Flanders Nickels, not born again, falls for a picture of a one-piece swimsuit woman in a store ad in the newspaper. He affectionately calls her ‘Venus.’ This same maillot model, herself born again, discovers this man in a college yearbook. Her name is ‘Cynthia Marilyn Berger.’ Neither knows that the other has a crush on him or her. God brings them together so that she can tell him about Jesus the Saviour. Lo, a terrible little urchin named ‘Sylvia.’ a persecutor of Christians, comes and seeks to keep this Flanders from turning to Christ.
THE JOHANNINE EPISTLE GIRL
By Mr. Morgan P. McCarthy
He was twenty-four-years old, and it was 1985, and he was enjoying looking at the one-piece swimsuit girl picture and listening to the song “Venus” by Frankie Avalon on his record player. This picture was taped on his bedroom wall, and he affectionately called her “Venus.” This was a picture of a swimsuit model from the department store ads in the Sunday newspaper. In women’s swimwear season he always checked out the newspapers for clothing store ads that often advertised its swimsuits. And he almost always found a good one-piece swimsuit girl picture in these ads. Such ads were not in the paper in northern Wisconsin in the winter time of the year. So, up here, only in the warm season were such maillot ads available. And he had come to find out that often times, to usher in swimwear season, a particular store may put in the newspaper a whole pull-out section of some pages of swimsuit styles in preparation for summer and its shoppers. And his Venus was from one of them just the other day, and she became his favorite of that pull-out ad that he found. She was a most attractive swimsuit model. Her face was made up, but she still was the prettiest maillot girl he had seen yet in such ads.
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Her hair was short and straight and brown. Her eyes were a living blue. And her smile won his heart.
Her one-piece swimsuit was reddish-pink. It had shoulder straps that accentuated her pretty collarbones. Her long arms were bare and feminine and hung down straight along both of her sides. One part of the maillot over one cup crossed also over across the other cup. He knew such a one-piece swimsuit to be called “a surplice one-piece swimsuit.” And she curved along both her left side and her right side. And her legs had attractive thin thighs. The photograph ended at her knees. This maillot girl picture was nearly as tall and as wide as a folded-out newspaper page. The song then ended on the record player. And he took red magic marker and blank typing paper to make two extra signs to commemorate this girl.. And he taped them on the wall, one above the swimsuit model, and one below the swimsuit model. Above, the sign read in all capital letters, “VENUS.” Below, the sign read in regular capital letters, “The Queen of Sex.” Having done this, he began to daydream about writing a story about this Venus for his first time. It would be a long time before he would take down this one-piece swimsuit girl picture. Other one-piece swimsuit girl pictures would come to and go from these bedroom walls before he would take her down, so captivating were this Venus. He now declared her “my maillot girl of maillot girls.” And he played her song on the record player once again.
The next day, his mom came into his room, and she saw his “Queen of Sex” on the wall, and she said a most delightful comment, saying to him, “She’s too tall for you.”
And his big brother visited the house one day, and he saw this Venus, and he asked him, “Who’s the gal?” the gal’s admirer did not know.
His big sister came over one day, and she read the girl’s official title beneath, and she got a big kick out of it.
And he sought to sit down and write a story about her with pencil and paper.
His name was Flanders Nickels. And he did not know Christ the Saviour of the world.
Meanwhile, a young woman from out of town was at the Brown County Library, looking upon
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local school yearbooks in the local history and genealogy room upstairs. Her work brought her to Green Bay on business. And she happened to find time to check out this city’s library to satisfy her desire for books. And she found this most interesting room where she was now. And now she had a 1980-1981 St. Norbert College yearbook opened up before her. Then she found a short little man in the yearbook pictures. It was a group picture of the residents of the second floor of Burke Hall dormitory. This little guy seemed not to belong to this group. He looked lost and without hope. A Christian guy would not belong to a liberal arts Catholic college like this one. But this guy looked not to be a Christian. She could see no joy of the Lord in his face. And this guy looked not to belong to this college, even without himself being a believer. He seemed to belong nowhere. She searched his name. And she saw the name, “Flanders Nickels.” His mustache was just beginning. And his beard was on its way to becoming a goatee in time to come when it filled out. And he had an overbite. He could be cute if he were a born-again believer with Jesus in his life. But without God, he looked unhappy. She must tell him about Jesus. This Flanders had a soul that Jesus died for. Christ loved this man. And she could get to like this man. He had to truly be enticingly eccentric. She could make him a happy eccentric if she could lead him to Christ. So many people out there living their lives unsatisfied and dying in their sins and going to Hell. She wanted this Flanders Nickels to not be one of them. She could feel the Holy Spirit telling her to go after the man and tell him about Christ. Where could she go? How could she find him? Where was he now? This picture was five years ago. This young lady was a born-again believer with a burden for lost souls. The Holy Spirit told her now, “Do not go for it all at once. I will guide you in your work for his soul slowly and steadily. He holds Jesus in contempt. You must witness to him in My time and in My way. First a post card. Second, a letter of testimony. Third, a maillot. Fourth, a virtual woman. Fifth, a phone call. Sixth, you in your person. Above all, refer to the Johannine epistles.” This young Christian lady knew what the “Johannine epistles” were.
They were the epistles written by John the Apostle–the book of I John and the book of II John and the
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book of III John. She prayed in this room in the library, and the Lord told her to stay in this small city and witness to this man and not go back to her big city for a while.
This lady was Flanders’s mysterious maillot girl “Venus.” Her real name was “Cynthia Marilyn Berger.” And she knew and worshipped and loved her personal Saviour Christ Jesus. And she now had a burden for the soul of this mysterious loner Flanders Nickels.
That day, Flanders got a letter from his best friend, a Christian, wherein this best friend simply closed the happy letter with the words, “In Christ, Proffery.” And Flanders fumed and raged in indignation at this reference to Christ. He complained most hatefully, “Proffery might be my best friend, but it’s too bad for me that he is such a Christian! His girlfriend Jodi is pretty, but she would be a lot prettier if she were not a Christian, too. This world would be a better place if Christians didn’t say anything about that Christ.”
Unknown to Cynthia, she was to have her hands full in trying to win this man’s soul to Jesus.
