Flanders and Venus, two unsaved people, are boyfriend-and-girlfriend on a date at the park. They are horsey-back riding in the grass, he in his cutoffs and she in her magenta one-piece swimsuit. She rides his back for a way. Then he rides her back for a way. Seagulls go by, quoting Bible verses. Pelicans go by, denying those Bible verses. What will this couple do about Jesus? What will this couple do with Christ?
HORSEY-BACK RIDING
By Mr. Morgan P. McCarthy
Flanders Nickels got down on his hands and knees in coquetry with the young woman and asked, “Venus, would you care for a horsey-back ride from your boyfriend here in our park?”
“Flanders, a horsey-back ride with me in my one-piece swimsuit?” she asked.
“You want to feel good in your maillot. Don’t you?” he tempted her.
“Yeah,” she said. “A woman wants to feel good in her one-piece swimsuit.” Then she said. “And you have on your swimsuit, too.”
“We can both feel good in our swimsuits with a real horsey-back ride in our favorite park,” he said to her.
“I never sat on you before with myself dressed in this,” she said.
“You never asked for that,” he said.
“The crazy fun things that young men and young women like us think to do on our dates,” she
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said.
“Magenta is a sexy color for a one-piece swimsuit,” he said.
And she said, “Denim is a great material for a guy’s swimsuit.”
And Venus got down and sat upon her horsey-boyfriend’s proffered back. “How are you doing up there, Venus?” he asked.
“A tall lady going horsey-back riding with a short guy, Flanders–my feet might drag on the ground,” said Venus.
“You’ve got long legs, Venus,” he said.
“I’m six feet tall,” she bragged. “What should I do with my feet, Flanders?” she asked.
“Maybe bend your legs back a little bit when I carry you around like this,” he suggested.
“When do we get to start, Flanders?” she asked.
And he said, “Right now, woman.”
And he began his horsey-back ride for his young woman friend admirer. He began to crawl on his hands and knees, carrying his maillot girlfriend on his back thus.
“Are you having fun?” he asked.
“Yes! Yes!” she said. “We are taking a children’s game and making it a grown-ups’ game,”
“This is lots of fun for me, too, Venus,” he said.
“But I feel like I might fall off,” she said.
“Maybe try putting both of your hands down upon my back in front of yourself, girlfriend,” he suggested.
She tried that, and she was stable. “That works just great,” she said. “I shall not fall now.”
“I shall take care not to let my lady fall,” he said gallantly.
The grass was green, and the ground was smooth here in the park in the city. It could be the smallest park in town, but it was their favorite park. The Fox River ran alongside this little park.
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This park had only one picnic table in it. Venus said, “It was nice of the city of De Pere to put a picnic table in this park for us.”
“I called up the city park department and asked for them to put one here,” he said.
“We have all of our fun together here at that picnic table, Flanders,” she said.
“I was kind of thinking that maybe the city would not mind a request like that from one of their own people,” said Flanders. “And sure enough, they honored my request.”
“Do you see the Fox River Trail over there, Flanders?” she asked, pointing west.
“Uh huh,” he said.
“In my old days here in De Pere, that used to be an abandoned railroad tracks,” she said.
“Ir gives a good view of the Fox River, Venus,” he said, admiring the river to the west.
“And do you see this back road here?” she asked. They looked to between the river and themselves from where they were having their frolic in the grass.
“This little back road here along the park?” he asked.
“Yep,” she said. “It’s called ‘Front Street.’”
“I never knew that it had a name,” he said.
“Nobody knows its name,” she said.
“Everybody knows the name of the busy road on the other side of this park,” he said. They both looked to the east of this park.
“Broadway Street,” said the horsey-back ride woman.
“One of the chief roads of east De Pere,” he said.
“Funny how one street everybody knows, and the other street nobody knows, even though they are parallel and right next to each other,” said Venus.
“What a difference that one block makes,” said Flanders.
“Forever ago I think that Front Street might have been a main road,” said the maillot horsey-
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back girl rider. “I once saw pictures of old-time De Pere from before our time.”
“I remember the old Claude-Allouez Bridge, and I know the new Claude-Allouez Bridge.” he said. “On this east side of town, the new bridge is two blocks south of where the old bridge was. But on the west side of town, the new bridge is just alongside where the old bridge was.”
“There used to be an old water department building in this park, and there was a Hardee’s just outside this park to the north,” she said.
“They’re both gone now,” he said.
“Strange water department things in that little building,” she said. She used to look into its windows.
“And lots of customers at Hardee’s,” he said. “One could buy three burgers there for a total of six-and-a-half dollars.”
“Are your knees getting sore, Boyfriend?” asked Venus.
“I have only just begun,” he said. “My knees feel fine.”
“How about your hands?” she asked.
“My hands feel good still, Venus,” he said.
“Good. Because your one-piece swimsuit girl does not want to have to get off,” said Venus.
And they were now at the end of the park. And Flanders said, “Now I think that I will turn around and go back to where we have started, girlfriend.”
“We started by the bridge. We are here now by the sign. Now we can go back to the bridge,” said Venus.
And he resumed giving Venus her horsey-back ride in the grass in the park. Then the maillot gal looked and said, “Uh oh, Flanders. I see a seagull coming from up ahead.”
“Not a seagull, Venus,” he said in regrets..
“Yes, Flanders. A seagull,” said Venus.
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“Well at least that means that a pelican can not be far off for us, girl,” said Flanders.
