Identical twin sisters—Gretchen and Destiny Fables—and their boyfriends—Flanders and Proffery– live in four cabins along the perimeter of a paradise of sand dunes called ‘The Good Havens.’ And the four are born-again believers who go to the last good church in the Midwest of America—Second Advent Baptist Church. Lo, an evil unicorn comes along who threatens to wreck these sand dunes; he is the Baneful Unicorn. Lo, an evil griffin also comes along who threatens to raze the good Baptist church; he is the Baleful Griffin. Flanders, with his saber, and Proffery, with his crossbow, must take on these two evil demons in battle.
THE FABLED TIMES
Mr. Morgan P. McCarthy
The Table of Contents
Chapter I…………………………………………………………………………………………Page 1
Chapter II………………………………………………………………………………………..Page 11
Chapter III……………………………………………………………………………………….Page 23
Chapter IV……………………………………………………………………………………….Page 34
Chapter V………………………………………………………………………………………..Page 45
Chapter VI……………………………………………………………………………………….Page 55
Chapter VII………………………………………………………………………………………Page 67
Chapter VIII……………………………………………………………………………………..Page 79
Chapter IX……………………………………………………………………………………….Page 91
Chapter X……………………………………………………………………………………….Page 102
Chapter XI………………………………………………………………………………………Page 113
Chapter XII……………………………………………………………………………………..Page 125
Chapter XIII…………………………………………………………………………………….Page 137
Chapter XIV…………………………………………………………………………………….Page 149
Chapter XV……………………………………………………………………………………..Page 160
Chapter XVI…………………………………………………………………………………….Page 172
Chapter XVII……………………………………………………………………………………Page 184
Chapter XVIII…………………………………………………………………………………..Page 196
Chapter XIX…………………………………………………………………………………….Page 210
Chapter XX……………………………………………………………………………………..Page 223
Chapter XXI…………………………………………………………………………………….Page 234
Chapter XXII……………………………………………………………………………………Page 245
CHAPTER I
“Laddie,” called out the pom pom girl to her beloved pet he-Collie, “do you love me as I love you?”
The Collie dog replied, “Woof!” to his mistress in adoration.
The pom and dance girl then called out to him, “Are you happy being mine, O Laddie?”
The Collie dog responded with an ardent, “Whoof!”
“I am happy being yours,” sang forth the pom pom girl in the joy of a mistress. Then she asked, “Of all things that you love, do you love only the Good Lord more than you do me?”
“Oof!” barked the he-Collie in affirmation. And he buried his adoring head in his mistress’s affectionate arms.
This young woman’s name was “Gretchen.” Her full name was, “Miss Gretchen Liz Fables.”
She was a born-again Christian who lived mightily and daily for Jesus. She knew that she was going to Heaven, because she was a born-again believer. And she knew that anybody who was not born again was going to Hell. Today, once again as in every day of her life in Christ, Gretchen Fables had on her old college pom and dance girl uniform from the 1990’s. It was her old St. Norbert College Green Knights pom pom girl uniform from her days at college in De Pere, Wisconsin. Indeed did Gretchen
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treasure this garment with a fetish even greater than her affection for fair Laddie. The top of her pom and dance uniform was a green and gold and white over-sized sweater with long sleeves and cuffs and a hem around the bottom that hugged her waist. This pom and dance sweater was made of Orlon Acrylic. The bottom of her pom and dance uniform was a box-pleated skirt that reached nearly to her knees with green pleats divided up by contrasting alternating pleats of yellow and white and with a hem along the top, with a zipper/button closure in back. This pom pom girl skirt was made of Polyester Double knit. Gretchen the young woman was quite attractive, stood five feet two-and-one-half inches tall, and was delightfully slender of frame. And she was a grateful brunette with straight brown hair that reached to below her shoulders and with full brown bangs across her forehead. She was twenty-four years old. And she was born on October 9. And she was happy in her walk with Christ her personal Saviour.
“Am I pretty to you, Laddie?” asked Gretchen.
“Hoof!” barked Laddie.
She asked herself, “Are you pretty to your boyfriend?”
She remembered how her boyfriend always praised her, saying to her, “Brown hair rules, girl!”
“Am I pretty to You, too, O Heavenly Father?” she asked.
And she remembered the Word of God in Psalm 139:14, which said, “…; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made:…”
Here were three answers, and she now added her answer to these three about her doubts to her attraction: “Then I think that I am pretty, also,”
Mistress and Collie pet lived together in the countryside of Beaver, Wisconsin, immediately to the north of an enchanted sand dunes wrought by the Creator for beauty’s sake. Their home right here was called “The North Cabin,” and her front yard bordered a dusty and dry gravel road in the middle of great isolated countryside, and her backyard bordered the northern edge of this idyllic sand dunes. And
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pom and dance woman and he-Collie were enjoying fellowship together here at sunrise with the King James Bible, both sitting on the ground, their back parts in her yard, and their front parts out upon the Heavenly sand of dunes. Gretchen loved to read the Bible to Laddie, because he was a captive audience to her attention, even though he could not comprehend the Word of God that she spoke. And Laddie loved to sit and listen to his mistress read Words that only she could understand between the two of them, and because he could have her all to himself thus for another long happy time with her.
“From where should I read to you from the Good Book today, Laddie?” asked the pom and dance girl.
“Roof! Roof!” barked Laddie back in reply.
“I tell you, Laddie,” said Gretchen Fables, “I do believe that you can understand my English talk better than I can understand your dog talk.”
Ever wily and coy, the big Collie dog gave no bark of reply, but instead cocked his head to the side, half-cocked his Collie ears, and gave her a brown-eyed look.
“The Good Lord has made you and all other Collies out there, O Laddie, but you are my very favorite Collie of them all. You are even more handsome than Lassie was pretty.”
Then the pom and dance Christian woman began to page through her Holy Bible to see what she would like to read today in this light of sunrise coming from her left.
Then she settled on the one thing that she had never read yet from the Bible, even though not a day had ever gone by that she had not read her Holy Bible. It was the Epistle Dedicatory to the King James Version. Here was the official address from the King James Commission back in 1611 A.D. to King James, he who had appointed this commission to translate the inspired and true ancient manuscripts of the Greek and Hebrew Bible into one English language Bible. Hence the Authorized King James Version Bible–the only perfect Bible of this day and age here in the twentieth century.
And though this dedicatory were not the perfect Words of God that made up the King James Bible
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in its Holy Ghost inspiration, it was still a most noteworthy document to read now here with the rising yellow sun casting its golden light upon the sand dunes before them. This is what Gretchen Fables did read in the front of her Bible:
“TO THE MOST HIGH AND MIGHTY
PRINCE JAMES
BY THE GRACE OF GOD,
KING OF GREAT BRITAIN, FRANCE, AND IRELAND,
DEFENDER OF THE FAITH, & C.
THE TRANSLATORS OF THE BIBLE WISH
GRACE, MERCY, AND PEACE,
THROUGH JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD.
Great and manifold were the blessings, most dread Sovereign, which Almighty God, the Father of all mercies, bestowed upon us the people of England, when first he sent Your Majesty’s Royal Person to rule and reign over us. For whereas it was the expectation of many, who wished not well unto our Sion, that upon the setting of that bright Occidental Star, Queen Elizabeth of most happy memory, some thick and palpable clouds of darkness would so have overshadowed this Land, that men should have been in doubt which way they were to walk; and that it should hardly be known, who was to direct the unsettled State; the appearance of Your Majesty, as of the Sun in his strength, instantly dispelled those supposed and surmised mists, and gave unto all that were well affected exceeding cause of comfort; especially when we beheld the Government established in Your Highness, and Your hopeful Seed, by an undoubted Title, and this also accompanied with peace and tranquillity at home and abroad.
But among all our joys, there was no one that more filled our hearts, than the blessed continuance of the preaching of God’s sacred Word among us; which is that inestimable treasure, which excelleth all the riches of the earth; because the fruit thereof extendeth itself, not only to the time spent
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in this transitory world, but directeth and disposeth men unto that eternal happiness which is above in heaven.