The Holy Spirit told Miss Berger first to look for a postcard at the Christian bookstore and mail him this postcard with the Scripture passage I John 2:22-23 handwritten on it in pencil in cursive. Thinking it best to stay in this area of St. Norbert College, and praying that this lost man might still be around here, Cynthia moved into a historical De Pere landmark called the “Union Hotel.” She understood that St. Norbert College was across the river from here. And to her delight she found a little local library across the bridge in town here as well. And the post office was but a few blocks to the east of here and on this side of the bridge. And she began to research this man Flanders Nickels, to see if she could find his address. She checked phone books, zip code books, the internet, and she found that a Flanders Nickels lived on an East Mission Road, Green Bay, 54301, with his mom and dad and little brother. Checking further, she found out that he officially lived in the village of Allouez. And she found out that Allouez lay between east De Pere where she was and Green Bay. Studying more, she found out that Webster Avenue divided East Mission Road from West Mission Road. And she soon
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learned that where Flanders lived was at the top of the hill. Going east on this East Mission Road at the bottom of the hill was the East River. On the computer she even saw the mailbox and the number on the house and the front door of this house. This was the mailbox where God would have her to first introduce herself to him and to tell him about the Saviour with that postcard.. After this, she found out about a Christian Book Shoppe in Green Bay. And God said to her, “Go there.” And she drove there. She saw postcards with pictures of crosses and pictures of the Messiah and pictures of rising and setting suns and very many Bible verses. She chose one with a picture of an empty cross upon a hill with the moon shining down upon it from above. She bought it, brought it home, and wrote the prescribed Bible verses that God told her to write down. And she wrote it in dark soft number two lead in cursive. She wrote the following, “It is written, ‘Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son. Whosoever denieth the Son, the same hath not the Father: [but] he that acknowledgeth the Son hath the Father also.’ I John 2:22-23.” She then went on to proclaim the Gospel, also in handwritten pencil: “Flanders, I’ve got to tell you how the Son of God bled and died for my sins and on the third day rose back to life from the dead. He died on a cross like this on the postcard. And he arose from the grave in the rock. What Christ did for me, He also did for the whole world. And what Christ did for the whole world, He also did for you.” The Scripture and the Gospel and the mailing address and the return address and the stamp on one side of this postcard and the cross of crucifixion in the moonlight on the other side of the postcard, Cynthia Berger went to the post office and mailed it to Flanders. Now she must wait and see. And she must pray. What would come of this? Would he receive those verses from I John kindly? Would he get saved? Would he be thankful that she cared for his soul?
Behold, two postcards in her mailbox at the Union Hotel. One was hers that she had mailed to him, returned with a new stamp. The other was from Flanders, written with his own hand. It said, “To whom it may concern: I know Who the Father is. I reverence Him with utmost respect. But I do not
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know who the Son is. To me he is a misunderstood man in Heaven who is wringing his hands in dismay at how mankind made him God, when he is not God. He never meant to be worshipped as God the Father is meant to be worshipped. You Christians out there made a big mistake in what you made him out to be. Only the Father—the Highest Power—is God. And Him I worship directly—and not through this ‘Son of God.’ that you made up. I do believe that Christians go to Heaven; but when they get There, the Most High will not be glad to see them There, for what they believed about Jesus. Thank you for the postcard. But no thank you for the post card. I am returning it to you. I despise the cross with an offense. And I do not care for your Scripture. The only thing that I care about is one-piece swimsuit women. I go crazy over one-piece swimsuit women. By the way, do you have a one-piece swimsuit? I never had one. I wonder what it is like to have a one-piece swimsuit. I see them all the time in the ads in the newspapers and in all of the big department store Spring/Summer catalogs every year about this time. I have a whole desk drawer of maillot girl pictures in my room, all cut out carefully and arranged in piles. I like American flag patterns best. And I like Chevron-striped patterns second best. And I like solid patterns third best. Your post-card recipient, Flanders Nickels. P.S. You should see the maillot girl I have on my bedroom wall now!” This whole letter covered most of both sides of this postcard. There were no pictures on this post card. Cynthia marveled that he had not sent a postcard with a maillot girl on it. And Cynthia Berger, though treated rudely by this man, did laugh. This silly fellow had no idea that she was a professional maillot model whose pictures were out there. And here he thought that she did not have a one-piece swimsuit. Little did this odd guy know that she liked being a maillot woman even more than he liked maillot women. Yes, she had a one-piece swimsuit. She had hundreds of them. Yet, Cynthia Berger, the woman with a burden for his soul, did not know that her very most recent photo as a model was on his very wall right now in his room. This very Cynthia did not know that she was his very “Venus.” She was his secret “Queen of Sex.” Though his message had started out rough toward her, when he waxed personal about women’s swimwear,
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he mellowed out and wrote friendly. Should she dare tell him what she did for a living and hope that that might break the ice between them so that she could share Christ with him more favorably? She must remember though: If anything were to open his blinded eyes and soften his hardened heart, it could only be through the Word of God and not through a shared interest in maillots. That was what she knew of the Holy Spirit power of God’s Word. Jesus was the living Word of God. The King James Bible was the written Word of God. And the Word had soul-changing power. After all it convicted her and saved her soul. Could it not also convict Flanders and save his soul in time to come? She would not give up on Flanders Nickels. He was, in a way, a fairly handsome fellow, if he still looked like he did in the yearbook some few years ago. Yes, there was still room and opportunity for her to indulge in flirt and secret admirer’s affections for this weird guy. Surely he would feel the same for her if he found out that she wore one-piece swimsuits for a living. Her work for God was only just beginning.
Next the Holy Spirit told her to write a letter to this Flanders. What should she write? God reminded her–the testimony of her salvation. She would write and tell Flanders the good news of how she became born again. What Bible verses from the epistles of John would God want her to share with him? Surely I John 4:14-15, which were parallel in meaning much to the other Scripture that she had written to him about Jesus and His Father. And she began her letter to this unwitting secret admirer whom she knew not liked her, him, upon whose bedroom wall was taped this model’s picture: “Dear Flanders, me again. I ask that you bear with me with patience. God the Holy Spirit bade me to write the testimony of my salvation to you. Often the best way to witness to people is to tell how one herself got saved. So I will give it a try. All I ask is that you read this from start to finish. If you never read this a second time or if you crumple it up and toss it or if you burn it up in a fireplace, at least you will have read this once. This is how I found my personal Saviour: I was new in my job as a professional model. I was then only thirteen years old and not yet become a woman. And J.C. Penney’s stores thought that I would make a good swimsuit model for young girls like myself. My job was to put on
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children’s maillots and have my picture taken for those great big J.C. Penney catalogs that department store chains still make. You might have seen me in some of those catalogs that you wrote to me about in the postcard., But I can tell that you’re a swimsuit woman fan and not a swimsuit girl fan. I’m sure that my maillot photos as a grownup become the maillot more than did my maillot photos as a child. My little girl’s swimsuit that first photo shoot in my new job was a black maillot with white unicorns on it. My photographer was a Christian man, and he was far from silent about Christ. Often times he got into trouble with clients and workers and bosses because he so faithfully strove to win souls. Everybody called him “Witness.” And he got into trouble in his quest to win my soul to Jesus. Right away on my first day as a model at Penney’s, Witness asked me, ‘Little Cynthia, did you know what sign that J.C. Penney himself used to put on the door of his department store every Sunday?’
