Miss Annette Worst, a keeper of three tame coral snake pets, falls upon a crush for Flanders Nickels, the boy at school who will have no girl as girlfriend. Lo, Flanders falls for a crush for her, and, because of that, he now sees himself as a sinner. What if the pretty girl found out? Both are Christians. Can his love for animals bring them together if she shows him her coral snakes?
FIRST CRUSH
By Mr. Morgan P. McCarthy
Her name was Miss Annette Worst, and she was in her first days of tenth grade here in 1977.
She was a born-again Christian with utmost faithfulness to daily Bible-reading and nightly praying and being at her Baptist church every time the doors were open. And she was a happy mistress to three coral snakes which she kept in her upstairs bedroom with her. Mom and Dad were most reluctant to let their daughter bring in such venomous snakes into the family, but her beloved coral snakes endeared themselves to the family as much as they did to their keeper herself. And Mom said that she could keep them for as long as Dad said that it was okay. And Dad said that she could keep them for as long as Mom said that it was okay. And these poisonous snakes proved themselves completely domesticated, won over by Annette’s affection for them. And they would never bite her. They were tamed by Miss Worst’s love and training and diligence. Being traditional coral snakes, these snakes had alternating black and yellow and red bands running from head to tail. Miss Annette Worst’s favorite shirt for wearing to school she did call, “my coral snake shirt.” It was a shirt with thin
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horizontal stripes of black and yellow and red and gray. The only color difference from her shirt and her snakes were the gray stripes among her shirt that were not among her coral snakes. Annette’s three coral snakes, though identical to anyone else, were diverse to herself. The coral snake whose head had a black stripe, she did give the name “Black Stripe.” The coral snake whose head had a yellow stripe, she did give the name, “Yellow Stripe.” And the coral snake whose head had a red stripe, she did give the name, “Red Stripe.”
Coming back up to her bedroom after another good dinner cooked by Mom, Annette Worst sang out to her serpentine roommates, saying to them, “Time to come out of the glass case, guys.” And she took off the glass lid to the glass repository. “Come on out, and let’s have some fun,” sang out their mistress. Right away the three coral snakes slithered up and out of their container and made themselves at home in Annette’s bedroom. She saw her Red Stripe slither toward her open bedroom door. “No, Red Stripe,” she admonished him. “You’ve got to stay inside our room. Remember?”
Red Stripe heard, understood, and obeyed, slithering back now away from the bedroom door and settling back upon the braided elliptic rug in the middle of the room that was just for the snakes. Then Miss Worst saw her Black Stripe slither up along her bed and out upon the mattress, and settle comfortably upon her pillow. “No, Black Stripe. You are not allowed on my bed. Do get down here where snakes belong,” rebuked his mistress. And Black Stripe obeyed her and slithered down off of her bed and slithered up to the braided elliptic rug to join his other fellow coral snake. Then Annette could see her Yellow Stripe slither up to the little rug to be with his two other coral snakes. And with his snake teeth he began to bite into this rug and tear off little pieces of it. “Bad boy,” said Annette.
“You must not tear up your rug. You know better than that.” And Yellow Snake, knowing that he had done wrong, quit his mischief, laid his head upon the rug, and looked up at his mistress in apology. “That’s better,” said Miss Worst. “If you guys are good for the rest of the day, I will give you mice for dinner.” Her coral snakes loved mice. [And with this promise, Red Stripe and Black Stripe and Yellow
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Stripe followed the rules for the rest of the day. And when nighttime came along, they got nice mice that she had bought for them at the pet food store.] In the meanwhile, the coral snake mistress joined her coral snakes, herself sitting down in the middle of the rug among them. And her beloved snakes all curled up on her lap, and she petted them, and all four were glad.
After a while, Annette jumped up in eagerness and said, “Guys, it’s time for me to look at the yearbook. If you’ll excuse me for a while.” And she picked up her Freshman yearbook from last year, sat up on her bed, and began to look through it. The three coral snakes remained obediently upon their rug. And they all looked at her. “You know me, guys,” she said to them. “A girl needs to look at boys.” And the sophomore girl looked at yearbook pictures of her high school’s boys. She took in all manner of handsome classmates among the freshmen and sophomores and juniors and seniors of last year with her eyes. Then she saw herself as a freshmen, “Good snakes,” she said to her coral snakes, “right here was a fifteen-year-old geek. Wouldn’t you say?” She showed this ninth grade picture of herself to them. They did not seem to agree with her. They were bringing their tongues in and out of their mouths in disagreement. Pondering this reaction from them, Annette said, “Well, maybe I was pretty then, after all. Thank you, guys.” Then she asked, “Am I still pretty, now, one year later?” And the coral snakes bobbed their heads back and forth in agreement. “Oh good,” she said. “Maybe the boys will start to see me as a pretty girl, too, pretty soon at school.” She went on to say, “All of the boys look cute in high school—both at the school itself and especially in this yearbook. I just wish that I could find one boy who is the cutest of the cute boys. I want a boy so handsome that I would ask him out.” She then happened to see a cute boy in her last year’s freshmen class whom she remembered with ambivalence. “Flanders Nickels,” she said. He was the boy whose heart no girl could conquer. She at first waxed in antipathy. He was so holy that he chose to reject all girls of their school. He made other girls cry who asked him out. He was rude and brusk and cruel, maybe afraid of girls. But one thing was for sure, he would never tempt a girl to do wrong. He was a born-again Christian whose
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first love was Jesus Christ. Like her, he loved to read his Bible. Like her, he loved to pray. Like her, he loved to go to the Baptist church. Like her, he lived a righteous life in Christ. And she began to think differently about this Flanders Nickels now. “This Flanders that everybody at school hates, he’s not a bad looker at that,” she said to her coral snakes. “What do you think?” She leaned over from sitting upon her bed and showed his freshman picture at them. They hissed in a mutual consensus of animosity. “You think so?” she asked. They hissed again. “Well, for some reason, I am beginning to see him as a hunk.” She turned back to her yearbook, looked upon his ninth grade picture, gazed upon his overbite, his uncombed hair, his thin build, his short stature. “Maybe God can turn him into a prince, and I can find my first boyfriend in high school in him,” said Annette Worst. “He is becoming this cutest boy at high school to me. I wonder what he looks like now as new sophomore like myself?”
And in making a big decision in life, she said to her three serpentine friends, “I am going to ask him out for a date. The worst he can do is say, ‘No,’ and I feel bad. The best he can do is say, ‘Yes,’ and I find my first boyfriend.”
