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THE TRICK-OR-TREAT WITCH

By Mr. Morgan P. McCarthy

            His name was Flanders Nickels, and his favorite words were “Orlon Acrylic” and “Polyester Double-knit.”  Orlon Acrylic was the fabric of his precious cheerleader sweater.  Polyester Double-knit was the fabric of his dear cheerleader skirt.  He was, in essence, a wannabe girl.  He so liked women that he regretted not being born a girl.  He dressed himself in this women’s cheerleader uniform every chance he got.  The cheerleader sweater was of long sleeves with cuffs and a bottom hem and partitions of maroon and white divided up by gray stripes.  On his cheerleader sweater was sewn on the chenille emblem reading, “KYRIE.”  Kyrie was his girlfriend in life.  And this chenille emblem gave due honor to Kyrie for her attraction.  The cheerleader skirt was abundant in box pleats—eight of them—eight main maroon pleats and eight contrasting white pleats in between.  And it had a button-zipper closure in back.  It was girls’ size 13/14.  He had on also maroon and white knee socks and maroon and white canvas sneakers and a black mask and a black witch hat.  Today was Halloween.  The year was 1990.

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This drag queen had special ordered this cheerleader’s uniform from the Varsity, Incorporated cheerleader fashions catalog just for his desires.  This outfit was all to him in his heart.

            Today was Halloween, and Kyrie was coming over.  And the two of them were going trick-or-treating.  He was twenty-nine years old.  She was twenty years old.  Surely no one could be too old for trick-or-treating.  And this was to be a day of brave new horizons for Flanders.  He had never left the house in this before.  This evening would be the first time that he went outside in this.  And, with Kyrie at his side, both of them going house to house like this, he felt quite bold and confident in himself as the cheerleader.  Was he a little nervous about showing himself to the world like this?  Yes.  Was nothing going to keep him back from doing this?  Nothing!  Kyrie saw him in this on their every date.  Now all the world would see him in this.  Being a cross dresser, Flanders had a spirit of exhibitionism to him—but not exhibitionism of skin, but, rather, exhibitionism of material.  The best thing about being a woman was wearing women’s clothes anywhere and everywhere without getting into trouble.  Lucky Kyrie; she was a woman.  And she always wore exciting outfits.  She had told him, “Flanders, on our Halloween together, I will be your own trick-or-treat witch.”

            “Witch hats are sexy,” he had said to her.

            “Your Halloween witch hat or my Halloween witch hat, Flanders?” she had asked.

            “Both Halloween witch hats, Kyrie,” he had replied.

            “Just wait till you see my witch’s dress, Flanders,” she titillated him with mystique.

            He came to his back door to his upper apartment and opened it and looked out of the screen door.  He saw first the back porch.  That was where he would first step out in his brave new adventure.

He then looked upon the wooden steps leading down to the ground.  He would walk down these steps, himself no longer in his safe haven of inside.  He then looked out upon his little backyard.  This was where he would stand upon the ground outside just as if he were in regular men’s clothes.  He then looked out onto his neighborhood out back behind his backyard.  This transgender straight fellow

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saw the world of east Green Bay.  There was the narrow alley running behind his house.  There was the busy University Avenue.  There was the little gas station at the corner.  Out there amid the big city this man was going to be seen by all, himself in the most comfortable outfit he knew of.  He then turned to loo down upon the back porch that beckoned him now to come on outside.  It was three o’clock in the afternoon.  Kyrie was coming to this apartment on Elm Street here at three-thirty.  Halloween hours for Green Bay this year were four o’clock to eight o’clock.  For four hours, Flanders would have the best fun in his life.  Except for his drag, life for him was not a lot of fun.  He would forget his lack of happiness in life this day of Halloween.  And he would be happy for a while.

            Kyrie said that she would be coming from out back here.  He thought upon Kyrie and felt glad with her as girlfriend.  He stared upon the back upper porch just on the other side of his kitchen door.  All he had to do was to experiment.  Why should he wait a half-hour before he could come outside?  He opened the door, stepped outside his apartment, and shut the door behind himself.  There.  He was finally outside in his cheerleader’s uniform.  The air felt sensual to him dressed in this.  The wind felt illicitly good. His bright pleats blew about around his hips. He was physically comfortable most uniquely.  And he was emotionally comfortable even more so.   All the world could see him.  No one noticed.  They all would notice soon enough.  And he sat down up here two stories up outside and waited outside till Kyrie would come.

            Further, he thought, what kind of dress was Kyrie talking about when she made hints about her secret witch dress?  What kind of fabric was it made of?  Was it black?  Was it long?  Would he want to put it on?  He and Kyrie were the same height and the same weight as each other.  He could put on her clothes; and she could put on his clothes.  This trick-or-treat witch would surely bewitch his heart so this Halloween with what she had on over her female form.  And he could not wait to see her.

            Just then, walking down this back alley, was a comely long-haired brunette in a lustrous black dress.  She waved to him and called forth, “Happy Halloween, boyfriend!”

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            He stood up on this back porch and called back, “Fair Kyrie—you’re looking good this Halloween, girl!”

            This trick-or-treat witch girlfriend of his was wearing a black prom gown and black witch hat and black mask and black tights and black pumps.

            “Do you love my prom dress, Flanders?” she called forth.

            He ran down the wooden steps to come to her.  And when he got there, fair Kyrie spun in place to show off her form and her witch dress.  “That’s acetate!” he said of the shiny black material of her prom gown.

            “It is,” she said.  Her prom dress had two pieces to it.  The one piece was a sleek black prom dress jacket with padded shoulders and long sleeves and reaching to just below her breasts.   The other piece had a sleek black bodice covering her self where she needed to be covered and with black strings climbing up to her shoulders and going back down her back; and it had a black skirt portion of acetate and two flounces of black lace that reached to below her knees and above her ankles; and it had a Basque waistline between the bodice and the skirt; and it had in back a very long zipper, and at the bottom of the zipper and just above the rump was a shiny big black bow tie.  This prom gown did not celebrate any prom.  This prom gown celebrated Halloween for Kyrie and Flanders.  “I bought this at the Deb Store, Flanders,” she said.  “Do you love it?”  She spun around in place again to bewitch him.