I said to him, “No, sir. I do not. What did his sign say?’
And Witness told me, ‘“Closed on Sunday. See you at church.”’
‘Do you go to church, Witness?’ I asked him
‘I do,’ he said. And he answered, saying, ‘I do not work on Sunday. Every Sunday I go to church.’
‘What church do you go to?’ I asked him.
And he told me, ‘New York City Baptist Church.’
‘Is that a big church?’ I asked him. “Is it the biggest church here in the big apple?’
And he said to me, ‘No. It is a small church. It is probably the smallest church in the big apple.’
‘Are Baptist churches usually that small?’ I asked him.
‘Some are, Cynthia,’ he said.
‘Why do you go to the Baptist church if it is so small, Witness?’ I asked him.
And he said to me, ‘Because God is in that church,’
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‘Who is God?’ I asked him.
And he told me all about Christ Jesus. And he told me lots of Bible verses. And he prayed that I get saved from my sins. And before too long, one day at work, when I was alone with him, he led me through the sinners’ prayer, and I got saved. That day I was modeling a girl’s maillot that was white with black unicorns on it—the very opposite to the one I put on in my first day with Witness the professional photographer. I still remember the Scripture that he told me that convinced me to pray with him that first day of my salvation. It was I John 4:14-15. And that goes like this, Flanders: ‘And we have seen and do testify that the Father sent the Son to be the Saviour of the world. Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God.’ [This was the verse that God had her to write to the man Flanders.].
If you would, Flanders, write back and tell me what you think about the Son of God and what you think about this same God the Son. Witness got yelled at for having won my soul for the cause of Christ.
Yours in Christ,
Cynthia Marilyn Berger.”
And this she mailed to Flanders Nickels.
Flanders read this not with tolerance. And he read this preaching not without gritting his teeth. And he read this one time from beginning to end. And he would not read it a second time. And when he read the closing to the letter, wherein she wrote, “Yours in Christ,” he railed on her from afar and without her hearing him from afar.
And with the indignation of pride, he went ahead to write back to her: “Dear Miss Berger: Never ever write in another letter to me the three words, ‘Yours in Christ.’ Signed, Not yours not in Christ, Flanders. P.S. I do wish I had seen your maillot girl pictures with the unicorns. But I don’t have any Penney’s catalogs that go back to that day.” And he at once mailed his letter to her in its
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envelope. And he said to himself, “She sounds like a most desirable young woman, what she does for a career. I would go after her if she were not one of those believers as she is. Jesus took a good girl and changed her into a freak.”
But the written words of this young woman’s testimony in this letter began to put thoughts of doubts upon him for the way he lived. He did not personally know this Christ Who died on the cross as she surely knew Him. He did not know of the Heavenly Father the way she did, even though he recognized His deity. And he hardly had God the Holy Spirit dwelling within his own body as this girl seemed to within her body. And very secretly he thought a fleeting scary new thought—”Could a person who knew nothing at all about the trinity of God get to go to Heaven when he died?”
In his life he did pray to the Father. And now in his life he did believe in the existence of the Holy Spirit. But Jesus the Son? No, not Christ. This One was too much for him to accept. There was something about Jesus that caused him to stumble in his conscience like a stumbling stone. There was something about Jesus that caused him offence like a rock that one falls down upon or that falls down upon one. He wanted nothing to do with Cynthia’s Saviour of the world.
Next Jesus told Cynthia Berger, “My daughter, go now and mail this lost and hopeless child of the Devil your very fuchsia one-piece swimsuit. He will find it most wonderful. And he will begin to want to hear what you have to say about Jesus. And with this maillot, do write on a paper My Words of I John 4:9-10. Go now and do even so.” [Reader, this one-piece swimsuit was the one that his Queen of Sex had on in his picture of her on his wall]. Had she known this title that he had given her thus, she might have hesitated upon her obedience to God’s commands. But with her unawareness, she went ahead and did what God told her to do. She was going to give up her favorite swimsuit as a swimsuit model to a man who knew not God. But she was okay with this. God said to do this. And, in a way, all of her one-piece swimsuits that she modeled were her favorites. She went right away to the post office. In De Pere, her zip code was 54115. And she neatly folded her nice used one-piece swimsuit
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upon the counter of the post office, laying it out flat, folding one vertical half over onto the other vertical half, then folding the shoulder straps and the top horizontal half over onto the bottom vertical half. Then she put it into a white plastic package. And she sealed up the package. And, remembering the most important instruction most assuredly, she took her index card and her pencil from her pocket and wrote down the following, “’In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.’ I John 4:9-10.”
Then she borrowed some tape from the post office and taped this index card Bible passage onto the back of the white plastic packaging in its center. Flanders could not miss this. Then she borrowed a pen from the post office and wrote her return address in the upper left corner of the blank front of the package and his mailing address in the middle of the blank front of the package. The mailman behind the desk then asked about the one-piece swimsuit, “Who’s the lucky girl getting this?”
And Cynthia Berger replied and said, “A lucky guy is getting this.” And the mailman asked no more questions. He then put on the postage, and she paid for its shipping, and the mailman set it aside for the next pickup. And she left, feeling good about her sacrifice she was making for the guy whom she wanted to please. And she came home to the Union Hotel to pray for him.
In the middle of her prayer, she heard a knock on her door for her first time since moving here.
She got up from her knees, and opened her door to her room, and there stood a little girl with blonde hair and a look of defiance in her eyes. At once she said, “I know that you have been mailing things to a strange man named ‘Flanders.’ I live next door here. And I watch the things that people do in this hotel. I find out things in here.”
“What’s your name, little girl?” asked Cynthia.
“Sylvia,” said the little girl. “And I don’t like you telling all of us here about Jesus.”
Cynthia instantly became to see in this Sylvia “a nasty little urchin.”
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Further this Sylvia went on to say, “And I will make you stop telling this Flanders the things about Christ that you have been telling us in the Union Hotel.”
Lo, she now had a personal persecutor. And, strong in the Lord, Cynthia said, “Sylvia, leave the things of God to the people of God.”