Then not to suffer this to fall to the ground, but rather to take it up, and to continue it in that state, wherein the famous Predecessor of Your Highness did leave it: nay, to go forward with the confidence and resolution of a Man in maintaining the truth of Christ, and propagating it far and near, is that which hath so bound and firmly knit the hearts of all Your Majesty’s loyal and religious people unto You, that Your very name is precious among them: their eye doth behold You with comfort, and they bless You in their hearts, as that sanctified Person, who, under God, is the immediate Author of their true happiness. And this their contentment doth not diminish or decay, but every day increaseth and taketh strength, when they observe, that the zeal of Your Majesty toward the house of God doth not
slack or go backward, but is more and more kindled, manifesting itself abroad in the farthest parts of Christendom, by writing in defence of the Truth, (which hath given such a blow unto that man of sin, as will not be healed,) and every day at home, by religious and learned discourse, by frequenting the house of God, by hearing the Word preached, by cherishing the Teachers thereof, by caring for the Church, as a most tender and loving nursing Father.
There are infinite arguments of this right Christian and religious affection in Your Majesty; but none is more forcible to declare it to others than the vehement and perpetuated desire of accomplishing and publishing of this work, which now with all humility we present unto Your Majesty. For when Your Highness had once out of deep judgment apprehended how convenient it was, that out of the Original Sacred Tongues, together with comparing of the labours, both in our own, and other foreign Languages, of many worthy men who went before us, there should be one more exact Translation of the holy Scriptures into the English Tongue; Your Majesty did never desist to urge and to excite those to whom it was commended, that the work might be hastened, and that the business might be expedited in so decent a manner, as a matter of such importance might justly require.
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And now at last, by the mercy of God, and the continuance of our labours, it being brought unto such a conclusion, as that we have great hopes that the Church of England shall reap good fruit thereby; we hold it our duty to offer it to Your Majesty, not only as to our King and Sovereign, but as to the principal Mover and Author of the work: humbly craving of Your most Sacred Majesty, that since things of this quality have ever been subject to the censures of illmeaning and discontented persons, it may receive approbation and patronage from so learned and judicious a Prince as Your Highness is, whose allowance and acceptance of our labours shall more honour and encourage us, than all the calumniations and hard interpretations of other men shall dismay us. So that if, on the one side, we shall be traduced by Popish Persons at home or abroad, who therefore will malign us, because we are poor instruments to make God’s holy Truth to be yet more and more known unto the people, whom they desire still to keep in ignorance and darkness; or if, on the other side, we shall be maligned by self-conceited Brethren, who run their own ways, and give liking unto nothing, but what is framed by themselves, and hammered on their anvil; we may rest secure, supported within by the truth and innocency of a good conscience, having walked the ways of simplicity and integrity, as before the Lord; and sustained without by the powerful protection of Your Majesty’s grace and favour, which will ever give countenance to honest and Christian endeavours against bitter censures and uncharitable imputations.
The Lord of heaven and earth bless Your Majesty with many and happy days, that, as his heavenly hand hath enriched Your Highness with many singular and extraordinary graces, so You may be the wonder of the world in this latter age for happiness and true felicity, to the honour of that great GOD, and the good of his Church, through Jesus Christ our Lord and only Saviour.”
Thus was the pom and dance girl finished reading to her he-Collie this 1611 A.D. dedication of the Authorized King James Version Holy Bible. “Did you understand all of it, Laddie?” asked Gretchen Fables. The Collie pet shook his head in a, “Nay.”
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“I didn’t, either,” said the Christian woman. “But I like it.” Then she said, “It was neat. Wasn’t it, good boy?” And Laddie nodded his Collie head in an, “Aye.” Then Gretchen said, “I understand the Bible’s Words better than I understand the dedicatory’s words, though. That is because the Holy Spirit of God helps me to understand the Scriptures when I read them—a little truth learned here, a little truth learned there, and after a few years, a whole lot of truths known and lived in faith. God does that for His saints who read the Holy Bible.”
The mistress and her pet Collie were now half in and half out of the glory of the sand dunes. The pom and dance girl was sitting right where the grass of her yard ended and right where the sand of the sand dunes began. Her legs were out in front of her and resting upon the sand, and her arms were behind her, propping her up where she sat, her palms upon the grass. And Laddie was lying upon his stomach, his chin resting upon Gretchen’s lap, and his one side was upon the sand, and his other side was upon the grass. Gretchen said, “My legs in these sand dunes are so comfortable that it is like I am resting in a warm bed with many blankets in a cool bedroom.” Laddie felt his head and his side in these sand dunes to be most invigorating; he felt as if he were running in an Elysian Field free and happy in Jesus.
The pom pom girl spoke and said to Laddie, “You know how it was that it was Flanders who found these sand dunes from God.” Flanders was Gretchen’s boyfriend-in-the-Lord. Gretchen continued, “God calls these sand dunes ‘The Good Havens.’ These Good Havens are a Paradise on Earth. Behold our little Heaven here for us, Laddie. A great big sand dunes in Beaver, Wisconsin, personally enhanced by the Creator Himself. One mile by one mile of a sand dunes endowed by God’s own blessings. God is in these Good Havens in a way exceeded only by His Presence in Heaven Above. No evil can come in here. No sin can come in here. And no temptation can come in here.
I would say that life in the Good Havens is the closest thing to life in the Garden of Eden in the dispensation of innocence in Earth’s six-thousand-year history. Except here there can enter in no
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snake, no demon, no Devil. It is so holy a Haven that no flora and no fauna are within its borders. It is only for us who live around it in our four cabins, Laddie. God created it for only us four believers and our four pets—just for the eight of us.”
They could see the bright yellow light of the morning sun shine down upon the Good Havens from their left in effulgent and straight and descending rays from above. Each ray of yellow came down upon the Good Havens in individual vectors. Multitudes of grains of sand throughout these sand dunes here before mistress and dog reflected yellow sparkles from the rays from the sun in a shimmering glory of creation by a Most Wise Designer. And a warm and gentle west wind was blowing across the Good Havens from the two denizens’ right, and it felt like the breath of God Himself in His Goodness.
“Laddie,” said the pom and dance woman, “let’s go all the way into the sand dunes and feel even better than we do now.”
With a very canine savvy, the he-Collie replied by jumping up to his feet, and pouncing upon his mistress’s skirt pleats where she was sitting with his forelegs spread out, and standing up straight and playful, and by taking a single bound of a hop the first full step into the dunes beyond the yard of field grass.
In her own manner of game with her Collie pet, the pom pom girl also jumped to her feet, and she put her arms akimbo, and she kicked up first her left leg, and second, her right leg. Then she leaped and performed a flip in the air like a woman gymnast, and she landed most athletically upon her feet the full first step of the day into the Good Havens. And now dog and mistress basked in the love and the joy and the peace unmitigated of their celestial sand dunes. And they frolicked and roughhoused and raced in the Good Havens for a good hour of a rejoicing that none can find on Earth outside of the borders of these sand dunes. And they were filled up with the Good Spirit of God to the uttermost. Then they walked off of the Good Havens and back to the rest of the world here in the
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pastoral fields of Beaver.
In the spirit of a comic, the pom pom girl mistress this day again asked, “Laddie, what did the dog say when he sat on the sandpaper?”
“Ruff! Ruff!” barked Laddie.
“Oh, Laddie. You’re too much,” said Gretchen in great delights.
Just then the stomachs of mistress and pet both growled at the same time. “Shall we have breakfast, O Laddie?” she asked. And Laddie lifted his forelegs off of the ground and set them both down again simultaneously in a,”Yes.”
