Flanders Nickels and his girlfriend Cynthia Marguerite Burgher are going piggyback-riding together down the Fox River Trail. She is a woman in a magenta one-piece swimsuit. Both are Christians. They are expecting an answer from God for their prayers for a new happy job to go to, one that will replace the drudge of a job they have now. God will answer their prayer when they come to the end of the Fox River Trail. Along the way they have to contend against fairies and elves and dwarfs sent by the Devil.
PIGGYBACK RIDING
By Mr. Morgan P. McCarthy
The swimsuit woman and the swimsuit man were standing on the Fox River Trail underneath the Claude-Allouez bridge in east De Pere on a sunny Saturday afternoon. The woman was dressed in a women’s magenta one-piece swimsuit; the man was dressed in blue jean cut-offs like unto shorts. The swimming suit woman had a straw hat on as swimming suit girls often do. The swimsuit guy had on a red bucket hat. And both were barefoot. Both the gal and the guy had medium-length brown hair, a stature about five feet eight inches, and a weight about one hundred twenty pounds. The woman was a tall thin gal. The guy was a short thin fellow. And they were girlfriend-and-boyfriend-in-Christ.
His name was Flanders Arckery Nickels. Her name was Cynthia Marguerite Burgher.
“Well, Flanders, what should we do for fun on today’s date?” asked Cynthia..
“How about something new again this time?” he asked.
“With you, Flanders, a gal can do lots of new things with her boyfriend every day,” said Miss Burgher.
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“Would you say that my ideas are good ideas?” asked Flanders.
“Oh, but they are great ideas,” said Cynthia Burgher.
“I leave it to you what we should do to have fun today, girl,” he deferred to her.
“I’ve got an idea,” she said. “It is one that even you never thought of with all of your imagination.”
“What idea do you have for a swimsuit couple like ourselves, Cynthia?” he asked.
“Let us go piggyback riding together this time, Flanders,” said the maillot gal.
“Piggyback riding!” he exclaimed.
“You did say we should try a new thing today,” said Miss Burgher.
“Yeah. I did,” Flanders said, liking this idea a lot.
“Piggyback riding does not have to be just for children,” she said. “We adults can go and do that, too.”
He looked upon the form of his lithe and supple maillot girlfriend. He dared to ponder what it would be like for him to have that female form riding his back. And he dared to ponder what it would be like for himself to be riding the back of that female form.
And he said, “Maybe piggyback riding with a one-piece swimsuit girl is not so bad an idea after all, Cynthia.”
She came to thoughts about her maillot form riding his bare back. And she came to thoughts about his swimsuit self riding her maillot form on her back.
And Cynthia said, “I do believe that my idea was the best idea I ever had for us on a date, Flanders.”
“It’s the best of any of our ideas!” he confessed.
“Who gets to start first?” she asked.
“Do you mean, ‘Who gets to give the ride first?’ Or do you mean, ‘Who gets to get the ride
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first?’” he asked her.
“Shall I ride you? Or shall you ride me?” she asked.
“Oo, let me ride you first,” he said.
“Then I get to ride you second, halfway through our date,” she said.
“It’s a date,” he said. “You carry me the first half of our walk, and I carry you the second half of our walk.”
“Are you up to it, Flanders?” she said. “Our dates have involved many good and romantic games. You might tire out if you carry me piggyback style after a few miles.”
“A man can carry a woman a lot farther than a woman can carry a man, you know,” he said.
“Unless the man is a little fellow, and the woman is a tall gal,” she said.
“We are both the same size, Cynthia,” he said. “And a man that is the same size as a woman is still stronger than that woman,”
“Just remember, boyfriend,” she said. “You already deferred. I get to carry you first today. And you get to ride me first today.”
“Are your legs up to the task, woman?” he asked in flirt.
“Your maillot girlfriend is a walker, you know,” she said. “I walk all the time. Walking with a man on my back will be no hindrance to this woman.”
“I’m a lot heavier than a box of books,” he told her.
“You know it,” she said. “You work in a library.” She then said, “And a man is a lot heavier than a fifty-pound salt block or an eighty-pound bag of water softener salt.”
“You know it,” he said. “You work in a grocery store.”
“Which way we should we go from here? Shall we turn around and go north on this trail? Or should we go straight on up ahead and walk south on this trail?” asked Cynthia.
“We should ask God,” he said.
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“Yeah. Let’s pray,” she said.
He prayed for God’s leading for them both on this fun romantic little date. When the two looked off to the north God’s Word of Proverbs 14:12 filled their hearts, saying to them, “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.”
“Did you hear God, Cynthia?” Flanders asked.
“I did,” she said.
“We won’t go down the Fox River Trail that way,” he said. Then the two looked off to the south, and God’s Word of Matthew 6:33 spoke to their hearts, telling them, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
“I heard that, Flanders,” said Cynthia.
“So did I,” said Flanders.
“Let’s go that way then, Boyfriend,” said Miss Burgher.
“Surely God must have something for us at the end of this Fox River Trail, O Cynthia,” he said.
“I see the good hand of the Good Lord in this piggyback ride, Flanders,” said Cynthia Burgher.
And Flanders climbed up onto the back of the one-piece swimsuit woman, and they began their piggyback ride, the gal carrying the guy and the guy riding the gal. They were traveling south.
After a while, Flanders spoke, “I think that I want to quit my job, Cynthia.”
“The library job?” she asked.
“Yeah” he said.
“How come?” she asked.
“It’s not fun for me,” he said.
“I know what that’s like,” she said, knowing the stress that comes with working for a living.
“The very least of my problems is running behind the visitors and putting the books back on the shelves according to the Dewey Decimal System,” he said. “People don’t put things back where they
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belong.”
“You’re a great meticulous worker,” she said.
“I want to honor God in how I do my work for Him,” said Flanders. “But my colleagues do not feel the same way about their work. Even the workers put books in the wrong place, too.”
“Ah, the problems of being a Christian worker in an unsaved workplace,” said Cynthia, knowing how poorly the unsaved do their work. “We believers end up having to do our work and the lost workers’ work.”
“Born again employees care about their work. Employees that are not born again do not care about their work,” he said.
“Maybe God has something happier for you than being a librarian,” said Miss Burgher.
