Flanders Nickels, a man with one-piece swimsuit to give to the first girl who would become his girlfriend, prays for a girl to come into his life whom he could lead to the Lord. Behold, a knock on his apartment door. Lo, a pretty one-piece swimsuit girl who asks him about Christ. Her name is Amanda Sleek Maillot. Flanders begins to preach salvation to her. But her big brother named Bourse comes along and stirs up trouble in Flanders’s efforts to get her saved.
THE EIGHTEEN-YEAR-OLD GIRL
Mr. Morgan P. McCarthy
Flanders Nickels was at his desk in his bedroom reading again from his King James Bible. He loved to search the Scriptures daily. To the left of his desk was an extra wooden chair upon which he had his cup of hot cocoa to drink as he studied the Bible. To the right of his desk was another extra wooden chair upon which he had his one-piece swimsuit to look at as he studied the Word of God.
The Bible belonged to God and to His time in Flanders’s life. The cocoa belonged to Flanders as a gift from God in his worship life. And the one-piece swimsuit, he daydreamed, would belong to a special girl to come into his life someday. This was his daily life for a couple hours every day in his bedroom alone with God around this time—sunrise.
The Holy Bible he had bought at a Christian bookstore in Ashwaubenon. It was a King James Version—the only perfect Bible. And it was white, hardcover, and with the correct sized print for his eyes—neither small type nor giant print—just in between. Right now he was comparing Scripture with Scripture, reading about the day of the Lord in three parallel passages in the three books of Matthew
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and Mark and Luke, the synoptic Gospels. The Gospel of John did not have a parallel to this passage. It is written in Matthew 24:29-31 about this Second Coming, “Immediately after the tribulation of those days shall the sun be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light, and the stars shall fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens shall be shaken: And then shall appear the sign of the Son of man in heaven: and then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn, and they shall see the Son of man coming in the clouds of heaven with power and great glory. And he shall send his angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they shall gather together his elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.” Again it is written about this same Second Coming in Mark 13:24-27, “But in those days, after that tribulation, the sun shall be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light. And the stars of heaven shall fall, and the powers that are in heaven shall be shaken. And then shall they see the Son of man coming in the clouds with great power and glory. And then shall he send his angels, and shall gather together his elect from the four winds, from the uttermost part of the earth to the uttermost part of heaven.” And it is written differently about the Second Coming in Luke 21:25-27 thus: “And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring; Men’s hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth: for the powers of heaven shall be shaken. And then shall they see the Son of man coming in a cloud with power and great glory.”
These three verses were all about the Second Advent of Christ. And Flanders needed not to worry, nor did he worry. Why? Because he was already a born-again Christian. Himself saved from his sins, he would be safe in Heaven when these bad things were to happen to Earth. These cataclysms and more would strike the earth in a time called the “Tribulation.” And all born-again believers were promised to be raptured up to Heaven before the Tribulation happened. And all of the lost would be left behind in the instant of the rapture to face life in this Tribulation—Earth’s darkest time. And Flanders knew that this Second Advent, narrated in these three Bible passages, was to take place at the
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end of the tribulation. Christ was coming back then to set up His glorious Millennial Reign on Earth. And the born-again believers, already in Heaven, like Flanders—could come back home to a wonderful and good Earth of the Thousand-Year Reign of Christ.
But right now Flanders was still in the church age, and he had to wait yet for the rapture to happen, an event that only God the Father knew when it would happen for sure.
He then leaned over to his left toward his cup of cocoa on that chair. He reached out and stirred it about with his spoon in it, raised it to his mouth, and drank another swallow from it. “Thank You, Lord, for my cocoa,” he did pray, and he set it back down upon the chair. This was a baking cocoa—famous for its brown and silver label. That is, it was unsweetened cocoa. And he always sweetened his mug of this cocoa with three sugar cubes—after having already put in a spoonful of powder coffee creamer into his cocoa. This was regular cocoa, but he liked the special dark cocoa from the same company even better. That one he would have next time. With a fondness he hugged this little cocoa canister and did kiss the box of sugar cubes and the bottle of creamer. And he said about his special cocoa spoon, “Thank You, Lord, for my favorite spoon.” He then put the cocoa canister back on the chair next to the mug of cocoa.
Then he looked toward the chair on his right, upon the sexy maillot. This one-piece swimsuit was less important to him than was the Bible, but was more important to him than was his hot cocoa. It was a black and yellow one-piece swimsuit, full of Spandex and full of nylon. It was a women’s size fourteen. He did not know anything about women’s swimwear sizes. It looked to him to be for a woman taller than himself. It had all started for him one day at Younker’s. He decided to go up the escalator to see what was on the second floor of this department store. And when he got there and stepped off of the escalator, there they were—swimsuits for women. One-piece swimsuits and two-piece swimsuits were on racks everywhere in a brand new place that Flanders had never been before in his days at the malls. He decided to stay around and to look around. And as he looked around, he
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came to liking these swimming suits. And then he saw a one-piece swimsuit that grabbed his eye It was one with lots of black and with a good amount of yellow. He wanted this one. He needed this one. He bought this one. He had to save this one for the right girl to come into his life someday were God to bless him with such a maillot-girlfriend. And here it was, upon his chair, right close to his desk. In reliving his first day home with his coveted new maillot, he now again took a look at the tags within. This fetish of a garment was made by a company called “Studio Works.” It was made in the country of the Dominican Republic. It read a big number “14.” And was made of 80% nylon/20% Spandex. And there were washing instructions. So much information about so exciting an outfit on just a few tags sewn within along the left side of the left cup. Sheepish about being a man buying a women’s swimming suit, he said not a word to the lady cashier. And he got it safely home, and he put it by its shoulder straps upon the only hook that he had in his closet. And he smelled it and discovered the fresh new aroma that could only be new Spandex. And that night, Flanders Nickels began to pray that God give him a pretty Christian girlfriend who could fit into this pretty maillot.