The two then went into her North Cabin, and the woman cooked up bacon and eggs and toast. And when she was done with making breakfast, they each sat down in the North Cabin with a platter of scrambled-egg-and-melted-shredded-cheese-and-toast sandwich and five pieces of smoked bacon off to the side. To drink, the pom and dance woman had white grapefruit juice, and her pet Collie had whole milk in a bowl. Laddie put his nose to her bare feet for a reminder. “Oh yes. I don’t remember all the time like a good Christian woman ought to.” Truly she needed to thank God for their breakfast right now. And she and her he-Collie shared a regard to their Provider with a word of prayer from the believer, thanking the Lord for this breakfast. Then they dug in. After they were done, their bellies both groaned at the same time in a full and comfortable feeling.
Laddie then went to the door and looked up at it, then back at his mistress. “You have to go,” said Gretchen Fables. “I think that I have to, also.” And she let the dog out, and she went out to the outhouse. “Thank You for my outhouse, O Lord,” she prayed in sincerity. And the two did their business. And when the pom pom girl came out of her outhouse, there stood faithful Laddie, waiting for her. Gretchen then said, “My boyfriend always says that I am built like a brick outhouse. What do you think he means by that, Laddie? Is that a good thing?” The he-Collie positively grinned with his muzzle and his teeth. And the pom and dance girl said, “It must be a thing that guys say about us gals.”
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She then stood outside here alongside her North Cabin and looked out upon her front yard and its dusty gravel road that passed by it, and she said, “It is written, O good boy of mine, ‘The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;’ That’s Song of Solomon 2:12.” This was a Bible verse about spring. And it was spring these days in Wisconsin here in the north country.
Then the pom and dance woman said, “You should have heard what a woman once said to me at work one day. I was working the cash register, and she was a customer, and she was from Maryland; and I, of course, living in Wisconsin. And she said to me, ‘The first month of spring in Wisconsin is all mud.’ What a weird thing to say, but definitely worth pondering, Laddie. Let’s see: Winter gets done; the snow begins to melt; the ground begins to thaw out; the water begins to flow; the earth is all wet; the grass has not begun growing; this is early spring in Wisconsin. Yes. I guess that would make it all mud, Laddie. That is a person from outside of our state talking this way about that which we all take as normal. The first month of spring in Maryland must be different from how it is here up north, Laddie.”
The wise and intellectually endowed Laddie then pointed to their sand dunes with his nose and remained in that position like a pointer dog. And Gretchen agreed and said, “Yes, Laddie, not our sand dunes. There is no mud in the Good Havens.”
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CHAPTER II
The master said to his pure white she-unicorn pet, “These indeed be happy days of Fabled Times for me, girl. I finally found a real and saved girlfriend in my life, and she is Gretchen Fables.
She had come into my life send by God. Before I had her, I was lonely. After she had become mine, I have been lonely no longer. The day we became boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ gave my life sweet magic of romance. Of all my days only the day I found the Lord Jesus as my personal Saviour was a bigger day than the day I became Gretchen’s boyfriend-in-the-Lord.
This man’s name was “Flanders.” His full name was “Flanders Arckery Nickels.” His she-unicorn’s name was “Bree.” And Flanders, like Gretchen, was twenty-four years old. Flanders, also, like the girl, was a born-again believer who loved God most of all. His new life these past few years with his beloved companion Gretchen Fables he did call “The Fabled Times.” And Gretchen Fables he did adoringly refer to as his “Fable.” So lonesome had he been earlier in his walk with Christ without a pretty girl in pretty clothes at his side that he could never see life with a girlfriend as anything more real than a fable. But in beautiful Gretchen a fable had come true. “O Bree, what do you think of Miss Fables my Fable?” the master asked his unicorn pet. And Bree tooted a note on her unicorn horn in a
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ready and hearty approval for the young woman. “I love you, Bree, for being my girlfriend’s friend.” said Flanders Nickels.
Master and pet lived together in the East Cabin. Being the East Cabin of course it lay alongside the eastern border of the Good Havens and just outside of it in the wild fields. Right now Flanders and Bree were at his picnic table worship site right in front of all of this celestial sand of his sand dunes from God. Flanders had a big brother who was a skilled woodworker, and it was this big brother who had made this picnic table for him for up here in Marinette County. On nice northern days and nights, Flanders often read his King James Bible and prayed his prayers to God as he sat upon this bench of the picnic table outside in God’s wrought weather. Flanders looked out unto these Good Havens right in front of him, and he saw the little whirlwinds of God skipping about and dancing across the surface of this Paradise. God the Maker was playing now in the Good Havens. “Do you see them, Bree girl?” asked Flanders, “all of those little whirlwinds?” The she-unicorn tooted an affirmation on her unicorn horn in reply. “There must be a hundred of them,” said Flanders. As God played His fascinating game upon these sand dunes from Above, the two witnesses saw some whirlwinds ascend back up to Heaven, only to see new whirlwinds descend back down from Heaven. “God has fun, too, girl,” said Flanders.
In glorification of the Creator, Bree began to toot the melody of the hymn “How Great Thou Art,” on her unicorn horn, and Flanders went on to sing the chorus to this song of God:
“Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee;
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee;
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!”
Day was now passing on from late afternoon to early evening. The sunset was not far away. And dusk would follow shortly after. The sky was rife with just the right clouds for a most majestic sunset this evening. And Flanders always came out here just to see God’s sunsets every day. And the wonder that he did behold thus was right straight ahead of where he was sitting. He did not have to
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turn right or left; he could see it clearly straight on from upon his bench of his picnic table with his East Cabin behind him and the Good Havens in front of him. Standing upon her four hooves, his unicorn Bree remained faithfully at his right side, watching with him this evening’s sunset being formed. It already looked divine; it would soon become celestial. Flanders began to recite Scripture about God’s painting in progress in the western skies right now. “Bree, it is written, ‘Among the gods there is none like unto thee, O Lord; neither are there any works like unto thy works.’ Psalm 86:8.” Then the Christian man said, “It is written, ‘Who is like unto thee, O Lord, among the gods? Who is like thee, glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders?’ Exodus 15:11.” Then Flanders Nickels said, “Again it is written, O my Bree, ‘For I know that the Lord is great, and that our Lord is above all gods. Whatsoever the Lord pleased, that did he in heaven, and in earth, in the seas, and all deep places.’ Psalm 135:5-6.” Thus the God Who worked and made sunsets and dusks.
And before their eyes the promise of a greatest sunset yet upon the Good Havens attained fruition unto a true sunset of sunsets unlike any upon the natural Earth. Flanders beheld yellows and oranges and reds and purples upon the effulgent clouds to the west. The purple clouds were like unto islands. The orange skies about them were like unto a sea lit up by the sun. The reds were like unto a Shechinah glory hovering above island and sea. And the yellows were like unto an Earth before God created rain. Flanders gazed upon this inimitable sunset in great muted awe. So, too, did his unicorn.
And yet, as if this were not glorious enough, this sunset of sunsets went on to become truly the dusk of all dusks that Flanders had ever seen in his twenty-four years of life—both in his months here at the Good Havens and also in his years before he had discovered the Good Havens. The great disk of sun at the edge of the horizon turned from yellow to orange; then from orange to red; then from red to purple. And as this were taking place these four changing colors of the sun ninety-three millions of miles away began to fall down upon the sand dunes like unto radiant and warm drops of color. First drops of yellow fell upon the sand dunes; then drops of orange began to fall upon the sand dunes; then
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drops of red started to fall upon the sand dunes; then, lastly, purple drops began to rain down upon the sand dunes. And dusk of dusks was now drawing near to twilight.
Flanders recited all due and apt Scripture now to God and to unicorn: “’The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork. Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge. There is no speech nor language, where their voice is not heard. Their line is gone out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world. In them hath he set a tabernacle for the sun, Which is as a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, and rejoiceth as a strong man to run a race. His going forth is from the end of the heaven, and his circuit unto the ends of it: and there is nothing hid from the heat thereof.’ Psalm 19:1-6, my Lord and my God and O very good Bree.”