            And he said, “Kyrie, you never looked better!”

            “Thank you, Flanders,” she said.  And she curtseyed before him in her witch’s dress.

            “My comely Trick-or-Treat witch,” he praised her.

            “Kyrie Kay Kendricks wishes to make you happy, Flanders,” she said of herself.

            “That is the most exciting dress I ever saw,” he said.

            “I agree,” said Kyrie Kendricks.  “I fell in love with it at first sight.”

            “I’m jealous,” he said in flirt.

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            And she flirted back and said, “Someday, when I get done with this black witch dress, I’ll let you have it, Flanders.”

            “How long will that take?” he asked.

            “It could be a while,” she said.

            “I can’t wait, girl,” he said.

            “Maybe I can lend it to you for a little while from time to time, boyfriend,” she said.

            “I will have to wait my turn,” he conceded to her.

            “Soon.  I promise,” she said.

            “Yes!  Yes!” he said.

            “But you have to give in and let me wear your cheerleader uniform sometime, too, Flanders,” she said.

            “It’s all mine, Kyrie,” he said.

            “But it has my name on it,” said Kyrie Kendricks.

            “I will lend mine to you just as soon as you lend yours to me,” he said.

            “It’s a deal,” said the trick-or-treat witch.  And they shook hands on it.

            He looked around.  “No one has seen us yet, Kyrie,” he said.

            “We shall change that, boyfriend,” said Miss Kendricks.  “Shall we go trick-or-treating now, boyfriend?”

            “Now is a very good time to go have our Halloween fun like never before, fair Kyrie,” he said.

            He held up his medium straw basket for his trick-or-treating.  Kyrie Kendricks held up her medium plastic orange pumpkin container for her trick-or-treating.

            And together Flanders Nickels and his trick-or-treat witch walked out behind his back yard and into residential eastern Green Bay to celebrate Halloween in its most especial meaning for drag queens and their girlfriends.

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            Their first house for the holiday was a house with a white picket wooden fence that had a white wooden sign with black letters on it.  The two young adults stopped in front of it and read its brief message out loud:  “John 3:16.”

            “What’s that, Flanders?” asked Kyrie.  “What’s ‘John 3:16’ mean, do you think?”

            “It is a Bible verse, Kyrie,” said Flanders in contempt.  “I see signs just like that on TV when the camera turns to the stands with their football fans.  Those kind of people love John 3:16.”

            “Who would try to put a Scripture verse like that on a perfectly good fence?” she asked.

            “Jesus people would,” he said.

            “An odious bunch, to say the least,” said Kyrie.  “Do you think that we can skip this house this afternoon, Flanders?”

            “I don’t want to skip a house just because of a Christian sign,” he said.  “Let’s not skip any house, no matter what.”

            “No Christ people will ruin our fun tonight,” agreed Kyrie.  “We’ll make sure of that.”

            They walked to the front door, and Flanders found a door knocker, and he raised and lowered this door knocker.  And a young couple about their age opened the door.  But this couple was not dressed in Halloween costumes.  Flanders and Kyrie said, “Trick or treat,” and they held out their containers.

            The young man said, “Ah, a she-witch and a he-witch.”

            “God bless you both,” said the young woman.

            And they each gave a miniature Oh Henry candy bar to each at the door.

            “Thank you,” said the trick-or-treaters.

            The lady asked them, “Did you see our real neat sign out there?”

            “It says ‘John 3:16,’” said the guy.  “That’s the most well-known Scripture verse in the world.”

            “Tell the Halloween couple what it says, Husband,” said the young lady.

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            Flanders and Kyrie felt the need to back away.  But they held on to politeness, despite the aversion they thought to have to endure.  And these two lost trick-or-treaters braced for the worst.

            And the holy young man said, “It goes like this, O visitors: ‘For God so loved the world, that he

gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.’”

            And the righteous young lady said, “Pastor preaches that if this were the only verse in the Bible, it would still be enough to show people the way to Heaven.”

            Flanders and Kyrie looked at each other.  That wasn’t so bad to have heard.  But neither wanted to hear anymore.  And they turned back with a “Thank you,” and skedaddled out of there.

            Once out of earshot, Kyrie said to Flanders, “Those people seemed genuinely happy with their Christ.”

            “We don’t have Christ,” he said in scorn of them.

            “Are we happy without Christ?” asked Kyrie.

            “Yes.  Today I am happy without Christ,” he said.

            “How about any other day than this day?” asked Miss Kendricks.

            “Can anybody be happy every day?” he asked.

            “I am not happy in a real sense any day,” she said.

            “Well, neither am I,” said Flanders.

            “Such peculiar people those born-again believers were,” said Kyrie.

            “Odd folk, Kyrie,” he said.  “Very odd folk.”

            They continued on this afternoon’s Halloween tradition, he, carrying his straw basket; and she, carrying her orange pumpkin.  Much to their conscience’s relief, the next many houses of trick-or-treat did not have any of those Christians out there.

            But then they came to a house with a large wooden cross fastened to a brick wall to the right of

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the front door.

            “Uh oh,” said Flanders, pointing to the cross in its truth.  “Here we go again.”

            “Maybe the candy we get from here might make up for a sermon that we have to hear,” said Kyrie.

            “Candy is a great reason not to skip this house, either,” said Flanders.

            “Here goes, Flanders,” said Kyrie Kendricks.  And she rang the door bell.  And an elderly couple in their eighties answered the door.

            “Trick or treat,” chanted the cheerleader and his black witch.

            And the old guy gave them each a handful of those peanut butter kisses in black and orange wrappers.

            “Thank you,” said the two trick-or-treaters.  Flanders and Kyrie looked at each other to see if they both deemed it courteous to run away before these old people might tell them about the cross.

Both Halloween celebrators did hesitate, though.

            And the believing old man went on to say to the drag cheerleader and his trick-or-treat witch, “It is written, ‘He that believeth on him is not condemned:  but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.’  John 3:18.”