Upon hearing this, this nasty urchin of a little girl stomped off down the hall and down the stairs and outside. But Cynthia knew that this was not the last trouble that she would find from Sylvia. And the swimsuit model of God went back into her room and got back on her knees in prayer for Flanders.
And for Sylvia, too, now.
A few days later, Flanders received his package. Alas, another round of preaching from this strange woman. He read the two Bible verses on the back, and he groaned, “Oh no!” He then stamped upon the stairs to his upstairs bedroom and opened the package.
He took out the contents, held it up in the air by its shoulder straps, and gawked at it as if falling in love, and he exclaimed, “Woo, Lady! What’s this? Don’t I know!”
This was the very same magenta surplice maillot that was also modeled by his Venus on the wall! What was this vexing Cynthia Berger doing with such a thing as this to give to him like this!? “I like her, God,” he prayed to the Highest Power about Cynthia. He looked upon it as he held it in the air in both hands. This one-piece swimsuit per se was more entrancing to him now than was his Venus in this same maillot on the wall. That is, the sleek and sensual maillot was sexier than the pretty maillot girl was herself. He believed this to be a used one-piece swimsuit; it did not quite look like maillots looked like on the racks. So that meant that a real girl—probably this Cynthia herself—had this fetish covering her real female form. Provocative! And desirable. And seductive. But why did she give him such a personal garment as this? She was definitely trying to tell him some things about Christ that she felt he needed to know. Maybe this woman thought that this gift would turn his heart to more words from her about this Jesus. But could he have the girl without the Saviour? Then he turned back to the
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Scripture on the package and did read it in consideration again a few times over.
Then he wrote his letter to his mysterious acquaintance: “Dear Miss Berger, thanks for the great gift, whoever you are. I believe that I am in love with it. Where did you get it? Did you put it on? Did you ever show it off to others? You should be a maillot model. And, by the way, I read the Scripture verses that you wrote on the index card. I always thought upon how much I love the Heavenly Father. But never before had I reflected upon how much the Heavenly Father loves me. Being as I am, I never felt any love for God the Son. But your two Bible verses seem to say that God the Father showed his love to me by sending His Son down to Earth for me. You’re beginning to make me not so sure now about where I stand in God in my rejection of Christ. Surely you don’t think that I never loved God, because I never loved Jesus. Do you think that I never loved God, because I never loved Jesus? Don’t answer that. Yours gratefully, Flanders Nickels. P.S. If I were a cross dresser I would put on this one-piece swimsuit you gave me. But I am not a drag queen kind of guy. Once again, thanks!”
Next God told her make preparations for her to give this man Flanders his own lady mannequin to look at. It would be a lady mannequin in a ladies’ one-piece swimsuit with a ladies’ brown wig. This virtual woman, of course, would become his own to dress up for him. And what would he attire this mannequin other than his new maillot? And he could cover the mannequin’s bare head with the wig and make her his very own brunette. She went ahead and called up her agent to check the studio’s storage room for a lady mannequin and to look for a brunette wig. Her agent agreed to mail them to her in De Pere. And then she would mail them to Flanders in Allouez. He could have his own maillot girl to admire and to appreciate and to adorn his bedroom. Such a feature as this in his room and in his life would inspire him even more than did his picture of Venus on the wall. Her agent called her and said that he found a simple and well-made and sturdy woman mannequin that was tall and thin and standing on her toes on one foot and on her heel on her other foot and having both arms straight down
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along her sides and with pretty eyes and with good white complexion. Good—a conventional and normal lady mannequin to please this man her mysterious friend in town. Flanders fancied his Venus on the wall to be a women’s size ten, herself surely a tall gal with a slim frame. Of course, Cynthia Berger the actual model was size ten. And the mannequin was size ten. Everything was working out just right for Miss Berger and in the things that she was doing for God and for Flanders. And her agent also told her that he found a nice brown wig not too different from her actual hairstyle. He would mail her the pieces of the mannequin in a cardboard box, and she would mail this to Flanders in the same cardboard box. He would mail her the wig in a white plastic package, and she would mail it to Flanders in the same white plastic package. All that Flanders would have to do was to put the mannequin together with the directions, put the fuchsia maillot upon it, and cover the head with the wig. Lo, then he would have a virtual one-piece swimsuit goddess in his life. Further, God told her to simply mail both packages the same day, and He would make sure that both packages come to his house on the same day. And, to further the cause for Christ in this placating of the man whose heart was far from Christ yet, God told Cynthia Berger to make sure that he see the three Bible verses I John 5:11-13 somewhere very manifest upon these shipments. And this she did most noticeably. Upon the shipping box of the mannequin she wrote in black magic marker these verses that God told her to share with him: “And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life. These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.” And upon the plastic package of the wig, she wrote in black magic marker the reference to the verse that God had her to share with him, writing, “Flanders, this verse on the other shipment is I John 5:11-13.” And with a prayer, Cynthia mailed them both out the same day. And she came back home from the De Pere Post Office. Behold, when good goes to work, so, too, does evil.
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There by her door was the urchin, waiting for her and ready to give her a hard time for her faith in Jesus. Sylvia spoke and said, “You’ve been away.”
“I’ve been on business,” said Cynthia.
“It’s about that guy. Isn’t it?” asked the impudent urchin.
“Whatever my business is about, it is not any of your business, little girl,” said Miss Berger.
“Don’t think that you will get that man to turn to Christ,” said Sylvia. “I would have to put a stop to that.”
“Little girl,” said the maillot model, “you talk like a little devil.” Cynthia was finding an affection now for Flanders.
“Oh yeah? Oh yeah?” she mocked. “I like being a little devil.”
“Little devils and big devils are of Satan,” said the Christian Miss Berger.
“And we devils go get you believers,” threatened Sylvia.
“Well you are not going to get me, little girl,” said Cynthia. “”Do I have to tell your mom and dad what you’re doing out here? I ask you to go away from me now. My work for God is not going to be compromised by a spoiled little girl,” said Cynthia with the authority of an adult to a child.
“I’ll be back,” said the evil urchin, giving in to the grownup. And she ran off down the hall, making sure to knock her palms on the doors to both sides of this upper hall as she passed them by.
Troubled by this Satanic resistance, Miss Berger knelt down to pray that God open the doors of Flanders’s heart to the love of Christ.