“Pelicans I love. Seagulls I hate,” said the horsey-back rider. “The talking ones that is.”
“The pelicans deny what the seagulls say,” said Flanders.
“Brace yourself, Boyfriend,” said Venus. “Here he comes.”
And the seagull flew by overhead, and as he flew by overhead, he said to the frolickers in the park, “It is written, ‘For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods.’ Psalm 95:3. Thus saith the Lord.”
Right after that a pelican flew by overhead, saying to the two people about what the seagull had just told them, “Yea. Hath God said?” Then the pelican said, “There is no such thing as God.”
And just like that the two speaking birds were gone.
“The words of the seagull disturb me,” said Flanders. “But the words of the pelican make me comfortable.”
“We two don’t need God,” said Venus. “We get along in life just fine without Jesus.”
“People say that there is an angel that sends those nasty seagulls around to say all of these Bible verses to people wherever they fly,” said Flanders. “And I heard it said that there is a demon who sends around those pelicans, to chase away those seagulls and to refute what they say.”
“In that case, I have words to say to that angel, and they are not pleasant words,” said Venus. “But the demon, as he is referred to, I would like to hug him and say, ‘Thank you for your pelicans.’”
“At least the pelicans make sense to us, Venus,” said Flanders. “Those seagulls and what they say always offend me.”
“We don’t need Christ,” said Venus.
“Not you and I, girl,” said Flanders.
“There is no such thing as God,” said the maillot girl the words of the pelican.
“I should buy a BB gun,” he said after some thought. “I could nail a few of those nasty seagulls
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and take away some of them from this earth, and our dates at the park would be better for the both of us, Venus.”
“It won’t do any good,” she said. “There are so many of them, that they will still come from everywhere and any time.”
“I don’t like their keeper,” he said.
“We both don’t like the seagull keeper,” said Venus. “We both like the pelican keeper.”
“His pelicans say good things to us people who are not Christians,” said Flanders.
“Oh, Flanders, let’s not ruin our date talking about Christians,” said Venus. “Last time we were here, we started talking about those kind of people, and we got all worked up and frustrated about them. They ruined our date.”
Christians talked just like the seagulls—with lots of Scripture verses. And they were even worse than the seagulls were. And they were so holy that they made Flanders and Venus feel like sinners.
“I should get a rifle for the believers,” said Flanders in his rebellion against God.
“That would be breaking the law, Boyfriend,” said Venus.
“Maybe so, too, is shooting seagulls,” he said.
“Are you still doing all right down there?” asked the horsey-back rider her “horsey.”
“My knees might be getting green grass stains,” he said, “But they can still keep on with our little romance we are having today, Venus.”
“How much longer can you go on?” she asked.
“Oh, for a week at least,” he said.
“Macho man,” she said, laughing out loud.
And he said instead now, “For a day at least.”
“Superman,” she said.
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“For an hour at least,” he said.
“Mortal man,” she said to him now.
“I will keep carrying my fuchsia maillot girl up hill and down,” he promised.
“Or in this case back and forth,” she said.
“No lady of mine needs to walk upon her own feet at the park with me as her prince,” he said in
flirt.
“This is even better than a knight in shining armor sweeping his damsel in distress off of her feet and carrying her away,” said Venus.
And now they were at the bridge again. He said, “I’ve got more energy yet to go, girl.”
“Let’s go back to the park sign back there,” she said. And with a happy sigh, he turned back around on his hands and knees and began the third span of this park. And she said, “When you get tired, Flanders, can it be my turn to be the horsey for a while?”
“I’d like that, girl!” he said coquettishly. “Soon,” he promised.
“Soon, Boyfriend,” she said.
“I’m glad that we two live real close, Venus,” he said.
“I, also,” said the girl.
“I live on the second floor,” he said.
“And I live on the third floor,” she said.
Boyfriend and girlfriend both lived in the old rundown Colonial Apartments just one block north from the edge of this park right where they were now in their spree. This De Pere landmark was over one hundred fifty years old; that made it older than this city of De Pere by about twenty-five years.
“Just think, Flanders,” she said. “Our building was here before De Pere was.”
“Two apartments in the basement, five apartments on the first floor, five apartments on my
second floor, and two apartments on your third floor,” he said. “Fourteen apartments in all.”
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“And don’t forget the rest of the basement. And don’t forget the big balcony that covers the rest of the third floor, Flanders,” said Venus.
“The balcony with a sturdy railing and with a ladder to the elevator shaft and with the fire escape that goes right past my bedroom window,” said Flanders.
“Ah, our building’s old elevator,” she said.
“The one that does not stop on the second floor,” he said.
“It goes from the first floor to the third floor and back down to the first floor only,” she said.
“There is no place for it to open out into the second floor,” he said.
“But my apartment is my favorite of the whole Colonial Apartments,” she said.
“And my apartment is also my favorite of the fourteen,” he said.
“My neighbor up on the third floor has the biggest apartment of the building,” she said.
“One of the apartments in this building is so small that the bed has to come down from the wall,” said Flanders.
“And the two basement apartments are just like caves,” she said.
“Mine is a nice big apartment,” he said. “Mom measured my living room to be fifteen feet by sixteen feet,” said Flanders. “And my bedroom has two walls with a window in them. And I love all of my hardwood floors.”
“Pity the neighbor below you on the first floor on that side of the building,” said Venus.