And here he was now, at this desk weeks later, and God had not yet answered his prayer. He then got up from this Bible-reading place, and he knelt beside his bed, upon his pillow, which was his praying place. And he thought to pray again that God bring him an attractive born-again girlfriend who would look good in his new one-piece swimsuit. But then the Holy Spirit reminded him of the day of the Lord that he had just read about in the Gospels. And the Holy Spirit reminded him that there were souls to win for Christ out there here in this church age. And Flanders Nickels, moved by the Holy Spirit found himself saying now instead, “Father, I pray that you bring a maillot girl into my life who is lost and who needs to be saved, before it is forever too late for her.”
Just then he thought that he heard the sound of a continuous tapping downstairs below. He listened. It kept on. It sounded like it might be someone tapping on the door of this little two-story duplex. He listened for a moment. It couldn’t be Dad, having come on his motorcycle; Dad always
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came up the stairs to his apartment door at the top to knock. It couldn’t be Mom, having come on the city bus; Mom always rang the doorbell down below. It couldn’t be Little Brother, having come in his Jeep; he always used the door knocker down there. Maybe it was the girl from God! The tapping continued very softly, and Flanders jumped up from his prayer place and ran to his apartment door and raced down the stairs and opened the building’s door.
Behold, a beautiful and tall and slender young lady in the exact same one-piece swimsuit that he had!
Delightfully unsure and hesitant about herself, despite her beauty and form and maillot, this girl said, “Excuse me, sir. Do you live here?”
‘I do!” he said. “Can I help you in God?”
“I saw your little sign here on the door out here,” she said.
He looked at this sign. He knew what it said. And he went on to read, “’…: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.’ Joshua 24:15.”
“Sir, do you know God?” she asked.
“I do, Miss. I am a born-again believer in Christ,” he said. Did God bring this exciting girl to him to lead to the Saviour? It was too good to be happening! He had been praying about this just a moment ago in his prayer room.
“I was on a walk to find the Lord,” she said. “And then I saw your Bible verse on this door. I read it once, then again, then again. I was hoping that you were a born-again person. Born-again people know the Lord better than anyone does.”
In joy and in rejoicing, Flanders said, “God brought you here.”
“My name is ‘Amanda,’” she said.
“My name is ‘Flanders,’” he said.
“My full name is ‘Amanda Sleek Maillot,’” she said.
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“A name as pretty as your suit, Amanda,” he said.
“Why, thank you, Flanders,” she said. “It’s my birthday today.”
“How old is the birthday girl?” he asked her.
“I turn eighteen years old today,” said Miss Maillot.
Lo, the eighteen-year-old girl.
“Happy Birthday, Amanda,” he said.
And Amanda Maillot went on to say, “What does an eighteen-year-old girl like myself need to do to get saved, O Flanders?”
All of a sudden Flanders’s golden opportunity to lead “his one-piece swimsuit girlfriend” to so great salvation was upon him right now! God acted fast in answering his prayers. Praise the Lord!
And he began at once to share the plan of salvation with Miss Maillot in her maillot. He stepped out now and stood upon the front stoop of his building where she was. And he said, “Amanda, the first thing that you need to do is to admit that you are a sinner.”
“Oh, I know about sin, Flanders,” said Miss Amanda Maillot. “I do that lots!” She paused, then said, “And one of them is disobeying Mom and Dad. When they tell me to do my homework, I go shopping at the mall instead. They find out, and they punish me. But then I go and do the same thing next time around all over again. That’s breaking one of the ten commandments. Isn’t it, Flanders?”
“The fifth commandment,” he said, “’Honour thy father and thy mother:…’”
“See? I’m bad,” said Miss Maillot.
He then said, “The second thing that you need to do is to confess the Gospel.”
“The Gospels,” she said. “I know about them: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.”
“Not the Gospels, but, rather, the Gospel,” he said. “Also called ‘the saving Gospel’ or the ‘Gospel of salvation.’”
“What’s the Gospel,” she asked, stating the singular form now. “that I must confess?”
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“The eternal truths that Jesus Christ the Lord shed His blood and died for our sins on the cross of Calvary and that He rose again from the dead on the third day in the Easter miracle,” said Flanders Nickels.
“I heard of that, Flanders,” said the eighteen-year-old girl. “What person in America has not heard that?’
“That’s good, Amanda,” he said. “Now you have to move it from your head down to your heart,”
“I can see now that the Lord Jesus did that just for me,” said Miss Maillot, confessing the Gospel now with both her lips and with her heart. “God died for me, and God arose from the grave for me.”