And day now turned to twilight of night. Master and she-unicorn had just witnessed a miracle of setting sun out into their paradise of sand dunes. And it was time to turn in for the night. And Flanders and Bree crossed the backyard and went into their East Cabin. And Flanders went on to tell his pet the story that they both knew about how all of this Good Havens had first come about for them just a few years ago here in northern Wisconsin amid great isolation and countrysides. The following narrative tells this true and most God-honoring tale:
Flanders Nickels was discovering the book of Hebrews for his first time. He had already found salvation in Christ his Saviour. He had already found his wonderful pet Bree. He had already found his girlfriend-in-Christ Gretchen. And he was still living at home at his Mom and Dad’s house. And this day he was enjoying his Bible study with God in the porch, rocking on the porch swing as he read and underlined with his pencil. And the young man in Christ came to Hebrews chapter eleven, that famous “honor roll of faith” chapter in the Bible. And he read all about the great faith of the patriarch Abraham, whom the Bible called, “the friend of God.” It was written about this man of faith in verses eight, nine, and ten, “By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should
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after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went. By faith he sojourned in the land of promise, as in a strange country, dwelling in tabernacles with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise: For he looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God.” Abraham, four thousand years ago, was told by God in essence, “Go on a long journey for Me to a place that you know neither where it is nor how to get there. I will bring you there with My hand. And when you get there, you will know that that is My place for you. Then settle down there and make your house there and do not leave there.” To Flanders, this place, as described in the last of these three verses, sounded like a paradise made by the Lord. Then the Holy Spirit in His still small voice told Flanders there on the porch swing, “My son, go now and do likewise now. Do it in faith. Doubt not; delay not; deny not.”
Caught up in the Spirit of God, Flanders Nickels stood up from the porch swing, set his King James Bible upon the seat of the swing, and said, “I go now, O Lord.” And he went outside through the back porch door, and he discovered a strange and unfamiliar donkey standing there. A still small voice spoke to him again from the Holy Ghost, “As a donkey had carried the Son of God into Jerusalem in His Triumphal Entry, this donkey will bring you into the place where you must go, My good and faithful son.” And in obedience and not without the wonder of adventure in the Lord, Flanders mounted this donkey. And this donkey began to stroll due north from this house.
He rode this donkey long, and as he was riding, he was ruminating on how Heaven was somewhere north beyond the farthest star. He knew that in Isaiah 14:13, it was written that Heaven “was in the sides of the north.” And he knew about the verse Psalm 75:6, which alluded to Heaven being somewhere due north, this verse saying, “For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south.” Could this “promotion” be the rapture? Or dying and going to the third Heaven? Or maybe going to a type of Garden of Eden? Flanders was to find out. The donkey sent by God would take him there.
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Then up ahead Flanders could see a great and dark woods of conifers. Right now he was in the warm sunlight of a pastoral meadow of tall field grass swaying in the winds. But he knew that this forest of evergreens did lie between him and his place where God had him to go. It looked spooky and cold and foreboding. And, to his dismay, the donkey from God did not turn to the right or to the left in his transporting of Flanders. Yes, this donkey brought Flanders right up to the edge of this forest. And the donkey stopped. Flanders had to dismount. He knew that this woods was not the destination of this pilgrimage. He knew that this forest was a part of the pilgrimage necessary before its completion. Flanders dismounted the Lord’s donkey and poked his head into this forest of conifers, keeping his feet back in the warm meadow. His feet felt warm, and his head felt cold. There was an uncomfortable and discomfiting dankness to this eerie forest. He then took one step into this chilly woods, and, behold, there was a maze in this dark woods full of evergreen trees. How could a donkey help him get through a maze such as this? Just then he heard the sound of a great whirling wind from back in the warm field, and he looked back and did see his donkey being lifted up into the skies above the tallest conifers in a gentle gray tornado. Flanders understood in the Lord that the donkey was being taken away from him for a little while and that in the fulness of time the donkey would be brought back to him. The good donkey brayed, but it was a bray of contentment. God would be gentle with his animal. Flanders would see his good friend in another time, maybe on the other side of the maze in the woods. God was good. And God did good. Then Flanders turned back to the coniferous deep woods and its maze. The walls of the labyrinth were single-file conifers with impervious fog to both sides and between the conifers. And the lanes were about three feet wide and as high as the trees and had a walking foundation of forest dirt filled up with brown needles and many pine cones. The canopy to this forest was higher than any building made by man and did let in no sunlight to shine upon the paths of this
forest labyrinth. And whether the dark made the coolness more cool, or whether the coolness made the dark more dark, Flanders could not tell. This maze must be the storm before the calm. He must
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suffer trial before he could enjoy blessing. God would help him through this forest maze. Without further ado, Flanders began his work through the labyrinth. He chose his turns with study, and he made great progress, and he found no ends of lanes that blocked his way. He thought that he was getting pretty good at mazes on the ground now. Suddenly he came to a dead end. Ahead was a row of trees; to his right was a row of trees; and to his left was a row of trees. He had come upon his first end of land that blocked his way. Flanders had somewhere taken the wrong turn for this maze. He had to go back a way and try to find the right way to go and then resume his work with this woods maze. And he walked back some distance which he had erroneously covered.
Then he found an intersection in the maze that was a fork in the maze. He had not see this fork earlier. This single path opened up to two other paths—one that led to the left, and one that led to the right. This was becoming confusing. He had to choose which one to travel. The lane to the left looked beckoning and easy. The lane to the right…why it was full of bats flying and swooping about. All this time he had not seen any bats, and now there were lots of bats. He pondered, but he did not pray.
Flanders had no desire to swat at bats in the air. He chose the path to the left, the lane that had no bats. And he marched down this lane in determination. And he continued making thought-out decisions in his turns and in his steps. Lo, he soon came upon another dead end of a path. He had taken a wrong turn again in this evergreen forest maze. There was no way to continue on in this direction. He had to go back, maybe, to that first fork. And with effort he went back and did find it. He stood at the start of that right path, saw all the bats, and said, “Okay, Lord. I will suffer the bats.” And he walked down this previously rejected trail in the maze. It did not take any time before the bats saw him and sought to turn him back with temptation. Immediately one bat swooped down from a low branch above Flanders’s head and did light upon Flanders’s head. It grabbed Flanders by his hair on top of his head and held on with no reason with his bat claws. On the defensive, Flanders shook his head to get it free from this bat, but the bat did not let go. Flanders then began to try to swipe at the bat upon his head
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with his palms to try to knock it off of his head. But it did not let go and fly away. And the bat cried out in a squeak. Why, it was stuck! This careless bat had gotten himself stuck in Flanders’s hair. Flanders’s hair was longer than most men’s hair, but shorter than most women’ s hair. And a careless bat could not now extricate himself from Flanders’s head. This bat in Flanders’s hair made things worse for this maze-traveler by flapping its wings and jerking its body and scraping his claws where they were stuck. In this great trouble, Flanders turned to God, and he prayed, “Lord, please free this careless bat from my head.” Lo, suddenly this bat broke free, pulling out strands of Flanders’s hair in doing so, and it flew away, not to come back again to the man of prayer. “I so thank You, God,” prayed Flanders Nickels. Flanders wondered to himself, “When will the next bat come after me?”
But he knew that this bat-infested path were the right path in the Lord for him to take to work himself through this maze in the woods. Satan saw this good pilgrim faithfully walking in Christ through this trial, and the Devil saw to it that this Christian suffer for it. The Devil persecuted born-again believers in their temptations when God was giving them victory over these temptations, because the Devil was jealous of Jesus and of His believers. When Flanders was previously walking through the wrong paths in his walk through this labyrinth, the Devil made sure that it was easy and pleasant
to continue on making wrong decisions in Christ, and the Devil did not send the bats against Flanders in these wrong lanes. So, Flanders learned, where the bats were not, he must not go; and where the bats were, he must go. God was with this Christian in this coniferous maze. He must choose the Lord and resist the Devil.