“Yeah, girl. His view outside of his apartment is a solid ten-foot high cement wall just a few few feet from his windows,” said Flanders. “Lucky for me that my apartment is above that.”
“You’ve got a great view of the Fox River from your living room,” she said.
“Three big windows, one after another,” he said. “I can see the river in the daytime, and I can see the river at night with the lights on the bridge.”
“You’ve got a good view of the bridge a block away from your south windows, Flanders,” she
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said.
“The old bridge, Venus—that, I believe, ran right next to this building along the north in those days,” he said.
“I was here then, already,” she said. “My windows gave me a close-up view of that old bridge. It was just a few feet away.”
“I heard that chunks of bridge were falling down into the river,” he said.
“Uh huh,” she said. “And its two lanes were not enough for the traffic that it had by then.
“The bridge that we have now has four lanes,” he said.
“De Pere’s infrastructure benefited from the new bridge. Lots of people come from west De Pere to east De Pere. And lots of people go from east De Pere to west De Pere,” said Venus.
Just then a seagull flew by overhead, and he quoted scripture to the unsaved couple, saying to them, “It is written, ‘For the Lord is great, and greatly to be praised: he is to be feared above all gods.’ Psalm 96:4. Thus saith the Lord!”
“Boo!” said the two at the park up at the seagull sent by his keeper.
Right behind this seagull of God flew by overhead a pelican of the Devil, and he said to the two, “Yea. Hath God said? You all are gods.”
“Yea!” said the two at the park up at the pelican sent by his keeper.
“I am the captain of my destiny,” bragged Flanders.
“And I am the god of my own life,” said the one-piece swimsuit girl.
“I do not need God,” he said.
“We people of the twenty-first century are too sophisticated for God,” said Venus.
“God is dead,” said Flanders.
“We have evolved beyond God,” boasted Venus.
“That mysterious seagull keeper, Venus,” said Flanders. “He and his seagulls think differently
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from how we think, and they say things that we do not say. The seagull keeper is not a friend of the world.”
“I would like to get to know the pelican keeper,” said the horsey-back rider girl. “He thinks and talks and does the kinds of things that you and I do as nonbelievers.”
“The seagull keeper is too old-fashioned for today,” said Flanders.
“The pelican keeper is just right for the world as it is now,” said Venus.
“He is almost like a god,” said Flanders about the keeper of the pelicans.
“Like a god of this world,” said Venus.
“He commands the air above us,” said Flanders.
“Like a prince of the power of the air,” said the maillot girl.
“Those Bible verses of the seagulls, though,” said Flanders, ambivalent for just a moment.
“What about those Bible verses of the seagulls, Flanders?” she asked.
“If one were to think upon them,” he said.
“What if one were to think upon them, Flanders?” she asked.
“They could make you see as the seagull keeper,” he said.
“Our enemy,” she said.
“Yeah. You’re right, girlfriend,” he said. “Our enemy.” And he refused to say more.
Flanders had just now confessed first doubts of his ideology as an unbeliever. She did not catch that. He would not say such again. He hated Christ and Christians and seagulls.
“We’re here back at the sign once again, Flanders,” said Venus.
“One more trip back to the bridge, girl?” asked Flanders.
“A maillot girl like myself can enjoy another ride back to the bridge,” she said. “Then do I get to carry you, boyfriend?”
“Then it will be my time to ride you, woman,” he promised.
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“Ah. I can’t wait,” said the one-piece swimsuit gal.
“I am beginning to tire out,” he said. And the horsey-back ride continued on. They were now
on their fourth span across the park.
“I remember the day that you moved in, Flanders,” she said in reminiscence.
“I’ve been here a while now,” he said.
“That was back before the seagulls started coming to town,” she said.
“That was before the pelicans started coming, too,” he said.
“You had your handsome bucket hat on,” she said.
“I had three of them,” he said. “And I’ve still got them.”
“Uh huh. I know,” she said. “A red one and a black one and a navy blue one.”
“The navy blue bucket hat is so dark a blue that it is hard to distinguish it from the black one,” he told her.
“I can tell the difference in the sunlight, Flanders. The one you have on now is the navy blue one,” she said.
“I thought that I had put on the black one,” he said.
“Your hallway where your hats are is a kind of dark hallway,” she said. “It’s hard to tell which one is which in there.”
“The red one is my favorite,” he said.
“Mine, too,” she said. “Could I borrow it sometime, Flanders?”
“My pretty one-piece swimsuit girl, you would look fetching in that,” he said. “I’d be glad to lend you my red bucket hat.”
“Would red clash with magenta, do you think, Flanders?” asked the magenta maillot girlfriend.
“No, girl. I think that it would match wonderfully,” he said.
“Would your navy blue bucket hat match my one-piece swimsuit?” she asked.
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Before he could answer “yes,” or “no,” Venus reached down in flirt and grabbed his hat off of his head and put it upon her own brunette head. “Thanks for the nice hat, Flanders,” she teased him.
“Bucket hat stealer,” he teased her.
“Bucket hat thief,” she agreed with him about herself.
“You’re welcome, girlfriend,” he said to her in fun.
And in frolic he continued carrying her horsey-back style.
Just then they heard from above, “It is written, ‘For thou, Lord, art high above all the earth: thou art exalted far above all gods.’ Psalm 97:9. Thus saith the Lord!” Another seagull had come upon them with another Bible verse about Christ.