“I think that I will start praying for another job, to see if it is God’s will and to find out where it might be and what it might be,” said Flanders.
“Wherever the Lord has you to work, Flanders, be encouraged and content yourself with being in the Lord’s will, whether it be where you are now or whether it be somewhere else,” gave Cynthia Burgher good advice to Flanders.
“I am probably the only Christian working at this library,” he said. “That makes me a light for Jesus in a dark place.”
“Maybe God put you there to lead others to Christ,” she said.
“I have shared the Gospel to everyone there—even the boss,” he said.
“Do you have any ideas of what kind of work would make you happy?” his piggyback carrier asked him.
“I was thinking of a few things that would make a happy job for me,” he said.
“Like what?” she asked.
“Maybe at the dog pound,” he said.
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“Flanders, you love dogs,” she said.
“Especially big dogs at that, Cynthia,” he said.
“You cannot have a dog of your own, yourself being a tenant of an apartment,” she said.
“I don’t make enough to buy a house. Landlords don’t allow dogs. I don’t like cats,” he said in thoughtful introspection.
“The dog pound would be perfect for you,” she said.
“I would be happy to work forty hours a week taking care of dogs, Cynthia,” he said.
“Maybe at a happy workplace for you, those nasty little things that come with a job might not bring you down so as they do at your library, Flanders,” said Cynthia.
“Such good things to hear from you, girlfriend.” he said.
“Any other ideas for yourself, Flanders?” she asked.
“I could work in a small grocery store,” he said. “You work in a grocery store.”
“I know what working in a grocery store is like,” she said.
“Your grocery store is the biggest in Green Bay, Cynthia,” he said. “For myself, I might be happy working in a grocery store that could be like a ‘smallest grocery store in Green Bay.’”
“Is there such a grocery store around here in these days?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” he said. “I had a happy dream one night where I was working in an old-time grocery store that had only two or three employees for the whole store, O Cynthia.”
“What a tiny little grocery store, Flanders,” said the maillot woman.
“That it was, girl,” he said. “I would be happy working in a grocery store like that.”
“Sounds better to me than the one I am in now,” she said.
“I wonder if grocery stores of long, long ago, when they all had only a handful of employees, whether work there were stress-free,” he said in reverie.
“Sounds like a dream job for you, Flanders,” said Miss Burgher.
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“Literally and figuratively, Cynthia,” he said.
“Yeah!” she said. Then she asked, “Are there any other ideas that you might have got from God about jobs?”
“I could work at a place like Racine’s Office Supply Shop of an earlier time in my life,” he said.
“You used to write stories before you became a Christian,” she said.
“And Racine’s Office Supply Shop was just down the road from where I lived on Elm Street,” he said. “I think that it was on Main Street.”
“This store sounds like a heaven for a writer like yourself, Flanders,” said Cynthia.
“It was my paradise,” he said. “Pencils of all kinds of hardness of lead. Colored pencil cap erasers. Pads of lined yellow paper of wide rule. Manila filing folders. Big yellow envelopes. Report cover binders. Packages of typing paper. Electronic typewriter ribbons. Electronic typewriter eraser spools. Fine point pens of different colors. Packages of lined white paper of college rule. Erasers with the red half for pencils and with the gray half for pens. And everything else that an avid writer like myself would need for all of his short stories,” he said. “Even real neat templates.”
“That’s where you need to go to work everyday, Flanders,” said Cynthia.
He sighed and said, “So long ago. It’s long gone. He passed away. And the store is gone. And his inventory has thus been outdated by computers,” said Flanders.
“That sounds like that would have been the very best job for you to go to work every day for, Flanders,” said his maillot girlfriend.
“Well, maybe God might bring into my life an even happier thing to do for a living, O Cynthia,” he said, hoping faithfully in the Lord.
“God can do that,” she said.
“What about you?” asked Flanders. “What do you want to do every day for a living, Cynthia? I know how you want to get out of the retail business.”
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“For sure, Flanders,” she said. “My grocery store is so big that the building used to be a large department store before they came in.”
“It used to be a Shopko, an anchor of a shopping mall,” he said. “And now your grocery store is the anchor to the mall.”
“Lots of people—workers and customers and vendors everywhere,” she said. “And so much product.”
“The first day I went there to check it out, the first thing I thought was how much work must go into stocking all of those bottles and cans and boxes on all of those shelves,” he said.
“Imagine ringing them up as I do every day, as a cashier,” she said.
“Overwhelming,” he said.
“Too much,” she said.
“You might be happier doing something that is not so much the same thing day after day every day,” he said. “That can become a grind.”
“I want to do something that is unique,” she said.
“What do you think that you would like for a job?” he asked.
“Maybe women’s gymnastics,” said the maillot girl.
“Ah, the floor routine, the uneven parallel bars, the vault, the balance beam,” he said.
“You got it, boyfriend,” she said.
“That sounds a lot harder than being a checkout clerk, Cynthia,” he said. “In your search for a new job, would you be happy with a harder job than the one you have now?”
“It may be harder. Yes,” she said. “But it would be quite fun to go and do all of those tricks like that, and to train, and to get better.”
“Would you get used to wearing a long-sleeved gymnastics leotard?” he asked. “Every time I see you on our dates, you have on your fuchsia one-piece swimsuit,”
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“I would think that a gymnastics leotard would feel good on for a woman like me,” she said.
“I have watched women’s gymnastics on TV,” he said. “I have seen the N.C.A.A. championships and the national championships and the world championships and the Olympics. Would you like to compete in any of those, Cynthia?”
“I would, Flanders. But there is one problem,” she said.
“What is it?” he asked.
“Those gymnasts don’t get paid,” she said. “The women’s gymnastics that all the world knows about and that are all on TV and in arenas and all—those are amateur gymnasts. Even though these amateur women gymnasts are the best in the world, they don’t get paid.”
“Come to think about it, I never heard of professional gymnasts, Cynthia,” he said.
“I think that I’ll table any pursuits for gymnastics, Flanders,” she said in resignation.
“Maybe you can pursue a sport where a lady can get paid,” he said.
“Like women’s all-star wrestling,” she said.
“All-star wrestling is not real,” he said.
“But it pays the rent,” she said.
“Are you a good actor?” he asked about a career in professional wrestling.
“I can learn fast,” she said.
“You could be rich,” he said.