“That’s very good,” said Flanders. “And now the third and last thing for you to do to become a born-again believer is to simply reach out and accept the free gift of eternal life that Jesus is holding out for you to take right now.”
“How does an eighteen-year-old girl do something so big from Someone so great?” she asked.
“All that you have to do is to pray and ask God to save you,” said Flanders.
“That’s it?” asked Amanda Maillot.
“That’s it,” he said. “Salvation can only come to a girl, or a guy, by grace through faith.”
“That’s the best news that I heard in my eighteen years, Flanders,” said Miss Maillot.
“Do you believe all that I had told you this morning about the Saviour of the world?” he asked.
And Amanda Maillot said, “I do believe all of what you have told me this morning, Flanders.”
“Amanda, would you like to pray and get saved right now?” he asked.
“Oh, but Bourse would not like that,” she said.
“Bourse?” asked Flanders, rattled by this sudden turn of events.
“Bourse,” said the eighteen-year-old girl. “Big Brother.”
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“Your big brother,” said Flanders. Suddenly things were going bad for him in his work for this maillot girl’s lost soul.
“Could I come in and visit for a while?” asked Amanda.
Hope revived inside of him upon hearing this, and he said, “I would like that, Amanda. Let’s do that. Come on in and see my apartment of God.”
And he led her into the hallway, and up the steps and into his apartment. And the eighteen-year-old girl said, “I see so many Bible verses on all of these walls, Flanders. This apartment is truly a house of God.”
“Thank you for saying that, Amanda,” he said.
And Miss Maillot also said, “And so little furniture for so nice a size apartment, Flanders.
You have lots of extra space to walk around and not bump into things.”
“Just give me a place to read my Bible every morning and a place to pray my prayers every morning, and I am happy,” he said all about his life as a born-again Christian.
“It doesn’t take a place all full of stuff to get to read the Bible and pray everyday like that, Flanders,” said the eighteen-year-old girl.
“My humble and happy home,” said Flanders.
“Where in here do you do most of your worship?” asked Amanda Maillot.
“Oh, in here,” he said, and he went to his bedroom to show her his desk and his pillow alongside his bed.
But the eighteen-year-old-girl did not see only his Bible study place and his prayer place, but also his cocoa chair with the empty mug and the one-piece swimsuit chair with the black and yellow one-piece swimsuit.
She discovered his maillot that was her maillot, and she gawked at it in familiarity. Caught up in the magical moment of her unexpected discovery, Flanders dared to look upon her face to see what
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she might be feeling and thinking about this swimming suit before her now. And he saw great admiration and great approval and great wonder in her pretty feminine features. In truth he said, “I forgot that this was here, Amanda.”
“Where did you get this, Flanders?” she asked. And she answered her own question, saying “Bay Park Square Mall.” That was the mall of which Younker’s was an anchor store.
“Yes, Amanda. There,” he said.
“Not every guy that I meet has a women’s one-piece swimsuit spread out on a chair like this, Flanders,” teased Miss Amanda Sleek Maillot.
“Not every guy buys a swimsuit for a girl and then finds out that the girl already has one just exactly as that one,” said Flanders in fun flirt with the eighteen-year-old girl.
She looked at the tag inside of his maillot and said, “And it is exactly my size,” said Amanda.
“Well, girl,” he said, “now that I know that you already have a one-piece swimsuit just like this one what should I do with this one?”
“You could put it on,” she said most provocatively.
“You sly devil,” he teased her right back. “You want me to look awful silly,”
“Let’s leave the maillots for us girls,” said the eighteen-year-old girl in coquetry.
“Maillots are only for you women,” he agreed.
“You’ve got a fetish,” said Amanda.
“Yeah. I do,” said Flanders. He then took off from the one chair his cocoa collection of things and put them away in his kitchen. And he then took from the other chair his special swimming suit and tossed that on the bed. And he set up the two chairs facing each other in the middle of the room upon the wooden floor. And he picked up his Holy Bible and proffered her a chair and did sit down upon the other chair. She sat down with him at her chair. And he opened his Bible and asked her, “Could you tell me more about your big brother Bourse?”
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And the eighteen-year-old girl said, “His bark is worse than his bite.”
“Does he yell then?” asked Flanders.
“It is not like he yells. It is more like he does not hit,” she said.
“He never hit you?” asked Flanders.
“I could take him out,” said the tall Amanda. “He never hits me. He’s afraid that I might hit him back.”
“What does he do that is not yelling?” asked Flanders.
“He makes big threats to me in a normal tone of voice,” said Miss Maillot.
“Does he mean these threats?” asked Flanders.
“Bourse is a wimp. Nothing that he says that he will do does he do,” said Amanda.
“Your big brother sounds harmless,” said Flanders.
“And to think that he is trying out for boxing of all things,” said the eighteen-year-old girl.
“He does not sound like a prize fighter,” said Flanders.
“Indeed Big Brother is a little fellow,” said Miss Maillot.
“He could get knocked around in the ring with all of these things against him, Amanda,” said Flanders.
“Oh, but I think that he wants to get knocked around,” said Miss Maillot. “Now that he is getting into boxing, he always goes and says to me, ‘Little Sister, I want to punch and to be punched.’”
“Most odd fellow,” said Flanders.
“Most odd small fellow,” said Amanda.