Man and woman looked up in contempt, and they saw the seagull fly on by. “Come on, good pelican. Don’t fail us,” called up Venus looking around for a pelican.
And a pelican did come right as custom and right as Venus wanted. And this pelican went on to say, “Yea. Hath God said?” Then he said, “”There are many gods, and Christ is but one of them.” Having told what his keeper had told him to say, this pelican then flew right on by overhead.
Looking for something to say, Flanders said, “He’s right—that pelican. All of the history of the countries and kingdoms and empires out there all tell of many gods. Why should Christ be any more of a god than they?” He doubted his implications.
“That seagull made it sound that Christ is God with a capital ‘G,’ and that other gods are each a god with a little ‘g,’” said Venus.
“That’s where you and I disagree together with the seagulls,” said Flanders in half-lie.
“I wish that I could pet one of those pelicans,” she said.
“I, also,” said Flanders not sure of himself anymore.
“I wish that I could wring the neck of one of those seagulls, Flanders,” said Venus.
“I’d like to do that, too,” he said. Then he said in his secret thoughts, Maybe not.
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“There is nothing more obnoxious to sensible people like ourselves than to hear someone tell a Bible verse to us,” said the maillot woman. “Scripture is hate speech.”
“No. It’s not hate speech,” he said.
“What’s that, boyfriend?” she asked.
What made Scripture hate speech? This suddenly came upon him in his head. These Scripture verses spoken by all of these seagulls of the world were not spoken in hate. These seagulls maybe were saying those Bible verses in compassion and not in enmity. There was a sense to them and to their words that seemed to go beyond this life. And about the pelicans and what they kept saying, These pelicans kept denying the Bible verses and causing doubt to the Word of God. What if they were wrong though? Their pelicans all looked so good and proper and attractive. What if they were nice to look at on the outside, but were dark as evil on the inside?
She said again, “What’s that, boyfriend?”
He broke free from his thoughts, remembered that he was with her, and did say to her a simple, “I’m not as sure of that as you are, Venus.”
“I’m sure of that,” she said, startled by her boyfriend’s disagreement with her.
And now they were back at the bridge. His time as the horsey was done now. His one-piece swimsuit girl’s turn as the horsey was come now. She got off of his back and stood up upon her feet. He got up from his hands and knees and stood up and stretched himself out where he stood to limber up after his labor of the romance.
“Oh, good! Now I can give my boyfriend his horsey-back ride,” sang out Venus in glee.
He looked her over in her fuchsia maillot from head to foot and back quite lasciviously. And she did the same with her eyes her boyfriend in his swimsuit attire. Then she got down upon her hands and knees on the short green grass and the yellow dandelions, and she said, “I am ready, boyfriend.”
“Back to the sign, Venus,” he said. “Now I get to ride you.”
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And he sat down upon her on her back, near her bottom. And she began to crawl on her hands and knees, carrying him as she went in this especial and idiosyncratic little romance together called horsey-back riding.
Almost at once he said, “My short legs, Venus. They don’t reach the ground. I could fall off.”
“My boyfriend is a mere five feet eight inches,” she said.
“I’m a little guy,” he confessed.
Reminding him of his earlier advice, she told him, “Put your hands on my back, and maybe that way you will not fall down.”
He did so. She continued on. And he was sure and steady. “That works, Venus,” he said. And this second half of their date at the park thus began.
At once they began to talk about how Venus had first discovered this park. He said, “You found this park before we even found each other.”
“You had not yet moved out on your own from your parents’ place, and I just got done moving out of my parents’ place to start life on my own,” she said. “Right away I found these Colonial Apartments. The day I went to look at my prospective first apartment there I checked out the yard that went with this rental property, with the question for myself, ‘Where can I read outside in the summer times?’ Well, I looked all around the big gray building, and I found no comfortable or spacious yard where I could read. And I doubted this apartment. But as soon as the landlady showed me my apartment, and I saw what it looked like inside, I had to have it. And though I did not like the yard, I loved the apartment. The landlady also showed me the great big balcony on the third floor that I could come right out onto directly from my apartment. I said to her, ‘This out here could be a place for me to do my reading.’
And she said, ‘Or the park down the road, Venus.’
‘There is a park close by?’ I asked her.
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And she said, ‘Yes. It’s a beautiful and large park right by the river. It’s called “Voyageur Park,”, and it’s only two blocks away off to the north.’
‘I could go there in summer and read,’ I told her.
‘Or you might try the other park in the other direction,’ she said to me.
“Is that a good park, too?’ I asked her.
‘I don’t know,’ she said.
“What’s it called?’ I asked her.
‘I don’t know that, either,’ she said.
“Is this park also close to here?’ I asked her.
And she said, ‘It’s even closer than Voyageur Park is to here,’ she told me. ‘It’s only one block away from here off to the south.’”
“Our very Wells Park here, my lady,” said Flanders, caught up in their true tale of this park where they were horsey-back riding now.
“I’m happy here at Wells Park with you every day, Flanders,” said his one-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“I never see you reading here, though, Venus,” he said.
“That’s because I’ve got you now, Flanders,” she said.
“I’m better than reading?” he asked, flattered.
“You are more fun for a woman like me than even the best book,” she said.
Just then a call from a seagull came upon them from above and from behind, Man and woman looked up to see what this seagull had to say from the Bible. There he was hovering just above them only twenty feet above, and he said to them, “It is written, ‘The Lord is great in Zion; and he is high above all the people.’ Psalm 99:2, Thus saith the Lord!” Then, just like that, he flew off from them.