Flanders Nickels was alone in his bedroom with his crosspatch puzzle books on his desk.
“Crosspatches” were sometimes called “Crisscrosses.” They were pencil puzzles in which the puzzle solver was supposed to fill in a grid of empty boxes and lines of boxes with the words from its list. To do this, one had to take into thought not only the length of the word, but also the placement of the letters in the word. And while doing this, one had to logically seek not to have one word in the wrong place that would contradict with another word in its place. Crosspatch grids looked like crossword grids, but without black spaces and without clues. Lots of planning and figuring of letter placement was basic to these kinds of puzzles. And a mistake could mess up all. And right now, it looked to Flanders that he had made a big mistake in this crosspatch puzzle of the day. The theme of this list was “Breakfast.” And there was one word left in the list that he had not yet crossed out—the word “Toast.”
And he could find no place to put it. The final open spaces of this grid was a column of four boxes.
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“Toast” was a word with five letters. It was impossible to put “toast” into these four boxes. He had made a mistake somewhere, and he could not tell where it was. He studied and studied, but found no solution. Knowing better than to become frustrated, Flanders submitted to defeat, and he looked up the solution in the back of this puzzle book. He looked at it for a while. Behold, in the answer section, the vertical word “Toast” going down five letters in its column. Mystified, he looked back at his crosspatch grid that he failed at. Behold, this same place in the puzzle section, this same column had four squares. “My, O my,” he said. The puzzle book had made a mistake. It had omitted that fifth square in the puzzle section, but it had included the fifth square in the answer section. In great mirth, Flanders Nickels laughed out loud heartily and said, “It’s hard to find good puzzle makers these days,”
And God laughed with him. And happy was this Christian after his little trial of crosspatch puzzle.
Besides crosspatch puzzle books, Flanders Nickels also worked word search puzzle books and maze books. As for his dad, he worked logic puzzles. Mom like Sunday newspaper crossword puzzles. His big sister liked Jumble puzzles. His big brother liked cryptogram puzzles. His little brother liked wishing well puzzles. And his little sister like rebus puzzles.
At his desk now, after having worked a hard puzzle, Flanders Nickels then went on to his more important life of worship. He opened up his Bible to Proverbs chapter five, verses one to thirteen, and he did read this passage out loud in clear conviction of his feelings in his heart toward high school girls. This was what he read: “My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding: That thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge. For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil: But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell. Lest thou shouldest ponder the path of life, her ways are moveable, that thou canst not know them. Hear me now therefore, O ye children, and depart not from the words of my mouth. Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house: Lest thou give thine honour unto others, and thy years unto
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the cruel: Lest strangers be filled with thy wealth; and thy labours be in the house of a stranger; And thou mourn at the last, when thy flesh and thy body are consumed, And say, How have I hated instruction, and my heart despised reproof; And have not obeyed the voice of my teachers, nor inclined mine ear to them that instructed me!” Tragically here he misinterpreted God’s Word to his undoing.
Here, here was his charge against girls. Here, here was his condemnation against any who might become a girlfriend. Here, here was his Bible verse telling him, “Thou shalt not date.” And he lived this lifestyle of complete rejection of girls in his actions and in his thoughts and in his words. Truly such that would be called, “flirting” he did regard as “corruption.” And Flanders Nickels was sincere in what he believed. And he fought a fierce man’s battle inside his heart and mind with the simplicity of a child, but with the strength of an adult. His pride caused him to give forth a facade, wherein he sought to tell others, “I don’t like girls.” And his shame caused him to hide behind his facade that told others, “I am asexual.” He hated the word “sexy.” And he was mortified upon seeing fellow high school students making out in school. Romance disturbed Flanders. And puppy love was iniquity not to be talked about to him. Above all, no girl must ever think about asking him out. And he could himself never wish to stoop so low as to ask a girl out himself. He had a battle to fight in his life upon coming of age, and he must not lose that battle! How could one like him lose his life’s battle? By finding a girlfriend! How must he win his life’s battle? By living a life with never any girlfriend. His whole testimony must be of consummate abstinence from the opposite sex—in his intentional thoughts, in his unintentional thoughts, in what he looked at, in what he did not try to look at, in his spoken words, in his written words, in his actions, in his desires.
Where had this war in his head first begun? It all started when he discovered Lindsay Wagner, TV’s Bionic Woman Jaime Somers, in his English class magazine not too long ago. He saw her picture in this magazine, and he discovered his first crush. And he did not like himself at all for liking this woman as a woman. He thought that is was wrong to like women in that way. After all, he had never
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felt this way about girls before, when he was a kid. Why should he feel this “mush” now that he was a young man? He must put this “corruption” out of his mind. And he must do so, even if he had to declare war against himself in his private life. And thoughts about girls began to stir up a type of schizophrenia in his mind. And thoughts about women’s forms and thoughts about women’s faces began to come upon him psychologically and mentally in his new and disturbed life, and they tormented him all his days at school and not at school.
Flanders Nickels did have a great and effectual compensation to his valley. And that was Christ his Saviour. Because he was born again, he regularly found comfort in his prayer life and in his Bible life and in his church life. He came to Jesus in prayer. crying out against this “corruption” that disturbed him, and God encouraged him in the Lord. He came to his Bible with a troubled spirit, and God exhorted him to not give up. And he came to church, and the fellowship alleviated his terrible shyness of girls some.
His life’s proverb since having come of age? “Liking girls is immoral.”
And all the school had this to say among their students, “No girl can conquer the heart of Flanders.”
And all the teachers said about Flanders, “He’s too much into Jesus to want a girlfriend.”
And this was the boy whom Annette Worst wanted to ask out for a date.
And she secretly knew something about Flanders that no one else knew about. And that was that the only thing that disturbed him more so than bad words and dirty talk was cruelty to animals.
Last year, before his coming of age had turned him shy to girls, he told her about the dogs that were in need of rescue from cruel and negligent owners that he saw on commercials. He spoke of dogs as if he had one of his own. He seemed to put dogs on a higher level than he did people. And he seemed to suffer more upon dogs hurting than upon people hurting. And he spoke of the grandness of dogs. And he told her a secret—that he loved all animals almost as much as he loved God his Heavenly Father.
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But how did Flanders feel about snakes? Did he love coral snakes? Would he like to come over and see Black Stripe and Yellow Stripe and Red Stripe? What would he say now?