“But he is mean to his little sister,” said Flanders.
“Oh, but Bourse loves me just the same,” said the eighteen-year-old girl. “And I love him, too, just the way he is.”
“Has he had his first bout yet?” asked Flanders.
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“No, but he can’t wait,” said Amanda. “The way I feel, though, even were his opponent a girl, a big girl could hurt him in the ring. And he would really enjoy it.”
“Your big brother is in the wrong profession,” said Flanders.
“I told him that, and he pouted at me the rest of that day,” said Miss Maillot.
“What does he think about Christ?” asked Flanders.
“I never told him about Christ before,” said Amanda. “But, knowing him, I would say that he thinks that Christians use Christ for a crutch. My brother says that he is his own man. And he always tells me, ‘Little Sister, I am the captain of my destiny.’ He’s very self-sufficient.”
“Amanda, it is written in Acts 17:28, ‘For in him we live, and move, and have our own being;…,’” said Flanders.
“What does that mean, do you think?” asked the eighteen-year-old girl.
“It means that without God none of us has the strength to take our next step, and none of us has the air to take our next breath,” said Flanders.
“Now that would definitely make Big Brother mad,” said Miss Maillot.
“He needs Jesus,” said Flanders.
“If I told him that, I would get a sock in the face from him,” said Amanda.
“Amanda, unless your big brother repents, he will go to Hell,” said Flanders.
“I would not dare to tell Big Brother that,” said Amanda Maillot. “That’s definitely the wrong thing to say to him, Flanders.”
“Unless you repent, you will go to Hell, also,” said Flanders gently and compassionately, but firmly.
“I could never tell him that I got saved, were I to go and get saved,” said the eighteen-year-old girl. “How could I face him if he knew something like that about his little sister?”
“It is written, ‘For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him [Christ the Saviour] shall not
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be ashamed,’” quoted Flanders. “Romans 10:11.”
“Oh, but what Bourse thinks of me is even more important than what I think of myself,” said Amanda Maillot.
“The Bible says in Revelation 21:8, ‘But the fearful, …, shall have their part in the lake of fire which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death,’” recited Flanders another Bible verse.
“Are you saying that I am fearful?” she asked.
“’The fearful.’ in this verse are those who are afraid of what their family or their friends or their neighbors might think of them if they became born-again believers,” preached Flanders.
“I am fearful then,” confessed the eighteen-year-old girl.
“Don’t send yourself to Hell, O pretty Amanda, because of this Bourse,” said Flanders.
“The lake of fire and brimstone,” said Amanda Maillot. “Now I am beginning to be afraid of this Hell, Flanders.”
“It is wise for a lost person to be scared to death of Hell,” said Flanders.
“How come?” cried out Miss Maillot, her knees and elbows trembling.
“Because a soul-winner cannot get a soul saved unless first that soul knows that it is lost,” said Flanders.
“Is there more for you to tell me about this Hell?” asked Miss Amanda Maillot.
He turned to Matthew chapter thirteen and said to her, “In Matthew 13:41-42, Jesus says this to His disciples, ‘The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.’”
“A furnace of fire and wailing and gnashing of teeth,” she said, convicted now of the lost state of her soul.
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This same chapter in front of him, he read to her again, saying, “And in Matthew 13:49-50, Jesus again said to His disciples this parallel passage: ‘So shall it be at the end of the world: the angels shall come forth, and sever the wicked from among the just, and shall cast them into the furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.’”
“Again here—the furnace of fire and wailing and gnashing of teeth,” said the eighteen-year-old girl.
“Be more afraid of God Almighty for His power than you are of Bourse for his hard feelings,” said Flanders.
“I think that I am,” said Amanda Maillot.
“And be more afraid of going to Hell than of disappointing lost Big Brother,” said Flanders.
“Oh, that now for sure I am,” said Miss Maillot.
“And seek Christ and let go of pride,” said Flanders.
“I am your humble eighteen-year-old girl ready to get saved,” said Amanda Maillot.
“It is written, ‘And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.’ Matthew 10:28,” quoted Flanders Nickels.
“Let us go back to earlier today, not long after I had first gotten here—when we were both out front,” said the eighteen-year-old girl. “I was all ready to pray with you and get saved, when suddenly the topic of Bourse came up. Then I took a tangent and got stuck on Big Brother and forgot about Jesus. Sorry that I strayed away like that,”
“Are you ready to pray now, Amanda?” asked Flanders.
“One-piece swimsuit girls get saved, too,” said the eighteen-year-old girl.
“A one-piece swimsuit girl got me saved,” said Flanders.
“Do you mean that a maillot woman led you to Christ, Flanders?” asked Amanda.
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“Uh huh,” he said with a nod.
“We one-piece swimsuit girls rule,” said Miss Maillot.
“Yeah!” he said in enthusiasm. “Shall we bow our heads and pray here on the chairs in my room? I can lead you through the prayer, and all you have to do is to repeat after me, line-by-line and mean it and find Christ the same way that I did.”
Yet the eighteen-year-old girl asked, “Was her swimsuit pretty to you, Flanders?”
He remembered in silent daydreaming. That girl’s swimsuit was indeed a swimdress. It was all black throughout with a pattern across her torso and with a wide purple V-stripe at her waist and with a black skirt portion blowing in the wind across her hips
He said, “First your salvation, Amanda, then the story of my salvation.”