            And the believing elderly lady right after this did say, “And also it is written, ‘He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life:  and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life:  but the wrath of God abideth on him.’  John 3:36.”

            Ire betrayed itself upon the faces of the lost trick-or-treaters.

            “Heaven—don’t miss it for the world,” said this elderly just man.

            “The world is in the hearts of the unjust,” said this older woman.

            Flanders and his trick-or-treat witch knew that this righteous couple were accusing them of living for the world and not for Heaven in their adult celebration this evening.  And the trick-or-treaters

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were offended.  And they turned their backs on this couple and dashed away to get away from having to hear more Bible verses and from having to see that cross any longer.

            And when they were far enough away from these two Scripture people, they vented their frustrations by complaining about those two Bible verses.

            “We were wrong this time, Kyrie,” said Flanders.  “The candy was not worth it.”

            “We should have skipped that house, Flanders,” agreed the trick-or-treat witch.

            “They were saying something like believers like themselves are not condemned and like unbelievers like ourselves are condemned,” said the cheerleader-in-drag.

            “What do you think ‘condemned’ might mean, Flanders?” asked Kyrie Kendricks.

            “It sounds like that worst thing,” he hinted.

            “You mean like, ‘damned?’” she dared ask in fear.

            “Yeah, Kyrie,” he said.  “I think that that was what they were saying to us in those two verses from the Bible.”

            “What a thing to go and say to two complete strangers,” said Kyrie.  “I am not going to Hell just because I am not born-again like they are.”

            “They made it sound like this Son of God makes all the difference for a person,” said Flanders.

            “They also said to us in no uncertain words that born again believers have everlasting life and that unbelievers shall not have life, but shall have God’s wrath, instead,” said the trick-or-treat witch in great indignation.”

            “And again, this Son of God makes the difference,” said Flanders Nickels.

            “Perhaps this ‘everlasting life,’ in that Bible verse, means, ‘eternity in Heaven,’” said Miss Kendricks.  “And perhaps this ‘wrath of God…’”

            “This ‘wrath of God’ could be ‘eternity in Hell,’” conjectured Flanders.

            “I refuse to go and believe in the Son of God!” vowed the trick-or-treat witch.

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            “The same goes for me, Kyrie,” he declared.

            “Flanders, I’m scared,” said Miss Kendricks.

            “I am afraid, too,” he confessed.

            “I just want to live my life and have my fun and do my stuff,” said the trick-or-treat witch.

            “I like being an unbeliever and having the time of my life with you like this,” he said, raising an edge of his red box pleat of his skirt in his fingers in his joy as a cross dresser.

            “Are we both having the time of our life right now, Flanders?” asked Kyrie Kay Kendricks.

            “Not so much anymore with all of these born-again believers and all of their things they think that they need to say to us,” said Flanders the cheerleader.

            “I should be enjoying my night out as your trick-or-treat witch tonight, Flanders,” said Kyrie.

            “We should not let two bad houses take away our fun tonight, Kyrie,” said Flanders in encouragement.

            “Maybe we can have lots more houses without Bible people again for a while,” said Kyrie in good hopes.

            “We can hope,” he said, somewhat confident.

            And, sure enough, the next half-hour of trick-or-treating for the transgender and his witch girlfriend went smoothly and did much to add to their trick-or-treat containers.  And they forgot about Christ for a while.

            But then they came to a house that had a manger scene in its front yard.  The dark of night had come upon the two grown-up trick-or-treaters here this Halloween, and the offensive manger scene was  enhanced with much lights all around it.  Flanders and Kyrie stopped in front of this manger scene and gaped upon it in some conviction.  They saw the young child Jesus and Mary and Joseph and the three wise men and “gold” and “frankincense” and “myrrh.”

            “Christians,” scoffed the trick-or-treat witch.  “They are around everywhere this evening.”

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            “Bothering decent people with their manger scenes,” emphasized Flanders.

            “Let’s back away,” said Kyrie.  “We don’t want people to think that we like this.”

            “It’s bad enough to see things like this everywhere in Christmas time, but here now in Halloween?” asked Flanders.  They backed away a few steps from this Christian display.

            “Let’s not do this house, Flanders,” said Miss Kendricks.

            “No.  When I asked you to go trick-or-treating with me, it was my wish that everybody see me as I am.  And that means born-again believers as well, if it has to be,” said the drag cheerleader guy.

            “Then that goes for me, too, boyfriend.  After all, I myself wanted everybody to see me in my witch dress and witch hat.  The more who see me looking like this, the better I will feel,” said Kyrie Kay Kendricks.

            “And you look great,” said Flanders.

            “So do you,” said the trick-or-treat witch.

            “We’ll just see what Bible verse this family will throw our way, Kyrie,” said Flanders.

            “I’m not looking forward to it,” complained Kyrie.

            Together they knocked on the door, and the door opened, and a little boy stood before them.  Surely a little boy like him would not know a whole Bible verse to tell them; he was too young a lad to memorize Scripture.

            “Trick or treat,” said the two Halloween celebrators.

            The young boy gave them each a miniature Milky Way bar.

            “Thank you,” said the two adult trick-or-treaters.

            Then studious thoughts came upon this little boy’s countenance.  And then he said, “’In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son the be the propitiation for our sins.’  I John 4:9-10.”  Then he told them, “That’s what God says

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in His Word.”  Then he said to them, “Happy Halloween, cheerleader man and witch woman.”  And he shut the door in bashfulness.  And Flanders and Kyrie stood there in dismay, having heard two Scripture verses in a row like this from the boy.

            “Now we are being attacked by boy preachers,” complained Kyrie.

            “How could a kid like that remember so much?” asked Flanders in consternation of the lengthy Scripture passage so well recited by this little child.

            “I just bet that his parents make him read the Bible,” said the trick-or-treat witch.

            “Torture!” said Flanders.

            “The gall!” said Miss Kendricks.

            “The only begotten Son of God again, Kyrie,” griped the drag cheerleader.

            “This time as being the propitiation for our sins,” said his girlfriend about this only begotten Son of God.