It was Geometry class. Here in the seating arrangement, the teacher just happened to have Annette’s table right next to Flanders’s table. Flanders was fighting in his head with thoughts about Lindsay Wagner. Lindsay’s pretty face was distracting him from the teacher’s teaching. The teacher then said, “Annette, please keep your eyes off of the boys.”
Flanders turned to Annette to his side, and she saw him, and she turned red. And Annette and the whole class laughed in merriment. Flanders wondered who the boy was that she was making eyes at. And he prayed in entreaty that it were not him. It was him.
Then Geometry class was done. And Annette popped the big question to him most tangentially and a bit too subtly. She asked him, “Flanders, do you like coral snakes?”
And he said to her, “I do. I think I do. I like all snakes.”
From there she dared go no further. This was a good start. This was enough for now. She did not want to get Flanders upset.
And then they left for their next class for the day. Annette began to pray about cute Flanders in her thoughts. Flanders fell upon thoughts of prayer about these mysterious coral snakes that Annette had asked him about.
About a week later, in Geometry class with him again right next to her, Miss Worst attempted to get acquainted with Flanders a second time. It was the first hour class. And class had not yet begun.
And she asked him this time, “Flanders, do you really like coral snakes?”
And he said, “I do. Coral snakes are creations of our all-wise Designer.”
“Did you ever get to see one before?” she asked him.
“Uh huh,” he said, “in animal books.”
“As in picture books?” she asked.
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“Yeah,” he said. “In Mom’s field guides.”
“What do you like about them?” she asked. He was being most civil, letting himself talk to a girl.
“I like their colorful stripes,” he said. “Blacks and yellows and reds everywhere from head to tail.”
“I like coral snakes, too,” she said.
“How do you know about them?” he asked.
Just then class began. And her big question had to wait to another time. She would ask him over some other time for sure.
Another week later in Geometry class, she pursued him a third time. He seemed not at all put out that a real girl were talking to him so much. Was it because he felt no threat of a date with a girl whom he knew not to have a crush on him? Was it because he had not recognized her flirting? Was it because he and she kind of had taste for coral snakes in common? Was it because he and she were both born-again believers in Christ? Everybody in school saw Flanders Nickels as the “boy who loved Christ.” And likewise the whole school knew that Annette Worst loved Jesus just as much.
Before class started, Annette asked him, “Do you like to look at coral snakes, Flanders?”
“I believe that they are my first-in-command of snakes for me now, Annette,” he replied.
Whoa! What a nice thing to say to a coral snake mistress.
“Have you seen any real coral snakes in your life?” she asked.
“Yeah. At the zoo,” he said.
“What did you think?” she asked him.
“I thought upon their Maker,” he said. “And when I left the zoo, I kind of wanted to come back to the zoo someday just to see them again.”
“Do you want to see real coral snakes again, then, Flanders?” Annette Worst asked him.
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Just then Geometry class began. And she still had not asked him for a date at her place. He was quite open and talkative to her. That was not the Flanders that she knew. This was not the Flanders that the school knew. He knew that she were a born-again believer like himself. They must share the bond of the Holy Spirit, being saved the both of them. But was it something else? They both definitely shared a fascination for God’s coral snakes—his a fancy for them; hers a love for them.
She then made plans for what she would wear at school for the next day. Her top would definitely be the shirt that symbolized her coral snake pets. And she would wear simple blue jeans with this “coral snake shirt.” And the day came, and her fourth attempt at asking him out arose. She was attired as planned. And she asked him, “Flanders, I know where you can see some real coral snakes without having to go so far away back to the zoo.”
“You do, Annette?” he asked.
He had never called her with her first name before.
“Yeah. I do, Flanders,” she said.
“Where?” he asked.
Just then the teacher began class for the morning. And the coral snake mistress still did not get around to asking him out.
But there were times where Annette thought that maybe Flanders was making eyes at her. Then the teacher said in front of the class, “I will have no boys looking at the girls.”
Flanders was focused on the teacher just before the teacher said this. So the teacher could not mean him. But Annette believed that he did mean him. And she was flattered.
But after class ended, Flanders Nickels, the solid brick wall, said something that could have been a real flirt if she took it that way. Flanders told her, “Your colorful shirt looks like coral snakes.” Right after having said this, he ran off to his next class.
He was so right. This was why this was her favorite outfit from her closet. And Flanders saw
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in her favorite shirt the same thing that she always had. Still she had not asked him out. Her fifth such attempt must be soon. She had to tell him about Red Stripe and Black Stripe and Yellow Stripe.
The next day, before Geometry class started, Annette was planning on asking him out. The first thing he asked her was, “So, Annette, where are these coral snakes that I can go and see?”
And she said, “Right at my home, Flanders..”
“Real coral snakes?” he asked.
“Uh huh,” she said with a nod of her head.
“Neat!” he said in sincerity.
“My three special pets whom I love,” she said to him.
“Three coral snake pets,” he said in admiration.
“Would you like to come over and see them?” she asked. There. She finally got to ask the big question to this handsome boy at school. She had finally asked out Flanders Nickels the Christian who practiced unerring separation from girls. Now was the moment of truth. What would he say?
He turned white in his face with shock. And he asked, “Are you looking for a date with me, Miss?” He did not address her by her name this time.
“Well. Kind of,” she said, feeling like she had said a bad thing.
“Make it kind of not,” he said, stammering in great perplexity.
There was something truly not right about him even though he was a born-again Christian like herself.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
Annette knew. Flanders Nickels was not ready to have his first girlfriend. But she would try again. When? Maybe sooner than later. Right now would be good. And she leaned over toward Flanders in boldness, and not without revenge, and she said to him, “Pretty girls are prettier than coral snakes, Flanders.” He looked upon her with incomprehension. And she gave forth a sassy grin. Then
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class began.
And in the school bus ride home, Flanders was secretly thinking about Annette Worst and what she said to him. That comment had to have been a flirt. And he felt dirty and sick from having had a part of such a thing. He had not asked for that, nor had he wished it to have happened. And, behold, a new girl to trouble his nerves who was even more disturbing than the TV actor Lindsay Wagner, who had started all of these problems in his head. And this time the girl was a real girl who really liked him—not just a girl on TV for an hour one time a week. And not only that, but this real girl, Annette Worst, seemed to be even prettier than Lindsay. And she had a good form, too. And again, just like with other girls, this girl in Geometry class gave him pleasant feelings mentally and gave him unpleasant thoughts psychologically. And this girl he might not be so able to get rid of. When he went to bed, all he could think of was her fetching shirt of coral snake colors. He tried to forget that garment, but it kept him awake in bed. He finally had to say to God in confession, “That shirt is…sexy.” This was the first time that he had ever said a bad word. And he said it to God. Worried about his life now, he finally fell asleep for the night, now more afraid of this Annette than of any other girl before.