But the eighteen-year-old girl went on to ask him, “Was she built good, Flanders?”
He remembered how slender that this woman was. Most of the time swimdresses were for obese women. But this swimdress woman that day was slender and curvaceous and indeed most well-built. He had come to affectionately call her “the lithe girl.” Even her back curved in this swimdress.
She was indeed supple like a woman gymnast.
Trying to get back to his eighteen-year-old girl’s needful salvation, he said, “Amanda, the testimony of my salvation and the swimdress girl have to wait. Right now we need to get you saved, so that you can have a testimony of your own salvation to tell others in time to come.”
“Oh, but you’ve just got to tell me where you saw her that day,” said the eighteen-year-old girl.
He remembered Ashwaubomay Park out in Ashwaubenon real close to the Brown County Fairgrounds. It was there where the lithe girl had her hand in his becoming born again. This big park had a man-made lake in it with sandy shores all along its perimeter. He had gone there to see the young women there in their swimming suits. But he had come too early in the year. The man-made lake was not open yet for the year. So he went to a farther place in this park, found the western shores of the Fox
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River along this park’s border, and walked in without rolling up his pants legs. There were no swimsuit women at the official lake yet closed for the season, and he forgot about why he had come to this park.
He did love to splash around in water, even though he did not learn how to swim; so he reveled in the waters of the river in its shallow edges. Then he looked up and saw other people also enjoying this river here at this section of the park just as he was. And in this wide river, between him and the shore and about ankle-deep in water and looking like a siren, stood a one-piece swimsuit goddess. She was so irresistible that at first he was too afraid to look at her, again, lest she think that he were staring at her. But he could not keep his eyes off of her. This was “the lithe girl.” And he was utterly captivated.
Then he heard Amanda Maillot clear her throat, and he came back to today’s one-piece swimsuit girl, also exciting and also prettier in the face than the swimdress girl of his reveries now. And he said, “I’ve got to tell you all about her, Amanda.”
“Then I will pray my salvation prayer with you right after,” said the eighteen-year-old girl.
“Is that a promise?” he asked.
“That is a promise,” said Miss Amanda Maillot.
And Flanders Nickels went on to tell her all about what he had just been remembering here, answering all three of her questions thoroughly, and then picking up from where his daydreams had left off in his thoughts. He then said to the eighteen-year-old girl, “I gathered my courage, and I asked her if she had a boyfriend in her life. And she said that she was engaged to a handsome guy. I was so disappointed. But then she said that she had something to give to me. Being a young man and still without Christ, I wondered if that which she had to give me might be a hug or something like that.
She bade me to follow her to shore. And I followed her to shore. And there she picked up a purse that she had upon the picnic table there, and she put her hand into her purse to grab something. In my doleful state at this rejection in the water, I was still clinging with hope that maybe she might give me a little paper with her name and her phone number and her address on it. We could still be friends. But
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when she pulled her hand out of her purse, she had a whole little pack of little booklets in it. I had seen little booklets like this before. Christians often tried to give me these kinds of booklets before, and I always refused them. This had to be one of those kind. And yet, because she was so sexy, I was hoping inside that this was what it looked to be. She proffered one of them to me and said, ‘Kind sir, this will tell you how to get to Heaven.’ And I truly eagerly reached out and took this from her. I was glad to get this salvation tract from this woman.
I said, ‘Thank you, kind miss.’
She said, ‘God bless you, sir.’
And I said, ‘God bless you, too, ma’am.’
And then she left. And right away I went to the picnic table that she had left, and I sat down and read the tract, and I became convicted of my sins, and I saw my need for the Saviour, and I prayed the sample sinners’ prayer in the back. That, Amanda, is the story of how I became a born-again Christian.”
Amanda Maillot said, “The least she could have done was to sit with you at that picnic table and chatted with you a little, Flanders. I would have done that.”
“I think that she wanted to be utmost faithful to her husband-to-be,” said Flanders.
“Or maybe she was kind of shy,” said Miss Maillot.
“She was a most enticing one-piece swimsuit woman,” said Flanders.
“I’m jealous, Flanders,” said the eighteen-year-old girl. “I’m jealous of ‘your lithe girl.’”
“Don’t be, Amanda,” said Flanders. “You are prettier than she was.”
“You’ve got a crush on me,” said Amanda Maillot.
“Very much so, if I do say so myself,” said Flanders.
“Well I’ve got a crush on you, too, Flanders,” said the eighteen-year-old girl.
“What better reason to pray and get saved now?” he asked in flirt and in focus.
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“You wily Christian guy,” the eighteen-year-old girl flirted back. “But the best thing for me to do right away,” she went on to agree. “What do I need to do?”
“Just pray for salvation, and you will find salvation,” said Flanders. “I will lead you line-by-line through what we believers call ‘the sinners’ prayer.’ All you need to do is to repeat after me, and to mean it, and to believe it,”
“Is the prayer that you will have me to pray a lot like the one that you prayed on that salvation tract that you got?” asked Amanda Maillot.
“Very much like it, Amanda,” said Flanders.
“I’m yours and God’s now, Flanders. Lead me now to Christ. I am now ready to get saved,” said the eighteen-year-old girl.