“I don’t want to be rich, so much as I want to have fun,” she said.
“I’d be your greatest fan,” he said.
“I’d be your favorite star,” she said.
“Would you want to be one of the ‘good girls’ or one of the ‘bad girls?’” he asked.
“Whichever one God would want me to be,” said Miss Burgher.
“You might not get to wear your maillot at work,” he said.
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“I don’t get to wear my maillot at work now,” she said. Both laughed.
“Any other ideas in your head about what a fun job might be for you?” asked Flanders.
“The ultimate women’s sport,” she said. “I could become a female boxer.”
“My girlfriend a boxer?” he asked.
“Do you like that idea, Flanders?” she asked.
“I like that idea for you the best of all three of your ideas, Cynthia,” he said.
“That might not pay as much as wrestling, but I don’t need a lot of money,” said Miss Burgher.
“But can you throw a punch?” he asked.
“Oh, your girlfriend can do that!” exclaimed Cynthia.
“But can you take a punch?” he asked.
She hesitated. Then she said, “I am not sure. I never got punched before.”
“Well, I heard that it hurts,” he said.
“Well, a boxing glove is padded, you know,” she said.
“A boxing glove could knock you out,” he said.
She thought for a while. Then she said, “I wonder what that would be like.”
“Getting knocked unconscious?” he asked.
“Yeah. Getting a KO or giving a KO,” she said in manifest reverie.
“You’ve got a strange fascination for that, Cynthia,” he said.
“Yeah. I think that I have,” she said.
“Sounds like a fetish has come upon you, girlfriend,” he said, caught up in her expression.
“Maybe God would let me become a woman boxer,” she said.
“It sounds to me like you found your dream job, Cynthia,” he said.
“We will have to see what God says,” she said.
“We might both find out at the end of our journey today what God will let you do for Him,” he
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said.
“And we will probably both find out what God wills for you for a job, too, Flanders,” said Cynthia Burgher, “when we get to the end of this Fox River Trail.”
As boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ continued their piggyback riding down this paved trail south, they began to talk about how they had first found Christ Jesus as Saviour.
This paragraph is Flanders’s testimony of salvation: When he was a little boy, in town there was a type of retail store called “Ralph’s” in a man’s basement. This Ralph sold Wieco pop and beer and penny candy. And Flanders went often to this place, coming through this man’s back door and going down the stairs and entering his basement. Here was all the penny candy a boy could want, all stocked on shelves. Flanders’s favorite penny candy was Kit candies, little taffy candies with four taffies wrapped up—peanut butter or strawberry or banana or chocolate. And this merchant sat there behind the checkout station all day and rarely stood up. Well, one day, the Wieco pop vendor came and delivered his load. Flanders thought to buy some Wieco pop. Ralph was once again sitting behind his cash register. Now little Flanders did not have his facts straight. And he asked Ralph if he could buy some orange juice. The pop company Wieco, of course, did not distribute orange juice. And in the end, Ralph convinced Flanders that he meant “orange soda.” What Flanders thought to call “orange juice,” was actually called “orange soda.” Wieco Pop definitely carried this. And Flanders went ahead and bought himself a bottle of orange soda. Flanders went on to say, “I like pop.”
And Ralph said, “I like beer.”
And the vendor said, “I like penny candy.” Then this same vendor said after that, “But I love Jesus.”
“I heard of Jesus at St. John the Baptist Catholic church,” said Flanders.
“That’s too bad,” said the pop vendor.
“How come, sir?” asked Flanders Nickels.
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“You won’t find the truth about Jesus in the Catholic church, young man,” said this vendor.
“Really?” asked Flanders.
“Nobody who believes what the Catholic church says about salvation is going to Heaven,” said this man.
“What does a person need to believe about salvation in order to go to Heaven?” asked Flanders.
“That salvation can only come through grace by faith through the shed blood of Jesus and through His glorious resurrection,” said this vendor.
“I heard that this Jesus is called ‘the Saviour of the world,’” said Flanders.
“He is my own personal Saviour,” said this man.
“Can He become my own personal Saviour, too?” asked Flanders.
“Yes. He can,” said this man.
“What do I do?” asked Flanders.
“Pray and accept God’s free gift of eternal life,” he told him.
“I want to do that,” said Flanders.
And right there, this outspoken and good born again pop vendor led little Flanders through a prayer line by line unto so great salvation. And that was how Flanders had become a born-again Christian.
This paragraph is Cynthia’s testimony of salvation: She, also. became born again as a child. Her family lived on Appleton Road. And there was a Red Owl grocery store two buildings down. There she bought licorice snaps in a little red box and ice cream sandwiches and ten-cent candy bars. She and her little brother each were given a green glass vase from their mom into which to put their money. Little Brother’s green vase had a cover. Cynthia’s green vase had an open top. And both vases were fashioned differently from each other. Well, little Cynthia wanted to go to Red Owl, and her many coins were in her vase. Mom did not give her carte blanche over her vase of money. She
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always had to ask Mom if she could take money from her vase. The vases were set upon the table side by side. And thoughts of a nice ice cream sandwich tempted her. And she went and grabbed her coins from her vase and sneaked over to Red Owl to do some surreptitious shopping without Mom’s permission. But before she came into the store, she saw the door open out back that led to a backroom. She had to see what this backroom looked like. And she looked in and saw lots of nice big cardboard boxes lying around in an otherwise empty room. She just had to play with these boxes. And she forgot about her shopping plans. And little Cynthia began to play among the boxes, all alone to herself. After a while, some stock boys came into this backroom through a pair of swinging doors, and they saw her there. At first they were startled, as was she. But right away one of them said to her, “You’re that little girl who lives almost right next door to this store. Aren’t you?”
“That’s me,” she said.
“Do you like our box room?” another one asked.
“It’s fun in here,” she said. Pointing to a big machine that lay beyond the boxes, she said, “What’s that?”
“It’s our baler,” said one of them.
“Can I show you how it works?” asked another.
And another went ahead and threw some boxes into this baler and turned it on and crushed the big boxes flat. “How’s that?” he asked.
“That’s neat,” said little Cynthia.
“Should we tell her about Jesus?” asked one of them.
“Jesus died for her, too,” said another.
“She has a soul that will live on in either Heaven or Hell,” said another.