He got up for school the next morning, remembered the Geometry class girl, and began trembling in his wrists and his hands. He paused to sit on his bed and pray to God to calm his nerves.
And God gave him strength to go to school. Both of them back in the Geometry classroom, she exuded kindness and affection in her face to him. And he gave forth a look of reluctance and tolerance to her. It was best that she not know that he was scared of her. And she thought it best not to strike up a conversation with him right now. He looked troubled today as if she had said something wrong yesterday. If she were to apologize, she might betray her crush for him and make him want to run away from her. If she were to ask him what was wrong today, he might tell her something that he would regret having said later. If she were to try another flirt, who knew what he might do? He seemed right
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now to be a loose cannon. But he was so handsome. And after class let out, she turned to him, and she said, “We have bowling class together next week in Phy. Ed. I’ll see you there, Flanders.”
And he hung his head down and said, “I didn’t know that.”
Now Phy. Ed. at this high school consisted of six consecutive different classes throughout the school year, which a student signed up for at the beginning of the school year. For Flanders this was third hour. But upon hearing what Annette told him, he now knew that her Phy. Ed. class was also third hour. The first of these six Phy. Ed. classes for this school would end this week. Next week the second of these six Phy. Ed. classes would start. For Flanders, this was bowling. And bowling was a coed Phy. Ed. class. That meant that the girls were going to be with the boys in the same class. Woe unto him! Another class with Annette on his schedule. This was indeed random chance. And Flanders had a new thing to fear–another class with this extra pretty girl for a while. And he prayed for the mercy of God in a silent supplication.
Weary with temptations and with psyche thoughts in his head, he came home from school and found rest, lying upon his bed and praying to God. And he said to God, “This Annette, O Lord. I don’t know what to make of her. What do You think?” Surely she had to be the prettiest girl for him in all of the high school. She was a Christian, too. And yet she acted like a girlfriend would act toward him. She was something so magical and so carnal both at once. She struck him as a bad girl. And yet she did nothing with him that would dishonor their Saviour. She really liked him, and yet she did not mind making him know that she liked him. How could he like any girl back? Should he like her back?
He had never done anything such as that before. As for himself, he discovered girls just a few months ago in the Bionic Woman. How he secretly watched TV’s Jaime Somers use her bionic ears and bionic limbs for the cause of America through many episodes. And he made sure that no one see him as he admired her. No one must see his face when he was looking at pretty girls. He must not show emotion.
It was shameful. Now he was starting to think about sneaking glances at his Geometry class girl
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admirer, and to dare do so at school where others might see. Why, he could give himself away! Then where would he be? What would he say? What would he think? What would he do? Worst of all, what if this Annette Worst knew? And what would she look like as a bowler in his upcoming bowling class?
Unsure and unsteady, he found bowling class to be a veritable revelation for him in regard to the girl Annette Worst. Why this special and dubious young lady was dressed as a cheerleader! He never knew that his secret crush were a cheerleader! Her skirt and her vest and her knee socks and her shoes and even the ribbons in her hair shone in Red Raider red and white. Her cheerleader skirt with its short box pleats of alternating red and white stirred him up into a fever and made him to forget even her tempting coral snake shirt. He had now discovered cheerleaders, a most especial category of girl whom he regarded as too exciting to supposed to look at. If he had been shy with Annette in Geometry class, now he was smitten by Annette in bowling class heart and soul and spirit. And she as the cheerleader was bowling in the very next lane to his and toward the right. He was so timid now that he was bewildered with infatuation for the girl. He dared not even try a first sneak peak that he had been planning to try out in Geometry class. All he knew was that a real pretty cheerleader was bowling in the very next lane. He did not dare look. She was too much for him as a cheerleader. But she was not shy with him. Confident in her cheerleader uniform, she said to him, “Flanders, did you know that I made the cheerleader squad?”
“I had no idea that you were a cheerleader,” he said, turning his head toward her but not focusing upon her person or face.
“I made the Junior Varsity football team cheerleader squad,” she said.
Even without really looking right at her, he saw that her vest matched her skirt most pleasingly in its patterns of red and white.
He gathered his courage, and he said, “You weren’t wearing your cheerleader uniform in
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Geometry class today.”
“I forgot to put it on until after Geometry class today,” she said.
“I know that on days of a big football game that the football cheerleaders all come to school dressed in their football cheerleader uniforms,” he said in brave new words to a real cheerleader for his first time.
“Uh huh, Flanders,” she said. “Mom brought this to school for me today, and I quick put it on.”
“Now you are wearing it,” he said.
“Do you like it?” she asked.
He was about to say, “No.” in decorum. But instead he said, “Yes,” in truth.
“I bet you never saw a cheerleader bowl before, Flanders,” she said.
He still did not turn to see her directly. But he was definitely getting into his conversation with the cheerleader. And he said, “I did not know that cheerleaders go bowling.”
“They do if they take bowling class in Phy. Ed.,” she said.
He laughed, relaxed with a girl for now. She laughed, too, liking him all the more now. And he turned his eyes now completely upon Annette Worst for his first time. And he saw her walk up the lane, swing her arm back, and swing her arm forward. Her bright pleats did move about her hips in a magic that overcame him in this moment. He grew a little dizzy. He felt a little giddy. Then he shook himself out of the spell of the beautiful cheerleader, and he asked her, “Was that a strike, Annette?”
And she looked at him, smiled, and said to him in tease, “The bowling ball cannot tell a lie, Flanders.”
He could only say to her a clever ambiguity, “I was thinking about other things.”
And she said, “That was a gutter ball.”
And she looked off at the end of the lane. He looked out there, too. Sure enough, all ten pins remained there, standing up. If he had looked, he would have known that she had not thrown a strike.
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Woe! Had he been caught looking at a girl? She said no more. And he thought to be more careful next time. But what a woman! Did he dare confess to God of this whirlwind puppy love?
The next day at lunch Annette was kind enough to sit next to him in the cafeteria. She had her yearbook from last year with her. And she said, “I’ve got your picture here in this yearbook, Flanders. I look at it lots now. Would you like to see it?”