It was not long at all in this correct lane for Flanders before the next bat came along to hinder him in his walk in Christ. It came right at him from the level of Flanders’s face, and Flanders jerked his face away from this second bat just before it could clock him in his forehead. Though this bat missed his face, it did not miss his neck. And its claws clamped down upon the base of the neck and the beginning of the collarbone along Flanders’s right side. And this one hurt Flanders physically. This
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bat was truly a reckless bat. Flanders reached his arms up and tried to grab this reckless bat in his two hands. He desperately needed to pull this bat off of his self before it could hurt him worse. But the reckless bat kept biting at Flanders’s fingers each time he sought to grab it. And Flanders found his hands bleeding from these bat bites. And Flanders’s collarbone felt worse than did his hands. Then Flanders sought his Heavenly Father and prayed, “Lord, have mercy on me, and get this reckless bat off of me lest I die.” Behold, suddenly the form of the reckless bat went limp upon Flanders’s body, and it fell off of Flanders, and it crashed down upon the forest floor, and it did not move. Kneeling down to look at it, Flanders found that this bat was dead. The prayer-answering God had smitten this reckless bat dead. Flanders saw that he was bleeding some on the collar of his shirt. But he thanked God. He was going to be all right. And this reckless bat would hurt him no more. And, bold in Christ, he resumed following the Lord’s leading through this evergreen maze in the woods.
And a third bat came from the evil tempter Lucifer to turn the pilgrim away from the way of God. But this one came from behind. Unseen by Flanders, it flew right into the middle of Flanders’s back with a crash. And it clung to the back of Flanders’s shirt, its grip not upon the person of Flanders.
It was almost like an accident, but it was still from the Devil. Flanders turned his head around to try to see what it was doing there on his back, but he could not see it for the limits of his human neck bones in their turns. He then heard it cry out a quite doleful crying. This bat was a hapless bat. And this hapless bat was holding on to the back of Flanders’s shirt for dear life. This bat did not weigh down hard upon Flanders’s backbone where the bat was hanging. But its doleful calling forth brought upon this lane of the maze other doleful callings forth from other hapless bats in the trees nearby. Indeed this bat was summoning other bats like unto itself to come and join it. And they were beginning to answer this summons. And one came very soon, And it lighted upon Flanders’s back, and it held on tightly to the back of Flanders’s shirt. Two hapless bats weighed more than one hapless bat. And a third hapless bat swooped down upon Flanders’s back of his shirt and also held on to the shirt there upon his
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back. Three hapless bats made it hard for Flanders to keep his back straight where he stood. Doleful summons and doleful replies filled the woods here in this part of the maze. Pretty soon his whole back was full of these hapless bats. And he could hardly stand up with this weight hanging on behind himself. And he prayed to God, saying, “Father, I entreat You, if You would, to take away these bats from off of my back.” At once these bats all flew off of him quite simultaneously. Flanders then prayed, “My Lord, would you keep any more hapless bats off of me in my work here through this labyrinth?” And God sent away these hapless bats from out of the branches and deep into the woods to both sides of the maze, not to bother Flanders again. Flanders thanked God.
Flanders continued to study and to work the maze according to where the bats were waiting for him. And he chose a turn into one lane that was full of vampire bats. “Lord, these carry rabies,” he said. Then he turned his faith upon the prayer-answering God, and he prayed for deliverance just as he had done a moment ago, and he said, “Lord, would you take away these vampire bats from this maze for me as well?” Lo! The vampire bats remained. God did not take them away. It was God’s will that Flanders endure these vampire bats in this path of the labyrinth. And most gingerly did Flanders Nickels work his way through these lanes of vampire bats. God made sure that he did not get bitten even once. It was not the Lord’s will that Flanders get sick with rabies.
Then Flanders saw up ahead beautiful yellow sun of daylight. He was coming to the end of this valley of testings. He was now finishing up the maze of conifers. And the Holy Spirit said to him, “Well done, My good and faithful servant. The good donkey that I had lent you and that I had taken back from you I now give back to you and lend to you for the consummation of your pilgrimage.”
“God is good,” said Flanders.
And he came out of the cold dark forest and stepped out into a warm sunny meadow. He looked up and praised the God of victory over temptation. And he saw a benign gray tornado bringing back down to the earth his borrowed donkey from God, only now on this other side of the great woods. The
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wonderful donkey brayed in gladness. No donkey ever looked better before to Flanders than this one lighting upon the field grass before him right now. And the gray tornado ascended back up to Heaven.
And just then Flanders felt that the wounds he had incurred from the bats were healed; he hurt no more.
Flanders said, “My Jesus, it is written, ‘For he maketh sore, and bindeth up: he woundeth, and his hands make whole.’ Job 5:18.” God had just used Satan to glorify God Himself. Then Flanders ran up to the donkey from God, and he threw his arms around his neck and hugged him long and hard. “Hee haw,” went the donkey. He was an affectionate donkey. Then Flanders Nickels mounted the Lord’s donkey, and the donkey took him the rest of the way unabated and without trials and quite soon after to the place where God wanted him to be. The donkey stopped. Flanders dismounted. Before him was a simple and plain sand dunes in the wilderness of northern Wisconsin. It looked normal, natural, non-magical.
Then this ordinary sand dunes began to change as he stood there looking out upon it. The Heavens above these sand dunes opened up. The Spirit of God Himself descended down upon these sand dunes like a dove. And the sand dunes became transfigured by the Most Wise Designer. And now these sand dunes were spiritual, supernatural, spellbinding. And a voice called down from Heaven with the authority and sovereignty of the Maker, declaring, “Behold My work upon these sand dunes in which I am well-pleased. You shall call this creation of sand dunes ‘The Good Havens.’ My son Flanders, move here; live here; thrive here; worship here; be happy here. I give you this paradise enhanced by My trinity of Father and Son and Holy Ghost. And I give it also to your Christian friends.
Behold, My good and faithful soldier. They come now, riding donkeys.” Then the Most High voice stopped speaking. Flanders fully understood now why God had him to go through the maze in the woods. He was being tested by God to see if he were worthy of these Good Havens. God knew what was in his heart ahead of time, but Flanders had needed to see what was in his heart. He had prevailed in Christ in His testings, and now he had these glorified sand dunes as a reward from God.
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He ran toward his fellow born-again believers. His three fellow born-again believers dismounted and did run toward him. His girlfriend said, “Flanders, I have passed the test of the valley of water!”
His best friend said, “Flanders, I had passed the test of the valley of fire!”
His best friend’s girlfriend said, “Flanders, I passed the test of the valley of air!”
And Flanders said, “My test of valleys was of the earth! I passed my test, too!”
“What are these so-awesome sand dunes, boyfriend?” asked Gretchen.
“They are given to us to joy and rejoice in for the rest of our lives,” Flanders said.
“Brother Flanders,” said his best friend, “’the Lord bless thee and keep thee.’ Numbers 6:24.”
“Boyfriend,”said Gretchen, “’the Lord make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee.’ Numbers 6:25.”
“Flanders, good friend,” said his best friend’s Christian girlfriend, “’The Lord lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.’ Numbers 6:26.”
“Brothers-and-sisters-in-Christ, as concludes the Holy Bible, so do I now say as we commence our new lives here at the Good Havens, ‘The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.’ Revelation 22:21,” said Flanders Arckery Nickels.
“This looks like the eastern side of these Good Havens that we are standing in front of, boyfriend,” said Gretchen.
“I’ll take this east side to live next to,” said Flanders.
“Then I will take the north side,” said Gretchen.
“I’ll pick the west side,” said Flanders’s best friend.
“And I will choose the south side,” said Flanders’s best friend’s girlfriend.
And the fellowship group of four moved in here on the outskirts of this giant sand dunes, and they built together one cabin for each of the four Christians in the locations which they had chosen.
