Gretchen and Varsity—the Fabled Girls—are the famous Christian twin cheerleaders, attired in blue and red, called of God to keep safe the world’s first Old Testament and the world’s first New Testament from the dragons of the Devil, who want to burn them up in dragon fire. They are mighty lady archers who fire enhanced arrows from their bows—one who shoots flaming arrows and one who shoots poisoned (acidic) arrows. Their Christian boyfriends are mighty swordsmen. Flanders, Gretchen’s boyfriend, is the famous “Swordfighter of the Occident.” Proffery, Destiny’s boyfriend, is the famous “Swordfighter of the North.” They also are called to slay dragons for God. So, too, are the pets of these four called to fight dragons with them—a he-unicorn and a she-unicorn and a he-griffin and a she-griffin.
THE FABLED GIRLS
Mr. Morgan P. McCarthy
The Table of Contents
Chapter I……………………………………………………………………………………………Page 1
Chapter II………………………………………………………………………………………….Page 15
Chapter III…………………………………………………………………………………………Page 30
Chapter IV…………………………………………………………………………………………Page 45
Chapter V…………………………………………………………………………………………Page 60
Chapter VI…………………………………………………………………………………………Page 75
Chapter VII………………………………………………………………………………………..Page 90
Chapter VIII……………………………………………………………………………………..Page 105
Chapter IX……………………………………………………………………………………….Page 119
Chapter X………………………………………………………………………………………..Page 134
Chapter XI……………………………………………………………………………………….Page 150
Chapter XII………………………………………………………………………………………Page 166
Chapter XIII……………………………………………………………………………………..Page 182
Chapter XIV……………………………………………………………………………………..Page 198
Chapter XV………………………………………………………………………………………Page 214
Chapter XVI……………………………………………………………………………………..Page 229
Chapter XVII…………………………………………………………………………………….Page 245
Chapter XVIII……………………………………………………………………………………Page 260
Chapter XIX……………………………………………………………………………………..Page 275
Chapter XX………………………………………………………………………………………Page 292
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CHAPTER I
The Fabled Girls—Gretchen and Destiny—lived in a great house called “Chez Maison,” in America’s heartland in northern Wisconsin along the Upper Michigan border. They were identical twin sisters, thirty-three years old, born-again Christians, and ever cheerleaders all the hours of all of their days together. The elder Fabled Girl was Miss Gretchen Allison Varsity. The younger Fabled Girl was Miss Destiny Kate Varsity. What made these twin sisters the famous “Fabled Girls?” It was their ministry given to them by God which they so faithfully carried out to His glory and to His honor. Their mission for the Lord will be disclosed to the reader later. It was a calling of God whose outcome would determine the final battle between good and evil.
The Fabled Girl twins considered themselves born-again believers first; and cheerleaders second. Gretchen’s first love was Bible study. And Destiny’s first love was prayer. Few believers knew the King James Bible as Gretchen knew the King James Bible. And few believers could pray like Destiny could pray. And both loved to go to their Baptist church, also. And both thanked the Lord
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much for their quiet times that they had alone with God in their bedrooms and for their special boyfriends-in-Christ as spiritual as themselves and for their wonderful pets with whom they shared life at home. But the one thing for which the Fabled Girls were the most grateful in the Lord were their beloved and cherished cheerleader uniforms given them by the Good Lord in a far away land of magic.
Gretchen’s cheerleader uniform was a varsity football cheerleader uniform of dark blue and deep red, of a long-sleeved sweater, and of a box-pleated skirt. And Destiny’s cheerleader uniform was a varsity basketball cheerleader uniform also of dark blue and deep red, of a sleeveless vest, and of a knife-pleated skirt.
The following paragraph will describe Gretchen’s football cheerleader uniform in full and complete detail just the way that she saw it whenever she paused to admire it and to adore it: In her long straight brown hair with bangs, she had comely ribbons of blue and red. Her cheerleader sweater had the following pattern: In the front was a three-inch wide diagonal red stripe in the middle of a field of blue. It ran from her left hip up to her right shoulder. And a chenille emblem of blue ran down this red diagonal stripe, reading, “Gretchen,” in all capital cursive letters. In the blue field above and to the left of this diagonal line was a chenille emblem in red script letters reading “U. H. S,” horizontally near the top. This stood for “Utopia High School.” In the blue field below and to the right of this diagonal line was a red chenille emblem in red italics reading, “Seraphim,” also horizontally, but near the bottom. The “Seraphim” were the mascots of this high school. And across the shoulders of this sweater in fields of blue were two-inch wide red stripes running along the top on both sides. And the collar had a V-neck to it. The sleeves of this cheerleader sweater were long blue sleeves with blue cuffs. On each sleeve, there was one red stripe of one-inch wide running along its outer side and one red stripe of one-inch wide running along its inner side. And the bottom hem of this cheerleader sweater was all blue. This sweater shone with so-rich bright colors, and Gretchen took most great care with it in her love for it. Her cheerleader skirt could be described as follows: It had old-time box pleats, what they called
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in this style, “over-sized pleats.” It shone in its richness of blue and red pleats all around her hips, and she loved this skirt the most of all of her cheerleader uniform articles. It had eight main navy blue pleats and eight contrasting brick red pleats in between. These were accounted the widest of box pleats that were made back in the old days. And these pleats reached nearly to her knees. And in back was a button-zipper closure, with two buttons and one button hole to better accommodate the right fit for the right girl.
Also Gretchen Varsity had on long blue knee socks with three wide red stripes along the top.
And she also had on canvas sneakers—blue with red shoelaces and red soles and red tips over the toes.
This was Gretchen Allison Varsity at home and away from home every day of her life these days. And though she was not a cheerleader who cheered at any football game now, she was definitely a cheerleader for God in her attire and in her walk with Christ. All the world knew this elder Fabled Girl and loved her in this cheerleader uniform.
This following paragraph will describe in great detail the basketball cheerleader uniform which God had given Destiny Varsity to wear all the days of her Christian walk for Him: She, also, had long and straight brown hair with bangs, her head adorned with blue and red ribbons. Her cheerleader vest, or “cheerleader shell,” as it was also called, was sleeveless and radiated lustrous blues and reds as befitted a cheerleader for Utopia High School. A deep V-stripe of red, four inches wide, descended down from her shoulders to her belly in a broad field of blue. Across the top of this front of the vest in the blue field was a chenille emblem in simple printed capitals of red, reading, “DESTINY.” Just to each side of this chenille emblem were the upper edges of the big “V.” Above the “V,” was blue; below and to both sides of the “V” was blue; and below the “V’ was blue. Across the shoulders of the vest were little chenille emblems: to the left was the red chenille emblem reading “Varsity,”; to the right was the red chenille emblem reading, “Basketball.” These were written in simple printed little case letters.
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And running down each side of this shell was a two-inch wide red stripe from top to bottom. Destiny took care of this cheerleader vest just like it were her Bible. This was what God and she wished.
As for her basketball cheerleader skirt, it was blue with twelve wide knife pleats with three half-inch wide red stripes running along the bottom of the pleats amid the blue in and out of the knife pleats. And at the top of her blue skirt she had a red yoke with two blue chenille emblems in the red yoke to the far right and to the far left. One read, “U. H. S,” of which the meaning the reader has already read. And the other read, “Seraphim,” which the reader can understand. These were in fancy blue letters full of serifs, whose words were horizontal, and contained within the borders of the red of the yoke. These glistening knife pleats reached nearly to her knees. And this cheerleader skirt also had in back a zipper and two buttons side-by-side and one buttonhole. This was Destiny Varsity’s favorite part of her Utopia Seraphim basketball cheerleader uniform. And her knee socks and her sneakers were just the same as Gretchen’s knee socks and sneakers, all abundant with dark blues and deep reds.
Indeed Destiny did not cheer now for any games, either. But she was more than ready to fall in love with this basketball cheerleader uniform when God did bless her with it. And everyday, as the prayer-warrior, this younger Fabled Girl did thank God for this outfit fervently and fondly and faithfully. And God heard her prayers, and He was well-pleased. His cheerleader was a fervid and ardent cheerleader for Him in apparel and in the way she lived for Him. This was the younger Fabled Girl that all the world knew in sincerity and in integrity and in spirit.
Take note, reader, this testimony does not relate to football or to basketball as a pastime for God, but rather to the covering of his Fabled Girls in apparel that best suited them as God’s renowned Fabled Girl twins.
What did this home Chez Maison look like where the Fabled Girls lived? It was long and wide and tall. On the third and tallest floor of this mansion were the girls’ bedrooms, where they spent the most time with God in prayer and in Bible study alone with Him much every day and every night.
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Gretchen’s bedroom was on the north end of the house, and Destiny’s bedroom was on the south end of the house. And between the one bedroom and the other bedroom was a very long hallway with nothing beyond the walls either to the east or to the west. This hallway and the two bedrooms which it joined were upon the top of the second story upon a flat roof, and itself was the third story to the Chez Maison. One could walk about on the roof along the sides of the long narrow hallway between the big bedrooms at each end. Doors in this long hall, one to the right in the middle and one to the left in the middle, opened out onto the flat roof to the east and to the west. The bedroom to the north covered the whole north of this flat roof, and the bedroom to the south covered the whole south of this flat roof.
This magnificent Chez Maison also had balconies and wooden steps that went down two floors outside that led to the back yard and to the front yard of the Fabled Girls. Gretchen’s north bedroom had doors and balconies and steps to the east and to the west. And, in like, Destiny’s south bedroom also had doors and balconies and steps to the east and to the west. To the west of Chez Maison was the front yard. To the east of Chez Maison was the back yard.
Just beyond the north bedroom of Gretchen was a closet held up by four wooden columns just underneath. This closet was inside the Chez Maison, but it was just outside of Gretchen’s room. The same for Destiny in her bedroom to the south. Just outside of her bedroom and still inside the Chez Maison was her closet, also supported by four wooden pillars from below—all of this to the south of the mansion. These hardwood beams stood two stories tall. As for the explanation for what made these Fabled Girls twins so illustrious and what great ministry with which they served God Almighty, the answer can be found in their closets. Within these two closets were the treasures of Christianity and all Christendom. For themselves, the Fabled Girls did keep their cheerleader uniforms in these closets when they were not wearing them. But for the Lord Jesus Christ, they did keep in these closets the very original manuscripts of the Holy Bible—both the original Old Testament and the original New Testament, preserved by the Holy Spirit for millennia and now preserved by the Fabled Girls for
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years and for now. It was their boyfriends-in-the-Lord, sent by God, who had come to Chez Maison with these ancient divine manuscripts to deliver them to the Fabled Girls. God had raptured up the boyfriends to Heaven, given them the original Scriptures, and sent them back down to Earth to give them to their girlfriends. The Father had given them to the Son. The Son had given them to the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit had given them to the angels. The angels had given them to the boyfriends. And the boyfriends had given them to the girlfriends. And the Devil and his dragons wanted them for themselves to burn up in their diabolical and demonic dragon fires. The inspired book of Revelation in the Holy Bible was also handed down from one to another in its origins duly preserved in the King James Bible, as said in Revelation 1:1: “The revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave unto him, to shew unto his servants things which must shortly come to pass; and he sent and signified it by his angel unto his servant John.” This New Testament book of prophecy did God the Father give unto Jesus Christ, and did Jesus Christ give unto the angel, and did the angel give unto John the Beloved. What made the Heavenly Father in these days give His Good Book’s original drafts into the hands of two American twenty-first century cheerleaders to keep from the Devil and his demons? It was a challenge that Satan had tested God with one day when he stood before the throne of God and accused the Fabled Girls for their sins. The Lord said unto Satan, “Do you see my daughters Gretchen and Destiny and how they live for me? Does not Gretchen read and memorize and reflect upon the King James Bible every day? Does not Destiny pray in the morning and at noon and in the evening every day without fail?”
But Satan said unto the Lord, “Do not the Varsity twins worship You for nought? Have not You made it easy for them to tend to so much Bible study and so much prayer? But reach down and give them a job to do and they will lose interest in their daily worship.”
And God said unto Satan, “My two daughters are in your power. Curse them with a temporal obligation. But do not smite their daily quiet time with Me. And see whether they will continue their
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Bible study and their prayers with their new responsibilities in their lives.”
And Satan went forth down to the Earth, and he cursed the twin Varsity girls with a full-time job for the both of them. But the Varsity sisters continued on unabated with their many hours of worship in their bedrooms, filling up on as much Bible-reading and prayer-speaking as they had before. To accommodate their thirst and hunger for the Lord, they simply turned off the TV and turned off the radio and turned off the computer and turned off their cell phones. And Gretchen and Destiny were still rejoicing in the joy of the Lord in their very much quiet time with God.
Then Satan came back to the Lord in Heaven and stood before His throne and again began to accuse the two girls for their sins. The Lord said unto Satan, “Have you seen my two daughters of Wisconsin? You have taken away their precious gift of much time, and still they live their lives like unto veritable Fabled Girls. They now spend even more time with Me in their rooms after having gotten their jobs than they had before they had gotten their jobs.”
And Satan said unto God, “Hour for hour, yea. But let me smite them with an eternal commitment, and they will surely no longer wish to commune with You in their rooms in the hours of their days.”
And God said unto Satan, “That I will do. I will call my Gretchen and my Destiny to a ministry unlike any ministry I have given to any of My saints before. It will be a ministry rife with challenges and dangers and distractions.”
“What will it be?” Satan asked the Lord.
“It is not for you to know without first finding out for yourself,” said the Lord to Satan.
And Satan left the Lord and thought within his heart, “Now I’ve got those fabled girls in my hands. They will be so busy doing things for God that they will leave behind their daily quiet times with Him and end up backsliding on Him for me.”
And God then went ahead and called forth the boyfriends of these Varsity twins, these men
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true and faithful sons of God themselves. God raptured them for a visit to His throne. Then God told them what they were called to do for Him. These men were to bring these original manuscripts down from Heaven to the Earth and unto their girlfriends for their unique mission from God. And their girlfriends were to store these most ancient treasures in a great safe sanctuary in their Chez Maison. And the Varsity twin sisters were to become the beloved Fabled Girls. And the dragons would come and lay siege upon Chez Maison. And the Fabled Girls would become the foremost of lady archers.
And the boyfriends would become preeminent among men sword fighters. And their pets—griffins and unicorns—would become gallant and valiant soldiers-for-Christ. And Satan’s dragons would fall in battle against the four Christian warriors and their four pet allies.
All of this the boyfriends told their girlfriends upon riding up to Chez Maison with their treasures from Heaven Above. The Varsity cheerleaders at once said together, “The Good Lord’s will be done.”
And the men said together, “Grace and mercy be upon you two.”
And the twin cheerleaders became from that time on “The Fabled Girls.”
And the Fabled Girls continued onward with their faithful Bible study and steadfast prayers even with a new life of battle. And they did not let up one minute with Jesus in their many times alone with Him in their rooms in light of day and in dark of night. Their worship life continued on seamlessly. And they stayed true to their perfect attendance at the Baptist church down the road as well, every time the doors of the church were open for a service. Great and blameless and impeccable were the testimonies of these Fabled Girls before the whole world. And great and blameless and impeccable were the testimonies of the Fabled Girls’ boyfriends as well before all of the world. And their four pets were respected and admired by people and other talking animals from far and wide.
And Satan and his dragons shuddered in fear of God whenever they saw these eight gathered together in fellowship at once. And Satan and his dragons wondered in doubts upon taking on these eight in
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battles at Chez Maison. But the Devil had one desire, and that was to get the Fabled Girls. And to get the Fabled Girls, Satan had to burn up the world’s first Holy Bible with his dragon fires or with his demons’ dragon fires. And battles between good and evil now moved to Chez Maison and its vast rural yard in the countrysides of northern Wisconsin.
Gretchen Varsity was again in her bedroom at her Bible-study site—her desk and desk chair in the corner. She had just finished a maxing-out Bible reading of two hours straight. She was reading and memorizing and reflecting upon the Song of Solomon with all of its magic of romance verses that she so loved to say to her boyfriend in their years of dating together as boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-the-Lord. When she had begun today’s reading of her King James Bible, it was still light outside her windows. But now that she was done with today’s reading of her Bible, it was dark outside, and her desk lamp was on now for some time already. She then turned to the cover of her Good Book. It was a hard cover, and it was black, and its words on the cover were gilt, and its page edges were also gilt. Its gilt letters on the top of the front read above, “Holy Bible,” and read below, “King James Version.” And its gilt letters on the spine on top read, “Holy Bible,” and read below, “KJV.” She then opened the Bible to just before the first page of the Old Testament, and she read the following on a title page:
“The
HOLY BIBLE
containing
the old and new testaments
Translated out of the original tongues
and with the former translations
diligently compared and revised
by his majesty’s special command
Authorized
King James Version.”
After this, the elder Fabled Girl turned to the title page of this Bible’s New Testament, and this was what she read on this page before the first page of the New Testament:
“Self-pronouncing edition
The New Testament
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of our Lord and Saviour
Jesus Christ
Translated out of the original Greek,
and with the former translations
diligently compared and
revised
Authorized King James Version
With all proper names divided into syllables
accented and marked with the vowel sounds
showing how they should be pronounced.”
In this King James Bible, the Words of God in its thousand-plus pages of Scripture verses were God-breathed through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. This was what made the King James Bible the perfect Book. The New International Version was not a true Bible. And the New King James Version was not a true Bible. The King James was the only true Bible. Gretchen knew. Destiny also knew. They had the original manuscripts in their holy closets. And the King James Commission back in 1611 had translated these manuscripts into the English language into the K.J.V. for the English language speaking people of the world. And spiritual revivals and conversions of souls and spreading of truth spread throughout America and outside of America because of this King James Bible. Gretchen Varsity had bought her Bible here upon her desk at a Christian bookstore in Iron Mountain just down the road a couple of miles beyond the Wisconsin-Upper Michigan border. And she bought her pencils and index cards and erasers for her daily Bible studies from a school supply shop in Kingsford, a city between her house and Iron Mountain, also just north of the border into the Upper Peninsula.
She then again noticed the darkness of the outside in contrast to the nice homey light inside. And she turned off her desk lamp and went out unto her back porch to see the nighttime sky that God had made for this evening. There was no moon this night. The calendar had said that it would be a new moon tonight. So she turned to the many stars and admired them in the glory of the Maker.
And she said to God in prayer, “Lord, it is written, ‘He telleth the number of the stars; he calleth them
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all by their names.’ Psalm 147:4.” Being a Bible student, Gretchen knew that by “telleth,” the Bible
meant “count.” A “tale” was a “count.” And she prayed and said, “Dear Creator, so many stars that You created, and the sum total that only You know, and so many different names You came up with to call all of them, and so great wisdom You have to remember which star has which name.”
Then in prayer, the elder Fabled Girl went on to recite all of Psalm 148—indeed the praise psalm of praise psalms in the Bible. This was the only whole chapter in the Bible that Gretchen Varsity had memorized in its entirety. Otherwise all of her other memorizing was single verses or strings of more than one verse, even parts of chapters. Here was what she said from the Word of God unto her Heavenly Father as she looked into the night sky of Wisconsin’s countryside’s isolation from her northeast balcony out back:
“Praise ye the Lord. Praise ye the Lord from the heavens: praise him in the heights.
Praise ye him, all his angels: praise ye him, all his hosts.
Praise ye him, sun and moon: praise him, all ye stars of light.
Praise him, ye heavens of heavens, and ye waters that be above the heavens.
Let them praise the name of the Lord: for he commanded, and they were created.
He hath also stablished them for ever and ever: he hath made a decree which shall
not pass.
Praise the Lord from the earth, ye dragons, and all deeps:
Fire and hail; snow and vapours; stormy wind fulfilling his word:
Mountains, and all hills; fruitful trees, and all cedars;
Beasts, and all cattle; creeping things, and flying fowl:
Kings of the earth, and all people; princes, and all judges of the earth:
Both young men, and maidens; old men, and children:
Let them praise the name of the Lord: for his name alone is excellent; his glory
is above the earth and heaven.
He also exalteth the horn of his people, the praise of all his saints: even of the
children of Israel, a people near unto him. Praise ye the Lord.”
Having prayed this exultant praise Psalm, Gretchen Varsity, the elder cheerleader twin, then got out her hymn book and sang a lot of praise psalms from the church hymnbook. And she continued worshiping until it was time to go to bed for the night. Woe, she had to take off her cheerleader uniform now. Amen, she could still get another good night’s sleep and be ready for a new day tomorrow with her cheerleader uniform back on again for all day.
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As for Destiny, this same night she was in her bedroom kneeling beside the bed, with her wall behind her. She thought to seek one of her two-hour maxing out prayers here in the dark of late night. She had started this prayer in the dark, and she was finishing up her prayer also in the dark. This younger Fabled Girl prayed better in the dark than she did in the light—either inside or outside Chez Maison. For nearly two hours in this prayer, Destiny was chatting with her Heavenly Father in great abundant praise of Him Up There. She said to Him, “I praise Thee for Thy mercy. I will never go to Hell.” And she said to Him, “I praise Thee for Thy grace. I will go to Heaven.” And she said, “I praise Thee for Thy omnipotence. There is nothing that You cannot do.” And she said, “I praise Thee for Thy omniscience. There is nothing that You do not know.” And she said, “I praise Thee for Thy omnipresence. There is no place where You are not there.” And she said, “I praise Thee for Thy agape love. You loved me even when I was still lost in my sins.” And she said, “I praise Thee for Thy holiness. Your very attribute of attributes is ‘holiness.’ You love all righteousness, and You hate all unrighteousness. Indeed you are more holy even than you are all-loving.” Caught up in the spirit of prayer rife with praise to the Almighty for these past two hours, Destiny Varsity began to sing a worship hymn she had memorized that was all about praising the Lord Almighty, singing this hymn like saying a prayer:
“1. Praise ye the Lord, the Almighty, the King of creation!
O my soul, praise Him, for He is thy health and salvation!
All ye who hear,
Now to His temple draw near;
Join me in glad adoration!
2. Praise ye the Lord, who o’er all things so wondrously reigneth,
Shelters thee under His wings, yea, so gently sustaineth!
Hast thou not seen
How thy desires e’er have been
Granted in what He ordaineth?
3. Praise ye the Lord, who with marvelous wisdom hath made thee,
Decked thee with health, and with loving hand guided and stayed thee;
How oft in grief
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Hath not He brought thee relief,
Spreading His wings for to shade thee!
4. Praise ye the Lord! O let all that is in me adore Him!
All that hath life and breath, come now with praises before Him!
Let the Amen
Sound from His people again;
Gladly for aye we adore Him.”
In this prayer of praise, and after her hymn of praise, the younger Fabled Girl went on to recite in this fervent and effectual prayer two Bible verses that were parallels to each other. They told Destiny how to praise the Lord even in her battles against the dragons of the world. In this prayer in the dark bedroom of night, the younger cheerleader quoted to God from the Bible, “And Lord, it is written in I Chronicles 16:35, ‘And say ye, Save us, O God of our salvation, and gather us together, and deliver us from the heathen, that we may give thanks to thy holy name, and glory in thy praise.’ And again, O God, is it written in Psalm 106:47, ‘Save us, O Lord our God, and gather us from among the heathen, to
give thanks unto thy holy name, and to triumph in thy praise.’”
And Destiny Varsity finished her prayer. Behold, this time prayer lasted two-and-one-quarter hours! Such prayers of this duration were so few for this great prayer-warrior that she could count such prayers on the fingers of her two hands. She called two-hour-and-fifteen-minute prayers, “mega-prayers.” She had never had a two-and-one-half-hour prayer. Those would be for her for in Heaven, she did daydream in reverie now. Indeed prayers of any duration in Heaven would be face-to-face with her Saviour. She longed for the rapture of the believers. There were no dragons in Heaven.
Well now it was almost bedtime for the basketball cheerleader. The bad thing about going to bed was having to take off her varsity cheerleader uniform. But the good thing about getting up out of bed was putting on her varsity cheerleader uniform once again for the day. No cheerleader wanted to put wrinkles in her uniform by sleeping in it all night. And even cheerleaders were not going to be comfortable in bed with all of those clothes on under the covers. And, so, with a “Thank You, Lord, for
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this day and for this night,” the Fabled Girl Destiny turned in for the night.
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CHAPTER II
The Fabled Girls were riding their winged pets in the skies above, admiring the area from up in the skies. Gretchen was riding her pet he-unicorn Majesty; Destiny, her pet he-griffin Highness.
“Look over there, good boy,” said Gretchen to Majesty. “Do you see that?”
“The sign says, ‘Ball and Christy,’” said Majesty.
“I see that sign lots,” said Gretchen. “What do you suppose it is?”
And Majesty said, “I believe that it is a furniture store.”
“It sounds more like a magician’s shop,” said Gretchen.
“I get it,” said Destiny. “’Ball and Christy’…’crystal ball.’”
“Mistress,” said Highness. “Do you see the big ski jump down there? What a hill!”
“Ah,” said Destiny. “The Pine Mountain ski jump.”
“It looks weird seeing that in the summer,” said Gretchen.
“Even way up north here like this it is not snow all year round,” said Majesty.
“Jerry Martin won the ski jump championship here that one Winter,” said Destiny.
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“Jerry Martin. Yes,” said Highness. Then he said, “Do you know how I can remember his name, Mistress?”
“Tell me,” said Destiny.
“By mixing the names of the comedians Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin,” said Highness.
“You could accidentally come up with ‘Dean Lewis,’” said Majesty, and the he-unicorn laughed.
“That killed me,” said Highness in sarcasm. And the four laughed out loud together at Majesty’s wit.
“Jerry Martin was good,” said Destiny.
“That he was,” said Gretchen.
Then Gretchen said, “There’s the Co-Op.”
“Our little grocery store in town,” said Destiny.
“I buy Lollys there,” said Gretchen.
“And I buy root beer barrels there,” said Destiny.
“Mistress,” said Majesty, “do the rest of us know what you told me the other day?”
“Oh, I’ve got to tell you guys what happened to me at the Co-Op the other day,” said Gretchen.
“He he he,” laughed Majesty. “It happened to a cheerleader.”
“What happened, Big Sis?’” asked Destiny.
And Majesty said, “She was in the store bathroom way in the back, the number two job, as you people call it. And the manager of the store, a woman kind of elderly and kind of not, wanted to go in and use the same bathroom. She did not know that it was occupied.”
Gretchen went on to say, “I heard the two of them talking outside the door as I sat. I could hear Majesty saying, ‘My mistress is in there.’”
Majesty said, “But the lady did not understand.”
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“And I saw her come right in,” said Gretchen. “What an accident that was.”
“I saw it all happen,” said Majesty.
“She was so surprised, and she quickly apologized,” said Gretchen.
“Poor woman,” said Majesty. “Poor mistress,” he also said.
To this, clever Destiny said, “Most people, when they have bathroom accidents, do not make it to the bathroom, Big Sister. But you had your bathroom accident in the bathroom.”
“Very funny, Little Sis,’” said Gretchen. And all four here in the skies laughed together.
Then Highness said, “Mistress, you had a kind of accident just the other day.”
“I did?” asked Destiny.
“I was with you,” said Highness.
“Oh yes,” said Destiny. “The sheriff of Florence County.”
“It was a good thing that he believed you,” said Highness.
“And it was all true, too,” said Destiny in innocence.
“What happened between you and the sheriff?” asked Gretchen.
“It seems that my mistress had a sign in her hand that belonged affixed to the telephone pole,” said Highness.
Destiny said, “It read ‘High voltage above. Keep off.’”
And Highness said, “My mistress took an instant liking to that sign, and she took it for herself, and she showed it to the sheriff who was going by on the road.”
Gretchen spoke and said, “What did the sheriff have to say about that?”
And Destiny said, “I told him that I found it in the grass beside the road and that I picked it up off of the ground.”
“And that was the truth,” said Highness.
Destiny said, “The good sheriff knew that I was a Christian and that I was not a girl who told
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lies, and he believed me.”
“You were still lucky,” said Gretchen.
“It’s in my desk drawer right now,” said Destiny.
“Mistress, do be careful next time you see a road sign lying around next to the road,” said Highness.
“I think so now,” said Destiny.
“Guys,” said Gretchen, “there’s our old grade school.” They all looked down and saw Hillcrest School, and that brought back memories for the two Fabled Girls.
Destiny said, “I remember those days. We of the older grades had one section of the school for our classrooms, and they of the younger grades had another section of the school for their classrooms.”
“Little Sister, remember Schneider’s junkyard and their electromagnetic crane?” asked Gretchen.
“Yeah. I do,” said Destiny.
“What about this crane, Mistress?” asked Majesty.
“From our classroom and through its big windows we all could see the crane busy at work right next to our school,” said Gretchen.
“It was the same windows where one of the boys in the playground accidentally knocked his head against them and broke the glass,” said Destiny.
“And he laughed. We did not laugh,” said Gretchen.
“He was okay, though,” said Destiny. “And we were all relieved.”
“Mistress, I remember now how you used to collect trinkets along the side of the school from the ground,” said Majesty.
“Yes!” said Gretchen. “Along the side of the road between the school and the junkyard.”
“Little treasures lying around that had come from the place with the crane,” said Destiny.
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“I called those little mounds ‘Treasure Mountain,’” said Gretchen in reminiscence.
“And you brought these little pieces home,” said Destiny.
“Springs and metal slugs and coils and loops of copper wire among many of them,” said Highness.
“Most of them rusty,” said Majesty.
“I had most unique fun at Hillcrest School,” said Gretchen.
“So did I,” said Destiny.
“You and your somersaults out back behind the school,” said Gretchen.
“Mistress, most girls do not like to get dizzy. Doing that makes them sick inside the belly,” said Highness. “But not you. You liked to get dizzy, and it did not make your belly sick.”
“I kind of wish that I still did that,” said Destiny. “But a thirty-three-year old woman does not do the same things that a little girl does.”
“That was before we twin sisters even had our cheerleader uniforms way back then, Little Sister,” said Gretchen.
Then Majesty spoke and said, “Mistress, Destiny, Highness, do you see the Dickinson County Library down below?”
And the three looked down upon it. Gretchen said, “The librarian’s name is ‘Mrs. Caruso.’”
“I have an easy way to remember that name,” said Destiny. “Just think of the name, ‘Crusoe.’ as in ‘Robinson Crusoe.’”
“When all we kids were still living at home with Mom and Dad, I used to check out books from there and go home and read them as I sat upon the big propane tank out back behind the garage,” said Gretchen. “It was a cozy place for a girl to read a book.”
“The books that I checked out from the library when we were all at home yet, I used to read in the front yard alongside the driveway, in the grass and the yellow hawk weed and the orange hawk
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week,” said Destiny.
“Mistress,” said Highness, “down there below us now is where you get your favorite candy bar.”
“Ah, my coffee candy bar,” said Destiny. “Mm mm!”
“Kresge’s, Little Sister,” said Gretchen the name of the store below.
“My big coffee candy bar,” said the younger Fabled Girl.
“Chocolate with the flavor of coffee in it,” said Majesty. “Isn’t that what it is, Destiny?”
“Uh huh,” said Destiny with a nod. “And after I discovered that, now I have also discovered coffee, Majesty.”
“Which is better, Destiny?” asked Gretchen.
“Coffee candy bars are her favorite food, and coffee is her favorite drink,” said Highness for her.
“Doesn’t Kresge’s belong to K-Mart?” asked Majesty.
“I think so,” said Highness.
“Where does Jupiter come in?” asked Majesty. “I don’t see any Jupiter stores anywhere near us.”
“Mom told us sisters,” said Gretchen. “What K-Mart cannot sell off of their shelves, they have Kresge’s to sell off of their shelves. And what Kresge’s cannot sell off of their shelves, they have Jupiter to sell off of their shelves.”
“We in the Midwest here have many K-Marts and many Shopkos,” said Destiny.
“Green Bay alone has two K-Marts and lots of Shopkos,” said Gretchen.
“There are more people down there than there are up here by Iron Mountain and Kingsford,” said Majesty.
“And hardly anyone here in our town of Aurora,” said Highness.
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“Look what is below us now, guys,” said the elder Fabled Girl, pointing downward.
All four looked down from the skies. Destiny asked, “Isn’t that Tom and Joe’s?”
“That’s where we sisters like to eat and have our half-pound hamburgers,” said Gretchen.
“For you it is a half-pound hamburger, Big Sister,” said Destiny. “For me it is a half-pound cheeseburger.”
“And now we are over Big Jim’s,” said Majesty.
“It used to be called, ‘Dully’s den,’” said Highness.
“Now we are coming back up to the Leif Erickson Highway,” said Majesty.
“Again we are leaving Wisconsin and coming back to Upper Michigan,” said Highness.
“We are going in circles,” said the elder Fabled Girl.
“We are what one could call, ‘cruising,’ Big Sister,” said Destiny.
“I’m glad I get to cruise in the skies on you, Majesty and not have to cruise on the ground on one of those unicorns who don’t have wings,” said Gretchen to her winged unicorn.
And the younger Fabled Girl said to her griffin, “Lucky for me, Highness, that there are no such things as griffins who don’t have wings. I prefer flying to traveling on the ground.”
“I am happy to fly with you on my back, Mistress,” said Majesty.
“And I, yourself, Mistress,” agreed Highness to Destiny.
In praise of her pet unicorn, Gretchen said to him, “You are most well-known and loved by the world, Majesty. They call you ‘the he-unicorn of he-unicorns.’”
“You flatter your affectionate unicorn, Mistress,” said Majesty. “That fame given me is only because I am a Fabled Girl’s pet.”
“We are into this together, Majesty,” said his doting mistress. “You and I together have been called of God to be dragon-slayers.”
“You and your bow and arrow and me and my unicorn horn,” said Majesty. They indeed had
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slain dragons together. And they were to slay even more dragons in their ministry to the Lord in the time to come.
“I have set dragons on fire,” bragged the elder Fabled Girl. The arrows that she shot out of her bow for Christ were always flaming arrows. And she fired them on her unicorn’s back from the ground and on her unicorn’s back from the skies. And she fired them standing, and she fired them riding. She even fired them from the lakes and from the rivers.
“Let us not forget my Highness,” said Destiny.
“My ally,” said Majesty.
Destiny said, “I am blessed to have as my pet whom the world calls ‘the he-griffin of he-griffins.’ He is brave and valiant and gallant in warfare. All the world loves you and looks up to you, Highness.”
“My mistress, I defer to your own accolades. If I am famous, is it not because I am a griffin to a
Fabled Girl?” asked Highness.
“Whether that is so or not, all I can say, Highness, is that you saved my life in our battles against dragons more than once. To you in our mission for Christ, I say, ‘Thank you for having saved me from dragon fire,’” praised the younger Fabled Girl her precious griffin.
“You have your bow and arrows; and, I, my claws and paws,” said the he-griffin.
“Your archery is a great complement to my archery, Little Sis,’” Gretchen praised Destiny.
“I have poisoned many a dragon with my arrows indeed,” said Destiny in remembrances.
Highness spoke and said, “My mistress uses poisoned arrows.”
“Poison that veritably eats away at and consumes dragons in their bones and in their joints and in their muscles and in their organs, even in their scales,” proclaimed the younger Fabled Girl.
This fellowship of four in the skies above, between Florence County and Dickinson County, well knew how Gretchen set fire to her flaming arrows and how Destiny poisoned her poison arrows in
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the midst of their times of battle. Gretchen, in addition to her bow and her quiver of arrows, also had a pouch along her left hip, whose strap was slung over her right shoulder. In this pouch were a pile of loose wooden fire sticks only about three inches long with a magical head on the end. God told her to call them “matches.” Never before was such a thing as Gretchen’s matches seen on this earth. And God kept mankind from the knowledge of making them for themselves. These matches were to be used only by the elder Fabled Girl and only for the use of slaying dragons. All that the elder dragon-slayer needed to do to make her flaming arrows was to strike the match head across the metal tip of her arrow, and, lo, a fire came upon the head of this match. Then, she put the flaming head of the match to the point of her wooden arrow. And the wooden arrow tip was then set on fire. And, behold, the formidable flaming arrow of Gretchen Varsity. And with a blow from her breath, the Fabled Girl then put out the fire on the match, and she discarded it upon the ground. And she then went ahead and nocked her flaming arrow in her bowstring, drew back her bow, and aimed, and fired. And thereby she slew dragons for Jesus.
As for Destiny, how did she make her poison arrows, and what poison did she use to slay her dragons in battle? It was a substance that God had provided her with that He called, “Acidic Acid.” It had a chemical name of He2O. And it was not created in the six-day creation week of Heaven and Earth’s first days. The similar-sounding chemical H2O, as all the world knew, was the most foundational and basic and safe substance called, “Water.”. It was a molecule that consisted of two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom. And it was necessary for all life. But this chemical that God had created here in the twenty-first century—this He2O—was a molecule that consisted of two helium atoms and one oxygen atom. And it could be used to take away life. Hence the virulent poison that the Fabled Girl Destiny Varsity used for her poison arrows in her dragon battles with her artillery. This acidic acid was a chemical that ate away at the scales of dragons, then ate away at the bones and the muscles of the dragon, then ate away at the organs of the dragon. But this same acidic acid, by the
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good hand of the Maker, did not harm human flesh. And this was how she made her poisoned arrows in her battles as dragon-slayer: With her bow in her left hand and with her quiver of arrows along her back, she had also a canteen along her left hip full of this day’s He2O attached by a belt around her waist. This canteen was made of hide of leather, also impervious to He2O. She would hold her bow in her left hand, draw an arrow from her quiver with her right hand, and with this same right hand slide open the canteen’s spout along her left hip with a push from her thumb, then with her same right hand dip the arrow head into the hole of the canteen. Thereby her arrow became a poison arrow. Then she would slide back shut the spout with another push of her thumb. And she would nock the arrow in her bowstring, draw back her bowstring, aim, and fire. And her poisoned arrow would smite the great dragon demon, and he would perish in battle.
How did Gretchen keep her flaming arrows from burning up their own bow? How did Destiny keep her poison from poisoning their own pets? They had prayed about just this very thing. And God answered their prayers and promised them a vow. To Gretchen, God told her, “I will protect your bow and arrow from fire with my guardian angel.” And to Destiny, God told her, “I will cover Majesty and Highness with My hand.” And with God’s providence, the Fabled Girls were not harmed by their
enhanced arrows wrought of the Lord, and the pets their allies were not hurt by the fire and the acid.
After a long trip of cruising in the skies of the north country, the twin cheerleaders became weary of flight. They were home now. Just below them was their palatial Chez Maison.
And Destiny said, “I’m getting tired up here.”
And Gretchen said, “I wish to stand upon solid ground again.”
To Destiny, Highness said, “I am ever at your service, O Mistress.”
And Majesty said to Gretchen, “I shall take you back down, my good mistress.”
And the two pets of flight spread their great wings and glided downward in a gentle spiral and lighted upon the ground in the front yard. And the women dismounted.
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The football cheerleader and the basketball cheerleader looked at each other. The pets looked at their mistresses, and the mistresses looked at their pets.
And the pets said, “Let’s see some cheers for Jesus.”
And the twin cheerleaders said to each other, “Let’s go and get our pom poms.”
And the Fabled Girls ran into Chez Maison and came back out to the front yard with their large blue and red pom poms to cheer Christ before their captive audience of two.
Gretchen and Destiny asked their pets, “Do you want us to sing hymns or carols or choruses or regular cheers?”
And Majesty said, “Choruses!”
And Highness said, “Like in Baptist Sunday School songs.”
“We know all of them,” said Gretchen.
“Pastor has us at church sing them in adult Sunday School every Sunday,” said Destiny.
“Cheer, good Mistress!” said Highness.
“Cheer on!” said Majesty.
And Gretchen went first. She began to shake her pom poms with the most resonant swishing of much papers, and she sang forth this melody with its proper tune:
“Deep and wide. Deep and wide.
There’s a fountain flowing deep and wide.
Wide and deep. Wide and deep.
There’s a fountain flowing wide and deep.”
“Amen!” said Majesty.
“Encore!” said Highness.
Destiny then went second. She put her arms akimbo, holding her pom poms against her hips. Then she kicked up her leg, brought it back down, spread her arms out, and shook her pom poms steady in her outstretched hands. And as she did this, amid the swishing of her cheerleader’s main accessories,
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she sang forth this nice Sunday School song:
“The b-l-o-o-d
That Jesus shed for me
His life He gave
My soul to save
The b-l-o-o-d.”
“Praise Jesus, Mistress!” said Highness.
“Bravo!” said Majesty.
Then it was Gretchen’s turn again. And she began to pirouette and to shake her arms and her hands and her pom poms about above her head, and she began to sing another good Baptist church song for children:
“Do Lord. Do Lord. Do You remember me?
Do Lord. Do Lord. Do You remember me?
Do Lord. Do Lord. Do You remember me?
Way beyond the blue!”
“Yes! Yes! Mistress!” called forth Majesty, loving the cheer leading and the song of God.
“Love it!” called out Highness.
Now once again Destiny began to cheer for her captive audience again. Holding on to her pom poms in both hands against her front, she went and did a cartwheel, landing agilely upon her sneakers. And she then went and did another cartwheel, this time holding her pom poms in both hands against her back, landing adeptly upon her sneakers again. And she sang her cheer for Jesus:
“This little light of mine
I’m going to let it shine.
This little light of mine
I’m going to let it shine.
This little light of mine
I’m going to let it shine.
Let it shine! Let it shine! Let it shine!”
“Glory! Glory!” said Highness.
And Majesty tooted a note of commendation upon his unicorn horn.
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Then Gretchen began to kick up first her right leg, then her left leg. And she continued her cheer dance thus. And as she did so she held her arms straight down at her sides, her fingers holding her pom poms. And she began to shake her pom poms along the sides of her legs. And she sang this song of God as she did all of this:
“He’s got the whole world in His hands.
He’s got the whole wide world in His hands.
He’s got the whole world in His hands.
He’s got the whole world in His hands.”
Then Gretchen stopped her song and her kicks and her shaking of pom poms. And she tossed both pom poms up into the air above her head, spun in place three hundred sixty degrees, and caught her pom poms in each hand.
“Very well done, Mistress!” said Majesty.
“Wow!” said Highness.
Then Destiny went and did her cheer for this moment. She held up her pom poms in each hand above her head at a ten o-clock position and a two o’clock position. And she began to twirl them about with her wrist, keeping her arms steady and straight. And she shook her hips about where she stood, swaying in dance from side to side. And she began to skip about in place with her sneakers. And she went on to sing this Sunday School song well-known throughout Christendom:
“Jesus loves me! this I know,
For the Bible tells me so;
Little ones to Him belong,
They are weak, but He is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.”
“Alleluia, Mistress!” said Highness.
“Yes! Alleluia from me, too,” said Majesty.
The cheerleader twins were becoming a little weary now. The trip in the skies was fun, but
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somewhat tiring. And this cheer leading was even more fun, but now their voices were getting a little hoarse. And it had been a good day, but they wanted to get alone with God now. But the cheerleaders wanted to wait for just a little bit more cheer leading for them to do for Jesus, before going to their bedrooms for quiet time alone with their Heavenly Father.
Their beloved pets and confidants could see all of this written in the Fabled Girls’ faces. And Highness said to Destiny, “Encore, Mistress!”
And Majesty said to Gretchen, “One more cheer!”
And the cheerleaders for the Lord would not turn down these requests. They looked at each other. And they could read each other’s faces most manifestly, themselves being identical twins. They agreed in their eyes to do this last cheer together as a duo. What better cheer song now than the ever-popular chorus of Psalm 89:1? Throwing down their pom poms to the ground, and standing side by side, they put their arms along each other’s shoulders, Destiny’s right arm along Gretchen, and Gretchen’s left arm along Destiny. And they began to do a classic cheerleader dance in unison: first they bent their right knees and raised their right legs and set them back down; then they bent their left knees and raised their left legs and set them back down; then they straightened out their right legs and kicked up their right legs and set them back down; then they straightened out their left legs and kicked up their left legs and set them back down. And they continued prancing this cheer leader’s dance, singing this Godly melody as follows:
“I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever,
I will sing, I will sing,
I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever,
I will sing of the mercies of the Lord.
With my mouth will I make known,
Thy faithfulness, Thy faithfulness,
With my mouth will I make known
Thy faithfulness to all generations.
I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever,
I will sing of the mercies of the Lord.”
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Then the cheerleader twins for God finished their song and their dance and their performance with a grand finale of today’s last cheer for their pets by shaking their hips about where they stood.
Gretchen shook her box pleats about her hips. Destiny shook her knife pleats about her hips.
“Mistress, Flanders would have loved to see this grand finish,” said Majesty. Flanders was Gretchen’s Christian boyfriend.
And Highness went and said, “My mistress, too bad your Proffery was not here to see this that you just did!” Proffery was Destiny’s special Christian boyfriend.
Happy in the Lord, these Fabled Twins thanked their beloved pets, picked up their pom poms, and skipped into the Chez Maison to read their Bibles and to pray to their Heavenly Father in their bedrooms. And the he-unicorn and the he-griffin went to their stables to get some rest from their flight today in the skies.
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CHAPTER III
Flanders Nickels and Proffery Coins, best friends and roommates and brothers-in-the-Lord, were out in their backyard, practicing their swordplay with their pets. The two masters and their two pets lived in the Cubed-House, a three-story mansion of equal width and length and height. Flanders and his pet, which was a she-unicorn, lived in the third floor. Proffery and his pet, which was a she-griffin, lived in the second floor. And the first floor was the den, the biggest private library of all of Wisconsin and Upper Michigan. Flanders’s pet unicorn was named “Invincible.” And Proffery’s griffin pet he named “Indomitable.” The she-unicorn and the she-griffin were unconquerable in battle.
And their masters were their captains. The Lord called these four to serve Him as dragon-slayers.
Flanders used a long curved brass sword that was double-edged from tip to handle. And Proffery used a long straight copper sword that was also double-edged from tip to handle. All of the world knew these two sword fighters and their pets. Flanders’s sword was called, “Slaughter-Blade.” and he was called the “Sword Fighter of the Occident.” His pet Invincible was called by all, “the she-unicorn of she-unicorns.” As for Proffery, his sword was called “Massacre-Blade,” and he was called officially
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the “Sword Fighter of the North.” His pet Indomitable was well known as “the she-griffin-of-she-griffins.”
It was said by their neighbors that the battle training that these four dragon slayers practiced here behind their Cubed-House was as fierce as very dragon battles themselves. The masters trained with the masters. The pets trained with the pets. Flanders trained with his pet. And Proffery trained with his pet. The sword fighters trained by themselves. The pets trained by themselves. Flanders broke rocks with Slaughter-Blade. Proffery felled trees with Massacre-Blade. Invincible broke down brick walls built by her master for such practices, doing so with her unicorn horn. And Indomitable snatched rocks out of the air thrown by her master, by use of her eagle talons. All of these war games and more did these four soldiers-for-Christ do so that they could be the best that they could be for the Lord.
Where did Flanders get his fell curved Slaughter-Blade? God had called him and his she-unicorn on a long journey to go and find it in the far west of the Occident. Where else would the soon-to-be Swordsman of the Occident find his sword other than in the Occident? Indeed, where God had this curved sword waiting for him was as far west as west could go in this Earth. God led Flanders by a pillar of cloud by day and by a pillar of fire by night. When the pillar moved, the man and his winged unicorn moved. When the pillar did not move, the man and his winged unicorn did not move. When the pillar moved across the ground, Flanders rode Invincible, galloping across the ground. When the pillar ascended and moved across the air, Flanders rode Invincible, flying above the ground. Wherever God led them with this divine pillar, Flanders and his she-unicorn followed with no hesitation, no doubts, and no lack of faith.
It had all started when Flanders was in a fervent prayer-meeting with his Invincible in their third floor prayer-room. Flanders felt himself an unworthy believer who had not yet found his job in Christ.
He loved to pray. He loved to read his King James Bible. He loved to go to church. He loved to go on
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dates with Gretchen. He loved playing rough-and-tumble games with Invincible. And he loved to go out knocking on doors and spreading the good news of the Gospel. But he had not yet found his official calling of the Lord that would identify him as a servant of the Lord. What could he do that others out there dared not do for Christ? What did he want himself to be known as? What did God want Him to be known for? What did God have that He desired only for him? In this manner, Flanders Nickels prayed his prayer meeting with Invincible in his Cubed-House for over an hour, basically promising his Heavenly Father, “Tell me how You wish me to honor, glorify, praise You in my life in the one way You wish the most for me to honor, glorify, praise You.”
And after this prayer in this prayer meeting with his she-unicorn, it was her turn to pray. And she prayed for her master for over a half-hour, basically saying to the Good Lord in many ways, “Whatever You call my master to do, I pray that You call me with his same calling, that we may serve You together as master and pet.”
And God answered their prayers just as soon as Invincible closed her prayer with an “Amen.”
Behold, a gray dragon going by, breathing out fire and smoke and brimstone just outside of their third-story windows.
“Master!” cried out the young Invincible. “Is that what I think it is?”
“A real dragon!” exclaimed Flanders.
“What’s a dragon doing here in this part of the world?” asked Invincible.
“He is a demon,” said Flanders. “The Devil must have sent that gray dragon here on Satan’s business.”
“What does a gray dragon want here in Wisconsin?” asked Invincible.
“Probably something that God Himself values,” said Flanders.
“Master, what are we saying? Do we two not see this gray dragon as an answer to our prayers just now?” asked the winged she-unicorn.
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“I just wish that gray dragon were dead,” said Flanders. He then pondered God’s hand in this.
So, too, did Invincible. Then Flanders said, “Somebody should slay that dragon.”
“He’s gone now, Master,” said Invincible about that gray dragon. “But I wouldn’t be surprised were he to come back.”
“If only we could slay that gray dragon,” said Flanders.
“He was a little one,” said Invincible. “Not much bigger than just a wyvern.”
Behold, this little gray dragon came back for trouble with the Christian man and his pet unicorn.
And this gray dragon swung his tail and knocked in the windows of this prayer room with a shattering of much glass.
“Master, he’s after us,” said Invincible.
“I’ll get him for that!” vowed Flanders. And he ran to his kitchen and took out a butcher knife, and he and ran back to this prayer room. He saw this small gray dragon now actually in the house! There stood Invincible, ready to lunge. And Flanders took a hold of this butcher knife in both hands. And then this little gray dragon puffed smoke out of his nostrils and from between his closed jaws. He was about to open his jaws and shoot out fire in the house! Allies in battle for their first time, Flanders came in upon this gray dragon with his butcher knife just as Invincible came upon this gray dragon with her unicorn horn.
The butcher knife went right into the left side of the neck of the gray dragon. The unicorn horn went right into the right side of the neck of the dragon. And the fire never left the dragon’s mouth. And this dragon’s last words were, “I was supposed to go after the manuscripts of the Chez Maison.” Then he fell dead upon the floor with a shaking of the Cubed-House.
And Flanders and his she-unicorn now knew why this dragon was in their neighborhood.
“Whoa, girl,” said Flanders in disbelief. “We have just slain a dragon!”
“I never did such a thing as this before, Master,” said Invincible.
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“I’m not sure what to make of this,” said Flanders.
“Nor do I, Master,” confessed his pet unicorn.
“It was good in the eyes of the Lord that we did this,” said Flanders.
“I believe that,” said Invincible.
“Maybe there are other dragons that will come here for us to slay,” said Flanders.
“Or maybe, Master, there are other dragons that we must come to to slay,” said Invincible.
“That must be our calling,” said Flanders. “Is this what God has for you and me to do, girl?”
“I do think so now,” said Invincible.
“Am I supposed to use butcher knives to slay dragons for my ministry?” asked Flanders.
“I would think God would have a more official weapon for battle for His dragon-slayer,” said Invincible.
“Whatever that weapon would be, I sure would like to find it,” said Flanders.
Just then a pillar of cloud came into this prayer-room where the dead dragon lay. “Master, what a strange cloud in here now all of a sudden.”
“Invincible, it is the Lord’s leading,” said Flanders.
“We must follow this pillar,” said the she-unicorn in understanding.
“This pillar will lead us to the weapon that God wills for me in my high calling as dragon-slayer.” said Flanders.
Then the pillar of cloud by this day left the room and went back outside and began to travel. “There it goes, Master. We must follow God,” said Invincible.
“We are three stories up,” said Flanders. “What can I do?”
“Why, hop on my back, Master,” said Invincible.
“Of course,” said Flanders in reproof of himself. And he mounted his winged she-unicorn, flew out of the broken window ways, and followed the pillar of cloud by day which was a pillar of fire by
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night.
God’s pillar of smoke of the day led Flanders and his Invincible due west and up north to the very Bering Sea, the outer edges of the western world. Then, following the pillar of fire of the night, the rider and his winged unicorn came upon Alaska’s Aleutian Islands. They were now at the very utter ends of the western hemisphere. Then God’s fiery pillar led the rider and his winged unicorn upon an island that God called “One Hundred Eighty Degrees West Longitude.” They were now as far west as a man and his unicorn could get in this Earth. Following the pillar, man and she-unicorn lighted upon the ground.
And the pillar made its final stop. They were here. Flanders was where God had sent him. But where was the weapon to slay dragons? Invincible spoke and said, “I don’t see anything yet, Master. But I know that our God will show us what He has for you soon.”
And Flanders said, “There are times when a believer needs to act in the Lord; and there are times when a believer simply need only wait for the Lord.”
The pillar of fire began to change slowly into a pillar of smoke. Night was waning. Day was waxing.
Invincible then said to her master, “I would say that God sent us here to Alaska, because only here can He answer our prayer the way He wills.”
“And I would say also that He wanted us to prove ourselves to ourselves and to let us see where we really stand in the Lord in going on a long journey like this on a lark,” said Flanders.
“I think that we did good, Master. You and I,” said Invincible.
“I myself am glad that I came all of this way,” said Flanders. “It is always best to obey God.”
“God commanded us to come here, and we came here,” said the she-unicorn.
“It is written, ‘If ye love me, keep my commandments.’ John 14:15,” said Flanders.
“We both love God, O Master,” said Invincible.
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“It is written again, ‘Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.’ John 15:14,” said
Flanders.
“We both are God’s friends,” said Invincible.
Just then a calling forth from above from a great bird of prey came down upon their ears here on the shores of this One Hundred Eighty Degrees West Longitude. They looked up. Behold, an American Bald Eagle in all of his majesty and in all of his glory. This great bird of God was carrying something in his mighty talons. The Christian and his unicorn pet in great awe stared in wonder and marvel as this Bald Eagle descended in a slow spiraling glide down toward where they stood.
Her eyes more acute than her master’s, Invincible said, “It’s a box, Master. It’s a wooden box that he is carrying with him.”
Not long later, the great Bald Eagle lighted upon the ground before them. With his two claws full of talons, he set the box upon its flat side. Then he flew off. God had sent him. Now God had sent him away.
Flanders stood there for a moment, and he said, “It looks like a box that could contain a pool stick yet separated in its two halves.”
“Nay. I would say that it looks more like a box that could contain a set of fireplace tools not yet put together on its stand, Master,” said Invincible.
Then the pillar left them for good.
“We are not alone,” said Flanders in good faith here in this most isolated island.
“God is still with us,” agreed his she-unicorn.
“Well, let’s open the box, girl,” said Flanders Nickels.
“Remember, it is to be the weapon that we were praying about,” said Invincible.
“Yeah. Now we will find out what kind of weapon best slays dragons,” said Flanders.
The two came up to this wooden box. Flanders pulled latches and opened clasps and turned
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levers. And he opened it.
Behold, a saber.
It was curved, double-edged all the way across, made of shiny brilliant brass, and measured about four feet long, plus its brass haft. And also beside the sword was a sheath of a most rare wood. His she-unicorn ascertained this scabbard to be made of snake wood.
“This can positively slaughter a dragon, O Invincible!” declared the master.
“It is a veritable slaughter-blade, Master,” said the pet unicorn.
“That will be what it is called for now on, girl,” said Flanders. “I shall call this brass saber ‘Slaughter-Blade.’”
“Put it on, Master, and let’s see the new you,” said Invincible.
And the apprentice dragon slayer donned his new curved sword in its sheath along his left hip, and he said, “How does your master look?”
“Like he is already a journeyman dragon slayer,” bragged his unicorn on him.
“I shall train and become a craftsman dragon slayer,” he said in the will of the Lord.
And here he was now, years later, after many training sessions in preparation for his calling. And there was no sword fighter like unto him in all of the Occident. And dragons feared Flanders Nickels. And dragons feared his unicorn ally. And the Devil hated this mighty soldier-for-Christ. And Flanders was accounted a great man of God.