“You’ve been looking at my picture,” he said, flattered and taken aback.
“Uh huh,” said Miss Worst. And she found it and showed it to him,
“Ninth grade geek,” he said about himself.
She remembered how she had called herself a “geek” when she was looking at her ninth grade yearbook picture with the coral snakes not too many weeks ago in her bedroom. “I’m the geek, Flanders,” she said. “You’re the guy!”
“You’re the gal!” he said in encouragement.
“I know what you want now, Flanders.” she said. “You wish to see my freshman picture.”
“Just in case the freshman is as worthy as the sophomore,” he teased her.
“You mean ‘as pretty.’” she teased him back.
Whoops! He was talking borderline flirt. And now she was talking overt flirt. What was he getting himself into?
She showed him her picture, and he saw that familiar face much the same and still the prettiest girl in high school. And her shirt was eye-catching, too. It was a white shirt with narrow black horizontal stripes. It had a V-Neck. It was sleeveless. That is, its sleeves stopped at her shoulders and went just beyond. And these same narrow horizontal black stripes ran across the white that lay upon her shoulders. Cute top. Cute face. Cute hair. “Annette, you have on the same shirt then that you have on today,” he told her.
“I do?” she asked, looking into the yearbook. He nodded in a silent “Yeah.”
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“Yikes!” she said with woman’s pride.
“Neat!” he said in man’s approval.
“You like this shirt then, Flanders?” asked Annette.
“Yep!” he said.
“Well, then I like it too,” she said. And she ran her hand down across her belly down there in this “neat shirt,” as he called it.
They then began to talk about God. She told him how she hated it when her fellow classmates got too involved in their romances and lost their innocence. She told him how bad she felt for her fellow classmates who were living their lives without Christ and were ruining their lost lives with their bad decisions. She told him how she prayed for her fellow classmates that they seek Christ so that they did not have to go to Hell when they died.
In this first such fellowship in the Lord, Flanders opened up to a pretty girl for his first time. He once again told her things that he had told her before he discovered women. He told her how he was greatly disturbed and shocked when he heard people say curse words. He told her how it was like a great stone falling upon him when he heard a dirty joke and could not get away from it in time. Dirty jokes were even worse that swear words for him to hear. And he told her how distraught he got when he found out about an animal that was treated cruelly by its master or mistress. Cruelty to animals was even more horrific that dirty jokes to him. Nothing was worse for him than seeing an animal suffer. He gave regular donations to the Humane Society of the United States and to the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals and to the World Wildlife Federation.
“Ah,” said Annette sweetly, “the H.S.U.S. and the A.S.P.C.A. and the W.W.F.”
“Tithing comes first; donations to the animal charities come second; myself comes last,” said the Christian man.
“Do you have an animal of your own to love, Flanders?” she asked.
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“With my tithes and with my charity donations, I do not have enough money left over to adopt a pet, Annette,” he said.
“That’s sad,” she said. “But very Christian.”
“You’ve got some pets, though, Annette,” he said.
“I do. I do,” she said. “Three wonderful and handsome coral snakes.”
“Could I go to your place and see them with you someday, Annette?” he asked.
“Why, Flanders, is this asking me out for a date?” she asked.
He sighed, looked up to Heaven, looked back at her, and said, “I do believe so. It is done. And I am not turning back.”
Here the guy whom no girl ask out for a date was asking her out for a date! To make sure he knew what he was asking for, she asked him, “Are you saying that you want to become my boyfriend, Flanders?”
More strong in his desires, he, without a sigh, kept his eyes upon her eyes, and he asked, “Would you become my girlfriend, Annette?”
Before she could answer, the school bully came up to them in this cafeteria, and he sang that undignified children’s romance poem in derision of Flanders and Annette:
“Flanders and Annette, sitting in a tree,
K-i-s-s-i-n-g.
First comes love. Then comes marriage.
Then comes Flanders pushing a baby carriage.”
Flanders was never so embarrassed in his whole life. Even Miss Worst was upset. Flanders was so ashamed that he got up and dared the bully to sing that again. So intensely enraged was Flanders, that he ended up intimidating the school bully. And the bully fled for his own good. Seeing in Flanders her knight in shining armor rescuing his damsel in distress, Annette said to him, “My hero in Christ.”
And she thought to hug him.
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Nay, he would suddenly have nothing to do with her. He pushed her away. He turned his back to her. He walked away. He said to her, “I don’t know you.” And so quickly Annette Worst lost Flanders Nickels out of her life. And Flanders was mortified unto utter humiliation at how he almost had his first girlfriend. And he felt like a prodigal son now in his walk with Christ. Surely he had taken his eyes off of Jesus and backslidden, himself having asked out a girl for his first time. And the girl became his worst enemy in high school. His fellowship with Christ must surely suffer now for his falling into sin as he had. And now he was no more worthy to worship his Heavenly Father. He should never pray again. He should never read his Bible again. He should never go to church again. His whole life was ruined because of a girl. He was truly Samson. And Annette was truly Delilah. And he had fallen in his walk with Christ. What would God have any more to do with a boy who had dabbled with romance just now? He was now dirty, unclean, impure. And he prayed one last time to God, “I will never speak to the girl again.”
And right away the whole school found out about “the fall of Flanders.”
And right away the school found out about how Flanders scared the school bully into running away from a fight.
And right away the whole school felt sympathy for Annette Worst.
And Annette Worst came home from school that day and had a private prayer all evening with her Heavenly Father, asking Him what He would have her to do now.
And Flanders Nickels came home from school only to go to bed because he needed to escape the realities of his life and sleeping would take away his awake times dwelling upon things.
The next day was Saturday. There was no school on Saturday and Sunday. Flanders felt relieved having two days off from school ahead of him now.
And Flanders took his crosspatch puzzle book and went outside into Mom and Dad’s countryside yard and beguiled his mind with puzzles to forget what happened. And he forgot his
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woes during this happy interim of puzzles. And when he was done, he felt comforted. He found some hopes of finding worship back in his life now that he had forgotten his life’s problems for a while. Perhaps he could read his Bible. Perhaps he would go to church tomorrow. Perhaps he should pray. Yes. He needed to pray. And with some confidence in fellowship with his Heavenly Father, he went out to the far back end of this rural yard to try to maybe pray. He was in that patch of many little box elder trees, each not much more than five feet tall, and each with many green leaves, and together forming a most secluded place to get alone with God. And Flanders sat down among the young box elder trees and prayed in silence, “Well, God. I really did it this time. What should I do with my life now?”