“Little girl,” said the first one who had talked to her, “you’re yet a kid, and you have your whole life ahead of you. But did you ever think where you will be after you grow old and die?”
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“I did kind of steal money today before I came here,” she said.
“You did a bad thing,” said this young man.
“Does that mean that I have to go to Hell?” she asked.
“Yes. It does,” he said, “unless you receive Jesus as Saviour.”
“I don’t want to go to Hell. I want to receive Jesus as Saviour,” she said, fear of God in her heart.
“Would you let me lead you through a prayer that will make it so that you end up in Heaven when your time comes?” asked this stock boy.
“Yes,” she said. “Would you do that for me?”
And she repeated a prayer, line after line, after him. And when she was done, her soul was saved. That was how Cynthia Burgher had become a born-again believer.
As for the piggyback pair, now they were where the Fox River Trail ceased being paved and where it began being bare gravel. A rural road separated this part from that part. The trail, having branched off away from the Fox River some way far back, now had the river no where near in sight. They were in the middle of the countryside beyond De Pere. Even the many trail riders and walkers rarely came south on this Fox River Trail this far. The two were definitely all alone now. Cynthia, Flanders on her back in this very long piggy back ride, stopped to catch her breath.
“Are you all tired out, girl?” asked Flanders.
“I must have given you a piggyback ride for a good five miles,” she said.
“May I give you a piggyback ride for the next five miles?” he asked.
“I’d like that,” she said. He got down from the back of his one-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“Climb my back, and I will give my maillot girl the piggyback ride the rest of our way,” he said.
“This will fun, too, boyfriend,” she said. And she climbed up on Flanders’s back. “Oh, Flanders, the stones.” she said, looking ahead.
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“They won’t hurt my feet,” he said. “I have tough feet.”
“You are the only guy I know who walks barefoot all summer long all around town,” she said.
“You got to walk barefoot today on the pavement, and I get to walk barefoot today on the gravel,” he said.
And they began their piggyback ride now on the gravel portion of the Fox River Trail, going south still.
“I heard that there are strange folk here on the trail on this part of the road,” said Cynthia.
“Little people,” he said. “I heard about them.”
“I have never seen them. Nor have I gone out this far south on this trail, either,” she said.
“Same here. I have never seen them nor been here before, either,” he said.
“Are you afraid?” asked the one-piece swimsuit woman.
“Kind of,” he said.
And in silence the piggyback couple continued south, carrier and rider enjoying this good time together.
Just then Miss Burgher asked, “Flanders, do you hear something?”
He stopped and listened and stared up ahead on this trail.
“I think that I hear singing,” she said.
“I hear it, too,” he said. “It is like little girls singing,”
“It does not sound human,” she said.
He continued his walk south, his girlfriend still piggyback upon him.
There they were—little people, of great age and with little wings, each with a wand in her hand.
“Fairies!” sang out Miss Burgher.
And the fairies came up to them. There must have been a hundred of them. And they looked friendly. And they were singing what had to be a fairy song, whose words were not of humankind.
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They fluttered about. They hovered in the air. They danced about upon the earth. They sang a song of joy. They waved their little wands.
“Flanders, they surely come from God,” said Cynthia Burgher.
“That we do not know quite yet,” said Flanders.
“This Fox River Trail here is like a fairy tale,” she said.
“Where the prince and the princess live happily ever after?” asked Flanders.
“Surely,” said Cynthia.
“I prefer to be on guard,” he said.
“Is my boyfriend afraid of innocent little fairies?” she asked.
“Fairies are endowed with powers,” he said.
“But they look so good. Just hear their song. It takes one’s eyes off of the problems of the world,” she said.
“Indeed their song takes one’s eyes off of the Lord, Cynthia,” he warned her.
She reached out her hand toward the closest fairy. Flanders quickly reached out and grabbed her wrist of her outstretched arm and pulled it back.
“Be careful, girl,” he said. “Sometimes the demons appear as angels of light.”
Cynthia was upset at this. The fairy song continued. After a while, Cynthia said, “Let’s quit our journey and settle down here, Flanders. We can sing with the fairies.”
“We have a journey to make, Cynthia,” he said. “God has a place up ahead where He will answer our prayers. We both asked God what kind of job He wants for us, and He sent us down this trail to find out.”
“I don’t want to work,” she said. “I want to stay here forever.”
“You are rebelling against the will of God, Cynthia,” he said.
“These fairies can’t be what you say they are, Flanders,” she said, still riding his back.
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“I think that I ought to step it up and get away from them,” he said. “We must leave, Cynthia.”
He began to walk forward at a brisk step in his desire to get past them and beyond them. The maillot woman reached out her hand toward the now closest fairy, and she called out to her, “Good fairy.” Flanders did not see this to pull her hand back. The fairy then extended her wand and did touch Cynthia’s hand with it. Lo, Miss Burgher suddenly felt a shock of electricity shoot from her hand all the way up to her shoulder. Miss Burgher instantly cried out and brought her arm back into herself. The fairy’s wand did this to her. Even Flanders felt it.
“Cynthia, what happened?” he called forth in alarm.
She recovered from the nasty surprise, and she said, “I felt like I had touched an electric fence! I reached out to her wand, and she gave me a shock that nearly knocked me off of your back!”
“Cynthia, now that we are coming toward the end of our journey, it looks like the Devil is throwing roadblocks against us to keep us from getting there,” he said.
“Why, these are evil fairies,” she said.
“The closer that a Christian gets to fulfilling a great work of God, the more demons sent out by Satan to try to discourage the saint from finishing God’s work,” said Flanders.
“Let’s get out of here, Boyfriend,” she said. “I’m afraid of these little fairies.”
“Let’s run!” he said.
“Could I stay on your back, Flanders?” she asked. “I feel safer with you carrying me.”
“By all means stay on me,” he said. “I will run for the both of us.”
And with a word of prayer and with strong feet bones, Flanders fled from the fairies, with his girlfriend upon him. Several little electric shocks struck them as they ran through the host of fairies.
But they got to the other side, broke free, and fled. And the evil fairies did not pursue them where they ran. And after a while Flanders slowed down to a walk.
He stopped for a little rest. She regained her courage with her own word of prayer. And
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Flanders prayed, “Thank You for being with us in our trial, O Father.”