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CHAPTER III
Her name was “Destiny.” She had shoulder-length, straight brown hair with full bangs, was short for a woman, and was twenty-four years old. Her full name was “Miss Destiny Jean Fables.” Destiny was the identical twin sister of Gretchen, herself also born on October 9. And she was the little sister to Gretchen. Destiny had been born three-and-one-half minutes after her big sister. But she now stood a little taller than her big twin sister, Destiny being five feet three inches tall. And Destiny was just as saved as was Gretchen, herself being a most spiritual born-again Christian also herself.
But unlike her pom pom girl twin sister, Destiny Fables was a cheerleader. Of course, Destiny was a St. Norbert College Green Knights cheerleader, attired in green and gold and white. For a cheerleader top, she had a cheerleader vest with a V-Neck in her former college’s colors. And for a cheerleader bottom, she had a cheerleader skirt with knife pleats of green and a zipper/button closure in the back.
And with her now was Donner, her adored and adoring male German Shepherd. Mistress and pet lived together in the South Cabin, and her yard bordered the south boundary of the Good Havens. “Donner,” called forth Destiny sweetly, “do you see the stars sparkle back at us in the sand dunes out
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there?”
Donner gave forth a happy and blissful baying as he looked out upon them here in the dark of night.
It was midnight again for mistress and pet together here at this edge of their yard next to the Good Havens. The full moon was shining big and bright upon these Good Havens from directly above at the highest point of the sky. “The moon looks like it is a kind of sun of a high noon, Donner,” said Destiny, referring to the moon’s location in the nighttime sky right now. “Midday sun. Midnight moon.”
The German Shepherd then turned to the full moon with his gaze, and now he was baying up at the moon. Such a melody did big dogs and wild wolves make in the countryside fields of Beaver, Wisconsin, with their baying. To Destiny it was like listening to a hymn or a carol. “Mom always used to tell us two girls, ‘The moon is made of green cheese,’” said Destiny Fables. “At first I believed. Then I got older, and I knew better. I cannot remember ever having seen green cheese in the dairy departments of the grocery stores, Donner. But I did see green cheese in my refrigerator in our cabin the other day. I didn’t eat it. It’s outside now somewhere in the front yard. The birds might eat it.”
Then Donner ceased his canine song of the wild. And Destiny quickly came to enjoy the natural quiet of these sand dunes here. “My, my. I have never seen so many stars in the sky before than I do now,” said the mistress. This midnight, the Maker was putting on quite a show for the Christian lady and her German Shepherd. “I must surely see thousands!” said the daughter of God.
And the sands of these Good Havens were all reflecting the most multitudinous tiny white lights that were these stars above this paradise. “This is better than seeing all the pieces of reflecting sun skipping across the waves of a river in the daytime, O Donner,” said the born-again cheerleader. With the intelligence that God had given him, the German Shepherd admired this glittering upon the Good Havens with his mistress, the dog moving his eyes and his muzzle as he looked from the one to another
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for a long peaceful while of silence in awe of the Creator’s creation.
“I do believe that I can see some planets up there, too, good boy,” said the cheerleader believer.
“I know my astronomy. I took it in college.” Then she said, “That one must be Mars. And this other one must be Venus. They are both bigger than the stars. They’re both closer than the stars. Mars is real cold. Venus is real hot.” Then she said, “And I think that I also see Jupiter over there. And there I think that I see Saturn. Those are the two big planets in our solar system. Jupiter has the most moons. And Saturn has lots of rings around it.”
Donner raised his nose and kissed Destiny’s nose with his tongue in affection. “O Donner, I love you more as your mistress than I as a little girl ever loved Rin Tin Tin. And you are better than Won Ton Ton, ‘the dog who saved Hollywood.’” These two dogs were famous German Shepherds in years long ago.
Destiny continued, “Do you know what your name means, Donner?” asked the cheerleader.
“It means, ‘thunder.’” Donner nodded his sagacious canine head. “And you are the only dog I know who is not afraid of God’s thunder. In fact you love to hear thunder. I guess that I named you right, boy.” She leaned down and kissed Donner on his head.
Then more miracles from God in the skies above the Good Havens began to take place. A fiery flaming comet shot across the sky like a rocket. The meteorologists had not predicted a comet in their forecasts. But the God of these sand dunes brought one now just for Destiny Fables to see and to enjoy.
After this a bunch of asteroids exploded across the skies. Then a meteor began to fall down from the heavens. And it became a meteorite. And it burned up and dissolved before it could reach the sand dunes. The another phenomenon happened in the universe above the sand dunes out here. Suddenly a star got much brighter than it was just a moment earlier. “Look, Donner. A real live nova! In a few months or years, it will get back to its original brightness,” said Destiny. Then another star suddenly got very very much brighter that this nova star, and it actually blew up! “Why, Donner, did that star just
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explode? That must have been a supernova! That star will never come back in a few months or years,” said the former college cheerleader. Then along came a real Aurora in the upper atmospheres “Ooo, streamers and arches of light in the sky, good Donner,” said his mistress. “This must be God’s grand finale of his great show for us tonight. The sky is absolutely beautiful at night every night above our wondrous Good Havens, O Donner.” Then she said “Up here in the northern hemisphere of our Earth we call this the ‘Aurora Borealis.’ But down in the southern hemisphere for them they call theirs the ‘Aurora Australis.’” In reply the German Shepherd pointed his right paw outward first to the north, then to the south. “Yes, Donner,” said his born-again mistress. “They are also called ‘the northern lights’ and ‘the southern lights.’” Then the northern lights faded away. And now once again the big bright full moon became the predominant night light upon these sand dunes and her backyard out here.
“Shall we look at our pictures again out here in the sand dunes, Donner, in the light of the big bright moon?” she asked. And the German Shepherd gave forth a sound of a wolf bark in an “Aye.” The cheerleader mistress hopped and skipped back to the south cabin, and she hopped and skipped back to the edge of the sand dunes. In her hands was a shoe box full of photographs of Donner and the cheerleader Destiny. As soon as she and he entered in upon the sand dunes with the box of pictures and did sit down upon the enchanted sand, the whippoorwills began to sing their song. Destiny Fables took out one picture and she and Donner looked upon it under the white moon. “There you are, Donner, on your rug in my room, just waking up from a nap. You are lying upon your side, and you have your head half on the rug and half off of the rug. And you have one eye open and one eye shut.” Destiny took out another photograph and showed this one to her wise pet German Shepherd and said, “Here you are sitting on your rug in Mom and Dad’s living room. It is a hot summer day. And the box fan is blowing air on you where you sit. You were cooling off your canine self in front of the family’s fan.”
She then took out a third picture, and she showed it to him and did say to him, “Here you are, playing your game.” Donner’s game, one he had made up all by himself, was a virtual assault upon his metal
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bowl. In this game, the German Shepherd pushed his steel bowl all over the yard with his nose, as he barked and attacked it, sometimes making it airborne, oftentimes making it roll far on the ground, always assailing it. “I remember that first time that you did that for us, Donner,” said Destiny Fables. “Every one of us so quickly came to delighting in it that we all ‘oooed’ and ‘ahhhed.’ How much you did love all the attention that you got from us in the family, Donner, as you played your game for us that first time. Now you do it for the four of us up here in Beaver. And you love to play it, and we four all love to watch it. Donner, our God made something truly wondrous when He made you.” The mistress then pulled out another picture for them to see, and this one was of her and her boyfriend just about to kiss. “Don’t look at this one, Donner. It seems that my big sister was camera happy. I never did get even with her for taking this picture.” The German Shepherd cocked his head to the side at her and gave her a brown-eyed look. And the cheerleader confessed, “But I do like to look at this one.” Destiny pulled out another picture, and woman and dog saw the cheerleader performing a cartwheel, her self upside-down, her skirt hanging down backwards to her midriff, and her green undergarment down there in full view. “My boyfriend took this picture at the Green Knight basketball game,” admitted Destiny, “And when I saw it, I told him,‘You’re dead., boyfriend.’ But I never killed him, Donner. He loves to look at this one. I feel kind of silly when I look at it. You should not see this one, either.” The German Shepherd replied with a blank look in his countenance. “These things do not faze dogs,” said Destiny. “You have good sense, Donner.” The saved mistress then pulled out another picture for them to look at in the moonlight here in the sand dunes. This one was of the cheerleader holding the big German Shepherd in her bare arms three feet off of the ground. “One might ask, ‘What was I doing in this picture?’” said Destiny, “but you know, boy, because you were there.” And she said, “Gretchen’s boyfriend was going on telling us twin girls how much stronger that God made men than He had made women. And I got my female pride all riled up, and I reached down to grab you and to lift you up in both arms up to my chest. And I did it. I thought that I proved Flanders wrong, but then
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my arms gave out, and I dropped you, and you landed on your bottom. I hurt my arms, and I hurt your tailbone, and I was sorry for you. Flanders was right. Men are stronger than women. God made men different from women. Right after you got hurt, Flanders picked you up carefully in his arms and carried you to my South Cabin and took care of your wounds. And my boyfriend took me to the doctor so that my arms could get better. We women sometimes think with our hearts to our own undoing, but men think with their heads and do not go astray so much.”
