Flanders and Venus, two unsaved people, are boyfriend-and-girlfriend on a date at the park. They are horsey-back riding in the grass, he in his cutoffs and she in her magenta one-piece swimsuit. She rides his back for a way. Then he rides her back for a way. Seagulls go by, quoting Bible verses. Pelicans go by, denying those Bible verses. What will this couple do about Jesus? What will this couple do with Christ?
Flanders Nickels and his girlfriend Cynthia Marguerite Burgher are going piggyback-riding together down the Fox River Trail. She is a woman in a magenta one-piece swimsuit. Both are Christians. They are expecting an answer from God for their prayers for a new happy job to go to, one that will replace the drudge of a job they have now. God will answer their prayer when they come to the end of the Fox River Trail. Along the way they have to contend against fairies and elves and dwarfs sent by the Devil.
Flanders Nickels, not born again, falls for a picture of a one-piece swimsuit woman in a store ad in the newspaper. He affectionately calls her ‘Venus.’ This same maillot model, herself born again, discovers this man in a college yearbook. Her name is ‘Cynthia Marilyn Berger.’ Neither knows that the other has a crush on him or her. God brings them together so that she can tell him about Jesus the Saviour. Lo, a terrible little urchin named ‘Sylvia.’ a persecutor of Christians, comes and seeks to keep this Flanders from turning to Christ.
Miss Annette Worst, a keeper of three tame coral snake pets, falls upon a crush for Flanders Nickels, the boy at school who will have no girl as girlfriend. Lo, Flanders falls for a crush for her, and, because of that, he now sees himself as a sinner. What if the pretty girl found out? Both are Christians. Can his love for animals bring them together if she shows him her coral snakes?
Flanders the Righteous, known as the Prophet of De Pere, is challenged by Kyrie the Black, known as the Witch of De Pere. She seeks to tempt him to fall into sin and to deny Christ. She makes him go through four tests, all having something to do with ‘traditional prom gowns of the good old days,’ which is his weakness. He calls upon God to help him. She calls upon Satan to help her. Who will win this battle of good vs. evil?
Heidi Phylum Genus and her boyfriend Flanders Nickels go on a date to far-away Botany Bay, the swimdress capital of the world. Heidi is there to buy herself some swimdresses. Flanders is there to look at the swimdress women. Lo, a centaur comes charging upon the beach, grabs a hold of one of the swimdress women on the beach, and carries her away without her will to his centaur den. There is trouble in paradise for Heidi and Flanders. But they find out here that their eternal destiny is hellfire and brimstone as long as they keep saying, “No,” to Jesus, Who wants to become their Saviour. What will they do about Christ?
Milady Marguerite DeMornay is starting out her new life in the country in Pembine, Wisconsin, with her two big dogs. One dog is her longtime friend “Cask,” a St. Bernard. The other dog is her new friend, “Mass,” a Mastiff. Roaming the countryside, Milady discovers four beautiful little sand dunes in the middle of a field of wilderness. Day by day, Bible verses about the King of the Jews she finds written by a stick in each sand dune. Cask is all for these Scripture verses. But Mass is against these Scripture verses. What will Milady do about the King of the Jews? (more…)
Flanders Nickels, a born-again Christian, prays that God give him a pretty girl in a pretty prom gown for a girlfriend. Meanwhile a born-again Christian lady in a prom gown, also a born-again believer, prays that God bring back into her life prayer meeting to enjoy. Her name is Patricia Whiz Bang—the blonde bombshell. They meet, bond in fellowship, and become boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ, and their prayers are answered. Behold, another prom dress girl comes along, comely Kyrie Key Kendricks. And this woman comes between Flanders and Patricia. (more…)