Now what about his roommate? How did God give Proffery his renowned sword? Proffery was to be accounted the greatest sword fighter of the north. With his destiny thus yet ahead of him, the Good Lord did send him and his she-griffin to the farthest north of the north to get his sword. Unlike his roommate in his younger days, Proffery in his younger days already hated dragons with the hate that God had for dragons. He saw all dragons as the demons that they were. When the Devil always went and did his work, he always sent a dragon to do it for him. The demons of Earth—these evil
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dragons in all of their solid colors—all lived and traveled about in the skies above the ground. When the Devil and one-third of the angels had rebelled against God Almighty in the dawn of time, God did turn them all into dragons. And He cast these demons out of Heaven down unto the earth. The term “the third heaven” means “Heaven from Where God rules on His throne and the eternal Paradise of all the good angels and of all the saints.” The term “the second heaven” means what mankind calls “space, or outer space,” the home of the stars and the planets and the moons. The term “the first heaven” means “the atmosphere above the planet Earth” where the birds and the clouds and the winds are found. It was here in the first heaven where God did cast the Devil and his demon dragons out of the third Heaven in Lucifer’s great fall into pride. And the dragons tempted mankind, killed mankind, lied to mankind, deceived mankind, persecuted mankind, and hated mankind. This was because the Maker had created mankind to be in His image, to glorify Him, and to worship Him, and to rule over the animal kingdom. So the Devil, in his war against God, also declared war against mankind. When a believer died and went to Heaven, the Devil was unhappy. When an unbeliever died and went to Hell, the Devil was happy. When an unsaved person got saved, the Devil was unhappy. When an unsaved person rejected the Gospel, the Devil was happy. And the two types of humankind whom the Devil most persecuted were God’s people the Jews and God’s children the Christians. And when Satan delegated a responsibility to one of his dragons, he would simply say to one of them, “Go down and do something bad.” And the Devil told that demon what kind of bad thing to do in the Earth for him. And that dragon went and did that. Proffery, in his early years as a born-again Christian, prayed daily for the believers whom were near and dear to him. He had seen devout believers fall into sin. He had seen faithful brothers become silent about Christ. He had seen fellow Baptists become prodigal sons and prodigal daughters. He even saw the murder of the assistant pastor of his church. This was all the work of the dragons. Truly it was a yellow dragon who was the one who personally slew the assistant pastor himself. So much bad had this young Proffery seen as a babe in Christ that was the handiwork
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of the dragons directly that he wanted to become a dragon-slayer when he grew up. He was righteously indignant of all demons. And in his prayer life of intercessions for the believers, he soon started a prayer life of asking God if He would will him to slay griffins for a ministry. And God right away said, “Yes.” But God followed this affirmation with the command, “Wait for now.” This only made Proffery pray all the harder—both for the church people and for his future life as dragon-slayer. God needed to continue His work with him before He were to send him out on the battlefields. And Proffery learned the fruit of the Spirit called “patience.” He had to hold himself back and not get ahead of God. Though he wanted to go and buy himself an armory of weapons and go out and kill demons at his own boyhood yet, he had to wait till he grew up into a man first. And he waited upon the all-wise God with much good and humble longsuffering. In the end it was good that he did not disobey the Lord and stockpile an armory. He was to find out that God needed him to have but only one single weapon for his future ministry. And it, of course, was a sword. And it was also good that he did not disobey the Lord and go after a dragon before his time. He saw a white dragon one day who was having wicked fun burning up little trees in a city park with his dragon fire. Proffery was at that time without a sword yet. But when he saw what this demon was doing—vandalizing a beautiful park—he wanted to run up to him and choke him with his bare hands. Proffery was twelve years old then. And he knew that God told him to yet leave all dragons alone then. He stood before this white dragon. And this dragon said to him, “Do you have a problem with me, little boy?” Proffery submitted all of his will to the Holy Spirit that indwelt him, and he simply said to this demon, “The Lord rebuke you.” And God rebuked this dragon, and this dragon fled in haste away from the young Proffery. And right away Proffery prayed and thanked God for so great deliverance. If he had sought to assault the dragon instead of letting God do it for him, he would most probably have been burned to death by this mischievous dragon. And Proffery knew: God did not sent boys to fight men’s battles. And Jesus was well-pleased with this young Proffery. And with this great victory in the Lord, God began now to answer his
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prayer. Yes, it was his destiny to become a future dragon slayer. And yes, it was time for him to find his sword from God and to start training with it. And yes, his pet she-griffin Indomitable was to be his comrade in battle not too long from now. And God would send young Proffery Coins to the north of the north to find his great saber wrought of God.
He was thirteen years old when God called Proffery and his she-griffin on the journey north.
Proffery was roughhousing with his griffin at the time in play and in prelude to battle practice. She kept throwing him upon the ground in play, but he kept getting back up. And after a while, she grew fatigued with this and had to take a break. The teenager would just not give up. And then he grabbed her by her shoulders and managed to make her fall upon her side. She laughed. He smiled. “I got you this time, Indomitable,” he said.
And she said, “If you fight dragons the way you wrestle with your griffin, you will be the greatest dragon-slayer among men, Master.”
“Once I get my sword,” he said.
“Yes. Once you get your sword,” she agreed.
They both got to their feet, breathing hard after this little martial arts match, and then the geese came. It was a flock of them. They were Canadian Geese. And they were in their traditional V-Shape formation. They were traveling north for the summer. Boy and griffin watched them as they began to fly by overhead.
“I wish I could fly,” said Proffery.
“I am glad that I can fly,” said Indomitable.
“I am so happy when I can ride you in the skies,” said the young master.
“Those geese make a griffin wish to follow them to far away places,” said the she griffin pet.
“To fly away up north would be like going to Heaven for me now,” said Proffery in reverie.
“We should follow them, Master—you and I– right now,” said Indomitable.
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“It would have to be God’s will before I go and do something like that,” said Proffery.
“Well, Master, quick pray now before they are gone,” said Indomitable about the migrating Canadian Geese overhead. “The best way to understand God’s will for something like this is to pray.”
“Indomitable!” exclaimed Proffery.
“Yes, Master?” asked the pet griffin.
“I see twenty-five geese in the left part of the ‘V,’ and I see twenty-five geese in the right part of the ‘V,’” said Proffery Coins.
“You mean both lines have twenty-five Canadian Geese in them?” asked the surprised griffin.
“Uh huh, girl,” ascertained young Proffery.
“I never saw before anywhere when geese fly north or south for the year that both lines of the ‘V’ have the same number of geese in them,” said Indomitable. “That’s not a natural thing to happen.”
“I should say that it is a supernatural thing to happen,” said Proffery.
“It is an act of God,” said the she-griffin.
“Should I pray?” asked Proffery.
“I do believe that God is already answering your prayer, Master,” said Indomitable.
In mutual understanding, Proffery said, “We can follow the Canadian Geese and escape to the world of the north, girl.”
“Nay, Master. I dare say that God is using these geese to lead you to your dragon-slaying sword,” declared the she-griffin pet.
“You are sure, girl?” asked Proffery.
“I am sure, Master,” said the griffin pet.
“They are getting away from us,” said Proffery.
“Hop onto my back, my master,” said Indomitable. “I am a griffin, and griffins fly faster than do geese. We can quickly catch up to them and from there follow them to where God wants us.”
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“Let us fly to the north of the Earth,” sang forth Proffery in joy of the Lord. And he mounted his Indomitable, and she quickly ascended, and the two future dragon-slayers of God followed this most God-sent flock of Canadian Geese due north from here.
This flock of geese led the two travelers across Upper Michigan and up to Lake Superior, and then from Lake Superior and up to Hudson Bay, and then from Hudson Bay and up to Baffin Bay, and then from Baffin Bay and up to the Arctic Ocean. Then, at long last, and after great fatigue came to griffin and rider, they lighted upon the center of the North Pole. It was good to be standing upon solid ground again both for flier and rider.
The Canadian Geese were walking about upon the ice of the Arctic here all around them. Indomitable said, “This is cold up here, even in summer.”
Proffery said, shivering, “I need a Winter coat, girl.”
Just then a man called out from nearby, saying, “Good fellow, good griffin, come into my humble home and get warm and comfortable. You and your griffin I do welcome to the North Pole in the hospitality of the Good Lord Jesus. I have been expecting you two.”
“Thank you, good sir,” said Proffery and his griffin pet.
And this denizen of the North Pole led the two journeyers into a warm and cozy and albeit small log cabin. There was a fireplace with a big fire along each of the four walls of this cabin. In front of the fireplace to the south was a sofa for two. That, this stranger told them, was for his two visitors of this day. In front of the fireplace to the west was a wooden rocking chair. This stranger told them that this was for himself. In front of the fireplace to the east was a bugle resting upon a little tall square table. This, the gracious guest told them, was to summon his geese family of fifty home for the summer from the other side of the world. And in front of the fireplace to the north was a black case like unto a trombone case. This, he told them, was not for a trombone.
“Shall we sit and rest and talk about the Lord?” this gracious host asked them.
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“Indeed, sir,” said Proffery. “Fellowship would be a most pleasing thing to do after having been up in the cold skies for so long.”
And the three sat in their designated places in this cabin.
“My name is Regal Royal,” said this man. “The Lord told me in His still small voice that I was going to have two very important visitors coming from Wisconsin today. And I made preparations.” Hence the four burning fires in the four fireplaces here in the coldest place in the north.
“Do you know us then, Regal Royal?” asked Proffery. “Do you know why we have come?”
“I do not know you two yet, but I do know why you have come,” said this Regal Royal.
“My name is ‘Proffery Coins,’” said the griffin master.
“And I am ‘Indomitable,’” said the she-griffin.
“Glad to meet you, Proffery, Indomitable,” said the knowledgeable host.
“You know why we both are here, O Mr. Royal?” asked Proffery.
“The answer to your prayer, Mr. Coins, is in front of this north fireplace.” said this host. “Let us now get up from our furniture and see what God has for you.”
They all three jumped up to see what was in the black case. As they stood before it, the host said, “What is inside it is what my Lord and Master had me to work on for the past ten years of my life.”
Master and pet looked at each other in awe and respect to the mystery inside that black case.
Indomitable asked, “What should we do, Master?”
“Shall I open it, sir?” asked Proffery.
“Oh, allow me the privilege of opening it for you,” said this benefactor from God.
And as Proffery and Indomitable held their breath, this man of God went ahead and opened this black case to reveal the mystery within.
Behold, a straight saber unlike any ever made!
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As this inventor held it in front of them, he went on to say, “It has a blade four feet long, and it has a haft six inches across. Blade and haft are all wrought of copper. It is as straight a sword blade as any made by man. See how both sides of the saber are sharpened all the way across the blade. And this scabbard itself is made of a very rare wood called ‘pink ivory.’”
“What brilliant shining copper, O Master!” called forth the she-griffin.
“What a sword!” said Proffery, exhaling a deep breath of awe.
“Take it. Hold it. Practice with it,” said this Godly benefactor.
Proffery dared to take it into his hands. He gazed upon it. He held it up. He swung a stroke into the air. He then exclaimed, “With this I could massacre an actual dragon!”
“My humble guest, you will massacre many dragons,” said this host.
“It is a great and glorious massacre-blade,” said Indomitable.
Proffery Coins spoke and said, “I will call this copper saber ‘Massacre-Blade.’”
“Good Proffery Coins, go out and train and slay dragon demons,” said Regal Royal with the authority of God.
And that he did. At once Proffery and Indomitable thanked Regal abundantly in the Lord. And they flew back to their home in upper Wisconsin’s countrysides. And they trained together for some years. And now here they were, in the home of the Cubed-House. Proffery Rule Coins was the renowned “Sword Fighter of the North.” And his ally Indomitable was the heroine of griffins worldwide. He had by now slain dozens of dragons. And God was most well-pleased with His Proffery. And Proffery gave God glory and honor and praise for every dragon that God had enabled him to slay for Him. And all dragons everywhere were inclined to stay away from Wisconsin, for fear of Proffery and his straight saber. Great was Proffery Rule Coins. And great was his ally Indomitable.
And great were their victories in God’s battles between good and evil.
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CHAPTER IV
Gretchen and Flanders were on another date at her place out back in the Fabled Girls’ archery range. The football cheerleader was practicing her archery with regular arrows.
Flanders said, “I see that you use your matches only for the dragon battles.”
“In my training exercises like today I don’t use my flaming arrows,” said the elder Fabled Girl twin. She then drew another arrow, nocked it, drew back the bowstring, and aimed.
“I can hardly see your target, Gretchen,” he said. “And you hope to shoot your arrow through it.”
“It is about a hundred yards away,” she said.
“The length of a football field,” he said. He knew that she could hit the mark. And he said, “Go
for it, Girlfriend.”
And she let fly the arrow, allowing for an arc for the great distance. Lo, a bull’s-eye! “I’m getting better,” said Gretchen Varsity in good cheer.
“Indeed, Gretchen, every time I watch you practice, you keep getting better and better,” he
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praised her.
“That’s a good sign,” she said. “Those dragons are rough and tough.” Then she said, “I have to be at my best when the great dragons start coming around.”
“The great dragons,” he said. “We have not faced those three yet, Gretchen.”
“The Great Green Dragon. The Great Brown Dragon. The Great Black Dragon,” said the lady archer their names.
“They can burn up whole towns, take out whole armies, do anything that the Dragon of Dragons tells them to do,” said Flanders Nickels.
“The Dragon of Dragons—old Lucifer himself,” said Gretchen Varsity with a shudder.
“Satan the Great Red Dragon,” said Flanders.
“As in Revelation 12:3,” said the Bible student Gretchen. And she went on to recite this verse: “And there appeared another wonder in heaven; and behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads.” Then she said, “Our foe the Great Red Dragon has just the one head.”
“And in Revelation 12:9 the Devil as a dragon is mentioned,” said Flanders. And he recited it, “And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.”
“Him, the worst dragon,” she said.
He asked her, “When did you find out that you would become a dragon-slayer, Gretchen?”
“Majesty had a lot to do with that, Flanders,” said Gretchen of her pet he-unicorn.
“Did he know before you did?” asked Flanders.
“Why, that wily unicorn knew all along, and he never told me,” said the elder Fabled Girl.
“How come?” asked Flanders.
“God had told him not to tell me until the Lord gave me my matches,” said Gretchen.
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“Those little fire-sticks you have that turn arrows into flaming arrows,” said Flanders.
“We both know, Boyfriend, how regular arrows can only bounce off of a dragon’s armor and can never get through a dragon’s scales,” said the lady archer.
“God wanted you to have enhanced arrows,” said Flanders.
“My flaming arrows I have these days actually set fire to the iron plates upon dragons,” said Gretchen Varsity.
“Those matches make your flaming arrows the hottest of fires known to man,” said Flanders.
“I sweat when I light up my arrow tips,” she said.
“The Good Lord protects His daughter,” said Flanders of his girlfriend fellow Christian soldier.
“It is like a furnace, nocking my flaming arrows,” said Gretchen.
“So where did you get the matches?” asked Flanders.
“God had me to obey Him and to find them,” she said.
“Like with me and my Slaughter-Blade?” he asked.
“No. Not at all,” she said.
“Where did you go where God gave them to you?” he asked.
And she said, “Fifty feet under.”
“Do you mean that those matches were buried fifty feet deep in the Earth?” he asked.
“Uh huh,” she said. “Unlike you I did not have to travel all the way west to get my weapon from God.”
“Where did God have you to go and dig?” he asked. She cocked her head to the side at him and grinned. He said, “Probably not far away from here at all.” She laughed through her nose. He then asked, “Were they…right here?”
“Uh huh,” she said. “Right here in the back of my big backyard.”
“You found those matches in your own yard here at your Chez Maison?” he asked.
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“Yep!” she said. “But it was not as easy as it sounds.”
“What made it so hard?” he asked.
“Have you ever dug a hole fifty feet deep?” she asked.
“I see what you mean,” he said.
“God told me to buy some shovels,” she said.
“Lots of shovels, I’d bet,” he said.
“I bought five shovels,” she said. “But I did not know where I was supposed to dig this fifty-foot hole. Then God told me to take my bow and arrows and to stand far back in the big countryside backyard and to shoot an arrow as far as I could deeper into my backyard.”
“Were you still fairly new at archery then?” asked Flanders.
“I was,” she said.
“When you fired that arrow, how far did it go?” he asked.
“My arrows back then did not go so far as they do now,” she said to him.
“Did it go a hundred yards, like the arrow that you just scored a bull’s-eye on, Gretchen?” he asked.
“It traveled only fifty yards,” she said.
“Was that bad?” he asked.
“It was a start,” she said. “God wanted me to learn to shoot arrows farther.”
“What did you do then?” he asked.
“That was when God told me to start digging the hole right where the arrow ended,” she said.
“Where is this hole of long ago here today?” he asked.
“Right about fifty yards back toward the Chez Maison from here,” she said.
“The math may be difficult for me impromptu, but I would say that this great big hole must have been very near the end of this back yard, but not quite as deep into your backyard as this archery
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range here where we are.”
“Yes,” she did say. Right about here. It was big and deep, Flanders.”
“I don’t see it anywhere,” he said.
“God had me to bury it all back and to smooth it out after I found down there what He needed for me to have,” said Gretchen.
“So…tell me about the digging,” he said.
“I broke the first shovel after two days of digging. That broke in the middle of the wooden handle. I broke my second shovel after four days of digging. That broke at the bottom of the wooden handle right by the blade. I broke my third shovel after six days of digging. That broke at the top of the wooden handle. I broke my fourth shovel after eight days of digging. That broke in the wooden handle between the middle and the bottom. And then I broke my fifth shovel after ten days of digging. That broke in the wooden handle between the middle and the top. Now I had no more shovels to use. And I was forty-feet down in a hole in the ground ten feet in diameter. And I had a heavy long wooden extension ladder from the bottom to the top of my pit. And God told me to keep digging a little farther, and to do so with what I had.”
“How did good Majesty help you out?” asked Flanders.
“He helped me in everything but the digging itself, Flanders. God said that to dig was not in his capability as a unicorn,” said Gretchen. “He lowered and raised ropes for me for my big pails of dirt I was digging up out of the ground. He gave me good apple cider and delicious apples from the orchard with those same ropes when I got hungry and thirsty in my digging. And he tooted melodies of the hymns with his unicorn horn. I tell you, with his music and those ropes, his unicorn horn worked as hard up there on the surface as my whole body did in the digging of the hole down there at the bottom. And he encouraged me in the Lord not to quit, saying Bible verses like I Corinthians 15:58–’Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord,
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forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.’”
“It sounds like the last ten feet that you had to dig with your hands and not with any more shovels, all of them all broken,” he said.
“I got to use the blades of five broken shovels,” she said.
“God was testing you, girl,” said Flanders.
“He was preparing me for my ministry as dragon-slayer, as I was to find out,” she said.
“God was preparing you and Majesty for dragon-slaying,” said Flanders.
“I then went ahead and did dig the last ten feet of my fifty-foot hole. And there it was—a little treasure chest made of gold and silver and bronze,” she said, “One could say in olden days that it was ‘bigger than a breadbox,’ if I can stake a claim to knowing how big a breadbox might be.”
“You went ahead and opened that present from God,” said Flanders.
“I did. And therein were all of those matches that you and I and all the world now know about,” said the elder Fabled Girl. “And within that little chest next to all of them was the leather bag that you see along my hip when I do battle. I at once filled this bag with all of the matches, and the bag was then full, and the chest was then empty. It was a fit made by God.”
“And you did not know what they could do,” he said.
“Nor did I know what they were for. To me then, they just looked like tiny wooden sticks with strange bright red heads,” said Gretchen. “But it was then when my Majesty told me God’s great answer to my prayer, telling me, ‘Mistress, now you may begin your new life as dragon-slayer.’”
‘With just arrows?’ I asked him, pulling out my plain arrow from my quiver and holding it up toward him way up there
‘Nay, Mistress. With God’s arrows,’ he told me.
‘The Lord’s arrows?’ I asked him.
‘Aye, O mistress,’ he told me.
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‘What kind of arrows are “God’s arrows?”’ I asked him.
Majesty replied, ‘Arrows that are already on fire.’
‘Arrows that are on fire?’ I asked him. ‘There is no such thing as an arrow that is already on fire.’
‘Not yet, Mistress,’ he said to me.
‘Is that where these strange little sticks come in, Majesty?’ I asked him.
And he said, ‘God calls these “stick matches,” my mistress. ‘Or “matches,” for short.’
‘Matches,’ I said for my first time. ‘What can a match like this do to make my arrow a flaming arrow and to slay dragons with such an arrow on fire like that?’
And Majesty told me, ‘Mistress, experiment and find out, if you would.’
‘Do you know how these work?’ I asked.
‘I do not,’ he told me. ‘God just told me to tell you that down there in the big pit you will find what you need so that you can be used of God to slay dragons for Him.’
‘Maybe I need to strike it,’ I said. ‘And I struck my first match, passing it down across a big rock that was sticking out from the wall of my hole fifty feet down where I was. Wow! It came on fire, and it was yet in my hand! In panic I shook the match in my hand quickly, and the fire went out. Then I went ahead to try it again. And this time I held it to the tip of one of my arrows. I felt bold and daring, and I was ready to shoot my very first flaming arrow. I saw Majesty’s head looking out over the edge of the hole, my arrow on fire, and I said to him, ‘Look out, girl. I am going to try to shoot it up out of this pit.’ I was about to shoot my first flaming arrow. And he backed away out of the big aperture. Whoa! Just them a tawny dragon’s head was looking down upon me now from this same wide aperture! And I heard no sound from my Majesty. What suddenly happened to my best friend? Was he hurt? Did this tawny dragon hurt him? I could see smoke coming out of the dragon’s nostrils. I could see a malevolent smile in this tawny dragon’s gloating and proud countenance. And his big red
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eyes glowed in his visage. I could see his mouth about to open up and shoot out fire upon me, trapped in my pit. I could hear him laughing. And I fired my first flaming arrow. Hooo! I got him right between his eyes. He let out a great bellow. And he stood up straight, became stiff, and fell backwards upon the ground above. I could tell that his face and head were on fire. I quickly climbed fifty feet up on my ladder and got out of the pit, and was glad to be above ground again. There lay Majesty on his side, his senses stunned. I came up to him, and he asked, ‘What hit me?’
And I said, ‘I think it was a tawny dragon.’
‘Is he dead, O mistress?’ he asked me.
‘I looked back at the dragon. His form was engulfed in fire. ‘I don’t know, Majesty.’ I said.
Majesty shook his unicorn head, cleared away his daze, and sat up upon his haunches and looked upon the burning dragon. ‘He is dead, brave and bold mistress.’ said Majesty.
Right then I heard God speak to me again from Above, saying to me, ‘Well done, My good and faithful dragon-slayer.’
Why, I had actually slain a dragon with my flaming arrow and my archery skills! But I remembered the words of the Holy Spirit of just a few days before, before the great digging, when I had shot that plain arrow not long enough to please God as a lady archer who would battle dragons for a ministry. I had to start a life of great training every day before I was ready for a life of taking on any more such dragons in battles. I knew that I had to improve my archery skills so as to fire my arrows farther and more accurately than I could then. As I stood before the dragon carcass, Majesty got to his feet, bowed his horn in deference to me, and said to me, ‘Mistress, kudos to your first dragon battle.’ And I knelt upon the ground and prayed up to Heaven, ‘Thy will be done, O Lord of hosts.’ And he and I began our new life together of practicing for battles. And with my winged he-unicorn we two together were to do so great things for so great God Almighty.” She thus finished her testimony.
“And here you are now, shooting bull’s-eyes at a hundred yards away,” praised Flanders.
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“What a beginning to the mission for the elder Fabled Girl.”
“I broke the shovels, but at least I did not break or sprain my arms,” she said about her digging task.
“Amen, woman! Amen!” said Flanders. “God is good!”
“Amen! The Lord is good!” said the elder Fabled Girl.
Meanwhile, Destiny was on a date with her boyfriend Proffery at his place out in his backyard out behind the Cubed-House. Proffery said, “You know how I had to travel to the farthest reaches of the north to find my Massacre-Blade, Destiny. But how did you find your poison for your poison arrows?”
“I never told you. Did I?” she asked.
“I hear Highness and your big sister tell me a little from time to time,” he said. “But I never heard all of the true tale in one explanation.”
“You want to hear all of it from your girlfriend,” said Destiny.
“Do tell me,” he said. “I shall be your captive audience.”
“God sent me to the center of the world to find my acidic acid,” she began.
“You do not mean the core of Earth. Do you?” he asked.
“Uh uh,” she said with a shaking of her head.
“Then you must be talking about the Equator,” he conjectured.
“Even more than just the Equator,” she said.
“You mean the middle of our planet both in latitude and in longitude?” he asked.
“Yes, Proffery,” said Destiny.
“0 degrees latitude and 0 degrees longitude?” he asked, mystified.
“Yes. Right there,” she said.
“But nothing is there, but the middle of the Atlantic Ocean,” he said.
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“There is an island there,” she said.
“There is?” he asked.
“At least it was there when I got there,” she said.
“What was this island called?” he asked.
“It was called ‘Parts Unknown.’” she said.
“Wherever this island Parts Unknown is or was, with a latitude and a longitude like that it sounds like it could be just south of the African country of Ghana,” said Proffery Coins.
“Quite four hundred miles south of that coastal country,” edified the younger Fabled Girl her boyfriend.
“All alone in the midst of the sea,” he said.
“It was a long trip for me,” said his girlfriend.
“How did you get there?” asked Proffery.
“I’ll give you one guess,” said Destiny.
“You flew on the back of Highness,” said Proffery.
“I got tired just riding him. Think how tired he got carrying me,” said Destiny.
“How did you know where to go and how to get there?” asked Proffery.
“God told me to first go south to South America, along its western shores, and to stop at the country of Ecuador in the Andes Mountains not far from the coast of the Pacific Ocean,” she told him.
“There must have been something there, being upon a continent,” he said.
“It was Quito, the capital of Ecuador. God told me that He had an angel there in the city who would tell me where I was to go from there,” added the younger Fabled Girl. “So Highness and I flew south to Quito from up north here in our Midwest. I did not see the angel, but my he-griffin did. He looked down and saw an archangel whom was invisible to the human eye, standing upon a rural road just outside of this capital city. We descended and lighted upon the ground right in front of where this
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archangel stood. Highness could discern this angel, and I could sense him. My Holy Spirit within understood a goodness in our midst. Sent from God, this good angel spoke to me and said, ‘Good daughter of God, go now to the equator. It is fifteen miles north of here. And from there follow the equator due east five thousand three hundred miles. You will find an island there at the end of your flight which shall be called ‘Parts Unknown.’ It is the geographical midpoint of the world. There you shall find what God wishes you to have. Go, my two pilgrims, and see what our Lord has wrought.’
In confusion, Highness spoke and said, ‘Good archangel, the equator is a line that cannot be seen. It is an imaginary line.’
And to this, the angel of God said, ‘Our Lord Jesus will make it for you two a line that can be seen. Almighty God shall guide you with a real line upon the Earth that becomes a visible equator.’
‘What does the Lord have waiting for me?’ I asked.
And the invisible angel said to me, ‘You shall find out when you get there, O good daughter of the Lord.’
And Highness and I got back into the skies, flew up to the Equator and flew above the Equator. Good Highness flew for several days, as we stopped for rest every few hours. And at last we came to a strange break in the physical Equator below us. The dark line that God had drawn upon the Equator suddenly came to an end before us about five thousand feet below. After that it continued no more in its visual appearance to our eyes.
‘I don’t see it anymore beyond here, Highness,’ I said.
‘Nor do I, Mistress,’ he said. ‘Before here, it’s bright. After here, it is gone.’
‘Are we there, do you think?’ I asked.
Then way below us we saw that the line that had led us here—it now began to fade into dissolution from its end back toward its beginning. That was the answer. We were there.
‘What is that below us in the sea?’ I asked.
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And he said to me, ‘It is our island in the center of the world.’
‘Let us descend,’ I said.
‘I am at your service, my mistress,’ said Highness to me in anticipation.
And we lighted upon mysterious Parts Unknown. It was an island about five miles in diameter. It looked barren and isolated and virtually uninhabited. ‘Does anyone live here?’ I asked my he-griffin.
And he said, ‘Animals, maybe. People, I would not think so.’
‘Where should we start looking? What should we look for? Maybe God can tell us more,’ I said.
‘I would think that if the all-wise God wanted us to go to the midpoint of the world, that it makes sense that we start looking in the midpoint of this little island,’ said Highness.
‘That would be a radius of two-and-one-half miles,’ I said.
‘Let us together walk two-and-a-half miles, Mistress,’ he said.
And we two walked side-by-side to see what God might have for us in the center of this Parts Unknown. And there it was, standing upon an elevated platform held up by white marble columns all underneath it and around its circumference. It was built to be a second-story house with round walls all around it in a circle. Extension ladders were leaning up against its ramparts of ten feet in height. These simple ladders offered access to this high house from this ground below where we were standing. And solid doors of wood offered entrance into this home at the top of stoops of steps right before each of these ladders. And down here was a billboard advertising this great house, reading, ‘Domestic Domicile. The Workroom of the Elementist.’
Highness and I looked at each other. I asked him, ‘What do you suppose an ‘elementist’ might be?’
Then, from up at the second floor circling porch came forth a man’s voice, saying, ‘An elementist, fair young woman, is myself.’
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We both looked up, and there stood a short little man standing precariously on top of the high rampart’s edge, looking down and examining his two visitors. He asked us, ‘Why have you two come to my island?’ Then right after that he answered, ‘You two are the ones sent by God.’ Then he asked us, ‘What can I do for you?’ Then he answered himself and said, ‘I am waiting here to give a Christian lady my latest invention.’ Then he asked us, ‘What do you want it for?’ And he answered himself again, saying, ‘It is for the lady archer standing down below me. God wants to enhance her arrows.’
Then he looked right at me and asked, Why does the good woman need her arrows to be enhanced?’ And he again answered his query, this time, saying to me, ‘Because the Lord wants her to slay dragons for him.’
This came upon me as the biggest surprise of my life.
And I was dumbfounded. Me, a lady archer who fights dragons? This strange little man had to be wrong! I never thought before about slaying any dragons.
My Highness, though, was not at a loss for words. And he went and asked this mysterious little fellow, ‘What have you invented that enhances arrows, wise sir?’
And he told us, ‘A chemical never before known by man in all of creation.’
‘What is it?’ asked Highness.
And he said, ‘Welcome yourselves into my humble little Domestic Domicile, and I shall be most glad to tell you all about it.’
I mounted Highness, and he flew up to the second floor, and we followed this chemist into his home. Behold, one great chemistry laboratory bigger than any college chemistry laboratory! Tables
and shelves and stations were all full of all the glass apparatus that was ever used in chemistry.
I had to take care not to knock over any of his several experiments that were all going on at once.
And he asked us, ‘Well, what do you think?’
I finally found my words, and I asked him, ‘What is an “elementist,” if I may be so bold to ask
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again, learned sir,’
And he said, ‘Myself alone in the world of science who does experiments to alter the periodic table of elements.’
Highness spoke out and said, ‘Do you seek to tamper with God’s original work of creation, O elementist?’
To this he answered, ‘I am just an angel of God whom God uses to help His Christian warriors out on the battlefield in the war between good and evil.’
I then asked him, ‘God lets you do what you do?’
And he said, ‘God has called me to do what I do.’
I asked him then, ‘How do you help out good Christian soldiers as an “elementist?”’
And he answered, ‘I make weapons for dragon-slaying men and women.’
‘You do?’ I asked. I began to know that he was indeed working for the Lord.
And Highness said to him, ‘You said something about enhancing my mistress’s arrows as a lady archer.’
‘I did. And it is now ready at this table over here,’ he said. And he led us to the most intricate table of chemistry of his whole laboratory. ‘And here it is, he said. He took up a bottle like unto a bottle of Old Testament times, one made out of animal skin, and he proffered it to me.
‘But do I dare touch it?’ I asked.
And he said, ‘It will not harm skin or hide. It harms only dragons for their innate evil.’
And I reached out and took this queer ancient type of bottle and held it in my hands and looked down through its neck. He then told me, ‘God calls it “acidic acid.”’
‘Is it acidic?’ asked my Highness.
And the elementist said, ‘It is utmost acidic, good griffin. In truth it is the most acidic chemical ever on this Earth. It will eat up a dragon like a plague of locusts eats up a tree.’
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I then asked him, ‘How did you changed the rules of the periodic table of elements in making this “acid that eats up everything?”’
And he told me, ‘Through God, I invented He20. That is my official name for this acidic acid.
I combined two helium atoms and one oxygen atom together into one molecule. Now it is regarded by modern science that that is impossible, that two helium atoms can come together like this with one oxygen atom. By nature, helium cannot do that. Hydrogen, as you know, can do that. Two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom can come together into one molecule. That, of course, makes H20, simple water. But what the lightest element of the periodic table—Hydrogen—does, the second lightest element of the periodic table—Helium–does not. But God wrought His miracle in my laboratory. Thus this impossible He20. And I hereby give you a lifetime supply of this He20 for your imminent mission of God as dragon-slayer. Take care of it. Keep it safe. Use it abundantly.’
‘And they are to enhance my arrows?’ I asked the elementist of God.
‘They will make your arrows into poison arrows,’ he told me.
‘I am to pour this acidic acid upon my arrow tips thereby?’ I asked.
‘You are to dip your arrow tips into a canteen of animal skin that contains this acidic acid,’ he explained to me fully. ‘I recommend that you carefully pour out my bottle into such a canteen for war.’
‘I will do that, O master,’ I vowed to him. And then I looked up to Heaven, and I promised Christ the Lord, ‘I will do that.’
That is my story of how I have first found my poisoned arrows for my archery in my life as a dragon-slayer, Proffery,” concluded Miss Destiny Varsity.
“And now here you are, with several dragons slain already in your ministry,” said Proffery Coins. Then he bragged on her, “My girlfriend-in-the-Lord, the famous younger Fabled Girl, who slays dragons for a living.” And he followed through, saying, “And the semper fideles Highness, who fights at her side with equal valor and gallantry.”
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CHAPTER V
The group of eight—the Fabled Girls and their boyfriends and their pets and their boyfriends’ pets—were famous and well-loved by all the world. The women’s Chez Maison and the men’s Cubed-House were landmarks like unto museums. And this part of the Midwest—northern Wisconsin and the Upper Peninsula of Michigan—was regarded as “God’s countryside.” In this part of the world, the eight soldiers-for-Christ could enjoy the four seasons of the year. In Spring every year they saw the snow melt and the thaw come upon the north. In Summer every year they saw the hot humid weather of July and its temperatures in the nineties degrees Fahrenheit. In Fall every year they saw the leaves of the deciduous trees turn color and fall to the ground. In Winter every year they saw the cold and the snow and the ice and its Christmas come upon this land up north. Often times the four Christians got together and fellow shipped without their beloved pets. And other times the four pets got together and fellow shipped without their beloved owners. Today was one such day for the unicorns and the griffins.
Majesty and Highness and Invincible and Indomitable were flying in the skies of Florence County in Wisconsin and talking about dragons.
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Majesty said, “One thing about dragons, I do say: ‘They are not cowards.’”
And Invincible said, “The demons are not afraid of a good fight.”
“Though they are full of evil, they are also full of courage,” said Indomitable.
“They are not afraid to die,” said Highness.
“Alas, they serve the Dragon of Dragons very well,” said Majesty.
“But they do know their destiny, nonetheless,” spoke up Invincible.
“All the dragons know that they will go to Hell,” said Highness.
“That is all dragons,” said Indomitable. “The regular dragons, the three Great Dragons, and the
Dragon of Dragons Satan.”
“Our masters and our mistresses and we their allies in battle together have slain all manner of dragons,” said Majesty. “We have been the slayers of gray dragons, yellow dragons, black dragons, brown dragons, red dragons, green dragons, sorrel dragons, orange dragons, purple dragons, blue dragons, and who knows how many other colors that we have seen and conquered in the name of Jesus. But none of us have yet been confronted by the Devil’s Great Dragons.”
Highness spoke and said common knowledge of dragon lore: “The Great Dragons: the Great Green Dragon and the Great Brown Dragon and the Great Black Dragon.”
“The three generals of the army of the Great Red Dragon the Devil,” said Invincible.
“Soldiers-for-Christ say that the three Great Dragons have armor of corundum and mass as of a dinosaur of bygone days and fire like unto a blacksmith’s fires,” said Indomitable.
“Though they fight alone, they have never been beaten,” said Highness.
“Some people who are not Christians say that the three Great Dragons cannot be killed,” said Majesty.
“None of the Christian soldiers who faced them in battle lived to tell about it,” said Indomitable.
“Even prayer-warriors among Christendom are praying that we eight Christian warriors not take
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on in battle any one of these three,” said Invincible.
“I pray that God not hear those people’s prayers,” said Highness.
“It is the good will of the good Lord that we eight do take on the three Great Dragons in time to come,” said Majesty.
“What about the Great Red Dragon?” asked Indomitable.
“The master of the three Great Dragons,” said Invincible.
“Satan the Devil,” said Highness.
“I would say that taking on that Great Red Dragon is for the Lord Jesus Himself,” thought Majesty out loud.
“Mortals are not called of God to slay Lucifer,” said Highness. “It cannot be done with flesh and blood.”
“Even the Great Red Dragon’s days as the god of this world are numbered,” said Indomitable.
“That prince of the power of the air will someday come crashing down,” said Invincible.
“God will cast him into the eternal lake of fire,” said Majesty.
“But until that time, Earth’s skies will still be full of demon dragons,” said Highness.
“And the Dragon of Dragons yet persecutes God’s creation,” said Indomitable.
Just then a maroon dragon of average size came alongside of the four from behind. One of him was as unto the four of them put together. And he spoke, “A pox on you, O he-unicorn. A botch on you, O he-griffin. An ague upon you, O she-unicorn. A gash for you, O she-griffin.”
And Majesty said right back to him, “A unicorn horn for you!”
And Invincible said in reprisal, “And a hoof in your snout!”
And Highness spoke and said in battle words, “My beak into your face!”
And Indomitable said, “As for me, my claws in your eyes!”
And the four pets surrounded this tawny dragon, and attacked him, and sent him fleeing for his
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own good.
Majesty said, “He has not conquered us. But he can still conquer our mistress’s closets, I do fear.”
Invincible spoke and said, “The two closets, indeed holy shrines of the Word of God.”
“Are eight mighty Christian warriors enough to protect such treasures as those in Chez Maison?” asked Indomitable.
“We must every day pray and ask for God’s help to do this,” said Highness.
And here up in the clouds, the flying pets had a little prayer-meeting for the safety and the preservation of the ancient and venerated manuscripts. Just as the four pets were praying thus up here, so, too, had their owners prayed thus for these manuscripts frequently in their days together in prayer groups of four. So, too, just the other day, the whole group of eight had a prayer meeting in a prayer circle at the park that God keep safe the Fabled Girls’ treasures in the closets. It is written about prayer: “And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint; Saying, There was in a city a judge, which feared not God, neither regarded man: And there was a widow in that city, and she came unto him, saying, Avenge me of mine adversary. And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man; Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me. And the Lord said, Hear what the unjust judge saith. And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them? I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?” Luke 18:1-8. So it was with the Fabled Girls and the rest of this Christian group of eight. These eight of Christ were like unto this widow. The dragons of the world were like unto this widow’s adversary. And the prayers of each of this eight of Christ were like unto this widow’s petitions—importunate and constant and unceasing. And as this judge of this parable gave in to this widow for her steadfast supplications and granted her her request,
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so, too, would the Lord God answer the unceasing prayers of these mighty eight in Christ, and give them final victory over the fell dragons of Satan.
Here up in the air, the flying pets looked down and saw the masters’ Cubed-House. “What a house you two have,” said Majesty to Invincible and Indomitable. “It is a truly great edifice.”
And Highness said, “I would bet that this mansion down there is more grand even than many Heavenly mansions of those saints who have gone before.”
Invincible said, “It is a most blessed home.”
And Indomitable said, “And the yard is even more blessed.”
After a while of flying, the four pets then looked down and saw the mistresses’ Chez Maison.
“Now that’s a house,” said Invincible.
“That’s the house that God protects,” said Indomitable, referring to its treasures in the bedroom closets.
“How I long to see those treasures again,” said Invincible.
And Indomitable said, “Let’s go and take a look at the first Bible again!”
“That would be okay with my mistress if we did that,” said Highness.
“And my mistress wouldn’t mind if we were to touch them,” said Majesty.
“We shall be extra careful not to bend or fold or tear a page,” said Invincible.
“We know how brittle that parchment becomes after many hundreds of years,” said Indomitable.
“Let’s go down into Chez Maison and look into the two closets,” said Majesty.
“Amen!” said Highness.
And the four pets lighted upon the roof of Chez Maison, And they went first into the elder Fabled Girl’s closet and looked upon her original Old Testament. And they went second into the younger Fabled Girl’s closet and looked upon her original New Testament. And they reveled in
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worship and fellowship and God’s first written Words. And God was well-pleased. Like their mistresses and masters, these four pets could read Hebrew and Greek, the languages of these earliest of Scriptures.
What did these two closets of the Fabled Girls look like? In the northern bedroom of Chez Maison, Gretchen’s closet was a walk-in closet that was very wide, but also yet quite short. In the southern bedroom of Chez Maison, was Destiny’s walk-in closet that was quite narrow, but yet very long.
Allow this writer to describe first Gretchen’s bedroom closet with great detail. Her closet door was wooden with an inscription upon it reading, “Refuge of the original Old Testament.” Beyond this door, the elder Fabled Girl had her clothes along the left part of this closet, and she had the Old Testament along the right part of this closet. Her clothes she hung upon two closet poles stretching the short depth of the closet from front to back here to the left. The back pole was for all of her clothes that were not her blue and red cheerleader uniform. She never reached for this pole much, because she did not wear these other clothes much. But her front pole was for her especial varsity football cheerleader uniform in its fullness. This pole was usually empty, because she was always wearing the clothes that were stored on this pole. But, every night, before turning in to bed, she took off her cheerleader apparel and hung them up on this special pole. She had eight special hangers for her eight parts of her cheerleader uniform. And these hangers were all metal with two sturdy metal hinges like clothespins running along a thin bottom metal bar. Upon these metal clothespins were hung up each piece of blue and red that made up her daily cheerleader’s wardrobe. One hanger held her box-pleated skirt. Another hanger held her long-sleeved sweater. Another hanger held her sneakers. Another hanger held her knee socks. Another hanger held her ribbons. Another hanger held her intimate apparel for on top. Another hanger held her intimate apparel for down below. And the last hanger held her pom poms. With all of this, it is easy to see how long it took Gretchen to dress for the day and to undress for the
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night. All of this was in the left section of Gretchen’s closet. And the treasure that made this closet a refuge—the ancient and first Old Testament—that was in the right section of Gretchen’s closet. This Old Testament in its origins thus in here was spread out upon five little square tables of wood. The first table was along the center of the back wall; the second table was next to that in the back right corner; the third table was next to that in the center of the right wall; the fourth table was next to that in the front right corner; and the fifth table was next to that along the front wall immediately to the right of the closet door. Each table held piles of sheets of parchments, yellow and dry and brittle. And all of these parchments were written in the Hebrew language. In front of each table in this walk-in closet was a wooden chair. The Old Testament canon of Scripture was divided into five basic sections. These five partitions of this canon were entitled, “the books of the law,” “the books of history,” “the books of poetry.” “the books of the major prophets,” and “the books of the minor prophets.” Thus five sections of Old Testament. Thus also five tables in this closet. Hence, each section and its own table in this refuge. On the first table were the parchments for Genesis and Exodus and Leviticus and Numbers and Deuteronomy. On the second table were the parchments for Joshua and Judges and Ruth and I Samuel and II Samuel and I Kings and II Kings and I Chronicles and II Chronicles and Ezra and Nehemiah and Esther. On the third table were the parchments for Job and Psalms and Proverbs and Ecclesiastes and the Song of Solomon. On the fourth table were the parchments for Isaiah and Jeremiah and Lamentations and Ezekiel and Daniel. And on the fifth table were the parchments for Hosea and Joel and Amos and Obadiah and Jonah and Micah and Nahum and Habakkuk and Zephaniah and Haggai and Zechariah and Malachi. Thus the thirty-nine books of the Old Testament organized within Gretchen Varsity’s bedroom closet to the glory of God. This was what the dragons were after. This was what the dragons wanted to set fire to. This was what the dragons wanted to be taken out of this earth. This was the ministry of this elder Fabled Girl—to keep this venerable set of parchments safe from the demons who shot fires out of their dragon mouths.
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What did the younger Fabled Girl’s closet look like inside? On her solid wooden closet door was the engraving, “The sanctuary of the original New Testament.” But Destiny had her clothes to the right and her New Testament to the left in her closet. In her right section of closet she had two chests of drawers. One chest was just a plain dresser for plain clothes. Her other chest was an ornate tall and narrow and dark wooden dresser just for her basketball cheerleader outfit. It held this blue and red cheerleader outfit, of course, only in those times that she was providentially hindered from having it on.
This special chest of drawers had eight drawers, one above another, one drawer for each of the pieces that made up her varsity cheerleader uniform. Further, the arrangement of these drawers and their items of blue and red were like unto the arrangement of her cheerleader items upon herself dressed in them. The top drawer got the top piece that would be upon herself; the second from top drawer got the second from top piece that would be upon herself; and so on to the bottom drawer which got the bottom piece that would be upon herself. Hence the top drawer had her ribbons. The second drawer had her shell. The third drawer had her inner apparel for within the vest. The fourth drawer had her pom poms. The fifth drawer had her knife-pleated skirt. The sixth drawer had her inner apparel for within her skirt. The seventh drawer had her knee socks. And the eighth drawer had her sneakers. All manner of cheerleader blue and red filled this special dresser when they were not being worn by Destiny. Now what about the New Testament in this sanctuary of a closet to its left hand side? This very first New Testament was written upon five scrolls. It was written in the Greek language. And this younger Fabled Girl stored them in five cubicles extending from the wall about two feet. In front of each cubicle was a wooden chair upon which to sit and look upon their contents. And these cubicles were at eye-level when one was sitting down. And these five stations of cubicles lay side-by-side from the front wall to the back wall of this closet, all along the left wall within. The New Testament canon is understood to have five sections of books within it. The first section is called “the Gospels.” The second section is referred to as “the history of the first century church.” The third section is called “the
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epistles of Paul the Apostle.” The fourth section is called “the general epistles.” And the fifth section is often called. “the prophecy.” Hence the twenty-seven books that make up the New Testament. Thus five sections written down on five scrolls stored in five cubicles. In Destiny’s first cubicle was the scroll for Matthew and Mark and Luke and John. In Destiny’s second cubicle was the scroll for the book of Acts. In Destiny’s third cubicle was the scroll for Romans and I Corinthians and II Corinthians and Galatians and Ephesians and Philippians and Colossians and I Thessalonians and II Thessalonians and I Timothy and II Timothy and Titus and Philemon. In Destiny’s fourth cubicle was the scroll of Hebrews and James and I Peter and II Peter and I John and II John and III John and Jude. And in Destiny’s fifth cubicle was the scroll for the book of Revelation. Here in this bedroom closet of this younger Fabled Girl—Destiny Varsity—was the New Testament that the Dragon of Dragons sought to take away from this Earth. He wanted to consume it with fire. The Lord wanted it preserved for ever and ever. And this Fabled Girl was called of God to store it and to take care of it and to keep it for as long as it could be kept. Daily the Great Red Dragon sent out his dragons to search for it. He assigned his three Great Dragons to oversee the lesser dragons over this war he declared against this first New Testament. He told his demons, “Go out and look for it. Go out and find it. Go out and burn it up with dragon fire.”
And the dragons were coming to the Midwest of America in search for these origins of the Holy Bible that was yet not found by them. And they were coming into Wisconsin. And they were coming into Upper Michigan. And they were not far from Chez Maison. And they knew the group of eight Christian warriors who were bonded together for the cause of their two Fabled Girls. And they attacked them many times. And the dragons perished in their assaults against the mighty soldiers-of-Christ. The Great Red Dragon himself more than once dared to brag to God that he did, “go to and fro in the earth and walk up and down in it.” This Dragon of Dragons did exactly that in his pursuit of evil. Thus did also his dragons of their many solid colors. And at this time in mankind’s six-thousand-year
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history, Satan’s most fierce work was now upon finding and burning up that which the Fabled Girls did
keep in their closets, those closets which no Devil or demon yet knew about.
But God Almighty is an omnipotent and omniscient and omnipresent Sovereign over all. Even the Devil was not that. And the Most High Power can hide anything He wants and keep even Satan from finding what He conceals. When Moses died, God had him buried in a grave that no man ever remembered. The Dragon of Dragons looked for Moses’s grave, which God hid, and he never found it. Why was the Great Red Dragon so interested in Moses’s tomb? Because he knew that if the world knew where this great prophet was buried, that they would make it a shrine, and they would fall down and worship the dead Moses. And all the world would make the man Moses a god. The real God becomes rightfully jealous over false gods. Indeed the first commandment says, “Thou shalt have no other gods before me.” And the second commandment says, in essence, “Thou shalt not fall down and worship gods of graven images and molten images.” And God saw to it that the Devil never found where Moses’s body was buried. And if God could keep the Dragon of Dragons from finding Moses’s grave, surely He could keep all dragons everywhere from finding the Fabled Girls’ treasures of their closets. God has the Dragon of Dragons on a leash. If He wills this Dragon of Dragons to do his evil work unwittingly for God’s cause, God lets out his leash. But if He wills this Great Red Dragon to not do his his evil work, which would be against the cause of God, God pulls in on his leash. And the Lord uses for His good cause angels and born-again Christians so that He gets the due glory and the proper praise. Hence, God’s fearsome and fearless eight soldiers assigned to guard Chez Maison’s third story closets. And all the world knew about the Fabled Girls and their pets and their boyfriends and their boyfriends’ pets. No more efficacious and effectual warriors than these eight and their weapons were seen anywhere else among all of Christendom. And they slew dragons as if they were only lions or tigers or bears. And they had Jesus Christ as their Lord and Master. The Maker Who made them was the Sustainer Who sustained them. And the Saviour Who saved them, saved them for Heaven to come.
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If they were to die in battle, they would go straight to Heaven. But when a dragon died in battle, he went right to Hell.
Having looked upon the treasures in the closets, these four good and loyal pets then came out upon the flat roof just outside of the hallway between the bedrooms of this Chez Maison mansion. Majesty spoke and said, “This was where my mistress got her first kiss. It was up here.”
“I didn’t see it,” said Highness. “I wasn’t here when it happened.”
“I was,” said Majesty. “And I saw it happen.”
Invincible asked, “Did my master kiss her? Or did she kiss my master?”
And Majesty said, “They both kind of agreed to do it together both at once.”
“Sounds like it was an impulse,” said Indomitable.
“Romance like that seems to happen like that a lot between boyfriends and girlfriends.” said Highness.
“How did it start?” asked Invincible. “My master never told me that he kissed the girl.”
Majesty said. “They were sitting in front of each other here on this flat roof. Flanders was sitting on his bottom, with his legs bent at the knees and both flat down to his both sides here on the roof.”
“My master is the only person I know who can sit like that,” said Invincible. “I always tell him that he’s liable to break his knees doing that. But he always laughs, and then I laugh.”
Indomitable then asked, “How was Gretchen sitting when that happened?”
And Majesty said, “She was upon her bottom with her knees raised and her feet upon the roof. Her arms were wrapped around her raised bent legs just below her knees.”
“Was she in her cheerleader uniform?” asked Invincible.
“She was in her cheerleader uniform,” said Majesty.
“What were they doing before all of this started to happen?” asked Highness.
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“Flanders was telling her that she was just exactly what a wife should look like,” said Majesty.
“He then said why: romantic things like her being young and pretty and how her hair was brown and how she had bangs and how her tresses were so straight and how brown her eyes were and how bright white her skin was and how nice and thin she was. Then he finished it off by saying how he loved the way that she cocked her head to the side at him every time she flirted with him.”
“My master loves it when your mistress cocks her head to the side at him,” said Invincible. “He tells me that every time.”
Indomitable then asked, “Are they getting married someday?”
And Majesty said, “No. Not at all. Flanders and Gretchen both know that they would not be happy with the responsibilities of a family. They are happy being single and together as boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ.”
Highness said, “But I bet when he told her what a beautiful wife that she would make, that she was stirred up inside, even knowing what you said about their aversion to marriage.”
Majesty said, “She got this dreamy look in her eyes unlike any I have seen my mistress show before. I knew something big was about to happen.”
“Then it happened. Didn’t it?” asked Indomitable.
“Look out!” said Invincible about the climax to this true tale.
And Majesty told all: “They looked into each other’s eyes for a long while. Then they brought their faces closer. They hesitated. Then they brought their faces even closer. They hesitated again. Then they brought their lips both upon each other’s lips. It did not take long. It was kind of short and kind of sweet. They drew apart after a brief moment. And there was wonder in my mistress’s face unlike any wonder I had seen her show. Sweet magic of romance exuded from her whole face in a reverie. I’d bet that my mistress had never done anything quite like that before. And to think that she had been dating Flanders for years. And finally their first kiss.”
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“I bet that that was fun for my master, too,” said Invincible.
“I would imagine that something like that is equal fun for both men and women,” said Majesty.
“We griffins don’t understand things like that,” said Indomitable.
“We don’t,” agreed Highness.
“Nor do we unicorns,” said Majesty.
“I agree,” said Invincible.
Then Indomitable asked, “Highness, how about your mistress and my master? Did you ever see them do anything romantic like that when they thought that none of us were looking?”
“Once,” said Highness. “I just happened to look out upon them.”
“Was it a kiss?” asked Majesty.
“No. It was a hug,” said Highness.
“I missed that,” said Majesty.
“You missed a real interesting little flirt,” said Highness.
“Was it short like my master’s kiss?” asked Invincible.
“No. It was long, quite long,” said Highness.
“Did they ever do that kind of thing before together—embracing like that?” asked Invincible.
“That was the first time that I ever saw my mistress do anything quite like that before,” said Highness. “But one can tell that that was the first time that either of them had hugged before.”
“How could you tell?” asked Indomitable.
“My mistress and your master, Indomitable—they spent more time about to hug than they dig actually hugging.”
“So the hug was long and the prelude to the hug was longer,” asked Indomitable.
“It all started when Proffery said to my mistress, ‘Destiny, you are far prettier than your sister,’” said Highness.
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“Why, the women are identical twins!” exclaimed Majesty.
“Your master must have been sincere,” said Invincible to Indomitable. “He does not lie to Destiny.”
“He was sincere,” said Indomitable. “He always tells me that Gretchen is pretty, too, but that Destiny is beautiful.”
And Invincible said, “Indomitable, leave it to our masters to be able to tell the difference between the Fabled Girls, though I do say that your master had an awkward way to say it.”
And Majesty asked, “Was that when he hugged her? Or should I say ‘tried to hug her?’”
And Invincible asked, “Or did she hug him? Did she first try to hug him?”
In reference to these two pairs of questions Indomitable said, “Highness, you did say that they took a long time before they actually did the embrace itself.”
Highness answered, “They both reached out their arms where they were standing and brought their hands close to each other’s sides. Then they froze in indecision. In fact things became awkward for a while as they stood there in the middle of being about to hug. Then they brought their forms close to each other, so that their hands were behind each others backs, but with their arms straight out. And they panicked and stood there in confusion. Then they brought their arms all the way around each other’s backs, but yet their hold was not firm, and they yet refused the culmination. Then they finally gave in to the hug. And they went ahead and had their moment of romance of an embrace. It must have taken a good half-minute. He lifted her up off the ground, their hug was so passionate. And I saw my mistress lift the back of her leg up backwards in this peak of the embrace. And he set her down. And then they both separated.”
Majesty asked, “Was there magic in your mistress’s eyes, Highness?”
“How did my master look?” asked Indomitable.
“They both looked like something wonderful had just happened between them,” said Highness.
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“What did they say after what they had just done?” asked Invincible.
And Highness said, “At first they did not know quite what to say. So they said nothing for the longest moment. But they were both most ecstatic for what had just happened. Finally they found their words. Proffery said, ‘Let us do that again sometime, Destiny.’ And Destiny said, ‘Yes, Flanders. Soon.’”
“Where did they hug?” asked Indomitable.
“Was it on the roof up here?” asked Invincible.
And Highness said, “No. It happened out on my mistress’s back porch on the southern side of this mansion.” The four pets looked out onto this now empty porch.
Majesty said, “I don’t see anything special romantically about a hug.”
Highness said “It sure was special for my mistress and her boyfriend.”
Invincible said, “Mush!”
And Indomitable said, “My master thinks very differently than we sensible animals do.”
“Men and women do things together differently than what masters and pets and what mistresses and pets do together,” said Majesty.
Highness said, “We pets get kissed by our masters and mistresses. And we pets get hugged by our masters and mistresses. And we pets all like it.”
“Yeah, but that is all very different from how boyfriends and girlfriends kiss and hug,” said Invincible.
“This thing that people call ‘dating,’ It is illogical,” said Indomitable.
“And we are logical,” said Majesty.
“Amen!” said all four pets together.
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CHAPTER VI
The good and faithful band of eight were on their way to Fellowship Baptist Church for Sunday School for all ages and for Sunday Morning Worship after that. The four believers were riding their four pets on the road that led to church. Gretchen was quoting Bible verses by memory. Destiny was praying little prayers of praise and thanksgiving to God. Flanders was swinging his Slaughter-Blade around. And Proffery was unsheathing and sheathing his Massacre-Blade.
“Mistress,” asked Majesty, “what do you think that Pastor Fellow will preach on for the two services this morning?
“I don’t know, but I do know that it will be some more great lessons and sermons for sure,” said Gretchen.
“I’m glad that we pets can come in and be a part of the flock, too,” said Highness.
“Pastor lets only talking pets to come into the auditorium,” said Destiny. “The animals that cannot talk have to be in the animal room in the back.”
“He does not want barking or meowing to interrupt his message,” said Flanders. “And our pets
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do not interrupt Pastor unless it is an ‘Amen,’ that they say.”
“But he doesn’t mind when we sing with the flock from the hymnbook,” said Invincible.
“And he loves it when our little group’s unicorns toot the melody of the hymns on their unicorn horns as the flock sings,” said Indomitable.
“I’m glad to be a unicorn and not a griffin,” said Majesty.
“And I, also,” said Invincible.
“You unicorns can do something that we griffins cannot,” said Highness.
“Yes, indeed,” said Indomitable.
Proffery went on to say, “We four Christian soldiers always go and sit in the front row.”
“Pastor lets our pets sit on the floor where the talking animals get to sit,” said Flanders.
“A nice comfortable thick carpet,” said Majesty.
“I’m glad that they got rid of the hardwood floor,” said Highness.
“Our chairs are still the simple hard wooden chairs that we always had,” said Destiny.
“I hope that we don’t go and vote for upholstered metal chairs,” said Gretchen.
“None of us of the flock want to change the chairs of our church,” said Flanders.
“Nor does Pastor,” said Proffery. “Nor do the deacons.”
“Here we are at Good Church Drive,” said Majesty. “We are almost there now already.”