A few days later, Flanders got both packages and the three consecutive Bible verses. Once he saw what great thing that he could do with the maillot and with the lady mannequin and with the women’s wig, he at once went to work. And when he was done, lo, he had his virtual woman dressed just as was his Queen of Sex. He at once took his camera and took pictures of this virtual woman from left, from right, from in front, and from in back. He was going to make a special shrine of this
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wonderful gift from this wonderful Miss Berger. But a still small voice told him, “Flanders, read the Scripture again right now. So that he did. And he paused long and hard upon it in an earnest and fervid reflection. And he said out loud to himself. “This day I have found a mannequin who is greater to me than God the Father. And yet there is a Son of God Who is greater than my mannequin. These verses say that the Son of God can give me eternal life. Even my new mannequin girlfriend cannot do that for me. I do not have the Son of God in my life. I do not have life. I do not have eternal life. To get this everlasting life, all that I have to do is to believe in the Son of God. I heard that Jesus is this Son of God. And I heard that Heaven is this eternal life. No mannequin must be more important than God Himself, as I have made her this day. God the Father offers me this everlasting life through His Son.
Why, am I going to Hell?”
Right away, he began to write back to this mysterious Miss Berger, asking her what he should do with Christ. But, he became too apprehensive of Hell to continue this letter. And to escape his fears of damnation, he went on to make his shrine to his maillot mannequin. It was night time. He set her up in the empty corner of his bedroom. He took his desk chair and set that up in front of her. He then took his desk lamp and set that up upon the chair as a little table. And he rotated the head of the lamp with its adjustable long neck so that its light would shine right upon the maillot. And he wrote little magic marker signs that read, “My woman,” and “My girl.” and “My gal,” and “My lady,” and “My wench,” and “My vixen,” and he taped them to the wall on both sides of the corner right by the lady one-piece swimsuit mannequin. Then he sat down upon the carpet of his bedroom between the lamp and the mannequin, and he gazed upon her from top to bottom for over an hour. And when he was done admiring her for this day, he went to bed for the night. He would do the same tomorrow morning, but without the chair and the lamp. And as he fell asleep, he remembered that he had not finished his letter to Cynthia Berger. No matter for now. His new virtual woman was more exciting to him now than was any real living woman.
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Next, the Holy Spirit directed Cynthia Berger to actually this time call Flanders Nickels on the telephone and hear his voice and let him hear her voice. And she was to tell him the verse I John 2:25 and to preach to him on this. Remember, reader, she did not know that he fell for her in his swimsuit ad that he had on his wall. Remember, reader, he did not know that his Venus were his Cynthia Berger. Reciprocally, both were to find out not long from now that both maillot women were one and the same. She picked up a free phone book from the free magazine rack at the local grocery store, and she went home with it, and she found his telephone number, and she called him up from her room.
“Hello,” a deep nasal man’s voice said.
“Hello,” she said, unsure.
“Who is this?” he asked.
“Flanders?” she asked.
“This is I,” he said.
“Ah, this is your friend Cynthia,” she said.
“Cynthia!” he said in gladness. “Cynthia Berger?”
“The one, Flanders,” she said.
“Thanks for the mannequin and all the stuff that went with her, Cynthia,” said Flanders, glad to hear her voice and not at all unhappy that she called.
“I’ve kind of got another Bible verse,” Flanders,” She said. “God wants me to tell it to you, if you would.”
“You are one woman full of Bible verses,” he said. “But tell me anyway.”
“It’s I John 2:25,” she said. “Are you interested?”
“Do tell me this verse,” he said, welcoming her preaching this time.
And she quoted I John 2:25: “And this is the promise that he hath promised us, even eternal life.”
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Her voice was a pretty melodic sweet voice. He wondered what this kind Christian woman looked like. He wondered what she had on. Was she more desirable than his new mannequin woman that she gave him? He remembered his reddish-pink maillot “girlfriend” model that he used to cherish, and he thought sadly to himself, I’m all done with Venus now. He had found better things now for him than his Queen of Sex. First the real one-piece swimsuit came. Then the dream mannequin came. Now he was talking to an exciting girl who liked him and who taught sermons to him. Surely with all these things magically coming into his life, the picture on the wall had to be left behind there and be passed by.
Then the feminine voice on the phone asked him, “Flanders, did you find eternal life yet?”
Remembering now the words of that verse she recited to him, he asked, “Is it a promise, like it says?”
“It is a promise just like God says,” she said.
“Then I will get it from God when He wishes to give it to me,” he said.
“Nay, Flanders,” she said. “First you have to ask for it.”
“Oh. I don’t get this eternal life until I go and ask God for it?” he asked, understanding better.
“We Christians call it ‘the free gift of everlasting life.’” said Cynthia Berger.
“How could a guy like me ask for such a thing as that?” he asked.
Just then there arose in her hotel room a loud banging upon her shut door, pound after pound.
He said, “I hear a loud knocking, Cynthia. Is everything all right there?”
From in her room, Miss Berger heard the evil voice of the urchin, calling out and mocking, “Cynthia, I know where you are, and I know what you’re doing.”
“Cynthia, who’s that I hear in the background?” he asked.
And Miss Berger cried out, “It’s my neighbor from Hell. Her name is Sylvia. And she’s a nasty little girl. Flanders, she stands against Christ.”
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“I don’t like that little girl,” said Flanders.
“She’s my urchin sent by the Devil,” cried out the swimsuit model.
Then, from the other side of the door, Sylvia took a hold of the door knob and tried to turn it. It would not turn. It was locked. She then pulled and pushed on the doorknob. It would not open. She then said loudly, “Open up this door at once, Miss Berger! Open it! Open it! Open it!”
“Somebody get rid of that girl,” said Flanders in frustration.
“I tell you, Flanders, the Devil is making so much noise in here that a woman cannot preach Christ,” said Cynthia, at a loss for what to do right now.
“I, myself, cannot hear you preach Christ with all of that noise going on in there where you are,” he said.
“Could we try anyway?” asked the maillot model.
“I think that I will pass on that,” said Flanders.
Cynthia Berger prayed a quiet prayer that God send away Sylvia. And He did so. Suddenly the urchin walked away, weary of her wicked mischief for the day.
Cynthia in joy said, “She’s gone now, Flanders. It is all good and quiet now.”
“I don’t hear her anymore,” he said. “Things are nice and silent now.”
“Would you like to get saved now, Flanders?” asked the witness-warrior in sureness.
“Not right now, Cynthia,” he said. “I thought that I wanted to. But then that Sylvia came along and spoiled it all for me. Maybe later.”
Cynthia Berger groaned in dismay. That urchin had just cost the man his soul. Satan had his victory over this man’s soul. And he had used a true child of the Devil to do this work for him.