They continued looking at their ‘family pictures as mistress and dog’ in days here at the sand dunes and in their days before here at the sand dunes. And after another hour, they were satisfied. The music of the whippoorwills continued here in the paradise. And their song inspired the cheerleader Christian to again get on her knees and to thank God for the creation that He had created. And Destiny Fables knelt down upon the sand dunes, with Donner in obeisance faithfully silent and respectful at her side; and she prayed a praise prayer to the Maker about the wilderness of northern Wisconsin here in Marinette County all around her and around this Good Havens: “Dear Father in Heaven above: I praise You for all the trees that You gave me in my back yard and in my front yard. I see the Birch trees from here. You have given Birch trees their white bark, indeed bark far different than any other bark of other trees. It is almost like white paper. I see also my pine trees out there. They are green all four seasons of the year. One of my favorite Christmas carols is called, ‘O Christmas Tree.’ I see also, Good Lord, weeping willow trees. They have such small narrow leaves, but there are so many of these leaves that they still make comfortable shade trees in hot summer days. I see also a row of arbor vitae trees. Why they are spires of majesty! Their branches are so short, and their trunks are so tall; and each of these trees are three of me in height. And I see Catalpa trees. I know of no other trees whose leaves are so large as these. Even rhubarb leaves are not much bigger than Catalpa tree leaves. And I see Sumac trees. None of these grow big and tall like regular trees. And their branches feel somewhat fuzzy. Look at Your Box Elder trees, O Lord. That towering Box Elder tree along Highway 141 here
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in Beaver, where we all turn off onto the first gravel road of the many gravel roads to come home—why, it’s been there for forever, and it will be there for forever. And I praise You, Father God, also for your Oak trees. Who but You could think to make acorns for oak trees to replenish the earth? And their leaves are just what I have come to think of what a tree leaf looks like here in Wisconsin. Oak tree leaves are symmetrical, just like my Donner’s markings are symmetrical on his German Shepherd face. And I praise You for all Maple trees. Their leaves are also symmetrical. Maple tree leaves turn red in the fall. And Canada’s national flag has a red maple leaf in its center.”
In this way did the cheerleader believer continue onward praising the Maker of all Wisconsin trees that she had in her countryside up here. Not one tree lived in the sand dunes. Destiny knew that even trees would take away from the divine nature of the Good Havens. There were no trees and no plants growing in these sand dunes. And wild animals and tame animals that were not of these four born again believers were not to stand upon these sand dunes. Only the four born-again believers and their four pets moved around in these Good Havens in their lives. Other men and women and boys and girls were not to trespass into these Good Havens, either. Even angels were not a natural part of these Good Havens. And most surely no demons dared trespass into God’s paradise that He had made for the four Christians. Indeed the rest of all people everywhere from throughout this Earth had never found out about these sand dunes. God made sure to keep these Fair Havens from being corrupted by unregenerate sinners and their sins. No person who was unsaved was going to walk about in this paradise and ruin it with their inherent sin natures. Only these four regenerate sinners—that is, these four residents around these sacred dunes of sand—did God allow to come into these Good Havens.
Thinking now about symmetry of face and asymmetry of face, Destiny Fables said, “Donner, though your German Shepherd face is symmetrical, mine as a woman is not symmetrical. People’s faces are not the same on the one side as they are on the other side. I know. I saw something about this one time with the face of Edgar Allen Poe in a magazine. The photographer took the left side of this
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famous writer’s face, made a mirror image of it, and set it up on the right side of his face. Now, with this trick photography, Poe had a symmetrical face. But it did not look like his real full face in his actual real photo. Then this photographer took Poe’s right side of his face, made a mirror image of that, and then set it up on the left side of his face. He had a symmetrical face once again in this other trick photograph, and he looked different from his real actual face here, too. And both mirror image photographs with trick symmetry looked different one from another. I wonder if I can find out what I look like with these kinds of tricks if I go and get my little mirror.” Though it was well after midnight, being here in Good Havens had a most rejuvenating spirit to it, especially in the dark under the full moon. And Destiny Fables ran to her South Cabin to get her little hand mirror, and she came back to look into it in the white dim moonlight. She set the mirror at its edge up against her nose and sought to try to see a trick reflection with the left side of her face as she looked into it. And she said, “Why, Donner, I see my hair on the left side of my head is in here the exact same as my hair on the right side of my head. This does not look like me. Do you think, maybe that my hair covers the sides of my head differently on the one side as it does the other side?” She then turned the mirror to the other side, did set it on its edge against her nose, and she scrutinized the right half of her face with its reflection in her mirror. “Now again my hairstyle is the same on both sides of my head, and I do not see myself the way I really look. Yes, Donner. Even my brown hair the way I have it is different right and left. I never knew that simple shoulder-length straight brown hair could be so hard to keep alike.” She then held her mirror straight before herself and studied her brown hair in her actual real full reflection. “I wonder what my cute boyfriend can possibly see in me, O Donner. He’s my wonderful guy. And he does nice things for me. And he’s a hunk. He always cuts firewood for me with his ax so that I can be warm in my South Cabin in the winter months. And he loves dogs—especially big dogs. He especially loves you, Donner. And he is a fun joker, too. I once teased him and said, ‘You go after my dog, so you can get me.’ And he went and said back to me, ‘No, Destiny, I go after you, so I can get the dog.’ But he
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loves my big sister’s Collie, too. He does not play favorites between you and Laddie, Donner.”
The German Shepherd then turned his head diagonally and gave his mistress a brown-eyed look.
The mistress knew exactly what he meant. And she said, “Of course he plays favorites with me over Gretchen. I am his girlfriend, and Gretchen is not his girlfriend. He always looks at me in ways that he never looks at her. For some reason, he has fallen for me and not for her even though we two sisters are identical twins.” This was so true for Destiny’s boyfriend-in-the-Lord. The cheerleader laughed knowingly upon her German Shepherd’s clever thinking, comparing the boyfriends’ favorites of the two dogs to the boyfriends’ favorites of the two girls. Then the mistress laughed and said, “I’m a dog!” Donner gave forth a confused expression when she said this, and he looked down at his fore paws. “I’m sorry, good boy. When a woman calls her German Shepherd ‘a dog,’ that is a good thing.. But when a woman calls herself ‘a dog,’ that is not a good thing. I was just teasing myself in front of you. My boyfriend would never say that to me the way he says that to you, good boy.” And Donner’s countenance beamed in gladness once again.
A cloud now began to pass across the moon above the Fair Havens. Mistress and pet looked up and watched as it gradually began to cover up the full moon. And then the lunar light no longer shone down upon the very late night here for Destiny and Donner. “It must be way after midnight now,” said the cheerleader. “I would say that it is almost three o’clock in the morning. We must turn in to the cabin for the night and go to sleep. Tomorrow is the next day. Destiny Fables gathered up all of her stuff with her, and they both left the sand dunes, crossed the backyard, and went into the South Cabin.
