing out and getting old on me,” said Jenney.  “I have been sewing and mending and fixing up tears in this gymnastics leotard for this past year so much that I am running out of leotard to sew back up.”

“It is beginning to look faded,” said Flanders.

“It is old, Flanders.  I have worn it every day for years.  It is no longer comfortable,” said Jenney.

“I never thought that that could happen,” said Flanders.

“My favorite outfit is seeing its last days,” said the beguiler girl.

“What do you think that you will do?” asked Flanders.

“I think I know,” she said.  “And I think that you will not be disappointed.  And I think that now I am ready for it.”

“Tell me,” he said.

“I will retire my gymnastics leotard of gymnastics leotards, and I will from then on start wearing all of my other gymnastics leotards that I have in storage here,” declared the beguiler girl.

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“Why, quite variety indeed!” said Flanders in hearty approval.

“Would you like a different look from your beguiler girl every day for now on until God takes us home in the rapture, Flanders?” asked Jenney Penney Halsey.

“I take so great delight in that, Jenney!” said Flanders in a definitive “Aye!”

“Then that I will do,” declared the beguiler woman.

“One last day with the old one?” he requested.

“One last day with the old one,” she proclaimed.  “Tomorrow you will see the new beguiler gal with a different gymnastics leotard on for every day.”

“Beguiler girl, you beguile me,” said Flanders Arckery Nickels.

“That’s what I am here for,” said the beguiler girl.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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