They could see Fellowship Baptist Church just up ahead. Pastor Fellow and his wife Emmy were there already, standing before the front doors to the church and awaiting their good flock. Once again these eight travelers were the first ones at church right after Pastor and Emmy. After them would come the two deacons and their families. Then the rest would soon come after.
Destiny said, “Pastor preaches as well to a hundred as he would to a thousand.”
“We never had a thousand. That’s true, Little Sister,” said Gretchen. “But he does preach his
heart out every time he has a service.”
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“I would say that Pastor, if he had only one member in his flock, that he would preach just as hard for that one as he would for a hundred,” said Flanders.
“At least he never had only one,” said Proffery. “But we almost have a hundred these days.”
“Fundamental Baptists are rare these days,” said Gretchen.
“Fundamental Baptist pastors are rare these days,” said Destiny.
“We are lucky to be able to have one for ourselves,” said Flanders.
“Yes. And the best one at that, Brother,” said Proffery.
Then Pastor called out to them, “Greetings and felicitations in the Lord, good brothers and sisters and unicorns and griffins!”
And Emmy called forth, “God bless you eight.”
And the eight loyal Baptists called back, “Greetings and felicitations in the Lord to you, Pastor Fellow. And God bless you, too, Emmy.”
The four pets stopped in front of the pastor and his wife, and the four believers dismounted their pets. The masters petted their pets in the backs of their heads. The mistresses kissed their pets on the sides of their necks. And the eight went in to the church. And Pastor and his wife waited outside for the two deacons to come soon with their wives and children.
Inside Fellowship Baptist Church there was simple seating for seventy-one people. Row one had eight chairs. Row two had seven chairs. Row three had six chairs. Row four had five chairs. Row five had four chairs. Row six had three chairs. Row seven had two chairs. Row eight had one chair. Then row nine had two chairs. And row ten had three chairs. And row eleven had four chairs. And row twelve had five chairs. And row thirteen had six chairs. And row fourteen had seven chairs. And row fifteen had eight chairs. This was the auditorium. In the triangles to the left and to the right where there were not chairs, were open spaces for the talking pets to sit on the carpet and hear the preaching.
For daylight, Fellowship Baptist Church had dormer windows, five on each of its four walls.
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Inside each ledge to the twenty total dormer windows was a little lamp with a twenty-five watt light bulb for the nights. Below each dormer window of the five on the left and the five on the right was a wooden placard with a verse from Psalm 119 inscribed upon it with its reference. All 176 verses of this Psalm 119 in the Holy Bible talks about the Holy Bible itself. Ten of these verses were on these two side walls just below the dormer windows. As for the front wall of this little Baptist church, there was a little library of Christian books. Along both sides of the church door, running the whole width of the front of this church, were three long shelves of books of devotionals and of commentaries and of King James Bibles and of Christian songs and hymns and of Bible dictionaries and of Bible concordances and of Bible almanacs and of Bible handbooks and of Bible atlases and maps. This little library ran all the way across right underneath this front wall’s five dormer windows. As for the back wall of this auditorium, five dormer windows lay behind the dais from where Pastor taught and preached. In the ledge of the first dormer window was the Christian flag on a little brass flagpole. In the ledge of the second dormer window was a Wisconsin flag on a little brass flagpole. In the ledge of the third dormer window was an American flag on a little brass flagpole. In the ledge of the fourth dormer window was a Michigan flag on a little brass flagpole. And in the ledge of the fifth dormer window was a flag that read, “G.A.R.B.C.” [General Association of Regular Baptist Churches] on a little brass flagpole. For light here upon the dais there was a rheostat switch that operated a ceiling light above Pastor for up to fifty watts. And upon the left and the right of this dais were two floor lamps with shades whose bulbs were seventy-five watt bulbs. Pastor Fellow’s pulpit was of simple pine wood with paneling all throughout it. It was four feet high and two feet wide and one foot deep. The top was slanted down toward him where he stood. Its three shelves underneath were level. And its base was of four little legs about one inch long at each corner. On top he had his King James Bible and his hymnbook and his sermon notes. On the top shelf inside he had a glass of cold water and spearmint candies and peppermint candies in case he were to become hoarse. In the middle shelf he had the official church
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constitution and its articles of faith and also many prayer letters from other missionaries doing the same kind of work that Pastor was doing—both home missionaries like himself and also foreign missionaries from far away. And in the bottom shelf he had a veritable bunch of sundry and divers scattered salvation tracts published from throughout America. He was a most loyal and steadfast champion of that called “a tract ministry.” And short carpeted ramps with handrails left and right joined the dais to the auditorium on both sides of the pulpit. And in upon the auditorium floor in front of the dais and in the middle stood the offering plate table. It was one foot wide and one foot long and five feet high.
And it had a gold and silver-colored cloth draped upon its table top and hanging down to the floor all around it. Here was where the offering plate was put for each of this Baptist church’s four services throughout the week—Sunday School and Sunday Morning Worship and Sunday Evening Worship and Wednesday Night Bible Study and Prayer Meeting. It had four little solid iron wheels at each corner at its bottom. And it held much tithes and offerings from its most generous little flock in each collection.
Flanders and Proffery, being the ushers, gathered the collections for each service and counted up the collections after each service. And also upon the auditorium floor before the pulpit and in front of the offering plate table, there was also the communion table. Fellowship Baptist Church, as stated in their church constitution, celebrated communion once a month. This communion table was one foot high and two feet long and three feet wide. The Fabled Girls were in charge of preparing the elements for the Lord’s table. On the left side of this short little table, Gretchen had prepared for the flock on such a day a gilded metal plate of little pieces of unleavened bread. On the right side of this communion table on these days Destiny had prepared a gilded metal rack with holes full of tiny glass cups of grape juice. And Gretchen proffered the unleavened bread first to the congregation. And Destiny proffered the grape juice second to the congregation. Being respectful to the pastor, after having already distributed the elements to the congregation first, they then distributed them to themselves second, and they then third distributed them to Pastor last. This was the ordinance of the Lord’s table.
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Soon after the eight soldiers-for-Christ arrived this day, all the other members of the flock also arrived. They all chatted about things of God for some time. Then, at fifteen minutes before the service started, all were in their chairs and on their place in the carpet, silent and respectful of the house of God and awaiting the Sunday School hour. And Sunday School for all ages began. Pastor came up to his pulpit. And he said, “Blessed be the name of the Lord.”
And the whole flock replied in enthusiasm, “Blessed be the name of the Lord.”
Then Pastor said, “Our usher Brother Flanders has a joke that he wants to share with you. Brother, would you like to tell it to the church?” Pastor and Flanders joked much together in their friendship over the years. And both liked each other’s jokes much.
And Flanders said, “Do you mean the one that I told you on visitation, Pastor?”
“That one, Brother,” agreed Pastor.
And Flanders stood up and said his riddle, “When is Pastor an animal?”
All the auditorium became pensive in search for finding the punch line. But none could find it.
Then Flanders told the answer, “When he’s a little hoarse.”
And everybody—including Pastor and Emmy and the talking animals—laughed with Flanders.
Then Pastor went on with today’s lesson in Sunday School, “This morning I would like to share with you folk some unique Bible verses that I have found and memorized over the years. One could call these Scripture verses ‘threesomes,’ because they each have a same word or a same phrase three times in a row. I have been coming upon these ‘triplets’ throughout my Bible studies over the years.
And I think that I know all of them and where they are in the Holy Bible. This morning I would like to tell you all of them. There are only eight of them in all of Scripture. And I would like to share them with you in the order that they appear in the Bible. I will tell you the reference, and you can find it, and we can read each verse together out loud as a flock in the house of God.” Pastor then held up his King James Version Bible up toward Heaven. His congregation did the same. “Let us begin,” said Pastor
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Fellow.
And the following was a summary of this central focus of today’s teaching here in Sunday School:
“I] Exodus 25:35: ‘And there shall be a knop under two branches of the same,
and a knop under two branches of the same, and a knop under two branches
of the same, according to the six branches that proceed out of the candlestick.’
II] Exodus 37:21: ‘And a knop under two branches of the same, and a knop
under two branches of the same, and a knop under two branches of the same,
according to the six branches going out of it.’
III] Isaiah 6:3: ‘And one cried unto another, and said, Holy, holy, holy, is the
Lord of hosts: the whole earth is full of his glory.’
IV] Jeremiah 7:4: ‘Trust ye not in lying words, saying, The temple of the
Lord, The temple of the Lord, The temple of the Lord, are these.’
V] Jeremiah 22:29: ‘O earth, earth, earth, hear the word of the Lord.’
VI] Ezekiel 21:27: ‘I will overturn, overturn, overturn, it: and it shall be no
more, until he come whose right it is; and I will give it him.’
VII] Revelation 4:8: ‘And the four beasts had each of them six wings about
him; and they were full of eyes within: and they rest not day and night, saying,
Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come.’
VIII] Revelation 8:13: ‘And I beheld, and heard an angel flying through the
midst of heaven, saying with a loud voice, Woe, woe, woe, to the inhabiters
of the earth by reason of the other voices of the trumpet of the three angels,
which are yet to sound!’”
The Bible-learned pastor then went on to teach the meat of the word upon these eight verses with these “three-peats.” And then he continued on in today’s Sunday School lesson.
Then Pastor asked Proffery, “Brother, how are you doing with your unique collection of half-dollars and Susan B. Anthony dollars and two-dollar bills that you have going on at home?”
And Proffery Coins said, “I cashed them all in at the bank, Pastor.”
“And how much did you get?” asked Pastor.
“Four hundred forty-five dollars—in half-dollars and Susan B. Anthony silver dollars and
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two-dollar bills,” said Brother Proffery.
And Flanders Nickels raised his hand and said, “Pizza, Pastor!”
And all laughed together in mirth. Flanders had seen this collection spread out upon Proffery’s table in flat piles of coins in rows and columns and in bundles of cash off to the side. Proffery had been buying the coins from the grocery store that he worked at for the convenience of the store and for his special little temporary collection. And the two-dollar bills he had bought, some from this same store and many from his big brother.
Then Pastor called upon the two deacons to close today’s Sunday School hour with a word of prayer—first one, then the other. And Pastor dismissed his flock for an intermission.
Fifteen minutes later, Sunday Morning Worship started here at Fellowship Baptist Church. Pastor Fellow called upon his ushers for a word of prayer to begin the service, again, first the one, and then the other. Then the pastor went ahead to share the announcements with the flock. And they took up the offering again this morning. Then Pastor said, “I’ve got a joke that I told Brother Flanders. He told me that it was great and that I should tell it to you.”
“Is that true, Flanders?” said Proffery in merriment.
And Flanders said, “Yes. It was great and you need to hear it.”
And all the flock looked toward Pastor there at his pulpit. And he told the joke: “A man sang a hymn solo in the front of the church. Another man told him, ‘You are so good, that you should be on the stage.’ And the singer asked him, ‘Really?’ And the man said, ‘Yes. The next one leaves in ten minutes.’”
Snickers and giggles came from the flock. And the griffins screeched in approval. And the unicorns tooted a short blast on their horns in applause. And Pastor said, “I’ve got others.”
Emmy shook her head. Everybody saw her. And all laughed harder. And Pastor deferred, with a big grin.
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Then Pastor Fellow began his sermon of today’s Sunday Morning Worship. He preached, “Today for church I would like to share my other kind of unique Bible verses that I have discovered and kept in my heart from my years of Bible studies in my den. This Scripture to which I am referring could be called ‘All-capital-word verses.’ These verses in the King James Bible have words in them that are spelled out with every letter being a capital letter. Sometimes there might be one word in the verse that is made up of all capital letters. Other times there might be lots of words in a row in all capital letters start to finish in a verse. I have studied and memorized the eleven such verses that I know. But I do not think that those are all of them. I would think that there are others in the Bible that I have not discovered. As we had done in Sunday School, let us do again in church today. I will state the reference, and we shall search the Scriptures for that reference, and we can read the Word of God out loud in corporate worship. And I will lead in the reading by going in order that these verses are found in the King James Bible.
The following was this synopsis thus:
“I] Exodus 3:14: ‘And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said,
Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you.’
II] Exodus 6:3: ‘And I appeared unto Abraham, unto Isaac, and unto Jacob,
by the name of God Almighty, but by my name JEHOVAH was I not known
to them.’
III] Exodus 28:36: ‘And thou shalt make a plate of pure gold, and grave
upon it, like the engravings of a signet, HOLINESS TO THE LORD.’
IV] Exodus 39:30: ‘And they made the plate of the holy crown of pure gold,
and wrote upon it a writing, like to the engravings of a signet, HOLINESS
TO THE LORD.’
V] Psalm 68:4: ‘Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: extol him that
rideth upon the heavens by his name JAH, and rejoice before him.’
VI] Psalm 83:18: ‘That men may know that thou, whose name alone is
JEHOVAH, art the most high over all the earth.’
VII] Jeremiah 23:6: ‘In his days Judah shall be saved, and Israel shall dwell
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safely: and this is his name whereby he shall be called, THE LORD OUR
RIGHTEOUSNESS.’
VIII] Zechariah 3:8: ‘Hear now, O Joshua the high priest, thou, and thy
fellows that sit before thee: for they are men wondered at: for, behold,
I will bring forth my servant the BRANCH.’
IX] Zechariah 6:12: ‘And speak unto him, saying, Thus speaketh the Lord
of hosts, saying, Behold the man whose name is The BRANCH; and he
shall grow up out of his place, and he shall build the temple of the Lord:’
X] Revelation 17:5: ‘And upon her forehead was a name written,
MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS
AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH.’
XI] Revelation 19:16: ‘And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a
name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS.’”
And the good Baptist pastor went on to preach a half-hour-long sermon upon these eleven verses and these titles of all capitals. And then he continued this service. And when church was done, he had a word of prayer to close the Sunday Morning Worship service, and he dismissed his flock.
And the congregation gathered with Pastor and his wife Emmy for a good hour of sweet fellowship once again after the service this day. And then the last ones yet here were Pastor and Emmy. As they stood alone, Emmy said, “Why didn’t Gretchen and Destiny stay to talk with us, Pastor?”
And Pastor Fellow asked, “And what became of Flanders and Proffery? We didn’t get to talk with them today.”
Indeed, the four and their pets this time were the first ones to leave after church let out. None of the eight were disgruntled or disappointed or discouraged by the two services today. Yet, for their first time, they ran off right after Pastor had dismissed the flock.
They rode upon the ground and gathered together at the Fabled Girls’ Chez Maison. Majesty spoke and asked, “Mistress, the church was not on fire. Why did we run off like we did?”
Invincible went ahead and asked, ‘Why didn’t we stay and talk to our friends, Master?”
Indomitable said, “I wish that I were still there, O Master.”
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And Highness asked, “Is anything wrong, my mistress?”
To Majesty, Gretchen said, “I needed to leave church right away so that I could go and read the Bible again.” Indeed to this elder Fabled Girl, Bible-reading was without denial, her personal “first love” of all means of worship with which she walked with Christ. And Gretchen Varsity told the truth of her heart just now to her pet he-unicorn. Then she said, “I guess that I love Bible study more than I love going to church.” But Jesus Christ, the Cornerstone of the church according to Ephesians 2:20, never told His daughter Gretchen just now to run off from church right away as she had. And God was not pleased with this Fabled Girl twin.
To Invincible, Flanders said, “I have to practice with my Slaughter-Blade. My responsibility as a dragon-slayer must not be compromised with good old-fashioned fellowship. I’ve got work to do with my curved saber of God.” Yes, God told Flanders Nickels to go out and train much with his brass sword. But God had also told him to make the Lord’s day a time with no saber-training. The Lord’s day was always Sunday. And Flanders committed a sin against God thereby. Flanders was sincere, but he was sincerely wrong. And being sincerely wrong often leads to acts of infamy and dreadful acts. God was not happy with Flanders.
To Indomitable, Proffery told him, “I did not practice long enough with my copper straightsword yesterday. I need to make up for it today. This late hour in the church age is no time for me to stay at church and not fulfill my obligations as a dragon-slayer.” He believed what he said. But he forgot God’s great commandment for His Christians here in this church age in Hebrews 10:25: “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.” His Massacre-Blade must come next in his life to fellowship and church. And God was disappointed in Proffery Coins.
And to Highness, Destiny said, “God called me home right away after church to go pray for the flock.” All the world knew how prayer was her own “first-in-command” of all her means of worship.
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In other words it was her very favorite thing to do as a born-again Christian. But the truth that eluded her about her statement was that she was the one who wanted to run off and pray. God had not told her to betray her needful fellowship after church to get alone with God in her quiet time of prayer. She had lots of time to stay long after church and then pray even longer to God after. In the book of Ephesians, Christ is called “the head of the church.” And this Head of the church was forsaken by this younger Fabled Girl in her hasty flight right after Pastor had dismissed his flock. Jesus was upset with Destiny Varsity for what she had gone and done just now.
Majesty said, “Maybe we eight can stay a while after the Sunday Evening Worship tonight and talk to Pastor and Emmy this time.”
And Invincible said, “I would like to talk to my fellow unicorns again.”
“And I, my fellow griffins,” said Indomitable.
And Highness said, “I love fellowship.”
Behold, the four keepers shaking their heads in one accord against the words of their godly pets.
Gretchen said to the four pets, “I think that I’ll pass on church tonight. I already went to church this morning.”
And Destiny said, “Not tonight. I’ll go to the Mid-week service when it comes on Wednesday, though.”
And Flanders said, “We don’t need to be at church every time.”
And Proffery said, “We can come to church from time to time for now on.”
Behold, the Dragon of Dragons saw and heard all of this as the prince of the power of the air.
And he smiled in his Great Red Dragon jaws. Never before had these four solid believers, truly the wonders of Christendom, said or did anything like this before in their combined many decades as children of God. This wily Devil finally found his first opportunity to tempt the four to great sin.
It had all started just now in their breaking of their perfect attendance record at Fellowship Baptist
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Church. For their first time, the four renowned Christians of the world were no longer committing themselves to go to church every time the doors were open. They had enjoyed and thrived and served in this Baptist church together for so many years that they had allowed themselves to become complacent about the house of God. And where such backsliding as this had begun, even worse backsliding was to come. As Pastor had so often said, “If you backslide little, you will backslide much.” As he also preached, “Sin will take you farther than you want to go.” As he warned his flock many times, “’The backslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways:…’ Proverbs 14:14.”
That night the four pets flew together to Sunday Evening Worship, but their keepers stayed home—the women, at Chez Maison; and the men, at the Cubed-House. And when the pets returned home after church that night, they each rebuked their keepers. And their keepers yelled back at them.
And trouble came upon the Fabled Girls and their boyfriends and the two homes.
Meanwhile, Satan got alone with his three Great Dragons. The four all knew what had happened. Their four greatest adversaries had gone and skipped out on church. And the Great Red Dragon said to them, “It has started small. And it shall end big. We can defeat the Fabled Girls and their little army of God now.”
The Great Green Dragon said, “Master, we three think that we know where the manuscripts are that have been hidden from us.”
“You do?” asked the Great Red Dragon.
“Yes, O master,” said the Great Green Dragon.
And the Great Brown Dragon said now, “Why would those nasty Fabled Girls be such
redoubtable archers against us dragons if they did not have those manuscripts within their own house?”
“How do you know all of this?” asked the Great Red Dragon.
And the Great Black Dragon said, “First they became careless with their church attendance.
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But now they are becoming careless with their treasures of manuscripts.”
“Did you actually see them—the original Words of God?” asked the Dragon of Dragons.
“They were lying around on a balcony,” said the Great Green Dragon. “I was passing by their mansion, and I saw some parchments out there, and a young woman sitting down there and looking at them.”
“I went back to take a look,” said the Great Brown Dragon, “and I found the same thing—one of those Fabled Girls on a balcony with scrolls on her lap.”
The Great Red Dragon said, “My Great Green Dragon sees a Fabled Girl on a balcony with parchments. My Great Brown Dragon sees a Fabled Girl on a balcony with scrolls. Your stories do not match.”
The Great Black Dragon spoke and said, “I think that I understand, O master. One Fabled Girl has the Old Testament with her on her balcony. The other Fabled Girl has the New Testament with her on her balcony.”
“I cannot tell the difference from one Fabled Girl twin from the other Fabled Girl twin,” said the Great Red Dragon.
“The younger one, Destiny, has the indoor cheerleader uniform on. The older one, Gretchen, has the outdoor cheerleader uniform on,” said the Great Black Dragon. “That, O master, is what I saw when I went to take a look.”
The Great Green Dragon then said, “From what I have seen, it was Gretchen who had the parchments. Those must have been the Old Testament earliest writings. She was sitting out in a back porch in the northern edge of the mansion. So she must have a bedroom in the north wing of Chez Maison.”
And the Great Brown Dragon said, “Then it surely must have been the woman Destiny whom I saw with the scrolls. That, master, had to be the earliest New Testament. She was sitting out in a front
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porch in the southern end of the mansion. I would say that she has a bedroom in the south wing of that Chez Maison.
And the Great Red Dragon then said, “If these porches have bedrooms that open out to them, do these same bedrooms open out to closets?”
The Great Black Dragon said, “I went back again to check out the home of the Fabled Girls more closely, O master. I have seen that both bedrooms have two porches each—the one in back of Gretchen’s bedroom accompanied by one in front of her bedroom; and the one in front of Destiny’s bedroom accompanied by one in back of Destiny’s bedroom.”
“Did you see what could be closets from where you were flying, O Great Black Dragon?” asked the Dragon of Dragons.
“I did see little rooms supported by columns on both the extreme north end of Chez Maison and also the extreme south end of Chez Maison, O great master,” said the Great Black Dragon.
“Two closets!” declared the Great Red Dragon. “And two Testaments in their original language!”
“Shall we attack now, O master?” asked the Great Green Dragon.
“Shall we assault the Fabled Girls and their Chez Maison, great master?” asked the Great Brown Dragon.
“Shall we go after the holy closets, master?” asked the Great Black Dragon.
And the Great Red Dragon told them, “Go out and find the world’s first Holy Bible and burn it with hellfire from out of your Great Dragons’ mouths!”
And the Dragon of Dragons sent out his dragons of the world after God’s original manuscripts, telling them also, “Slay Gretchen Varsity. Slay Destiny Varsity. Slay Flanders Nickels. Slay Proffery Coins. Slay Majesty. Slay Highness. Slay Invincible. Slay Indomitable.”
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CHAPTER VII
The eight warriors-for-Christ were gathered together in the Fabled Girls’ front yard for fun and games. Instead of sharing fellowship, the four believers were playing Charades, and their four pets were their captive audience. It was Wednesday night. This was the evening for Wednesday Night Bible Study and Prayer Meeting at Fellowship Baptist Church. Keepers and pets alike decided to stay home from church tonight—Destiny, too, who had said that she would be there for the midweek service.
And God let go of His protecting hand upon the Chez Maison.
And the Great Green Dragon attacked the eight upon the ground. Just like that he was there, swooping by and shooting fire out of his mouth. A trail of fire burned up the green grass in front of the Chez Maison. And the lawn was scorched. But the band of eight were not harmed. Right away he came back for more. And Flanders declared to the other seven, “Battle stations!”
At once the formidable soldiers-of-the-Lord prepared for great battle against the Great Dragon. Flanders mounted Invincible and commanded her, “After him, girl!” And the she-unicorn lifted up into
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the sky and pursued the Great Green Dragon, Flanders on her back.
Proffery commanded, “To the skies, Indomitable,” and he mounted his she-griffin, and they lifted up into the skies to go get this green dragon.
Gretchen leaped up upon her he-unicorn’s back, her bow and arrow and its bag of matches upon her person. And Majesty also lifted up into the air.
And Destiny mounted her he-griffin, her artillery and its acidic acid canteen in her grasp, and Highness rose up to come after their adversary.
Lo, none of these eight dragon slayers had yet taken on in battle any of Satan’s Great Dragons before. And though this Great Green Dragon was the smallest of the three Great Dragons, he was still, nevertheless, the size of all eight of these of Christ put together. Flanders massed his troops in a phalanx as the eight went on to assault the green gargantuan dragon. In a tight formation, Flanders and Proffery upon their pets were in the center of this army of good, and the Fabled Girls upon their pets were in the outer edges of this army of good. In this way, Flanders pursued his strategy to crash into this dragon with his whole army against him and to knock him down and to stun him with a physical force of four people and two unicorns and two griffins. He had done this before with other dragons previously, and it had always worked. Once they would crash into this dragon, surely he would fall to the ground in a daze and his fire would go out from inside him.
Behold, the Great Green Dragon waxed bold, and said to them, “Christian warriors, come to me!” And this fell demon did not falter, but, instead accelerated. And Flanders became uncertain now of his strategy.
CRASH!
Eight and one collided hard in mid-air. Eight fell hard, its four pets rallying and slowing the fall with their wings and abating the contact upon the earth. One remained up in the air, his dragon eyes shining red and his form none the worse and his tongue sticking out of his mouth at them below.
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As soon as the four winged pets lighted upon the ground, the riders dismounted them and stood there in a great daze. Keeper and pets alike were all eight wounded from this great collision with the Great Green Dragon. And the dragon came back for more. He was not fazed from this collision. He began a sweeping dive to shoot out fire for his second time in this assault.
Flanders, standing, leaped up and swung his curved brass saber in a sweeping arc above his own head. He smote the Great Green Dragon across his ribs, thereby knocking out a piece of armor from his chest and seeing it fall to the ground to his side. This little wound caused the green dragon to be distracted from shooting his fire, and he turned to look upon the man who had done this to him. Flanders regained confidence. The Great Green Dragon filled up with sanguinary thoughts where pride had been. And he took his front right dragon foot and smashed it down into Flanders’s head where he stood and crushed him down to the ground underneath it into a veritable pile of a man, and held him down hard between dragon foot and the earth.
Invincible came for her master’s rescue. And this unicorn charged this Great Dragon of green with her unicorn horn lowered and ready. And she impaled this dragon with her horn right into his chest and did knock out another piece of armour from his dragon chest, this chunk flying out and falling to the ground with a thud. Again, a blow that always meant death to any other dragon was only a slight wound upon this Great Green Dragon. Not only was this Great Dragon bigger than any dragon that they had taken on before in battle, but he was also more solid and hard than any previous dragon that the eight had thought to go and slay. And in draconic reprisal, the Great Green Dragon swung his tale hard right into Invincible, knocking her hard into her whole side and sending her flying and landing ten feet away upon her side. She lay there wounded and with no fight left in her. Irritated, this Great Dragon stepped off of Flanders and turned to face the other six.
Flanders, the field martial of these eight, sat up, gasping, and studied the battle from where he sat. He saw the two holes in the dragon’s armor upon his chest and noticed that they were right next to
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each other. And a strategy came to his mind from the Holy Spirit. He and Proffery looked upon each other. As best friends, these two sword fighters shared a chemistry between each other. Flanders spoke and said to Proffery, “Adjacent, good Brother.”
“Adjacent it shall be,” agreed Proffery Coins. They understood each other. The dragon did not understand either of them. And Proffery charged this dragon, his straight sword ready for a thrust. And he thrust his copper saber into the dragon’s chest. Behold, a third chunk of armor broke out painlessly from the Great Green Dragon and landed like a rock upon the earth. Take note, this wound was right next to the two previous wounds. And these three wounds adjacent to each other now made a discernible single breach upon his armor in his chest. Feeling yet the master of circumstances, the Great Green Dragon grabbed Proffery in his jaws by the shoulder, lifted him up into the air, and slammed him down to the ground at his dragon feet. Proffery was wounded in battle, and some bones were broken, and he could continue no longer in this battle.
His Indomitable sought to get revenge upon the Great Green Dragon and to rescue her master. The she-griffin lifted up ten feet into the air to strike the dragon’s head where he stood. Seeing this, the sprawled Proffery gave her his battle-commands, saying, “Same place, girl.” She understood. The dragon did not. And Indomitable turned away from the dragon’s head and did dive right toward the wound in his ribs. She threw her beak hard into a chunk of armor just off of the wound’s edge. And a fourth armor plate broke off and landed upon the ground like a piece of iron. She was just about to circle around and do it again. But, annoyed, the Great Green Dragon shot fire out of his mouth and burned up her tail feathers and set her on fire. Very quickly, she descended and rolled and rolled and put out the fire. She was no longer in any condition to fight. But she was alive.
Next, Gretchen sought to slay this dragon very busy in battle. She and Flanders shared an even deeper chemistry than did Proffery and Flanders, herself having been his girlfriend-in-the-Lord for many years. She knew all about what Flanders had for them to do in order to slay this Great Green
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Dragon. She drew an arrow from her quiver, set it on fire with one of her matches, nocked the flaming arrow on her bowstring, drew back on the bowstring, aimed at the solid armor plates just to the side of the dragon’s mild wound, and let fly her flaming arrow. Her enhanced arrow struck some armor chunks just outside the edge of the wound. And it set on fire this armor upon the dragon’s body. In irritation the Great Green Dragon blew on this fire with his dragon breath, and this fire went out quickly. But this one hurt him. Part of his chest was now burned. And this time, not one more, but some more, pieces of armor had fallen from him down to the ground like supernatural hailstones.
In vengeance, he shot fire out of his mouth upon the bowstring of the elder Fabled Girl’s artillery. And the bowstring burned up at once. And Gretchen Varsity could no longer use her bow for any further battle this day. Then he batted at Gretchen and knocked her hard against her hip, and she fell down upon her pelvis and it was sprained. Helpless, she yet prepared another flaming arrow.
In his own vengeance, and knowing the right strategy to pursue in this battle, Majesty began a fierce gallop in toward the Great Green Dragon where he stood as a great mountain. He would have to leap with his running hooves in order to impale him in the ribs by the other wounds. Lo, the green dragon now lifted up into the air with his wings. In like the winged he-unicorn also lifted up into the air with his wings. Just as Majesty thrust his unicorn horn into the dragon next to the dragon’s wound, the dragon wrapped his dragon arm around Majesty’s neck and squeezed a choke hold upon him. At first it looked like the dragon got the worst of it. He found that another chuck of armor plate broke off of his chest and fell to the earth. But he would not let go of the he-unicorn from around his equine neck. And Majesty wondered if his life were being choked out of him up here above the Chez Maison. Then the Great Green Dragon let him go to apparently fall to his death. Majesty found that he was released, and he began to plummet to the earth. In the last moment, he spread his unicorn wings, and he managed to light upon the ground, albeit very hard and very rough. He had to sit down now and gasp for his breath. He could no longer take on this dragon in further battle for now. But now the hole
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in the dragon’s armor across his upper chest was rather sizable. And his hide within was vulnerable now. And within his hide was his heart, no longer impregnable, nor covered with armor.
Next Destiny nocked her poison arrow, its tip dipped in the world’s most powerful acid. The chemistry and secret communication between these Fabled Girls twins was uncanny and truly the most intimate bond between any two of this camaraderie of eight. The tactics of battle that Gretchen had understood from her boyfriend’s three words to Destiny’s boyfriend did Destiny understand from her big twin sister in silent thoughts from her. With her enhanced arrow Destiny Varsity sought to make the wound larger by way of Flanders’s strategy. The dragon came toward her to stomp her. She fired her arrow unto his chest, and he was hit. The arrow’s acidic acid at once ate away at the armor chunk that it struck, and very soon that armor chunk dissolved away. And the acid continued eating away more armor plates until the acid was all gone. Lo, four or five more armor plates were taken away from this Great Green Dragon—this from one arrow of He20. The Great Green Dragon was now wounded. And he felt pain now for his first time. And it debilitated him. She quickly nocked another enhanced arrow. In ferocity of a demon, he reached out and grabbed this poisoned arrow by its shaft in his Great Dragon jaws, meticulously avoiding the dangerous tip. And he spat it out upon the ground. And right after this, he grabbed a hold of the younger Fabled Girls’ quiver of arrows and tore it off of her back and did break them up with a stomp of his foot. Then he seized her bow with his dragon teeth and clamped down on it and broke it in three places and did spit them back into her face. Then he took his right dragon leg and slapped her across her face where she stood. And she fell back hard ten feet away, landed sickeningly hard upon the back of her head, and lay there, herself knocked unconscious.
There was now only one left of the Lord’s camaraderie who was unhurt and who could still fight—the he-griffin Highness. Dragon smoke began to billow out from the dragon’s nostrils and from between his clenched jaws. The breach in the dragon’s armor that had begun from the first assault of the first to attack him this day had now become a big breach after seven assaults of the seven who had
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attacked him this day. The Great Green Dragon, still with victory his to take, said to Highness, “Do I have to maim you, too, little griffin?” The he-griffin knew that he could not finish off this behemoth of a dragon with just his own griffin beak and eagle claws and lion paws, without himself also falling in battle unto incapacitation. Though the dragon wound was bad, no fighter on earth could make it fatal with just one more assault. He had to think of something absolutely final and very quickly. This Great Green Dragon was just about to shoot a bolt of fire upon him. He prayed to God. And God told him what to do. And Highness went and did it. He gathered around the fallen Christians soldiers and gathered up their four weapons in his two eagle claws and in his two lion paws. In his right eagle talons he held his mistress’s poisoned arrow. In his left eagle talons he held Gretchen’s flaming arrow. In his right lion paw he held the illustrious Slaughter-Blade. And in his left lion paw he held the renowned Massacre-Blade. The Great Green Dragon then shot his fire out of his mouth toward Highness. Highness flew right through the great flames headfirst, heedless of his own welfare, and he came in upon the Great Dragon sent by the Devil. And with one fell thrust, he impaled that hole in the armor with the whole aggregate of the two swords and the two enhanced arrows. All four most deadly weapons of Christian warfare on this earth pierced the Great Green Dragon through his hide and into his heart. And he let out a bellow from Hell itself! He stood there, bewilderment upon his once-proud face. He then put his front dragon paws upon his upper chest. And he betrayed a death gasp. Then he slowly fell backwards where he was standing. And when he landed, a little earthquake shook up the Chez Maison. And the Great Green Dragon thus fell dead in battle. And Highness suffered first degree burns, but he was alive and he would live and get better. Indeed all eight soldiers-for-God were alive and were going to get better. [And in the time to come they all healed back up good as new. And they repaired and restocked their dragon-slaying weapons for their next battle someday to come. And God was glorified in that climactic battle.]
Later on one day, Gretchen said to Destiny, “Let’s not go and put on our cheerleaders’ uniforms
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today, Little Sister.”
“Yeah, Gretchen,” said Destiny. “God said that we are to wear them. But that doesn’t mean all the time.”
“We can leave our cheerleader uniforms in our closets for the day,” said Gretchen Varsity.
“What could possibly happen to them in there, Big Sister?” asked Destiny.
“That would make it easier that way to run them through the washer and dryer,” said Gretchen.
“God called us Fabled Girls to be cheerleaders,” said Destiny. “But we can still cheer for Jesus in something else this time.”
“That makes sense, Destiny,” said Gretchen.
“A lot of things make sense when a girl stops and thinks about things other than God,” said Destiny.
And the Fabled Girl twins put on long-forgotten dresses of long ago that they now found in their closets. And they came out of their bedrooms to show each other off to the other.
“Not bad, Little Sis,’” said Gretchen, looking upon her.
“Looking pretty good, Big Sister,” said Destiny, looking at her.
“Shall we do a cheer for God in our brand new outfits?” asked Gretchen.
“Do we have to right now?” asked Destiny.
“No. Maybe not,” said Gretchen.
“Let’s not cheer for the Lord today,” said Destiny.
And the twin girls said no more for now. And they went out on the town as they were. The Dragon of Dragons was very happy. He now had a part of the Fabled Girls. And he plotted now to get the whole of the Fabled Girls.
Another day, at the Cubed-House, in their library, the two men were chatting away about a book that they just happened to find in this den. “The book looks like it is a book of vocabulary words,
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Brother,” said Proffery.
“It is,” said Flanders. “I think I’ll go and broaden my vocabulary.”
“You are going to start memorizing vocabulary words then?” asked Proffery.
“Uh huh,” said Flanders. “We both should try it. It’ll be a lot of fun.”
“I thought that you were already busy memorizing Bible verses, Brother,” said Proffery.
“I was,” said Flanders. “That I was.”
“Do you think that God minds?” asked Proffery.
“I never prayed about it. But I’m okay with it.” said Flanders.
“Let us improve our vocabulary together, Brother!” said Proffery. And they went on to study from a book that was not the King James Bible throughout the next several weeks.
Right away the two Christian men saw one particularly unscriptural definition that made them to laugh in scorn with their Holy Spirit wisdom and to doubt the authority of the writer of this vocabulary book. There upon the printed page of this reference book the author claimed that life started millions of years ago in a primordial “soup.”
“Wrong! Wrong! All wrong!” said Flanders in the wisdom of God.
“Life started six thousand years ago in the week of creation,” said equally wise Proffery.
But the men chose to continue their carnal and temporal learning of vocabulary words from this book not from God.
Another day they read therefrom the author’s statement that Lent was a Christian tradition.
“Ha ha ha!” said Proffery.
“Ho ho ho!” laughed Flanders.
“Lent is not a Christian tradition,” declared wise Proffery. “Lent is a Catholic tradition.”
“And the Catholic church is the biggest cult of all religion, Brother,” said Flanders.
“And lent is not in the Bible,” said Proffery.
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“She’s off her rocker,” said Flanders.
“Crazy woman,” said Proffery.
“But she sure knows her other stuff when she does not go on her little tangents,” said Flanders.
“Yeah! She sure knows her words,” said Proffery.
“I’ve already learned dozens of big words that I had not known before,” said Flanders.
“And I, also,” said Proffery.
“Like the difference between the word ‘divers’ and the word ‘diverse,’” said Flanders.
“And for me the similarity between the noun ‘plethora’ and the adjective ‘rife,’” said Proffery.
“And how ‘tawny’ and ‘sorrel’ are the same color,” said Flanders.
“And the difference between the words ‘antonym’ and ‘synonym’ and ‘homonym,’” said Proffery.
“I could tell my new big words to my fellow brothers-and-sisters at church,” said Flanders.
“I could become a better soul-winner after I learn all of these vocabulary words.” said Proffery.
“Next time I go to church,” said Flanders.
“Next time I go knocking on doors,” said Proffery.
“They say that there’s a first time for everything,” said Flanders.
“And there is a last time for some things,” said Proffery. Flanders understood Proffery implicitly.
And the two backslidden pillars of Christianity went back to this vocabulary book at once.
The Great Red Dragon saw this as it was taking place. And he danced up and down for joy. The Good Lord also saw this. And He was sorrowful for His two sons. The two men did not know of the war between good and evil taking place in their hearts and in their days in their library.
Another day the Dragon of Dragons went back to work upon the Fabled Girls of the Lord. Alone in her bedroom, Gretchen Varsity began to secretly doubt the inspiration of the King James Bible
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as the only true Bible. Satan had been whispering to her much lately since she had skipped out on church, saying, “Yeah, hath God said?” Pastor Fellow, a good King James only man, spoke out much against the modern translations of the Bible, how they had been written by man and not by God. Pastor had preached against the New International Version most of all, saying that verses were missing in that translation and that words were missing in that translation. “The N.I.V. takes away from the Word of God,” Pastor always preached. The elder Fabled Girl well remembered the verse Revelation 22:19 that she had memorized that told the truth of the New International Version: “And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.” Woe unto any who took away from the Word of God like this. Such a one was accursed of God. Woe unto the writers of the New International Version. They were either going to Hell or were already in Hell. Yet this elder Fabled Girl felt a curiosity to take a look and see if Pastor were right. Maybe she should take a little look at the N.I.V. and see if it were as bad as Pastor Fellow said it was. Of all the Baptist flock only the pastor knew the K.J.V. Holy Bible better than did she. Maybe she would go to another church and find out if they had an N.I.V. for her to check up on and to read from some. Such brave new thoughts. She did not dare tell any of this to Destiny. She paused for now, and she said to herself, “I never kept a secret from Destiny before like this.” But she made up her mind. God was grieved over His daughter. The Great Red Dragon was happy with the woman. And the elder Fabled Girl went out into the world to seek a false Bible.
About this same time, the younger Fabled Girl, was thinking about her King James Bible and its 1611 English in which it was written. Those “thou’s” and those “thee’s” still threw Destiny for a loop to her discredit. She remembered how Pastor always preached, “’Thou’ is ‘you,’ and ‘thee’ is ‘you,’ and ‘I’ is ‘me,’ and ‘we’ is ‘us.’” Pastor was righteously sarcastic when he had to be. Indeed he taught his flock that the King James Bible was written at a fourth grade reading level. Alone with her
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thoughts and not choosing to pray her thoughts to God, Destiny Varsity ruminated upon her good fundamentalist Baptist pastor’s warnings about the New Revised Standard Version Bible. It is a good pastor’s job to warn his flock against false teachers and their false teachings. And Pastor faithfully looked out over his flock with many warnings from the Word of God. Pastor well preached how the N.R.S.V. Bible added to the Word of God the words of the Apocrypha. “Apocryphal,” by definition, means “counterfeit.” Thus the Apocrypha was counterfeit scripture. And this was included in the New Revised Standard Version, put into the Old Testament. The younger Fabled Girl twin remembered how Pastor Fellow preached, saying, “It is written, ‘For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:’ Revelation 22:18.” Seeing that the writers of the N.R.S.V. dared to add to the Word of God, God would cast them down to Hell in His time to their doom. “It is no small thing to tamper with the Word of God,” preached Pastor many times from the pulpit. Yet, even now, she said to herself out loud, “But the N.R.S.V. doesn’t have ‘thee’s’ and ‘thou’s.’” And the still small voice of the Holy Spirit whispered in her ear, “Thus saith the Lord,” in behalf of the K.J.V. But Destiny Varsity went on to resume reflecting on her own without listening to God. And soon the Dragon of Dragons whispered his ideas into the backsliding woman’s head, saying to her heart, “Go and check it out.”
That she would do. She would go to a thrift store and buy a New Revised Standard Version Bible for herself and study it and see if she could understand this translation better than the translation that she had been studying from all of her life. She was traditionally and rightfully renowned among Christendom for being the great prayer-warrior. But this woman now refused to pray about her decision. And as this prodigal act was begun in her heart, Up in Heaven, the Great Red Dragon was accusing Destiny Varsity before the throne of God the Father, and the Lord Jesus, the Advocate, was interceding for Destiny Varsity before the throne of God His Father.
Meanwhile, temptations were beginning to fall upon Flanders and Proffery in their vocabulary
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studies together in the first floor library of their mansion—temptations that they no longer laughed at in spiritual derision. This was already the end of their first month together of learning new words. Today, in addition to their new vocabulary study book, Proffery had off of their library shelf also with them a Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary. Just then Flanders discovered his vocabulary study book’s next word. It was “transvestite.”
“Look here, best friend. What a word!” exclaimed Flanders.
He showed this open page to Proffery, and Proffery read it out loud, “Transvestite.” Both knew already what this vocabulary word meant. Both men laughed at the word. But they did not mean the laugh. In their book, this word was followed by a definition and a sample sentence and a whole paragraph going into detail about the word.
“They’re called ‘cross dressers,’ Proffery,” said Flanders.
“They’re called ‘drag queens,’ for short,” said Proffery. They tried to laugh at this reference book writer, but this time they could not.
They went ahead to read this author’s definition of “transvestite”: “A person, especially a male, who wears the clothing of the opposite sex.”
“Weird,” said Flanders.
“Odd,” said Proffery.
“Brother, why don’t we go and take a look at what the dictionary has to say about transvestites,” said Flanders.
And Proffery looked up the word in his big red dictionary. He read its definition out loud for them both: “A person and especially a male who adopts the dress and often the behavior typical of the opposite sex, especially for purposes of emotional or sexual gratification. “
“Is that what a transvestite is after?” asked Flanders.
“I would rather have Destiny give me a kiss and a hug,” said Proffery.
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“And, I, the same from Gretchen,” said Flanders.
“How about the word cross dresser?” asked Proffery.
“Yes. Cross dresser. Look it up and read it for us,” said Flanders.
And Proffery Coins looked up this word in his Webster’s dictionary, and he said, “I don’t see the word ‘cross dresser,’ but I do see the word ‘cross-dressing.’”
“Tell us what the dictionary says about that,” said Flanders.
And Proffery read its definition out loud for the both of them: “The wearing of clothes designed for the opposite sex.”
“I don’t know about you, Brother,” said Flanders, “but Gretchen looks a lot better in her cheerleader uniform than a guy could,”
“Can you imagine a man wearing Destiny’s cheerleader uniform?” asked Proffery.
“Such a guy would look terrible,” said Flanders. But this such guy, thought Flanders, might feel terrific.
“No man will do that to my Destiny,” said Proffery. But, thought he secretly, maybe he could.
For a moment the men dared not to look one another in the face, lest their thoughts betray themselves upon their countenances.
Then Proffery asked, “Shall I look up ‘drag queen’ in my Webster’s dictionary?”
Flanders said, “Yes. Yes! Let’s hear the definition of the word ‘drag queen,’”
And Proffery looked up this two-word word and read its definition out loud to the secret delight of both of them: “A male homosexual who dresses as a woman especially for comic or theatrical effect.”
At once Flanders spoke up and said, “We are not homosexuals.” That was most inerrant truth about the two Christian men.
“You and I are straight, Brother,” agreed Proffery. This statement was again most absolute truth
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about their orientation.
Both then became dumb, neither saying anything more about these three new words and the brave new world that they opened up to the hearts of these two men. The silence at first gave the men a respite for their conscience. But then this quiet became discomfiting. Both Flanders and Proffery wanted to tell each other all, but also nothing at all. But neither best friend wanted to start keeping secrets from each other. And they had to say something, even a hint, to alleviate this sudden and prolonged cessation in their chat here in their library within their Cubed-House.
And Flanders Nickels said, “My Gretchen has an irresistible football cheerleader uniform.”
“My Destiny has a most beckoning basketball cheerleader uniform,” confessed Proffery.
Neither said anymore for the rest of this time. Then they both went separate ways for now—Flanders to the restaurant; and Proffery to the grocery store.
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CHAPTER VIII
Gretchen Varsity sneaked out of Chez Maison, leaving her King James Bible-reading for the day unfinished upon her bedroom desk. Underlined in dark pencil in her King James Bible was the verse, “’The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.’ Deuteronomy 22:5.” She was fleeing this verse. She was fleeing the King James Bible. She was fleeing today’s Bible study right in its middle. She was hurrying on to visit a nondenominational church in search of a New International Version Bible. In short, the elder Fabled Girl wanted to see what the New International Version Bible had to say in this same verse. She came to Ecumenical Nondenominational Church. Pastor had often told his flock not to go to ecumenical churches, for, said he, “The one-world church of the Tribulation will be an ecumenical church.” (Good Fellowship Baptist Church was an independent Fundamentalist Baptist Church) Nevertheless, Gretchen Varsity, upon first visiting this ecumenical church, was most cordially welcomed by all the flock in amity. She asked them if they had an N.I.V. Bible, and they said that they used only the N.I.V Bible. And they gave her one for herself to have and
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to keep. At once Gretchen went and found a countryside park with a picnic table to go and read and check up on this professed “false translation,” as Pastor called it. As soon as she sat down alone on this picnic table, Gretchen discovered that she was wearing a dress and not her blue and red cheerleader uniform. She had been getting careless these past several days about dressing for the day. God had never told her to wear a dress instead of her cheerleader sweater and cheerleader skirt. But this was okay with Gretchen now. She had forgotten before. She had forgotten this time as well. God wouldn’t mind, she thought. And the elder Fabled Girl twin searched the New International Version Deuteronomy 22:5, to see if it said something real different from the King James Deuteronomy 22:5 that she disagreed with earlier today. At once she found it, and she read silently to herself what this translation had to say, “A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the Lord your God detests anyone who does this.” Gretchen Varsity did great study upon this version of this verse without first having asked God His will in all of this. And she came to her private conclusion: a woman dressing up as a man was a person that God detested. Being detested did not seem so bad a thing at all to Gretchen. Being detested was not nearly so serious as being “abominable,” as she had read at her desk earlier today about the same thing. This New International Version verse seemed to this lifelong King-James-only disciple to be watered down much. But she did not mind right now. This idea of a woman cross dressing did not sound so bad a thing to do now to Gretchen after having read this translation’s version. Then Gretchen remembered a coy commercial that she had seen on TV one day. Of course, as commercials go, she could not remember what it was advertising. But she could remember a woman talking on the phone to her boyfriend, herself in what had to be her unwitting boyfriend’s clothes. It was a long-sleeved cotton shirt and a tie and a pair of pants. She was having good fun dressed in his clothes, and he never knew it. What a secret flirt that that young woman was. And Gretchen, remembering this commercial now, wanted now to do the same thing with her boyfriend’s clothes—but without the phone conversation at the while. There would be
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no phone call to him if she were to do what the commercial woman was doing. That had to be fun. There might never be another chance for her. She could try it once and see if she liked it. She probably would not want to do such a thing for a second time. But once might be good enough for her. She would do just exactly that. Gretchen Varsity was going to dress up in Flanders Nickels’ clothes. She would even don his very Slaughter-Blade and swing that around like she were the world’s famous Sword Fighter of the Occident. And maybe she could feel what it felt like to be a man for her first time. With no further delay, Gretchen left the N.I.V. upon the picnic table and secretly made her way toward the Cubed-House. She was praying that he not be home.
Destiny Varsity was alone in thoughts in her upper bedroom of the Chez Maison. Here was where this famous younger Fabled Girl twin prayed for all the world so steadfastly and so diligently.
She was here again now, but she was not praying for the lost and dying world now. Instead she was tempting herself with thoughts not coming from the Holy Spirit. And in this weaker moment, Destiny was reflecting and not praying. She noticed that she had on again today not her blue and red cheerleader’s uniform, but instead her blouse and her long skirt. God had called her to be “Christ’s cheerleader.” But she was not Christ’s cheerleader today. Nor was she yesterday. Nor the day before.
She felt conviction of her sins, but her Spirit was being quenched. And she refused to pray about this right now. She just wanted to think about her brave new thoughts. What were these brave new thoughts? Thoughts that she fed herself upon coming back home with a New Revised Standard Version Bible that she had bought at the thrift store today. Pastor had warned his flock about this N.R.S.V. And Pastor often preached that the modern transgender movement was an abomination unto the Lord God. He taught his flock that King James Version Bible verse Deuteronomy 22:5. But now Destiny wanted to see what another Bible version might have to say about it. And she at once looked it up in her N.R.S.V. alone in her bedroom, and it read, “A woman shall not wear a man’s apparel, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment; for whosoever does such things is abhorrent to the Lord your God.”
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Truly did Pastor Fellow require the men of his flock to wear suits and ties, and he required the women of his flock to wear skirts and blouses and dresses. He never failed to preach against women wearing pants. He believed that the men should dress as men and that the women should dress as women. But here at home in her room in the Chez Maison, as Destiny read this other translation’s version of this verse, the younger Fabled Girl first thought to herself, “Cross dressing is not called ‘abominable’ in this New Revised Standard Version. In this New Revised Standard Version it is called only ‘abhorrent.’” An ‘abhorrent’ thing might not be all that bad, maybe. Indeed ‘Abhorrent’ was a far cry from ‘abominable.’ Was Pastor wrong in his sermons? Was women wearing slacks only abhorrent and not abominable after all? And her brave new thoughts that she was considering were to wear a pair of pants secretly where no one could see her. Where could she find slacks? She did not want to wear women’s slacks. She wanted to wear men’s slacks. Whose pants better to try on than her own boyfriend’s? He was such a dashing prince. His would do for her. But he must not know. And not only Proffery’s pants, but also his shirt, as well. And not only Proffery’s shirt and pants, but also his very own Slaughter-Blade. What a swashbuckler could Destiny Varsity make of herself were she to dress as the very Sword Fighter of the North himself! Swordplay was such a guy’s thing. A girl like her might want to pretend to be her guy. She could sneak over to the Cubed-House, go up to Proffery’s second-floor, and try on his clothes for a short while. Of course he must not be home when she did this. She did not want her boyfriend to know anything about any of this. And surely, with a little luck, his Indomitable and Flanders’ Invincible might not be home, either, if she were to do this. It could be her one big fling. She might not wish for another such fling as this. Most likely for her, once the novelty were to wear off after that one time, she might well not want to try cross dressing again for herself. And, going for it before she could chicken out, Destiny left her house to sneak over to her boyfriend’s house. This renowned prayer-warrior of a woman never did get around to her day’s prayer
this day.
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Both Fabled Girls right now were running off to the Cubed-House. Neither twin knew the whereabouts of the other twin. They were both going to the same place at the same time. But neither twin saw the other twin. And neither twin knew what the other twin was up to. And both twins thought that they were the only ones of the Fabled Girls who were going on this drag adventure like this. Never before had the Fabled Girls kept a secret from each other like this. But their conscience did not speak to them as cogently as did their wayward hearts. Surely Gretchen was not telling Majesty, either, what she was doing. And Destiny had no desire to tell all to Highness, either. To their advantage, right now their he-unicorn and he-griffin were out hunting. So, too, were the twins’ boyfriends’ own she-unicorn and she-griffin also out hunting. The pets, being talking animals, were both carnivores and herbivores. So that meant that sometimes they hunted for their food. And they would be gone north for a long time.
Meanwhile, their boyfriends Flanders and Proffery, were on a very similar journey on foot to Chez Maison. Flanders was coming from the restaurant alone. Proffery was coming from the grocery store alone. Again, neither walker knew about the other walker in their walks. Again, neither walker knew that the other walker was going to the same place. And again, neither walker knew the ideas of the other walker. And both walkers had intentionally left their sabers at home in the Cubed-House. And Flanders had not told his she-unicorn, and he had not told his best friend. And Proffery had not told his she-griffin, and he had not told his best friend. Both best friends were alone on their walks.
And Flanders knew that his Invincible knew not what was going on. And Proffery could tell that his Indomitable knew not what was happening right now.
Flanders got there first, and he stood before the front steps that led up to Gretchen’s front porch of her third-story bedroom here toward the northern side of Chez Maison. Then Proffery got there, and he stood before the back steps that led up to Destiny’s back porch of her third-story bedroom here toward the southern side of Chez Maison. Both men were here now at the same time, but Flanders
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stood before the northwest corner of the great house; and Proffery, before the southeast corner of the great house. Hence they stood kitty corner from each other with the mansion between them. Neither saw or knew that the other was here. The men both took a first step up on their girlfriends’ respective outdoor steps. They paused. Then they prayed with their minds already made up. Flanders said to God, “I’m glad that Gretchen and I are the same size.”
And Proffery said to the Lord, “Good thing for me today that Destiny and I are the same height and the same weight.”
Once at the top of the two-story long staircases, the men paused as they stood upon their girlfriends’ two porches of the four that they had to Chez Maison. Flanders was just about to knock. But then he drew back his hand from the door. Proffery put his head to the window of this porch door where he was, and he took a sneaky look in to see if Destiny were home right now. How much he wanted her to not be home right now. Flanders then put his hand to the knob of Gretchen’s porch door, and he stealthily opened it a crack and peeked in to see if she were gone right now. So badly he did not want to see her home this time. Proffery saw the full view of Destiny’s bedroom from this window, and she was not here in her bedroom. Flanders opened Gretchen’s porch door all the way quickly and quietly, and he stood in the doorway. His girlfriend, at least, was not in her bedroom here. Proffery stealthily stepped into Destiny’s bedroom and he prayed for God’s grace that her cheerleader uniform be yet in her closet, and from here he stared upon her closed closet door. As for Flanders, he tiptoed quickly up to her open closet door and pleaded with God that he find in her closet that for which he had come. Meanwhile Proffery quickly opened Destiny’s closet door and looked inside. Behold, Flanders, a blue and red football cheerleader uniform all hung up on hangers with metal clothespins on a clothes pole in Gretchen’s closet. Behold, Proffery, a blue and red basketball cheerleader uniform all stashed into a tall chest of drawers in Destiny’s closet. Amen! Thought the two men. Their girlfriends’ Utopia Seraphim varsity cheerleader uniforms were here now ready for their wearing!
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Meanwhile, at the Cubed-House, Gretchen got there first some time before Destiny did. The elder Fabled Girl, in feigning innocence, went ahead and knocked on the front door to see if Flanders were home before she went right in. If he were home, then she would have to hide the fact that she had come for his clothes. But if he were not home, then she could have license to go after his clothes and satisfy her curiosity. She waited. There was none coming to the door. Then, to make extra sure, she knocked on the door knocker of this big house. With some luck, neither her boyfriend nor her sister’s boyfriend nor the two pets would be here. This was what she desired. She waited. None came to the door. Then, waxing confident in sneaky pursuit, Gretchen Varsity marched right up to the third floor, came to Flanders’s little closet, and took a long look inside to gaze and to pick out. First she saw his curved brass saber in its sheath. “What a careless thing to have lying around in these days of dragons,” said Gretchen to God about her boyfriend. Himself, being a dragon-fighter, should never have left home without this great sword strapped to his side. She picked up this sword, stepped out of the closet, and drew it out of the sheath. If felt heavy for the woman. Though he was no bigger than she, himself, being a guy, did not feel that this sword was heavy as she did now, being a woman. Then she put back this mighty Slaughter-Blade into its scabbard. She then studied this men’s closet for a long while, making up her mind what she would like to put on. And she chose a black pair of jeans and a long-sleeved white shirt and a dark green smock. This was his work uniform at his job in the grocery store.
He was the head carryout man of the little store. And he always looked good to her at work, dressed in this. Now she was going to be the head carryout man. And she took off her clothes in his closet, and she put on his clothes in his closet. And she stepped out as Flanders Nickels the bag boy. Alone in his bedroom dressed thus, Gretchen made-believe and asked an imaginary customer, “Paper or plastic?”