            “Propitiation,” said Flanders, saying a vocabulary word he had studied.

            “You know big words, boyfriend.  You memorize vocabulary words,” said Kyrie.  “What does ‘propitiation’ mean?”

            “It means ‘satisfaction,’” he told her.

            “In what way, do you think?” asked the trick-or-treat witch about that boy’s Bible verses.

            “This Son of God must be a satisfaction for our sins,” said Flanders.

            “Maybe the boy was saying that God the Father was satisfied with the Son of God’s death on the cross in payment of our sins,” said Kyrie Kendricks.

            “Whoa!  How did you come up with all that from hearing what the boy said only once?” asked Flanders.

            “I went to church once,” said Kyrie.

            “Not an appropriate place for any girlfriend of mine,” said Flanders.

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            “I never went back there,” said the trick-or-treat witch.

            “That’s my girl,” said Flanders.

            “I heard it said that God is love,” said the girlfriend witch, still thinking upon what that boy told her from the Bible.

            “Do you think that God loves us, Kyrie?” asked Flanders.

            “He does.  He does, because He loves all of us,” said Kyrie.

            “We are neither one of us bad people,” said the cheerleader cross dresser.  “We would surely be loved by the God of love.”

            “We may not be bad people, but neither one of us are good people,” said the trick-or-treat witch.

            “Can the God of love love not-good people?” asked Flanders in humbleness.

            “We can simply call ourselves ‘in-between people,’” said Miss Kendricks in compromise.

            “We are neither good nor bad, but in-between,” he said, making excuses.

            “Do you think that that is how Jesus sees people—good or bad or in-between?” asked the trick-or-treat witch.

            “After all that has happened tonight, I am beginning to think that God sees people either as saved or unsaved,” he dared to say to her.

            “I’m getting scared again tonight, boyfriend,” said the prom gown witch.

            “Don’t let yourself get scared on Halloween, girl,” he said in encouragement.  “We must have our fun down here while we can still have fun.”

            Just then that door opened up again, and that same little boy said to them, “I heard everything.  I’ll have you in my prayers tonight.”  And right away he shut the door again in shyness.

            “He’s praying for us,” said Flanders in uncertainty.

            “I’m glad for that, boyfriend,” said Kyrie.

            “I think that I am, too,” said the cheerleader witch.

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            “Girlfriend,” he rebuked her and himself, “we could already have been at the next house.”

            And they moved on away from this third house with the Bible verse person.  They were half done with their wild night together.  Two hours of trick-or-treating were done, and two hours of trick-or-treating were ahead of them.  And soon they were comforted again with much houses and much candy and much compliments to their Halloween costumes.  But they could not shut out secret thoughts of the Son of God from their heads.  But in their hearts they chose to continue rejecting Him.

            Not being entirely honest, the trick-or-treat witch said, “I’m glad that we have not come upon another house of Jesus people again for a while.”

            “I, also,” said Flanders, not speaking whole truth.

            Then they came to a house with a brass plaque upon the front door, which they both read:  “’…:  But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.’  Joshua 24:15.”

            Flanders said matter-of-factually, “They don’t seem to be running out of Bible verses, girlfriend.”

            “There’s lot of Bible verses,” said the trick-or-treat witch not without hope.

            “Shall we knock on this house, Kyrie?” asked Flanders.

            “Do you want to show them your cheerleader uniform, boyfriend?” asked Kyrie Kendricks in

confidence of his answer.

            And he knocked on this door at once.  The door opened, and there stood a bunch of teenage boys and girls with denim vests that had tags reading “Psalter Baptist Church.”

            “Trick or treat,” said Flanders.

            “Yes.  Trick or treat,” said Kyrie.

            The youngest boy and the youngest girl gave both grown-up trick-or-treaters miniature Snickers and said to them, “Happy Halloween, Sir and Ma’am.”

            And the oldest boy said to them,  “In John 3:15, it is written, ‘That whosoever believeth in him

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should not perish, but have eternal life.’”

            And the oldest girl said to them, “And in John 6:47, it is written, ‘Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life.’”

            Woe!  Cheerleader transgender and trick-or-treat witch were convicted of their sins and where they were going to go when they would die.

            Yet, instead of staying here with the Baptist church youth and asking them to tell them more about this “eternal life” and this “everlasting life,” the two sinners quickly fled this house of Christians as fast as they could run.  After about five blocks they both stopped running.  And they stood there and got their breath back.

            Kyrie Kendricks was the first to speak, saying, “Flanders, I know what you’re thinking.”

            “You do not know what I am thinking,” he said back to her.

            “You’re thinking, ‘What if those Bible people are right?’” said the trick-or-treat witch.

            “Then I know what you are thinking, Kyrie,” he said.

            “Flanders, what am I thinking?” she asked.

            “You’re thinking, ‘What if we are wrong?’” he said to her.

            She said to him in truth of her thoughts, “What if we are both wrong about Jesus?”

            And he told the truth now of his heart, “What if all of them are right about Jesus?”

            “All of those Bible people are believers.  They are all going to Heaven someday and be There forever and ever,” said the trick-or-treat witch.

            “And you and I are not believers.  We both are going to Hell someday and be down there forever and ever,” said the cheerleader drag queen.

            “We must not be so sure of all of that, Flanders,” said Kyrie Kendricks.  “Let’s not jump into conclusions.”

            “All I know now, O Kyrie, is that all of a sudden I am afraid to die,” said Flanders Nickels.

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            “Yeah.  I, also,” said Kyrie Kendricks.

            “We might not make it,” said Flanders.

            “Heaven is too good a place to not end up in,” she said.

            What she really meant was that Hell was too bad a place to end up in.  Flanders knew her hidden meaning, being her boyfriend.  But he did not say anything further right now.  In silence they continued their trick-or-treating.

            They came to many more houses and got much more candy.  But this time they did not want to forget about Christians and their Bible verses.  And they did not forget about Christians and their Bible verses.  In fact they wanted another Christian and his or her Bible verse.  And they worried about an end to Christians and their Scripture for this night.