“Let us bow our heads now where we sit, and let us pray,” said Flanders Nickels.
Witness-warrior and seeking soul bowed their heads where they sat upon their chairs in this worship room of Flanders.
Just then there arose a thunderous tumult crashing upon the door below of this building. Thuds and thumps clashed against this spirit of peace up here from down there below. And it would not stop. And neither eighteen-year-old girl nor born-again man could start her sinners’ prayer with all of this commotion. And Flanders became frustrated greatly. Finally giving up for now upon leading her through the prayer, Flanders got up in silent rage, and he marched down the stairs from his apartment door to his building’s door.
As he was going down the stairs, he heard Amanda call out to him, “Flanders, it is probably Bourse.”
In his vexed spirit of this dire moment, Flanders said to her on his way down, “Then let him be anathema Maranatha!”
And once down there, Flanders flung open the door to this apartment building. And he saw a
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a little guy with two raised fists holding black boxing gloves. This little man looked both notorious and comical both at once. No man that Flanders had seen before was as hirsute at this little fellow. His mustache was as long as a beard. His beard was as long as a woman’s hair. His sideburns covered all of both of his cheeks. And his hair was longer than any woman’s hair. All that hair on his face seemed to make him look bigger than he really was. Yet his head barely reached up to Flanders’s shoulders, and Flanders was short for his own gender himself. Wildness gleamed in this fellow’s fiery eyes. This was Bourse. And Flanders was suddenly no longer angry at Bourse. Further, Bourse quickly put down his gloved fists and said, “I’m sorry for punching your door, sir.” And Flanders’s remaining indignation melted away.
“I forgive you. But you came at a very bad time, Bourse,” said Flanders.
“Has Little Sister gotten herself into a scrape again, sir?” asked Bourse. Standing upon his toes, he looked past Flanders called up toward the top of the stairs, saying, “I know you’re up there, Amanda. I followed you here.”
“Not right now, Big Brother,” called down the eighteen-year-old girl. “I need to be alone with Flanders right now.”
Looking at the born-again believer, Bourse said, “Flanders?”
Flanders said, “That’s I.”
Then Bourse took a step back on this front stoop and called up to the second floor bedroom window in the front of this building, saying, “Little Sister, how many times have I had to get you out of one of your scrapes that you got yourself into? Well, Bourse is here to do it for you again.”
Putting her face in the screen of this upper bedroom window, Amanda Maillot asked, “Can you see me now in the window, Big Brother?”
“I see you now, Amanda,” said Bourse.
“I ask that you leave me alone with good Flanders for just fifteen minutes. I want to get myself
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saved,” said Amanda Maillot. Then she said, “Then, after I get saved, then you can maybe get saved, also, Big Brother,”
“I don’t want to get saved!” yelled Bourse. “And you do not want to get saved!”
“No. You’re dead wrong about me this time, Bourse,” said the eighteen-year-old girl. “Your little sister wants to get saved. And Flanders can help me to do that right now if you go away now and come back later.”
“I don’t want to get saved,” said Bourse again. Then he said, “I don’t want you to get saved.”
Bourse attempted to get into the building, but Flanders had to bar his way with his self in the doorway.
Then the little fellow looked back up at the window, and he said, “Little Sister, I do not see you. Where did you go on me?” She was no longer in the upper window.
Then the eighteen-year-old girl appeared at the top of the steps in the apartment doorway. And she said to him, “I am becoming angry with you, Big Brother.”
“What kind of sister are you running off with a guy like this one and leaving your own big brother outside like this?” asked Bourse.
Flanders took command, and he said, “This is enough! Bourse, do I have to throw you out?
Go away now, or I will call the police.”
In a fit of temper, Bourse hauled off and struck Flanders in his chest with his left boxing glove. And then Bourse said, “Take that, Little Sister!” Flanders was more surprised than hurt. Nobody ever punched him before, but this did not hurt. He then picked up Bourse from under his arm pits and held him up in the air to throw him.
“Sir, sir,” said the little guy, “it’s impolite to throw people.”
Having seen all of this, the eighteen-year-old girl said, “You’ve hit my good friend, Big Brother. You’ve really gone and done it now. This time you are in big trouble with me. And that was the last straw. Now I am going to hit you as you hit Flanders, but harder!” And the eighteen-year-old girl
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came marching down the stairs in her black and yellow one-piece swimsuit. “I shall now box with you,
Bourse you boor!” she promised.
And she went outside and joined the two on the front stoop and said, “Throw him, Flanders.” And Flanders threw him out into the grass. The little guy fell hard upon his bottom and cried out. But he was going to be okay.
After a while of groaning and sulking as he sat upon the ground, he consoled himself and said to himself, “Well, Bourse, at least you get to box with your little sister.” And then he got back up to his feet. Then he knocked his two boxing gloves together and said, “I’ve got the boxing gloves, and you don’t, Little Sister.”
“I don’t need boxing gloves in this fight,” said Amanda Bourse. And she knocked her two bare fists together in front of him. And she stepped out into the lawn to fight him.
“Ding ding!” said Bourse, overconfident. “That’s the bell for the bout, Little Sister.”
And the eighteen-year-old girl hauled off her right bare fist and struck Bourse hard in his chest with her bare knuckles where he stood holding his gloves in front of his face. He gave out a painful grunt; he stood there for a while, still holding his gloves in front of his face; he then fell to the ground, falling most ungainly back upon his bottom again.