“I do not want to see another fairy again, Flanders,” declared the maillot girl upon his back.
“Knowing the way that the Devil works, Cynthia, the next thing that he might send our way might be worse,” said Flanders.
“I did not think that the Devil would get involved in our fun walk today,” she said.
“He is our greatest enemy, ourselves being Christians,” said Flanders.
“I don’t know about you, Flanders, but I’m glad that we have Jesus on our side,” said Cynthia.
And he then continued onward, his one-piece swimsuit girlfriend riding him yet piggyback-style.
They continued onward for a long time, uninterrupted in peace and calm. Then Miss Burgher spoke and said, “Maybe nobody’s coming, Flanders.”
“Don’t bet on that,” he said.
“It’s been a long time and I still see no one coming from up ahead,” she said.
“Don’t let the Devil fool you with a false peace, Cynthia,” said Flanders.
“It’s like Satan forgot about us,” said Cynthia.
Just then a sound of a whizzing passed by just overhead.
“What on earth was that?” asked Flanders.
“Something just missed my head!” she cried out.
“That nearly hit me!” he exclaimed.
He and she quickly whirled around to see what had just went past them and where it ended up. There it was, stuck in a tree trunk.
“Is that an arrow, Flanders?” she asked.
“It is,” he said. “That is a real arrow,” he said. He quickly whirled back around to face the front to see if he could see who fired this artillery at them.
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Behold, up ahead a lone figure stepping out from behind a tree, holding a bow and arrow and having a quiver of arrows along his back.
“Isn’t that an elf, Flanders?” asked Cynthia Burgher.
“He nearly got the both of us in our heads with one arrow,” said Flanders.
“He is all alone up ahead there,” said the maillot girlfriend.
That solitary elf archer stood defiantly in their way, himself only a hundred feet away. He neither advanced nor retreated. He neither spoke nor showed expression. He did not even draw a second arrow from his quiver to nock it in his bowstring.
“Flanders, maybe we should call upon God and run after him,” said Cynthia.
“And what would we gain if we run after him?” asked Flanders.
“We can make him go away, and we can then continue our journey to the end of this trail,” she said.
“You suggest that we go and charge an armed elf archer?” he asked.
“He is by himself,” said the woman. “This time we do not have a whole bunch of foes blocking our way like last time with the fairies.”
“Elves are clever little people,” Flanders said.
“I won’t have an elf keeping me from getting my prayers answered at the end of the trail,” said Cynthia. She began to climb down Flanders’s back.
“You best stay up on my back, so I can protect you, girlfriend,” warned Flanders.
She hesitated, then submitted to her boyfriend. She climbed back up upon his back.
Suddenly that tree that this elf had stepped out from behind now began to shake in all of its branches. Man and woman could both see this.
“Flanders, what’s with that tree there by the elf?” called out Miss Burgher.
Just then elves began to jump down from the tree by the dozens. They landed upon the ground
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in full archery attire. Boyfriend and girlfriend watched this as it began and ended. And after a short while, a veritable elf army stood there on their trail, balking the progress of the piggyback couple.
“So many elves, Flanders,” cried out Cynthia.
He counted them quickly in groups of three, came up with thirty-three and one-third groups of three, and declared, “A hundred of them, Cynthia.”
“What can two people do against a hundred elves?” she asked Flanders.
“For starters, we can pray,” he said.
“Then what?” she asked.
“Then trust in God,” he said.
Then the one hundred elves drew their arrows from their quivers, nocked them on their bowstrings, and drew back their bowstrings, and aimed.
“Flanders, they’re shooting at us!” exclaimed the maillot woman.
“Hold on tight, Cynthia,” he said. “We must face them and pass through them and leave them behind,”
“I’m afraid,” she said.
“Cover your eyes,” he said in earnest.
And with a word of prayer, Flanders then marched toward them with Cynthia on his back and her one arm around his neck and her other hand over her eyes. His eyes open on elves and God, he saw the one hundred arrows all fired at once by the little devils. Behold, all one hundred arrows missed their marks!
And in disarray the one hundred elves panicked when Flanders and his girlfriend came in upon their phalanx. And the elves fled from the two Christians, and they ran on by and kept running.
Cynthia and Flanders turned back. She uncovered her eyes. He said, “Praise Jesus!” Behold, the whole elf army long gone back where the two Christians had come from.
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“What happened, Flanders?” asked Miss Burgher, mystified.
“Christ has given us the victory,” said Flanders Nickels.
“I know that God will not let them come back and bother us again,” said the maillot woman.
“Now that’s the faith that I want to see in my girlfriend-in-the-Lord,” said Flanders.
The two piggyback-ride people now turned back to the south once again to continue their pilgrimage. The woman was still riding the man.
“Shall we proceed, milady?” asked Flanders.
“Let us, O boyfriend,” agreed Cynthia Burgher.
And they resumed their trek for God.
“How are your bare feet doing on the loose gravel, Flanders?” asked Cynthia after a long while.
“I think that they feel pretty good,” he said. He tested them by slamming his feet upon the stones, first one, then the other. “Yep. I feel quite fine yet,” he said, reassured.
“What’s coming next to test us, Flanders?” she asked.
“You mean from the Devil?” he asked.
“Uh huh,” she said.
“When it comes to Satan’s temptations, the best thing we can do is to focus on God and not on the Devil,” said Flanders Nickels.
“’And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil:…’ Matthew 6:13,” she recited Scripture.
“Amen!” said Flanders.
Just then there came to their ears a distant thumping from up ahead on the trail.
“Is that thunder that I hear?” asked Cynthia.
“I hear it, too,” he said.
“Maybe it’s a little earthquake underground,” she said.
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“It’s coming toward us,” he said.
“People ride their horses on this part of the trail,” said Miss Burgher. “Maybe it’s a whole bunch of people riding a whole bunch of horses.”
“It’s not horses, Cynthia,” he said.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Do you see them now?” he asked.
“Dwarfs.” she exclaimed, seeing them now.
“With battle-axes,” he did say.
Man and woman said no more as they watched the dwarfs march in military formation. They were in ten rows and ten columns, each containing ten dwarfs with their battle-axes.
“One hundred,” said Flanders.
“Again,” said the maillot gal.