Then she pretended further and said to this same fantasy customer, “I’ll take out your groceries for you.” Then finally she fantasized and said to the fantasy shopper, “Not many stores do what our store does anymore.” That meant that not a lot of grocery stores offered free carryout service for their
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customers as this store did. Then Gretchen saw the saber still in the closet. Now she wanted to be Flanders Nickels the Sword Fighter of the Occident. She then wrapped his sword belt around her waist, grabbed a hold of the leather strap in her front by her belly in both hands to feel it, then drew out Flanders’s Slaughter-Blade in both hands. She held it there for a while in her two hands and admired it. Then she made-believe to slay a dragon with her man’s saber, swinging this great sword in both hands up and down and left and right and front and back. And when she was done with her fantasizing, she had “slain her dragon.” And she said to herself, “It is good to be a man.” But the novelty of this drag to the woman quickly waned in her heart. And she felt satisfied now with her experiment with cross dressing. And she desired her boyfriend’s male attire thus no more. And Gretchen found herself saying to herself, “It is better to be a woman.” And glad for her womanhood, this elder Fabled Girl took off her boyfriend’s clothes, and put on her women’s clothes. And she casually left the Cubed House to go back to her Chez Maison. No body knew what she had done. Well, God knew. Surely He did not mind. But God did mind. And God was not happy with His once-faithful daughter’s transgender dabbling. Gretchen Varsity this day had made herself abominable to Almighty God for her first time. And though she no longer wanted to do this again, she had broken God’s commandment. And her very foolish searching of the New International Version Bible had a direct hand in this backsliding act of this day.
Right after Gretchen sinned in this Cubed-House and walked away, then came Destiny to this same Cubed-House to pursue her same sin to come. Too afraid to think that someone might be home, Destiny called out from outside the front door, “Proffery, are you home?” None answered. She called out again and asked, “Proffery, is anyone home?” Again none answered. Amen, neither man nor animal were here today right now where she wanted to be alone and unseen. What she had come to do had to be done in utmost privacy. It must have been wrong, if she had to do it in secret. But that did not matter now to this younger Fabled Girl. She was going to dress up in her boyfriend’s apparel.
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And it would be a brand new thing never done before or thought before by anyone else. Destiny thought her coming adventure to be hers alone of all the world. Her life of worship had always been to her “fun that satisfies.” But this drag fling, why, this was going to be “fun for fun’s sake.” And no one was here now to tell her not to do this. And quickly Destiny bolted into the Cubed-House and ran up the stairs to her boyfriend’s second floor, and into his bedroom and up to his chest of drawers. On top of his chest of drawers was his chief responsibility—the sword of swords called “Massacre-Blade.” Oh, good, she could even be Proffery as the dragon-slayer in today’s new fun for her. Blessed was she this day that her boyfriend had proved irresponsible with this straight copper saber. A dragon-slayer must never leave his sword lying around like this; it must always be on his person. She then began to rummage recklessly in his many drawers of clothes, quite tossing many onto the floor and messing them up in their places. And she picked out a pair of blue jeans and a short-sleeved plaid cotton shirt and a pair of black penny loafers and a red bucket hat. And Destiny took off her women’s clothes and put on her man’s clothes. This new apparel to her seemed quite basic and quite practical in its purpose.
She thought upon when she would get up and get dressed each day. And now she thought upon Proffery getting up and getting dressed each day. And she said to herself in her boyfriend’s few pieces of clothes, “It takes men only a moment to dress for the day, but it takes us women a long time to dress for the day.” Men had it easy when it came to starting out a new day when it came to attire. But it felt good for this woman to “be a man” right now for this sweet moment. She had been a girl and then a woman for thirty-three years, and finally now she began to think how it felt to be a guy. After a while, she began to see this kind of thing as not so novel to her anymore. But she picked up Proffery’s Massacre-Blade, strapped it around her waist, and brandished it about here in the bedroom of its soldier. “All the world, behold your famous Sword Fighter of the North!” declared this younger Fabled Girl dressed fully now as her boyfriend. And she went ahead to “hack up a slew of dragons” in her make-believe transgender moment. She then put the saber back into its scabbard. And she thought
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hard upon this discovery of cross dressing. To her, being a lady, this novelty of drag did not last very long for her. Already she was no longer in its spell. And she became uncomfortable in her boyfriend’s clothes. And she decided to right now get back to her women’s clothes. And at once Destiny Varsity took off her boyfriend’s clothes for now on. And she put back on her own apparel. And she spent a long and necessary time in putting the saber back upon the top of the chest just as it was and also much work on putting all of his clothes back in their right drawers and in their right places just as she had found them. Proffery must never find out the mischief that his girlfriend had just done today. With a sigh, she said to herself, “My curiosity has been short-lived. And I have done it. Now it is all done.” And Destiny then left the Cubed-House and began to walk back home to her and her sister’s own home. She felt all right about what she had just dabbled with. She found out what it was about. And it no longer called forth to her. But a sin was still a sin—whether done once or twice or lots of times. God had called his Fabled Girls to dress as cheerleaders—not as cheerleaders’ boyfriends. And God had told them both in the King James Bible, “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man,…” And God had told Destiny to not go and study from the New Revised Standard Version Bible. She had disobeyed the Lord and did go and study from the New Revised Standard Version Bible. And she believed the words of man from this N.R.S.V. Bible and did not believe the Words of God from the K.J.V. Bible. And from that this famous younger Fabled Girl went and committed an abomination in her boyfriend’s bedroom. Though no one else had seen her do this, so she thought, nonetheless the all-seeing Lord God did see her. And he was righteously indignant at Destiny Varsity.
Meanwhile at Chez Maison, two men were discovering the lives as drag queens far more sensually than any woman could. Flanders was dressed as the cheerleader-for-God Gretchen Varsity.
And Proffery was dressed as the cheerleader-for-God Destiny Varsity. But this was not just the attire that could be seen, but also the attire within that could not be seen. And this also included the ribbons and the pom poms. And this included the cheers and the chants and the songs that went with cheer
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leading. And this included the hops and the skips and the prancing that cheerleaders did. And this also involved kicking up of legs and shaking of pom poms and pirouettes of all girls and women who cheered their team on at game times. All these things that gender cheerleaders did in their cheerleader apparel these two transgender cheerleaders did in their girlfriends’ cheerleader attire. And alone in their girlfriends’ bedrooms thus the two men fancied themselves quite the gender benders, and they loved it to be so.
Then from inside their girlfriends’ bedrooms, the men looked out onto the other porches of these Fabled Girls’ bedrooms. These were the opposite porches from those through which they had come. Flanders was looking out into Gretchen’s northeast upper porch. And Proffery was looking out into Destiny’s southwest upper porch. They had already consumed upon their lusts this drag indoors. Now they wanted to go outdoors with their drag lusts, but just a little way outside…just barely outdoors a little way…and right by the doors where they could run back in if they needed to. And Flanders stepped outside like this. So, too, did Proffery.
Flanders reveled in this brave new freedom, finding himself now in the outside world in this sexy cheerleader outfit. The gentle wind blew upon his cheerleader sweater that he was inside of. The breezes played their games upon his blue and red box pleats about his loins. These strange odd ribbons passed across the top of his head in the zephyrs. Oh, if only someone could see him now. He truly looked great. And he felt quite grand. He said in reverie to himself, “I have found the magic of Halloween and its trick-or-treating.” Truly such a football cheerleader uniform like this would be just perfect for him to go door-to-door on that holiday at the end of October. Why, with this, he could make every day Halloween for himself. Flanders had “become” Gretchen.
As for Proffery, as soon as he stepped outside onto this porch, he felt the same kind of illicit sensation across his whole body. As good as this basketball cheerleader uniform had felt when he was inside the house, now that he was outside the house, it felt most passionate. He felt the wind blowing
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upon his cheerleader vest and upon his bare arms. He saw the wind tantalizing him with its games upon his blue and red knife pleats. The wind was whistling through the pom poms that he held in his hands. He dared to desire that someone might come along and see him up here where anyone might be able to see him now. He must truly be quite the sight. And he thought to himself, I have found the heart of Mardi Gras and the Carnival. The only thing that he was missing was a black mask. And Proffery said in dream to himself, “I am now Destiny.”
Then the two men wanted even more. They looked down to the bottom of the two stories of stairs out here. Down there was the ground. Now that was all the way outside. They both wanted to be so far outside in their outfits now that if someone were to come and see them, that they were then too far from the bedroom doors to sneak back inside real quickly. They wanted to be down there now, so that if a man or a woman did see them, that they would have to stay outside here and be seen and have no place to escape to. Things were beginning to get more and more exciting for the men the farther that they thought to go outside. And this they did.
Flanders took his bravest walk he ever took—he walked down the steps of this exterior staircase down to the ground of the large backyard of the Fabled Girls. And he did not stop until he stepped off of the last step. He stood there in utmost thrill. He put his arms akimbo, holding his big pom poms to both sides. This was most to him of what a cheerleader was, standing like this, holding poms poms like this to each hip. He was now “one of the cheerleaders.” And a great stimulation fell upon his body as he stood here like this. But his soul soared to even greater heights of exultation right now simply for what he was wearing. This was the funnest thing that he had ever done in his thirty-three years. And he was happy like never before. And he would want it again for the rest of his life.
As for Proffery, he stepped down the wooden outdoor stairs with some trembling and second-thoughts. Being upon that porch up there was one thing. But actually being way outside like this out in the wide clear open, he was yet daunted. But, as soon as he stepped off of that last step and stepped out
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onto the solid ground, he became bold and confident. He was now in the front yard of the Fabled Girls.
And he had the whole front yard to himself. And once here where there was no getting away, his whole form grew warm with aroused feelings within this cheerleader’s outfit. He began to shake his pom poms with all the noise that he could make them to make. And the swish of the many papers that made up these pom poms was a song greater even than cheerleader songs. He now knew all that it was to feel like a cheerleader—he had shaken the pom poms. His body felt as if it were being carried. His heart felt as if he were being raptured. Nothing ever came into his life quite as enthralling as this cheerleader uniform upon him now outside in his girlfriend’s front yard. And he vowed to himself, “I shall never take this off.” It felt too good to have on.
Flanders then looked out to the land beyond the Fabled Girls’ backyard. He wanted now to leave the Chez Maison and its yard and to walk to town just as he was right now. Even such a thing as this wild and crazy idea could be just the start of a new life for this man. He had to see what people would say. He had to see the surprise on their faces. He wanted everybody to see Gretchen’s football cheerleader outfit with himself wearing it.
Proffery, too, where he was standing, was looking wistfully out toward the isolated county trunk road that stretched to both sides way off beyond. He wanted to walk across the whole front yard of the Fabled Girls and to come up to the road and to walk down its gravel bed. He wanted to go to town like this on a walk down the road so that everybody in town would be talking about for forever after. And he thought gladly of doing this as a regular thing. After all, if Destiny looked good in this basketball cheerleader uniform, surely everybody would think that he looked good in this basketball cheerleader uniform.
All this time, whether in the girls’ bedrooms or upon the girls’ porches or in the girls’ yard, neither Flanders Nickels nor Proffery Coins had any idea at all that the other was here, too, doing just the same things, at just about the same time, in the same kinds of clothes.
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Then the men remembered how they had left behind themselves their men’s clothes heaped in piles in their girlfriends’ closets. Neither man wanted their girlfriends to come home and see this and then see their own special clothes missing. And the two men became self-conscious here now where they stood. And they became suddenly shy and timorous in their girlfriend’s apparel. One of the four who lived in the Chez Maison were bound to come back sometime soon. Indeed all four of them—mistresses and pets—could come back home and catch these men in their compromising attire. And the men became nervous and jumpy and fearful now. And, in a hurry, they ran back to the two closets, took off the Fabled Girls’ cheerleader uniforms and meticulously put the pieces back where they were found just as they were and did put back on their own gender proper clothes. They both thought thus to have repented. And then in stealthy flight on foot, the two men left Chez Maison in different directions. And Flanders had never known Proffery to have been there. And Proffery had never known Flanders to have been there. They both now had secrets that they would never tell anybody.
And just as the men came back home to the Cubed-House, their pets came back from the hunt.
And just as the women came back home to the Chez Maison, their pets came back from the hunt.
And none of the four believers had any idea of the great and sinful mischief done this day by all four of them.
As for Fabled Girls, they tried cross dressing this once, and they no longer wanted to try it again.
But as for the Fabled Girls’ boyfriends, they tried cross dressing this once, and they wanted to keep on doing it again.
There is a reason why there is such a word as “drag queen,” and why there is no such word as “drag king.”
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CHAPTER IX
Flanders and Gretchen got together with Invincible and Majesty at the Cubed-House out back in the back hundred acres for a date. Out here were eagles’ nests and hawks’ nests atop towering and broad and green weeping willow trees. Flanders was watching these great birds of prey flying around in the upper skies and he said, “Our Maker is a most wise Designer.”
Gretchen was running her hands across a branch of willow leaves at the level of her head. She said, “The Lord made these. The leaves are small, and yet their shade is large.”
Majesty spoke and said, “Those eagles make a unicorn to wish to have some eagle in him. They are so noble and so glorious among creation.”
And Invincible spoke and said, “I, too, think now about what it would be like to be a griffin.”
And Gretchen said, “I love your unicorn wings better than I do eagle wings or hawk wings, Majesty.”
“You unicorns have bigger wings than do griffins, Invincible,” said Flanders.
Gretchen Varsity then spoke and said, “I remember my favorite ride ever on your back,
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O Majesty.”
“The one to the Mediterranean Sea indeed, my mistress,” said Majesty.
“What was in the Mediterranean Sea of all places for you to go?” asked Flanders.
“An island,” said the elder Fabled Girl.
“A nice island?” asked Flanders.
“A magic island, Flanders,” said Gretchen.
“Could we go there as a foursome some day?” asked Invincible.
“It might not be there now,” said Majesty.
“And it wasn’t there before,” said Gretchen.
“It was a magic island,” said Majesty, repeating what his mistress had said.
Gretchen said, “It was called ‘Utopia.’”
“It sounds like a mysterious little paradise,” said Flanders.
“I got my cheerleader uniform there,” said Gretchen.
“The one you have on now?” asked Invincible.
“Uh huh, Invincible,” said Gretchen Varsity.
“How did you know that God wanted you to go there?” asked Flanders.
“He told me one day when I was praying, that I must go to Utopia in the Mediterranean Sea and find something that He had for me,” said Gretchen.
“God had a present for you there, Girlfriend,” said Flanders, marveling at the ways of God.
Then Invincible asked her, “Gretchen, how did you find the right island in the Mediterranean?
There are lots of islands in there—some real big.”
“Tell her, Majesty,” said Miss Varsity the elder with joy in her voice.
And Majesty said, “God said to her, ‘Look for the rainbow that covers a whole island from one end to the other end.’”
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“And we did that—my good he-unicorn and I.” said Gretchen. “We went flying from the Midwest here and to the eastern seaboard of our great country and across the Atlantic Ocean and into the heart of Europe. And Majesty here then took us out over the waters of the Mediterranean. And he spent his time looking for islands with big rainbows over them. But I spent my time looking for big rainbows with islands underneath them.”
Majesty said, “At first I saw islands and no rainbows. And my mistress saw rainbows and no islands.”
“Then I saw it,” said Gretchen. “Both an island and a rainbow in the same place.”
“Then God spoke from Above,” said Majesty.
“What did He say?” asked Invincible.
And Gretchen said, “He told us two, ‘Behold Utopia.’”
Majesty said, “His voice was like the sound of many waters.”
“You were there,” said Flanders. “Then what happened?’
“I had good Majesty to descend right away, and we lighted upon the island, and I dismounted,” said the elder Fabled Girl. “My legs and hips and bottom were stiff and sore from the long flight.
Majesty’s wings were weary and in need of rest. But his legs were still fresh and strong.”
“We two saw a building of red brick that spread out left and right,” said the he-unicorn. “And we were standing in front of a sign of red brick that read, “Utopia High School.”
Gretchen said, “And underneath those letters on that same sign were the words, ‘Home of the Seraphim.’”
“We two—my mistress and I—were standing right below the midpoint of the towering and very
long rainbow,” said Majesty. “It was a very great rainbow of ten colors of the spectrum very bright and sparkling and divine.”
“I had never seen a rainbow like unto Utopia’s rainbow,” said Gretchen.
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“Then the cheerleader came,” said Majesty.
“She seemed to be expecting us,” said Gretchen.
“Yourself more than myself, Mistress,” said Majesty.
“She came up to us from behind the school and from off to the right,” said the elder Fabled Girl.
“She had her name on the chenille emblem,” said Majesty.
“Her name was ‘Francesca,’” said Gretchen Varsity in reminiscence.
The unicorn pet said, “And she called forth, ‘Come and watch this evening’s football game, O Gretchen.’ Then she turned to me and said, ‘And you, also, good winged unicorn Majesty.’”
Invincible asked, “Was Francesca dressed just as you are right now, Gretchen?”
“Indeed a very logical and discerning question, O unicorn of my boyfriend,” said Gretchen.
“You hit the nail on the head,” said Majesty.
Flanders said, “This is getting to be an even more exciting testimony.”
And Gretchen said, “Yes. Francesca had on the very same football cheerleader uniform that I am wearing in my life as a believer.”
“But Francesca was a tall young lady, and my mistress is only a regular height lady,” said Majesty.
In understanding, Invincible said, “Same cheerleader uniform but not the exact same size cheerleader uniform.”
“Right, Invincible,” said Gretchen.
“Was Francesca beautiful?” asked Flanders.
“She was a blonde bombshell,” said Gretchen.
“Then definitely not as beautiful as my brunette girlfriend,” praised Flanders Gretchen in sincerity.
“As you always say, Master,” said his she-unicorn, “’Brown hair rules.’”
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Majesty said, “And she had blue eyes, I think.”
And Flanders went on to say another true praise of his Gretchen, “Brown eyes rule.”
“Thank you for both compliments, Boyfriend,” said Gretchen.
Invincible asked, “Then what happened at Utopia High School?”
And Gretchen said, “Francesca led us two out back behind the high school, having us go around the school to the left. And out back was the football stadium. We had already heard the cheering and the activity and the announcing even before we lighted upon this island. But now we were right here where the action was. And then Francesca said, ‘I have something to give you from God, O Miss Varsity.’”
And Majesty spoke now and said, “I could sense a great godliness and goodness flowing out of this tall and slender cheerleader. It was like she had the spirit of the Biblical Ruth or the Scriptural Esther. She seemed more than just a young woman.”
And Gretchen said, “Francesca was a messenger of the Lord.” Then she said, “If angels were women and not men only I would have thought that she were an angel from Heaven.”
And Majesty said, “She was truly a faithful and benevolent and holy Christian girl. And she delighted in being on the verge of giving my mistress her gift from God. And she was going to be more happy for my mistress then even my mistress was going to be for herself as soon as she gave her what she had to give her.”
“Francesca told me to wait a while and to enjoy the football game. And she told me that her Utopia Seraphim were playing the Haven Cherubim. And her home team was favored to win,” said Gretchen.
Flanders spoke up and asked, “Then Francesca must have been dressed in cheerleader blue and red.”
“Yes,” said Gretchen Varsity. “And the visiting team’s cheerleaders were dressed in blue and
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yellow.”
“Which did you like better?” asked Flanders.
In reply, Gretchen stood up and did a pirouette, her blue and red box pleats lifting upward and outward from her hips.
“My mistress prefers the blue and red cheerleader’s uniform, Flanders,” said Majesty.
The cheerleader then sat back beside her boyfriend and resumed her good and true tale:
“Francesca looked beautiful. Her fellow cheerleaders looked beautiful. I wanted to look beautiful.”
Majesty said, “Francesca told my mistress to wait a little while and enjoy the football game. But my mistress kept looking at the cheerleaders. From the home team sidelines to the visiting team sidelines she kept looking back and forth.”
“I wanted to be there with them and cheering,” said Gretchen.
“You wanted to wear what they were wearing, Mistress,” said Majesty with a more accurate statement.
“I wanted to be the most like Francesca,” admitted the elder Fabled Girl.
“My mistress did not watch the action on the field,” said her he-unicorn.
Flanders spoke and said, “That sounds more like me at the football games.”
And Invincible said, “My master used to go to the high school football games just to watch the cheerleaders.”
“That was a long time ago, Invincible,” said Flanders. “I’m thirty-three years old now.”
“So am I,” said Gretchen.
“A thirty-three-year-old man like myself deserves a beautiful thirty-three-year-old cheerleader like yourself, Gretchen,” Flanders said.
“Tell them what happened next, Mistress,” said Majesty.
“Well, all of a sudden, the bright lights of the high school stadium went dark. Nobody could
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see anything. I could see only blackness. Even the sky had no stars or moon or planets shining in it.
And I heard a woman’s voice saying unto me, ‘Good Gretchen Varsity. Your gift of God has come down now from Heaven. Thank Him. Put it on. And live happily ever after in it.’” said Gretchen.
“I asked, ‘Is that you, Francesca?’
And she answered, ‘It is I—Francesca– sent from God with a present.’”
“Surely you did not put it on right there,” asked Flanders.
Gretchen said, “How could I disobey God and not put it on right there?”
“With all of those people all around you?” asked Invincible. “A girl needs her privacy when it comes to something like this.”
Majesty said, “My mistress had all the privacy there in the dark that our Heavenly Father needed to give her.”
“Yes,” said Gretchen. “I could see nobody in that dark. And nobody could see me in that dark.”
“Not even her unicorn,” said Majesty. “But with my unicorn ears I had heard what Francesca told my mistress from God.”
“’Put it on,’” said Flanders the essence of that message.
“Did you know what it was that you got to put on?” asked Invincible.
“I knew. I knew,” said Gretchen in reminiscence.
“What did it feel like in the pitch dark?” asked Flanders.
“It felt soft and sleek,” said Gretchen. “It was in a pile resting upon my feet.”
“All of it?” asked Flanders.
“All of it then just as all of it this day years later,” said the elder Fabled Girl.
“From her two ribbons in her hair down to the sneakers upon her feet and her two pom poms in between,” said Majesty.
“All ten pieces,” declared Miss Varsity the football cheerleader.
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“All ten pieces,” said Flanders Nickels.
“That’s a lot to put on in a place like that in the utter dark,” said Invincible.
“And with regard to my dress I had on and all, I took it all off there with people all around me who could not see me. And with regard to my present from Above, I put it all on there still amid the bleachers full of people in the outer dark.
And Francesca then said to me, ‘Looking good, girl!’
Then the moon and the stars and the planets God did put back in the sky. And everybody could see a shadow of a new cheerleader there in the dark of night. That was I.
Then Francesca said to me, ‘Show yourself to the world, O Gretchen.’ And she turned back on the bright lights of the football field with a command from Above. And now everybody could see me.
My own unicorn saw me first with the lights going back on. Why, Majesty, what a thing to say to your mistress.”
In confession, Majesty went on and told the other two here in the backyard, “I kind of said, ‘O Mistress, I cannot believe you to be dressed this way.’”
“He never saw me like this before. That was the first time he saw me as the cheerleader for Jesus,” said Gretchen Varsity.
Invincible spoke now and said, “Majesty, it sounds to me that what you said were a compliment to your mistress.”
“It was, Invincible,” said Majesty. “It did not come out right, but I meant it as a good thing.”
“I could tell,” said Gretchen. “And that was the nicest thing that you ever said to me, O good and faithful Majesty.
“Let your grateful boyfriend say the same compliment, girl,” said Flanders. “Even now I still can’t believe that you dress this way. It always excites me. And I never get tired of looking at you in that.”
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“That young cheerleader of ago can still stir up her boyfriend now years later,” said Gretchen.
“I don’t know which stirs me up more, Gretchen: you in your football cheerleader uniform or your football cheerleader uniform on you,” said Flanders Nickels.
“How has God blessed me in all of my years as your girlfriend-in-Christ, Flanders, that you love my cheerleader outfit just as I do.” said Gretchen Varsity.
“And I love your face and your form and your Holy Spirit just as much,” said Flanders.
Invincible asked then, “What happened then, after all of the lights came on and you were suddenly the cheerleader?”
“Francesca and all of her fellow cheerleaders came up to me and stood around me and welcomed me into their group. The football game picked up right where it had left off. I did not know anything about leading in cheers myself, and they knew all about leading in cheers. But they bade me to come out with them to the sidelines, nonetheless, and to cheer the Utopia Seraphim with them. And I took a leap of faith. And I did all the things that high school cheerleaders do. I even got to throw little plastic footballs into the stands. And I even got to yell into a plastic megaphone. And I even got to come out onto the field in between a few plays and to yell at the top of my voice, ‘Go, Seraphim!’ and ‘Defense!’ And the fans all said back to me the same two phrases. I have to admit that Francesca’s group were all better cheerleaders than myself. But Francesca told me what all of her cheerleaders thought about me: ‘Cheering good, Gretchen!’ And they all loved me.”
“What a way to start out a new life as a cheerleader for the rest of your life, Gretchen,” said Flanders in hearty approval.
“A woman does not have to be a regular cheerleader in order to dress like one. I might not cheer at football games today here in my thirties as I did that day in my teens, but I cheer now for Jesus Christ,” said the elder Fabled Girl.
“Who won that big game in Utopia?” asked Invincible.
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“We did,” said Majesty.
“He means us Utopia Seraphim,” said Gretchen.
“We beat the Haven Cherubim fifty-to-ten,” said the he-unicorn.
“Then the hard part for me came,” said Miss Varsity the elder. “It was time for me to leave and to go back home.”
“Utopia was a happy place for me and for my mistress,” said Majesty.
“Francesca came up to me,” said Gretchen. “She had a sorrow of parting upon her face. She wished that I could stay. I knew what she was going to say.” In remembering, Gretchen was silent for a while here in the backyard of eagles and hawks. Then she told Flanders and his she-unicorn, “Francesca said to me, ‘Blessed Gretchen, O new cheerleader in blue and red. God wishes you to go back home to the Midwest of the United States and grow and prosper further in the Lord.’
‘I have found happiness here, Francesca,’ I said.
‘You have found Christ there, Gretchen,’ she said to me.
‘May I ever get to cheer in this again?’ I asked her.
‘You will cheer in that again every day and every night for Jesus, O good woman,’ Francesca said to me.
‘I’ll miss you, O Francesca,’ I said.
‘And I’ll miss you, Gretchen,’ she said to me.
And she hugged me there. And I hugged her back,’ said Gretchen.
Gretchen Varsity paused in her testimony.
Majesty said, “My mistress and her benefactor cried.”
“We both wept,” said Gretchen.
“Then they both separated, wiped their eyes, and looked upon each other for their last time,” said Majesty.
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“I thanked Francesca. And I thanked Jesus. And she thanked me and God. Then Majesty and I left,” said Gretchen. “But I remember.”
“It is a sad tale,” said Flanders..
“With a happy ending, Boyfriend,” said Gretchen. “I got to wear this just about every day of my life since.”
He knew all too well how he had worn this just the other day. He had vowed to himself never to tell another soul what he had dared to do. Nobody was going to find out that the great dragon-slayer Flanders had put on a women’s cheerleader uniform. Not best friend. Not girlfriend. Not pet. But, of course, God alone, Who knew all.
“Flanders, you’re not saying anything,” said Gretchen.
“I was just thinking about something,” he said.
“What is it?” she asked in confidance.
“Just things,” he said ambiguously.
“Flanders, you’re not looking at me,” she said.
“I have things on my mind,” he said to her.
“Do tell your good girlfriend, Flanders,” she said in simplicity.
“I’d best not,” he said.
“Flanders, your elbows are trembling,” she said.
“Well, I am a little nervous here right now,” he said, still averting her happy gaze.
“You’re shaking,” she said. “That never happened with you before—not even in dragon-slaying.”
“I am most apprehensive at this moment,” he said.
“Flanders, you hesitate in a decision,” she said. “That’s not like you,” said Gretchen.
“Alas, it has come to this,” he said. “My sin has found me out.”
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“Your sin, Flanders?” she asked, perking up and holding her breath in uncertainty.
“I put that on, O Gretchen,” he did confess.
“What do you think he means, Mistress?” asked Majesty.
“Put what on?” asked Invincible.
“Was it something that you were not supposed to put on, Boyfriend?” she asked in some mirth.
“It was that,” he said, stammering a little.
“What’s ‘that?’” she asked.
“It’s this,” he said, pointing toward her.
“This,” she said. “Do you mean…?”
“Your own football cheerleader uniform,” he did confess. “Gretchen, Invincible, Majesty. Now you all know.”
“You must have truly been the garish sight, Boyfriend,” she said in levity and gaiety.
“I believe, though, that I backslid when that happened,” he said.
Heedless of her own such sin, Miss Varsity the elder spoke and said in merriment, “My boyfriend the one-time cross dresser. I would never go and put on a sweater and a skirt if I were a guy.”
In gravity he confessed, “But I cannot get enough. I have come to need it now all the time. And it is not a one-time fling with me.”
And suddenly Gretchen remembered what she had done in like. “Oh my. Look at yourself, Gretchen,” she said.
“Why do you say that, Mistress?” asked Majesty.
“Why, I did the same thing,” she said.
Invincible said, “You did, Gretchen?” And then the she-unicorn looked at Flanders and asked, “Did you do that for real, O Master?”
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“Aye. I did, O fine Invincible,” confessed Gretchen. “I went and sneaked into Flanders’s clothes.”
“I did. I do confess, girl,” said Flanders to his she-unicorn pet. “I dressed up as my cheerleader girlfriend.”
And a confusion of chatter and of much words spoken among all four at once came upon the once-peaceful land of eagles and hawks here in the backyard of the Cubed-House. Flanders told all to his girlfriend and to his unicorn pet and to her unicorn pet. And Gretchen told all to her boyfriend and to her unicorn pet and to his unicorn pet.
“But that’s all right,” said Gretchen Varsity. “What’s done is done. And it will never happen again.”
Again Flanders told her, “It shall never be done for me. I have found a cheerleader uniform fetish from my sin, and I wish to never let it go.”
And Gretchen spoke and said, “I do not understand.”
Majesty said, “It seems to have worked differently for him in his experiment than it did for you in your experiment, Mistress.”
“Alas, Master,” said Invincible. “They call it “L.G.B.T.Q!”
“Not all five of them,” he said in excuse. “Just ‘T.’”
“One of them is already one too many, Master,” rebuked the righteous Invincible.
“Mistress, the same transgender trick that you just confessed to did not steal you away from God as Flanders’s transgender trick seems to have done to him,” said Majesty.
“Men and women are different from each other. The temptations of one gender and the temptations of the other gender must not always have the same effect upon the sinner, it seems,” said Gretchen.
“Then you are all right with God. You repented of your sin of drag,” said Majesty.
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“That I did. I did sin. And I did repent,” said the cheerleader. “But, woe unto me. I am not all right in God anymore. My sin has reaped a harvest.”
“What happened, Girlfriend?” asked Flanders.
“God has taken away His blessings from me of my joy of Bible-reading,” she said.
“Your first love?” he asked.
“Uh huh,” she said, “My King James Bible. Now since I was so hot to experiment as I did in your bedroom, Flanders, I do read the Bible, but I do not anymore get satisfaction from reading the Bible.”
“That is supposed to be impossible,” exclaimed Flanders. “All the world knows how the elder Fabled Girl is even more a Bible scholar than she is a dragon-slayer archer.”
“God is punishing me,” said Gretchen in despair. “I did a bad thing that I knew that I should not have done. And now I have lost my happy Bible-reading days. I do not know for how long this shall last. But my spirit feels like it is in a drought. It was all my own fault, too. God did not make me to sin. I would not listen to Him. And look what sin has done to me.”
“I, too, have to account for my sins,” said Flanders. “Because I went and backslid, I am now too ashamed to go back to Fellowship Baptist Church and face my brothers-and-sisters-in-the-Lord again. What would they think of me if they were to find out what you three found out just now? Though my relationship with my Saviour Jesus Christ is still the same, my fellowship with my Saviour is now broken. Sin did that to me. I did that to myself with my sin. And how I wish that I could be with Pastor Fellow and with Emmy and with all the flock again just like old times when I was still right with the Lord. My prodigal fetish has divided me from the good flock. And yet, even now that I am sorry for my sin, my flesh, nonetheless, still cries out to have more. And as much as I want to go back to church and hear a good sermon again, my body wants to be near your closet where I first put on your cheerleader’s outfit, O good and gorgeous Gretchen.”
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“I shall never let you put this on, Flanders,” promised the football cheerleader daughter of God.
“Girlfriend,” said Flanders, “you did not ‘let me’ put on your cheerleader uniform that first time.
And you will not be able to keep me from sneaking around and putting it on for myself again after.”
“What can I do?” asked the elder Fabled Girl.
“Can you still pray?” asked Flanders.
“I can. God has not taken prayer away from me,” said Gretchen Varsity.
“Then pray for me, girl,” he said in earnest. “Pray hard for me that I overcome my queer fetish that I brought upon myself.”
“I will do that,” she promised.
“And I will pray for you that your first love of Bible study come back into your heart and give you the joy of the Lord that it had always given you in times past,” vowed Flanders.
“Thank you, Flanders,” she said. “I need that.
“And I, also, will pray for you two, my mistress,” said Majesty.
“And I as well, O Master,” said Invincible.
“I thank the three of you,” said Flanders. “The Dragon of Dragons sure tripped me up, but God is stronger and wiser than he.”
“It is written, ‘O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?’ Romans 7:24,” recited the elder Fabled Girl twin.
And Flanders replied, “It is written, ‘Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.’ Romans 8:37.”
“Amen, Mistress!” said Majesty.
“Amen, Master!” said Invincible.
“Let us have a prayer meeting right now,” said Flanders Nickels.
And the four formed a prayer circle among this land of eagles and hawks, and they prayed.
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CHAPTER X
Proffery and Destiny had a date together in his front yard of tall green grass and big yellow dandelions and much little clover. And with them were the always-welcome pets Indomitable and Highness. The he-griffin Highness was eating clover rather messily. The she-griffin Indomitable said to her, “You’ve got clover falling out of your beak.”
“Excuse my lack of table manners,” said Highness. “This clover is so good that I get a little sloppy when I eat it. This is a beautiful front yard you have, Proffery.”
Proffery spoke and said, “Highness, a master like me would be inclined to believe that clover is more popular with horses and unicorns than with griffins.”
“I’m an eccentric griffin,” bragged Highness.
Indomitable asked, “Master, is it okay with you if I eat the dandelions in our front yard?”
Proffery said, “You know how yellow dandelions are the only flowers that I like to look at. White dandelions do not interest me any. But go ahead and eat up, good griffin friend.”
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“Thank you, my master,” said Indomitable, and she began to graze on the good tasty yellow dandelions with Proffery’s permission. “It’s the stems that I like best,” she went on to say.
“For me and clover, it’s the leaves that I love,” said Highness.
The two keepers paused and watched their griffin pets enjoy their meals.
Destiny asked Proffery, “Boyfriend, have you ever found any four-leaf clovers out here?”
“I saw some,” he said. “And I was not even looking for them.”
“Where did you see them?” she asked.
“I saw them by the road,” he said.
Destiny Varsity, again the basketball cheerleader in blue and red, stood up and went to the side of the county trunk road and began looking for four-leaf clovers. “Boyfriend, do four-leaf clovers bring good luck?” she asked.
“I don’t know, Destiny,” he said. “But I do say that one has to be lucky in order to find one.”
“God can make me to find one if I pray,” she said. And she had a quick word of prayer of petition thus. And she sought her supplication’s answer, walking about and searching. “I don’t see any yet, Proffery,” she said right away.
Then Highness spoke and said, “That’s how my mistress found her cheerleader outfit, O Proffery. Long ago she prayed for God to ‘find’ it for her, and she ‘found’ it. I was there with her when it all happened.”
Proffery asked her, “Destiny, is he telling me that you just happened to find what you have on now and look so good in?”
And Destiny replied, “Highness speaks a little in pun. God had me to go to a place where He had me to be for Him to give it to me.” She quickly added, “I had no idea that it would be this basketball cheerleader’s uniform. Nor had I known just how much that I would fall in love with it once I first was to see it.”
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Indomitable spoke and said, “The Father of lights has given you a most good and perfect gift, O Destiny.”
“James 1:17 indeed,” said Proffery the reference to the Bible verse that his she-griffin was alluding to. “It suits you most complimentary and most complementary, Girlfriend.”
“Thank you, O Proffery. Not every cheerleader girl has a boyfriend who cherishes her cheerleader uniform almost as much as she does,” said Destiny.
“It all started for my mistress with a Bible verse,” began the he-griffin the true tale.
“Which one?” asked Proffery.
“II Chronicles 1:7,” said the younger Fabled Girl. And she recited it out loud to the four of them here now in the tall grass: “In that night did God appear unto Solomon, and said unto him. Ask what I shall give thee.” Then she went on to explain, “Right away Solomon asked God for wisdom. And God gave Solomon wisdom unlike that seen in any man before him or after him. Solomon was the wisest man on Earth. Further God also gave him riches and wealth and honor. And Solomon’s reign over Israel was the glory of Israel second only the future glory of Israel in the Millennial Reign of Christ to come.”
“How does your cheerleader uniform come into play for you in all of this?” asked Proffery.
And his cheerleader girlfriend told him, “After I had read this verse I told you about, I began to think. I began to pray. And I began to feel the Holy Spirit of God in my heart filling me with God’s love. Then He said to me in His still small voice, ‘My daughter, ask what I can give you.’
And I submitted to the Lord and did say unto Him, ‘Good Lord, give me what You will.’
And right away He said to me, ‘Go now, to My island of answered prayers, O daughter. And you shall find what I have to give you.’
And I said, ‘Saviour, where is this island, and what is it called?’
And He said to me, ‘Good younger Fabled Girl, it is in the Mediterranean Sea, and it is called
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“Utopia,”’”
“I heard God say this,” said Highness. “And then God told her to ride my back across the big sea to the little sea.”
“Across the Atlantic unto the Mediterranean,” said Proffery in query.
“Yes, Proffery,” said Destiny Varsity.
“How did you know how to find Utopia?” asked Indomitable.
“God said to look for an island full of fog from Heaven,” said Destiny.
Highness said, “God said that this would not be normal fog. God said that this would be divine fog, a fog that refreshed the soul and revived the spirit, a fog that filled woman and pet with peace from Above.”
“I never felt a fog like that which you are talking about,” said Proffery.
“It was fog sent by God,” said Destiny.
“It was fog full of God,” said Highness.
“I wish to have found that fog for myself,” said Indomitable in pining.
“It was found only upon Utopia,” said Destiny. “And it was rare even there.”
“You went there,” said Proffery in manifest understanding, his cheerleader in front of him dressed as she was.
“I mounted my Highness in Wisconsin, and she flew me from America to Europe. And we soared above the Mediterranean Sea in search of fog which could be felt and an island hidden underneath it,” told the younger Fabled Girl the beginning of her journey in the air.
Indomitable spoke and said, “Our griffin wings, Highness, can carry our keepers halfway across the world.”
“Maybe even farther than unicorn wings can, Indomitable,” bragged Highness upon his and her kind.
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“Were you tired in your long flight, Highness?” asked Proffery.
“A little, but not too tired,” said the he-griffin.
And Destiny said, “I was more tired doing the riding than you were doing the flying, Highness.”
“When did you see it—the place?” asked Proffery.
“Was it Utopic?” asked Indomitable.
“Highness saw it first, with his acute eagle eyes. Then I saw it not long later,” said Destiny. “It was a glistening white fog like a cloud in Heaven. It hung below where we were flying. And we could see nothing below it. But as soon as we descended into it, I felt the very peace of the Prince of Peace in my heart and in my body.”
“So did I,” said Highness.
“I had a word of prayer of thanksgiving, and then we descended,” said the younger Fabled Girl.
“I was almost as excited then as I was the day I became born again.”
“I lighted upon most verdant short grass. We saw a red brick high school. And we were in back of the high school. And the high school’s biggest section was right in front of us,” narrated the he-griffin.
“That was the gymnasium,” said Destiny. “And gymnasiums are always homes of high school basketball games and their basketball cheerleaders.”
“We could hear the game and the cheers and the roars coming from inside,” said Highness.
“And I saw an open gym door with a cheerleader standing in its doorway and looking at me and my he-griffin. She was dressed in blue and red—just exactly as the blue and red of what I have on now. I decided right then that my new life dream was to become a high school basketball cheerleader,” narrated Destiny Varsity.
“Mistress, your teen years to come as a real basketball cheerleader were nothing compared to your days now as God’s cheerleader from all that came from God for you that day at Utopia,” said
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her pet griffin. “Then that mysterious cheerleader beckoned you with a drawing in of her hand.”
“Indeed both of us, Highness,” said Destiny. “What ever she had for me you were supposed to see it, too.”
“Her chenille emblem read, ‘Gwendolyn.’” said the he-griffin.
“Was she pretty?” asked Proffery.
“Very,” said Destiny. “Her hair was red looping coils of spirals along the sides of her head…kind of like Medieval women hundreds of years ago.”
“I prefer in my women hair that is straight and brown,” said Proffery.
“Flattery will get you everywhere, Boyfriend,” said the younger Fabled Girl in flirt.
“We then went into the gym, and there it was all happening,” said Highness. “A boys’ high school basketball game, players and fans and cheerleaders and all.”
“I looked at the boys to see if there were any cute ones to look at,” said Destiny. “But I kept my focus on this Gwendolyn.”
“She was the cheerleader captain,” said Highness.
“She said to me, ‘The game must go on. Destiny,’” said the younger Fabled Girl. “This Gwendolyn then went up to a long line of her fellow cheerleaders, stood in the middle of this line, and led in cheer her squad of many cheerleaders there in front of the bleachers as the game went on.”
“We—my mistress and I—sat down in the bleachers right in front of this line of cheerleaders, at the bottom bleacher,” said the he-griffin. “The scoreboard said, ‘Home: 10; Visitors: 0.’”
Destiny spoke again and said, “This Gwendolyn then came up to me and told me that her home team was the Utopia Seraphim and that the visiting team was the Paradise Archangels.”
Highness said, “I counted ten home team cheerleaders including Gwendolyn, all in blue and red.
But when I looked across to the other side of the gymnasium, I could see no visiting team’s cheerleaders over there. And the home team had ten cheerleaders on this side, and the visiting team
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had zero cheerleaders on their side. Coincidentally the score right now was ten to zero.”
“You then told me, Highness, that the Paradise Archangels must have forgotten to bring their cheerleaders with them to the game,” said Destiny. “Just then the Archangels made a one-point free throw shot. Wondering upon what you told me, Highness, I looked across the court to see if what you said were true. And I saw a cheerleader in green in red. Lo, a Paradise Archangel cheerleader. I said to my griffin pet, Proffery, ‘I thought that you said they did not bring their cheerleaders here to the game, Highness.’” And you, Highness, said to me, ‘She wasn’t there a moment ago. Mistress.’”
“The scoreboard then read, ‘Home: 10; Visitors: 01.’” said Highness. “And now the home team had ten cheerleaders on the sidelines, and the visiting team had one cheerleader on their sidelines.”
“That could hardly be just coincidence,” spoke up Indomitable here in the front yard of the Cubed-House.
“My mistress and I looked at each other,” said Highness. “And we two thought the same thing.”
“Then Gwendolyn said to me, ‘I’ve got something for you, Destiny. It is a gift of God for you.’” told Destiny.
‘A present from Jesus?’ I asked.
‘A free gift for you second to the free gift of eternal life, which He has already given you. It shall be all yours if you are in the right place at the right time here in this gym.’ she told me. Then she said to me, ‘Now look and see our star player shoot and make a three-point shot, both of you.’
We did so, my pet and I, and, sure enough, the Seraphim basketball player shot and made a three-point shot. The crowd went wild in this side of the bleachers,” narrated Destiny.
Highness then said, “Now the scoreboard read, ‘Home: 13; Visitors: 01.’ We both right away counted cheerleaders. We now had thirteen cheerleaders, and they still had only one cheerleader.”
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Then Gwendolyn came up to me again and said, ‘Look and see, fair Destiny. Our hero will now break through and score a two-point layup.’
And I saw their basketball star break through a host of Archangel players, and shoot a lay-up and make it.” said the younger Fabled Girl. “Now the scoreboard read, ‘Home: 15; Visitors: 01.’
And, of course, by magic, now we had fifteen cheerleaders on our side, and they still had only one cheerleader on their side.”
Proffery then said, “God was there on that island Utopia.”
“The land of cheerleaders indeed,” said Indomitable.
“A place where the Lord had put Gwendolyn to answer my prayer,” said Destiny.
Highness said, “We both stayed for the rest of the game. All this while, both teams scoring, and all this while both teams’ cheerleaders being added to their sidelines commensurately in progress by the Holy Spirit’s beckoning.”
“Then fair cheerleader Gwendolyn came up to me and said, ‘The game is winding down. We have victory sure at hand. God shall answer your prayer. Be ready to heed God’s Word when I speak it. And act accordingly with the due faith of a born-again believer like yourself.’
‘What must I do?’ I asked.”
Highness spoke and said to the four here in the front yard, “Gwendolyn answered by singing a hymn.”
And the younger Fabled Girl in this front yard sang the chorus of this hymn that Gwendolyn had sung to her long ago:
“Trust and obey—For there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus But to trust and obey.”
“Then what happened?” asked the she-griffin Indomitable.
Destiny Varsity went on to finish her true tale: “There was only one second left. The home
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team had forty cheerleaders in blue and red on our sidelines. The visiting team had twenty-five cheerleaders in green and red on their sidelines. There was no way that the Utopia Seraphim could lose. And our team was about to shoot a free throw. And Gwendolyn spoke and said to me, ‘There is room for one more cheerleader in blue and red.’ This was God’s Word that I needed to heed! I understood. The last point was about to be scored. The free throw shooter prepared to shoot. Then the game would end forever. I must now trust and obey.”
Highness said, “I saw my mistress scurry away right away up to the line of Seraphim cheerleaders and stand ready and eager at the farthest end of the line some distance away. She was attired in her little black dress. The free throw shooter shot. And the basketball went ‘swish’ right through the hoop. And, behold, my mistress was now attired in her Utopia Seraphim varsity basketball cheerleader uniform.”
“This,” said Destiny Varsity, here now years later. And she curtseyed in her cheerleader uniform before her audience of three here with her now in Proffery’s front yard.
“I remember what you said the moment that you looked down upon your new self, Mistress,” said her he-griffin. “You said, ‘God, what hath Thou wrought this day for Thy humble servant?’
“And Gwendolyn and what she told me,” said Destiny.
“She said to you, ‘Ooo, girl. Now you’ll be sure to catch some boys,’” said Highness.
“And what you said, Highness, when you saw the new me,” said Destiny.
“I did say, ‘Mistress, you’re fetching!’” said Highness.
“For a pet to say that to his mistress, now that’s a compliment,” said Destiny Varsity.
“You are more than all that, O Destiny,” said Proffery. “You’re positively irresistible.”
“Good and handsome Proffery, I always get my best compliments from you,” said Destiny.
“The best get the best,” he praised her again.
Indomitable said, “Every time my master and I pray together, he always thanks God that he has
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you for his girlfriend, Destiny.”
“And I thank God for you being my boyfriend, too, every day,” said the younger Fabled Girl.
“What happened at the gymnasium after you became a cheerleader for the first time in your life, Destiny?” asked Proffery.
“It was time for me to go back home,” said Destiny.
“Parting was a great sorrow for my mistress and for me,” said Highness. “Though it was more sad for my mistress than it was for myself.”
“I knew that I would never see Gwendolyn again,” said the younger Fabled Girl.
“Gwendolyn said to my mistress, ‘Fair Destiny, think of me every time you put on your cheerleader’s uniform.’” said Highness.
“I promised to do that,” said Destiny.
“’And remember Jesus at all times,’ Gwendolyn did say to my mistress,” said the he-griffin.
“And my mistress promised to do that.”
“I could have cried,” said Destiny Varsity. “But good and Godly Gwendolyn said to me, ‘Don’t cry, fair Destiny. Rejoice in the Lord for His great work this day.’”
“Then the two young women hugged in Christ. And after that, we three said no more. My mistress and I left the Utopia High School gymnasium, went a little way outside, and accepted the Lord’s will that we leave blessed Utopia. The Utopic fog was gone now. I lowered my griffin back; my mistress mounted me, and I lifted back up into the skies,” summed up Highness.
“And he flew me back to Wisconsin,” said Destiny Varsity.
“I missed Utopia, but it was good to be back in the U.S.,” said the he-griffin.
“As they say,” said Indomitable, “’There’s no such place as home.’”
“I felt glad to be back home,” said the younger Fabled Girl.
“Your big sister missed you,” said Indomitable.
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“And I missed her,” said the younger Fabled Girl.
Here in the front yard of the Cubed-House, Highness called forth, “Mistress, your eyes lit up just now.”
“I found a four-leaf clover, good Highness,” she said. And she leaned down and picked it and held it up and showed it to Proffery and to their griffin pets.
“Yep! A real four-leaf clover, Destiny,” confirmed her boyfriend. “God does not make a lot of those, girl.”
“You have a beautiful country yard out here,” said Destiny.
“Remember that day I led my next-door neighbor to Christ right here in the same place we are now, Destiny?” asked Proffery.
“He lived half a mile from here,” she said. “And you were so good a testimony of Christ that he came over just to hear you talk about Jesus. And he ended up getting saved that day when you witnessed to him. I remember how you told me all about it on the phone right after it happened. Boyfriend, you are a real soul-winner. He’s living mightily for God now because of you.”
A silence of troubles came upon Proffery’s tongue.
“Boyfriend,” asked Destiny, “did I say something wrong?”
He went on to confess, “I do say that he is living more mightily for the Lord than I am now.”
“Master,” said his she-griffin, “no man on earth is living for God so much as you—except of course for Flanders.”
“I believe that I did something that may have ruined my testimony,” admitted the famous rock in the faith Proffery.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” said Destiny, seeking to defend him from himself.
“I have fallen into sin,” he said. “And I am no more worthy to tell others about the Saviour.”
“Master, every born-again believer is worthy to spread the Word,” said Indomitable. “That is
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the privilege that the Lord gives all of his Christians.”
Vexed, Proffery said, “I did something so bad that I no longer can face an unsaved person and tell him that he needs to get saved.”
“Proffery, what did you do that you think is so terrible?” asked Destiny.
In a crying out of voice, Proffery Coins did say, “Destiny, I sneaked over to your place, went into your bedroom, and put on your cheerleader uniform.”
“You went and did that?” exclaimed Destiny.
“And I was never so glad at having done anything else in my whole life as I was at having done that for my first time,” he said. “There. I said it.”
“You dressed up as my mistress, Proffery?” asked Highness in disapproval.
“Master, you made yourself a girly-man,” said Indomitable in rebuke.
“The mighty dragon-slayer has become now a wannabe woman,” said Proffery.
And Destiny said, “I knew that you had a thing for my cheerleader uniform, Proffery. But I thought that that was because I was in it.”
He sighed and went on to say, “Wearing that was even better than getting a kiss or a hug from you, Destiny. I am sorry. Could you forgive a dirty cross dresser for his experiment?”
“Master, you’ve become ghoulish to your own pet griffin,” said Indomitable.
Then Destiny hung her head down in shame. But it was not shame for her boyfriend for what he had just confessed to having done. Indeed it was shame for what she had done most likewise in her own experiments with cross dressing.
Seeing her face turn red, Proffery said, “Please look at me, Destiny.”
She said, “I cannot right now, Proffery.”
“You are too decent a Christian to look upon your backslidden boyfriend,” he said in the sincerity of his guilty conscience.
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“No, dear Proffery. Your ‘decent Christian’ is too ashamed of herself to look upon her good and faithful boyfriend,” confessed the younger Fabled Girl.
“Destiny,” he said in a choked calling out.
“Proffery,” she said.
“What did you do to make you say what you said just now?” he asked.
“Proffery, I did the same exact thing.” she said.
“You did?” he asked, his angst greatly alleviated and his mind not understanding.
“I sneaked over to your house. And I went right to your bedroom. And I put on your clothes,” she did confess.
He felt such relief that he fell down upon the grass, and he began to laugh unabated.
Relieved herself by his comic reaction, she sat down beside him in the grass, and she laughed with him.
Caught up in the levity of this once-grave moment, the two pets smiled in approval.
After a while, their fellowship came back to them with the Spirit of the Lord. And a sober-mindedness came back upon them. And reality settled down upon them.
And Destiny Varsity said, “I did drag only that one time, and I never want to do that again. I guess that kind of thing is not in me.”
And Proffery said, “That’s different for me. I did drag that one time, and I want to do it again.
It grabbed me and held me and seized upon me, O Destiny.”
Destiny then said, “Though I did that only one time, I no longer enjoy my prayer life. God has taken away the joy of my prayers ever since that one day. You know Psalm 66:18, Proffery.”
“I do,” he said. And he recited it, saying, “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me:”
“And now every day my prayers seem to no longer go higher than the ceiling,” said the
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mighty prayer-warrior of Christianity.
“That makes sense that prayer is no longer fun if one prays and God is not listening,” said Proffery.
“I never lost so precious a thing as prayer before in all of my years with Christ,” she said.
“Woe!” he said in empathy.
“But I’m not a quitter,” she said. “If all of my prayers to my Heavenly Father never again reach His throne in Heaven, I will still pray every day.”
“It sounds like prayer has become work for you and no longer rest for you,” he said in commiseration.
“It’s strange and weird and scary,” she said.
“That didn’t happen to me,” he said.
“You can still pray, but now you can not lead a sinner in prayer to salvation,” she summed up what he had told her of his punishment from the holy God.
“I am too self-conscious to go out with the men of Fellowship Baptist Church on Thursday Evening Visitation now,” said Proffery.
“And I can no longer enjoy prayer meeting with the women on Wednesday Night Bible Study and Prayer Meeting,” confessed the younger Fabled Girl.
“Ouch, Destiny,” he said. “The mid-week prayer meetings were your very favorite part of Fellowship Baptist Church of all the things you did at church.”
“My prayers with the ladies at church, like my prayers alone in my bedroom, now go no higher than the ceiling.” she said.
“I’d get desperate if that happened to me,” said Proffery.
“I am getting desperate, Proffery,” said Destiny.
“You quit drag right after you tried it,” he said.
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“And you tried drag, and now you can’t quit it,” she said.
“It is a spiritual sin of addiction,” he said.
“If it’s an addiction, just make yourself say, ‘No,’ to it the first time. Then make yourself say, ‘No,’ to it a second time. Then say, ‘No,’ to it the third time. Just keep saying, ‘No,’ to it every time it tempts you. Each time it will get easier than it was the time before. After a while, you will have defeated it. And you will be free from your fetish,” said Destiny with confidence.
“Milady, overcoming cross dressing does not work that way for me,” he said starkly.
“Isn’t every addict’s recovery hardest at first and easiest at the end?” she asked. “At first an addict faces horrible withdrawal, but then it is not so bad for him after that.”
“Drag works the opposite,” he said with great wisdom after so recent his first such experience.
“For a drag queen like myself, saying, ‘No,’ to it the first time is easy. But saying, ‘No,’ to it the second time is harder. And saying, ‘No,’ to it the third time is even harder.”
“What are you telling me about your strange transgender fetish, Proffery?” she asked.
“I’m saying that I can tell that the longer I am away from cross dressing, the harder it gets for me to stay away from cross dressing,” he told her. “The longer it is gone, the more I need to get it back.”
“I never heard of such an addiction,” she cried out in dismay for him.
“It is not a sickness. It is a sin,” he did say. “And I brought it upon myself by falling into temptation.”
“What can I do for you, Proffery?” cried out Destiny, no longer laughing.
“Pray for me,” he said in great earnestness.
“I shall pray for you,” promised the younger Fabled Girl.
“And I, too,” said his Indomitable.
“And I, too,” said Highness.
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“I thank you all,” said Proffery. “Only God can help me now.”
And they all went their separate ways for now. And they all four got alone with God and prayed for each of them in quiet time with their Heavenly Father.
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CHAPTER XI
Inside the Chez Maison, in a time of peace and comfort, one could hear the elder Fabled Girl in her prayers and her laughter from inside her bedroom alone with God. If one were standing in that long third-floor hallway, he would hear this girl plotting a clever and game some mischief in her words to God. No one was in this hallway right now. And no one but her Heavenly Father heard her here in her bedroom. “Why, we could do that, Lord. It would be the best trick we twin sisters ever did to them.
And they’ll know that they got fooled but good. Won’t our boyfriends feel silly? I cannot wait till we tell them, and they find out that they had the wrong ones. We Fabled Girls will have the last laugh on them. I and Destiny will laugh for the rest of our lives. It cannot fail,” Gretchen Varsity did pray alone with God. God, Who knew past, present, and future, laughed with her from Heaven. God had a sense of humor with His Fabled Girls twins. And Gretchen laughed again and even harder. Then she said, “I’ve got to tell Destiny, Lord. It won’t work without her. It has to take the two of us. And it has to take the two boyfriends, too. Make her say, ‘Yes,’ to my scheme, Father, if You would.” In the end she
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said, “And can You make it happen real soon? I don’t want to wait long for this. The sooner the better.” God admired her zeal, but knew the outcome. And her Holy Spirit of God laughed within her.
Right away Gretchen rose from having lain on her bed in her prayer of the morning, and she quickly left her bedroom and skipped down the long hall and came to Destiny’s bedroom door. She knocked and called forth, “Little Sister, are you home? Are you in there? Are you praying?”
Destiny replied in a quiet voice, “I’m sleeping.”
“Get out of bed and come to the door,” urged Gretchen.
“I don’t like getting up in the morning,” said Destiny.
“I’ve got an idea that you just have to hear,” said the big sister.
“Okay,” said the younger Fabled Girl. “I’m getting out of bed. Let me get dressed first.”
“I’m waiting,” said Gretchen, eager and confident that her little sister would go along with her.
“I’m hurrying,” said Destiny. “My ribbons take the longest time to put on.”
“May I come in?” asked Gretchen.
“Yes. I am ready now,” said Destiny.
And Gretchen opened Destiny’s bedroom door and came in. Two identical twin cheerleaders at thirty-three years old now stood before each other.
“What’s your plan, Gretchen?” asked Destiny.
“You make quite the basketball cheerleader. Do you not?” asked Gretchen.
“God’s best. I would think,” she said. “And you are the best football cheerleader.”