Just then the chattering of the red-winged blackbirds began to call forth in their rustic clamor.
Flanders laughed and said to God out loud in mirth, “Lord, those birds are so possessive of their territories that they make a fuss when a person trespasses into their land. I remember riding my bicycle on County Trunk U going south and minding my own business, and one red-winged blackbird flew down and tried to grab my bucket hat off of my head when I was riding. They squawk and dive down and make trouble until the person is out of their territory. Would You make these red-winged blackbirds quiet down a little so that I can pray in peace?” He laughed merrily with God, and God did share his laugh. And all grew quiet. “Thank You, Lord,” he said at peace with God. Then he saw one red-winged blackbird come down from the sky and light upon an upper branch of one of these little box elders and then turn to look right at him. It gave forth a single tone of chatter. It sounded like a rebuke right at him. He wondered what the bird said. He paused to gaze upon this wondrous work of creation. He admired its black throughout, its single red stripe, and its single yellow stripe. What a pretty work of God was this red-winged blackbird in its colors of black and red and yellow. And Flanders praised the Maker. This lone speaking red-winged blackbird then gave forth another single note of rebuke and cocked his bead to the side at him. It was like God was speaking to him through the chatter of this wild
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bird of Wisconsin’s countrysides. Then Flanders remembered another pretty work wrought of God that was also black and red and yellow. That was no doubt Annette’s three pet coral snakes. “I remember her,” he said pensively in prayer out loud. “I’ll miss her.” Right then this red-winged blackbird suddenly flew in upon him and began to beat his head with his little wings. Flanders quickly jumped to his feet and began to swing his arms about his head where he stood, until finally the messenger from God left him alone and flew off.
“Flanders, is that you out here?” asked a familiar feminine voice.
There stood Annette Worst, her real self, upon a bicycle on the side of County Trunk U.
“Annette?” he asked, confused and somewhat dumbfounded.
“I did not see you there, and all of a sudden there you were,” she said.
“A blooming red-winged blackbird made me to stand up,” he said, finding tolerant words to say to the young woman. Had the red-winged blackbird not attacked Flanders, he would still have been sitting among the trees and hidden from view by passersby on this county highway.
“I was on my way to Howard for a custard ice cream cone at Burger Barn,” she said. “Is this where you live, in the middle of nowhere?”
“My house—Mom and Dad’s house I mean—is way up front on Kunesh West Drive,” he said.
Kunesh West Drive was the northern border of this rural yard; County Trunk U was the eastern border of this yard; and a neighbor-farmer’s fields were the western and southern borders of this yard.
“What were you doing in the trees?” she asked.
“I was praying,” he said.
“I prayed all last evening,” she said.
“I am sorry for denying you in the cafeteria yesterday,” he said.
“Why would you do such a thing like that to a girl who likes you?” she cried out.
“Maybe I’m not ready for a girlfriend in my life yet,” he said. But as soon as he said that to this
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girl, he felt that this time it were no longer true.
“There is something not quite grown up yet in the boy I have a crush on in high school,” said Miss Worst.
“All my life I never looked at any girl or woman and had any interest in them for any nonspiritual reasons,” he began the story of his life of coming to age. “But as soon as I began tenth grade, I began to see girls and women as more than just other people. I was fortunate enough to become a born-again believer at age five. And I fell in love with worship of God right away. For ten years the Lord God had me all to Himself. I prayed to Him. I read the Holy Bible. I went to church.
I did this all without a girlfriend. And now here I am, almost sixteen years old, and all I can think about is you. I fear that I might have to share God with you in my days in high school. How can I go and do that to my Saviour?”
“Flanders, do you like me?” she asked.
“I do like you,” he said. “You are my first crush.” She was his first crush for a real girl.
“And I like you,” she said.
“Am I your first crush?” he asked.
“You are, Flanders,” she said.
“I feel a kind of happiness talking to you that is a different happiness than talking to God,” he said.
“Flanders, Flanders, very great is your love to God,” said Annette Worst in all due kudos.
“Even greater is God’s love to me,” he said in humbleness.
“I used to think that I was this girl who excelled any other girl in her faithfulness to Christ,” she began. “But you’ve got me all beat, Flanders. You are so faithful to Christ that you are willing to live a lonely life without women for the rest of your life.”
“Do you think that I might be wrong?” he asked.
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“Even we girlfriends or wannabe girlfriends never died for your sins as the Lord Jesus had,” she said.
“Do you think that it is wrong for someone like me to have a girlfriend and to have Christ both at once in my one life?” he asked.
“Do you want to know what I read in the Bible about that kind of thing?” she asked.
“You know your Bible better even than most adults in most churches do,” he said to her.
“Well, Flanders. I read in the Scriptures lots about the patriarchs of the nation of Israel,” she began. “You know the patriarchs.”
“Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, Zebulun, Dan, Joseph, Benjamin, Naphtali, Gad, Asher,” he listed the sons of Jacob. “The forefathers of the nation of Israel.”
“No. No. The ones before them,” she said. Even greater was his Bible wisdom than her own.
“Oh,” he said. “Yes.” And he said, “Abraham and Isaac and Jacob.”
“Did not Abraham and Isaac and Jacob have wives?” she asked.
“That they did, Annette,” he said.
“Abraham married Sarah. Isaac married Rebekah. Jacob married Rachel,” said Miss Worst.
“These three were great men of God,” he said. “And their wives were great women of God.”
“Did God disapprove of these great men for having a wife in their lives in their love for God?” asked Annette.
“Surely not Abraham and Isaac and Jacob.” said Flanders. “God wanted them to marry.”
“Then would our same God today, thousands of years later, disapprove of you for having a girlfriend in your life in your love for God?” she asked him.
“Why…no. He would not. I would say,” said Flanders Nickels.
“Maybe God wants you to date,” she said.
“I can have a girlfriend then, after all,” he said. “Is that what you’re saying, Annette?”
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“I think so, Flanders,” said Annette.
“What good sense in the Lord you have that I do not have, O Annette,” he said.
“So, what will it be? Will you become my first boyfriend? Can I become your first girlfriend?” she asked.
“Who better to be Flanders Nickels’s girlfriend than the only girl in school who can conquer his heart?” he said.
“It is I,” she sang out.
“My girlfriend Miss Annette Worst,” he said out loud sweetly.