“How’s it feel to get socked, Bourse?” asked Miss Maillot.
“Momma Mia,” he said in a daze where he sat.
“Serves you right,” said Amanda.
“I feel real good,” said Bourse, speaking the truth of his emotions.
“I never did anything like this before, Flanders,” said Miss Maillot.
“I’m impressed, Amanda,” said Flanders.
“Bourse, you can get up now,” said the eighteen-year-old girl.
And he took a few deep breaths, shook his head, rubbed his ribs, then got back up to his feet
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again. Then he said, “Amanda, go ahead and get yourself saved now. And when my dizziness goes away and my ribs feel good again, then I will follow through and get saved for myself, too.”
“Oh, Bourse, I am so glad for you,” said Miss Maillot.
“And I am now glad for you, too, Little Sister,” said the little man. Then he said, “I thank you, Flanders, for not hitting me back. You are a good man of God. Sorry that I slugged you.”
“I forgive you, Bourse,” said Flanders. “I’m sorry for having thrown you so far.”
“Go now and find God, O fair Amanda,” said Bourse.
And the eighteen-year-old girl and Flanders Nickels sat down together side-by-side upon the bottom step of the front stoop. They closed their eyes, bowed their heads, and began together the sinners’ prayer unto so great salvation for Amanda Maillot:
“Dear Father in Heaven,” began Flanders.
“Dear Father in Heaven,” repeated Miss Maillot.
“I have done bad things in my life that I should not have done,” led Flanders.
“I have done bad things in my life that I should not have done,” repeated Amanda.
“And I have also not done good things in my life that I should have done,” said Flanders.
“And I have also not done good things in my life that I should have done,” said Amanda Maillot.
“I am sorry for all of that,” said Flanders.
“I am sorry for all of that,” said the eighteen-year-old girl.
“Please forgive me for all of that sin which I did,” said Flanders.
“Please forgive me for all of that sin which I did,” she said.
“I believe that Jesus Christ the Lord…,” he said.
“I believe that Jesus Christ the Lord…,” she said.
“…shed His perfect blood for me…,” said Flanders.
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“…shed His perfect blood for me…,” said Amanda.
“…and died for me on the cross…,” said Flanders.
“…and died for me on the cross…,” she said.
“…to take away my sins,” said Flanders.
“…to take away my sins,” she said.
“And I believe that this same Lord Jesus…,” said Flanders.
“And I believe that this same Lord Jesus…,” said the eighteen-year-old girl.
“…on the third day…,” he said.
“…on the third day…,” she said.
“…rose from the grave…,” he said.
“…rose from the grave…,” she said.
“…and lives today,” he said.
“…and lives today,” she said.
“I ask You now to become my personal Saviour,” he said.
“I ask You now to become my personal Saviour,” she said.
“And give me everlasting life,” he said.
“And give me everlasting life,” she said.
“Thank You for keeping me out of Hell,” he said.
“Thank You for keeping me out of Hell,” she said.
“Thank You for keeping a place for me in Heaven,” he said.
“Thank You for keeping a place for me in Heaven,” she said.
“In Jesus’s name I pray,” he said.
“In Jesus’s name I pray,” she said.
“Amen,” he said.
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“Amen,” she said.
The two looked up from this prayer. “How do you feel, Amanda?” he asked.
She paused a while, then said, “I don’t feel any different, but I know that I am different now, Flanders.”
“You’re right to say that, Amanda,” he said. “Salvation cannot be evaluated by how you feel. Salvation must be based on faith in God.”
“I prayed just now in faith,” she said.
“And you have just been saved by grace through faith,” he said.
“I know I am saved, because I asked God to save me, and He saved me,” she said, understanding the free gift of eternal life.
“It is written, ‘These things have I written unto you that believe in the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.’ I John 5:13,” recited Flanders a verse about assurance in one’s salvation.
“This is the best thing that ever happened to me, Flanders,” said the eighteen-year-old girl. “Bourse, come up and join me and get born again like me,” she called out to her big brother.
Without saying a word, Bourse scampered up to them and sat down next to them on this front stoop. Then he took off his boxing gloves.
“Bourse, you took off your boxing gloves,” said the eighteen-year-old girl.
“Yes, I did, Little Sister,” he said.
“You really mean business with God,” said Amanda Maillot.
“A man needs to find Jesus with humbleness,” said Bourse.
To explain this to Flanders, Amanda said, “Bourse brags on himself when he has the gloves on.”
“I shall not brag until after I finish my business with you, Flanders,” he said.
And the soul-winner and the seeking Bourse prayed together and Bourse became a born-again
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believer himself, just like Amanda of today and just like Flanders of a time ago.
And Bourse got to his feet, bowed his head before Flanders, and said, “Thank you, sir. This salvation is the thing that I needed to get the most of all things to get.” He then put his boxing gloves back over his hands, and knocked them together, but then said, “Who am I to brag? Now, Little Sister, your Bourse can seem to brag only on Jesus.”
And the eighteen-year-old girl said, “Big Brother, you’re different. You are more like Christ now. I have never seen you like this before.”
“I got to go and tell Little Brother,” said Bourse. “He needs the Saviour, too.”