“God made me into that,” said Gretchen.
“What exciting new thing did you have to tell me about so early in the morning, Big Sis?’” asked Destiny.
“For one day, I could be the basketball cheerleader, and you could be the football cheerleader,” said the elder Fabled Girl.
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“But I prefer this basketball cheerleader uniform, and you prefer the football cheerleader uniform,” said Destiny.
“You do. And I do,” said Gretchen. “And you know. And I know,”
“You’re up to something very tricky,” said Destiny. “Tell your little sister what you want her to do with you.”
“I was thinking that the two of us could go double-dating with our boyfriends,” said Gretchen slyly.
“We do that with Proffery and Flanders lots of times,” said the younger Fabled Girl.
“This time you and I will do it differently,” hinted Gretchen.
Catching on, Destiny Varsity said, “Is it something that identical twins can do on a double-date that any who are not identical twins cannot do on a double-date, Big Sis?’”
“Uh huh, Little Sis,’” said Gretchen with a grin and a, “Ho.” of a laugh and a nodding of her head.
“Oh, I don’t know if that will work with our boyfriends, Gretchen,” said Destiny. “We look so much alike that no one can tell us apart. But our boyfriends, I think, can tell us apart.”
“That’s because we always wear our same cheerleader uniforms every day. But the only thing that our cheerleader uniforms have in common are lots of blue and lots of red,” said Gretchen.
“They are different enough that they do give us away,” said Destiny.
“Pastor and Emmy cannot tell which one of us two are which. The deacons and their big families cannot tell us apart when we are at church. None of the flock can tell us apart. Even Mom and Dad sometimes mix us up, and we are their biological daughters. And our boyfriends’ pets often mix us up. Sometimes even my Majesty calls me, ‘Destiny,’” said Gretchen.
“And my Highness just the other day called me, ‘Gretchen,’” said Destiny.
“Remember how your Highness called me, ‘Mistress?’” asked Gretchen.
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“And remember how your Majesty called me, ‘Mistress?’” asked Destiny.
“And those were all times when we did not try to fool people as to our identity,” said the elder Fabled Girl.
“This time we could try on purpose to fool people as to our identity,” said Destiny. “Like our very boyfriends-in-Christ who know us Fabled Twins better than anybody on Earth except for ourselves and for God.”
“What do you say, Little Sister? Shall we go for it?” asked Gretchen.
“I never put on your cheerleader uniform before,” said Destiny,
“Nor have I, your cheerleader uniform,” said Gretchen.
“It would satisfy my curiosity to have it on for my first time,” said Destiny. “It might be a little on the warm side.”
“And yours might be a little on the cool side,” said Gretchen about her sister’s cheerleader uniform.
“Let’s do it, Gretchen,” said Destiny.
“Amen, Destiny!” said Gretchen.
And the football cheerleader dressed up as the basketball cheerleader. And the basketball cheerleader dressed up as the football cheerleader. And they stood before each other with a smirk and with a glint in their eyes and with mischief upon their countenances,
In a joke, Destiny spoke to Gretchen and addressed her, “Destiny Varsity, I presume?”
And in following through in this joke, Gretchen spoke to Destiny and addressed her, “Gretchen Varsity, I presume?”
And the identical twin Fabled Girls sisters covered their broad smiles with their hands and laughed hard and long and then did some cheers for the opposite sport in which they were now dressed for cheer.
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“Look out, Flanders. You’re going to be in for a big surprise today,” declared the elder Fabled Twin to a man who was not here right now.
“Whoa, Proffery! The joke will be on you,” said the little twin sister to her boyfriend who was not here to hear her.
And the two women at once went to their telephones, called up their boyfriends, and set up a double-date. The four of them agreed to go to the Aurora Diner, halfway between Chez Maison and the Cubed-House. They all four agreed not to bring their pets to this double-date this time. Instead, the pets went to the lake to have a good time as animals do. And the four believers walked to the Aurora Diner—the men walking together from the one side of the diner, and the women walking together from the other side of the diner. The men expected no surprises. The women were expecting to give the men the biggest surprise when the women would go and tell them who they were.
And the four believers arrived at the Aurora Diner at the same time. Flanders saw his football cheerleader, played by Destiny. Proffery saw his basketball cheerleader, played by Gretchen. The wily cheerleaders studied each other’s boyfriends, who were to be their own boyfriends this time, and they saw no sign of discovery upon these men’s countenances. The boyfriends looked completely unsuspecting to the girlfriends. And the four sat down at a booth—Gretchen with Proffery this time; and Destiny with Flanders this time.
The waitress came up to the booth with four menus. And the four studied their menus for a long time. At this booth, the women sat across from each other directly, along the aisle. And here the men were also seated directly across from each other, along the window and the wall. The Fabled Girls were focused hard upon what to have for lunch. Their big menus were in front of their faces, so that they could not see beyond them. Flanders brought down his menu to uncover his face. Then Proffery did the same with his menu. With the girlfriends not able to see them in this brief instant, Flanders and Proffery gave a most knowledgeable glance in their eyes toward each other. Then the men at once
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again raised their menus over their faces to study the menu. The girls had not seen this exchange of silent communication one man to another man.
Flanders went on to suggest, “’Gretchen,’ are you going to have your cheeseburger with extra brown mustard again this time?”
Destiny squirmed in her seat. Gretchen loved brown mustard. But Destiny abhorred brown mustard. Destiny had to say something. And she said, “Yes, Boyfriend. Lots of brown mustard.”
Woe unto this younger Fabled Girl masquerading as the elder Fabled Girl. Surely she was not going to enjoy her cheeseburger this time.
Then Proffery spoke and asked, “’Destiny,’ you will probably have a plain hamburger this time again as you always do.”
“Yes. Yes, Boyfriend,” said Gretchen ruefully and hastily. Not once had Gretchen ordered a hamburger instead of a cheeseburger at this diner. She had always made sure to have cheese on her burgers. Now the elder Fabled Girl was beginning to regret playing the younger Fabled Girl.
Proffery went and said, “As Wimpy of Popeye always says, ‘Destiny,’ ‘I will gladly pay you a dollar tomorrow for a hamburger today.’”
“A dollar would be a good price for a hamburger these days,” said Gretchen, her tricky plan backfiring right away.
Trying to salvage the day, Destiny spoke and said, “And you will probably have your special chicken nuggets with barbecue sauce, Flanders.” She was right. The four here today knew how Flanders liked his chicken nuggets.
And Flanders said, “You know your boyfriend well, ‘Gretchen.’”
Doing her part to rescue each other, Gretchen spoke and said, “And I know my boyfriend well, too, Proffery. You will no doubt have your pizza-burger.”
“Right, good ‘Destiny,’” said Proffery. She was right. Everyone in town knew how Proffery
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loved his pizza-burgers.
Ensnared by their own trick, the Fabled Girls ended up saying together, “Boyfriends, what should we girls have with our burgers?”
And Flanders said, “Why not have a large order of onion rings, ‘Gretchen?’ Nobody loves onion rings like you.”
Onion rings did not agree with Destiny as they did with Gretchen. Every time Destiny ate them, she would get a sour belly and a fit of hiccups.
Then Proffery said, “’Destiny,’ I bet that you will have French Fries. The fries at this diner are big and very ‘potatoey’–just the kind you like.”
Gretchen liked only thin shoestring French Fries. These big thick French Fries that her sister always liked always made Gretchen start to burp.
Flanders said, “I think that I will have fried cheese curds.”
And Proffery said, “As for myself, I will have curly fries.”
Then Gretchen said, “What should we have to drink?”
And Destiny said, “The usual?” That was a mistake.
And Flanders said, “Yes, ‘Gretchen.’ Let’s order the usual.”
And Proffery said, “’Destiny,’ a large sweetened iced tea for you.”
Gretchen always said that unsweetened iced tea goes great with food. But now she was cornered into having to drink her little sister’s usual sweet iced tea instead.
Then Flanders said, “And your customary unsweetened iced tea, ‘Gretchen.’” Destiny always thought of her sister’s unsweetened iced tea as having no flavor. Now she had to drink it in order to keep the twin sisters’ plan from blowing up in their faces.
Proffery said, “I think that I will have a cup of hot cocoa. How about you, Brother?”
“My usual cup of hot coffee,” said Flanders.
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“What about dessert, ‘Gretchen,’ ‘Destiny?’” asked Flanders and Proffery
In uncertainty, Destiny said, “I will do without dessert, Flanders.”
Trying to keep their ruse from backfiring further on them, Gretchen said in like, “I’m not hungry enough for dessert today.”
“Then, girls, I will go ahead and order for myself a mocha frappé,” said Proffery.
“And I will have my peanut butter shake,” said Flanders.
Then the waitress came up to them with a little notepad and a pencil. And the four on this double-date gave their orders. And the waitress thanked them and went back to the diner’s kitchen.
Then Flanders asked, “How do your sneakers feel, ‘Gretchen?’”
“Boyfriend, you know how comfortable I feel with cheerleader sneakers on,” said Destiny.
Actually they were a little too tight in all honesty. Despite being identical twins, Destiny wore size nine sneakers; and Gretchen, size eight-and-one-half sneakers. Indeed Gretchen’s sneakers were making Destiny’s feet quite uncomfortable right now.
Defending herself for no sensible reason, Gretchen said, “My sneakers feel good, too.” But in reality Destiny’s sneakers were too loose on Gretchen’s feet, and they were liable to slide about when she walked.
“I know, ‘Destiny,’” said Proffery.
“Your ribbons look good on the top of your head, ‘Gretchen,’” said Flanders.
“Why, thank you for complimenting your cheerleader her ribbons, Flanders,” said Destiny. She put her hand to her ribbons and ran her fingers down their bands.
“And I like how you put your cheerleader ribbons on the back of your head, ‘Destiny,’” praised Proffery.
She put her hands to the back of her head and felt them there, and she thanked him for saying good things about her ribbons.
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The Fabled Girls looked at each other, and they discovered a major flaw in their dressing like each other to fool their boyfriends. Destiny always put her ribbons on the top of her head. And Gretchen always put her ribbons on the back of her head. And they did the same thing today for today’s little game. But Destiny should have put her ribbons on the back of her head in playing Gretchen. And Gretchen should have put her ribbons on the top of her head in playing Destiny.
The Fabled Girls felt that their ploy was maybe being discovered.
“Oh, they’re just cheerleaders’ ribbons, Boyfriend,” said Gretchen to Proffery.
“Blue and red cheerleader ribbons,” said Destiny, guilt in her tone.
Then Flanders said, “Let’s see our cheerleaders do a little cheer before the food comes.”
“Yeah,” agreed Proffery. “There are no cheerleaders like unto our Fabled Girls, Brother.”
“A cheer?” asked Gretchen. “In this?”
“I am not ready for a cheer,” said Destiny.
“You Fabled Girls are always dressed for a cheer,” said Flanders.
“You cheerleaders are always ready for a cheer,” said Proffery.
“I don’t know about this, Little Sister,” said Gretchen.
“We can not turn down our boyfriends when they ask us to cheer,” said Destiny. “God has called the both of us to cheer.”
“Hear! Hear!” said Flanders.
“Bravo!” said Proffery.
The two cheerleaders looked down upon the floor along the side of the booth at their pom poms.
As the Fabled Girls looked down upon them, the men smiled at each other most victoriously. Then the girls picked up their pom poms. And the four went outside to do their thing—the girls, to cheer; and the men, to watch.
But for their first time, the Fabled Girls cheerleaders were dumb with confusion. The “football
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cheerleader” in truth only knew basketball cheers. And the “basketball cheerleader,” in truth only knew her football cheers. And with their dressing like the other, their identical-twin-trick was on the verge of crashing down upon them.
Flanders called out to “his girlfriend football cheerleader Gretchen,” “Cheer on your team to victory, girl!”
Giving in and not ready, Destiny began to shake her pom poms and to hop and skip about and to kick up her leg, but dared not say anything.
“Let’s hear some chants, ‘Gretchen!’” he called out.
And Destiny gave it a try in her confusion of this moment:
“Go, team. Go! On to victory!
We Utopia Seraphim cannot be beaten!
Defense! Offense! Never give up!
Go down the court and make that basket!”
Immediately was Destiny Varsity found herself discovered.
Completely thrown into a loop, the “basketball cheerleader Destiny” went ahead and tried her cheer:
Raising her pom poms, Gretchen did some pirouettes and some cartwheels and some flips. And she began her desperate attempt at cheering here:
“Seraphim! Seraphim! Seraphim!
Defense! Offense! Special teams!
Utopia, march down the field
And score that touchdown!”
This was even more of a giveaway. And Gretchen Varsity knew that she was discovered.
The men looked at each other with a grin broader than any that their girlfriends had ever seen upon their faces. The girls grew red with embarrassment. And the Fabled Girls then knew that the men had been on to them all along. Indeed right from the very beginning of today’s double-date!
“How did you know, Flanders?” asked the elder Fabled Girl,
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“I know my Gretchen Allison Varsity,” said Flanders.
And before Destiny could ask her boyfriend the same thing, Proffery said, “And I know my Destiny Kate Varsity.”
“I hope that I don’t have to eat my little sister’s food,” said Gretchen.
“Nor I, my big sister’s food,” said Destiny.
“We should make you tricky girls eat your own words,” said Proffery.
“But we men will let you eat the right choice for the right girl,” said Flanders.
And the waitress brought the food, and set it down and saw the twin girls switch places in the booth. And the four went ahead and enjoyed the meal here at the Aurora Diner on this day’s double-date.
Meanwhile the Dragon of Dragons was having a meeting with his Great Black Dragon and his Great Brown Dragon in his tower on his island in the Gulf of Mexico. And the first thing that this Great Red Dragon said was, “We have lost the Great Green Dragon.”
“He fell in battle, but he did not fall in battle gloriously,” said the Great Brown Dragon.
“He fell in inglory, because he lost the battle,” said the Great Red Dragon.
“He was no good to us,” said the Great Black Dragon. “He let himself be slain by mortals.”
“The least he could have done was to knock over to the ground a couple closets,” said the Great Red Dragon.
“He did not even touch that Chez Maison,” said the Great Brown Dragon. “And he had so much fire within him that he could have set fire to a whole town.“
“He would have been better off to shoot fire at the closets and not to tarry to shoot fire at the soldiers-of-Christ,” said the Great Red Dragon.
“I could have done better than that,” said the Great Black Dragon.
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“Your time has not come yet,” said the Great Red Dragon.
“Then let me at them,” said the Great Brown Dragon.
“Your time has come now,” said the Great Red Dragon.
“I’ll make short work of those eight Christian soldiers,” promised the Great Brown Dragon.
“Great Brown Dragon,” scolded the Dragon of Dragons. “Focus.”
“What better spoils of war than the eight lives of the eight foremost soldiers of God could I come back home here with, O Master?” asked the Great Brown Dragon.
“The first Holy Bible,” tersely replied the Dragon of Dragons.
The manuscripts. Of course. That was why this Dragon of Dragons sent out his many dragons nowadays against the Fabled Girls and their treasures in their bedroom closets.
“Let me go, Master,” said the Great Black Dragon. “I’m your number one dragon.”
“Your time must wait,” rebuked the Dragon of Dragons.
“I’m number two, and I must go first,” said the Great Brown Dragon.
“Do not fall for their tricks,” said the Great Red Dragon. “They find out things about dragons as they fight dragons, and they learn to use what they find out against the dragons, and, behold, another one of my dragons falls in battle against them.”
“Not with me,” said the Great Brown Dragon. “I’m a Great Dragon.”
“So was the Great Green Dragon,” rebuked the Dragon of Dragons. “When I used to have three Great Dragons, now I haveonly two left.”
“Master, do send out us last two Great Dragons at once,” said the Great Black Dragon. “We two will come upon those eight and their Chez Maison and their parchments and scrolls. And we will make a bonfire that will reach up to Heaven.”
“Dragon, I need you here with me to take care of things here in my country,” chastised the Devil his demon.
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“Don’t get the master angry,” warned the Great Brown Dragon his fellow Great Dragon. “He doesn’t like his dragons to disagree with him.”
“Well said, Great Brown Dragon,” said the Dragon of Dragons.
Then the Great Brown Dragon recommended, “Maybe, Master, if you were to take a part in this siege of Chez Maison in your self.”
“Very ill said, Great Brown Dragon,” snapped the Great Red Dragon.
“Comrade, our master has a whole Earth with which to keep himself busy,” said the Great Black Dragon.
The Dragon of Dragons said, “I have my hands full with Jesus.”
“Jesus,” repeated the Great Black Dragon his master’s words. “Why does He get all the worship?”
“I would like some of that myself,” said the Great Brown Dragon.
“I deserve some worship myself, too,” said the Great Black Dragon.
“Fallen angels, I want it all!” yelled the Great Red Dragon.
“Master, what harm could we do to the cause of Christ if we did get to those ancient testaments and did burn them into cinders?” asked the Great Black Dragon.
“It would be as if we took the Holy Spirit of God out of the world,” declared the Dragon of Dragons. This Great Red Dragon was wrong.
“Would the born-again believers of the world lose their joy if the Fabled Girls were to fail in their mission for God?” asked the Great Brown Dragon.
“All hope would be lost for believer and unbeliever alike,” gloated the Dragon of Dragons in his Satanic thinking.
“They all still have their King James Bibles with them in their homes,” said the Great Black Dragon. “The lost leave these Holy Bibles unread on their coffee tables, where they get dusty. Most
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of the saved get their Bibles out only when their pastors tell them that they ought to read their Bibles.
And only a few of the saved search the Scriptures daily and ‘eat and drink’ the Word of God as the Lord our Enemy would have all men to do.”
“Which is what the Fabled Girls do with their other six in their little group—make their King James Bibles their main priority of the days,” said the Great Brown Dragon.
The Great Black Dragon went on to say, “Master, have you not already done your greatest work in our wars against the Bible by tempting mankind to write all of the modern translations out there? All of these ‘Bibles’ cannot all be the word of God. They all say something different one from another. By writing all of those false translations you have effectively brought doubt upon all the words of God throughout all the world.”
The Great Brown Dragon then went on to say, “Our preachers of these days all tell their flocks that the King James Bible is outdated. They preach that the King James Bible is hard to understand. And they preach that the King James Bible has mistakes. Some even preach that the King James Bible is unkind to women and to animals. We dragons have effectively taken the Word of God away from mankind. Nobody but the most faithful to God now has a King James Bible nowadays, Master.”
“We dragons have already won,” said the Great Black Dragon.
“We cannot lose,” said the Great Brown Dragon.
Not listening to his number one dragon and his number two dragon, the Dragon of Dragons went on to brag, “Once I take away the very first Bible of mankind’s history, there will be a great silence from God upon the Earth. Just as in the history of the world between the Old Testament and the New Testament, there will be a drought upon the Word of God. All of mankind and womankind and child kind will have to fall away from God’s Word. And truth shall leave creation. And my lies shall take over.”
“We dragons will rule the Earth,” said the Great Brown Dragon.
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“We dragons shall have dominion over man and creation and the angels,” said the Great Black Dragon.
“And I shall rule over the dragons who rule over man and creation and angels of the Earth,” declared the Dragon of Dragons.
“Master, this all starts when we burn up the Words of God in those Fabled Girls’ closets,” said the Great Black Dragon.
“Which I will do,” said the Great Brown Dragon.
“Which I will do if you cannot get the job done,” said the Great Black Dragon.
“I will get the job done,” snapped the Great Brown Dragon.
“That’s what the Great Green Dragon said to me,” said the Great Red Dragon. “That is the only reason why I am sending you to battle there.”
“Master, do you doubt me?” hissed the Great Brown Dragon in offense.
The Great Black Dragon swung his front paw and swiped the Great Brown Dragon on the side of his head. “Do not challenge our master,” snarled the Great Black Dragon at the Great Brown Dragon.
“I have never failed any of my tasks before,” proclaimed the Great Brown Dragon.
“I know that, Great Brown Dragon,” said the Great Red Dragon. “Do not fail this task, either.”
“Master,” said the Great Black Dragon, “you will regret not having sent me first,”
And the Dragon of Dragons boxed the Great Black Dragon on his ear with his front paw. And the master said to the subject, “Do not counter your lord!”
And the Great Black Dragon bowed his head in subjection to the Great Red Dragon.
It is written, “And if a kingdom be divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand. And if Satan rise up against himself, and be divided, he cannot stand, but hath an end. No man can enter into a strong man’s house, and spoil his
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goods, except he will first bind the strong man; and then he will spoil his house.” Mark 3:24-27.
The Lord Jesus Christ is the One Who “binds the strong man.”
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CHAPTER XII
Gretchen Varsity and Flanders Nickels had another date alone together at his place. They were fellowshipping on his third floor of the Cubed House. And it was a cool night with the windows open here in his living room. And the dim lamps did not give much heat here in this room. And the fireplace was cold.
“Flanders, I’m cold,” said the elder Fabled Girl.
“I am, too, Gretchen,” he said.
“And it’s dark,” she said.
“I want some light,” he said in agreement.
“Boyfriend, would you make a fire in your fireplace for your girlfriend-in-Christ?” she asked.
“Just what I was thinking, good Gretchen,” he did say. And he worked with his fireplace tool set and he got a good and bright and warm wood fire going in the fireplace. She shut the windows.
“I’m warm, Flanders. Thank you,” she said. “And now it’s light in here, too. Thank you.”
“A man needs to have his girlfriend to be warm and comfortable when they get together on a
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date,” he said. “And he needs to be able to see her, and she needs to be able to see him.”
They both looked down upon a rug on the hardwood floor right before the fireplace. It was one of those braided elliptic rugs so comfortable to sit upon. As per personal custom, they both sat down upon this rug to chat and to fellowship and to play at romance. He sat in front, and she sat in back. And the cheerleader straddled her legs, knees up, to both sides of her boyfriend from behind here where they sat together. Her blue and red box pleats were pressed against his whole back side of his bottom where he was sitting and spread out upon this rug to their sides. And she put her cheerleader arms around him and around his belly where she sat, her long sleeves caressing his sides and his stomach. And she rested her pretty brunette head against the back of his head thereby. And she sighed in great content of companionship and some subtle intimacy thereby.
“I like this, Gretchen,” he said. “I like this a lot,”
“It’s lots of fun for me, too,” said this elder Fabled Girl.
They sat in magic of romantic silence for a while. Then Gretchen asked, “What should we talk about tonight, Boyfriend?”
“How about how you became born-again?” he asked.
“Do you really want to hear my good and true tale again, Flanders?” she asked.
“Oh. I do, Gretchen,” he said.
“You never get tired of hearing it,” she said in gladness.
“And I most happily can say that you never get tired of saying it.” said Flanders Nickels.
And the cheerleader girlfriend went on to give the testimony of her salvation to her affectionate Christian boyfriend. The following is a narrative of her true and God-honoring story of how she had gotten saved from her sins:
It was before she had found Majesty. It was before she had found her cheerleader uniform. And it was before God had called her to be an archer. And it was before she had found Flanders. Indeed
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it was even before she had mastered the alphabet. She could speak English fluently as a child does, but she did not yet learn how to read and write English as children are taught in grade school. She was six years old and in her first days of first grade at Primer Grade School. She had been a most sassy student at Primer Grade School as a Kindergarten pupil. In fact it was more truthful to say that little Gretchen was a problem student who resisted all discipline. Her teacher, Miss Novice, was a first-year teacher who did not yet learn how to keep order and discipline in a class of students. Miss Novice was teaching her class the difference between the words “under” and “over.” And when the teacher said the word “under.” to her class, little sassy Gretchen right away followed that with the word out loud, “wear!” One day Miss Novice, in seeking to restrain this wild mischievous little Gretchen, had her to sit in a desk put right next to the teacher’s desk during class in session. And naughty Gretchen took a little piece of paper, wrote on it the only word she knew yet how to write—her name “Gretchen”– and sneakingly put this little paper into the metal slot of the teacher’s filing cabinet drawer in its front. Another time Gretchen took a picture book of colors and went ahead to tear off little sections from along the tops of several pages of this schoolbook during class, one page after another. In her simplicity, she did not know that this was wrong. One time in class, playing the floozie, Gretchen grabbed the hand of a boy in the next row from where she sat, and she forced a kiss on that hand just to be a show-off. And in gym class, the teacher asked the students to name parts of the body. Now Gretchen, in her own vernacular at the time, always called the buttocks, a “popo.” And in her naiveté, she raised her hand and proffered her answer with this word “popo.” She had no idea that this was not a real word. And she did not understand that neither teacher nor pupil had any idea of what she had said. And lots of times the distraught Miss Novice had to put naughty Gretchen out on the bench. And being “sent out on the bench” was to be excused from the classroom to go out to sit on the bench in the halls outside the classroom. One day, Gretchen resolved to be good so as to not be sent out to the bench. But that day, she got sent out to the bench twice—one of those times for not getting her gym
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shoes on quickly enough. And there were those times where the vexed Kindergarten teacher had to send rebellious little Gretchen Varsity to the school office. One time in class, Gretchen was so mischievous that the teacher went ahead and gagged her in front of everybody. And the worst of all of Gretchen’s punishments was when the teacher forced a paper towel soaked with soap into her mouth and made her keep it in there. “Gretchen Allison” was a troublemaker all throughout Kindergarten for Miss Novice and all the faculty of Primer Grade School.
But then first grade came. And the first grade teacher was a man who knew most understandably well how to deal with problem kids. He knew about Gretchen. And he was prepared for Gretchen. And he was ready for Gretchen. That very first day of first grade that she had him for her teacher, he introduced himself to his class, saying, “I am Mr. Michaels.”
And Gretchen raised her hand and said, “Mad Man Michaels!” That was what Mom called him in praise whenever she talked about how good a teacher he was and how cleverly he knew how to discipline kids into good behavior in his classes. Hence “Mad Man Michaels” was a compliment. But Gretchen meant it as an insult in her insolence.
Wise and innovative Mr. Michaels said nothing, then went to his desk and took out a spool of string and a scissors, then went up to Gretchen, stood there looking at her and intimidating her; then he proceeded to wind this string around her desk and herself where she sat, and he tied it up as she sat, herself not knowing what to say for her first time. Still saying nothing, he then went back to his desk and put the spool of string and the scissors back into his desk, and he sat down. She had interrupted his class, and the class now waited to see what she would do now before this class could resume. This little kite string even a first-grade girl could easily snap in her fingers. But this trick by this man teacher completely psyched her out. And she had no answers to this. She dared not break this string. Nor did she dare say another sassy word. Nor did she dare even just budge, even though she had lots of room to budge. And the problem girl of Primer Grade School was completely subdued and duly
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reformed by Mr. Michaels. Gretchen was beat. Then Mr. Michael said again to his class, “I am Mr. Michaels, as I said.” And Gretchen shut up her tongue for her first time. Then class resumed for this first grade. And sassy Gretchen Varsity was never a problem for her teachers again for the rest of her days not only here in first grade, and not only for the rest of her years at Primer Grade School, but also for the rest of her years at any school to come for her.
And Mr. Michaels went ahead to teach his first grade class how to read and write with a most old school and highly successful curriculum much like old-times one-room country schoolhouse curriculum. That is, he taught his class from the King James Version Bible how to read and write. And his old-school ways of teaching had a most glorious and eternal result. Not only did all of his first-grade students pass reading class and writing class and spelling class with all “A’s,” but many also all became born-again Christians at a very young age, who went on to live for Christ ever since. And Gretchen was one of them. For Gretchen, it was through Scripture verses about Christ’s love for her that she got born again. Mr. Michaels preached Christ’s love to little Gretchen with the written and the spoken and the preached Word of God.
That first such Bible verse was John 15:13, wherein it is written, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” When Gretchen asked this teacher Who this Man was who laid down his life for his friends, the teacher told her, “The Good Lord Jesus Christ.” Gretchen then asked him if this Lord Jesus loved her more than her brothers loved her, and he said, “Yes.” Then Gretchen asked him if this Jesus loved her more than her Mom and Dad loved her, and he told her, “Yes.” Then Gretchen asked him if the Lord loved her more than even Destiny loved her, and again he said, “Yes.”
Then Gretchen said, “Mr. Michaels, I believe that this Jesus loved me enough that He gave His life for me.”
“Amen!” the first grade teacher praised God boldly and spiritually before little Gretchen.
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The second such verse about the love of Christ for her that the teacher taught her was Ephesians
3:18-19, wherein it is written, “May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.”
To this, Gretchen asked Mr. Michaels, “Is Christ’s love for me broader than anything else is?”
He said, “It is, O Gretchen.”
She then asked her teacher, “Is Christ’s love for me longer than anything else is?”
“It is, Gretchen,” he said.
She then asked, “And is his love deeper than anything else is?”
“It is,” he said.
And she asked, “And is it higher than anything else is?”
He said, “It is.”
“What kind of love is that?” asked the elder Fabled Girl in amazement.
“It is ‘Agape love,’ the kind of love that only the Lord, the God of love, has,” declared the first-grade teacher.
“I bet that He loves even me—a sinner who does bad things,” said little Gretchen.
“Amen!” said the teacher. “Christ truly does.”
The third such verse about Christ Jesus’s love for Gretchen Varsity that the teacher taught her and the rest of her class was Luke 23:34, which says, “Then said Jesus, Father; forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.”
“What was happening to Jesus here that He went and forgave them, Mr. Michaels?” asked little
Gretchen.
“They were crucifying Him,” said Mr. Michaels.
“Crucifying Him?” she asked. “What’s that?”
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“That was when they nailed Him to the cross through His hands and His feet,” told the teacher the hard truth of the Lord Jesus’s death.
“The cross of Calvary?” asked Gretchen.
“Yes, Gretchen,” said the teacher.
“I heard about that,” she said. “Why did they do that?”
“Because they were sinners, and He was sinless,” said Mr. Michaels.
“If Jesus were God, why did He let them do that to Him?” asked the younger Fabled Girl.
“Because of His perfect love,” said the teacher.
“Did Jesus’s love for me send Him to the cross then, Mr. Michaels?” asked little Gretchen.
To this the teacher sang a refrain of hymn:
“He could have called ten thousand angels
To destroy the world and set Him free.
He could have called ten thousand angels,
But He died alone for you and me.”
“Then did Jesus go and die for my sins, Mr. Michaels?” asked little Gretchen.
“He did,” said the teacher. “And He arose from the grave on the third day.”
“He lives,” said Gretchen. “He rose from the dead.”
“Hence the miracle of Easter,” he told her.
“Such a thing as arising from the grave is impossible if one were not God. But all things are possible for God,” said little Miss Varsity.
“Perfect is Christ’s love for you, Gretchen. But how much do you love Him?” asked the teacher.
“I do not know Him like you know Him, Mr. Michaels,” she said. “How can I love Him back as He loves me?”
“You can love Him back by accepting the free gift of eternal life,” said the first grade teacher.
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“What’s that like?” she asked.
“That’s where one receives the Saviour into her heart,” he told her.
“Is that called ‘being born again?’” she asked.
“It is,” he told her. “If one gets born again, he or she will never have to spend one moment in Hell to come. But if one does not get born again, he or she will spend eternity to come in Hell.”
“And does that also mean that if I do become born again that I will get to be forever with Jesus in Heaven to come? And does that mean that if I do not get born again that I will never get to see even one moment with Him Up in Heaven?” inquired little Gretchen.
“Yes, Gretchen,” affirmed Mr. Michaels. “All of eternity depends upon what you do about Jesus in this life.”
“I want to fall in love with Jesus. I want to go to Heaven. I want not to go to Hell,” said Gretchen. “Jesus loves me.”
“Jesus loves. Jesus lives. Jesus saves,” said her teacher.
“Can you help me to become a Christian like yourself, Mr. Michaels?” she asked.
“The great honor is mine and the lord’s,” said this first grade teacher and mighty soul-winner.
And he led her through the sinners’ prayer unto her own so great salvation. In this prayer, she confessed her sin nature and her culpability for her sins; she repented in the Lord; she confessed the Gospel of salvation; and she asked for God to give her everlasting life; and she trusted God—and God alone—to save her. And she did so in addressing the Father in the words of the Holy Spirit and in the name of the Son. And she finished this prayer off with an, “Amen.”
This was how Gretchen Allison Varsity had become a born-again believer long ago.
“Amen, O Girlfriend-in-the-Lord,” said Flanders with her now on this braided elliptic rug. “Praise Jesus your personal Saviour and mine!”
“It is great to be saved from one’s sins,” she said. “It was the best thing that I ever did.”
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“You are going to split Heaven wide open when you get raptured, woman.” he told her.
“”Yes!” she said in fervency. Then she said, “My legs are getting stiff, sitting like this.”
“Shall we switch places?” he asked.
“Yes. Let’s, cute Boyfriend,” she said. And they switched positions here in front of the fireplace in Flanders’s living room. She now sat in front upon the elliptic rug, and he now sat in back. As she had been sitting, so, too, now was Flanders sitting—his legs bent at the knees and straddling both sides of his cheerleader, her blue and red box pleats all scattered about herself right against himself right there as he sat. But in his case, he leaned against her back and put his arms around her midriff from behind, his hands feeling her chenille emblem, and gave forth a sigh of reverie.
“Do you like this, Flanders?” asked the elder Fabled Girl.
“I like this, Gretchen,” he told her.
“I like this, too,” she said. “Now go and tell me the testimony of your salvation when it happened for you, Boyfriend.”
And Flanders Arckery Nickels told her his great and true tale of conversion to Christ some many years ago. This was how he had become a born-again Christian:
It was through a girl named, “Bonnie,” a pretty brunette whom Flanders was not attracted to because he was not old enough yet to find girls attractive. She lived to ride her pet horse up and down the roads of Aurora, herself dressed in black top to bottom in a cowgirl outfit. Her horse was black; her attire was black; her life was black. Bonnie was unhappy. And she always wondered what death was like. And she did not always wish to stay living. She had severe depression all the hours of her days every day. She was yet lost in her sins. She was without Christ. She was without hope. Her inner soul did not have the allure of her outer appearance. And her spirit’s wretchedness shone in her brown eyes.
Flanders understood this girl. He himself had no clue about any Saviour out there. He had the
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same Hell awaiting him in the life to come as she did at this point, neither girl nor boy truly knowing this in their sorrowful hearts. They went riding her horse together, and he listened to her tell gloomy things, and he regularly tried to cheer her up as they rode. Bonnie spoke about death and dying and damnation. She told him that the proper definition of time should be, “the measurement of seconds and minutes and hours and days and weeks and months and years and decades that every living thing has until he dies.” Bonnie’s life—both in her times with her black horse and in her times without her black horse—were veritable sloughs of despond. Indeed if Flanders did not find horses and horseback riding such a novel thing in life, he would not have spent time with this depressing teenage older girl. One day on a ride on her horse, she invited Flanders to her Mom and Dad’s house. She had said to him, “Come over sometime, Flanders. I’ve got something that I want to show you in the attic.”
And he asked his mom and dad if he could go and visit this girl who lived just down the street, and they gave him the okay, Mom told him, ‘Be careful with Bonnie. Don’t let her hurt herself.”
And Dad told him, “Sometimes suicide people take another person’s life before they take their own life. Take heed, and help the poor girl, Flanders.”
And Flanders went and visited Bonnie at her parents’ house. Her mom said to him, “Thank God that my daughter has a good friend like you, Flanders.”
And her dad said to him, “You have been a great blessing to Bonnie, Flanders. Thanks for coming over like this.”
And Flanders said, “She said that she has something to share with me.”
And Bonnie came into the room, and she said, “All of my hourglasses.”
“Ah, Bonnie, you’re going into the attic again,” said her mom in grief and a mother’s love.
“Bonnie, you’re spending too much time in the attic and not enough time riding your handsome horse,” said her dad in a word of encouragement.
“I need to go to the attic and watch time,” she said dolefully.
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Flanders followed Bonnie up three flights of steps to the attic on the fourth floor of the house. He was never in her attic before. “It’s dark in here,” he said.
“I’ll turn on a light just for you, Flanders,” she said.
She groped along the attic wall and found a switch and turned it on. Behold a dim ceiling lamp of three dim bulbs. Flanders saw on the wall instead of a regular switch a circular knob.
“So this is what a rheostat switch looks like,” said Flanders.
“Uh huh,” said Bonnie. “Dad made sure that our whole house had all rheostat lights.”
“Is the whole house here at night as dim as this attic?” he asked.
“Uh uh,” she said. “If I want I can turn this ceiling lamp real bright. But I don’t like bright light.”
“It’s so dark in this attic with how low you have the rheostat set, Bonnie,” he said.
“For me it is not dark enough in here,” she said. “The important thing is that I can still see my hourglasses. Do you see my hourglasses now, Flanders?”
His eyes adjusted now to the very dim light, he said, “I can see them now. There are dozens of them all spread out on big tables.”
“Shall we watch time together, Flanders?” she asked.
He did not reply. And right away she picked up an hourglass that was a good twelve inches tall, and she turned it over and set it back down. Then she pulled out two folding chairs and set them up for herself and for Flanders. And they sat down and watched the sands fall from the top vessel to the bottom vessel of the big hourglass. He was bored. She was morose. And she said, “All of my aunts, when we get together with them, always gossip and say to each other, ‘Did you hear who died?’ and ‘Did you know that such-and-such passed away?’ and ‘Did you see that we lost another one of our family the other day?’ It got so bad for me to hear all about death and dying that now I am afraid that they will say to each other, ‘Poor Bonnie. She died so young.’ Death is my scariest thing in my life.”
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“Maybe staring at this hour glass is not a good thing for you to do like this, Bonnie,” he said.
“You watch time thus, and it makes you to dwell on death.”
Saying nothing in reply, Bonnie stood up and began to turn over all of the other hourglasses that were on this table. Now she had seven different hourglasses of seven different sizes all running down their sands of time. She then said, “Worse yet, I could live a long life and die an old woman.”
He then said, “Don’t talk that way, Bonnie.”
“You only live once,” she said morbidly about herself. Then she went over to the next table, in an even darker part of this attic. And he could discern her arms reaching out and turning over more hourglasses and setting them back down and bending over to gaze upon them.
“This is not good what you do,” he told her.
“There is another table over here next to the wall,” she replied. And he watched her to disappear in the darkest corner of this attic. He could not see her set up more hourglasses upon the table top, but he could hear the setting back down of them upon wood.
“Bonnie, you’re beside yourself,” he said.
“I’m just holding on to life for as long as I can,” she said. “And these hourglasses do that for me.”
“How do they do that for you?” he asked her.
“By grabbing a great hold upon time itself,” she said. “I watch all of the sands fall from the top to the bottom, and I am cast into time’s spell, and I no longer fear the end of life.”
She then went throughout this big attic—in dim areas and in utter dark areas—turning over all the rest of her hourglasses upon all the rest of her tables. Then she came back and sat back with Flanders at his table. And she put her chin upon this table edge, rested her head upon this table, and stared into this first hourglass, her hands upon the top of her head.
And Flanders felt a demonic depression coming upon him where he sat next to her. It had come
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from within Bonnie. He jumped up off of his chair and cried out, “I feel the Devil!”
“Don’t be afraid of the Dragon of Dragons, Flanders. I dance with the Devil in the dark,” she said.
“These hourglasses are evil,” he said to her. “I’ve got to get out of this attic while I still can.”
Just then her dad called forth from the entrance of this attic, saying, “Bonnie, there are two people here who want to see you.”
“I don’t want to see anybody,” she said. Then she asked, “Who are they?”
And her dad said, “They are Baptists. One is the pastor. The other is his usher.”
“What do they want?” she asked.
“They want to talk to you about Jesus,” her dad said to her.
“I don’t need Jesus,” she yelled at her dad.
“Well I say that I think that you do,” said her dad.
“Make them go away,” she said.
“Come down with me at once, Bonnie,” ordered her dad with authority.
And she obeyed her dad and went back down the stairs with him, Flanders following and very glad to escape this evil attic. But Bonnie made sure to take six hourglasses with her down the three flights of stairs, holding them tenderly against herself in both arms.
Once in the living room, she set the hourglasses upon the TV table to both sides of the TV. But to be polite, Bonnie turned away from the hourglasses and regarded the two Baptist visitors. Flanders felt a Holy Spirit in this living room with these two good and Godly church people.
The Baptist pastor began by saying, “What is time, in the eyes of a born-again believer?”
Right away, Bonnie said, “It is the duration until one goes and dies.”
“Not so for Christians, young lady,” said the pastor. “For the Christian, time is the duration we have to serve Jesus in this life.”
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Getting into this, Flanders sat up and asked. “Don’t Christians die, also?”
“Yes,” said the pastor. “Death comes upon saved and unsaved alike.”
“But then what?” Flanders asked.
Pastor said, “For the saved, after death comes Heaven for forever. For the lost, after death comes the fires of Hell for forever.”
“Heaven forever,” said Flanders in thoughts out loud.
“Eternal life,” said the usher. “Also called ‘everlasting life.’”
“Hell forever,” said Flanders more thoughts out loud.
“The second death,” said the usher, “Also called ‘the lake of fire.’”
“All born again believers go to Heaven when they die. All who are not born again believers have to go to Hell when they die,” said Flanders, understanding the eternal truths that these two good Scripture people had just shared with this bunch here in the living room.
The usher said, “There is no nice way to tell someone that they are going to Hell. But we say it with Christian love.”
“Indeed warning people about Hell is the most loving thing that we can do for others,” said the pastor.
“Those are very hard words,” said Flanders, yet indignant. “But I must need to hear them said to me.”
“Fear of Hell is a very good reason to get saved,” said the usher.
“We laborers-for-Christ cannot get a person saved unless we first get him to know that he is lost,” said the pastor.
“I need God,” said Flanders, convicted of his sins.
“I need God,” said the family of Bonnie, but not Bonnie.
Then Bonnie said, “I need God, too.” Just then her six hourglasses suddenly fell from the table
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onto the hardwood floor and broke. Terror came upon this family and upon Flanders.
“It is written,” declared the pastor, “I have just beheld Satan as lightning fall from Heaven.”
“Whoa, Pastor!” exclaimed the usher, not a little afraid himself.
“It is written, good seeking folk, ‘And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.’ John 8:32. Again it is written, ‘If the Son shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.’ John 8:36.” preached the good pastor.
“The time is right. Isn’t it, Pastor?” asked the usher.
“The time is right, Brother,” said the pastor.
And the usher said, “Whoever wants to become a born-again believer, just repeat after me in prayer line-by-line.”
And this usher led Flanders and Bonnie and her mom and her dad and the whole rest of her family that were all here in this living room through the sinners’ prayer. And this was what Flanders Nickels and all of the rest here with him did pray to get saved from their sins: “Dear Father in Heaven:
I am a person full of all kinds of sins. And I alone am to blame for all of them. And because I have sinned against You a holy God, I have pay for my sins myself by going to Hell and suffering torments for ever. But You sent Your only begotten Son Jesus Christ to pay for my sins for me, so that I do not have to burn in Hellfire. Jesus did this by shedding His sinless blood for me on the cross of Calvary. And not only that, but He the Lord also died for me there in my place. Then, on the third day, this same Christ rose again from His grave. Why, He arose from the dead! I am sorry for the sins that I have done. And I want to change that now with some help from You. And I ask You to forgive me. If You would, cleanse me, clean me up and wash me white as snow. Precious Saviour of the world, I ask You to become my own personal Saviour. Save me from Hell. Save me for Heaven. Thank You, O Jesus. In Your name I pray. Amen.”
Thus did Flanders Nickels find his own so great salvation.
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“That, pretty Gretchen, is how your boyfriend became a born-again Christian.” said Flanders to Gretchen here on the elliptic rug before the fireplace in his living room.
“Did the girl change her ways, Flanders?” asked Gretchen. “Did God change her and give her joy in the Lord?”
“Yes. Right away Bonnie said ‘Praise Jesus!’ for her first time,” said Flanders. “Right away she got out broom and dustpan and vacuum cleaner and took away the broken hourglasses from the floor. And then she went on to throw out her hourglass collection of the attic. They were not evil in themselves, but for her they would have been a temptation in her walk with Christ. And she started to dress in white. I found her riding her nice horse with herself dressed in a cowgirl apparel all white from then on. And she was happy, where she used to be unhappy. God made a most miraculous change in Bonnie.”
“God made the difference in her,” said Gretchen. “The Word of God took the Devil right out of her.”
“You know how Isaiah 55:10-11 goes about God’s Word, Gretchen,” he said. “Would you recite it out loud for me to hear, girl?”
And the elder Fabled Girl recited this Scripture out loud for her affectionate boyfriend: “For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.”
“Praise the King James Version Bible the written Word of God,” said Flanders.
“Praise Christ Jesus the living Word of God,” said Gretchen Varsity.
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CHAPTER XIII
The cheerleader Destiny and her boyfriend Proffery were on a date alone at the Cubed-House in his second floor living quarters in his dining room. He had made for her and himself omelets and hash browns and pancakes. And to drink she had white grape juice from Niagara grapes, and he had dark grape juice from Concorde grapes. And breakfast was done. Sitting in his wooden chair at the dining room table, Proffery said, “Come and sit on my lap, Destiny.”
“I thought that you’d never ask,” she said. And he pulled away from the table for her. And the basketball cheerleader in blue and red came up to him and sat upon his lap.
“There. That’s better, girl,” said Proffery.
“I thank you for breakfast, Boyfriend,” said the younger Fabled Girl.
“Every pretty cheerleader like you deserves to have her boyfriend make her breakfast,” he said.
“I love your plain cheese omelets the best,” she said. “You make great plain cheese omelets.”
“And the hash browns?” he asked.
“Great hash browns, Proffery,” said Destiny.
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“And the pancakes?” he asked her.
“Great pancakes, indeed, Proffery,” said his girlfriend.
“And the–” he began.
“–And great juice,” she quickly interjected.
Then he asked, “And how about the company?”
“The company?” she asked, knowing that he was talking about himself. “The company is romantic this morning.”
“Girlfriend, do you remember the first time that we did something like this?” he asked.
“Oh, I do. I surely do,” said Destiny. “It was in our high school gymnasium in a pep rally. The principal spoke in his microphone and had four of our school’s boys to come down to the gym floor and to sit down on four metal folding chairs. There they all sat in front of everybody, the whole school in the bleachers. Those on the chairs were one for each grade from ninth grade to twelfth grade.”
“I was one of them,” said Proffery. “I represented our school’s twelfth grade.”
“Yeah! Lucky me!” said Destiny.
“Then our principal called forth four basketball cheerleaders,” said Proffery, “one cheerleader a ninth-grader; and one, a tenth-grader; and one an eleventh-grader; and one a twelfth-grader.”
“I was the twelfth-grader,” said Destiny. “We four cheerleaders came down the bleachers from all parts of our gymnasium. And you know what happened after that, Boyfriend.”
“The principal had the cheerleaders to sit on the boys’ laps,” said Proffery.
“I went and sat down on your lap, Proffery, in front of all of us kids of our high school,” said Destiny in reminiscence.
“That was my first time,” said Proffery.
“And mine, too,” said Destiny.
“And now here we are again. My beautiful cheerleader, the famous younger Fabled Girl, is
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sitting on my lap here at home again years later,” he said.
“Only now we do not have a thousand eyes looking at us,” she said.
“Two thousand eyes,” he said.
“What’s that, Proffery?” she asked.
“We had one thousand students,” he said. She nodded. “Each student has two eyes,” She nodded again. “That makes two thousand eyes.” She nodded again.
“The Lord has His eyes upon us right now,” said Destiny.
“’The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholding the evil and the good,’ Proverbs 15:3,” recited Proffery Scripture.
“He was there when I got saved long ago. And He was there when you got saved even longer ago,” said the younger Fabled Girl.
In this sweet moment of remembrance, the boyfriend and the girlfriend fell upon reflections in their hearts of their first day of salvation. For them both this happened before they had found their beloved pets, before they had found each other, before she had found her cheerleader uniform, way before this idyllic pep rally that they had just talked about.
How did Destiny Varsity become a born-again Christian? The following narrative summarizes it thus:
She had heard how her twin sister had gotten saved in first grade. She was in that same first grade class with her. But she refused the Gospel then. And she continued on in her lost life, her big sister starting out her life with Christ and growing much in the Lord.
As for her own acceptance of the Gospel, it was prefaced with her discovery of books in her life as a little girl. Her very first book was “Go, Dog! Go!” by P. D. Eastman. She was in second grade then. She liked the caricature of the cat in the hat with the words, “I can read it all by myself,” and the brand name, “Beginner Books” all in the upper left hand corner on the cover of this book. And she
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liked dogs. This at once became her favorite and only book. Very soon after, she went on to read all of the other Beginner Books from this series, all from her school library. Then, of course, she went on to read “The Cat in the Hat.” Little Destiny fell in love with Dr. Seuss books from that. And she at once went on to read all of the rest of the Dr. Seuss books. Already little Destiny was an avid reader.
Then in fourth grade, her favorite literature to read was fairy tales. She bought the book “Grimm’s Fairy Tales.” Then she bought the book “Andersen’s Fairy Tales.” And these became her two new favorite books.
Then she discovered in Green Bay the A.A.U.W. Book Fair at the Y.W.C.A. and she began a collection of school textbooks. She was not looking to read these textbooks, but she was looking to gather them up just to have them for herself. Little Destiny read only fiction. She would not read nonfiction.
Then she found out about the annual book sale in the Brown County Library, again down in Green Bay. And there she found the biggest book of the book sale—a great tome with a black hard cover. She knew what this book had to be even before she read the title. It had to be a Bible. Sure enough, it was the Holy Bible—quite the King James Version Bible. And little Destiny thought to herself when she was going through the checkout lane with this K.J.V. Bible, This book is so big that I can stand on it and finally be taller than my big sister. One-half of one inch separated the heights of the Fabled Girls twins all throughout their lives. She was not thinking to read this Holy Bible, even though she loved to read. Again this would be just a fun Book to keep and to page through noncommittally.
But she did read it, nonetheless. And in this Bible, after the heading, “The New Testament” and before the book of Matthew, were the words, “This is a marked edition of the New Testament.” What
this meant, at first Destiny did not know. But she went ahead to find out. And she found out that this meant that there were footnotes in this special Bible’s New Testament that guided the reader from salvation verse to salvation verse throughout this whole New Testament, telling the reader to go to such
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and such verse, from this page and to that page, and to read the marked verses that were indicated with underlines in the order that the footnotes said to. This feature was unique to this printing. And it would have a great part in young Destiny’s coming to Jesus. The following was the gamut of these special marked Bible verses in their order, all eighteen Scriptures of them:
“I] ’Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh
unto the Father, but by me,’ John 14:6.
II] ‘As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one.’ Romans 3:10.
III] ‘For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus
Christ our Lord.’ Romans 6:23.
IV] ‘Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under
heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.’ Acts 4:12.
V] ‘But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet
sinners, Christ died for us.’ Romans 5:8.
VI] ‘Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin;
and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned.’ Romans 5:12.
VII] ‘That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt
believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt
be saved.’ Romans 10:9.
VIII] ‘For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth
confession is made unto salvation.’ Romans 10:10.
IX] ‘For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.’
Romans 10:13.
X] ‘For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it
is a gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.’ Ephesians 2:8-9.
XI] ‘For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that
whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.’
John 3:16.
XII] ‘Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth
on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into
condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.’ John 5:24.
XIII] ‘And brought them out, and said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved?
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And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved,
and thy house.’ Acts 16:30-31.
XIV] ‘And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his
eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God, be merciful to
me a sinner.’ Luke 18:13.
XV] ‘For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever will
lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. For what is a man advantaged,
if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away? For whosoever
shall be ashamed of me and of my words, of him shall the Son of man be
ashamed, when he shall come in his own glory, and in his Father’s, and of
the holy angels.’ Luke 9:24-26.
XVI] ‘(For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of
salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold,
now is the day of salvation.)’ II Corinthians 6:2.
XVII] ‘But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ,
the Son of God; and that believing ye might have life through his name.’
John 20:31.
XVIII] ‘He that believeth on the Son of God hath the witness in himself: he
that believeth not God hath made him a liar; because he believeth not the
record that God gave of his Son. And this is the record, that God hath given
to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He that hath the Son hath life;
and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life. These things have I written
unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that
ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.’
I John 5:10-13.”
After having finished this journey across the Scriptures recommended by the Bible scholar who marked these verses for his readers, little Destiny was convicted of her sins. The other day, Mom had asked her to take out the garbage, but she went ahead instead to go play kickball with the neighbors. She had not honored her mom in doing this. Also, another day of recent, Destiny was making somersaults in the sand with Gretchen. Gretchen wanted to quit before Destiny wanted to quit.
And Destiny threw a handful of sand at Gretchen. Destiny had not shown love to her big sister when she did this. And even today, when the teacher praised her for getting straight “A’s” in spelling class, she bragged to the whole class, telling them, “I can out-spell any kid in school with one hand tied
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behind my back.” She had fallen into the sin of pride when she did this. Why, she was just like the Devil. Surely any girl who was just like the Devil must have this same Devil as her father. And she grew fearful of the Dragon of Dragons. Unless her life took a big turnaround, little Destiny would someday have to go where he was. It was called Hell. The younger Fabled Girl did not know that the Great Red Dragon was not yet in Hell. She would learn in time that this Great Red Dragon would be there in God’s time and in God’s will, and that then he would never get out. But right now the Dragon of Dragons was loose and wreaking havoc and making Earth a place of suffering. And she prayed her first prayer to God, confessing to Him that she needed a “Saver,” a “Rescuer,” a “Deliverer.”
Then she saw one more direction to go after that last marked verse that she had read. This read at the bottom of the page, “Go to the inside back cover and pray the sample sinners’ prayer to be saved from your sins.” She went to the back cover and found it. It was a little paragraph. And it looked most very good. But a still small voice of Holy Ghost told her that it was most very bad. She read it to herself not in prayer. It said, “Dear God: I am a sinner who cannot save myself. Only You can save me. Your Son, Jesus Christ the Lord, died on the cross to pay for my sins. I ask You now to come into my heart, take away my sins, and save me from Hell. I wait upon You, O God. In Your name I pray. Amen.”
She dared not yet pray this sample prayer with God speaking to her so effectually not to pray this prayer. She was torn between the Devil and the Lord right now, and she did not even know it. It was something about this prayer on the inside back cover. She pondered in great earnest. And she wondered in thoughts, “If the Lord died on the cross for me, what can he do for me right now? A dead God…surely He cannot save me from Hell. If Jesus died, then I have no hope to get to Heaven. All I can do myself, if Christ passed away, is just to wait until I someday pass away, also.”
And with this storm in her life about death and what comes after death, she went to Mom and Dad’s garage, put this great big black Bible into her little red wagon, and wheeled it over to a godly
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neighbor she knew whom she affectionately called “Parson.” He was a Baptist and an outspoken teller of Jesus and a man who always read his Bible outside in the front yard as he sat in the grass, enjoying the weather. She told Parson all and showed him the good King James Bible and let him read the bad sinners’ prayer.
And he nodded his head in understanding. And he said, “Ah, what we have here, Destiny, is another one of those sinners’ prayers without mention of the resurrection in it. I see this kind of thing over and over again, and it makes me angry. The very sinners’ prayer is compromised into uselessness. It is a trick of the Great Red Dragon. It is a crying shame when another teller of Jesus like myself, goes and does something like this to the very prayer for salvation.”
“What can I do, Parson?” asked Destiny Varsity.
“Believe in Easter, Destiny,” he said.
“Easter?” she asked.
“When Christ arose from the dead,” he proclaimed. “We tellers of the Saviour call it ‘the resurrection.’”
“Then this Jesus is alive now?” she asked.
“He is very alive,” said Parson. “Jesus rose from the grave on the third day.”
“I believe that, Parson,” confessed young Destiny.
“The Gospel of salvation says that Christ died for our sins and arose from the dead on the third day,” he said to her. “And this resurrection is the greater part of this saving Gospel’s two parts.”
“I believe that,” she confessed.
“Would you pray with me and get saved from your sins, O Destiny?” asked Parson.
“I will do that right now if I could,” she said. “What do I need to say?”
“I will say it for you. Just say what I say after me. I shall lead you through the prayer one line at a time. Mean it. Trust God. And you will be saved just like me,” said Parson.
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“Jesus, I come,” said little Destiny in ardor.
And Parson led Destiny through the sinners’ prayer with an extra emphasis on the resurrection.
And Destiny meant it and trusted God and got saved just like Parson.
As the younger Fabled Girl was remembering her first day with Christ in this romance of the moment as she sat upon his lap, so, too, was Proffery recollecting his own first day of salvation. How did he become a born-again believer? This was what he was reminiscing about here in his dining room of his Cubed-House in his thoughts:
As a little boy he had fallen in love with the moon. His mom used to tell him, “Proffery, the moon is made of green cheese.” And his dad read to him an Edgar Allen Poe short story about a make-believe hot-air balloon trip to the moon and back. And the family had stored in the spare room old newspapers with the famous headline with huge letters reading, “Man On Moon.” As soon as Proffery had learned to read for himself, he began to read all about this moon. And this young lad learned very much about Earth’s only natural satellite: The moon was 238,840 miles away from the Earth. The moon’s rotation took 27.32 days. Also, the same side of this moon always stayed facing the Earth. Further, the lunar month was 29.53 days long. In addition, the moon’s diameter was 2,160 miles. And the mass of the moon was one-eightieth of the Earth’s mass. And he found out that gravity on the moon’s surface was only one-sixth of the gravity on the Earth’s surface. And he learned that the moon in its orbit traveled through space at a speed of 3,000 feet per second. And, unlike Earth, the moon had no atmosphere. Nor did the moon have any water. And all about those craters that everyone knew that the moon had so many of, they were volcanic craters. And these craters could be as large as sixty or seventy—or even one hundred—miles in diameter. Around the circumferences of these great craters
were rings of mountains from 1,000 feet to 20,000 feet high. In old days of astronomy, scientists referred to “seas” on the moon. These “seas,” of course, were not oceans. Rather, they were large flat plains. In addition to these craters and seas, there were also on the moon piles of volcanic craters, one
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upon another. And the brightest parts of the moon were the rough landscapes. But the duskiest parts of the moon were the smooth landscapes. When he was reading all of these facts about the moon he loved he was also busy reading children’s books like Mother Goose and A Child’s Garden Of Verses. He was a child first reading in his life. But he was not a child prodigy who read well beyond his grade level. But, rather, he was a regular boy who was reading books about the moon well beyond his reading comprehension. But he read about the moon anyway. And he did learn much despite his grade school reading level. And as he read more about this moon and as he looked out upon the moon every night of his days thus, he came to know all about the moon’s phases throughout its lunar month on the calendar. He learned that the “new moon,” was the moon that was all dark and no light. He thought that the new moon was scary to children. Why, that was the moon that “was not there.” He remembered now his first seeing of a lunar eclipse. Mom and Dad had brought him out into the back forty to see something that they said he would love to see. He did not know what it was that they had for him to see. All he knew was that they told him it was about the moon. And he saw it happen right up above him. And as it began, Proffery exclaimed, “Look, Mom, Dad! The full moon is turning into a new moon real fast!” And then as it began to go toward its end, Proffery did say to Mom and Dad, “Now the new moon is turning back into a full moon!” He was not afraid.