Both sides soon stood before each other. The dwarfs now massed their troops in a single-file line one hundred broad from side to side. Flanders and Cynthia stood alone, still piggyback style.
“Their axes are so sharp,” said the one-piece swimsuit woman, “but they will not harm us.”
“Our God is sharper,” said Flanders.
“And their battle-axes look quite heavy,” she said. “but they will not hurt us.”
“Our God is heavier,” said Flanders Nickels.
“There are lots of them,” the woman said, “but with God we two are in the majority, Boyfriend,” she said.
“Woman, take heed,” he just then went on to say to her. “Sometimes God has His children to go through the valley of the shadow of death.”
“Surely God will protect us,” said Cynthia. “We will get out of this unharmed. We did so the last two times,”
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“You and I enjoy living for Christ,” he said to her. “But are you and I willing to die for Christ?”
“But that’s not how it is supposed to be for us two, Flanders,” she said.
“It was that way for Stephen, history’s first Christian martyr,” he said.
“Flanders, you’re talking differently now,” said the piggyback rider girl.
“I am willing to die for the Lord, if it means that He gets the glory,” declared Flanders.
“Not me!” she said. “Everything bad is happening all at once.”
“If you are not for God, you are against God,” he said to her.
“I am afraid,” she said.
“Will you go with me through this valley, Cynthia?” he asked.
“No, Flanders,” she cried out.
“Then I must ask you to get off of my back,” he said.
“I cannot betray my boyfriend,” she said.
“Are you choosing to betray the Lord?” he asked her point-blank.
“I have never betrayed the Lord before,” she cried out.
“You are betraying the Lord right now,” he proclaimed.
She squeezed her arms and her legs around her human protector and prayed, “God help me my lack of faith.”
“Are you willing to die for the Lord?” he asked her.
Their Baptist pastor often preached that dying for a Christian was like going to sleep and waking up in Heaven.
“Make up your mind right now, woman,” said Flanders. “Either get off of me now and run back and save your life. Or stay on my back and let us march against the dwarfs and their axes and probably lose our lives.”
“I shall not get down off of your back, Flanders,” she dared to say.
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“Is that a promise to Jesus?” he asked her.
“I shall stay on your back,” she promised.
And Flanders Nickels prayed to the Lord, “Your will be done, O God, unto me and unto Cynthia alike.”
And Flanders said to the dwarfs with their battle axes, “Come and get us, you malevolent dwarfs sent by Satan.”
Behold, the dwarfs spoke, saying, “If God be for you, who can be against you?”
And they began to swing their battle-axes about in the air above their heads. And as they thus brandished their weapons, they came up to the two, walked by the two, and went past the two, and continued onward behind them, on toward the north, not coming back to tempt them again.
“We live,” said Cynthia.
“We have been spared by the mercy of God,” said Flanders.
“Heaven will have to wait,” she said about her thoughts of coming Home to be with Christ.
“We have work to do with God yet in this life,” said Flanders.
“And, Boyfriend, God has an answer to our prayers that He wants for us to hear,” said the piggyback woman.
“What kinds of jobs that He has for us to come to work to and be happy,” he said.
“God works in mysterious ways,” said Miss Burgher.
Both could tell that there would be no more trials to face on today’s pilgrimage. God had tested them three times, and they both passed all three tests to the satisfaction of the Judge of all the Earth.
“My feet are getting sore now, girlfriend,” said Flanders.
“You have given me my piggyback ride on the gravel stones as far and for as long as I gave you your piggyback ride on the smooth blacktop,” she said.
“We are almost there now,” he said to her.
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Sharing his joy in the Lord and understanding his fatigue from the long ride, the piggyback woman now got down from off of his back. She exercised her legs as she paced around on the stones.
He raised one foot and felt that with his hand. He raised the other foot and felt that with his hand. He was good to go now with no further woman upon him.
“That was fun,” he said, “our piggyback riding.”
“It was the most fun we had yet in any of our dates, Flanders,” she said.
“We’ll have to do that again,” he said.
“Yes,” she said. “And next time without all of this action.”
“Yeah!” he said.
“Amen,” she said.
“That which we came for, I can tell, is just up ahead,” he said.
“This is getting really good, Boyfriend,” she said.
He proffered his hand. She took his hand in her hand. And hand-in-hand boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-the-Lord walked on farther to see what was ahead for them at the end of this Fox River Trail here in the pastoral countryside where no one else was.
Behold, a great fog drifting in upon this trail just up ahead.
Cynthia, with Holy Ghost wisdom, said, “This fog comes from God, Flanders.”
With even greater such Holy Spirit wisdom, Flanders said, “God is in this fog, Cynthia.”
“The real Good Lord,” said Miss Burgher.
“We have come to the end of our pilgrimage,” said Flanders.
And the two on a trek stood still, advanced no farther, spoke not, waited upon the Lord. Then a voice of final Authority spoke and said, “Welcome, Flanders, Cynthia. Well done, the two of you. You have endured three tests of fire and have come out refined.” This voice was as the sound of many waters. They could see no Personage in the fog for its thickness. But they knew Who was there.
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Then the mysterious Sovereign spoke and called forth, “Flanders.”
“Your servant hears,” said Flanders in reverence.
“Come forth and approach Me,” said this Supreme.
Flanders left his girlfriend and walked out into the fog. She was left waiting behind for now. But her turn would come next.
Behold, in the fog, One like unto the Angel of the Lord in all His Deity! Flanders fell down and worshipped Him. He saw God sitting upon His throne, and he yet lived.
“My Lord and my God!” called forth Flanders. “I am unclean before God Almighty!”
“Be you clean,” commanded the Angel of the Lord. And the Lord put His hand upon the kneeling man’s head, and he was made clean to be before the Lord.
The Angel of the Lord then asked him, “What would you like to do for a living if you are no longer a librarian, O Flanders?”
“I know not, Lord,” said Flanders. “But You know.”
“I know. Soon you will know, too, My son,” said the Angel of the Lord.
Then the Angel of the Lord began an interview of questions for Flanders to answer for himself. First He asked, “What do you like best about Miss Cynthia Marguerite Burgher?”
“Her Holy Spirit within, that is the essence of her life as a Christian,” said Flanders.