“Would you ride with me to Burger Barn and share a chocolate custard ice cream cone or two with me, Flanders?” she asked.
“I shall not keep my woman waiting,” he said. And they went back to his parents’ red storage shed, and he took out his five-speed bicycle; and they rode the several miles down County Trunk U to the village of Howard, where they had their first date at a restaurant.
Indeed, dating and flirting and girlfriends were not “corruption,” as he called it, after all.
But there was in school a bully scorned. And he was rough and tough. And Flanders was short and skinny.
Flanders and Annette were on their official rendezvous together. They met at the park—he and she and her three coral snakes. He asked just to make sure, “They won’t bite. Will they, Annette?”
“I told them today that I was going to introduce my new boyfriend to them and told them not to harm you. You will be all right, Flanders,” she said.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“As sure as I am their mistress,” said Annette Worst.
“Then I am sure, too,” said Flanders Nickels.
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“Black Stripe, come and introduce yourself to my first boyfriend,” sang out Annette in ardor.
Black Stripe slithered up to Flanders where he sat on the park bench. Flanders reached out his hand with faith in Christ and snake and mistress, and Black Stripe reached up his head and wound himself around Flanders’s proffered hand. “Whoa!” he said lifting up his arm quickly up above his head. “I’ve got a snake around my arm!”
“I’m sorry, Flanders,” said Miss Worst.
And he quickly said, “I like that.” And he brought his hand back down before his face and looked the coral snake in the eye in good will and friendship. “The creatures that our Creator has wrought, O Annette,” he said.
“Do you like Black Stripe, Boyfriend?” she asked.
“Oh I do. I do,” said Flanders.
Then the coral snake mistress said, “You may get down now, Black Stripe. You have to let the others get their turn to get to know my Flanders as well.” And this coral snake slithered off of Flanders’s hand and let himself fall back upon the grass.
“Positively reptilian,” said Flanders in comic and sincere admiration.
Then Annette spoke and said, “Yellow Stripe, meet Flanders, my first crush at high school.”
Bold and sure, Flanders reached out both hands toward Yellow Stripe. And the coral snake reached up his head, and he did spin his serpentine form around Flanders’s ten fingers. “Woo! This one’s got me by both hands, girlfriend!” he said in surprise. He shook his wrists in alarm. And the coral snake held on tight. And Flanders quickly got used to this snake as well. And he shook his wrists no more. He brought his head close to the coral snake, and he said, “You are one frisky snake, O Yellow Stripe.”
“Are you okay, Flanders?” asked Annette in apology.
“I am very okay, Annette,” he said. “This snake feels good on me.”
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After a while of Flanders’s admiring of Yellow Stripe, Miss Worst said, “You must get down, Yellow Stripe. Red Stripe has been waiting a long time for his turn to meet Flanders.”
And Flanders leaned both arms down toward the grass of the park, and this second coral snake slithered off of Flanders and back down upon the lawn.
And Flanders proffered his head and neck to Red Stripe.
“Red Stripe. It’s your turn now,” said Annette Worst. “Go up and say, ‘Hi,’ to Flanders.”
And Red Stripe slithered up Flanders’s leg and chest and made himself at home around Flanders’s neck. “This is scary,” said Flanders, thinking at first to pull this coral snake off from around his neck. But Red Stripe gave him a kiss on his nose with his snake tongue. And Flanders instantly felt safe in God’s hands and in Red Stripe’s tameness. And with his hands, Flanders sweetly began to stroke the coral snake along his long form.
After a while, the pretty high school snake mistress spoke and said, “You may get down now, Red Stripe. Do let your mistress get her turn with Flanders.”
And Red Stripe obeyed and slithered back down Flanders’s chest and legs and came back down to earth. Flanders and the three coral snakes were now comfortable with each other and good friends.
And Flanders said, “Your snakes, Annette, make even better pets than do dogs and cats.”
“Would you give your girlfriend the same love that you give her snakes, Flanders?” she flirted.
“Who better for a boy to make love with a girlfriend’s coral snakes than with the girlfriend herself?” flirted Flanders right back.
“Could a high school girl slither up upon her boyfriend on a park bench?” asked Annette in coquetry.
“She can, but she must not bite,” he said in wiles.
And Annette sat down on Flanders’s lap where he sat. And she put her arm around his shoulders. And she said, “Things like this were missing in my life before you came into my life,
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Flanders.”
“This romance stuff really isn’t all that bad,” he did say.
“See? I told you so,” she said.
“You were right, Annette,” he said.
This real girl was now so close to him that he could feel her dark blonde hair resting upon the side of his head and against his ear and against his own hair.
“This is fun. I never did this before. What I missed in my life before I found you, Annette,” he said.
“I now have a boyfriend to treat extra special,” said Annette.
“And I now have a girlfriend to take good care for,” said Flanders.
“Thanks to the Good Lord,” said Annette.
“Praise the Lord Jesus,” said Flanders.
Just then her three coral snakes began to give benign little hisses in loneliness down before them in front of the bench.
“They want to join us,” said Flanders in bright understanding.
“They can’t come up this time,” said Annette. “I’ve got you now.”
He saw his girlfriend look down upon them in apology. And he saw them looking up upon her in lonesomeness.
She said to them, “My boyfriend might not like that for now.”
“Nonsense,” he said to her in compassion. “Your snakes are welcome in everything you and I do together, Annette. If you are happy sharing me with the coral snakes, then I am happy being shared by you with the coral snakes.”
“Really, Flanders?” she sang out.
“Really, Annette,” he definitely concurred.
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Miss Worse slapped her lap with her palm and said, “Come on up, boys.”
The three coral snakes hesitated. They looked at Flanders to see what he would say. And Flanders slapped his lap with his palm and said, “Come on up, boys.”
Still getting used to seeing their mistress on a strange man’s lap, the coral snakes yet hesitated.
Then Flanders looked at Black Stripe, and he said, “Come up, Black Stripe.”
And Black Stripe conceded and gladly slithered up to join girlfriend and boyfriend.
Then Flanders looked at Yellow Stripe, and he beckoned him in like, saying, “Join us, Yellow Stripe.”
Completely comfortable with this strange romance his mistress was in with this guy, Yellow Stripe at once slithered up the bench and sat down among the group.
Then Flanders turned to Red Stripe, and he said to him, “Red Stripe, welcome. Come up and join the party.”
Completely won over by this man, Red Stripe then went ahead and “joined the party.”