And Mom told him, “Son, it is the lunar eclipse.”
And Dad explained to him, “Proffery, what just happened was our Earth passing between the moon and the sun. As our planet passed by between, our Earth was blocking the sun from the moon, thus making the moon dark by our own Earth’s shadow.”
“Neat!” said Proffery, learning a new truth about the moon he loved.
Learning more about the lunar phases later on, Proffery first came to understand what was meant by “the first quarter” and “the last quarter.” He did not understand at first until Mom explained it to him. He said to her, “Why isn’t it called ‘the first half’ and ‘the last half?’ I see half a moon,
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first on one side; then I see half a moon, second on the other side.”
Then Mom explained to him, “Remember, there is still one half of the whole moon that you cannot see in back of it.” And he understood his “half” to be in reality “half of a half” Hence the word “quarter” instead of the word “half.”
And he learned of “gibbous moons.” where more than half, but less than all, of the moon was lit up in the sky.
But his favorite moon phase was always the crescent moon. He admired thin crescent moons and regular crescent moons and wide crescent moons. But his favorites were the regular crescent moons. It was under such a moon as this where he became born again very early in life.
It happened for him that happy day at a family outing at Lake Haven. He and his brothers and sisters and Mom and Dad jumped into the lake and splashed around and had good family fun all afternoon long. And when they got out to dry from their frolic, Dad grilled out hot dogs and hamburgers and bratwursts on the grill, and Mom set the park’s picnic table to prepare for a picnic.
And they sat down to eat. And the very hungry family ate and became very full. Then the kids went ahead and cleaned up.
And day was waning, and night was waxing. The whole rest of the family then sat down upon the sand to watch the sunset. But Proffery saw off to the east a pale crescent moon in the dark blue sky. And he sat down in the sand to watch the moon. The crescent moon was on the other side of the lake.
The setting sun was on this side of the lake. And the admirers of nature’s early evening sky of summer were sitting in such a way that the watchers of the sun had their backs to the watcher of the moon. They had their backs to the lake. He had his back to the rest of the park. He gazed upon the moon in its dim white beauty. Slowly the eastern sky grew darker and the crescent moon grew brighter as twilight came upon Lake Haven. Everything was so quiet. No one was making a sound. All was silent. Then full night came upon Lake Haven and its park. The sky was completely dark. And the
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crescent moon was completely bright in its big sliver.
And little Proffery saw now the reflection of this radiant crescent moon upon the waters. Little waves broke up its image upon the surface of the water. And yet it was more glorious in its reflection upon this lake even more than it was up in its nighttime sky above. He was mesmerized. The crescent moon beckoned him. It was summoning him from the other side of the lake. An Utmost High was calling him to cross the lake. He did not break free from this celestial spell. He listened to this crescent moon. He heeded this crescent moon. And Proffery Coins obeyed this crescent moon.
And little Proffery Coins walked out into the lake to begin his journey to the other side of this lake, where the crescent moon awaited him. When the water got too deep for him to wade, he began to swim. And soon he found himself in the very crescent moon reflection in this Lake Haven. And he then felt himself being borne by a Higher Power across the surface of this lake on toward the other side.
He pondered if this were the magic of the crescent moon. This crescent moon, he truly believed, was carrying him across the lake above the lake’s waters. And he felt that this was Heaven. And he was soon once again at the shallower edge of Lake Haven. And the crescent moon let him fall down once again upon his feet into the nighttime waters. And in a world of crescent moon, he waded the rest of the way to the opposite beach of Lake Haven, himself now on this other side. And he walked ashore upon the sand.
There the crescent moon shone down upon a man reading a book in a lawn chair under this moon’s light. He was most odd, yet most holy. He looked up from his book and asked, “Young lad, did you come from the other side of the lake?”
“I did, sir,” said little Proffery. “The crescent moon brought me here.”
The man said, “One greater than the crescent moon brought you here.”
“Was it you, sir?” asked Proffery of the man bathed in white moonlight.
“One greater than myself brought you here, O Proffery Coins,” said this man.
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“What book are you reading in this night, sir?” asked Proffery.
“The Holy Bible,” said this good personage.
“What’s it say?” asked Proffery.
And this man went ahead to read out loud to Proffery in answer to Proffery’s question: “’And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years: And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so. And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also. And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth, And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good. And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.’ Genesis 1:14-19.”
Proffery Coins now first heard of the creation. And he now first heard of the Creator. And he fully understood what this man was saying to him in reading this Bible passage. And Proffery asked this man, “Did God create crescent moons, sir?”
“God created even crescent moons, young Proffery,” said this man of God.
“I do not know God,” confessed little Proffery.
“You need to get to know your Maker personally,” adjured this man of the Lord.
“How can I know more about my own Maker?” asked Proffery.
“By being born again,” said this man.
“How do I get born again?” asked Proffery.
“By accepting God’s free gift of eternal life,” said this man.
“How do I accept God’s free gift of eternal life, sir?” asked Proffery.
“By praying to the Lord and asking Him for it,” said this man.
“How do I pray to God and ask Him for it?” asked Proffery.
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“The Creator of the moon has brought you here to me to help you to do this,” said this man.
“Would you help me then?” asked little Proffery, convicted of his sin of not knowing his own Creator.
“I will help you,” said this man. “I will lead you through a short prayer, wherein you ask for salvation. Just repeat what I say– be sincere, be humble, be repentant–and you will be saved.”
The crescent moon now glowed brighter. And this godly man led Proffery through this prayer in the moonlight: “Dear Father in Heaven:” he began.
“Dear Father in Heaven,” repeated Proffery.
“I am a sinner,” said this man.
“I am a sinner,” repeated Proffery.
“I am lost in my sins,” said this man.
“I am lost in my sins,” repeated Proffery.
“Your Son came to Earth to save me from my sins,” said this man.
“Your Son came to Earth to save me from my sins,” repeated Proffery.
“He died on Calvary’s cross,” said this man.
“He died on Calvary’s cross,” repeated Proffery.
“He arose from the dead on the third day,” said this man.
“He arose from the dead on the third day,” repeated Proffery.
“This Creator is also the Saviour,” said this man.
“This Creator is also the Saviour,” repeated Proffery.
“O Maker, save me now,” said this man.
“O Maker, save me now,” repeated Proffery.
“In Jesus’s name I pray,” said this man.
“In Jesus’s name I pray,” repeated Proffery.
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“Amen,” said this man.
“Amen,” repeated little Proffery.
Behold, Proffery Rule Coins became a born-again Christian. All was now made well with his soul and his life and his life to come by the Lord Jesus Christ the Saviour of the world.
Then this man said, “My son, follow God’s crescent moon back to your family. They are wondering where you went, and they are worrying for you, and they want you back safe and sound.
“Thank you, sir,” said Proffery.
And with that, little Proffery preceded the divine crescent moon back across Lake Haven and did come back to his family.
As Proffery relived all of this in his thoughts, he said, “Ah. Praise Jesus!”
Then Destiny spoke and said, “You must be remembering your first day with Jesus as I have my first day with Jesus.”
“Yes, girl,” he said most joyously.
“Is your lap getting sore, Boyfriend?” asked his cheerleader girlfriend.
“It is, fair Destiny,” he said. “But your pleats feel good, resting upon me like this,”
“How about if you rest up now and let yourself sit upon my pleats now for a little while?” she asked.
“I’d like that just as much,” said Proffery to the younger Fabled Girl.
“So would I,” said Destiny.
“Your pleats will still feel good with myself sitting upon your lap this time,” he said in flirt.
And the boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ switched places upon the dining room chair.
“There,” said Destiny. “How’s that?”
“Good. Very good,” he said to her. “How is it for you?”
“Good. Very good,” she said to him.
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“He reached down his hand from where he sat upon her lap, and he lifted an edge of her knife pleat of her skirt in between his thumb and his index finger.
“Naughty naughty, Proffery,” teased the basketball cheerleader.
“But not too naughty, Destiny,” he said coquettishly.
“Yes, Boyfriend,” said Destiny Varsity. “That is not too naughty.”
And cheerleader and boyfriend laughed in good sweet romance together.
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CHAPTER XIV
The Fabled Girls and their boyfriends had another double date among their four at home at the girls’ Chez Maison. Gretchen and Flanders were out in the front yard in their romance, and Destiny and Proffery were out in the backyard in their romance. The mansion lay between the two couples.
In the front yard, the football cheerleader was trying to teach her boyfriend how to do a cartwheel as cheerleaders do best. She went ahead and performed a perfect cartwheel before him, and she landed agilely back upon her sneakers. Flanders went ahead to try it for himself with his penny loafers on, and his shoes fell right off of his feet and landed in the grass several feet away. But he still managed to land squarely upon his feet. “Not bad for your first time, Flanders,” said Gretchen.
“I seem to have lost my shoes,” he confessed. And he went and put his shoes back on.
“Street shoes are not good for cheering in,” said Gretchen.
“I’ll try again, but with my shoes off,” he said. And he shook them off of his feet, and he stood barefoot before her.
She said, “I’d lend you my sneakers, but you already had them on when I was not around one
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day, Boyfriend,” teased the elder Fabled Girl about his one day of drag. Both laughed.
And he teased her back, saying, “You best keep your sneakers on, Gretchen. And your socks, too. Your adventurous boyfriend will try a cartwheel again, this time barefoot.”
And he went ahead and tried the cartwheel again before his “teacher of the day.” And he fell awkwardly upon the side of his hip only halfway through the move.
“Ouch,” said Gretchen. “That must have hurt.”
But he got back up and rubbed his hip and said, “It smarts. But not too bad. I’m good to go.”
“You seem a little skittish about lifting up in the air when you’re upside-down, Flanders,” said Gretchen upon seeing his second cartwheel.
“I don’t like the idea of being upside-down above the ground—even if my hands and arms are holding me up,” he said.
“Do you want to see me do one where I do not even touch the ground with my hands?” asked the cheerleader girlfriend.
“You cheerleaders can do the tricks of women gymnasts themselves,” praised her boyfriend-in-Christ. “Do show off to your greatest fan, O Gretchen.”
And the football cheerleader raised her arms above her head to both sides, nodded her head before him in good confidence, and with her legs only did she leap and turn and go upside-down and turn again and go right-side-up and land squarely once again on her feet. All of this she did do sideways, ever facing him.
“As they say in gymnastics, girl, ‘You stuck the landing!’” said Flanders.
“Now you try it,” she said.
“If I did that without hands, this time I’d be liable to fall on my head,” he said. But he was willing to try it for her.
“No. I mean try it the way you’ve been trying it—using your hands and arms.” said Gretchen.
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“You’re not ready for advanced cheer leading yet.”
“Oh good,” he said. And he tried his third cartwheel of today’s fun date. His hands and arms were sure and steady this time. And he did not fall awkwardly upon a part of his body not meant for falling upon this time. But this time, halfway through the maneuver, his self completely upside-down and some few feet above the grass, he choked and froze. And he found himself holding on to the ground straight up and completely stopped and going nowhere further. In essence, Flanders found himself quite standing on his hands, firm and strong. But the cartwheel was stopped thereby in its progress. “What did I do wrong, Gretchen?” he asked, standing on his hands and upside-down.
“I think you did not propel yourself hard enough this time,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.
“It cannot get any worse than this, girl,” he said with a good hearty laugh. Just then his wallet fell out of his back pants pocket and landed upon the grass below his head.
“It just got worse, Flanders,” teased his girlfriend. And the elder Fabled Girl pounced and grabbed his wallet in both hands and at once fled with it in both hands. He managed to go ahead and finish his attempt at the cartwheel, and he ran after her. Cheerleaders run fast. But men after their wallets run faster. And he caught up to her, grabbed her around her waist, and tackled her to the ground. The wallet fell from her grasp, landed upon the loose gravel at the edge of the county trunk road, and bounced off of the little stones, and landed upon the blacktop of the road. Looking both ways to make sure no traveler were coming, boyfriend and girlfriend took to wrestling one another over possession of his wallet in the middle of the county highway. She was giggling. He was guffawing. And in the end, boyfriend overpowered girlfriend, and he got back his wallet and did put it back into his back pants pocket. And in victory did Flanders stand up over his girlfriend-in-Christ, slap his wallet with his palm, and call out to her, “Cheaters never win, O Fabled Girl.” He then reached down his hand and helped her back up to her feet. And, arms around each other’s waists, they skipped merrily back together to the front yard and resumed the lesson on cartwheels.
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Meanwhile, Destiny and Proffery were romancing alone together in the backyard of the women’s mansion. Proffery was trying to teach his girlfriend how to swing a sword. He said, “I hold my sword with my right hand like this.” And with one swing right to left with his straight copper sword, he cut an apple in two that he had set upon a tall stump. “There. Now you try it, Destiny.” he said.
She took his famous Massacre-Blade into her own right hand likewise. But the sword forced her arm down. “It’s heavy,” she said. “Swords are not meant for women dragon-slayers, I think now.”
“Try with two hands, if you want,” he suggested in kindness. He went on to set another apple onto the tall stump. She put both of her women’s hands upon the haft of the famous sword. And she raised it up. “How’s that now?” he asked her.
“It’s not so heavy for me anymore,” she said. “This is better now.”
“Now go ahead and cut the apple in two,” he encouraged her.
And the younger Fabled Girl raised the sword above her head gingerly, brought down the blade straight and true, and cut the apple into two. One piece was but a sliver. The other piece was most of the apple. “Not so good,” she said.
“Oh, but not bad, Destiny,” said Proffery in affection for her. “Not just any cheerleader can do this well with her first time.”
“May I try again?” asked the basketball cheerleader.
“Yes!” he said in fervor. “Go right ahead.” And Proffery went and put another apple onto the tall stump. “Go for it, good Destiny!” he cheered her on.
And the younger Fabled Girl this time more aggressively raised and brought down this great saber upon this apple. This time she missed the apple, but struck the stump. Lo, the edge of this saber stuck a tiny way into the wood for most of the length of its blade. With both hands, Destiny forced it back out of the top of the stump. “I’m sorry, Proffery. That was worse this time,”
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“You missed the apple, but you did better this second time, girl,” he said. “You swung my sword this time like you were not afraid of it anymore.”
“I did. Didn’t I?” she said, growing bolder with this man’s weapon for dragon-slaying.
“Would you like to try a third time?” he asked her.
“This time, good Proffery, your girlfriend will both swing down hard and get the apple both in one try,” said Destiny Varsity.
And that was what she did in her third try with the sword. And the apple was cut right through its core. Both halves fell over onto their backs and settled still right upon the top of this stump.
“Dragon-slayer sword lady!” he praised her this third try in today’s date.
Then Destiny did set the great saber upon the stump on its blade upon its side, and she said, “It’s heavy for a woman even in two hands, Boyfriend. I think that your dragon-slayer girlfriend will stick to her archery.”
“Good job today, Girlfriend,” said Proffery, sheathing his sword once again. And in the spontaneity of the moment on this date, Proffery reached out and touched her pretty straight brown hair down across some bangs of her forehead.
She said, “Does my hair not feel better to your hand than does the sword, Proffery?”
He nodded his head in a “Yes!” And he said to her in romance, “Your hair feels as good as your knife pleats, Destiny.”
“I have beautiful pleats,” said the basketball cheerleader.
“All of you are beautiful, Destiny,” he said.
“And all of you are handsome, Proffery,” she said.
“A cheerleader tells her boyfriend that he is cute,” said Proffery. “Who am I to say she’s wrong?” he said in great admiration for the younger Fabled Girl.
“A pretty cheerleader cannot be wrong when she says that to her man,” said Destiny Varsity.
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Just then the four pets came back home all at once. And they had come with great hurry. And alarm was in their flight. Majesty said, “To arms! To arms!”
And Invincible called forth, “The devil is come, having great wrath!”
And Highness said, “Battle stations!”
And Indomitable said, “The Great Brown Dragon is coming with much fire!”
And the four comrades of the pets all lighted upon the roof of Chez Maison, and they looked down upon their four keepers in the front and back yards close to the house.
Flanders said, “It is happening now.”
Proffery said, “It has come to this.”
Gretchen said, “This is it.”
And Destiny said, “Here it is.”
Flanders asked the four pets, “Does he come from the east or the south or the west or the north?”
And all four said, “He comes from the west!”
And Flanders gave orders, “Everyone come here in the front! Prepare for battle! Don your weapons all!” And he made sure his Slaughter-Blade of brass.
And Proffery said, “Let us be valiant and fight for our God!”
And quickly Gretchen was at Flanders’s side, her artillery with her flaming arrows all ready for battle.
And Majesty and Invincible flew off of the roof and lighted upon the ground out front here and stood at their keepers’ sides.
And Proffery and Destiny quickly came around from out back and got ready here out front. Proffery donned his Massacre-Blade of copper. And Destiny prepared her artillery and her poison arrows of acid.
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And Highness and Indomitable flew off of the roof and lighted upon the ground to be where their keepers were standing here out front.
And Flanders said, “Let us look north and wait upon God.”
And Proffery said, “I see the Great Brown Dragon coming now.”
And the Great Brown Dragon lighted upon the ground before them, but nonetheless, at a distance beyond the range of any bow and arrow. And he spoke from far away, but yet with the volume that made him seem right here among them. He said, “Fabled Girls and the rest of you, I have come for Chez Maison.”
Flanders and Proffery looked at each other. Proffery said to Flanders, “He wants us dead. But first he wants Chez Maison burned to the ground.”
And Flanders turned back to the far away dragon and said, “To get to Chez Maison, you first have to get past us eight. And to get past us eight, you first have to get past God.”
The Great Brown Dragon said, “I heard that my predecessor failed to burn up any of the great house. I will make up for his inadequacies.”
Proffery said to Flanders, “I believe that he is referring to the late Great Green Dragon.”
Flanders said to the Great Brown Dragon, “We soldiers-for-Christ outnumber you eight to one.”
And the Great Brown Dragon said, “Flanders, with that, I still have the advantage over you and your army.”
Proffery said to Flanders, “He wavers now, Brother.”
Flanders said to the brown dragon of evil, “What are you waiting for, O demon of the Devil?”
And the demon spoke and said, “Arrows and swords alike bounce off of my armor.”
Flanders spoke and said, “Do you claim the same for unicorn horns and griffin beaks?”
And the demon answered with a laugh, saying, “Unicorn horns and griffin beaks bounce off of my armor.”
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Proffery said, “He’s stalling, Brother Flanders.”
“Why is he just standing there?” asked Gretchen.
“Why won’t he come?” asked Destiny.
“Come here and fight, O Great Brown Dragon,” said Flanders. “And we will see about that.”
“I wait for you, O Flanders,” said the brown dragon smoothly.
“Let’s get him, Flanders,” said Proffery.
“No, Brother,” said Flanders. “We must not leave Chez Maison to go chase after him way over there. Were we eight to do that, we would leave the mansion wide open for assault. If we went to him, he would easily fly over us and get to the house and set great fires to it before we got back here.”
Proffery said, “What if we men and women went after him in charge and left the flying pets back here to protect the Chez Maison until we get back?”
“Very prudent strategy, Brother,” said Flanders. And Flanders gave these battle orders to his allies. And the Fabled Girls and their sword fighters charged the Great Brown Dragon where he stood.
And the pets stayed behind in front of the house, ready for battle.
And just as the four Christian soldiers got to the fell great dragon, he lifted up into the air above their heads to go after the house and its two coveted closets at both of its ends.
The swordsmen could not reach the demon up above their heads, but the lady archers did get off a shot each at the underside of this demon as he passed by overhead. Gretchen’s flaming arrow barely pierced one of his scales, but it did stick there. And it began to burn that scale with a flame. Destiny’s acidic acid arrow struck another scale on his underside, and bounced off. But the acid on the tip of the arrow sprayed out a mist upon that scale. And the He20 began to eat away at that scale. Great and mighty, the Great Brown Dragon did not feel or notice this.
And the demon zeroed in upon the Chez Maison, himself preparing to shoot fire out of his mouth for starters at the middle of the roof. Behold, two unicorns and two griffins ascended into the air
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right in front of his path and right at where the roof began of Chez Maison here in the front.
And a great collision boomed and echoed across the skies. And Majesty and Invincible and Highness and Indomitable fell back upon the roof. And the Great Brown Dragon fell back upon the ground before the front door of Chez Maison. The dread dragon got the best of it. The pets got the worst of it.
The dragon got back to his feet and stood before the front door and shot fire out of his mouth at the front door. Behold the door of Chez Maison was on fire!
Flanders, seeing this happen and running back up to the battle at the Chez Maison, gave orders, “Good pets, take the burning door away from the house wickee wickee!” Proffery ran with him. Flanders, seeing the Fabled Girls running with their arrows nocked and ready in their charge upon the dragon, said, “Women, keep the dragon occupied while our pets do their work.” Acting in a most apt savvy, the four pets ran into the house from the entrance on the roof to the third floor hallway, and they ran down to the first floor inside the interior of Chez Maison to get to the burning door from within.
And once within their range for their skilled archery, the Fabled Girls stopped their run and began to fire a volley of their enhanced arrows at the Great Brown Dragon. These arrows distracted the dragon from shooting any more fire out of his mouth at the mansion with the closets. And the Fabled Girls thereby forced the dragon to turn around and face them instead of keeping his focus on the pets in their firefighting cause of this moment. And, with the dragon’s back turned toward the pets, the two griffins and the two unicorns quite inside the house here before the door, batted the burning door off of its hinges and beyond the front stoop and out onto the green grass of lawn. Lo, the fire was taken away from Chez Maison. And the lush green grass put out the fire of the door where it lay.
And chinks and plates of armor throughout the dragon’s body were now burning up with fire and corroding with acid from this artillery volley of the Fabled Girls. Even the Great Brown Dragon smarted from this. And this made him angry and aggressive. And it ended up turning against the
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forces of good. Now the sword fighters were upon him. But this time he outsmarted the men. He at once flew over their heads and went right after the women who had wounded him with their enhanced arrows. And the men swung their swords above their heads, but could not reach him. And the Great Brown Dragon, unabated, assaulted the Fabled Girls, now standing alone together against him back a little way from the rest of the action. Flanders commanded, “Invincible, take me there at once!”
And Proffery likewise ordered his Indomitable to take him to the girls as well. And the she-unicorn and the she-griffin lowered their backs, and the masters mounted them, and they charged the great dragon of brown.
Woe! The Great Brown Dragon came upon the girls with all the fierceness of his master the Dragon of Dragons himself. And he grabbed the Fabled Girls, one woman in his left front leg; and the other woman in his right front leg; and he lifted up off of the ground and carried them up into the skies.
Never before had the two men dragon-slayers seen so dire a battle situation as this before in all of their battles against dragons. Surely their girlfriends-in-Christ were about to perish! Strong in the Lord, the Fabled Girls spoke not a word of panic. Majesty and Highness, the women’s pets, were confounded with shock. Invincible and Indomitable, the men’s pets, looked upon their masters in perplexity and helplessness. Flanders looked at Proffery. Proffery’s head was down in prayer. Then Flanders heard God’s still small voice speaking to him. “My Christian warrior, go after him already!”
Of course!
And Flanders commanded Invincible, “Let’s go get him, girl!”
And Proffery commanded Indomitable, “After him!”
And the Spirit of the Lord filled their hearts with Christian warfare. And the men and their pets and their girlfriends’ pets ascended into the air to go and get this dragon and to rescue the damsels in distress. The clever dragon, his eyes still upon the closets, did not fly away from Chez Maison, but rather higher up directly above it. The Dragon of Dragons had sent him here to burn up the documents
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first, and to take out the protectors of the documents later. And the Great Brown Dragon sought to descend a little to get close enough for another shot of fire out of his mouth upon Chez Maison, this time from above.
Behold, the six came up upon him from below. And he could not pause now to shoot fire out of his mouth upon his target of mansion. His whole underside hurt with the wounds of the Fabled Girl’s arrows. And he was surrounded by the six other fighters for God. And he was getting knocked about with hooves and unicorn horns and beaks and eagle claws and lion paws. To his advantage, the swords did not strike the mark upon him with the men being thrown about and turned about left and right, riding their pets in the battle in progress. But both of his dragon sides were being wounded by the two fierce unicorns and the two ferocious griffins. And, though the men were not wounding him, it was their formidable swords that kept him from unleashing his best at warfare. Yet, it was the Fabled Girls that he held up in his front legs that most handicapped his efficacy at battle right now. In short, they were a great hindrance to his battle strategy right now. And he said to the six up here above Chez Maison, “These women are in my way.”
Knowing what the Great Brown Dragon meant by this, Flanders gave battle commands to the women’s pets, “Majesty, descend and rescue! Highness, go down and retrieve!”
Neither he-unicorn nor he-griffin understood Flanders’s reasons, but they obeyed and left the dragon in battle and lighted upon the roof of Chez Maison, which was directly a little way below.
And the Great Brown Dragon then went ahead to let go of the Fabled Girls so as to let them fall to their death upon their own house.
“Now ascend and catch—both of you,” ordered Flanders in the exigency of this moment.
Falling, but not screaming, Gretchen and Destiny quickly fell down toward the roof where their pets were standing, And Majesty and Highness both obeyed Flanders and ascended to catch their mistresses and to save their mistresses’ lives. Majesty flew up and gently caught Gretchen upon his
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equine back. And Highness flew up and grabbed a hold of Destiny’s upper arms in his eagle claws.
The Fabled Girls yet lived. And the fearsome pets lighted back upon the ground in front of the Chez Maison. Their mistresses dismounted, took a step, and fell down in a daze upon their bottoms.
Meanwhile, the Great Brown Dragon, having lost scales of armor on both sides from the attacks of the four pets, began to get the upper hand now with two of the pets tending now to their faint mistresses on the ground below. The dragon now had his forelegs free from his grip of the two women he had held. And with one backward slap of his right foreleg, he smote Flanders up here, riding Invincible, against his right shoulder. And with one forward slap of his left foreleg, he struck Proffery up here, riding Indomitable, against his right elbow. Shooting pain burst upon Flanders’s upper shoulder, and it spread at once down his arm, past his elbow, past his wrist, unto the fingers of his hand. He almost dropped great and terrible Slaughter-Blade. But he grabbed his sword wrist with his left hand and squeezed in torments and did not drop his sword. But now the sword was held limply by the great Sword Fighter of the Occident. As for Proffery, the Sword Fighter of the North, his own right arm felt great debilitating pain start in his elbow and spread both up to his shoulder and down to the ends of his fingers. And the sword fell out of his hand! But he deftly snatched it back out of the air with his good left hand, as he sat on the back of his hovering Indomitable. What an effectual strategy for the cause for evil had the Great Brown Dragon just carried out. In one moment, in two blows, he had completely disabled the sword hands of the world’s two foremost sword fighters. Flanders now put his sword into his good left hand of his good left arm. He swung it about to feel it in this hand, and he was ready for more battle. Likewise, Proffery held his Massacre-Blade in his left hand of his left arm, and he became strong and sure to resume this battle.
Proffery said to Flanders. “Let’s fight on for our God, Brother.”
“To the battle for our Lord, Brother,” said Flanders right back to him.
Meanwhile, the Fabled Girls where they sat, stirred, shook the stun out of their heads, and
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looked up. They saw the battle taking place above their mansion. But their ribs had been sprained from that vise-grip from the dragon. And they could not now stand up. Nor could they now resume the battle in the skies. But they could still shoot their artillery up at the Great Brown Dragon from here in the front lawn. And the Fabled Girls recommenced their battle as they sat side-by-side.
And the elder Fabled Girl said to Majesty, “Go up and fight the Great Brown Dragon now.”
And the younger Fabled Girl said to Highness, “We women will be all right now.”
The two lady archers thanked their pets for their watch care over them, and the two pets flew back up to rejoin the battle.
Flanders called out to Majesty, “How is Gretchen?”
Majesty said, “My mistress is ready for more.”
“And how is my Destiny, Highness?” asked Proffery.
“It takes more than a great fall to take the fight out of my mistress, good Proffery,” said Highness.
“Welcome back, both of you,” said Flanders in rally.
“Our girlfriends are all right, Flanders,” said Proffery.
Meanwhile, from the green lawn, the lady archers struggled where they sat. Gretchen fumbled with setting fire to her arrow and almost burned her hands. Her ribs never felt like this before. Great was the strength of the Great Brown Dragon. And Destiny could not effectively get the acidic acid upon the tip of her arrow without dropping lots upon the grass. Where the He20 fell upon the lawn
the grass turned black instantly and divots came upon the lawn all around her from the acid. Broken ribs or sprained ribs, she could not tell. But her wounds in battle took away her effectiveness at this time. And the Fabled Girls had to quit now from battle. And the Fabled Girls set down their artillery about them, rose up to their knees, bowed their heads, and prayed to God out loud in a prayer meeting that reached up to Heaven, where God sits on His throne.
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Meanwhile, Flanders massed the six troops of God in a most tactical position. Flanders, riding Invincible, was on the right side of the dragon. Proffery, riding Indomitable, was on the left side of the dragon. Majesty was in front of the dragon. Highness was behind the dragon. And battle was taking place in the sky. Majesty was poking his unicorn horn and slamming his unicorn hoof upon the dragons’ snout. And Highness was pecking his griffin beak and scratching with his griffin talons and swiping with his griffin paws the tail of the dragon, This constant picking and poking and pricking kept the Great Brown Dragon confused and indecisive. And in this moment of doubt upon the dragon, Flanders and Proffery with their swords, both sabers regarded as the world’s most powerful weapons, began to hack at the back of this dragon from both sides, all the way up and down across his great and long span. And these swordsmen were using their left hands in doing this. And many chunks of armor were breaking off of the dragon’s back and falling down to the house below and all throughout the front yard and the back yard and both side yards around the house. These wounds upon the back of the Great Brown Dragon wrought by the men were worse than the wounds upon the sides of the dragon wrought by the pets and were worse than the wounds upon the underside of the dragon wrought by the women. The Great Brown Dragon was now failing in battle.
And he began to descend upon the Chez Maison too quickly for the good of the mansion.
“He’s falling,” said Proffery.
“Right toward the house!” said Flanders.
“He’s going too fast,” said Indomitable.
“He’ll crush it right down, closets and all,” said Invincible.
“He’ll ruin our mistresses’ ancient Bibles that way,” said Highness.
“We will have failed our mission from God,” said Majesty.
Flanders said, “Take heart. The manuscripts can only be destroyed by dragon fire and not by dragon fall.”
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And Proffery said, “Look out, girls. He’s coming down.”
And the Fabled Girls covered their eyes. They heard no crash. They uncovered their eyes.
There was the Great Brown Dragon, sitting up there on the roof of the Chez Maison, his wings unfurled and spread out wide. The dragon had rallied and used his yet whole and unharmed wings to lessen his fall upon the mansion. And now he lay there upon his belly, upon the flat roof on this west side of the third floor middle hallway. He rested his snout upon his front legs. He was ready now for defeat. But he still said not a word. He seemed almost noble now as he prepared for his death. In fact he seemed humble now.
Flanders declared, “Great Brown Dragon, you have fallen in battle this day.”
Proffery said to Flanders, “Let us not tarry in slaying him, Brother.” And Flanders nodded in agreement.
Just then the Great Brown Dragon spoke and said, “I would like one last word to say to you Fabled Girls.”
“Not one more word from you, Great Brown Dragon,” said Flanders.
“Let him speak, boyfriend,” said Gretchen.
“Let him say his last words, Flanders,” said Destiny.
Proffery said, “Flanders, do give the orders to attack!”
Just then black smoke, thick and stifling and choking the atmosphere, came out of the dragon’s closed mouth and open nostrils. And Flanders acted in utmost urgency. But instead of saying to his troops, “Attack!” Flanders said, “Unicorns and griffins all, close his mouth and keep it closed and pray to God!”
Right then the Great Brown Dragon began to open his mouth to shoot his deadly fire down upon the Fabled Girls out front here.
But Majesty and Invincible and Highness and Indomitable swooped down upon his dragon
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head and obeyed Flanders’s battle commands. Majesty stood on the front right side of the dragon’s jaws. Invincible stood on the back right side of the dragon’s jaws. Highness stood on the front left side of the dragon’s jaws. Indomitable stood on the back left side of the dragon’s jaws. And they leaned down and clamped upon the jaws of the dragon with their limbs from where they stood. And with all of their might, the four famous pets held down the top of the jaw of the dragon tightly upon the bottom jaw of the dragon. And the pets prayed to the God of mercy. And the dragon could not open his jaws right now. And the fire could not come out of his mouth. But the fire had to go somewhere. And where it would go it would burn whatever it came upon to cinders. And the fire had no where to go but down into the rest of the dragon himself. And the fire did not come out, but, rather, returned into the dragon. And the Great Brown Dragon was consumed from within by his very own fire. The pets were singed, but not burned. And the dragon became an inferno upon the roof of the Chez Maison.
Calm and resting in the Lord, Flanders said to his four pet soldiers, “Now roll him off of the roof. We eight have two closets to protect. And God will have the victory this day over this Great Brown Dragon.”
And the four pet allies worked together and rolled the blazing dead dragon off of the roof of Chez Maison and down to the ground below. The Chez Maison was safe and sound. The dread Great Brown Dragon was never to trouble them again. And the Fabled Girls had just had the closest call of any this day in this battle.
And the eight gathered around the bonfire of the carcass there in the front yard and praised and thanked the Good Lord Jesus.
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CHAPTER XV
Where did the Dragon of Dragons live? He lived on an island in the Gulf of Mexico in a land of all manner of gale force winds. Where did the Good Lord Jesus live? He lived in Heaven beyond the farthest star in a land of peace and love and joy. The rest of this chapter will go on to describe the home of Satan and the home of God in a study of contrasts as different from each other as evil and good.
First shall be described the home of that Great Red Dragon: He lived in a tower, tall like the ancient tower of Babel in its towering heights. It was made of solid red bricks, bricks as red as he himself. And he made sure to spill the blood of the saints upon his red brick walls from all of his years of war against Christ and the Christians. And the graves of the Christian martyrs filled his island from one end to the other end. And he lived in the top of his Tower. The rest of his Tower was for the rest of his dragons. This was the house of all of the Dragon of Dragon’s dragons. Here in this Tower lived dragons of all of the colors of the spectrum. All dragons were solid-colored. None were striped or spotted or speckled or brindled. None were white. Most were dark. All were evil. His island in the
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Gulf of Mexico was so evil and wicked and sinister that cartographers everywhere refused to put it on their maps and atlases. It was called “Dread Isle Doom.” And sailors and seamen avoided this island in their voyages here in the gulf. Even the United States Navy steered clear from this island with their great and powerful warships. And the United States Coast Guard took care not to get too close to this island in their protection of America’s coast, as well. Modern-day pirates feared this island and dared not to land and to pillage from this isle. And those who sold illegal drugs evaded this island in their international business. And no guilty fugitive from the law, nor any innocent fugitive fleeing tyranny, ever thought of escaping to this island. This Dread Isle Doom was known for its killer winds. Yet, though the winds terrified any person who might come here, the Great Red Dragon indeed, further, petrified all who might stand before him all the more. None dared to stand before the Dragon of Dragons other than his very own fellow dragons. How bad were the winds? Like no other place on earth. Dread Isle Doom was filled up coast to coast with storms of great winds wrought by the Great Red Dragon, its chief inhabitant. There were tornadoes and hurricanes and straight line winds going on all the time upon every acre of this island of many square miles. There were EF0 tornadoes and EF1 tornadoes and EF2 tornadoes and EF3 tornadoes and EF4 tornadoes and EF5 tornadoes. And there were category 1 hurricanes and category 2 hurricanes and category 3 hurricanes and category 4 hurricanes and category 5 hurricanes. And there were downburst straight line winds and microburst straight line winds and derecho straight line winds. And the Tower of the Dragon of Dragons was built to withstand any wind made by its architect. And how bad was the Great Red Dragon? His bite was worse than his wind. And his fire was worse than his bite. And his demonic and diabolical and devilish heart was worse than his fire. He was the most powerful fallen angel of all of the angelic hierarchy. And every last one of the fallen angels answered to him. He was even more powerful than Michael and Gabriel, the two good angels mentioned in the Bible of the angelic hierarchy. And none could contend against him, but God Almighty Himself.
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The Tower of the Great Red Dragon in its redness within and upon its redness without, rose high above the plains of Dread Isle Doom like a mountain. When God had cast this redoubtable dragon out of Heaven after his fall, he fell down upon Earth right on this very island. And he went to work to take away the mountains from this island that God had made for it in the week of creation long before. And the dragon did this for the glory of his Tower that he was going to make. With the mountains all excavated by the Dragon of Dragons, his Tower looked taller and greater and more intimidating, now standing upon this island’s vast flat plain. Indeed this Tower was taller than even Mount Everest of the Himalayan mountain range way far away in Nepal on the border of Tibet. Mount Everest, the world’s tallest mountain, was 29,032 feet high. The dragon’s Tower that he built was taller than that. Also, this Tower’s height exceeded the depth of the Marianas Trench in the western Pacific Ocean. Between Guam and the Philippines in the southern end of the Marianas Trench was the Challenger Reef, the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean. This greatest depth in the world measured 35,876 feet. The Devil’s Tower was higher than the Challenger Reef was deep.
What did the interior of this Tower look like? It had a thousand floors to it. And each floor was just a little smaller than the floor immediately below it. It was not built in a pyramid shape, but rather in a tetrahedral shape. That is, instead of having a square base with four triangular walls meeting at the top, this Tower had a triangular base with three triangular walls meeting at the top. The top room, the one-thousandth story, was where the Great Red Dragon sought his rest from his many days’ work of evil. The bottom room, the first story, was where he dispatched his dragons to go and do his bidding in his war against God and Goodness. And all of his floors between were full of dragon dens. And the dragons who lived with him, like him, enjoyed leaving the Tower and walking around in the wind of Dread Isle Doom as a man or woman would like walking outside in a nice fall breeze in Wisconsin. Dragons loved great wind. It invigorated them and gave them great refreshment. And they enjoyed this island’s straight line winds much; this island’s hurricanes, more; and this island’s tornadoes,
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most.
What did a dragon den look like in this Tower of Dread Isle Doom? It had no windows. Dragons did not like the sun or the daylight shining into their homes. Light was too much like Jesus, the Light of the World. And the sun gave too ample evidence of the Creator, which dragons sought to take away from the schools and the churches and the families. Dragons loved the night. As it is written in John 3:20, “For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.” The only light that the dragons used for their dens in this tower were fireplaces, each positioned in the center of their rooms. Each den for each dragon was a suite of three large rooms—a sleeping room and a treasure room and a leisure room–each room with one fireplace. The sleeping room had one bed made of a pile of bound hay bales. The treasure room had a pot of riches. Dragons loved treasures. Some dragons had a pot of gold; some, a pot of silver; some, a pot of bronze. There was one pot for each dragon. And the leisure room was for eating and drinking and meeting and chatting. As for the Great Dragons, the Great Red Dragon’s three captains—two dead and one still living—their dragon dens were suites of five rooms, each with a fireplace. These Great Dragon Dens were all together in the second-from-top floor. Their bedroom floor was piled with loose feathers upon which to lie down for the night and go to sleep, all in the corner of the room. Their treasure room had a pot of a variety of rare and precious coins and also a pot of precious gemstones to its side. And their leisure room was for feasts of corpses and carcasses and all manner of bitter drinks. And they had also a meeting room in which they met together with the Dragon of Dragons to discuss their war against Jesus. And they had also a glory room wherein were citations and awards and trophies of their exploits for the Dragon of Dragons for the cause of evil, all given to them by this chief dragon. And the top floor of this great Tower that scraped the sky, as already noted, was for the Great Red Dragon. His dragon den was a suite of seven rooms, each with a fireplace. His bedroom had a floor piled high with milkweed silk upon which to lie down and sleep. His treasure room had a pot of rare metals and a
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pot of rare jewels and a pot of platinum bricks. His leisure room had a dining hall and a kitchen that could feed all of his dragons of his tower. Here he did celebrate his many victories over men-kind and women-kind and children-kind with his demons in the midst of a feast and a toast to the cause for evil. Here he gave speeches and rallies to his multitude of dragons. And here he wined and dined his minions on to wicked deeds done upon mankind. And he had a meeting room where he rebuked and disciplined individual dragons of his whose performance was not to his expectations. And his glory room was a shrine wherein were the names of all of his dragons, commemorated with brass plates on the walls of this room. Every dragon’s name was honored personally thus with his own cubicle here in the Dragon of Dragon’s glory room—to the ultimate glory of the Dragon of Dragons himself in his own pride. And there was also the den. In this den was a library full of books about magic. The books were hardcover and paperback and wire bound and stapled and bound in ring binders and bound in report covers. Here were books all about witchcraft and wizardry and black magic and sorcery and necromancy and all other manner of the occult and satanism. These were all true tales of the dark arts from the hand of the dragons who lived here in this tower with their master. The dragons loved to help out wayward and unsuspecting searchers of spiritism and spiritualism, because it made them look good.
And also in this dragon den of the Dragon of Dragons was the omnipresent room with its fourteen mirrors. To look upon any part of the Earth, all that the Dragon of Dragons had to do was to look upon his fourteen mirrors and that region of the world came upon the mirror and showed him what was there.
These fourteen mirrors were watching the oceans and the lands. Thereby there were seven mirrors for the seven seas and seven mirrors for the seven continents. This omnipresent room indeed made the Great Red Dragon himself apparently omnipresent. Between these magic mirrors and his own corrupted wisdom and his thousands of other dragons, the Great Red Dragon seemed to be just about everywhere in all the affairs of men and women and children. Only the Lord Himself was truly utterly all-present in verity. The Devil could not see where God was with his mirrors, but God always saw
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where the Devil and his dragons were.
Now where did Jesus the Lord live and what was this like? He lived in Heaven. And Up Here He ruled upon His throne over Heaven and Earth. This Demesne was God’s Paradise of peace and joy and love. And in this Heaven were the resurrected saints and the good angels. What did His throne look like? It is described in Exodus 24:10 thus: “And they saw the God of Israel: and there was under his feet as it were a paved work of a sapphire stone, and as it were the body of heaven in his clearness.”
A sapphire stone was a blue stone. His throne is also described thus in Revelation 4:3: “And he that sat was to look upon like a jasper and a sardine stone: and there was a rainbow round about the throne, in sight like unto an emerald.” A jasper stone was a quartz stone of various colors. A sardine stone was a blood red or a flesh-colored stone. And an emerald was a green stone. Revelation 4:4-11 goes on to tell much more about Jesus’s throne in Heaven where He lived: “And round about the throne were four and twenty seats: and upon the seats I saw four and twenty elders sitting, clothed in white raiment; and they had on their heads crowns of gold. And out of the throne proceeded lightnings and thunderings and voices: and there were seven lamps of fire burning before the throne, which are the seven Spirits of God. And before the throne there was a sea of glass like unto crystal; and in the midst of the throne, and round about the throne, were four beasts full of eyes before and behind. And the first beast was like a lion, and the second beast like a calf, and the third beast had a face as a man, and the fourth beast was like a flying eagle. And the four beasts had each of them six wings about him; and they were full of eyes within: and they rest not day and night, saying, Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come. And when those beasts give glory and honour and thanks to him that sat on the throne, who liveth for ever and ever, the four and twenty elders fall down before him that sat on the throne, and worship him that liveth for ever and ever, and cast their crowns before the throne, saying,
Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.”
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What were the angels like who lived and served God in Heaven? Psalm 103:20-22 answers this question with the following words: “Bless the Lord, ye his angels, that excel in strength, that do his commandments, hearkening unto the voice of his word. Bless the Lord, all ye his hosts; ye ministers of his, that do his pleasure. Bless the Lord, all his works in all places of his dominion: bless the Lord, O my soul.”
And what were the born-again believers like who lived with God in Heaven? John 3:21 answers this with these words: “But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.”
Those people who died in their sins never ended up Here in the life to come. The unredeemed fearful and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and whoremongers and sorcerers and idolaters and liars were not allowed to come into Heaven. Only the redeemed sinners could come Here in the life to come. Christ was the Redeemer. And His redemption had only to be asked for by all who lived on Earth. Most on Earth never asked Christ to redeem them. Those are the lost who go to Hell.
And the bad things about life on Earth never came into the Glory of Heaven. These things were tears and death and sorrow and crying and pain. Here in Heaven, where Jesus lived, these former things of life on Earth passed away for eternity.
There is also the promise to the saints and angels of Heaven of that which is called, “new Jerusalem,” the holy city of Heaven, to someday come down from God out of Heaven as a bride adorned for her husband. This city of promise is also called, “holy Jerusalem.” It will be a city with a wall, great and high, and with a foundation of twelve levels. This Heavenly city will be over 1,300 miles long and over 1,300 miles wide and over 1,300 miles high, forming a divine cube. As for the wall, this will measure 216 feet high, and it will be made of jasper, which is quartz, and it will have twelve gates—three to the east and three to the north and three to the south and three to the west. Each gate will be a huge pearl. Also, each gate will have an angel in front of it. And each of the twelve
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gates will have the name of one of the twelve tribes of the children of Israel upon it. The three gates to the east will have the names “Judah” and “Issachar” and “Zebulun.” The three gates to the north will have the names “Dan” and “Asher” and “Naphtali.” The three gates to the south will have the names “Reuben” and “Simeon” and “Gad.” And the three gates to the west will have the names “Ephraim” and “Manasseh” and “Benjamin.” As for the foundations of these walls, there shall be twelve of them, each made of precious gemstones, one kind of gemstone for each foundation. The first foundation will be made of jasper, which is quartz of various colors with a high polish. The second foundation will be
sapphire, which is noted for beauty and hardness and luster; sapphire is blue. The third foundation will be chalcedony, which is a translucent quartz of various colors and a waxy luster. The fourth foundation will be emerald, which has a pure green color. The fifth foundation will be sardonyx, a stone combining the qualities of sardius and onyx (hence its name). [A sardius is a blood red or a flesh-colored stone, and an onyx consists of different colored bands or layers]. The sixth foundation will be sardius, again a blood-red or flesh-colored stone with a polish. The seventh foundation will be chrysolite, “golden stone,” a yellow topaz or a beryl. The eighth foundation will be beryl, which is green like an emerald. The ninth foundation will be topaz, a soft stone of a greenish tinge. The tenth foundation will be chrysoprasus, a gem with a greenish color. The eleventh foundation will be jacinth, which is a yellowish-red or a dark purple gem. The twelfth foundation will be amethyst, which is a transparent quartz of a violet-blue near to a purple. And the streets of the city will be made of pure gold, like unto transparent glass. And new Jerusalem will have no sun of the day; nor moon of the night. The Lord Jesus Himself with be the light of the days of new Jerusalem. And there shall be no nights in new Jerusalem.
And there shall be a flowing river in this Heaven. It is a river of water of life. And it shall flow out of Christ’s throne. And the tree of life will be there, bearing twelve different fruits for twelve months, and producing leaves for the healing of the nations. And the curse of sin upon creation will
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be no more. And man will look upon the face of God. This is what the Bible says about Heaven, much from Revelation 21 and Revelation 22.
The Dragon of Dragons stood now before the Heavenly Father up in Heaven. And the only begotten Son stood before His Father now also in Heaven. God said to the Great Red Dragon, “From where have you come, O Dragon of mischief?”
And the dragon said to God, “From going to and fro in the Earth and from walking up and down in it.”
God then said to the Dragon of Dragons, “Wherefore have you come, O Lucifer?”
And the evil angel said, “I have come to accuse the brethren.”
“You are rightly called ‘the accuser,’ O dragon of evil incarnate,” said God. Then he turned to the Lord Jesus, and He said to Him, “My Son, I know why You have come.”
And Jesus said to His Father, “I have come to advocate for the brethren, My heirs of You and My fellow-heirs with Myself.”
“My Son, You are rightly called ‘the Advocate,’” said the Father in Heaven.
Right away the Great Red Dragon spoke and said, “Did you see what Destiny Varsity did, Lord?
Why, she went shopping at a thrift store and bought a false Bible, one that I had written. And not only that but she went ahead to read it. And not only did she read it, but she believed it. It was my own New Revised Standard Version Bible. Did you see that, O God?”
“I saw it, wily dragon of wickedness,” said Jesus Christ before His Father on the throne. “My faithful daughter fell into sin from that. But she has since repented and thrown out that N.R.S.V. And she has come back to reading and studying and believing My King James Bible. And My errant daughter has come back home to Me,” said Jesus Christ to the dragon before His Father.
“Oh, though she has repented and gotten right with You, O Maker, she still did that sin. Shouldn’t she be punished for having done that bad thing?” said the prideful dragon.
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And Jesus spoke and said, “Father, My shed blood covers her sins.”
And God the Father said to God the Son, “Well said, My Son. In You I am well-pleased.”
And the dragon had no more to accuse Destiny of before God.
But then the dragon pursued Gretchen as a scapegoat in his debate against Christ. He said, “But what about Gretchen Varsity? What about what she went and did? She did the same kind of thing. And she did that with the New International Version Bible. That’s my own best-seller among Christendom. She fell for my tricks hook, line, and sinker. And did you happen to notice what she did to go get this false Bible? Why, she went to one of my own churches!”
Jesus spoke next to His Heavenly Father and before the vexing dragon, “She knows that she did wrong, O Father. She had read the watered down N.I.V., did not believe it in its lack of Holy Spirit inspiration, and went and did something foolish. But she never came back to studying from that false version since. And she never went back to that non-denominational church. She did throw out this wily Devil’s Bible. And she said to You that she’s sorry for having sinned as she did. She will never stumble in her walk with You with that sin again.”
“All sin must be accounted for,” said the troublesome dragon. “You said in Your Word that sin must reap its harvest. Do something to her, God.”
And Jesus said to His Father before the dragon, “I have paid for her sins on the cross of Calvary. My shed blood is propitiation for all of her sins in Your holy eyes, My Father.”
And God the Father said to the Son of God, “In Your offering of Your body on Calvary’s cross My wrath upon sin has been appeased and My favor for Gretchen is thereby conciliated.”
And the accuser had no more to accuse Gretchen Varsity of before God Almighty. But the Devil is an insatiable force of evil. And he turned his accusations now to Flanders. And he said now to God the Father, “Oh, Maker, what Flanders went and did. The Bible calls it ‘abomination.’ And no abominable person goes to Heaven. That’s what You say in the King James Scriptures. I tell you—it’s
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Revelation 21:27. Thus saith the Lord! What Christian man would even think about dressing up as a girl cheerleader?”
And Jesus said, “Though My son went prodigal, and he did backslide a little way, Father, he still fights dragons as the mighty man of God.”
“Oh, but God, Your Bible says, ‘No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier,’” declared the Great Red Dragon.
And Jesus said to God as Advocate of Flanders Nickels, “Father, it is also written in Proverbs 24:16, ‘For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again.’”
“Nay! One fall. One act of drag. Truly the sin unto death in my eyes,” said the Dragon of Dragons.
“Nay, O Father. Is it not written in Ezra 9:13, ‘…, seeing that thou our God hast punished us less than our iniquities deserve,…?’” gave Jesus rebuttal on the behalf of Flanders Nickels.
And the Devil said, “’For the wages of sin is death;…’ Thus saith the Lord in Romans 6:23.”
And Jesus said, “’…but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.’ Thus saith the Lord in the rest of that same Romans 6:23.” Then He said, “I have sinned My sinless blood for him.”
And the Dragon of Dragons ceased his many accusations against Flanders Nickels. Lastly, he went on to accuse Proffery, seeking him for his scapegoat. And he said to God the Father, “Like best friend like best friend. Wouldn’t you know it. But Proffery goes and does the same thing. The man went and put on his own girlfriend’s cheerleader outfit. And he was glad that he did that. Why, the man is effeminate!”
“Like Flanders, Father, Proffery was truly sorry to You for what he did. He knows that he hurt You and Your cause. And he seeks Your help to change,” said Jesus.
“The Bible says that effeminate men shall not inherit the kingdom of God,” said the Devil
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in accusation. “That is I Corinthians 6:9-10.”
“Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God,” recited Jesus from this same Scripture. “That is how that passage does start out. It is those not born again who are the unrighteous. And it is the unrighteous who will not inherit the kingdom of God. But as for Proffery he is born again. That makes him ‘the righteous.’ And all who are righteous do inherit the kingdom of God.”
“Does God allow cross dressers into His Heaven?” accused the Dragon of Dragons point-blank.
And Jesus said, “It is written, ‘And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.’ I Corinthians 6:11.”
“There is no drag Up Here in Your Heaven, God,” declared the Great Red Dragon truth.
And Jesus said, “Here is neither the sin of drag nor any other sin.” This was also eternal truth.
“Proffery does not belong Up Here with You in his time to come,” said the relentless dragon. “He made himself a girly-man when he should be a manly man.”
And Jesus said, “What do you think went and washed and sanctified and justified My prodigal son Proffery Coins?”
“I know already,” said the Dragon of Dragons in defeat.
“Speak now before Me and My Father and My Spirit and tell me, O Satan,” demanded Christ.
“It is Your blood shed for all mankind for all dispensations and for all eternity,” confessed the Great Red Dragon.
“Very well confessed, O Great Red Dragon,” said the Saviour of the world.
The defeated and nefarious dragon snorted a huff through his nostrils and he said no more. He was wrong, and Jesus was right. And he lost once again as the accuser of the brethren debating against the Advocate of the Christians.
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Upset, the Great Red Dragon left God’s throne and came back home to his Tower of his Dread Isle Doom on Earth. He had already lost his Great Green Dragon in battle to his foe’s army of eight.
And he had already lost his Great Brown Dragon in battle also against the Fabled Girls and their group of God. But he still had his Great Black Dragon, his own angel nearly as powerful as Archangel Michael. And at once he summoned his greatest demon to his own meeting room in his own Dragon of Dragon’s den in the top story. This Great Red Dragon’s meeting room was meant for discipline and chastising. The Great Black Dragon’s meeting room was meant for formulating strategy and tactics in war. This latter was not the designated meeting place between these two this time.
And his chief captain was not happy about this. He at once said to his master, “I have a meeting room of my own.”
“I know that,” said the Great Red Dragon in curtness.
“Why am I here?” asked the Great Black Dragon. “Have I ever failed in any of my jobs for you?”
“All of my other generals of my three have failed me,” said the Dragon of Dragons.
“Do you punish a dragon before he fails in battle, Master?” asked the Great Black Dragon.
“I have just come from that miserable Place of God,” said the master of the dragons. “And I am not happy.” The holiness of Heaven wears upon the body of a dragon so filled with utmost unholiness.
“I don’t know what it is like Up There,” said this second-in-command of dragons.
“Such righteousness eats away at me for my unrighteousness,” said the Great Red Dragon. “And being There makes me not well.”
“You are the only dragon who can go There for now,” said the Great Black Dragon.
“I have no reason to go There other than to accuse the Christians of the world,” said the Great Red Dragon. “I cannot stand before God and accuse the Christians who are already in Heaven There. They are in a state of permanent sanctification now. And I cannot accuse the good angels who serve
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Him There. They can all say to me, ‘God has not cast me out of Heaven.’ I can not even accuse the lost on Earth. Even they are created in the image of God. Nor can I accuse the fallen angels like myself, who are with me here in my Tower. They can all say to me, ‘You are going to the same Devil’s Hell as we are someday.’ So, that leaves for me only the born-again Christians that I can accuse. But they, of all creation, are the least guilty of sin and make God the most pleased. The Saviour did not die for angels—both those who did not rebel and those of us who did rebel. It is the born-again believers who make my job the most difficult job. I have lost their eternal souls to Jesus, and I can never win those eternal souls back. And their worship and good deeds and love are like pricks in my sides, because they glorify my Enemy so. What makes God happy makes me unhappy.”
“Master, I understand,” said the Great Black Dragon. “I have never stood before the Father and debated with the Son, as you have.”
“And the Holy Spirit, too,” said the Dragon of Dragons. “He fills all of the saints in Heaven and Earth.”
“Father, Son, and Holy Ghost,” said the Great Black Dragon. “The triune Godhead.”
“Each part of this trinity is more powerful and wiser than all of myself,” said the Dragon of Dragons.
“I bow to you, Master, in subjection and reconciliation,” said the Great Black Dragon. And the number two dragon bowed before the number one dragon in apology for his prior rebuke.
And the Dragon of Dragons said, “At ease, good Great Black Dragon.”
And a cordial accord was now in this room. The Great Red Dragon went on to say, “This is the first time with me and my dragons where I meet with a dragon in this meeting room of my dragon den, and I do not chasten one of my own. A boss cannot yell at his best employee. In like, nor can I yell at you, my friend.”
“I submit to your attention, Master,” said the Great Black Dragon.
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In deference to his most loyal and faithful and dependable dragon of all of his dragon hierarchy, the Dragon of Dragons said to him. “Sorry for having called you here. Shall we meet in your meeting room?”