            Then they came to what looked like a garage apartment.  It could be a little house that was originally a garage.  The two trick-or-treaters saw a chimney and a front door and a mailbox and lights on inside.  Flanders said, “I have seen homes like this in the sides of alleys.  But I have never seen one like this on the side of a real named street like this.”

            The trick-or-treat witch read the address on the mailbox:  “777 Golden Street.”

            “Let’s try this one,” he said.

            “Does someone really live here?” asked Kyrie.

            “Silly girl.  Of course someone lives here,” said Flanders Nickels.

            They came up to the door, and Flanders knocked, and he held out his straw basket, and she held out her little plastic pumpkin, and the door opened.  There stood a young man in his thirties in tattered clothes and with a joyful face.

            “Trick or treat,” said the two Halloween celebrators.

            “Maranatha!” said the fellow in tattered clothes, and he gave them each a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.

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            “Did you say, ‘Marinette,’ sir?” asked the cheerleader guy.

            “Or was it, ‘Marquette?’” asked the trick-or-treat witch also sincerely.

            “Maranatha!” said the kind poor man again.  Then he said, “That means, ‘Even so, come, Lord Jesus.’ Believers like myself two thousand years ago used to greet each other with that salutation in the times of the first century church.”

            “Oh.  Maranatha, sir,” said Flanders.

            “Then a ‘Maranatha’ to you, too, sir,” said Kyrie.

            The tattered man then asked them, “Are you two believers, also?”

            “No,” said the cheerleader cross dresser.  “That word you taught us is all new to me.”

            “I am not a believer, either,” said Kyrie Kendricks.  “That’s the first time that I ever said that word you said to us.”

            “It is the Christians’ word of blessed hope,” said this poor man.  Then he asked them, “Would you two like to become Christians?”

            “Would we know that word as well as you do?” asked Flanders about that greeting.

            “You would indeed, sir,” said the man.

            “Would we want to say it to as many people as we could?” asked the trick-or-treat witch.

            “You would for sure, young miss,” he said to her.

            Yet still the two grown-up trick-or-treaters hesitated to take that big first step of faith.  Flanders and Kyrie looked at each other in indecision.  Then Flanders settled for asking the poor man, “We both would like to hear a Bible verse about being Christians, so that we two can think about it later.”

            “I’ve got just the pair of Scripture verses that would make anyone think about becoming born-again Christians,” said this kind fellow.  “They are found in I John 5:11-12, and they go like this:  ‘And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.  He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life.’”

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            In an admission, Flanders dared to say, “I heard it said that Jesus saves.”

            “Jesus saves!” said this man of the garage house.

            And Kyrie said, “And this Son you tell us about in the Bible verses is Jesus.  Is that truth?”

            “Amen!  Jesus Christ the Saviour of the world!” said this man of poverty and faith.

            Kyrie looked upon Flanders to help her to make up her mind.  Flanders turned away from her and said to the tattered guy, “We will think upon these Bible verses later.”

            In acquiescence to her boyfriend, the trick-or-treat witch said to the Christian man, “Thank you for the candy, sir.”

            And Flanders also thanked him for the candy.  He then grabbed her arm in his hand and hurried herself and himself away hastily.

            After a while they were well away from this Bible verse believer.  And the trick-or-treat witch called out to her cheerleader boyfriend in mixed-up feelings, “Why are we running away, Flanders?”

            “I am as messed up inside now as you are, Kyrie,” he confessed.

            Sharing his confusion, she asked him, “What is happening to us?”

            “I don’t know,” he said.  “I do not know, girlfriend.”

            “It is all of this Holy Bible that we have been hearing all this night,” she said.

            “The Words of God, Kyrie,…they have great power and great wisdom,” he confessed.

            “They are making me to think about things that I never thought about before,” she said.

            “That man back there must surely know God Almighty personally,” said Flanders.

            “He knows God in a way that we need to learn to know God, Flanders,” cried out the trick-or-treat witch.

            “He was poorer than the hills; his house is a garage; he wears only tattered clothes—yet he is happier in rags than I am in my cheerleader uniform,” said Flanders Nickels.

            Playing subtle again, Kyrie said, “He’s the kind of person who is on his way to Heaven.”

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            Knowing his girlfriend’s feelings, Flanders said, “What you’re really saying is that you and I are the kind of people who are on our way to Hell.”

            “Don’t scare me like that, Flanders,” cried out Kyrie Kay Kendricks.

            “Maybe the two of us have to become scared to death of Hell, before we humble ourselves and ask God for Heaven,” he said in serious thoughts.

            “I do not want to burn in Hell,” she said in terror.

            “This night is turning into the worst night of my life,” confessed the cheerleader drag queen on his greatest drag adventure of his life.

            They continued on with their trick-or-treating.  The dark of night had been upon them for some while now this Halloween.  The night was late.  And trick-or-treat hours were drawing to their end for Green Bay.  The two were no longer saying what they were thinking.  Instead they were silently thinking their thoughts only to themselves.  They came to many houses.  They got more candy.  And their containers were now filling up toward the top.

            Then they came to another house, in the middle of a cul-de-sac, and they rang the doorbell, and the door opened.  There stood a young man leaning on a wooden cane.  “Trick or treat,” said the transgender cheerleader and his pretty trick-or-treat witch.

            “Happy All Hallows’ Night,” said this guy at the door.  “Happy All Saints’ Night.”  And he gave them each a miniature Mounds bar.

            “Thank you,” said both at the door before him.

            Flanders quickly asked him, “Are you a born-again believer, sir?  Do you know your Bible?”

            The trick-or-treat witch said, “Don’t mind my boyfriend, sir.  But I need to know, as well, if you don’t mind.”

            “I am most glad to tell the both of you that I am a believer with the Good Book in my heart and life,” said the young man with the cane.

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            “Oh good!” exclaimed Flanders.

            “Tell us some,” said Kyrie.

            “Girlfriend, let us wait for him,” said Flanders.  Then he looked at this good man and said, “We can hardly wait right now tonight to hear some Bible verses.”

            “Are you two lost and seeking to get saved?” asked this man.

            “Yeah.  We are,” said Flanders.