“Now we all five are together, Annette,” said Flanders.
Suddenly it dawned on Annette. And she said, “Why, Boyfriend, you called them all by their names!”
“Uh huh,” he said, his face beaming.
“You know which one has which name!” she said.
“Yep. I do, Annette,” he said.
“But how could you tell them apart?” she asked, incredulous.
“I know my new girlfriend-in-the-Lord well,” he said.
“Nobody else in the whole world can do what you did and get it right,” she said in amazement.
“I pay attention to my girlfriend,” he bragged.
“Tell me. What is your secret?” she asked.
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“Oh. That’s easy for a man who has a crush on a coral snake mistress who talks to her coral snakes,” he said.
“Tell me right now, Boyfriend, or I will sic my snakes on you,” she said in tease.
“That I shall do,” he said. And he explained, “I was studying your three coral snakes when you introduced them to me. I noticed that when you spoke to Black Stripe and called him by his name, that Black Stripe was the coral snake with a black stripe on his tail. And I noticed when you called forth Yellow Stripe by name to present him to me, that Yellow Stripe was the coral snake with a yellow stripe on his tail. And in like, when you introduced me to Red Stripe, saying his name, I noticed that Red Stripe was the coral snake with the red stripe on his tail.”
“Boyfriend, you amaze me!” she exclaimed. “Even I had not noticed this in them before.”
“I can see now that the same goes for their stripes on their head, too,” he went on to say.
“Flanders, you are endowed with Holy Ghost wisdom,” she said.
“No. I just have a crush on a beautiful coral snake girl,” he said.
“And this beautiful coral snake girl has a crush on you, Flanders,” said Annette Worst. And she leaned her pretty head against his handsome head and fell upon a reverie of magic of romance.
Just then a raucous and grating masculine voice came upon them from nearby in this park, saying, “Flanders, I’ve got a bone to pick with you, and it’s not a funny bone!”
The five on the park bench looked up. There stood the school bully, standing on the second highest step of a nearby playground slide and scowling upon them. Upon the highest step of the slide was a glass case about one foot wide by one foot long by one foot high. There looked to be something in this case.
The school bully spoke again, “You’re going to pay for making me look bad in the cafeteria at school the other day, Flanders.”
Annette spoke and said to the bully, “What are you going to do about it? I’ve got three
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poisonous coral snakes that will protect us from you.”
More mature in the faith than Miss Worst, Flanders cautioned her, “Annette, ‘A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.’ Proverbs 15:1.”
“What are you going to do about it, Flanders?” demanded the bully.
“You really insulted me real bad when you said that poem to me in front of everybody,” said Flanders. “And I went and lost my temper. My losing my temper like that was not a good example of what a Christian is supposed to be like.”
“No apology is enough right now, Flanders,” bellowed the bully. “I’ve come to get you!”
“I’ve got three venomous coral snakes that will bite you,” threatened Annette Worst.
“What do you have in the glass box?” asked Flanders Nickels.
“Three mongooses,” declared the bully.
“You’ve got three mongooses?” asked Annette, taken aback.
“Yeah,” said the bully. “’Mongooses’ as in ‘cobra killers.’”
“Why, mongooses like that could kill my coral snakes!” cried out Miss Worst.
“I’ve got three mongooses. You’ve got three coral snakes,” mocked the bully.
“What are you doing with them in a glass case up there at the top of the slide?” asked Flanders.
“Flanders, Annette, it does not pay to get on my bad side,” said the bully. He put his hands upon the glass mongoose repository to hold it steady up there.
“What are you going to do with all that up there on the top of the slide?” asked Annette this time.
“Funny you should ask,” said the bully. He slid this glass case a little way out toward the chute portion of this slide.
“You’re not going to slide that down the slide. Are you?” asked Miss Worst.
“I will slide this glass container down this slide, and the glass will fall, and this glass will
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break, and the mongooses will be free, and the mongooses will go after your coral snakes,” told the bully his elaborate schemes.
“That’s a terrible, horrible thing to do,” cried out Annette.
“You’re a crazy man,” said Flanders.
“Hey, I like to see animals fight,” said the bully.
“What did you say?” asked Flanders.
“I like to see animals fight,” said the bully.
This declaration made Flanders more angry now for the cause of animals than that mocking poem had made him angry for his own cause.
And Flanders asked the bully, “Would you take back what you said just now?”
Instead the school bully went on to seal his challenge, saying, “I like it when animals get hurt and die.”
Then the bully went ahead and gave the glass case a push out upon the chute. The glass case sled down the slide, fell off of the bottom of the slide, and fell upon the cement in front of the slide.
The glass shattered. The mongooses were loosed. The coral snakes hissed. And the mongooses began to charge upon the coral snakes.
Flanders jumped in front of the coral snakes and their mistress and faced the predatory little mongooses in the power of his God. Flanders prayed to God, “Lord, I pray You stop these mongooses in their tracks!”
Lo, the three mongooses suddenly stopped their charge!
Then Flanders prayed, “Lord, I pray You turn these mongooses back around.”
Lo, the three mongooses turned back around and now faced their master.
Then Flanders prayed, “Lord, I pray You sic these mongooses back upon the bully.”
Lo, the three mongooses now turned on the bully, and they went after him.
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His own machinations turned about back against himself and his pursuit of cruelty redounding against him, the bully was too startled to move from his high position up on the ladder portion of the slide. He saw his three mongooses jump up onto the bottom of the chute portion and begin running up it toward him. He then panicked and tried to climb hastily down the ladder. But in his hurry, his feet twisted at the ankles, and he tripped, and he fell the rest of the way down. He landed upon his head in the grass. The mongooses were now at the top of the slide. And they began to scamper down the steps after him with their innate agility. In a cry for help, the bully got back to his feet and tried to flee. And the mongooses caught up to him. And he ran away from the park, his mongooses biting at his ankles. And he kept saying over and over, “Never mess with a man and woman of God.” And then he was gone. And this time there would be no later time for a bully’s revenge. He would not bother Flanders again.
“My knight in shining armor,” praised Annette Worst Flanders Nickels.
“My damsel in distress,” praised Flanders Nickels Annette Worst.
A moment passed.
“Shall we get back to what we were doing?” asked Flanders.
“Yes. Let’s,” said Annette.
And Annette sat back down upon Flanders’s lap. And they shared innocent magic of romance. And they fellow shipped in Christ. And they pet the coral snakes.
Thus did two first crushes begin their brave new world as boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ.
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