“Indeed My Holy Spirit does make Miss Burgher most of what she is, My son.” said the Angel of the Lord. “Her bond with the Holy Spirit makes her among the most faithful of My daughters. And that makes her the one girl that I would have only for you, O Flanders.” But then the Angel of the Lord said to him, “But think further, My son.” Apparently Flanders’s sincere answer to the question asked by the Angel of the Lord must have been the wrong answer.
Flanders pondered longer. What did he love about his girlfriend-in-Christ more than any other thing which he loved about her?
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And he gave a second answer to the Lord’s query, saying, “Maybe it is her good morals. I know with Cynthia Burgher as my girlfriend, that I will never be tempted to commit any immorality with her.
She would have nothing to do with that. And that is not what I seek with her.”
The Angel of the Lord spoke in reply and said, “Such is the good and true testimony of Cynthia.
And such is the truth in your heart. But it is the wrong answer. Think again. Ponder. What is your most personal attraction for the young woman?”
There was still something about Miss Burgher that most drew her to him. He ruminated more upon her Christian walk in her life to find the right answer before the Angel of the Lord. Then he surmised out loud, “It must be our great fellowship that we have together, Lord. What can be more fun for boyfriends-and-girlfriends-in-Christ than to pray together in a prayer circle and to read the King James Bible together at the park and to go to the Baptist church together when its doors are open for services?”
Then the Angel of the Lord spoke and said, “Few among Christendom love worship as much as you and Cynthia do, My son. And the fellowship that you and Cynthia share in Me every day truly reaches Me on My throne way up in Heaven.” He paused, then said, “Flanders Nickels, you are denying the obvious answer with your thinking too hard.”
“It has to be something obvious, Good Lord,” said Flanders.
“What is the first thing that you notice about her when you first see her coming on all of your dates together?” asked the Angel of the Lord.
“I always check out what she is wearing that day,” said Flanders.
“What is your favorite outfit that she has on among all of her outfits on all of your dates?” asked the Angel of the Lord.
“Why, that would have to be what she has on again on this day’s walk, Lord,” said Flanders.
“And what might that be?” asked the Angel of the Lord rhetorically.
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“Why, that would be her magenta one-piece swimsuit,” said Flanders.
“Is that not what makes Cynthia Marguerite Burgher so special to you, good Flanders?” asked the Angel of the Lord. It was. God was right. And he confessed so.
And the Angel of the Lord said, “Now go and make maillots for a living, My son, and you will be happy at work.” Then the Angel of the Lord bade Flanders to step back out of the fog and make way for Cynthia’s turn with Him. And Flanders rejoined his maillot girlfriend and could see the Angel of the Lord no more for the fog.
Then the Angel of the Lord called forth, “Cynthia.”
“Speak, Lord, Your servant hears,” said Cynthia Burgher.
“Come into the fog and do see My face, My daughter,” He said.
She came into the fog, and she saw God on His throne, and she fell down before Him on her knees and did tremble for fear.
The Angel of the Lord said in compassion, “Fear not, good Cynthia. I have good questions and good answers to make you happy and joyful.”
“I thank You, O Angel of the Lord,” said Cynthia. And her trembling ceased when the peace of God flowed into her. Calm in the Lord she awaited His Words.
“I shall now answer your prayers for a good job for yourself that is in My will,” said the Angel of the Lord. “I will tell you of a career more happy for you than that of being a cashier.”
“You shall tell me a secret that has eluded me for years, O Lord,” she said.
“You shall tell yourself this day, My faithful daughter,” promised the Angel of the Lord. And he began a round of introspective questions to Miss Burgher. “What do you like to do best with your boyfriend?”
“I think that it is our prayer meetings we have in the park,” she said. “We have a favorite park in town by the river. We go to the wooded area, find a picnic table, sit down on it side-by-side, and we
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make a prayer group—Flanders and I together. We like to do that especially in the late nights. He goes first for at least a half-hour of prayer out loud. Then I go second for at least a half-hour of prayer out loud. As much as I love to pray alone to You, I love the most to pray with Flanders to You.”
“Indeed such is your favorite fellowship among all of your fellowships with your good boyfriend-in-the-Lord,” said the Angel of the Lord. “But that does not answer the question with all due truth unto all-knowing God.”
“Is there something else that I like to do better with Flanders, O Lord?” asked Miss Burgher in sincerity.
“When you find out for yourself you will say, ‘Of course. Why didn’t I think of that?’” said the Angel of the Lord.
“Maybe it is my Bible studies with Flanders at the park,” she said. “We tell each other some of our favorite Scripture verses that we found in our private Bible studies, and we memorize them together at the picnic tables there. Time goes by so fast when Flanders and I memorize Scripture together.”
“There is joy in reading My Word, and there is joy in hiding My Word in your heart,” the Angel of the Lord praised Cynthia. “But that does not fulfill for me the answer that I need you to find.”
“Something more fun between a girlfriend-and-boyfriend-in-Christ than praying together and studying the Bible together?” she asked. “Would that be church?”
“Do you love going to church with your Christian boyfriend?” asked the Angel of the Lord.
“Yes! Yes!” she said. “Flanders and I are both fundamental Baptists. We both love church. Too bad that I cannot wear my one-piece swimsuit to church.”
“My good lady, we are drawing nigh to the answer,” he said.
“Is it something to do with our Baptist church, Lord?” asked Miss Burgher.
“No. It is not. But going to church will have its eternal rewards in Heaven to come for you,”
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promised the Angel of the Lord.
“What might it be?” she asked.
“Do you love to go on walks with Flanders?” asked the Angel of the Lord.
“Like walking just to walk?” she asked.
“Verily, My lady,” said the Angel of the Lord.
“I do that with Flanders every day at six o’clock in the evening without fail,” she said.
“Did you ever skip any of these walks?” asked the Angel of the Lord.
“Never. Not even when I was sick,” she said. “How I enjoy walking with Flanders.”
“Do you put any thing comfortable on just to please Flanders?” asked the Angel of the Lord.
“I almost always put on my fuchsia one-piece swimsuit, Lord,” she answered. She looked at her belly, and ran her hand across her midsection. “Which is what I have on right now,” she added.
“Do you dress up in your maillot to look good for your boyfriend?” asked the Angel of the Lord.
“For sure, O Lord,” said Cynthia.