“It’s not too late to pray and get saved, you know, Flanders.” said Miss Berger.
“No. No,” he said. “I don’t feel like praying right now.”
And this phone conversation ended in great disappointment to both man and woman.
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Had Flanders known that this woman he had turned down for so great salvation were his living “Queen of Sex” he would not have said, “No,” to her about accepting Christ. Had he known that this young woman who was going so out of her way to tell him about the Saviour were his wondrous Venus, he would not have given up so easily on God. Had he known that this was the exciting one-piece swimsuit model whom he had become smitten with on his bedroom wall, he would have given all just to hear her voice a lot longer on the phone.
Had Cynthia known that this man had a great crush on her and did not know it, she would have tried harder to win his soul to Christ on the phone. Had this maillot model known that he played records on the record player to feel great feeling for her whom he knew not, she would not have given up so easily into discouragement when the urchin came and did her evil work. Had the Christian woman known that hers was his favorite girl picture that he had ever put upon his wall, she would have pursued his soul like a Christian soldier.
But soon he and she would know all about the other.
God was not done with Flanders yet. So, then, neither would Cynthia Berger be. She went ahead and asked God, “What should I do now, O Father?”
And God told her now, “Tomorrow, My daughter, go and visit the young man. Bring your Bible. And be ready to read I John 3:23 unto him.”
This was it. She would finally get to see him. And he would finally get to see her. What would he think of her then? Would she be pretty to him? What would she think of him then? Would he be handsome to her?
And would he get born-again tomorrow?
Tomorrow came. She made sure to dress up in the very same style of one-piece swimsuit that she had on in her ad on his wall that she did not know about. It was the very same maillot, but another maillot. And it was new to the touch and to the sight and to the nose, as one-piece swimsuits always
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are when they come fresh off of the racks. And it was the same sultry pinkish-red.
He took one look at her before the door at his place, and his words could not come out. He looked at her long and hard and dumbfounded.
“Flanders Nickels?” she asked.
“Venus?” he asked.
“Cynthia,” she said.
“Cynthia,” he said. Then he said, “This is you then?”
“Your one-piece swimsuit model at your service,” she said.
“Are you real?” he asked.
“I am real,” she said. “And you are real,” she said to bring mirth to this lofty first meeting.
“I am real. And we both are real,” he said. “Oo là là, woman. Looking good. More good than any other maillot woman I have ever seen.”
“What a compliment to a girl like myself, Flanders,” she said.
“I love your one-piece swimsuit, O Cynthia,” he said. “I have a picture of you dressed in that same one taped on my wall.”
“Myself, a poster girl for a strange man far away,” she said in great revelation to herself and in all due enlightenment of her influence over him of recent.
“I had no idea that you were she,” he said. “And I had no idea that she were you,” he exclaimed.
“I never knew that the guy whose soul God put into my heart had such a crush on me.” she said. “I never knew that I was your special maillot girl.”
“I was wrong. You in person are prettier even than the mannequin and all that you mailed me. Thank you for all of that, Cynthia,” he said.
“I do see in you a more handsome fellow than you were in the St. Norbert College yearbook
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that I just happened to discover,” she said.
“So that is how you found out about me,” he said, himself now knowing her side of this story. “Maybe a few years have added dignity to my face.”
“Your mustache is grown out lots. And you have quite the goatee, I do say,” said Miss Berger.
“When I was a kid I always said, ‘When I grow up, I’m going to have a mustache and a beard,’” he told her.
“It almost looks to be kind of red,” she said.
“My facial hair is yet so sparse that it is hard to tell,” he confessed.
“I do say, Flanders,” she said. “great bangs. Bangs are rare in men.”
“Thank you, Cynthia. Very brown. Just the way I like it,” he said. “Great brown hair you have, too. Brunettes are my favorites among women.”
“Why, thank you, Flanders,” she said. They were still at the front door. She then looked at the Bible she held in her hands.
“Do you have a Bible verse to tell me, Cynthia?” he asked.
“Oh, I do,” she said. “It’s I John 3:23.”
“Come in and make yourself at home, Cynthia,” he said. “And let me see this Bible verse.”
“Uh huh,” she said with an eager nod.
And she came into his house on into a front hallway. She saw to the left a living room with a sofa. She saw to the right a dining room with a dining room table and chairs. He looked into the living room and turned away. He looked into the dining room, and his eyes brightened. He said to her, “Shall we sit at the dining room table, Cynthia? Mom is at her bookstore down the road. Dad is at the thrift store. And my little brother is at the greyhound park.”
“I’d be glad to sit with you in the dining room, Flanders,” said Miss Berger.
And pulled out a dining room table chair for her. And then he sat himself down at a chair on
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the other side of the table from her. This strange guy was a gentleman. First of all, he had not her to sit
with him on a cozy romantic living room sofa. Second of all, he pulled out a chair for his lady. Third of all, he had not sat down right next to her at this table to “get close” with her. “You are a gentleman, Flanders,” she said.
Humble thankfulness in his countenance, he said. “I need to treat a lady like a lady.”
He then looked upon her King James Bible that she had set on his table, and she remembered why God had sent her here today. “I John 3:23,” she said. She searched the Scriptures, found it, and then showed it to him.
And Flanders read this Bible verse off of the page out loud: “And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment.”
She went on to preach this Bible verse: “This verse contains the two greatest commandments of the Bible in one verse, Flanders. The greatest commandment says basically that we are to love the Lord our God with all of our heart and with all of our soul and with all of our mind and with all of our strength. That’s this verse’s part that says, ‘That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ.’ And the second greatest commandment says basically that we must love our neighbor as we love our self. That’s this verse’s part that says, ‘And love one another.’”
“I obey the second greatest commandment, but I do not obey the first greatest commandment,” confessed Flanders Nickels.
“We need to change all of that today,” she proclaimed.
“I am willing to change,” he declared.
“God sees your repentant heart, good Flanders,” said Cynthia Berger in zeal for his soul.
“Now tell me, Cynthia, what must I do to be saved? What must I do to believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ? How can I become born again?”
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And the swimsuit model believer shared with him God’s plan of salvation in its power and simplicity and truth: “First of all, Flanders, all of us people are sinners. And doing sin is our own fault.
And sin is the worst thing in the eyes of our holy God. Sin brings death and sorrow and suffering. And though there is pleasure in sin for a season, it does reap a dreadful harvest. And this is what Hell is about. When a person dies in his sin, he goes down immediately to Hell, where the fires are, and he burns down there for ever and ever. The lake of fire is the price of sin—even if it is only one sin committed in a whole lifespan.”