“I love you, Bourse,” said the eighteen-year-old girl.
“And I love you, Little Sister,” he said. And just like that he ran off to tell their little brother about the Lord as well.
And the eighteen-year-old girl and her admirer were alone now on this front porch. “Flanders,” she said, “now that Big Brother went and left us together like this, what should we do?”
“We could go on our first date,” he said. “We could stay here and fellowship and flirt and have good clean fun.”
“But first we have to be girlfriend-and-boyfriend. Don’t we?” she asked.
“What comes first—a first date or a relationship?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” she said.
“Maybe in our case, Amanda, the first date and the relationship can both start at the same time,” he said.
“Then what better time than now?” she asked.
“Yes!” he said. “And not only that, Amanda, but today we are now officially boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ.”
“Because I became a Christian today, and because you are already a Christian, Flanders,” said
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the eighteen-year-old girl. “Because we are born again believers, we can never be just boyfriend-and-girlfriend.”
“Indeed God’s Holy Spirit indwells both of us,” he said.
“Flanders, let’s go and see your one-piece swimsuit again,” she said.
“Yes!” he said. “I’ll go get it.”
It was, as they both knew, the same as her one-piece swimsuit. But he wanted to see both maillots at the same time anyway—his in her hands, and hers on her self. And when he came back down with it, she said his thoughts, saying, “I want to hold your maillot while I wear my maillot.”
“Yes, Amanda,” he said. And he handed her the black and yellow maillot, and she took it in her hands and hugged it against herself where she sat on the front stoop. Then she held it up by its shoulder straps. Then she looked within its inside.
“Flanders, do you suppose that an eighteen-year-old girl like myself can go and buy something like this up in Heaven when she gets There?” asked Amanda Maillot.
“I daydream a lot about a ‘great Penney’s in the Skies,’” he told her.
“Like the department store J.C. Penney’s?” she asked.
“Yes,” he said. “I hope to find a Penney’s in Heaven full of women’s swimwear racks. I can see in my mind what it would look like Up There. I would be outside of it. Its walls would be high and wide and full of beige cement blocks. A patch of green grass of lawn would be in front of it. And a paved concrete parking lot would be in front of the green lawn.”
“Wouldn’t that be fun for us to go shopping together for another maillot for me at your ‘Penney’s in the Skies,’ Flanders?” asked Amanda Sleek Maillot.
“That would be more fun in Heaven even than down here,” said Flanders Nickels.
“You could buy me a sleek maillot,” said the eighteen-year-old girl.
“Amanda, you would look sleek in your maillot,” he praised her.
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“Would Jesus let us do that in Heaven?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” he said. “But I do know that when you and I are living in the paradise that is Christ’s Millennial Reign, that there will be weddings up there. And where there are weddings, there are two people getting married. And before marriage comes dating. And where dating is, there is good wholesome romance. And what better good wholesome romance is there between a guy and his girl than going one-piece swimsuit shopping together? And where can a couple go one-piece swimsuit shopping better than Penney’s?”
“Maybe our good old Younker’s, Flanders,” she said, holding up his Younker’s maillot in her one hand and lifting a shoulder strap of her own Younker’s maillot with her other hand.
“Gardens!” he said in metaphor.
“By ‘gardens,’ I bet you mean ‘one-piece swimsuit racks.’ Don’t you, Flanders?” she asked.
“Very much so, Amanda,” he said.
“I never looked inside my swimsuit before,” she said. “The inside of these cups in this one are a black fabric. The inside of the cups in mine must also be the same black material.”
“How do they fit you?” he dared ask a bold coquet’s inquiry.
“My cups feel quite comfortable,” said Amanda Maillot.
“You should know,” he said. “You’re a girl.”
“I do know,” she said. “I’m an eighteen-year-old girl.”
“Amanda, it is written, ‘Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins.’ Song of Solomon 7:3,” said Flanders.
“That’s in the Holy Bible?” asked Amanda.
“That is is, Amanda,” he said.
“That’s positively naughty,” she said.
“Do you like it?” he asked.
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“Yeah, Flanders,” she said. “I love it.”
“There’s more in the Bible where that came from,” said Flanders.
“Is it just as naughty?” asked the eighteen-year-old girl.
“It is even more naughty,” he said. “It is longer.”
“Oo, tell it to me,” she said.
“You’ve got to read it out loud,” he said. “It is Song of Solomon 4:5.” And he searched the Scriptures and found it and showed it to her.
And she read this parallel verse out loud to herself, her hands upon her one-piece swimsuit cups as she wore it, “Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies.”
“What do you think, Amanda Sleek Maillot?” asked Flanders Arckery Nickels in good old romance.
“That’s even more naughty—like you and like me,” said the eighteen-year-old girl. And she dropped his maillot upon the cement steps and grabbed a hold of Flanders, and Flanders grabbed a hold of her in her maillot. And boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-the-Lord wrestled each other out in the front yard of the city in the nice short green grass until their laughter made them stop to catch their breath.
And they romanced innocently thus for an hour.
Then they fellow-shipped in Bible reading for an hour.
Then they fellow-shipped in prayer for an hour.
Then they talked about his Baptist church for an hour.
Thus Flanders Nickels found himself a most especial eighteen-year-old girl.
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