In sarcasm, Venus said, “They come from all directions upon us, Flanders. At least they come
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only one at a time.”
“I don’t see any pelicans coming from behind him,” said Flanders.
“Where is a pelican when a woman wants him?” asked the horsey-back horse woman.
“I see one coming down now from way up,” he said, looking into the sky. “Here goes, Venus,”
“What do you mean ‘Here goes?’” she asked him.
Then the pelican said to them about the seagull’s Bible verse, “Yea. Hath God said?” And he then went on to say comforting words to Venus, “God is not high above all the people. My potentate, Lucifer, is high above all the people.” And then the pelican flew off.
“Why, this pelican calls his master, ‘Lucifer!’” exclaimed Flanders.
“Is that a bad thing, Flanders?” asked the magenta maillot girl in some opposition to him.
“Everybody knows that the pelicans answer to their mysterious pelican keeper. Is it possible that this mysterious pelican keeper answers to the Devil?” asked Flanders Nickels.
“I answer to no one,” bragged Venus.
“If a person does not answer to God, does he answer to the Devil?” asked Flanders. Neither horsey-back ride revelers knew that even the Devil answers to Jesus in Jesus’s sovereignty over all creation.
Flanders said, “I fear God the Judge now,”
“I hope that you are not becoming like one of them, Flanders,” she said somewhat rudely.
“Venus, we are becoming involved in big things now—things bigger and more powerful than ourselves,” he said. “I am beginning to see the battle of good vs. evil that is going on in the skies above our earth right now.”
“Just because seagulls say one thing and pelicans say another thing, Flanders?” she asked. “These are just birds, Flanders.”
“Birds that speak English,” he reminded her.
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She did a double-take, and she said, “You’ve got me there, Flanders. Normal seagulls and normal pelicans do not speak people talk.”
“That seagull that just went by said that God is high above all the people, Venus, Maybe God is Jesus after all,” he said.
“No boyfriend of mine tells me that Jesus is God,” said the horsey-back ride young woman.
“I said it,” he said. “I said it. But I do not stand to it.” His pride yet struggled against God in his yet-lost state. He resisted Jesus still. She resisted Jesus much.
“Promise me that you will never say to me again, ‘Jesus is Lord,’” she demanded of him.
He refused to deny Jesus as the true God. And yet he did not proclaim Jesus as the true God, either. But he was beginning to believe the seagulls. And he was beginning to disbelieve the pelicans.
“Is that a promise?” Venus insisted after having no response the first time she had asked him.
And in noncommittal reply he said, “I cannot right now either proclaim or disclaim Jesus as Lord. I shall make no promises. Venus.””
Venus gave a huff of rebellion against God, and she said, “These wild things that you are saying about this Jesus are driving your girlfriend out of this park, Flanders. You are wrecking our fun time we were having with our horsey-back riding. What’s wrong with you today? Don’t go and listen to those seagulls. Agree with me about the pelicans, boyfriend.”
“Venus, you’re yelling at me today,” he said. “You never did that before.”
“Well you’re talking like a Christian to me now,” she said. “You never did that before to me.”
All caught up in the discord of the moment, Flanders chose to reject the message of the seagulls, and he said, “I wish to never see and hear a seagull again for as long as I live.” He said this to his girlfriend overtly. But he was secretly also saying this to God covertly. He chose Venus over Christ.
And the two were now at the sign. Then Venus said, “I’m sorry for fighting with you, Flanders. Let’s make up and let me keep giving you a horsey-back ride back to the bridge.”
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And Flanders also apologized to her. And they forgave and made up and continued their date of horsey-back riding. She secretly feared the next seagull. He secretly feared the next pelican.
For fear of strange silence coming between them from this first fight, Flanders spoke and said, “I wonder if Romeo and Juliet ever had a fight.”
She said, “Shakespeare might know,” and she gave a good laugh of levity.
“And those who read his play,” said Flanders with a laugh.
“How’s it going up there?” she asked in reconciliation.
“Things are going good up here,” he said. “My hands are holding on. My feet are still above the ground. And I am having a good rest doing the riding now.” Then he said, “How’s it going down there for you?””
“My legs, though longer than yours, are not as strong as yours. They are getting weary. And my arms, also longer than yours, are thinner than yours. They are getting kind of tired, too,” she said. “But my back is strong for a lady, and my backbone can carry you for a few mores passes across this park.”
“From one end to the other end?” he asked.
“Yes. And from the other end back again to the one end, Flanders,” said the maillot gal.
“That will make me feel good,” he said.
“Me, too, even though I’m the one doing the work this time now,” she said.
He then took a look at her pretty head and saw his navy blue bucket hat still upon her. He had forgotten that she had taken his hat from him earlier today on this date at the park. “Ah, my hat, girl.” he said. And he quickly reached out and snatched if off of her brunette head and put it back on his head of brown hair.
“My hat!” she exclaimed, pausing to reach up and feeling her head uncovered again.
In tease, he said, “Only the rider gets to wear my hat. The horsey doesn’t get to cannot wear my
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hat.”
“But it looks better on me,” she said in mirth.
“It does, milady. But it is a man’s hat,” he said.
“Next thing you’ll start doing is snatching my one-piece swimsuit from my closet,” she flirted with him.
“That’s a women’s swimsuit, Venus,” he said.