            “Both of us,” said the trick-or-treat witch.

            “How about John 5:24?” asked this man.  And he said, “It says this:  ‘Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.’”

            “Yes, that’s a good one,” praised Flanders Nickels the Word of God, “a very good one.”

            “That’s the right one for us now to hear,” said Miss Kendricks.  “Thank you.”

            “Just like all of the others that we have been hearing this evening and yet distinct and unique in itself like all of the others,” said Flanders Nickels.

            “All of these verses we have been told this whole Halloween were all just like John 3:16,” said the trick-or-treat witch.

            “It looks like you two sheep are searching for the Shepherd,” said this Christian at the door..

            “We are,” said Kyrie.

            “We are sheep without a Shepherd,” said Flanders.

            “I can lead you both to Christ right now,  if you two mean business with God,” said this man with the cane.

            Just then from behind Flanders, called out a group of female voices, yelling out in compliments,

“Nice skirt, Flanders!”

            And right after than, from behind Kyrie, called out a group of male voices, shouting out, “Nice

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prom dress, Kyrie!”

            Indeed, this being his first time out in drag like this, this was the first time that he had gotten a compliment upon his cross dressing attire from someone other than his special girlfriend Kyrie.  Indeed no better compliment had anyone anywhere given him about anything that was as pleasing to him than this compliment given him tonight.  This cheerleader skirt was the best part of his cheerleader uniform all in all.  Others out there appreciated his lustrous box pleats as he did.  And he would never forget what the young women had said to him for the rest of his life.

            As for Kyrie, this compliment was the sweetest thing that she had heard in this whole trick-or-treat evening.  This compliment was more especial even than the Bible verses that she had been hearing all evening here in eastern Green Bay.  Being a girl, the trick-or-treat witch adored her black witch dress, and to hear young men say great things to her about her black witch dress encouraged her much as a woman.  Even a compliment upon her black witch hat would have come in second to that of her black dress of acetate.  And all of the good things of trick-or-treat that happened for the trick-or-treat witch were duly climaxed by this praise thus.  She was happy.

            So enamored were the two adults in their Halloween costumes upon hearing the consensus of accolades, that they quite forgot about how they had just about been on their way to seeking Christ as Saviour.  The young man at the door, leaning upon his cane, broke them both away from their reveries, saying to them, “Good lost sheep, the Shepherd awaits you to come to Him.”

            Flanders remembered.  Kyrie remembered.  The two looked upon each other.  The two would not turn to the Bible verse reciter.

            He asked them, “Shall we pray and get you two saved now?”

            Still the two did not turn to look at him.  Instead they gave frisky faces to each other of flirt and pretty clothes and the spirit of Halloween.

            Flanders spoke for himself and his trick-or-treat witch, “Kyrie and I are on our date together,

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and we do not have time to stop and pray.”

            The cross dresser then put his arm around his girlfriend’s waist, and they skipped merrily away side-by-side from this house with their candy.  Oblivious to what they had just done in rejecting the prayer of salvation offered by this Christian at the door, the two continued happily on to more houses and gathering more candy and focusing on what others might say about their Halloween costumes in compliments here in the dark October night.

            But the Holy Spirit spoke to Flanders’s heart secretly, saying to him in thoughts, “Satan had sent those women tonight.”  Those were the women who liked his drag outfit.

            And the same Holy Spirit told Kyrie in His still small voice, “The Devil told those men what to say to you.”  They had said that they liked her witch outfit.

            A chill of coming winter blew upon the grown-up trick-or-treaters now.  A cool mist began to fall down upon the two now.  And this last day of October now began to feel like the cold of November in Wisconsin.  The streets of Green Bay were all empty of little children trick-or-treaters and almost nil of older children trick-or-treaters.  These two lone adult trick-or-treaters felt strangely all alone together all of a sudden here in the cold quiet dark.  It was almost eight o-clock, when trick-or-treat hours were to end in this city tonight.

            The two stopped underneath a streetlight to look upon their containers of Halloween candy.  Her    orange pumpkin was now full.  So, too, was his straw basket.

            The trick-or-treat witch said, “Flanders, I’ve got room enough for just one more piece of candy in my pumpkin.”

            “The same for me and my little basket, Kyrie,” he said.

            “What should we do?” she asked.

            “Let’s go for one last house of our grand night on the town, pretty Kyrie,” he said.

            “One last house,” she said.  “That would be good.”

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            “One last Bible verse for us to hear and to get right with God finally,” he said in convictions.

            “Where can we find such a house now before it is too late for trick-or-treating, Flanders?” asked Kyrie Kay Kendricks.

            “I cannot tell,” he said hopelessly.

            “Only God would know which house that would be,” said the trick-or-treat witch.

            “That’s the answer,” he said.  “God only knows where we can go now and finally get ourselves saved.”

            “How can two sinners like us find out what God knows, Flanders?” asked Miss Kendricks.

            “We two can pray,” he said.  “We can ask God to tell us unsaved people where we can get saved.  Surely He will not have given up on us.  And He can tell us which house is our next house with the Bible verse for ourselves.  And hopefully at that very last house will be that Christian who can help us to get saved.  And, behold, you and I become born-again believers just like all of those Bible verse people who cared for our souls all evening tonight.”

            “That sounds real good, Flanders,” said the trick-or-treat witch.

            And first he prayed for the right house.  And second she prayed for the right house.  Though God hears not the prayers of the lost, He does hear the prayers of the lost who seek the Saviour.  And He leads them to where they need to go for salvation.  God loves souls.  One soul alone is worth more than all of the wealth of the world.  The Devil hates souls.  He sends trouble to the souls who are seeking Christ.  He is going to Hell when his time comes, and he wants to bring as many souls with him as he can down to Hell.  And God and Satan were seeing the transgender cheerleader and his trick-or-treat witch all evening this Halloween night.

            Just then two bright lampposts turned on, one on each side of a front porch, just a few houses away.  God had made it so that these lights would guide the trick-or-treaters to this house thus. The two Halloween revelers saw these lights go on, and right after, they saw a hobbling old man come out onto

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this porch, and they saw a big plastic mixing bowl full of trick-or-treat candy in both of his arms.