“Who has sinned in this life more than myself?” called out Flanders Nickels, convicted of his sin.
“But God looked down from Heaven, and he saw all of his people walking down the broad road to destruction and walking beyond this road’s end, and falling down into Hell, thus doomed. He wanted to provide a way for people to not have to go down there. And He sent His Son Jesus Christ down to Earth to suffer the cross of Calvary for fallen mankind. It was on the old rugged cross where Jesus, in His love for us, shed His perfect sinless blood and died for all of us in order to deliver us from our own so dreadful damnation. And Jesus rose from the dead on the third day—thus the Easter miracle, Flanders.”
“I heard of that, Cynthia,” he said. “how Jesus died on the cross and arose from the grave.”
“That is called ‘the Gospel,’ Flanders,” said Miss Berger.
“I believe this Gospel,” he said, convicted of his need for this Saviour Jesus Christ.
“You believe now that you are a sinner who cannot save himself. You believe now that only the Son of God can save you. And you want to go to Heaven instead of to Hell,” she summed up.
“I do,” he confessed.
“Last you need to reach out and accept the free gift of eternal life,” she told him.
“How does one like me do that?” he asked.
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“Just ask God for it, and God will give it to you,” she said.
“’Just asking’ is ‘just praying.’ Isn’t it?” he asked.
“It is, O Flanders,” she said.
“I shall pray then,” he said, convicted of his need to pray the sinners’ prayer.
“Praise God for this so great salvation just about to happen!” glorified Cynthia Marilyn Berger.
“Let us bow our heads at this table; let us pray; repeat after me line-by-line.”
Just then a voice of a young girl called forth from inside the house: “Ah, there you two rascals are!”
Startled, Flanders and Cynthia looked up. Behold, the urchin standing there in the front hall just inside the front door and glaring at them from over there.
“Who are you, little girl?” asked Flanders, seeing an unruly little trespasser.
“I’m a girl who has come to look around,” said the enemy of Christ.
“Sylvia!” yelled out Cynthia in rebuke and in chagrin.
“Ah, the woman who troubles the Union Hotel with preaching,” said Sylvia about Cynthia.
“I would say the woman who cares about souls, if I were you, nasty little girl,” said Flanders.
She then came into the dining room where they both were, and she ran her hands down the keys to the piano from one end to the other end.
Flanders said, “That is my mom’s player piano. Do not touch that.”
“How did you get in here, Sylvia?” asked Miss Berger.
“I came in through the front door, Cynthia,” said the urchin. She walked up to the front door and gave it a kick. “That’s the front door that I’m talking about,” she then said.
“Little Sylvia,” said Flanders, losing his patience. “I ask you to leave. Cynthia and I need to be alone right now,”
“If a man is left alone with this swimsuit woman, she is likely to make him one of those born
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again people just like herself,” said the urchin.
“Well that is exactly what I plan to do with her,” said Flanders. “Either leave now, or I will give your bottom a good spanking,”
“You can’t spank me, Flanders,” said Sylvia. “I’ll call the police on you.”
“If you don’t leave right now, I’ll call the police on you,” he said.
“You can’t do that. I’m an innocent little girl,” said Sylvia.
“Either I give you a spanking, or I call the police, or you march right out of this house and never come back again,” said Flanders Nickels an ultimatum.
“You can’t make me! You can’t make me!” challenged the urchin.
Flanders stood up with the authority of an adult dealing with an unruly kid.
She said, “You don’t scare me!”
He approached her as a man that was about to punish a spoiled child.
She then threw herself down upon the carpet on her back, and she began a rebellious temper tantrum, loud and discordant and ugly. She was wailing at the top of her voice, stamping her feet upon the floor where she lay, and pounding her arms upon the floor to both sides of her head where she lay.
And Flanders grabbed her by her shoulders, picked her up off of the floor, forced her over upon his lap, and began to give her a most overdue spanking.
This time her wailing was for real. And the spanking soon shut her up. And she was tamed. And he was done spanking the little urchin. And she fell to the floor in shock. She was quite fine physically. Her bottom hurt as it should. But her ungodly pride was hurt.
Just then a policeman came to the front door, He said to Flanders, “I received a report about a domestic disturbance at this house, Flanders. Is everything all right?”
Sylvia cried out, “He hit me!” And she ran up to the officer and grabbed him by his arm and cried.
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“Sylvia, have you been causing trouble again?” asked the policeman.
“Flanders beat me up, officer,” cried out the urchin.
The officer asked Flanders in his duty, “Did you strike this little girl, Flanders?”
“I was forced to spank her,” said Flanders.
“As they say, ‘Spare the rod; spoil the child,’” said the officer.
“Officer, he hurt me!” cried out Sylvia.
“I would like to hurt you, too, Sylvia,” said the policeman. “You are a menace to De Pere.”
“Nobody did to me before what this man did!” cried out the urchin of a girl.
“Too bad for that, Sylvia,” said the officer. “If your parents had spanked you before, you would not be the juvenile delinquent that you are today.”
“But this woman was about to turn this man into a Christian,” said Sylvia.
“And did you come to keep that from happening?” asked the police officer.
“Yeah! I sure did!” called forth Sylvia.
“Come with me to the station, little girl,” said the policeman. “I think that we had better keep you confined for a while until you learn to treat believers better than that.”
Completely mastered, Sylvia had to give in, and she got into the police car. The officer said to her, “Don’t you think that you should apologize to Flanders and his good friend right now, Sylvia?”
“I’m sorry, Flanders. I’m sorry, Cynthia,” said the urchin. Then she stuck her tongue out at both of them.
And the policeman said, “We will find a place to put her where she will not cause any more trouble, Flanders, Ma’am.”
“Thank You, God,” said Cynthia Berger.
“Praise the Lord,” said Flanders.
And then the police officer and the Christian persecutor rode off.
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“Ah, she’s gone,” said the maillot model.
“The Devil has left us, Cynthia,” he said.
“That just leaves you and me and Jesus the Saviour,” said Miss Berger.
“And your Bible,” he said.
“It is written,” she said from the Bible, “’I rejoiced greatly that I found of thy children walking in truth, as we have received a commandment from the Father.’ II John 4. This was written to an elect lady and her saved children.”
“And the truth is Jesus,” he said.
“It is written again,” she recited again from the Bible, “’For I rejoiced greatly, when the brethren came and testified of the truth that is in thee, even as thou walkest in the truth.’ III John 3. This was written to the well-beloved Gaius.”
“And the truth is Christ,” he said again.