“My maillot looks better on me, too,” she said.
“It definitely would look worse on me, girl,” he said.
“I once heard something about the life of a women’s one-piece swimsuit model,” said Venus.
“What did you hear?” he asked.
“Often times, Flanders, the men who work with women swimsuit models do go and put those women’s swimsuits on themselves,” said Venus.
“Men do things like that?” he asked.
“I guess so,” she said.
“That’s a thought for me for our next date, girl, he said.
“I am the only one of us two in our dating lives who wears the two-piece swimsuits and the one-piece swimsuits, goofy boyfriend,” she said.
“You won’t share your magenta maillot with your boyfriend?” he asked.
“I won’t even share my magenta maillot with my sister,” said Venus.
“Scratch that idea, girlfriend,” he said with great laughter. And they laughed together.
Just then a seagull began to come toward them from up ahead. Behind him was a pelican.
“Here they come,” said Flanders.
“The bad one and the good one,” said Venus in order.
“The good one and the bad one,” said Flanders in order, unintentionally contradicting her.
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First came the seagull, and, passing over them and past them, he said to them, “It is written, ‘The Lord is high above all nations, and his glory above the heavens.’ Psalm 113:4. Thus saith the Lord!”
Second, flying by right past them, came the pelican, and he said to them, “Yea. Hath God said? Man himself can solve the problems of the nations. Mankind does not need God to help him with the world’s problems.”
“Now that makes sense—that pelican,” said Venus. “We people have the capability to fix everything that goes wrong on planet Earth.”
“That seagull says that Jesus is way high up,” he said.
“So?” she asked.
“Does not this same Jesus Who is so high up also control the weather and the climate of the Earth He created?” asked Flanders.
“You’re adding things to what the seagull said,” said Venus.
“No, I’m not,” he said. “If God is the real Author of Earth’s weather, who is this Mother Nature that the weathermen always talk about?” asked Flanders.
“Mother Nature is not real,” said Venus.
“But the Lord is real,” said Flanders. “I’m beginning to think that the Creator of our Earth is also the Sustainer of our Earth.”
“You don’t seem to be giving us humankind much credit. Look at all the things that mankind had done here in the twenty-first century,” said Venus.
“All of us sinners have turned this world into a hell,” he said. “And I do believe that only God can fix up the mess that we people have made of this Earth.”
“Is this Earth really all that bad?” she asked.
“God is ready to judge all sinners everywhere—and that means you and me,” said Flanders.
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Then she said “Am I really all that bad, Flanders?”
And in reply, he said, “The whole world is wondering if the end of the world will come soon.”
“When is the end of the world?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” he said. “But God is coming soon, I tell you.”
“When is God coming?” she asked Flanders.
“I do not know. I heard that He will come as a thief in the night,” confessed Flanders.
And, herself humbled, but not humiliated, Venus went on to say, “Maybe the talking pelicans and those people who listen to them have a lot to do with the way this world is.”
And he said, “Maybe this world needs a few more talking seagulls.”
And Venus began to change her mind about Christ and Christians. And Flanders was ready to receive Christ as Saviour.
The horsey-back frolickers were now back at the bridge. And she said, “Now back to the good sign, Flanders.” And the two began her third trip as the horsey across the span of this little park. And Flanders continued happily as the rider upon her back.
Then she said, “I remember where I got this one-piece swimsuit, Flanders.”
“You’ve had it for as long as we’ve been dating,” he said.
“I saw it on a pretty young brunette,” said Venus.
“Venus, you’re the only pretty young brunette worthy to have that on,” bragged Flanders on her.
“It was on a maillot model in a Boston Store ad in the newspaper,” she said.
“It was?” he asked. She nodded. “Maybe the girl is pretty,” he then said.
“You’d like her smile,” said Venus.
“I would probably like all of her,” he said.
“You already have all of me,” said Venus.
“Well, I am glad that you have her one-piece swimsuit,” said Flanders.
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“My one-piece swimsuit now,” she flirted.
“I wish that I could see her smile,” said Flanders.
“It’s a lot like mine,” teased Venus.
“And her face?” he asked.
“Like the prettiest girl a guy can find,” said Venus.
“But hardly your slender form,” said Flanders.
“The swimsuit body of a siren,” said the horsey-back rider woman.
“Could I see this swimsuit ad? Do you still have it? Tell me that you’ve got it in a special place,” he said.
“All three ‘yes’s,’” replied Venus. “I’ll get it out on our next date and show her to you.”
“A Boston Store swimsuit,” he said. “But I can surely tell you that this girl is no Venus,” he bragged on his special girlfriend.
“This maillot girl model is no Venus?” she asked with a sly grin.
“Indeed,” he said, sure of himself of his one-piece swimsuit girl being the prettiest one-piece swimsuit girl out there.
“It’s called a ‘surplice maillot,’” she said.
“What kind of maillot is a ‘surplice?’” he asked.
“Do you know how one of my swimsuit cup’s fabric crosses over to the other side and goes over across a little over the other cup of my swimsuit?” she asked.
“I know all about that with you being my swimsuit girlfriend,” he said.
“Well, that kind of one-piece swimsuit is called a ‘surplice,’” she said.
“My magenta surplice maillot girlfriend,” he said. “I learned a new word.”
“It’s been a while since we’ve seen anyone,” she said. She was referring to seagulls and pelicans.