“That would follow most respectful custom here at home in your Tower,” said the Great Black Dragon.
And they went down to the dragon den of the Great Black Dragon, met in his own meeting room as such tradition called for here in Dread Isle Doom, and they discussed plans to burn down the house and the original Bibles of the Fabled Girls. This time the job was up to the Great Black Dragon to do. And he told the Great Red Dragon, “I will succeed, Master, where all others have failed.”
His dragon’s heart overflowed with the pride of life. So, too, did the Dragon of Dragon’s heart.
And, at once returning to his devilish ways, the Dragon of Dragons said harshly to the Great Black Dragon, “Don’t make your master have to say, ‘If you want the job to get done, you have to do it yourself.’”
“I will get the job done,” said the Great Black Dragon. “I vow it so.”
“Then make it good,” said the Great Red Dragon.
“I shall,” said the most redoubtable of the Devil’s demons. And at once he flew off on a flight to the Chez Maison far away.
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CHAPTER XVI
The camaraderie of eight of God were on their way to Sunday Evening Worship at Fellowship Baptist Church. And this time the eight agreed to all walk together, the keepers not riding the pets—either on the ground or in the air. It was a nice Autumn evening here in the north country of Wisconsin.
The fall colors were abundant in all of the deciduous trees. And the eight tramped upon fallen leaves, the sound of dry crunching from under their feet coming to their ears as they did this.
The elder Fabled Girl said, “I remember a real funny Peanuts cartoon that I read in a paperback book one day. Lucy was saying how leaves fly south for the winter. She said that on a map, south is downward. And leaves fall downward in the autumn. And winter comes after autumn. Thus, leaves fly south for the winter.”
The younger Fabled Girl said, “I remember another funny cartoon in a Peanuts paperback book.
Lucy was trying to say that knotty pine is the wood that they make knotty pine recreation rooms from.”
“I read Peanuts cartoons, too,” said Flanders. “One time Linus, I think, thought to get a box of cereal called ‘Snickersnacks,’ which included a free marble inside. Well, instead, Linus got a box
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of marbles with just one piece of snickersnack cereal.”
“I’ve got one, too, about Peanuts cartoons,” spoke up Proffery. “One time Sally had to guess the certain count of something. And she gave three guesses: ‘Twiddly-two? Eleventy-twelve? Fifty quillion?’ Then she asked, ‘Well, am I getting closer?’ And Charlie Brown had to say in resignation, ‘Actually, it’s kind of hard to tell.’”
Invincible spoke up and said, “My favorite Peanuts character is ‘Pigpen.’”
Majesty said, “I like Linus. That’s a name in the Bible.”
Highness said, “I like Snoopy. He’s a dog. In fact a Beagle.”
And Indomitable said, “I like Spike. He’s Snoopy’s brother. He is taller, wears a hat, and has whiskers. And he’s from Needles, Arizona.”
Flanders said, “I like Charlie Brown. I remember a football player who played for the Washington Redskins who had that same name.”
Proffery said, “I like Peppermint Patty. She’s kind of cute for a girl.”
Destiny said, “I like ‘Seven.’ He was a rare character in that comic strip whose parents named him that in their rebellion against a society of numbers.”
And Gretchen said, “I like Marcy. She looks cute in glasses.”
“Do you guys remember those two famous Peanuts cartoons on TV?” asked Majesty.
“We do,” said Highness. “’A Peanuts Christmas’ and ‘It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.’”
Flanders said, “In ‘A Peanuts Christmas,’ I liked how Linus recited the Christmas story of Luke chapter two.”
“About the birth of Jesus in the manger and the angels and the shepherds,” said Invincible.
“And in ‘The Great Pumpkin,’ how the Great Pumpkin arose from his pumpkin patch on Halloween and gave gifts to all of the little children,” said Indomitable.
“Do you guys remember how all of the adults spoke in those two TV episode classics?” asked
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Proffery.
“Blah blah blah blah blah,” said Destiny.
“A kind of speaking with no words—real or made up,” said Gretchen.
“That Charles Schulz–he has quite the original ideas in his cartoons,” said Majesty.
“He has been at it for many years,” said Proffery.
“His classic idea, of course, was every time that Lucy convinced Charlie Brown to kick the football that she held down on the tee, only to snatch it away at the last second, and have Charlie Brown to fall on his back,” said Flanders.
“Charlie Brown was also a baseball pitcher. But his pitcher’s mound was an elevated pile of earth,” said Invincible.
Indomitable asked, “Do they really have pitchers’ mounds elevated like that in real baseball?”
“I don’t think so,” said Majesty.
“Another great idea of Charles Schulz,” said Highness.
“Do you Fabled Girls know whom mine and Proffery’s early crush was before we liked girls for real?” asked Flanders.
“I never got around to telling Destiny,” said Proffery. “But I told you, Brother Flanders.”
“And I never told Gretchen, either. But I did tell you, Proffery,” said Flanders.
The Fabled Girls looked at each other. They smiled. And they both said, “Who else could it be but ‘the little red-haired girl?’ She who was Charlie Brown’s secret crush.”
“You Fabled Girls know us too well,” said Proffery.
“And we did not even have to tell you,” said Flanders.
“We Fabled Girls know our famous boyfriends better than they think that we do,” said Gretchen.
“We Fabled Girls know only each other better than we do our special boyfriends,” said Destiny.
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Then they were at church. And the sermon that night by Pastor Fellow was all about the ten commandments of Exodus 20. Pastor preached thus, “Tonight I shall speak of ten keynote dragons out there fighting mankind’s keeping of the ten commandments, by way of lies and deceptions and temptations and unbelief and willful disobedience. The Dragon of Dragons has one designated dragon for each of God’s designated commandment among the ten commandments. These ten dragons are designated ‘the grey dragons.’ And their job is to take away the ten commandments from the world. They are the main reason why the ten commandments are taken out of America’s schools and courthouses and families and homes.”
Pastor thus began to preach the ten commandments: “The first commandment is found in Exodus 20:3. Therein it is written, ‘Thou shalt have no other gods before me.’ God is a jealous God when his creation man has things in his life more important to him than God Himself. When I was a young man new in the ministry, I was the only believer in my parent’s family of six. Dad and Mom and Big Sister and Big Brother and Little Brother were lost, and I was saved. And I prayed for their salvation alone with God every night. And I witnessed to each of them every time I could. And I had to end up leaving their souls in God’s hands. And by God’s mercy, in time they all turned to God and became born-again believers like myself. But before then, in their lost state, in my saved state I saw their rejection of Christ clearly summarized to my heart in this verse that I share with you now. I saw their rejection of the Gospel due to their false gods that were more important to them than Jesus was. All five of them had other gods before the true God. Dad had his motorcycle. Mom had her jewelry. Big Sister had her manfriend. Big Brother had the game Scrabble. Little Brother had gambling. Jesus meant nothing to any of them. But their gods did not die for their sins as my God did for my sins and their sins. Mom herself even told me at the time that I was addicted to God. I don’t know about you; but I myself think that God is a Great One to be addicted to. Amen?”
“Amen!” said the good Baptist flock.
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Pastor continued, “Well, to the glory of God and my own joy in the Lord, I came to see the day when my family all accepted Christ together at the Thanksgiving table of Mom and Dad’s. They asked me to pray and thank God for the food, and before I knew it, I was leading them all through the sinners’ prayer. They all got saved. They all were glad that they got saved. And now they all worship the Saviour and are on their way to Heaven. But it was the ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the First Commandment,’ that had convinced them to say, ‘No,’ to Christ all their years before. And before they could say, ‘Yes,’ to the true God and ‘No.’ to their false gods, they had to say ‘No,’ to the ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the First Commandment.’ And, through Christ, the Dragon of Dragons had lost five souls to God. What a happy Thanksgiving meal we all had that special day long ago for me.”
Pastor then went on to preach, “The second commandment is found in Exodus 20:4-6 which says the following: ‘Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.’ In Old Testament days Jew and Gentile alike would fall down and worship statues made by the hands of men. These were either graven images of wood or molten images of metal. And mankind in those days came to believe in them as gods. ‘The Grey Dragon Who Fights the Second Commandment’ was there on Earth at that time, and he fooled multitudes of religious people of long ago. Pharaoh bowed down to such images. His people of Egypt bowed down to such images. Even Solomon ended up bowing down to such images. And God’s nation Israel also went on to bow down to such images. All false idolaters everywhere who did not bow down to the God of Heaven were bowing down to the gods of mankind.
Again, who made these gods? Workmen. Note and hear Isaiah 44:12-17 as I read it to you.” And Pastor Fellow read this most telltale passage about this second commandment to his good flock: “The
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smith with the tongs both worketh in the coals, and fashioneth it with hammers, and worketh it with
the strength of his arms; yea, he is hungry, and his strength faileth: he drinketh no water, and is faint.
The carpenter stretcheth out his rule; he marketh it out with a line; he fitteth it with planes, and he marketh it out with the compass, and maketh it after the figure of a man, according to the beauty of a man; that it may remain in the house. He heweth him down cedars, and taketh the cypress and the oak, which he strengtheneth for himself among the trees of the forest; he planteth an ash, and the rain doth nourish it. Then shall it be for a man to burn: for he will take thereof, and warm himself; yea, he kindleth it, and baketh bread; yea, he maketh a god, and worshippeth it; he maketh it a graven image, and falleth down thereto. He burneth part thereof in the fire; with part thereof he eateth flesh; he roasteth roast, and is satisfied: yea, he warmeth himself, and saith, Aha, I am warm, I have seen the fire: And the residue thereof he maketh a god, even his graven image: he falleth down unto it, and worshippeth it, and prayeth unto it, and saith, Deliver me; for thou art my god.” Then Pastor said, “This sin indeed the ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Second Commandment’ delights in nowadays and especially bygone days.”
Then Pastor Fellow went on to preach, “And then comes the third commandment, Exodus 20:7. Let us recite this verse out loud together.” And the pastor and his flock said this verse out loud by memory: “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.”
Pastor went on to say, “Before I went into the ministry and before I got saved, I fancied myself to be a writer. And I used bad words in my stories from time to time, and I did not know any better. And the Lord’s name in vain was one of my favorites to go to in my dialogue in my stories. And in my wicked thinking I sincerely felt that God’s name in vain like that did add a dramatic sense to my story.
The ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Third Commandment’ had me right where he wanted me. Now I know that the Lord’s name in vain is not the most mild swear word, but rather the most severe swear
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word. And any and all euphemisms for the curse word of God in vain are also to be never a part of our speech. I will not name them. You know them from hearing the lost speak. Do not say them. I quit my writing after I got saved, went into the ministry, and now no longer break the third commandment. In Matthew 12:36, Jesus said, ‘But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.’ Every swear word, every euphemism, every time a lost sinner uses the name of the Lord sacrilegiously, he will be judged for at the Great White Throne and then cast down to Hell. Our God is holy, and His names are holy. Honor the Lord and His names. Do not fall into the temptations of the ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Third Commandment.’”
Pastor Fellow then went on to preach, “Next comes the fourth commandment and the ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Fourth Commandment.’” Pastor then said, “Let us turn to Exodus 20:8-11 and read it out loud in responsive reading.”
Pastor began, “Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.”
The flock then read the next verse out loud, “Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:”
Pastor then continued on with the next verse, “But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates:”
And the flock went on to finish with the fourth verse of this Scripture passage, “For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.”
Pastor Fellow went on to preach, “This fourth commandment was meant only for the Jews. In studying Scripture, a Bible reader needs to understand whether a command is for a Jew or for a Gentile or for a Christian. Exodus chapter 31 clearly says that it was the nation Israel specifically who were called to honor the sabbath. They were called upon to rest on the Sabbath, which was the seventh day of the week. The Sabbath was on a Saturday.”
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Pastor then went on to preach, “We Christians of the Church Age are called upon to rest on the Lord’s Day, which is the first day of the week. The Lord’s Day is Sunday,”
Then Pastor said to his flock, “In New Testament Israel, the ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Fourth Commandment’ induced God’s chosen nation to make keeping the Sabbath a legalistic law among the false sects of Israel in Jesus’s days. Whenever Christ was to perform a miracle of healing and that day was the Sabbath, the religious leaders of Israel accused Him of ‘breaking the sabbath.’ Healing was a work, and there was no work to be done on the Sabbath. Jesus had to tell the false religionists, ‘I am the God of the Sabbath.’ The ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Fourth Commandment’ fought against it in the Old Testament for the cause of evil and fought for it in the New Testament for the cause of evil. He is a most wily Grey Dragon.”
Then Pastor preached upon the fifth commandment. He began, preaching, “These first four commandments are about our relationship with God. And the last six commandments are about our relationships with other people. The first of these commandments about our relationships with others is the fifth commandment, wherein God commands, ‘Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.’ Exodus 20:12.” Pastor then went on to say, “Mom tells you kids out there in the flock to clean up your room. The ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Fifth Commandment,’ tells you kids not to clean up your room. Your room stays a mess. That is a sin. You just broke the fifth commandment. You disobeyed your parents.” Pastor then went on to say, “Grown-ups whose moms and dads are still alive out there, Mom and Dad want to spend more time with you. But the ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Fifth Commandment’ makes you say instead, ‘I can’t make it today. I’ve got work to do around the house. I have to stay late at work. I promised my friends I’d go to their cabin. I have to catch up on my sleep. I need some time to myself this weekend.’ You just listened to the Grey Dragon, and you said just exactly what the Grey Dragon wanted you to say to your parents, and you broke the fifth commandment. You failed to honor your mom and dad
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with your life with them not in it. Never, I say, ‘Never!’ come to the point in your life where Mom and Dad have been overlooked and forgotten and passed by because you have let them slip away. The ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Fifth Commandment can use ungratefulness or unforgiveness or negligence to tempt boys and girls and men and women to stop honoring their parents. The breaker of this commandment is promised a shortened life. You have only one real mother. You have only one real father. They gave you life. Honor them all the days of your life. They will not be around forever. Someday they both may be gone. When Jesus’s mother Mary stood before Him as he was dying on the cross, He delegated His Apostle John as the caretaker of His mom for the rest of her life. Jesus honored this fifth commandment. And the Grey Dragon suffered a major blow to the cause of dragons. And John the Apostle took great care of Mary from then on.”
Pastor Fellow then went on to say, “And the sixth commandment says, ‘Thou shalt not kill.’
That is found in Exodus 20:13.” He went on to preach, “The ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Sixth Commandment’ is a killer, just like his master the Devil, who was a murderer from the beginning.
The only time the Lord condones killing is in self-defense and in battles and in accidents. In Ecclesiastes chapter three Solomon, the wisest man on earth, wrote that there is ‘a time to kill, and time to heal.’ Otherwise the Scriptures abound in calling for the death penalty for all who kill in malice and in premeditation and in the passion of the moment. In Genesis 9:6 it is written, ‘Whoso sheddeth man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man.’ And in Leviticus 24:17,
it is written, ‘And he that killeth any man shall surely be put to death.’ You might say that capital punishment will not keep a man from murdering someone. But I say to you, ‘It will keep him from murdering another person.’ Many killers who get out of jail go out and kill again. Look at mankind’s first two children—the older brother Cain and the little brother Abel. These were two young men, the third and the fourth human beings of mankind’s origins. Adam and Eve were their father and mother.
Cain became jealous over Abel. And Cain rose up and slew his brother. The world’s first murder was
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fratricide. Instead of getting right with God and reconciling with Abel, Cain had instead listened to the ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Sixth Commandment,’ and he slew innocent Abel. God called down to Cain after the deed was done, and He asked him, ‘Where is Abel thy brother?’ Cain said back to God, ‘I know not: Am I my brother’s keeper?’ And God said to Cain, ‘What hast thou done? The voice of thy brother’s blood crieth unto me from the ground.’ And God punished Earth’s first killer with a life of wandering as a fugitive and a vagabond in the land of Nod.”
The pastor then preached upon the unsettling seventh commandment. He went on to preach, “You know the seventh commandment.”
And the flock said in unison with their Bible knowledge, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”
“Exodus 20:14,” said Pastor Fellow. He went on to say, “The ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Seventh Commandment thinks like a satyr and tempts men and women to act like satyrs.” He then went on to preach, “This seventh commandment is a commandment against all manner of sexual sins—not just adultery, but also fornication, and incest and rape and any sexual activity that leads up to it.
I heard about a movie called ‘Risky Business’ of some years ago that starred Tom Cruise and Rebecca De Mornay. In it was what I heard to be a scene of a call girl and her client committing fornication on a choo choo train. If such a scene as that really were in the movie, the ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Seventh Commandment’ must surely be laughing all the way back to his master Satan with another of his victories for his cause of adultery and fornication. Watching something like that must surely make a movie viewer wish to go out and try the same thing for himself or herself. The eye gate is one of this particular Grey Dragon’s most useful means of tempting people. As in the case of David and Bath-Sheba in the Bible, when he saw this young woman bathing herself on the rooftop, he could not have helped that first look. But he could have helped that second look. And King David committed adultery with another man’s wife. And his own family life was in disruption ever since because of his sin. In Jeremiah 5:8, God’s Word says, ‘They were as fed horses in the morning: every one neighed after
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his neighbour’s wife.’ In bygone days, one man’s wife would cheat on her husband, and one woman’s husband would cheat on his wife. But in these days, one man and one woman will move in together before marriage to see if it will work out when and if they decide to get married later. In a Reader’s Digest joke back in more traditional moral days of America, one woman was talking to another woman about maybe moving in together as friends and roommates. But the one woman said that she already had a roommate. When the other woman asked why that would be a problem, the one woman said, ‘He’s extremely jealous.’ Back in those days, the punch line most likely got a most fond little laugh. But in these days, a live-in situation like this is common. Thus an example of the slide down of America’s morality. The ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Seventh Commandment’ is ruining our country.”
Then Pastor Fellow went on to preach, “The eighth commandment. What does it say? It says this, ‘Thou shalt not steal.’ That is found in Exodus 20:15.” Pastor went on to say, “When I was in college in my days before Christ, I ate at the college cafeteria. I finished my dinner. I had a banana left on my tray. And I was full. I did not want to eat it then. I wanted it for later. Above all, I did not want that banana go to waste and get thrown out. I did not like wasting food. So, in the sincerity of my mind, I took the banana out of the cafeteria so it did not get thrown out, and I ate it later in my dorm room. And though I did not know it I had just stolen a banana. Another time in my lost life, Shopko had a money back guarantee for anything that a customer wanted to return for cash. Well, I had bought a forty-five record there, and when I played it, I decided that I did not like the song very much after all.
And I, again in my lost and sincere thinking, returned the record to the department store, and I got my money back for it. The ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Eighth Commandment’ fooled me in my unsaved thinking. I did not know it at the time, but now I know that I had, in essence, stolen from Shopko in returning that record. One time with my family, we ate out at the Chinese buffet in town. I was already full, so I did not want to eat. But I was thirsty, and I did want to drink. So I sat down with my family
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in a booth. They paid for their own food and drink, and they ate and drank. I paid only for my drink, and I drank an iced tea, myself not going to the serving tables of food. One of the dinner party offered me a piece of food from their plate. Let me tell you, I was already a born-again Christian by then. And with the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, I knew that if I took that free sample of food from that family member that I would be stealing from the restaurant. I at once refused the offer, and I turned down the proffered food, and I did not eat a thing there at the buffet. Who am I to steal like that? Not I! They could not understand; they were lost. I understood; I am saved. The ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Eighth Commandment’ did not have the victory over me that day. Nor does he get victory over me anymore now that I am a child of God.”
Pastor Fellow then went on to preach, “Then comes the ninth commandment. This is found in Exodus 20:16, which reads thus, ‘Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.’ I think that this can also be said to say, ‘Thou shalt not lie.’ I believe that this commandment can be broken much if one is a gossip in the neighborhood. The ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Ninth Commandment’ loves it when talebearers go and tell neighbors false things about other neighbors. One who bears false witness against his neighbor might say something like, ‘Did you hear what he did?’ or ‘Did you hear what he said?’ or ‘Did you hear what he thinks?’ And none of what he says about this neighbor is true.
Or if some of it may be true, most of it will end up being false. Good men and good women are often the most common such victims. And good reputations are ruined by false accusers. There is much evil in much talking. A wise man will refrain his lips from talking and thus defy the ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Ninth Commandment.’ In Proverbs 16:28 wise Solomon says about this commandment, ‘…: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.’ In Proverbs 25:23, wise Solomon writes, ‘The north wind driveth away rain: so doth an angry countenance a backbiting tongue.’ This is how a righteous man can shut down an unrighteous man when he starts backbiting and making false accusations and doing what the Grey Dragon wants him to do.”
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Then Pastor went on to finish tonight’s Sunday Evening Worship message, “Last, of course, is the tenth commandment. Turn with me if you would to Exodus 20:17, and let us read this together out loud.” And the flock of Fellowship Baptist Church read this Scripture out loud: “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.” Pastor went on to preach on this tenth commandment: “Some years after I came into the ministry, I found out how the ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Tenth Commandment’ does his work. And it truly reeks with materialism and pride and competition. What I found out is how men and women always want something that is better than what his or her neighbor has. One neighbor will see the nice horse his neighbor has in his stable, and he will want two nice horses in his stable. One neighbor will see the nice house that his neighbor has in his yard, and he will want a bigger house in his yard. One neighbor will see his neighbor’s fifty acres of land, and he will want one hundred acres of land. One neighbor will see that his neighbor has a pretty wife, and he will want that pretty wife for his own. One neighbor will see the affluence of livestock that his neighbor has, a wealth of animals greater than that which he possesses, and he will grow jealous over that richer neighbor. The ‘Grey Dragon Who Fights the Tenth Commandment’ starts out by tempting a man to lust after what another man has; then he tempts that man to think upon what to do about that lust; then he may even tempt that man to steal with that lust.”
Pastor then went on to say, “Though dragons tempt men to do evil, they do not make men to do evil. None who fall into sin can say, ‘The Devil made me do it.’ Demons can only put their evil thoughts into the minds of sinners. It is the wicked sinners’ hearts that make them heed the dragons of the world. There are three types of people on Earth whom the ‘Ten Grey Dragons Who Fight the Ten Commandments’ seek to tempt into sin thereby. The first group—the natural man–are all of the lost. They are the easy prey for the Grey Dragons to make fall into sin. The second group—the carnal Christians—are the Christians who are not living for the Lord. These are the believers who can only
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‘drink the milk of the Word.’ They sometimes make it easy for the Grey Dragons to do their work, and they sometimes make it hard for the Grey Dragons to do their work. And the third group are the spiritual Christians. These are the born-again believers who are living for the Lord; these indeed ‘eat the meat of the Word.’ These are the ones who always make it hard for the Grey Dragons when they have to come back and face the Dragon of Dragons after failing to make that Christian to stumble in his walk with Christ. Dear member of my flock, which one are you of the three? Your walk with the Lord in how you deal with the ten commandments will answer that. And not only the ten commandments, but also all of the other commandments throughout all of the whole Scripture cover to cover. Do you live the Holy Bible? This will will show whether you are a natural man or a carnal Christian or a spiritual Christian.”
Then with this, Pastor closed tonight’s Sunday Evening Worship, and he dismissed his flock with a word of prayer, and the service was done.
On their way home, all on foot, the eight soldiers of the cross enjoyed more great fellowship as the most famous members of Christendom. Invincible said, “I’ve been thinking about that saying that we dragon-slayers like to say.”
“What is it?” asked Flanders.
“As impossible as a white dragon,” replied Invincible.
“Indeed there is no such thing in the Dragon of Dragon’s hierarchy as a white dragon,” said Indomitable.
“A white dragon sounds almost good,” said Gretchen.
“I wonder if Puff the Magic Dragon were a white dragon,” said Flanders wistfully.
“Puff the Magic Dragon is not real, either,” said Destiny.
“Oh, but I love the song,” said Majesty. “It has a sad ending to it, though.”
“Peter, Paul, and Mary,” said Highness. “They sing that song.”
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“I wonder what Honah Lee looks like,” said Indomitable.
“The land where Puff lives,” said Invincible in reflection.
“I once made an allegory out of that song. It broke my heart over my lost mom,” said Flanders.
“Brother, you sang this song and prayed for your Mom’s lost soul?” asked Proffery.
“Yeah. I did, Proffery,” said Flanders. “I never told anybody else but God, Who heard my prayers.”
Gretchen asked, “Was it sad song for you to sing about your mom, Flanders?”
“Yes. Mom was lost and going to Hell in those most early days for me as a believer,” said Flanders.
“What were your words like when you sang this ‘Puff the Magic Dragon’ Master?’”asked Invincible.
“This Puff in my allegorical song was a mighty soul-winner for God. This Magic Dragon was a living testimony of all manner of integrity and utter void of hypocrisy. Everybody knew Puff, and every believed Puff. Because he was so much like God, every truth that he spoke about God everybody believed. In short, what he said, he did; what he taught, he lived; what he thought, was good. He lived in the land of Honah Lee. And Honah Lee was a lesser paradise right next to the greater Paradise of Heaven. Puff’s land was like an antechamber to God’s Land. Everybody who came to Honah Lee heard Puff witness to them about Jesus the Saviour. And everybody who heard him knew that he told the truth, and they got saved when he was done telling them about Christ. They became born-again believers and went then right to Heaven to be with the Saviour for forever after. And they all lived happily ever after for eternity.”
Proffery said, “There was hope in that allegory in your song for your mom, Brother,”
Gretchen said, “That is the most personal thing you ever told me, Flanders.”
“I had shed a few tears in those days for my mom when I sang this alone to God,” said Flanders.
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“What a salvation song you made out of that folk song for yourself, Master,” said Invincible.
“For me this was ‘Mom’s Song,’” said Flanders in succinct summary.
“Brother Flanders,” said Proffery, ‘this ‘Mom’s Song’ has since come true for you.”
Gretchen said, “Your mom has been saved for as long as I’ve known her.”
“Mom got saved before you and I first met, Gretchen. And Mom got saved before you and I first met, Proffery, And Mom got saved before you and I first met, Invincible,” said Flanders. “She was the first soul whom I had ever led to the Lord.”
“She’s alive and well and living for the Lord,” said Proffery.
“I was Mom’s magic dragon Puff, and Mom’s front porch swing was Honah Lee,” summed up
Flanders.
“The Dragon of Dragons lost a good woman to the Lord of Lords,” said Proffery.
“And reality is even sweeter than allegory, Brother,” said Flanders.
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CHAPTER XVII
Gretchen was alone in her bedroom with Majesty. She was sitting up in bed, her back against the headboard, cushioned by her pillow. Majesty was upon his stomach on the hardwood floor beside the bed, his neck against the side of the bed, and his horn being petted by his mistress. It was six o’clock in the morning. And this elder Fabled Girl was trembling in her knees where she sat under the covers. She continued talking to her he-unicorn, saying, “And it was the scariest dream I ever had.”
“Mistress, a dream about your closet burning up in fire is surely a dread dream,” said Majesty.
“I stopped caring for my cheerleader uniform, and I started caring for my Old Testament origins,” said Gretchen.
“Your call from God, O Mistress,” said Majesty.
“My call from God is to protect my Old Testament that God gave me to keep. My own dear cheerleader uniform does not count compared to that,” said the elder Fabled Girl twin.
“Be of good courage, Mistress,” said the he-unicorn pet. “God does not use dreams as prophecy here in these days long after the canon of Scripture has been completed.”
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“It seemed so real. I could even sense the heat of the fire and the smell of the smoke,” said his mistress.
“Do you think that it could still happen, though?” asked Majesty.
“I am afraid like never before,” said Gretchen Varsity.
“Mistress,…” asked Majesty.
“Yes, Majesty?” asked the elder Fabled Girl.
“…in your dream this morning, did you actually see that original Old Testament on fire for real?” asked the unicorn pet.
“I saw the fire. I did. But I did not actually see the fire itself upon the Old Testament itself. I did not,” confessed Gretchen.
“That is cause for hope in a God of Divine Providence, O Mistress,” said Majesty.
“I remember where I was standing. I was here in this bedroom, and I was standing by that wall over there—the one on the opposite side of my room from the closet. And it was nighttime, and it was dark. I had no lights on in my room at that time. The only light was the big fire in the closet. And the smoke made that light dim in my room. I remember praying to God, ‘Let the Dragon of Dragons take me. Don’t let him take my Old Testament.’ Then I woke up,” said the elder Fabled Girl.
“Such happiness that would bring upon the Dragon of Dragons if that were to come true, my mistress,” said Majesty.
“God will not let such happiness fall upon him,” said Gretchen.
“If the Devil’s Great Black Dragon comes after your manuscripts and parchments, all us eight together may not prevail against him,” said the he-unicorn.
“But there is a Ninth among our eight, O good Majesty,” sang out his mistress.
“The Lord Jesus Christ, Mistress,” declared Majesty.
And the elder Fabled Girl stopped trembling underneath her covers where she sat in bed.
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At this same time, Highness the he-griffin was awake and sitting upon the bedroom floor of his mistress Destiny, where she lay asleep in bed. He could could hear her calling out in a dream in her sleep right now. She was saying quietly, “God have mercy.” His mistress was having a nightmare. And Highness sought to wake her up out of her nightmare. He got up and walked to her bed and put his eagle leg gently upon her shoulder where she lay, and he called forth in gentleness, “Fear not, Mistress.” And she woke up.
And the younger Fabled Girl spoke and said, “I am so glad it is you, O Highness.”
“You were having a bad dream,” said her pet griffin.
“Yes. I was,” said Destiny. “But now it is all gone from me.”
“You cannot remember?” asked Highness.
“I forgot what I was dreaming,” said Destiny. “Funny how dreams can be that way.”
“I heard you talking in your sleep just now,” said her he-griffin.
“What was I saying?” asked his mistress.
“If I tell you, you might come to remember your bad dream,” said Highness.
“I need to remember that dream anyway, I forgot how it went, but I still am afraid. Do tell me what I said in my sleep, my Highness,” said Destiny.
“You said, ‘God have mercy,’” said Highness.
“My scrolls were on fire in the closet,” said Destiny, remembering all. And she jumped out of bed, ran to the closet, and opened the closet door.
“Mistress, they were on fire only in your dream,” said Highness.
“Amen. All of that was only a dream in the morning,” said his mistress.
“Are you still afraid, now that you remember all in that dream?” asked Highness.
“I am okay. You are okay. My original New Testament is okay,” said Destiny.
“But are you still afraid, my mistress?” asked Highness.
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“Reality of wakefulness is less frightening than fantasy of nightmare,” said Destiny.
“But you still fear reality,” said her he-griffin.
“The future is more fearsome than is the present,” confessed the younger Fabled Girl.
“Mistress, we serve a God Who knows past, present, and future consummately,” said Highness in encouragement.
“Our God Who knows all also sees all,” said Destiny Varsity.
“Our God Who sees all also commands all,” said Highness.
“Omniscience, omnipresence, omnipotence,” agreed the griffin mistress. “No dragon can defeat our Lord God Almighty with His three great attributes such as these.”
“Are you afraid now, O mistress?” asked her Highness.
“I fear no longer. Christ Jesus is on our side,” said the younger Fabled Girl.
Highness proffered his eagle claw, and his mistress leaned over and gave it a sweet kiss in affection.
Then the Fabled Girls in their bedrooms got dressed once again for the day in their cheerleader uniforms and their archery accouterments. And they together went outside for the day and walked around their large countryside yard in a time of good fellowship with their pets.
Just then Highness called forth in alarm, saying, “I see a unicorn and a rider and a griffin and a rider in the skies coming here toward Chez Maison. And they are flying faster than any wind.”
And right after that, Majesty blasted forth a warning siren on his unicorn horn, and he began to stamp his fore hooves upon the ground.
Gretchen said, “It is the men and their pets!”
And Destiny said, “They bring dire news.”
Majesty spoke and said, “Is it our time now to face the Great Black Dragon himself?”
Highness said, “If that be so, then the gates of Hell have been opened.”
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“What should we do?” asked Majesty. “Shall we prepare for battle down here in front of Chez Maison?”
“Should we ascend into the air and prepare for battle in the skies?” asked Highness.
Gretchen said, “If it be battle we women must let our men direct us eight troops.”
And Destiny said, “Our men will be as the voice of God for us Fabled Girls.”
Behold, Flanders riding his she-unicorn and Proffery riding his she-griffin now lighting upon the ground where the four awaited them. The two men dragon-slayers were equipped with their formidable swords at their hips. And their pets were restless for coming battle.
Gretchen asked, “It is the Great Black Dragon?”
Flanders said, “It is, fair Gretchen.”
“Is he coming for Chez Maison?” asked Destiny.
“That he is, my Destiny,” said Proffery.
“What are your battle commands?” asked the women of the men.
And Flanders said, “The Great Black Dragon seeks your two closets. We must ascend to the roof and protect those closets right where we can be the closest to them.”
And Proffery said, “The battle needs to take place on the roof of Chez Maison. Some of us will have to be along the north part of the roof. Some of us will have to be along the south part of the roof.”
Flanders said, “Let us go up at once to the top of Chez Maison. And God will tell me where to mass our troops.”
And the four pets carried themselves and their keepers up to the flat roof above the second story of Chez Maison and lighted. And Proffery asked, “Flanders, do you think that we should have our troops massed here upon this second story roof, some of us on the one side of the hallway and some of on the other side of the hallway?”
And Flanders said, “No. I think not. Let us instead ascend to the flat roof above the third story
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of Chez Maison. We must fight from the roofs of the third story bedrooms north and south.”
And the pets and the keepers ascended to the peak of Chez Maison and lighted upon its flat roof. The riders dismounted.
And a behemoth of the land and of the sky appeared off into the horizon a thousand feet above the ground.
“Flanders, is that he?” asked Gretchen.
“It is,” said Flanders.
“The Great Black Dragon?” asked Destiny.
“The Great Black Dragon,” said Proffery.
“He flies higher and faster than do we winged unicorns,” said Majesty.
“And he is a dozen of us griffins in size,” said Highness.
“There is none bigger and wiser in warfare in the Dragon of Dragon’s army than this one coming after us now,” said Indomitable.
“He must be ten of us unicorns in mass,” said Invincible. “Maybe more.”
And Flanders gave battle commands, “Gretchen, Majesty, Indomitable, follow me across this roof to the north edge of the north bedroom. We shall stand upon Gretchen’s bedroom roof and protect her closet extending out from the house. Destiny, Highness, Invincible, and Proffery, make haste upon the roof to the southern edge of the south bedroom. You shall stand upon Destiny’s bedroom roof and protect her closet that extends likewise from Chez Maison. Let us go to war for our Jesus!” And the soldiers rallied and went to their places. And the Great Black Dragon was upon them.
And the first thing that the fell and dire dragon did was to light upon the high roof right in the middle. And when he lighted the whole Chez Maison shook upon its foundations. But the roof did not cave in to the hallway. And the Great Black Dragon spoke and said, “I have come. My fire is with me.
And I can see two bedroom closets.”
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Flanders commanded the Fabled Girls, “Lady archers, fire your arrows.”
And Gretchen from the north of the building and Destiny from the south of the building fired a volley of flaming arrows and poison arrows at the Great Black Dragon right in between them. But he stood there undaunted like a mighty Colossus. And the flaming arrows struck his armor plates and the fires of the arrows went out immediately, not harming him. And the poison arrows struck his armor scales likewise, and they likewise did not harm to him, their acid spilled harmlessly off of the dragon and onto the roof, burning holes in the shingles. And a dozen enhanced arrows were lying about upon the roof at the dragon’s feet.
In dismay the Fabled Girls said, “Our own arrows cannot hurt this dragon!”
The pets were shocked. The men were mortified. The women were on the verge of panic.
And the Great Black Dragon spoke and said, “I see here now in the start of my battle eight living soldiers of Christ. And I shall see soon in the end of my battle eight dead soldiers of Christ.”
The seven Christian soldiers looked now to their leader. Then Flanders commanded, “Good animals of our army of God, go now and attack the Great Black Dragon from both sides. An army never wins when it has to fight on two fronts.”
And Majesty and Indomitable from the north and Highness and Invincible from the south charged in upon the lone dragon from both sides. But, like a Gargantua, the Great Black Dragon swung his dragon paws about himself where he stood, and he swiped the four mighty animals right off of the roof. And they landed hard upon the ground before they could use their wings to lessen their fall.
The animals were dazed. The women were fearful. The men were unsure.
And Majesty spoke his thoughts as a unicorn, “Our unicorn horns cannot pierce this dragon’s hide.”
And likewise Highness spoke his thoughts as a griffin, “No griffin beak can peck through the armor of the Great Black Dragon.”
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And the she-unicorn Invincible said her part, “My own hooves boxed him in the ear, and he laughed at me.”
And Indomitable said, “Neither my eagle claws nor my lion paws will do any damage to this dragon. I have never seen such a thing as this before.”
Flanders and Proffery looked at each other, both perplexed and at a loss now. Flanders said, “It is our turn now, Brother. Maybe our swords can tear up his plates and his scales.”
And Proffery said, “Will our assault be any different from the first two assaults?”
“We must do something,” said Flanders.
“He is a good twenty-five of us in size,” said Proffery, staring at the Great Black Dragon.
“And a good thirty-five of us ladies,” said Gretchen.
“Our God is a good many of him several times over,” reminded Flanders. “Brother, let us charge the Great Black Dragon for the cause of Christ.”
“I am as you are, Brother,” agreed Proffery.
And the two famous swordsmen of Earth assaulted the dragon from both sides. Flanders brought down his Slaughter-Blade hard upon the upper leg of the great and mighty dragon with both hands. And Proffery brought his Massacre-Blade sideways in upon this unmoving dragon’s upper chest with both of his arms. Flanders reeled from the blow. Proffery’s arms felt a stinging numbness.
Flanders fell off of the roof. Proffery dropped his sword before his feet. Flanders landed down onto the second floor roof. Proffery picked back up his sword, but could not feel the heft upon his fingers.
Flanders picked himself back up where he had fallen. Proffery rubbed his wrists to try to get the feeling in them again. Flanders’s saber had not left his hands. Proffery’s saber was yet intact.
Flanders’s sword was also not damaged. Proffery began to feel the sword in his hand again.
All this while, the Great Black Dragon laughed. And after a while, he said to the men, “What valiant soldiers you two foremost among Christian warriors do make of yourselves this day. No sword
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in this world of creation can break through my armour. And no mortal sword fighter—neither you of the Occident, Flanders; nor you, of the North, Proffery—can fight me and live. I am the pride of the Dragon of Dragons. And he it is who formed my armor in his foundry. He took me, a plain black dragon, and made me into the Great Black Dragon that you see before you now.”
In the fury of rebuke, Flanders said, “My sword, Great Black Dragon, was made by the same Creator Who made the Heaven and the Earth.”
And, in the heat of this moment, Proffery also spoke back at this Great Black Dragon, “My Creator and my saber’s Creator was the same Creator Who made you when you were still a good angel before you fell in pride and rebellion.”
“Yet it is you who are all scattered throughout—all eight of you—while I by myself am still standing right where I have lighted,” said the Great Black Dragon.
“What are you going to do with us?” asked Gretchen, alone now upon the roof of her closet in defense of the Old Testament within and below.
“Are you going to burn mine up, too?” asked Destiny, also alone, herself upon the roof of her own closet with the New Testament preserved and hidden within and below.
“My father, the Dragon of Dragons, sent me on my errand this day. This day, Gretchen, I shall take away from God’s Earth your ancient Old Testament. And I will right after that, Destiny, take away from you and you Christians and everybody else, you oldest New Testament.”
“Boyfriend, help me!” cried out the elder Fabled Girl. Likewise the younger Fabled Girl also cried out to Proffery. And the Great Black Dragon, from where he stood, turned his draconic face to the north. And he began to march toward Gretchen Varsity. Gretchen looked up to Heaven and said, “I am sorry, Lord. I have failed You in my ministry. Receive my soul unto Heaven.”
Then Flanders Nickels discerned what had to be this dragon’s Achilles’ heel despite his utterly impregnable armor head to tail. He had once read that the human eye was the most sensitive organ of
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the human body. Surely the same should go for a demon like this Great Black Dragon. His eyes were not covered with any armour. In fact his dragon eye was the only part of his dragon body not covered by his endowed plates and scales. And he gave battle commandments to his girlfriend, “Shoot for the eyes, girl!”
Her arms and hands and whole form as a lady archer did not tremble for fear of death. She knew that if she were to die in battle, that she died for Christ. And those who died in Christ all went to Heaven, a Place far better than down here. And she already had a flaming arrow set ablaze and nocked in her bowstring. And as the Great Black Dragon came stomping toward her as she defended her Old Testament down in the house she stood upon, she fired her flaming arrow right into his big demonic left eye. He instinctively blinked, his armor eyelid falling downward to cover his eye. But his blink was not so fast as her flaming arrow. And his eyelids of armor closed down upon the shaft of the arrow too late. The iron plates of his eyelids broke this flaming arrow into two pieces. And the back half of the arrow fell down upon the roof at Gretchen’s feet. But the front half of the arrow was stuck in his left eye. And his eyelids that clamped down upon this arrow, only ended up driving this arrow farther and deeper into his eye. And the flame of the arrow, stuck in his eye, did set his left eye on fire from within. With a dragon’s fury, he forced open his eyelids and shook his head and forced the arrow tip out of his eye. This half of this arrow also fell upon the roof, and it rested now upon the roof beside the other part of the arrow, both now before the feet of the great dragon.
And the Great Black Dragon now gave in to a bellow of great and terrible torments. His left eye was utterly put out by Gretchen’s flaming arrow. He could no longer see out of that eye. He was blinded now in that eye. And it burned and smoldered and went out. The fire was quenched, but the eye was gone. And this Great Black Dragon was grievously wounded now in this battle. And he was bewildered. And sudden confusion came upon him—he who had always been an unconquerable field martial, who had come to expect a victory for himself for his kind in all of his battles against all
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soldiers of Christ, keepers and pets alike. With his right eye he looked at the lady archer who had done this to him. She now had another flaming arrow nocked and ready now for his good right eye. And he backed away and quickly turned his head away from her. And he saw Destiny facing him from the south part of Chez Maison.
Flanders called out, “Quick, Destiny, shoot out his right eye!”
He closed his right eye and charged in toward Destiny. She had one of her poisoned arrows already prepared and nocked in her bowstring. And just as he was about to tread her down under his dragon feet, he had to open his good eye so as to not fall off of the south roof edge where he was charging. That was when Destiny fired her acidic arrow in obedience to Flanders’s battle commands. And just before the Great Black Dragon could close his right eye again, the enhanced arrow impaled his good eye all the way through. Behold, the world’s most powerful acid from this arrow tip ate up his right eye unto utter and irreversible total blindness. And the pain from this acidic acid made him to fall down and writhe there upon the roof. As he had done atrocities to soldiers of Christ, so now did he suffer atrocity done to him. Destiny nocked another poison arrow on her bowstring. But it was not necessary. His right eye was completely gone in his dragon head. He stopped his convulsion. He raised his head. He saw nothing. He saw only blackness. He pondered. He stood up. He started exercising his other dragon senses where he stood. He pursued brilliant means to their end. And he plotted dragon’s tactics. He was not dead yet. He could not die with two eyes put out. But he could still fight. He was calm. He was sure. He was not done yet. And with his enhanced dragon senses, he located where the north closet and the south closet were from where he stood, apparently helpless.
The eight all assembled back upon the third story roof, as per wise command of Flanders. All were justifiably wary. The army of eight could not take him out now with their weapons that they possessed. These weapons could not knock off his armor. And his eyes, the only part of him not covered with armor were already taken out. Proffery asked, “Flanders, so what do we do now?”
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After some thought, and seeing the Great Black Dragon sniffing with his nose and listening with his ear and tapping his dragon foot upon the house, Flanders said, “He’s plotting strategy.”
“What do you think that he will do now?” asked Proffery.
“I do not know,” said Flanders. “Let us wait and see if what he does ends up to his own destruction.”
“What can he do now?” asked Gretchen.
“Do not underestimate the Great Black Dragon,” warned Flanders.
Then the Great Black Dragon roared like a champion, and he shot fire out of his mouth from where he stood in the middle of the roof far out toward the north of the building. And right after that, with another conqueror’s roar, he turned around and shot fire out of his mouth from here far out toward the south of the building. He most ingeniously aimed for the holy closets. The men gasped. The women screamed. The animals panicked. But the dragon’s aim with his utter blindness missed their marks by just a few feet. The fire meant for the roof of the north closet came up short and struck the roof of the north bedroom instead. And the fire that he had intended for the south closet also fell short of the mark and fell upon the roof of the south bedroom instead.
Nonetheless, this Chez Maison was set quite on fire.
Exhausted by this routine task for a dragon, due to his weakness from his two blinded eyes, the Great Black Dragon fell down upon his stomach and lay his head down at his dragon forelegs and felt faint. He could shoot no more fires out of his mouth. He was helpless, but he was unassailable, his dragon armor his perfect security from death.
And the burning roofs of the two bedrooms quickly began to eat up the two bedrooms from above with a fiery blaze. And, as the bedrooms were being burned up with this dragon’s fires, next to be burned up with this dragon’s fires would be the two bedroom closets. It looked like even in defeat this Great Black Dragon had won his victory. Surely the original Bibles that God had entrusted the
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Fabled Girls and their comrades with to keep safe from dragon fire were soon going to be consumed by dragon fire.
“The closets, Flanders!” exclaimed Proffery the thoughts of the eight great warriors-for-Christ collectively.
“God is not done yet,” said Flanders.
“We cannot keep the fire from the closets,” said Proffery.
“Then, Brother, we better keep the closets from the fire,” said Flanders.
“How do we do that?” asked Proffery.
“Let us two go down with our sabers, and let us see the deliverance of the Lord our God,” replied Flanders.
And Proffery said, “May we prevail in the Lord, whatever your strategy might be, Brother.”
And Flanders gave battle commands, “Let us all leave this roof and quickly get back down to the ground below. There is work for us soldiers-of-the-cross to do.”
And quickly getting down and off of the burning Chez Maison, all awaited Flanders’s orders and wondered what he had in mind from the Holy Spirit. The Great Black Dragon was alone now in the middle of the burning roof.
And Flanders gave his orders, “We need you Fabled Girls to pray now like you two have never prayed before. We need myself and Proffery to hack down the wooden beams that hold up the two closets that extend beyond the walls of Chez Maison. And we need you four animals to catch the falling closets and keep the manuscripts from being damaged in the fall.”
“Let us go and do that,” said Proffery.
And Flanders said, “Proffery, take Destiny and Highness and Indomitable and run to the south end of the mansion with Godspeed, and do the work that I wish for you. I shall take Gretchen and Majesty and Invincible and rush to the north end of the great house at once, and we shall do our work
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over there. Let us be brave for our Lord of hosts.”
And the eight soldiers at once began this battle strategy execution. Interceding for the removal of her closet from the burning building, Destiny got down on her knees and prayed out loud for the preservation of her original New Testament, and Proffery hacked away with his copper saber at the four wooden supporting beams, and the two griffins stood across from each other, ready to catch the closet when it were to fall. Likewise, in her part to remove her closet from this burning building, Gretchen knelt down and prayed out loud for God’s mercy and grace for her Old Testament in its first writing, and Flanders began to hack at the four wooden pillars of her closet with his brass sword, and the two unicorns stood below, ready to catch the falling closet when it were to come down.
Destiny’s third floor closet began to fall. “Careful with the treasures,” said Proffery to the animals, himself backpedaling out of its fall. And the she-griffin and the he-griffin caught the falling little room with both strength and gentleness, and they did not let it hit the ground, and they did not damage the walls. And they set it down with great care, its structure yet intact. Destiny’s closet was not damaged by any fire. Seeing this south part of Chez Maison on fire, Proffery said, “Now carry this closet away from the burning building. And Highness and Indomitable lifted this closet back up and did carry it far away from the great fire of the mansion. Destiny’s south closet was rescued.
And at this same time, Gretchen’s closet began to fall. “Some T.L.C. with the papers, if you would,” said Flanders. And he ran out from under the descending closet just in time. And his she-unicorn and her she-unicorn mightily and gingerly snatched the north closet as it descended from the third story. And with a grunt and a groan they set it successfully upon the ground next to the house here at the north end. This closet was not scorched with any fire. “Better yet, let’s take this closet far away from the fire,” suggested Flanders. And the powerful unicorn twosome carried the closet to a safe place several paces away. Gretchen’s north closet, also, was rescued.
The Fabled Girls and their soldiers had not failed this day. God had won for them once again.
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At once the Fabled Girls jumped up from their great and effectual prayers, and they ran up to their closets at these opposite sides of their home and resting now upon their side yards. And Destiny ran into her closet, and she examined it and felt her scrolls with her hands, and she came out and said, “Praise God they are not harmed or damaged in any way! Dragon fire has not reached them!” Her New Testament was still completely okay.
“Praise God!” said Proffery in the fervency that befitted this moment.
Gretchen Varsity also also ran into her closet, studied it, and touched her ancient parchments. She prayed then, “God is good!” Her Old Testament was still preserved, spared from dragon fire this day.
“Amen, Girlfriend!” praised Flanders the Lord.
And the Fabled Girls ran back to their boyfriends, and girlfriends and boyfriends hugged in the joy of the Lord.
Majesty then said, “Our house is still on fire.”
And Highness said, “The Great Black Dragon still lives.”
And Invincible said, “He’s on the roof, and he is not moving.”
And Indomitable said, “He’s going to burn up with the house.”
Gretchen said, “The fire that he set on Chez Maison is going to be his own death.”
And Destiny said, “He will perish from his own fire that he shot out of his mouth.”
And Proffery said, “Didn’t you say, Flanders, that maybe the Great Black Dragon might do something in this battle that could end up for his own destruction?”
“I did,” said Flanders. “God knew. And now we know.”
And the Fabled Girls wondered where they might live now. But God comforted their hearts and told them, “’Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” And the Fabled Girls trusted God in faith.
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CHAPTER XVIII
The eight stood before the remains of Chez Maison. It was the next day. It was all burned up and leveled and still smoking.
“Your home, O Gretchen, O Destiny,” lamented Flanders.
“Our former home,” said the elder Fabled Girl.
“Gone,” said Proffery.
“But never forgotten,” said Destiny.
“What a thing to happen,” said Flanders. “I wish that we could have done things differently.
“Boyfriend, we are all alive and our treasures of the Scriptures are yet preserved, thanks in much for you,” said Gretchen.
“And the Great Black Dragon fell in battle,” said Destiny.
“I think that I can see what’s left of him in the smoldering rubble,” said Proffery.
“What a fire that was,” said Flanders.
“I thank God for my new home,” said Gretchen. “My and Destiny’s new home.”
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“We’re still together, Big Sister, and it is a nice new house,” said the younger Fabled Girl.
“Right next door to our Cubed-House,” said Flanders.
“It is good to have you girlfriends so close to us now,” said Proffery.
“And so quickly God gave it to us,” said Gretchen. “Even before this day after the fire.”
“Yesterday, the very day we lost Chez Maison, the real estate agent came up to us with his offer, and God gave us the go-ahead to go and buy it,” said Destiny.
“And there is even a stable out back for me and for Highness,” said Majesty.
“We both have to share the one stable, but you are a great roommate, Majesty,” said Highness in sincerity.
“And so are you, Highness,” said Majesty in accord.
“We twin sisters have to share one bedroom together now,” said Gretchen. “But we Fabled Girls make great roommates, too.”
“I can get used to that, Big Sister,” said Destiny.
“You don’t have anything to put into your new house yet,” said Flanders.
“Oh, but we do,” said Gretchen. “We put our original Bible manuscripts in our new house.”
“And God blessed us Fabled Girls with a bedroom that comes with two closets,” said Destiny.
“Of course her closet has her scrolls, and my closet has my parchments,” said Gretchen.
“Just like before when we had a bedroom and its closet for each of us,” said Destiny.
“And you still have your blue and red football cheerleader uniform, Girlfriend,” said Flanders to Gretchen.
“Uh huh,” said Gretchen with a nod of her head and with a curtsy. holding her box pleats in her fingers. It was on her person again now.
‘Nice. Nice,” said Flanders in a sultry tone.
“And you still have your basketball cheerleader uniform all in blue and red, girl,” said Proffery
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to Destiny.
“Yes, Boyfriend,” said Destiny, and she spun in place in her cheerleader uniform, her knife pleats rising around her hips in that pirouette.
“Neat. Real neat,” said Proffery in an ardent tone.
“Amen,” said the Fabled Girls in a gentle and sincere praise to God.
“Amen!” roared the two men in a loud praise of God, but which sounded like a hooting for a showgirl on a stage.
“Flanders, you sound like a lecher the way you said that,” said the elder Fabled Girl.
Destiny said, “Yeah, like we are erotic entertainment girls. What’s with that?”
Flanders said, “It is all for what you are wearing.”
“Yes. Yes,” agreed Proffery.
And the Fabled Girls understood. They thought back, remembered, and did not feel
comfortable.
“I thought that you were over that,” said Gretchen.
“Once a guy tastes drag, he wants to taste drag again,” said Flanders.
“Not for us women,” said Destiny.
“We know. We can tell,” said Proffery. “But it is different for us guys.”
“Flanders, I will not let you try on my own cheerleader uniform again. You did it once behind my back and told me all about it. But never again,” said Gretchen.
“Nor I, you, either, Proffery,” said Destiny. “Cheerleader uniforms are meant for gals and not for guys.”
Invincible spoke now and said, “Master, you still think about that?”
“I can not stop thinking about that, girl,” said Flanders to Invincible.
“Why?” asked Invincible.
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“I guess because my sinful flesh tempts me with it,” confessed Flanders.
“Why, my pleats mean more to you than I do, Flanders,” said Gretchen Varsity.
“Not quite that,” said Flanders quickly.
“But almost,” said Gretchen.
“At least,” confessed Flanders after some thought.
Indomitable spoke and said to Proffery, “Master, do you feel the same way as Flanders does?”
“Pleats. Pleats. Pleats. And all of the rest of that luscious outfit. Yes, girl. I do,” said Proffery.
“That’s positively worldly, Master,” rebuked the she-griffin her wayward keeper.
“I know, Indomitable. I know,” said Proffery. “My sinful heart craves for my girlfriend’s clothes.”
“I don’t understand,” said the griffin pet.
“It’s a cross dresser thing,” said Proffery.
“You men were not born that way,” said Majesty. “Were you?”
“No. We were not,” said Flanders.
“Then how come you men are that way now?” asked Highness.
“It must be a chosen lifestyle that we dabbled with and are now hooked by it,” confessed Proffery.
“Too bad,” said Invincible.
“Not good,” said Indomitable.
“Oh, to be a girl again,” said Flanders shamelessly, remembering his brief festival in his girlfriend’s cheerleader uniform of that one day.
“Oh, if only I were Destiny again right now,” said Proffery in no shame and in all disgrace.
“I don’t know about you,” said Gretchen, “But this must stop.”
“Otherwise bad things will happen in our relationships as boyfriends-and-girlfriends-in-Christ,”
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said Destiny.
“I am willing to renounce drag if I had the strength and the wisdom to do so for the rest of my life,” said Flanders.
“And I could quit my drag if I had a whole lot of help from the Holy Spirit working mightily in me for now on,” said Proffery.
“Are you sure about that, Boyfriend?” asked Gretchen Flanders.
“I cannot overcome my fetish on my own,” said Flanders.
“Then how about you, Proffery?” asked Destiny. “Do you mean what you say?”
“If I were to mean it now, how will I feel next time I get my urges?” he confessed.
“This urge must be stronger than any urge for sex, but not physically, but emotionally,” said Gretchen.
“I do believe so, Gretchen,” said Flanders.
“And the way you must feel about drag, Proffery, must be not so much short term, but enduring for long term,” said Destiny.
“That it is,” said Proffery.
“It must satisfy your sexual desires without seeking physical gratification then,” said Gretchen.
“Yes. That is it.” said Flanders, enlightened.
“It must be a sex thing without sex,” said Destiny.
“You’re right, Destiny,” said Proffery, edified.
“We drag queens are wannabe women,” said Flanders.
“And you girls are not wannabe men,” said Proffery.
The Fabled Girls looked at each other. “What can we do, Big Sister?” asked Destiny.
“Whatever we need to do to straighten out our men, we have to do now for once and for all.” said Gretchen.
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Flanders and Proffery looked at each other, then at their girlfriends, then at the four pets.
“Master, say something,” said Invincible.
“Say anything, Master,” said Indomitable.
Flanders said, “Maybe a test.”
“A first test which will be the last test,” said Proffery.
“A test, Flanders, Proffery?” asked the Fabled Girls.
“You give us an opportunity to put on your cheerleader outfits. We must choose to obey God or disobey God. And if we pass, then we will pass forever any tests that might come into our hearts in our private thoughts in all times to come after,” said Flanders.
And Proffery elaborated on this idea, “If we do overcome our first temptation, then overcoming the second temptation will be easier, and overcoming the third temptation will be even easier yet.”
“Wrong! Wrong! All wrong, Flanders,” said Gretchen. “From what you told me about this drag fetish you have for my cheerleader uniform, these tests do not work that way for you. You said that passing such tests for a cross dresser gets harder each successive time.”
“Yeah, Proffery: harder each time after, and not easier each time after,” said Destiny.
In acknowledgment and correction, the two men nodded their heads.
Flanders said, “You’re right.”
Proffery said, “We’re wrong.”
“If only it worked that other way,” said Flanders.
“Woe are we, Brother,” said Proffery.
“Who are we to tempt our boyfriends-in-Christ to fall into sin with such a test?” asked Destiny.
And Gretchen said, “’But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.’ James 1:14-15.”
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Majesty said, “If it were up to me, I would give you men a good kick in the pants and say, ‘Shape up!’”
“Or God will have to do it for you,” said Highness.
“Master, you make excuses for your sin,” said Invincible. “No Christian has to sin, you know.”
And Indomitable said, “I will not feel sorry for a master who willingly and deliberately disobeys God and goes and backslides on Him.”
“Brother, look what has become of us,” said Flanders. “We find ourselves having to choose between a cheerleader outfit and our Lord Jesus.”