“Well. Let’s do it,” said Cynthia Berger.
“Here I come, Lord,” he said.
And she began to lead him through the prayer for salvation: “Dear Father in Heaven:”
He repeated after her, saying, “Dear Father in Heaven:”
“I am a sinner, and I should not be,” she said.
“I am a sinner, and I should not be,” he said.
“I am sorry for that. Please forgive me,” she said.
“I am sorry for that. Please forgive me,” he said.
“I repent now of that. Help me to repent of my sin,” she said.
“I repent now of that. Help me to repent of my sin,” he said.
“I believe that Jesus is God,” she said.
“I believe that Jesus is God,” he said.
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“I believe that Jesus bled much on the cross for me,” she said.
“I believe that Jesus bled much on the cross for me,” he said.
“I believe that Jesus willingly laid down His life for me on that old, rugged cross,” she said.
“I believe that Jesus willingly laid down His life for me on that old, rugged cross,” he said.
“I believe that He arose from the dead on the third day,” she said.
“I believe that He arose from the dead on the third day,” he said.
“I believe in Easter for what it really is,” she said.
“I believe in Easter for what it really is,” he said.
“Please save my soul right now,” she said.
“Please save my soul right now,” he said.
“Wait for me in Heaven,” she said.
“Wait for me in Heaven,” he said.
“And don’t let me go down to Hell to wait for the Devil,” she said.
“And don’t let me go down to Hell to wait for the Devil,” he said.
“Thank You, Lord,” she said.
“Thank You, Lord,” he said.
“In Jesus’s name I pray,” she said.
“In Jesus’s name I pray,” he said.
“Amen,” she said.
“Amen,” he said.
Thus Flanders Arckery Nickels became a born-again believer in Christ through the work of the Holy Spirit and Cynthia Marilyn Berger.
“Thank you, Cynthia,” he said. “Now I am a Christian.”
“For now and for ever, Flanders,” she declared the eternal security of the believer.
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It was the next night. Flanders and Cynthia were on a date at the Union Hotel fountains outside the hotel. Flanders was in his guy’s swimsuit, and she was in her gal’s magenta swimsuit. They were standing in the waters of the fountains up to their knees. The colored lights and the spray of the fountains and the warmth of the air and the dark of night made this a most romantic time for both maillot model admirer and maillot model woman. He spoke up and said, “Tell me, Cynthia. Would a guy or a gal call this date we are on a ‘first date’ or a ‘rendezvous?’”
“Well, Flanders. If yesterday’s visit where we first met and where I led you to Christ were not an official date, then that makes our date here ‘a first date.’ But if yesterday’s get-together where we first met and where I led you to Christ could be considered an official date, then that makes tonight for us ‘our rendezvous,’” she said.
“’Rendezvous’ sounds more romantic that ‘first date,’” he said.
“And what better first date to have than the day a guy finds his own personal Saviour?” asked Cynthia Berger.
“Yesterday, my last day of my old life and my first day of my new life,” he said about becoming a born-again believer.
“Yesterday, Flanders,” she said. “your last day as the old man of sin and your first day as the new man in Christ.”
“You helped change my afterlife from Hell with Satan to Heaven with God,” he said in joy of the Lord.
“We Christians refer to that as ‘conversion,’” she told him.
“Everything about my life is lighter now,” he said. “I can see eternal matters clearly. And I am in my little darkness no more.”
“You have been rescued from the kingdom of darkness and saved for the kingdom of light,” said
Cynthia Berger.
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“All of those verses that you told me about that showed to me clearly how much I needed the Saviour of the world to become my own personal Saviour, Cynthia,” he said. “They all seem to come from around the same place in the Bible.”
“Uh huh,” she said. “I John and II John and III John.”
“This John explains the Son of God very convincingly,” he said.
“Those three books are called the ‘Johannine Epistles,’” she said.
“Johannine epistles?” he asked.
“Yes, Flanders. “The three epistles of John the Apostle.”
“Wild and crazy thing to call them,” he said.
“There are other groups of epistles in the New Testament that we believers refer to collectively that most people don’t know about, too, Flanders,” she said.
“Like what?” he asked.
“Like the ‘Pauline epistles,’ written by Paul the Apostle. Like the ‘Petrine epistles,’ written by Peter the Apostle, Like the ‘general epistles,’ written by someone other than Paul. Like the ‘prison epistles,’ written by Paul while in jail. Like the ‘pastoral epistles,’ written by Paul for other pastors,” she preached to him.
“All of these books in the Bible that you call ‘epistles,’” he said. “What really is ‘an epistle?’”
“An ‘epistle’ is simply a ‘letter,’” she edified him.
“Does God have any more Johannine epistle verses for my Johannine Epistle Girl to tell me about?” he asked.
“I do remember now one more verse from that section of the Bible,” she said.
“Where is it?” he asked.
“It is found in III John 4,” she said.
“What does III John 4 say?” he asked.
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And she recited it to him, saying, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.”
“That sounds just the way that a good pastor would feel for his good flock,” said Flanders.
“The Apostle John loved truth just as we believers today love truth,” said Miss Berger.
“And the only begotten Son of God is truth,” said Flanders now knowing the things of God as a son of God.
“Flanders, I’m beginning to feel frisky,” said the surplice one-piece swimsuit girl.
“Shall we do something romantic?” he asked.
“Something wild and crazy and okay with God,” she ventured forth.
“What can a boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ do for fun in a place like this and at a time like this?” he asked.
“Maybe we can splash around as we are in this water,” she said.
“But, Cynthia, you might get your maillot all wet if we go and do something like that,” he teased her in flirt.
“Oh, Flanders, forbid the thought that a woman get her one-piece swimsuit all wet,” said the gal in romance.
Just then the rain began to come down upon them both and drenched them from head to foot where they stood. “Uh oh, girl. The Good Lord got your maillot all wet anyway.”
“Well, well,” she said, “No need to worry anymore about my swimming suit,” she said.
“Nor mine, either, girl,” he said.
“Yesterday, we sat at your table as good friends. Today let us sit on the bench as courtiers,” she said.
“Is the word ‘courtier’ or ‘courter?’” he asked in coquetry.
“Either way, Boyfriend, let us go and court on the bench,” said his swimsuit date.
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“What a thing to do to start out our life as boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ,” said Flanders Nickels.
“And from now on we can share fellowship and romance in Christ together,” she said.
“We can live in Christ,” he said.
“In Christ?” she asked that old two-word closing to letters that he used to hate.
“In Christ,” he boldly proclaimed.
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