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“I wonder if they are all gone from around here,” he said, understanding her.
“That could be a bad thing and a good thing,” she said, ambivalently.
“Are you…hoping for a seagull, Venus?” he dared ask.
She was non-committal in silence.
“Are you hoping that there is no next pelican?” he asked her.
And she said, “I need hope in this life and in the life to come, Flanders.”
Just then a pelican came up toward them. If there were a seagull to come also, this time the pelican had come first. And he called down to the two searchers of truth, and he said in excess, “Yea. Hath God said, Venus, Flanders?’”
“Get out of here,” called forth Flanders in a stand for God.
And Venus turned away her ears and her eyes from this pelican.
And the pelican did not give up. He said to Venus, “Young woman, you are still on my side yet. Aren’t you?”
And she said, “I don’t trust your kind anymore, O pelican.”
Just then the seagull, delayed, came up to them at this park. And the seagull said, “It is written, my two young disciples, ‘Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; and his greatness is unsearchable.’ Psalm 145:3. Thus saith the Lord!”
The pelican turned to the seagull, and he said to him, “Seagull of God, you’re late.”
In simplicity, Venus said, in judgment, “This pelican got here before you did, O seagull.”
In wisdom, his eyes open, Flanders asked, “Seagull of God, you were held back by evil from delivering your Bible verse of your good keeper. The Devil got involved. Didn’t he?”
And the seagull said, “Indeed three pelicans ganged up against me and kept me from coming here on time. Their keeper did send them. But God saw this from Heaven. And the Lord told my keeper to send three seagulls to rescue me so that I could deliver my Bible verse to you two. I am here.
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God is good. Satan is evil.”
Venus rebuked this evil pelican, “Why, you dirty cheater!”
Stubborn, this pelican attempted to deny the truth of the Scripture of Psalm 145:3 that this seagull had recited to the two lost people: “Do not listen to the Bible verse spoken by the seagull. O girl and guy. There is nothing great about a God who brought suffering and pain and dying to the world that He created.”
In most clear and holy understanding, Venus said, “God never did anything wrong, pelican. If suffering and pain and dying is anyone’s fault, it is the fault of us sinners. The Lord never sinned. He is not to blame for what we bring upon ourselves.”
The pelican betrayed a screech at so profound spiritual wisdom from a woman who was not even saved yet.
Flanders went on to say, “Pelican from Hell, God is Spirit and Truth. We people are flesh and blood. Which group is the one who is wrong? God? No! We sinners? Yes!”
“You, too, young man?” gasped the pelican, finding himself outnumbered.
Now Flanders and Venus stood up from their horsey-back formation and stood strong and sure on their feet for the Christ for Whom they chose to fight. Just then the three other pelicans who had assisted this pelican came charging in the skies above the park. And they focused on the one seagull. Now it was four pelicans against one seagull.
Having had enough of this, Flanders called up to the pelican keeper’s soldiers, and he said, “Get ye behind me!”
And, following the cue of her brave boyfriend, Venus said to the four pelicans in like, “Get ye hence!”
Then the lone seagull became empowered with the Holy Spirit of God, and he attacked the four birds bigger than himself. And the four pelicans scattered, panicked, and fled the seagull for their own
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lives. And the seagull kept on chasing them. And the five were now gone and out of sight of the park.
“The pelicans are gone,” said Venus. “I am happy now.”
“I miss the seagulls,” said Flanders. “Maybe God can see us from Heaven and help us down here.”
“We need to become born-again Christians in order to get to Heaven,” said Venus with eternal wisdom.
“Without Christ as Saviour, we will go down to Hell,” said Flanders with equal eternal wisdom.
They were now back at the sign. The horsey-back riding was done for the day. They knew that their souls needed saving. They did not know whom to turn to now other than Jesus Christ Himself. They prayed to the Saviour of the world for mercy and grace and so great deliverance. And God told them with a still small voice, “Get down on your knees, My people, and accept the free gift of everlasting life.” And, lo, a voice as of the sound of many waters from Above, saying to them, “It is written, ‘For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.’ John 3:16.” Then came the voice of the Holy Spirit of God, saying, “Jesus saves.”
And the two who were seeking Christ did so in obeisance. Flanders prayed first, saying on his knees, “Dear God: You are all-Good. I am all-bad. I, being all-bad, have to go to the most bad place and be there forever because of that. That, of course, is the fires of Hell. But you, Who are all-Good, wish upon me only good. You know that I cannot save myself. So You sent Your Son to die in my place to save my doomed soul. Yet He did not stay dead. Something great happened after He died. And it happened three days after He died. And it happened two thousand years ago. He came back to life! He died and rose again from the dead that I might die and go to Heaven for ever. I entreat You to hear me out and to forgive me and to help me change my old ways of thinking. Give this wicked man before You now so great righteousness. Save my eternal soul. I wait upon You. Thank You. In the
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name of Your own Son do I pray this this day. Amen.” Thus did Flanders Nickels become a born-again Christian.