“Any other reason in addition to that?” asked the Angel of the Lord.
“I dress up in this maillot also because I want to look good to everybody who might see me,” said Miss Burgher, in her glorifying the simple garment called “the one-piece swimsuit.”
“Do you look good to everybody?” asked the Angel of the Lord.
“I hope so,” she said. “I don’t rightly know if I a have good swimsuit figure, but I sure want everybody to see my swimsuit.”
“Why do you love showing off your swimsuit if you are not sure that you look good in it?” asked the Angel of the Lord.
“Because I want to show the world the wondrous wonders of what maillots are to me,” said the one-piece swimsuit woman.
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“My daughter, go now and model one-piece swimsuits for a living,” answered the Angel of the Lord her prayers. “Go and do that, and you will be happy at work all the days of your life.”
“Good Angel of the Lord, thank You,” she said, and she got up and bowed her head in obeisance to Him.
“Live on and rejoice in joy, My good daughter,” said the Angel of the Lord.
And suddenly the Lord and the throne and the fog were no longer here. Flanders and Cynthia were alone together again. Flanders knew that her dream job awaited her. And Cynthia knew that his dream job awaited him.
Flanders put his arm around the waist of his one-piece swimsuit girlfriend. The one-piece swimsuit girlfriend put her arm around Flanders’s waist. And they walked side-by-side in blessed blissful silence all the rest of the way back to the Claude-Allouez Bridge.
Behold, an accident that had happened here when they were walking south on their way to the Lord. Off to the north of this big bridge there had been an explosion from a natural gas pipe underground. Ambulances and paramedics and sick people were all about. Flanders and Cynthia, safe and in no danger now, looked at each other. Both remembered how God’s protecting Holy Spirit had told the piggyback riders definitely to not take their romance north on this Fox River Trail. God knew that this would happen, and He made sure nothing would happen to His two piggyback riders. They had gone south, found their futures as happy employees, and came back and saw what happened to people less fortunate than themselves. They praised God for so great deliverance.
Right away Flanders got a job as a maillot designer at a company called, “Maillots, Incorporated.” And right away Cynthia got a job as a swimsuit model at a company called, “One-Piece Swimsuit Designs.” Flanders actually enjoyed going to work now five days a week and eight hours a day. And Cynthia lived for work at her forty-hour workweek now. He brought home his sample swimsuits for her, and she tried them on every one just to model them for her boyfriend. And she
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showed him the swimsuits that her boss had for her for her career. And boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ continued on in their lives together, loving life at their workplaces and loving life of worship at their homes.
But God desired even happier things for His one-piece swimsuit maker and His one-piece swimsuit model. Flanders soon moved on from Maillots, Incorporated and became his own boss. Likewise did Cynthia move on from One-Piece Swimsuit Designs and began working for herself.
And they formed a partnership, working together at their new company—”Spandex, International.” Flanders Nickels made the maillots, and Cynthia Burgher modeled them. And they were happy together making and modeling one-piece swimsuits and sharing fellowship and romancing in walks and dates together and making Christ the Lord of their lives.
This they did for the next ten years.
Then one day, the Lord called them back to the Claude-Allouez Bridge. They did not know why they were to go there. They simply obeyed God and went. They had indeed been here at the Fox River Trail under the bridge lots since that day that God answered their prayers. But this time God went out of His way to have them come back here again this day. And they stood here under the bridge, wondering what great things that God might have for them.
Flanders said to Cynthia, “You look great again, girl.”
“So do you, Flanders,” she said.
“I see that you have on my first maillot that I made,” he said.
“Uh huh,” she said. “A very pretty magenta.”
This one was the exact same kind as the one she had on from the store that fateful day their prayers were answered.
“A very pretty swimsuit on a very pretty woman,” he said.
“Why do you think that God called the both of us here, Flanders?” asked Miss Burgher.
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“I do not know,” he said.
“Whatever He has for us, it will be grand,” she said.
“Maybe He will answer some of our prayers again,” he said.
“Flanders, you and I have had more happiness these last ten years than most Christians get their whole lives,” said Cynthia Burgher.
“We two believers are the happiest of people,” he said.
“God has been making me to think about Heaven, Flanders,” said Cynthia.
“I’ve been thinking about Heaven, also,” said Flanders.
“Heaven is the Place of perfect happiness,” said Miss Burgher.
“It is a better Place than right here,” said Flanders.
“Do you think that young women will get to wear one-piece swimsuits in Heaven?” she asked.
“I can envision you in your maillot standing upon the Elysian Shores, Cynthia,” he said.
“Flanders, let’s go piggyback riding,” she said.
“We have not done that for so long, girl,” he said. “How could we have forgotten?”
“We have lived a lifetime without having done that,” said Cynthia.
“We were having our fun at work,” he said.
“How I long for a Place where we can go piggyback riding in romance all over again, Flanders,” said the maillot woman. “Our Forever Place to come.”
“Shall we go piggyback riding down here right now, my good woman?” asked Flanders. “We are not too old yet to do that in this life.”
And the one-piece swimsuit woman climbed up upon his back, and she put her arms around his neck, and she bent her legs at the knees, and she proffered her legs to his carrying arms.
“Let’s go south, Boyfriend,” sang out Cynthia in joy of the Lord.
“South we shall go, O my girlfriend,” said Flanders in rejoicing with her.
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They turned toward the south on this walking trail.
Just then a still small voice spoke into their ears, saying to them, “My children, do not go south.”
Flanders and Cynthia did not proceed now toward the south.
“Flanders, we are not supposed to go south this time,” said Cynthia.
Flanders turned, and both looked toward the north.
The still small voice spoke into their ears again, saying to them, “My children, do go north.”
“Flanders,” she said, “this time we are supposed to go north.”
Silence and thoughts came upon the two.
And then the piggyback ride couple began to proceed north on this Fox River Trail, coming immediately to the bridge above; and they proceeded to walk underneath the bridge, as God willed.
Just then an earthquake shook the ground of De Pere. The ground quaked under the feet of Flanders. The bridge was broken up. And big chunks of concrete fell down upon the piggyback pair.
And they perished.
And their prayers were answered: they were now with the Good Lord Jesus Up in the Glories of Heaven.
And Cynthia Marguerite Burgher was still dressed in her magenta one-piece swimsuit.
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