            They at once began to run up to this last house of trick-or-treating for them of this Halloween.

But they were still careful not to spill any of their trick-or-treat candy out of their containers as they ran.  And when they got there, they recognized this venerable dignified man.

            “Pastor Psalm?” asked Flanders.

            “It is I, Flanders,” said Pastor Psalm.  “Greetings in the name of Jesus.”

            “You’re the pastor of Psalter Baptist Church.  Aren’t you?” asked Kyrie.

            “I am at that, Kyrie,” he said.  “The Lord bless you.”

            Both parents of both trick-or-treaters always went to his church, even though Flanders and Kyrie never went to his church.  But this honorable man visited the houses of their parents frequently to fellowship with them.  And he was always kind to Flanders and to Kyrie every time they met.

            “Do I dare say, ‘Trick or treat’ to a pastor?” asked Flanders.

            “You may, Flanders,” said the Baptist pastor.  And he gave him a miniature Almond Joy bar.

            “I say the same thing then, if I can, Pastor Psalm,” said the trick-or-treat witch.  “Trick or treat.”

            And he gave her a miniature Butterfinger bar.

            “Thank you, Pastor,” said Flanders and Kyrie.

            Pastor began to cough.  He went on to say, “This cold night air is bad for my chest.  Sometimes it starts to affect my speech.  I cannot talk well outside in the cold for very long.”

            “Pastor,” said Flanders, “my girlfriend and I were hoping to get to hear you say a Scripture verse that you think that two lost people like us need to hear from you.”

            “I’ve got just the one, Flanders,” said Pastor Psalm.  “It’s I John 5:13.”  He began to cough here in the Halloween night.  Then he stopped coughing for a moment.  And he said, “It goes like this:”

But he began to cough again very severely.  But he rallied in the Lord, and he recited it to them:  “These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know

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that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.”  Then his cough became worse out here in the late fall air.  Then his coughing let up.

            “How do we come to believe?” asked Flanders.

            “How can we find eternal life?” asked Kyrie.

            Pastor, no longer coughing, opened his mouth to preach the simple plan of salvation to them.  Lo, his voice was completely gone with laryngitis. He could not speak audibly.  He could not tell them now verbally of the plan of salvation.  And nothing could come out of his voice box.  But, being a soul-winner, this pastor was prepared.  And he set down his big bowl of candy, stood back up, and reached into his shirt pocket.  And he pulled out two index cards with a typewritten plan of salvation upon them, and he gave Flanders one and Kyrie one.  Then his coughing became chronic.  And he had to get back inside his warm house.  He went back inside at once.  The big mixing bowl of trick-or-treat candy was still on his front stoop.  And the adult trick-or-treaters left it there and walked away with their big containers now full.  And Flanders and Kyrie agreed to go to the park to read their index cards at a picnic table underneath a park lamppost.

            And they went to the park that they both knew about just down the road.  They found the picnic table and the lamppost and the lamp.  And they set down their now-heavy containers of trick-or-treat candy upon the park table.  And they sat down at this table across from each other.  And they were now ready to become born-again Christians.  Trick-or-treat was done.  Halloween was almost done.  And salvation was now just one index card away now for the cheerleader cross dresser and for his pretty trick-or-treat witch.

            And in the silence of an empty city park nearing the end of its being open for the night, Flanders Nickels and Kyrie Kendricks, at this picnic table together under the tall lamp, read all about the simplicity of finding so great salvation as typed thus on these duplicate index cards:

“The difference between Heaven and Hell:

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If you have not yet received Jesus Christ

as your Saviour, you can do so in words

like these:

‘Dear God, I know that I am a sinner and

cannot save myself.  Thank You for sending

Jesus as the payment for my sins.  I believe

that He came to Earth, lived a sinless life,

died for my sins, and was raised from the

dead in order to conquer sin.  I trust in Your

promise that by believing in Jesus I can have

eternal life.  I accept Jesus as my Saviour and

ask You to help me live my life for You.

In Jesus’s name I pray.  Amen.’

Verily it is asked in Acts 16:30, ‘What must I

do to be saved?’

And verily it is answered in Acts 16:31,

‘Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou

shalt be saved.’”

            “Let’s pray and get saved, Kyrie,” said Flanders Nickels.

            “Let’s do that, boyfriend,” said the trick-or-treat witch.

            It was now eight-thirty at night.

            And the two who were about to become born-again believers, held hands across the table, looked down upon this sinners’ prayer upon their respective index cards, and bowed their heads in prayer, keeping their eyes open to pray the written prayer out loud up to God.

            Behold, chaos and bedlam coming into this park upon them all of a sudden from two directions!

            From behind Flanders appeared a group of ten wild young men hooligans, all of them saying, “Let’s smear the queer!”

            From behind Kyrie appeared a gang of wild young women, all of them saying, “Let’s get the black witch!”

            And the two wild gangs quickly closed in upon the two at this picnic table from opposite directions.  Flanders got up, stood with his front before this wild bunch of men, the picnic table bench behind him,  and said the truth to them, “I am not a queer.”

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            Likewise Kyrie Kay Kendricks stood up as well, her back to her bench of the picnic table, and

her face looking upon her gang of women before her.  And she said a lame, but truthful, “And I am not a real witch!”

            Not heeding these declarations, the gang of young men formed a semicircle around the drag cheerleader on his side of the picnic table here in this park, and the gang of young women also formed a semicircle around Kyrie on her side of the picnic table here in this park.

            The wild men said again, “Let’s smear the queer!”

            And the vicious women said again, “Let’s get the black witch!”