“And here we are, already talking about choosing the cheerleader outfit over God,” said Proffery.
“You two men should be ashamed of yourselves,” said Destiny.
“We Fabled Girls are ashamed of you two men,” said Gretchen.
“Boyfriend, I prefer my man to wear the pants and the shirts in our relationship,” said Destiny.
“You should leave the skirts and the dresses to us Fabled Girls, Flanders,” said Gretchen.
Embarrassed and convicted, the men turned away from their girlfriends and said no more.
Then the elder Fabled Girl spoke and said, “I would like to test you anyway, Flanders.”
“Big Sister!” called forth Destiny in disagreement.
“Little Sister, wouldn’t you like to test your Proffery?” asked Gretchen.
Destiny thought for but a short moment, and she replied, “Yes, Gretchen. Now that I think of it, I would like to test Proffery.” Then she said, “I am still mad at you, Proffery, for sneaking around and putting on my own private cheerleader uniform like you did that one time when I was not home.”
“And I, you, Flanders, for playing the sneak and putting on my cheerleader uniform, too, like you did,” said Gretchen.
But the drag queens were not unhappy with this rough talk from their girlfriends that suddenly
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came up upon them. It might give the boyfriends one more time to “put it on.”
And in secret hopes, Flanders asked, “Then there will be an official test for me, Gretchen?”
“And for me, too, Destiny?” asked Proffery in secret anticipation.
“Yes, Flanders and Proffery,” said Gretchen. “And when we get done with you two, you two will never go back to that abominable drag with us Fabled Girls’ cheerleader apparel again.”
“Big Sister,” said Destiny. “That sounds harsh.”
“It won’t sound harsh to you when I tell you, Destiny,” said Gretchen. “I will get alone with you later and tell you all about it before we go and test them.”
“Oo, I can’t wait,” said Destiny in curiosity.
“Where is this test to take place?” asked Flanders. Gretchen grinned. “Not outside, I hope,” he said.
“No. Not outside, Flanders,” said Gretchen.
“Then inside somewhere?” asked Proffery.
“Yes, Proffery,” said Gretchen. “You two’s tests will be inside somewhere.”
“They cannot be here at the burned down Chez Maison,” said Flanders.
“No. They cannot be here at the burned down Chez Maison,” said Gretchen.
“Then is it going to be at you two women’s new place next door?” asked Proffery.
“No, Proffery. These tests will not take place at us two women’s new place next door,” said Gretchen.
“Are our tests going to take place at the Cubed-House then?” asked the two men simultaneously.
“We Fabled Girls will test you boyfriends at your own Cubed-House,” said Gretchen.
“We will be home, Brother!” said Proffery, most glad to hear that.
“In our own house then!” said Flanders, himself also most happy to hear this.
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What more comfortable place could a drag queen dress up in than in the comforts of his own home? That was just what Flanders and Proffery were thinking right now. And they both could not wait for the test and to seize their golden opportunity and rediscover their joy of cross dressing in private.
“What are we waiting for?” asked Flanders.
“Let’s have at it,” said Proffery.
“Master, I do not feel good about this,” said Invincible.
“Bad will come of this, Master,” said Indomitable.
Gretchen proclaimed, “Let the tests begin.”
And the eight left the remains of Chez Maison and took a long silent walk to the Cubed-House.
Once there, Gretchen got alone with Destiny and told her in private what she had in mind for this ultimate test. She asked Destiny if she would do her part just as Gretchen would her own part. And Destiny agreed with a promise. And they were confident in the Holy Spirit that this trick to the test had to work and that it could not fail. Then the Fabled Girls had an intermission to go to their new house and bring back with them their robes in their cheerleader arms.
Then the Fabled Girls joined the six others again in front of the Cubed-House, and Gretchen said, “For this test we must ask the animals to not come into the house. Invincible, Indomitable, do not converse anymore for this short duration until the test is complete. Majesty, Highness, if you will, stay out of the house while we women do our work of Christ. Do not make a noise or a peep outside here in
this experiment until it is all over. We need utter privacy with our men in their house.”
Then Gretchen said, “Only we women and our men are to come into this Cubed-House right now. And when the tests are being done, we women will leave the men to themselves. And the men will be alone in their bedrooms to make up their minds once and for all about what they will do or not do with our cheerleader uniforms for the rest of their lives down here on the Earth.”
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“Shall the tests begin?” asked Destiny.
“Let the tests begin,” said Gretchen.
And the four born-again believers entered the Cubed-House. Together Destiny and Proffery walked up to his second-story floor. Together Gretchen and Flanders walked up to his third-story floor.
Alone, Destiny and Proffery entered into his bedroom for his test. And together Gretchen and Flanders entered into his bedroom for his test. The men, knowing their Fabled Girls, knew that no immorality was involved in this test. The virtue of these four born-again Christians was unimpeachable. And these bedrooms were not places for immorality for these preeminent men and women of Christendom. Such were not temptations for these men and these women.
Then Destiny got alone in Proffery’s closet, took off her precious Utopia basketball cheerleader uniform and put on her robe.
At this same time, Gretchen got alone in Flanders’s closet, took off her dear Utopia football cheerleader uniform and put on her robe.
And the robed Destiny Varsity exited Proffery’s closet. Her archery attire in full was worn over her full robe. And in her arms were all of her cheerleader uniform pieces of attire, except for her inner apparel, which she had on within her robe.
At this same time, Gretchen Varsity left Flanders’s closet and came out into his bedroom. She had on her inner attire and her big robe. And she had donned also her full set of artillery over her robe.
And in her arms were all of the pieces that made up her cheerleader’s uniform apparel.
Then Destiny, according to her big twin sister’s plan, began to set these alternate drag clothes upon the floor before where Proffery was standing. And when she was done, the collection of cheerleader articles made a type of Destiny there upon the floor, each piece resting on the floor just as they were on her when she wore it everyday.
And Gretchen, right now, was doing in like. She set her cheerleader uniform pieces upon
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the floor in front of Flanders where he stood as he watched. And when she was done preparing her test, her cheerleader outfit was upon the floor just as they usually were when on herself top to bottom. This was or was not going to be drag for sure in this room.
In Proffery’s bedroom, Destiny said to him, “Look upon the blue and the red, Boyfriend. See the colors and the fabric and all of the delightful pieces that you so long for in the cause of cross dressing. If you think that I feel good in this every day, just think how good you would feel in this every day. You can have the whole rest of your life to share my basketball cheerleader uniform with your cheerleader girlfriend if you give in and fail this test and put this on.”
Meanwhile in Flanders’s bedroom, Gretchen said to him, “Boyfriend, look upon my cheerleader sweater and make it your cheerleader sweater. Look upon my cheerleader skirt and make it your cheerleader skirt. This can be both yours and mine for the rest of our dating years together if you give in to this temptation and put it on this day. Indeed not just the sweater and the skirt, but all the rest of the blue and the red parts that make up this football cheerleader uniform as well, Boyfriend.”
Proffery was aroused into a passion of desires where he stood, looking down upon his fetish of an attire.
Flanders was stimulated in a sensual urge where he stood, gazing upon his fetish now so freely offered to him.
Destiny said to Proffery, “I will leave you alone now with this Utopia Seraphim Varsity basketball cheerleader uniform for one hour. And when I come back in an hour, I will know whether you became the drag queen all over again or did not become the drag queen all over again.” Then she said, “It is written in Numbers 32:23, ‘…: and be sure your sin will find you out.’”
And Gretchen said to Flanders, “Look upon this Utopia Seraphim Varsity football cheerleader uniform. I will go away for one hour. You will be alone with this outfit for one hour. And then I will come back to this room and see how you are dressed—you in my own clothes or you in your own
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clothes.” Then she said, “And remember, ‘It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.’
Hebrews 10:31.”
“Is that everything, Destiny?” asked Proffery in his bedroom.
“Is that it, Gretchen?” asked Flanders in his bedroom.
“There is one more thing,” said Destiny to Proffery.
“There is one last thing,” said Gretchen to Flanders.
“What is it, Destiny?” asked Proffery.
“What might that be, Gretchen?” asked Flanders.
Alone with her boyfriend and her cheer clothes on the floor in Proffery’s room, Destiny went on raise her bow in the air before him, and she drew an arrow from her quiver, and she dipped her arrow head into her container of He2O, took her poisoned arrow out of her container, nocked this acid-arrow in her bowstring, and did aim it upon her basketball cheerleader uniform there upon the floor. And this younger Fabled Girl went on to declare, “Proffery, if you even once this day dare to dress up as a girly man in this cheerleader uniform of mine, I promise God and you and myself and my he-griffin that I will at once put this same cheerleader uniform upon the floor again right here, and I will shoot an acidic acid arrow through each and every piece of this uniform where it lies on this floor. That is, these ribbons, these pom poms, this vest, this skirt, these socks, these sneakers—every piece that you see before you now that you are thinking to get away with and slipping into when I leave you alone with it. All of this cheerleader uniform as you and I have come to know it will be consumed and eaten up with most corrosive acid, each piece by itself, piece by piece. And when that happens, not only will you never get to put it on again, but nor will I ever get to put it on again– for forever after.” Then, with authority, the younger Fabled Girl took her poison arrow in her hand and swung her poisoned arrow from right to left, and acid spilled onto the wooden floor and ate up a section of wooden floorboard.
Meanwhile, in Flanders’s bedroom, Gretchen, her cheerleader uniform on the floor between him
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and her, did pick up her bow from the floor, drew an arrow from her quiver, took a match from her leather bag along her hip, set fire to her arrow, nocked her flaming arrow in her bowstring, and aimed it upon her football cheerleader uniform upon the wooden floor. And the elder Fabled Girl went on to disclose her addendum to Flanders, “I vow this day in my name and your name and my he-unicorn’s name and the Lord’s name, Flanders Nickels, that if you dare put on my own cheerleader uniform and make yourself look like a fem again, that I will assuredly put these clothes of mine, that you see before you down there now, down here upon your floor again, and I will shoot each part of this through with one of my flaming arrows. That is one arrow each for the ribbons and the pom poms and the sweater and the skirt and the knee socks and the tennis shoes. And each piece that both you and I hold dear will be burned up into ashes. And no one will be ever able to wear it again for now on—neither myself, who am right to wear this; nor yourself, who are not right to wear this.” And Gretchen then took her flaming arrow, raised it in her hand and swung down with it hard, and thereby put out the fire of her arrow. Gretchen meant business with Flanders, and he could see that.
“I shall now leave you to your decision, Proffery,” said the younger Fabled Girl to Proffery back in his room. And Destiny left the room and the house and stood outside with the four pets.
“I now leave you alone to make up your mind,” said Gretchen to Flanders in his room. And the elder Fabled Girl left the room and the Cubed-House and rejoined the four pets.
Day of reckoning for the Christian drag queens.
It was suddenly an easy test for Proffery with an easy decision. He loved the basketball cheerleader uniform of his girlfriend, and he loved seeing his girlfriend dressed up as his basketball cheerleader. Though he wanted most of all among all things to put this on and “become his girlfriend Destiny Varsity” and to feel feminine thereby, it was not at all worth losing this cheerleader outfit out of his life and her life for now on. To see this exciting aggregate of parts that made this cheerleader uniform to be eaten up with acid would utterly ruin him. And think what it would do to Destiny, to
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whom this meant almost as much as it did to himself. He said to God now, “I will not put on this outfit.” Though this prayer and promise and declaration to God was brief, it had utmost great power of sincerity and faith and commitment. And he sat down upon the floor, strong and wise and determined in the Holy Spirit, looked upon it in comfort and sureness and good confidence, and waited for the hour to come to pass. And the hour passed quickly and easily for Proffery Coins.
Likewise was this seemingly insurmountable test for Flanders suddenly made equally simple for him alone now in his bedroom with his girlfriend’s football cheerleader uniform. How dare Gretchen even threaten this irresistible cheerleader uniform with such consuming fire? If he were to see this wonderful fetish for both cheerleader and cheerleader fan become all burned up into cinders and embers from her flaming arrows, Flanders would become disillusioned with life. And she would be discouraged for the rest of her life. If he did not put this on this moment, then he and his girlfriend could continue their dating life together with her in this for the rest of their lives together. This was not the case for Flanders to say, “If I can’t wear it, then she can’t wear it.” This football cheerleader uniform was too precious for the both of them to let himself fall into temptation and sacrifice it like that for the both of them. He would not put this on. And he said a succinct avowal to the Lord, “Not today. Not later. Not ever.” And he meant it with the resolve of a dragon-slayer. And God heard him. And God was well-pleased. And God gave him peace in this moment of trial. Faithful to the faithful Lord, Flanders sat down before this enticing football cheerleader uniform, refused to touch it, and sang hymns of victory over temptation for an hour. And the hour of temptation passed by quickly and easily for Flanders Nickels.
Destiny Varsity came back into Proffery Coins’s bedroom, saw him dressed in his men’s blue jeans and long-sleeved plaid shirt, and sang out to him in his victory, “Proffery, you look so masculine this day.”
And Gretchen Varsity came back into Flanders Nickels’s bedroom. Seeing him dressed in his
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black denim pants and his short-sleeved striped shirt, she said to him, “What a virile boyfriend I have today.”
And Proffery rejoiced in his utter repentance. So, too, was Flanders glad for his repentance. Their girlfriends admired their boyfriends dressing like men. And that made the men glad to be men and to stay dressed as men. The favor of these righteous Fabled Girls as girlfriends was great and abundant praise in the hearts and the minds of these guys. They had made the right decision about this matter, and they would never make any wrong decision about these matters again. And their thirty-three-year-old cheerleaders would continue on to become thirty-four-year-old cheerleaders and on beyond someday to the time of the imminent rapture.
The tests passed with flying colors and the temptations utterly overcome and the men victorious over their sins, the Fabled Girls went ahead to go back into their boyfriends’ closets, take off their robes, and put back on their full cheerleader uniforms once again. The four then walked out together to the outside, boyfriend and girlfriend holding hands. And all the pets rejoiced to see the two great sword fighters dressed as guys. Then the guys swept the gals off of their feet and carried them away to a private place of good and wholesome and innocent romance. The pets ran off to play animal games. And the Fabled Girls and their boyfriends talked magic of romance, Gretchen and Flanders off to the east; and Destiny and Proffery off to the west.
It is written, “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.’” I Corinthians 10:13.
Again it is written, “For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted.” Hebrews 2:18.
And all four were fully restored to Christ in all manner of daily worship life once again just as they had been before they had stumbled in their walk with Jesus.
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CHAPTER XIX
The Dragon of Dragons did not see the Great Black Dragon return home to the Tower on Dread Isle Doom. He knew what happened. And he was furious. And he acted in most diabolical revenge, indeed climaxing his war against God through all the dispensations of history upon God’s creation. And he did fly down from his top floor room of his Tower, light upon the ground before his Tower, and command its demonic residents, “Fellow dragons all, go now to where the Fabled Girls live, and burn up those holy and Godly scriptures that they have, and then burn down this whole Earth.”
And all of the dragons that he had now left the Tower in a force of thousands of thousands—dragons of every solid color of the spectrum—indeed the consummate host of all demons in the world. And the entire fallen angel hierarchy that served the Great Red Dragon at once began to fly in the skies on their way to get and to take away and to burn up the Fabled Girls’ first testaments for once and for all and forever more. The Great Red Dragon stayed behind at his Tower and brooded in ferocious revenge.
Meanwhile, the fellowship of eight, told of God to rest and to play games, were playing flag
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football in back of the new house that the Fabled Girls had moved into next door to the Cubed-House.
They missed the former Chez Maison, but their new house was all the closer to their boyfriends’ house now. And Flanders and Proffery had made a makeshift football field consisting of branches and sticks for boundaries and themselves holding their arms upward and outward for field goal posts, and pits of dug up earth for end zones. The football, though, was real. And the flags around their waists were real flags. And the men were dressed as dragon-slayers without their sabers along their hips. And the women were dressed as cheerleaders without their archery appurtenances. And all four players had pairs of flags along their sides that could be pulled off to count for a tackle. And the four pets stood along the sidelines of this rag tag football field and cheered on their keepers during the big game. The animals could not play this game, but they could still be the number one fans of their respective keepers, nonetheless. This time, only the keepers would play. And the pets agreed with that. On one team were Flanders and Gretchen. They were to be called “the Elders.” And on the other team were Proffery and Destiny. They were to be called “the Youngers.”
And the rudimentary football game began: Gretchen held the football to the ground as if she were holding it upon a tee, and Flanders ran up to it and kicked off to the Youngers. And the two teams of two began to converge. Destiny retrieved the ball and began to run up field, and Proffery ran ahead to block for her. Highness, her fan, yelled out, “Run to daylight, Mistress!” And Flanders and Gretchen closed in upon her to grab at her flag. Curious, Destiny looked down at her flags to both sides of her hips wondering if they might get in the way of her running. Not looking where she was going and distracted thus, she suddenly fumbled the football. And it rolled away from everybody and quickly went out of bounds.
“What happens now from this?” asked Destiny.
And Proffery said, “Because you fumbled the football and nobody recovered it before it went out of bounds, it is still our ball on the field where the ball rolled out of bounds.”
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“Great call, Master!” yelled out Indomitable his fan.
“First and ten on the thirty-yard line,” declared Flanders his opponents’ position on the field.
“Well said, Master!” cheered out his fan Invincible.
Proffery and Destiny got in the huddle for him to call their next play. And he said, “Go out for a pass.”
And they lined up. She was to be the center; and he, the quarterback for this play. He said, “Hut!” And he waited for the snap. Instead Destiny held on to the ball, ran up field with it, and then threw a backward lateral back to himself, where he stood mystified. Not knowing what he could do from this, he tried to run, but instantly Gretchen caught him and took off his flag. The play was done.
With a great laugh, Proffery said, “I thought that I told you to go out for a pass, Girlfriend.”
And Destiny said, “That I did, Proffery. I went out, and I passed.”
And he said, “It is a good thing, Destiny, that you are a basketball cheerleader and not a football cheerleader.”
“Did I get it wrong?” she asked.
“You kind of did,” he said. The Youngers laughed mirthfully together.
And Gretchen’s fan Majesty called forth, “Great play, Mistress!”
Then Proffery said, “I think that maybe you should call the next play, Destiny.”
“Second down and twenty yards to go,” called forth Flanders.
And the Youngers got into the huddle, and Destiny said, “”Go out for a pass. This time I’ll get it right, Proffery.”
And they lined up—Destiny where the quarterback lines up; and Proffery where the center lines up. “Hut!” she yelled. And Proffery hiked her the football, and she stood there, and Proffery ran out for a pass. The Elders sought to cover Proffery, but they both tripped over each other and gave way to a broken coverage, leaving Proffery wide open for an easy touchdown after an easy catch. But the pass
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was never thrown. Destiny just stood there, holding the ball as if to throw, but never throwing it. And the Elders both got up and ran toward her and tore off both of her flags at the same time.
Proffery came back to her and said, “Why didn’t you throw it?”
“I know something about football, Proffery. And I know that if a quarterback throws an incompletion or an interception that that is a bad thing in football,” she said to him. “I did not want to do a wrong thing three plays in a row.”
“Third down and thirty,” declared Flanders.
“Never give up, Mistress!” called forth her Highness.
“Keep the faith, Master!” called forth Indomitable.
“Maybe you should call the next play, Proffery,” said Destiny.
“I shall try to keep it simple,” said Proffery.
“Maybe you could make it something like in basketball,” she said. “I know all about basketball, you know.”
“Maybe I could make it something like in basketball?” he asked.
“Basketball cheerleaders secretly wish to be basketball players,” she said.
“They do?” he asked.
“Well, not so with myself,” she said. “Girl basketball players are popular in high school.”
Really reaching it, he tentatively called the next Youngers’ play to her, “Go out for a lay-up.”
He had no idea what this would bring about with the younger Fabled Girl as his teammate. But with hope he went ahead with the play to find out. He snapped her the ball, and she ran downfield with the ball in her hand with great speed. She outran Gretchen, and she outran Flanders. And she was increasing the distance between herself and her pursuers. And very quickly she crossed on into the opponents’ end zone. And in the end zone Destiny made believe a lay-up at an imaginary net.
“Touchdown, Mistress!” called forth Highness.
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“Well! Well!” said Proffery, most pleased. “Good job, Girlfriend. Great job!”
“I just scored two points for us Youngers with that basket,” said Destiny.
“Six points, Mistress!” corrected Highness in cheer.
“Six points?” she said. “That’s three times as much.”
“Would you do the honor of kicking the extra point, Destiny?” asked Proffery, proud of her and his confidence completely restored in her.
“Is the extra point worth only one point, Proffery?” she asked.
“It is,” he said. “It is also called ‘the point after touchdown.’”
“That’s only worth one free throw,” said Destiny.
“Or one-half of one regular basket,” said Gretchen facetiously. “Or one-third of one regular three-pointer.”
“Big Sister, where did you go and learn things about basketball?” asked Destiny.
“Remember which Fabled Girl went to your basketball games where you cheered, and remember which Fabled Girl did not go to my football games where I cheered,” said Gretchen.
“That’s telling the girl, Mistress,” called forth Majesty.
“Don’t let your sister talk to you that way, Mistress,” called forth Highness.
And the Youngers prepared for the extra point attempt, and the Elders prepared to try to block it.
Proffery stood at the far end of the end zone and held up his arms like a goal post. In this extra point, with original rules of play to suit this game, Destiny was going to try to punt it, with none who could be the holder and with no actual tee with which to play.
She held up the ball; the Elders rushed her to block it, and she punted the extra point attempt.
It got quite blocked. But it fell back into her own hands. And she could think only of running with it.
And the speedy cheerleader most artfully cut right through and past the two rushers, ran toward the end zone, and then did stop just short of the goal line and did punt the ball right through and past Proffery’s
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held-up arms. The score was now the Youngers: 7; the Elders: 0.
“Great extra point, Mistress!” called forth Highness.
“Great goal post, Master!” called forth Indomitable to Proffery.
“Now it is your turn to receive, Master,” said Invincible to Flanders.
“Go, Mistress! Go!” cheered Majesty to Gretchen.
And the four lined up for the next kickoff of today’s game. And the Youngers kicked off to the Elders, Destiny holding the ball upon the ground, and Proffery kicking it downfield. Flanders caught the ball in the end zone and began to run with it before he secured the ball. And he fumbled it away in the end zone before coming out onto the field of play. And it lay there a dead ball still in the end zone.
“Kick it out, Flanders!” called out Gretchen.
In panic, and seeing the Youngers looking to scoop it up, Flanders listened to the woman, and he swung his leg and kicked the ball out of the end zone. And it went past the Youngers and right into the hands of Gretchen at their own five-yard line, and Gretchen fell on the loose ball and downed it deep in her own territory.
“Penalty!” called forth Proffery.
“That’s a safety,” confessed Flanders. “I shouldn’t have listened to the girl.”
“What an easy two points that was, Master,” said Indomitable to Proffery.
And Gretchen said, “I didn’t know what I was saying and doing.”
“Nor did I,” said Flanders.
Proffery said, “Youngers: 9; Elders: 0.”
“And now we have to kick off to them again,” said Gretchen.
“I think that I better let you kick this time,” said Flanders.
“Special teams rules are something about football that I never figured out,” confessed Gretchen.
“May we play better defense and offense than we do special teams, good girlfriend,” said
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Flanders.
And Flanders held the ball upward as it rested upon the ground, and Gretchen ran up and kicked it. She shanked it hard to the right, and it sailed out of bounds at midfield.
“I may not know special teams rules, Flanders, but I think that what I just did is another penalty for us,” said Gretchen.
“Illegal procedure penalty,” said Flanders. “Now they get the ball at their own forty-yard line.”
“Great field position, Master!” called forth Indomitable to Proffery.
“What was that that I just did?” asked Gretchen.
“They call it ‘a no-return situation,’” Flanders replied.
“You know your football,” she said.
“That I do. I know football,” he said.
“Too bad you don’t play it as well as you know it, Boyfriend,” said Gretchen.
Then Invincible called out in cheer for Flanders, “De-fense!”
And Majesty called out to Gretchen, “It isn’t over until it’s over, Mistress!”
And Proffery declared, “Our ball, on our forty-yard line, first down, and ten yards to go.”
“Is that good for us?” asked Destiny.
“We are winning,” Proffery told her.
“That’s a good thing for us Youngers,” said Destiny.
“That’s a bad thing for us Elders,” said Gretchen.
And the Youngers got into a huddle to pick out the next play. He said, “Let’s try a double-reverse.”
“I don’t know what a double-reverse is, but it doesn’t sound like it can be done with a team of only two players,” she said.
“Anything is possible if the talent is there,” he said. He then explained the rules for a double-
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reverse.
And Destiny said, “That sounds like a good way to end up going backwards instead of forwards.”
“Trust me,” he said. “A trick play like this will fool the Elders for sure.”
“I’ll try my best,” she said.
And they lined up. He was the center; she was the quarterback; she would be the runner going first in the one direction; he would be the runner going second in the other direction, with her handing the ball off to him in the double reverse.
“Hut!” she said.
And he snapped the ball to her and at once she ran toward the left, and he ran to the right, separating themselves in preparation for the hand-off. Then she ran back toward the right, and he ran back toward the left. And they met in the middle, and she handed off to him in the middle of this double-reverse. And instantly Gretchen reached out and tore his flag off of his side. And the play was done even before it started.
“I think these kind of plays work better with eleven players,” said Proffery.
“It sounds like a kind of improvised double-reverse that we just tried, Proffery,” said Destiny.
“And it did not work.”
“We lost twenty yards,” he said.
“Second down and thirty yards to go, Brother,” said Flanders in gloating.
“I was right. Wasn’t I?” asked Destiny.
“My basketball cheerleader girlfriend was right about football, and I was wrong about football,” said Proffery.
“The younger Fabled Girl is no dummy,” said Destiny Varsity in manifest verity.
“Maybe you should call this next play,” said Proffery.
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“What should I say?” she asked.
“Make up something creative,” said Proffery.
“I know lots about cheer leading,” she said.
“Work with that,” he said.
Highness called out to her, “Come up with something good again, Mistress!”
And in the huddle, Destiny suggested that they do a run up the middle. She would be the running back. And she would performs pirouettes (as cheerleaders often do in the sidelines) as she ran up the middle.
“You’ll be an easy one to tackle, doing that,” said Proffery.
“But this is flag football,” she reminded him. “It won’t be so easy tearing off one of my flags if I spin around like that.”
“Good, Destiny! Good thinking,” he said to her. “I’ll block for you.”
He was the center; she was the quarterback; and this was a type of quarterback sneak to be attempted by the Youngers here in this basic and unofficial football game. She said, “Hut,” and he snapped her the ball, and he ran forward to block, and she ran forward behind him. Behold, Flanders pushed Proffery back into Destiny. And Proffery tripped over his own feet and fell down, and Flanders tripped over the fallen Proffery and fell down himself. That left Destiny facing now only Gretchen. And Destiny performed a triple pirouette to evade Gretchen’s reaching hands. And Gretchen tried to grab at those two flags at Destiny’s hips, but she kept missing as the runner did her three spins. Then Destiny took off running, free and with nothing between her and the opposite end zone. And as she ran she felt her hips to make sure that her two flags were not really already pulled off. And they were both there. But this hesitation allowed Flanders to catch her, and he reached for a flag and pulled it off of her. She was officially “tackled.”
Holding up this flag before all, Flanders said, “’Tackled from behind!”
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“Great hustle, Master!” called forth his Invincible.
“First down, Mistress!” cheered her Highness.
And Flanders declared, “First down and goal to go on the Elders’ ten-yard line for the Youngers.”
“Good job, Girlfriend,” said Proffery.
“I think that I am getting the hang of football,” said Destiny.
They huddled up for the next play. He said, “Let’s try a pass from me to you to the corner of the end zone.”
“There are four corners to our end zone,” she said. “Which corner shall I run to?”
“Girlfriend, when football guys refer to the ‘corner of the end zone,’ they refer to the two back corners,” instructed Proffery.
“Oh,” said Destiny.
“Go for a pass in the back left corner of their end zone,” he said.
“If it is we who are trying to get into the end zone, shouldn’t it be called ‘our end zone’ and not ‘their end zone,’ Proffery?” asked Destiny.
“It is called ‘their end zone,’ because they are the ones who are defending it,” explained Proffery.
“Oh,” said Destiny.
And Highness called forth in cheer to Destiny, “Go for a touchdown, Mistress!”
And Indomitable called forth to Proffery, “”Put the game out of reach from the Elders, Master!”
And the Elders and the Youngers lined up for another play. And Destiny snapped the ball to Proffery and ran back for a pass into the end zone. Proffery backpedaled and prepared to throw. But both Flanders and Gretchen had Destiny covered with tight coverage, two on one. And in improvisation, Proffery tucked the ball against himself and ran forward with utmost speed downfield.
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And he broke the plane of the goal line in the middle, just as Gretchen reached outward and tore off his flag. The flag lay now in the field of play. Proffery was standing in the end zone, the football held up in victory. All four decided from these two things that it was a touchdown for the Youngers.
Flanders asked, “What has come to football, Gretchen? The Elders are behind the Youngers now with a score of 0 to 15.”
“And it looks like after the next play is done, that it will be 0 for us and 16 for them,” concurred
Gretchen.
“Why is that, Big Sister?” asked Destiny.
“The extra point,” said Gretchen.
“Oh yeah,” said Destiny. “Like what I did a little while ago.”
The Youngers got into another huddle. And Destiny said, “Would you kick the extra point this time, Boyfriend? I think that I broke a nail on my big toe with that last extra point I did.”
“You broke a nail on your big toe?” Proffery asked.
“We young women want to take good care of our nails—both on our fingers and on our toes,” Destiny said.
“Okay,” Proffery said. “I shall kick.”
And she went into the back of the middle of the end zone and made herself the goal post, raising her arms thus. And Proffery punted the ball, and it sailed right through her raised arms above her head and right in the middle.
“What an extra point, Master!” called forth his Indomitable.
“Great goal post you made, Mistress!” called forth Highness to Destiny.
Flanders said the score as it stood right now, “The Elders: 0; the Youngers: 16.”
“Just like I said,” said Gretchen.
Majesty called forth in cheer to Gretchen, “Get on the board, Mistress.”
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And Invincible called forth words of rally to Flanders, “Don’t settle for a shutout, Master.”
Now the Youngers lined up for a kickoff to the Elders. Highness called forth to Destiny, “Special teams is the key, Mistress. Play good special teams, and you will win.”
And Indomitable called forth to Proffery, “No, it is all in the trenches where the game is won or lost, O Master.”
And as Destiny held the ball upward upon the ground, Proffery kicked it the length of the field.
Flanders received the kickoff on the run, and he ran like lightning downfield. But as he ran, though he held the ball tight against his side with his right hand, his left hand accidentally bumped the flag along his left side, quite knocking if off of his person. He hesitated and thought to pick it up, but instead chose to continue running. And as he dodged and weaved both of the Youngers reached for him to tear off a flag. But he was running in such a way that, to his own good fortune, only his left side was facing them. And the Youngers could only try to pull off a flag that was no longer there. This flag was lying unintentionally back upon the field now, forgotten and left behind. Finding this out, the Youngers tried to get to Flanders’s right side to pull off the flag that was still there on his person. But by then he was already into the end zone.
“I never saw such a thing happen in flag football before,” said Proffery.
“What should we do?” asked Destiny.
“Flanders, is that little accident still considered a penalty?” asked Gretchen.
“Now that I think about what I did, I messed up,” said Flanders.
“What happens when a runner loses his own flag without anybody having torn off that flag?” asked Proffery.
“According to flag football, the play is dead right there where the flag fell,” said Flanders,
“So the flag falling off counts as a tackle,” said Proffery.
“It is us Elders’ ball back there where my flag still is,” said Flanders.
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As the four marched back to the flag with the football, Destiny spoke and said, “I wonder if flag football rules might be different from regular football rules even in penalties where the flag is not involved.”
“Yeah, Little Sister,” said Gretchen. “I know what you mean.”
“What are you saying, O Destiny?” asked the two men.
“I wonder if we are playing this game here today part of the time with the N.F.L. rules and part of the time with flag football rules,” suggested Destiny.
“This game is kind of fishy,” said Gretchen. “It is like we are playing regular football unless the flag comes into question—then we play flag football rules.”
“My officiating may be in error,” confessed Flanders in understanding.
“Either way, if the rules are crazy and wild, surely all the more so are our plays,” confessed Proffery.
Then Majesty spoke from the sidelines and said, “Let the game go on.”
And Invincible said also, “If the rules are all wrong, just think how the execution is all the more wrong.”
And Highness said his part, “No game is perfect—not football; not flag football.”
And Indomitable said in like, “Who cares? We eight are having fun—you four who are playing; and we four who are watching.”
And the four players all nodded in ready agreement and accord. And the game continued on.
And when the game came to an end, the final score was thirty points for the Youngers and twenty points for the Elders.
Then to finish today’s fellowship of eight for the day out back here behind the new house of the Fabled Girls, the cheerleaders put on a show for their six fans here in their backyard, complete with cheers and chants and pom poms and all manner of dance.
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Then they came. They came with the noise of Hell. They came with a great shadow. They came with the smell of sulfur. They came with all manner of colors. They came en masse. And they came to put down all good. They came for the original Bibles. Behold, all of the dragons of the Dragon of Dragons now converging upon this spot in the world where the eight soldiers of Christ had just finished today’s fellowship. Their Great Red Dragon was not with them here.
Outnumbered like never before or could ever be again, Flanders Nickels said to his seven allies, “It is written, ‘Be still, and know that I am God:…’ Psalm 46:10.”
Following through, Proffery Coins said, “It is written, ‘…, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord,…’ Exodus 14:13.”
In equal faith, the elder Fabled Girl spoke and said, “It is written, ‘…For they that be with us are more than they that be with them.’ II Kings 6:16.”
And the younger Fabled Girl went on to say herself, “It is written, “…: for there be more with us than with him.’ II Chronicles 32:7.”
“Praise God Almighty!” said Majesty.
“Glory to God!” said Highness.
“”Hallelujah!” said Invincible.
“Alleluia!” said Indomitable.
The eight dragon slayers in great and wise faith knew that God was going to fight this battle for them. They would not need to fight this battle. They without God could not win. But God without them could not lose.
The eight watched and waited upon God as the hosts of dragons lighted upon the ground all around them such that the whole countryside was filled with them like unto ancient locust plagues.
Behold, a heavenly host of hosts of angels coming down now from Above. And mortals and demons alike watched as this innumerable phalanx also began to light upon the ground. The mortals
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blessed God. The demons cursed God. And after a long while, all of the angels of the Lord then also filled up the ground like unto a fierce hailstorm dropping down upon the Earth. Good angels, evil angels, fellow-shippers-in-Christ, all wondered upon God’s next move.
Then a formidable good angel of God stepped forward, and he spoke to the hierarchy of the dragons, saying, “I am Gabriel, and I say unto you from the words of Isaiah 14:24 about our coming Lord: ‘The Lord of hosts hath sworn, saying, Surely as I have thought, so shall it come to pass; and as I have purposed, so shall it stand.’” Then he stepped back to join his fellow angels.
Then a redoubtable good angel stepped forward, and he said his words to the dragons of the world, “I am Michael, and I say unto you the words of Isaiah 14:27 about the Lord’s coming: ‘For the Lord of hosts hath purposed, and who shall disannul it? And his hand is stretched out, and who shall turn it back?’” Then he, too, stepped back to rejoin the good angels.
Then, as the fellow shippers beheld, all of the good angels at once began to fly back up to Heaven, being summoned by Jesus.
What was Christ going to do about the Fabled Girls’ original Holy Bibles there in their house in their bedroom’s two closets with all of the Dragon of Dragon’s dragons gathered together right here to burn them up with fire?
Lo, the Lord Jesus now came down from Heaven Above. He was alone. And He was in all of
His divine regal glory as He stood there. He put himself between the dragons and the house. And He called forth, “All dragons here and there and everywhere else, hear Me.” And they bowed their demonic heads before Him and were forced to listen to the rebuke from God. And the living Word of God spoke the written Word of God with power never before seen in all the universe since the creation week of six days at the origins of time. Christ said to the demons of the Devil the words of Matthew 25:41: “…, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels.”
Behold, hundreds of volcanoes suddenly arose up from the Earth here in this countryside, and all of
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the dragons at once began to ascend above the ground and then found themselves forced to descend down into the volcanoes. Tens and hundreds and thousands and more—all dragons of all colors—found themselves thus overpowered by Jesus and found themselves being cast down to Hell beneath these volcanoes. After a long while, Christ’s work was done. There were no more dragons here in the vast countryside of the house where once the land had been filled. Then the volcanoes crashed down upon themselves, disappearing into the depths and making the land flat once again.
Where all had been malevolence and malignity all about, Jesus had now made benevolence and benignity all about. He looked upon His good and faithful eight dragon-slayers. The dragon-slayers knelt down before Him. And Christ said to them, “Well done, you good and faithful servants. You eight have most gloriously and righteously and triumphantly protected My first Holy Bible. Great is your reward in Heaven.”
Then, in humbleness and humility, the Fabled Girls spoke to God. Gretchen said, “Lord, You have given me the ancient Old Testament. We eight have kept it. And I now give it back to You.”
And in like Destiny said, “Lord, You have entrusted me with the ancient New Testament. It is still safe and sound in the ministry of us eight. I now give it back unto You.”
Then the Saviour of the world spoke and said, “Gretchen, Destiny, Flanders, Proffery, Majesty, Highness, Invincible, Indomitable, I now say unto you My words of Matthew 25:34, ‘Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:’”
And a rapture of eight took place here in the backyard of the Fabled Girls.
Behold God’s judgment upon the Great Red Dragon: Out in this Devil’s land of the Dread Isle Doom stood a devastated tower, once great and mighty and like no other edifice. A volcano had come up from the ground right underneath this structure’s base. And it grew bigger even than the Tower. And it overpowered the Tower. And right now, the Dragon of Dragons was being overwhelmed by the Lord from afar, and he found himself futilely fighting God Himself. And he was being cast into
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this biggest of volcanoes. And the last thing that could be seen of the Dragon of Dragons was his big red tail above this volcano’s mouth before he got thrown all the way down into Hell beneath this island.
Right after this, the volcano wrought of the Lord crumbled down to the flat ground, taking the Tower all the way down with it, thus sealing the Great Red Dragon in the bottomless pit of fire and brimstone for ever and ever.
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CHAPTER XX
The eight former dragon-slayers were alone now with Jesus in an Elysian Field in Heaven. They were walking and talking with Christ their Saviour. This Elysium was a beautiful pastoral meadow of endless horizons much like unto the land where they had come from in northern Wisconsin. The grass was tall field grass, four feet high, bent slightly in a gentle zephyr. Grasshoppers were leaping up and down in the stalks. And Robins and Red-Winged Blackbirds and Blue Jays were singing their songs in this meadow in Heaven. To the right, a family of white-tailed deer—a buck and a doe and five fawns—walked by not far away, not afraid of man in this Paradise. And to the left a black bear and her cubs were playing in this Heaven of no curse upon nature. Jesus was the Light of this World. There was no sun in the skies of Heaven. Neither were there a moon and stars and night’s darkness in these skies of Heaven. Day never gave way to night in this Elysian Meadow.
Gretchen spoke and said, “This is a most blessed Place, Lord. I had thought back in life before Here that I were truly at my happiest when I was reading my Bible and studying it. But this being with
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You like this is even better. In my Bible studies You spoke to me in the silence of reading. But here You speak to me with Your own voice, which is truly as the sound of many waters. The Apostle Paul was so right when he said in Philippians 1:23, ‘…, and to be with Christ; which is far better:’ Indeed hearing Your Words is even better than reading Your Words, O Good Lord.”
“My daughter, great was and is and will be your love for the Word of God,” praised Jesus Gretchen.
Then Destiny spoke unto Christ and did say, “I love being Here, Lord. It is a holy Place of utter peace. And You are my own Prince of Peace. I used to think that my most peaceful place was my bedroom where I got alone with you and did my prayers. I loved to talk my thoughts to you from my prayer site to You up on Your throne. But now that I am in Heaven, I can see the God to Whom I speak. I can see the kindness in Your eyes as I talk. I can see a very Incarnation of peace as I speak to You.
In II Corinthians 5:8 You had Paul the Apostle to write, ‘…, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.’ I can see this now by sight even more than I had by faith. It is better to be talking to You face-to-face than to be talking to You from afar from there to Here.”
“Good and Godly daughter of Mine, as you have prayed in great effectual fervency in your old life, so much more shall you do so here with Me in this life to come that has now come upon you,” said the Lord Jesus.
Then Flanders spoke his thoughts Up Here with the God of Heaven. “I used to love going to my Baptist church in my days on Earth. I and my brothers-and-sisters-in-You gathered together in corporate worship, sang the hymns, heard the Word preached, obeyed the Word preached, chatted in the joys of fellowship, and did share You among ourselves as only spiritual believers can do. There were a bunch of us at Fellowship Baptist Church, and they are all Here as well in this Heaven. But Up Here, there are, as Revelation chapter five puts it, ‘ten thousand times ten thousand, thousands of thousands.’
who worship You—and that includes all of the resurrected and raptured saints and all of the angels.
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What a church that You have in Heaven, Lord. It is most duly written in Revelation 14:13 about this eternal life in Heaven, ‘…: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them.’”
“My special son, as you loved fellowship among few, so you now love fellowship among many,” said Jesus. “The focus of fellowship is Myself. And that you do remember both before and now and forever.”
Then Proffery spoke to God next. And he said, “Lord, nothing is more glorious on Earth than a soul-winner leading a lost sheep to the Shepherd. Because of You, I have won many to salvation. I had sheets of yellow ruled notebook paper that chronicled my witness life wherein were the names of the people whom I led to Christ, and the dates of when they did thus get saved. I had seen this list as ‘the only thing that I could take to Heaven with me.’ That is, those were the names of the people who would come with me to Heaven when their times came. And they are here with the rest of us believers in Glory right now. You saved them from Hell, Good Lord Jesus, and You used me to have a part in their so great salvation. I can see now just what Psalm 16:11 was all about when it said about Heaven Here, ‘Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.’”
Then Jesus said to Proffery, “My good son, your zeal and burden and work for the souls of men and women and children has earned you a crown of rejoicing. You have indeed won very many to me—thirty-fold, sixty-fold, a hundredfold. Indeed more. I had died for lost souls. And you had lived for lost souls.”
Then Majesty spoke to the Saviour, “Lord Jesus, You had blessed me with a wonderful mistress and with Your Goodness. You gave me survival in a world of dragons. And now I see a World where there are no dragons. I thank You for letting a he-unicorn like myself see this come to pass.”
And Jesus said, “Good and gallant Majesty, your works have preceded you into this Heaven.
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Great was your courage in the old world of darkness. Now you shall do battle no longer.”
Then Highness spoke to God Here in this Elysian Field of countryside, “My Creator, ‘Thank You for my own mistress,’ I do say as well. A he-griffin like myself would be lonely without one such as Destiny to call his own. I was once a dragon-slayer. Now I am a griffin of peace. Thank You for safety in the battles. And thank You for taking away all of the dragons.”
And Jesus said to him, ‘As you fought for me, so, now, will you rest with me. Your work has earned you eternal rewards. Take heart, good griffin, the wars are done.”
Then Invincible spoke and said, “I do thank You for my master, O Saviour. He has loved me all the years of our life together. And now I can thrive on his love for me all of our years together in eternity Here. Thank You for having taken me away from the world of dragons.”
And Jesus said, “Valorous she-unicorn, you have taken on demons and have prevailed in Me.
A good Christian soldier is worthy of her reward. Enjoy your own eternity in Heaven where there are no evil dragons to slay.”
Lastly, Indomitable addressed the Saviour of the world, “Blessed Redeemer, thank You for letting me to serve You along the side of my master in dragon-slaying. No higher calling have You delegated to your servants than fighting dragons. Thank You for giving me my kind and caring master.
And thank You that he loves me just as much as I love him.”
And Christ Jesus said, “So gallant and noble she-griffin, your old life of wars and battles I now compensate for with a new life of tranquility and rest. I have destroyed all of the dragons, and I have destroyed the Dragon of Dragons. They are no more—on Earth as it is in Heaven.”
Then the Fabled Girls asked, “Our Bibles, good Jesus. What has become of them?”
“The scrolls and the parchments,” said the Fabled Girls’ two boyfriends.
“I have caught them up to Heaven, just as I had yourselves,” said Jesus in good comforts.
“And what about our regular Bibles?” asked the Fabled Girls.
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“Our own King James Bibles that we four had all been studying from,” said the two boyfriends of the Fabled Girls.
“Here is the repository of only King James Bibles,” said Jesus in encouragement about Heaven.
“The Good Book,” said Highness.
“One perfect Book,” said Majesty.
“Two testaments,” said Invincible.
“And sixty-six books,” said Indomitable.
“Lord Jesus, how many chapters does the Holy Bible have?” asked Gretchen.
And Jesus said, “The King James Bible is comprised of 1,187 chapters.”
“Then how many verses are there in our Bibles, Lord?” asked Flanders.
“The King James Bible has 31,173 verses,” said Jesus.
Then Destiny asked God, “How about words? How many words does our K.J.V. Bible have in it?”
And Christ told them, “My Good Book has 773,692 words to it.”
And Proffery said, “There must be million letters that make up the Bible. How many letters are there in our Holy Bibles, Lord?”
And Christ Jesus said, “There are 3,566,480 letters in my Authorized King James Bible that I have written therein.”
“I am so glad that the Bible is a big book,” said Destiny.
And Gretchen did say, “Whether a big Book or a medium Book or a small Book, the Bible that You chose to make for us would still be a perfect Book, Lord.” Then she said, “But I am still glad that it is not a little Book.”
“It is a perfect Book in its present from, and it is a perfect Book in its original form,” said Jesus to the eight of God.
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“It is so good to have the perfect English language Bible in the King James, Lord,” said Destiny.
“But could I see the perfect Greek New Testament that I used to have once again, O Saviour?”
“I am blessed with the King James of these days, but I do miss my old Hebrew Old Testament, Jesus,” said Gretchen. “Could I see that which I used to have at home again?”
“Most worthy and apt and commendable is the request that I have received from the Fabled Girls this moment,” said Jesus. “Of course you can see them once again.”
“Where are those original documents now that we are all in Heaven, Lord?” asked Flanders.
And Proffery said, “We men would love to see them once again, too,”
And Jesus said, “They are in the Temple of the Word right now. And as I grant the Fabled Girls all access to them, so, too, do I grant the same to you two renowned sword fighters.”
“How about we unicorns, O Lord?” asked Majesty.
“And we griffins, too, if we could,” said Highness.
“How can I turn down such a petition from you four most honorable creations?” asked Jesus of Majesty and Invincible and Highness and Indomitable. “You four are welcome anywhere in Heaven just as your keepers are welcome anywhere in Heaven.”
“The Temple of the Word,” said Gretchen. “Where is that?”
“We are yet new Here in Heaven,” said Destiny.
“We have many wonders that we have not found yet in Heaven,” said Proffery.
“And we have found many wonders Here already,” said Flanders.
And Jesus said, “The Temple of the Word is in the center of infinite Heaven.”
In rumination, Majesty said, “If something is in the middle of infinity, how can we ever get there?”
“My good unicorn,” said Jesus, “you good and wise pets also have many wonders that you will soon find out about Up Here.”
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Contemplating, Flanders went on to say, “If our all-powerful God had raptured all eight of us from far away in Earth to Here, this Paradise that is beyond the farthest star, and did such a thing in less time than a wink of an eye, surely it will be easy for that same God with us now to bring us from here in Heaven to the middle of Heaven just as easily and just as quickly in Heaven’s infiniteness as it is.”
And Proffery said, “Our very own Creator is also Heaven’s very own Creator.”
“One can almost say that here with You, Lord, far is near and there is here,” said Destiny about travel in Heaven as she saw it now.
“Are you going to rapture us there in a forward type of translation instead of an upward type of translation?” asked Gretchen in great wonders of Christ Jesus.
“You could call it ‘tele-transportation,’” said God Almighty. “I will tele-transport you eight with Me to the center of Heaven, where your manuscripts await you.”
The Fabled Girls nodded their heads in eagerness. The boyfriends said, “Amen!” The pets lifted their forelegs off the ground and set them back down again in ready assent.
And suddenly they were there with Jesus in the midpoint of Heaven—indeed Heaven’s center in height and in width and in length. There stood a towering skyscraper reaching the clouds. It was made of yellow brick and mortar and all full of windows. The eight standing with Jesus bent their heads back to look up at its top from where they stood. Flanders said, “I count sixty-eight stories.”
“Nothing that big was made by mankind in our Earth,” said Proffery.
Destiny said, “I think that I see a basement.”
And Gretchen asked, “Does this have a basement, Lord?”
And Jesus said, “It has four floors of basements.”
The eight looked upon the sign to this towering structure. The sign was upon a special dais of big logs stacked together like unto a log cabin, stood ten feet high above their heads, and was wrought of pure sterling silver with all big capital letters of pure sterling gold reading, “THE TEMPLE OF THE
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WORD.” It stood between them and the great building. Behind this sign was a first floor front wall a thousand feet wide all full of entrance doors and exit doors from one side to the other side. Believers and angels were going in and coming out in great numbers through all of these doors. And these doors were all solid and varnished mahogany with bronze pull handles and bronze hinges and bronze plates.
Flanders asked, “This temple is not a temple of worship so much as it is a temple of testimony. Isn’t it, Lord?”
“It looks like it is a temple of dedication,” said Proffery.
And Jesus said, “This Temple of the Word is a museum that honors and glorifies the Holy Bible.”
“What a museum!” exclaimed Gretchen.
“They don’t make museums like this back where we came from,” said Destiny.
Jesus went on to explain: “In the basement and its four floors, lives Melchizedek, a type of Christ from the Old Testament. He is the curator of this Temple of the Word. On the first floor is the official lobby of the Temple of the Word. Then the next sixty-six floors are the official museum of the Holy Bible. Each successive floor, as one goes up, is dedicated to one book of the sixty-six books that make up the canon of Scripture in the order that they do appear in the Bible. That is, the second floor is the floor for Genesis, the first book of the Bible. The third floor is the floor for Exodus, the second book of the Bible. And so on, up to the sixty-seventh floor, the floor for the sixty-sixth book of the Bible, which is Revelation. In each floor are displays and drawers and cabinets and tables and benches and all manner of testimony to that floor’s book in the Bible. And in each of the sixty-six floors of the sixty-six books are a special ‘vision room,’ where actual historical events mentioned in these books take place before you like unto a dream given by My Father, presented in authentic video and audio and virtual reality. The curator and his many workers go around from room to room and from floor to floor making changes in the presentation of the Bible just as museum curators and their workers do in
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museums down on Earth in their earthly presentations.”
“Who owns this Temple of the Word?” asked Gretchen, sincerely curious.
“You shouldn’t ask such a question,” said Destiny.
“That is an honest question,” said Jesus. “I own the Temple of the Word.”
Who better than the living Word to own the museum of the written Word?
All eight with Jesus gave a collective hearty, “Amen!”
Then Destiny asked, “What is on the sixty-eighth floor, Jesus?”
“Yeah. What’s on the top?” asked Gretchen.
“Where are the original manuscripts?” asked Flanders.
“Is that where they are?” asked Proffery, pointing to the pinnacle of Heaven’s skyscraper before them.
Jesus said, “That is where they are.”
“Does that floor have a name?” asked Gretchen.
“That floor consists of one extra large room,” said Jesus.
“Does that room have a name?” asked Destiny.
“It is called, ‘The Room of the Word,’” declared Jesus.
“The Room of the Word,” said the eight before Jesus now, tasting its sanctified words in their ears.
“Does the general public like us have access to actually go there and see what is in there?” asked Flanders.
“All who are in Heaven have access to it,” said Jesus. “But you eight foremost above all.”
“Big Sister,” said Destiny. “I wonder what they look like now.”
And Gretchen said, “Probably even better Up Here than they did even in our holy closets, Little Sister,”
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Christ Jesus said, “I have commissioned my Melchizedek to take the greatest care of that sixty-eighth floor above all the care that he takes of the lower sixty-seven floors.”
“Saviour, could we Fabled Girls go first to the sixty-eighth floor?” asked Destiny.
“We twin cheerleaders want to see that floor first of all,” said Gretchen.
“And we boyfriends want to go there most of all of the places inside this museum.” said Flanders.
And Proffery said, “That is where I want to go mostly myself,”
“And I, too, if I could,” said Indomitable.
“That goes for me, also,” said Invincible.
“I, as well.” spoke up Majesty.
“Count me in, Lord,” said Highness his part.
“Then to the Room of the Word we eight shall go directly,” said the Lord Jesus. “Do follow God.”
And the Lord led them into the Temple of the Word. Once inside the lobby they saw a veritable miniature Marriage Supper of the Lamb, a little microcosm of that grand banquet in Heaven that was soon to come for all believers and their Saviour Here. Grilled out meats and all manner of pizzas and horns of plenty of all types of fruit and tables of chocolates and shelves of cream soups and many other foods abounded in this lobby free for all who wanted to partake. And for drinks were counters full of juices and nectars and hot teas and iced teas and coffees and cappuccinos and cocoas and malts and shakes and frappés, also free for the visitors to this museum. Jesus went on to tell them, “Melchisedec’s cooks are gourmets and chefs. If you wish to stop and eat and drink in this lobby right now, you may.”
But all eight shook their heads and requested to be led right to the Room of the Word without eating or drinking. And they all said this despite their own hunger and thirst. They each esteemed
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their Word of God more than they did their necessary food and drink. And the Lord Jesus led them unto a spiraling staircase of Maple steps and brass banisters and much climbing ivy. The width of these steps was broad, allowing eight climbers to stand side-by-side in each stair. Jesus said unto them, “It is a thousand steps to the Room of the Word.”
But they all nodded their heads and said to the Lord, “Amen!” No work or effort was too much to ask of them in order that they might see those old Bibles once again. And they climbed the winding staircase up sixty-seven floors.
And at the top was a solid door of Lignum Vitae and with platinum hinges and a platinum pull handle and a platinum plate reading in cursive letters, “The Room of the Word.” Jesus pulled open this door, and they beheld a most holy shrine in the most holy Heaven. Within was a room enlightened by many rainbows. The rainbows were not each all the colors of the spectrum. Rather, these rainbows were all solid colors each, collectively aggregating all the colors of the spectrum in one whole phenomenon. And there was the sound of a creek. They all looked, and, behold, a channel of flowing waters flowing across this Room of the Word right down the middle. It began from the west and ended to the east, just as weather did back in the world of before. This channel was five feet wide and three feet deep, and its waters were waters of life. A wooden footbridge of Oak platform and Oak rails and Oak rafters offered access across this channel, this bridge formed in an arc. Behold, John the Baptist coming across this bridge from the other side. Many Bible students and Bible scholars regarded him as the greatest man other than Jesus in all of the New Testament. John the Baptist then went on and said to the eight collectively the prophecy of Isaiah 40:3 in paraphrase, “Mine was the voice of him that cried in the wilderness, ‘Prepare ye the way of the Lord, make straight in the desert a highway for our God.’”
“I believe,” said the eight.
And a voice from above Heaven called down, declaring, “This Jesus is the Christ, My only
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begotten Son, in Whom I am well-pleased.”
“I believe,” said the eight. Then John the Baptist went ahead and baptized the eight individually in the flowing channel. After that he walked back across the footbridge unto the other bank. Then Jesus led His eight across the footbridge and over the channel and into the opposite side.
Behold, the Shechinah Glory of the Lord!
The Holy Spirit spoke now in His still small voice, “It is written, ‘For ever, O Lord, thy word is settled in Heaven.’ Psalm 119:89.”
“I believe,” said the eight.
Behold, the refuge of refuges and the sacred of sacreds and the sanctuary of sanctuaries! There before them now was the type of Alpha and Omega and beginning and ending and first and last! Lo, God’s first Bible and God’s final Bible!
They saw two roll top desks side by side with two chairs before each. The set on the left was bigger than the one on the right. The desk and the chairs on the left were made of a dark wood called
“Teak.” The desk and the chairs on the right were made of a light wood called “Hickory.” The two roll-top desks were at this moment shut.
The eight pined in longing to open them up and to read the Word of God. And the Lord Jesus read their thoughts. Who could sit down at these Heavenly desks and open them up and read from them first among this group of eight?
And Jesus said to them, “I elect you Fabled Girls first to sit down and read therefrom That which is upon the desk to the left. And I elect you sword fighters first to sit down and read therefrom That which is upon the desk to the right.”
Gretchen and Destiny thereby sat down at their desk and together opened up the roll top. Amen! Therein were their first testaments that they had kept for God in their ministry of ago. The cheerleaders at once gently and carefully began to pore over these manuscripts of parchments and these
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manuscripts of scrolls with all of their hearts. “Thank You, most blessed Redeemer,” the Fabled Girls
said to the Good Lord Jesus. Their pets Majesty and Highness stood beside their mistresses and read from these original manuscripts from where they stood.
And Flanders and Proffery in like also sat down at their desk and opened the roll top and saw the King James Bible in a black hardcover and with silver-colored page edges and with silver letters upon the spine and upon the cover. “Yes! Yes, O Lord!” praised the men in prayer to Jesus here with them. And they opened this Good Book and read together beginning at Genesis 1:1: “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.” And their pets Invincible and Indomitable, at their keepers’ sides, also read as they read, from where they were standing.
And Jesus said to them, “Is it not written, my good soldiers-of-the-cross, ‘Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O Lord God of hosts.’ Jeremiah 15:16.”
“Amen!” said Gretchen.
“Amen!” said Destiny.
“Amen!” said Flanders.
“Amen!” said Proffery.
“Amen!” said Majesty.
“Amen!” said Highness.
“Amen!” said Invincible.
“Amen!” said Indomitable.
“For ago and for now and for anon,” said the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
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