Then Venus prayed her sinners’ prayer, saying up to God on her knees, “Dear Lord Above: We sinners are bad people, but I am the worst of the bad people. I heard it said that Hell is for all of the talking pelicans. And I know now that Hell is for me, too, as long as I continue living as if You were not real. And I heard it said that Heaven is for all the talking seagulls. And now I know that it can be for me, also, if only I call upon Your name to save me. A few billion people are already in Hell or going there. Many millions of people are already in Heaven or going There. I understand now. I pray that I am one of the ones who get to go to Heaven. I am sorry for what I made myself in this life. I ask You to clean up my life. I know that something really big happened on this Earth long ago that is not in any of the history books. It is something about the cross and the blood that this Jesus shed for me. And then something even bigger happened three days later—something about a real resurrection of God Himself. Help me to talk and think and do all things to Your glory. And take my soul. And I’m all Yours. I say all of this to You with all of my heart. Thank You, Jesus. In Your name I do pray this. Amen.” Thus did Venus, also, become a born-again believer.
They then looked up from their prayer. Behold, the six friendly seagulls who had bade them greeting with those six Bible verses this day all perched upon the sign that read “Wells Park.” And then these six seagulls spoke and said, “It is written, ‘That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life.’ John 3:15. Thus saith the Lord.” Then, after this reassurance of Flanders’s and Venus’s salvation, the seagulls all flew off. And the two stood back up.
“Thank you, good seagulls of God,” said the fuchsia one-piece swimsuit girl.
“Amen, good messengers of Heaven,” called Flanders after them.
Flanders said, “Now that I am saved, I feel like reading the Bible.”
And Venus said, “Now that I am saved, I feel like praying,”
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And both returned to their respective apartments in the Colonial Apartments building to get
alone with God.
The next day, the two got together for a date again at their park so near. Both had come with King James Version Bibles. Both had come in their traditional swimming suits. And both were thinking the same thing. They sat down side-by-side at the picnic table, and their sides touched each other, and he asked, “Did you bring it?”
“The picture of my magenta maillot model?” she asked.
“Uh huh,” he said.
“I did remember, Flanders,” said Venus.
“I did, too,” said Flanders.
“Promise me that you won’t laugh,” she said.
“I promise,” he said.
“It’s all folded up carefully in my Bible,” she said.
“I can’t wait to see the young woman who convinced my girlfriend to buy the maillot that she has on now,” said Flanders.
“I remember when I went there to buy it,” said Venus.
“No. No. The picture first. The story second,” he said in flirt.
“If we do the story first and the picture second, you will better appreciate the picture,” said Venus.
“Okay. Let’s hear the story of your shopping trip at the Boston Store,” he said, complaisant.
“I saw the one-piece swimsuit girl picture in the Sunday newspaper ads, and I decided that I just had to have this, and I went shopping for it right away. As soon as I got there, they all greeted me with a ‘Hello, Venus!’” she began.
“They all knew you, Venus?” he asked.
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“Uh huh,” she said with a nod of her head.
“You must have been a frequent shopper there,” he said.
“Kind of,” she said subtly.
“But they all knew you,” he said.
“Yep,” she said. “One could say that I worked with them.”
“Oh, you worked there,” he said.
“Kind of,” she said subtly once again.
“This story is getting mysterious,” he said.
“And they said to me, ‘Venus, have you come for your swimsuit today?’” said Venus at this park with Flanders.
“They knew what you came to buy that day?” asked Flanders. “Did you have it set aside ahead of time?”
“Oh, Flanders, I do that with all of the maillots I buy,” said Venus. “They know which one-piece swimsuit I am come to buy each time.”
“This is getting mystical, Venus,” he said.
“I’ve now have a whole closet of them,” she said.
“You’ve got a boyfriend who would love to see your closet, Venus,” he said.
“But first the picture,” she said.
“When the story finally gets done,” he teased her.
“The story is just about done,” she said. “There is one more thing to say about the day I bought this.” And she put her thumb and forefinger upon her shoulder strap and raised it in indication of the maillot that she was referring to.
“What is it?” he asked.
“I know that my swimsuit model who wore this maillot in this ad, all of the guys that she
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worked with respected her enough not to put on any of her swimsuits,” said Venus.
“How do you know?” he asked.
She rolled her eyes in fun and said, “Let your girlfriend show you the girl, Flanders.”
“Show me the girl, Venus,” he said.
And Venus pulled out her picture of her one-piece swimsuit newspaper ad model, unfolded it, and spread it out upon the picnic table before Flanders.
It was Venus herself!
“Why, this is you!” he said.
“In my past job, I was a one-piece swimsuit model,” she told him all. “This girl is I!”
“Venus! Venus! You were a catch then, and you are a catch now,” he said.
“Why, thank you, Flanders,” she said. “A maillot lady like myself loves to hear that.”
‘”I have to say, ‘You look like a model!’” he said. Then he asked her, “Why’d you quit?”
“Too much traveling,” she said. “I wanted to stay home and do my reading. So I got an easier job with no traveling.”
“”Now you can stay home and worship God,” he said.
“I can worship here with my boyfriend,” she said.
“Right here at our favorite park’s only picnic table,” he said.
“Let’s start our first worship together right here and right now, Flanders,” said Venus.
“We can read our Bibles and pray our prayers all the time together, at this park for now on,” he said.
“And church, too, Boyfriend?” asked the woman.
“I know where a good Baptist church is in town,” he said.
“Let’s go there this Sunday,” she said.
“Let’s, girl,” he agreed at once.
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“About my closet full of one-piece swimsuits that you wanted to see, Flanders?” she asked.
“After our worship is done today at the park,” he said.
“Amen!” she said. “Amen!”
“Yes! Amen!” he exclaimed.
And unsaved boyfriend-and-girlfriend were now sharing life as saved boyfriend-and-girlfriend.
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