            And guy cheerleader and trick-or-treat witch were assailed where they stood.  The fierce young men grabbed Flanders by the ankles and lifted him up off of the ground and held him up in the air by his ankles.  He was now upside-down in his cheerleader uniform.  And to his great shame, his cheerleader skirt pleats were hanging down from his waist to his midriff, and showing to all the world his own little lingerie within that no one knew about.  As for Miss Kendricks, the ferocious women after her grabbed her black witch hat from her head and fought over it and threw it upon the ground and began to stomp upon it till it became flat at the cone.  Then the men dropped Flanders hard upon his head.  And the women slapped up Kyrie pretty bad.  Then the men tore off Flanders’s black mask from his face and tore up his own witch hat that had fallen to the ground.  And the women tore off Kyrie’s

black mask from her face and fought over it.  Then the men began to trample Flanders where he sat upon the ground. And the women tread all over Kyrie who was on her hands and knees on the earth.

            Then one of the savage men spoke and said, “Look, trick-or-treat candy, guys!”  And he grabbed up Flanders’s very full straw basket of trick-or-treat candy that Flanders had gathered after four hours of going door to door.

            At once the teenage boy gang left Flanders to go after his candy there on the picnic table.  As Flanders sat there, sprawled in an awkward position, he saw ten hoodlums fight harder over his own

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basket of Halloween candy than they had fought against himself.

            Of course, the young female gang also took notice of Kyrie’s orange plastic pumpkin and its abundant trick-or-treat candy that she had gathered from beginning to end of this Halloween.  And they, too, left off fighting against the trick-or-treat witch to begin fighting against each other over the Halloween candy of hers on that same picnic table.  She was left alone and wounded there, partly sitting and partly kneeling.

            And very quickly both containers were spilled and ravaged and ransacked and emptied out.

All of the two adults’ trick-or-treat candy was now taken away by twenty young delinquents among both genders.  And the wild young men and women then marched away, their pockets and purses and hands and arms and shirt edges and skirt edges carrying much candy away here in the night.  Flanders Nickels and his trick-or-treat witch had lost all.  And they were sore all over and cut up some and somewhat bruised.  And their Halloween costumes were also utterly ruined for forever.  But they themselves were going to be just fine in the end.  And they still lived.

            “What should we do, boyfriend?” asked Kyrie Kendricks.

            “I know the answer to that, pretty Kyrie,” he did say.

            Knowing Flanders as her special boyfriend, the trick-or-treat witch said, “We can still pray and get saved.  Can’t we?”

            He rallied and stood back up with some groans, and he hobbled to their picnic table.  And there they both were still there—their respective index cards given them by good Pastor Psalm.  And he said, “Yep!  The index cards are still here right where we had left them before we got attacked, Kyrie.  We two can still pray and become born-again.”

            Kyrie Kendricks also gathered her strength and stood up and hobbled up to the picnic table where Flanders was.  She said, “Ah, our beautiful prayer cards, Flanders.  God kept them from the hands of our enemies this night.  All is not lost.  All is good, instead.”

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            It was now nine o’clock in the night.  The trick-or-treat basket lay upon the ground in pieces of wicker and straw to the one side of this picnic table.  And the trick-or-treat orange pumpkin lay upon the ground all crushed in and crumpled up to the other side of this picnic table.  But the prayer index cards were not even budged from their places.  And the bright park lamp upon the park lamppost shone down beautiful yellow light upon this whole picnic table top, still illuminating the plan of salvation upon these two identical index cards.  All was ready.  Satan was held back by the Holy Spirit from any further distractions.  And Flanders Nickels and Kyrie Kendricks sat back down upon their original places on their picnic table benches across from each other.

            And drag cheerleader and trick-or-treat witch prayed for salvation and received Jesus Christ as their own personal Saviour.  They had both just now received the free gift of eternal life. They were now saved from their sins.  They were now born again.  And they were now on the road to become Bible verse people just like all of those Bible verse people who had cared enough for the souls of two grown-up trick-or-treaters to share so great salvation verses that they had memorized unto them.

            Flanders looked down upon himself wearing his old fetish of a girl’s cheerleader uniform.  He looked back up at Kyrie.  He said, “They wrecked my cheerleader uniform real bad.”

            “You will have to go and buy a new one, Flanders,” said Miss Kendricks.

            “No, Kyrie,” he declared.  “There shall no longer be cheerleader uniforms for this guy to wear.

I’m giving up cross dressing now that I am a born-again believer.”

            “You would do that for Jesus?” she asked.

            “Uh huh, Kyrie,” he promised.

            “Does that mean that you will start wearing guy’s clothes for now on?” she asked.

            “Yes, Kyrie,” he vowed.  “I hereby give up drag for Christ.”

            “Ooo, my cute guy wants to dress like a cute guy,” she said.

            “What do you think?” he asked.

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            “A girl like me likes that in a boyfriend like you, Flanders,” she said.  “I definitely will like the new you, handsome prince.”

            “Do you approve after all of these years?” he asked.

            “Uh huh, boyfriend,” said Miss Kyrie Kendricks.  “I most definitely approve.”

            She then looked down upon her tattered and torn prom dress.  “My trick-or-treat witch dress is also all ruined for me for the rest of my life, Flanders.  I cannot wear it again anymore.”

            “Are you going to get another black prom gown for next year’s Halloween, Kyrie?” he asked.

            “I will never dress up like a black witch again, Flanders,” she promised him.

            “Does that mean also, no more witch hat?” he asked.

            “Yes, Flanders.  That means also, no more witch hat on your girlfriend’s brunette hair,” vowed Kyrie Kendricks.

            “My girlfriend repents of being a trick-or-treat witch,” said Flanders in favor, the Holy Spirit guiding his thinking now as a new child of God.

            “Yes, Flanders,” said Kyrie Kay Kendricks.  “I shall renounce any more of my life from being a trick-or-treat witch again—both in Halloweens and in days not Halloween for the rest of my life.”

            “My girlfriend is becoming a good woman of the Lord,” said Flanders in spiritual approval.

            “I like the new me.  And I like the new you,” said Kyrie.

            “I like the new you, too.  And I like the new me, too,” said Flanders.

            “Let us go home now and get into something decent,” said his new girlfriend-in-Christ.

            “Something that glorifies our new Saviour,” he agreed as her new boyfriend-in-the-Lord.

            And right away they went home to change into apparel that suited their physical gender and that honored Jesus Christ.

            It is written, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature:  old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”  II Corinthians 5:17.

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