She groped about and turned on her tall floor lamp, and light filled her one-room cabin with this one-hundred watt incandescent light bulb. “This was the happiest night I ever had with you out in the sand dunes, Donner,” said his cheerleader mistress. “Was it just as happy for you, too?” He barked twice, indicating, “Yes! Yes!”
“We’ve got to do it again. Next time sometime the three of us,” she said. She meant herself
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and himself and her boyfriend. Donner most eagerly barked three times, indicating a “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
Then the cheerleader Christian listened to the silence of most late night here in the South Cabin.
“It’s quiet in here, Donner,” said Destiny. She could no longer hear the whippoorwills now. “I can’t hear them in here…the whippoorwills,” the mistress said. Something seemed strange. She came back to the door, opened it, and put her head to the outside. Out here was dead silence as well. “I can’t hear the whippoorwills here either,” said Destiny. She then stepped all the way outside and stood upon the ground. Indeed the music of the whippoorwills was suddenly ceased most unnaturally. “Where did they all go, Donner?” she asked. The German Shepherd stepped outside to be at his mistress’s side.
Something was not right.
Then it came. It came from the sky. It lighted upon this backyard. It quaked the earth. And it terrified woman and dog. It stood there, looking upon her with the imperious countenance of a demon. It chose not to regard the dog. It was the scariest and biggest unicorn that this Christian woman had ever seen. Its horn must have been longer than her arm. Its stature stood some feet above her head. Its eyes were a devil’s red. Its hide was halfway between gray and black. Its dark mane blew about fiercely in the wind of night and augmented this beast’s terror. Its dark tail also blew about in the wind, frightening the woman in its diabolical nature. Its black hooves gleamed in the moonlight; they could knock down a cabin. And its great wings, indeed pitch, now unfurled, showed off a wingspan greater than the width of a towering box elder. Quite Destiny Jean Fables had never seen such a unicorn as this. But she had heard her boyfriend talk much about him. And she knew who this was.
It was the Baneful Unicorn, the Demon of Upper Michigan, having come down to northern Wisconsin here to do Satan’s work.
The Baneful Unicorn laughed in scorn at the two mortals who lived here, and it said, “Yet one hundred days, and the Good Havens will be no more.”
This Baneful Unicorn was saying that it would destroy the heavenly sand dunes!
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And the cheerleader believer was astonied upon hearing such a warning from such a unicorn.
Then with another laughter of disdain at God and at woman of God and at dog of God, the Baneful Unicorn lifted back up into the skies of night and left them alone to think upon its twelve words.
Mistress looked upon pet; pet looked upon mistress. And Destiny Fables said what she was thinking, “Donner, no evil like this wicked unicorn has ever come so close to our blessed sand dunes before. You saw him, and I saw him. He was right here in our back yard. Why, the demon must have been within fifty feet of the Good Havens.”
Satan was very happy now this night. But the Holy Comforter comforted His daughter and her dog here. And Miss Destiny Fables said, “Donner, with God on our side, we are on the winning side.”
The Lord was stronger than the Baneful Unicorn.
Then, with a word of prayer spoken by the mistress, cheerleader and German Shepherd went back inside the cabin and turned in for the night.
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CHAPTER IV
His name was Proffery—Proffery Rule Coins—and he lived in the West Cabin. His yard and cabin looked out onto the Good Havens along its western boundary. He was the boyfriend to Destiny. And he was the best friend to Flanders. And he was also a born-again believer of twenty-four years of age living a faithful and obedient life for Christ. And right now he was spending a good time with his pet she-griffin named “Zephyr,” here right in front of the pure sand dunes.
It was a high noon now here at the Good Havens on a nice sunny day in the countryside. And God was doing His miracles upon the sand dunes as his son Proffery Coins watched from his backyard.
Truly the Shechinah Glory was filling the air above all of this sand with the Deity of God here at midday. And master and she-griffin watched in great reverence and awe and reticence.
In the Old Testament, the Shechinah Glory came down and filled the tent of the tabernacle in the wilderness in the days of Moses. The children of Israel, after their first year of their wandering in the wilderness, had just finished their setting up of the tabernacle; and this Glory came down. It is written about this Shechinah Glory in Exodus 40:34-35, “Then a cloud covered the tent of the congregation, and the glory of the Lord filled the tabernacle. And Moses was not able to enter into the
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tent of the congregation, because the cloud abode thereon, and the glory of the Lord filled the tabernacle.”
And, also in the Old Testament, the Shechinah Glory came down and filled the house of the Lord in the days of Solomon. The workers had just finished building Solomon’s temple of God, and the priests had just set up the ark of the covenant in the Most Holy Place of the temple; and the Glory came down into this Holy of Holies of the temple. It is written about this Shechinah Glory in I Kings 8:10-11, “And it came to pass, when the priests were come out of the holy place, that the cloud filled the house of the Lord, So that the priests could not stand to minister because of the cloud: for the glory of the Lord had filled the house of the Lord.”
And now this was happening before master and she-griffin here along the western border of the Good Havens outside upon the sand underneath the sky of the light of midday sun.
Swept up in the peace and rest and carefree spirit of this phenomenon happening right in front of them, Proffery, just one step outside of these sand dunes, went on to sing the Doxology that he had memorized from his church’s hymnbook:
“Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heav’nly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.”
Then the song of the crickets filled the countryside around these Good Havens. Proffery loved, of all things of the countryside, the music of crickets most of all. The sound of crickets was even more reflective about life in the country than even scarceness of population for Proffery. Indeed one of the reasons that he loved Heaven was that he believed that Heaven was one big meadow of tall field grass and singing crickets in the field grass. He and Zephyr listened most rapturously to the crickets in the fields around.
Then his griffin pet called forth a call and with her eagle eye she bade him look to his right. He
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looked right. Behold, his girlfriend-in-Christ, walking up to him with her Donner. He could see troubles upon her beautiful face and in her gait.
He and Zephyr quickly got to their feet and came up to her. “Destiny, what’s wrong?” he asked her.
“Proffery,” she said. “I saw him.”
“Whom?” he asked.
“I did see the evil unicorn,” she told him all.
“You saw the Baneful Unicorn?” he asked, in cares for her life.
“Yes, Proffery,” she said. “I met that demon from Upper Michigan, and I yet live.”
“He is my enemy!” exclaimed Proffery Coins. “That Baneful Unicorn is straight from Hell.”
“He scared me and Donner,” said Destiny Fables.
“Did he hurt you?” asked Proffery.
“He did not hurt me,” said the cheerleader.
“What did he want?” asked Proffery.
“He wanted to tell me something, boyfriend,” said Destiny.
“What did he say to you?” asked her boyfriend-in-the-Lord.
“He told me that he is going to wreck the Good Havens,” said his girlfriend.
“That dastardly demon!” cried out Proffery. “Let him be anathema Maranatha!”
“Why would the demon from Upper Michigan want to do that to our sand dunes, Proffery?” asked the cheerleader.
“Because he is like his father the Devil,” said Proffery. “What Satan tells him to do, he goes and does. And he is happy when he does evil.”
“Proffery. It gets worse than that,” said Destiny.
“Do tell me,” said Proffery.
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“He said that he will do this one hundred days from now,” said Destiny.
“We men of the Good Havens have much work to do,” said Proffery. He got up, reached for his crossbow beside him and held it in the air in challenge. Then he said, “Flanders and I have to keep the Baneful Unicorn far away from these sand dunes.”
“Proffery, when the evil unicorn came and told me these things, he was already in my backyard.” edified the girl the man.
“If that be the case, he were standing within a stone’s throw of our beloved sand dunes,” said Proffery, aghast.
“Yes. At night,” said the cheerleader.
“It seems, milady, that the Devil is now at war with God no longer over the rest of the world alone, but now also over our Good Havens of God,” said Proffery Coins.
“We have within our group four animals, two women, and two men,” said Destiny. “We are eight against one with the demon unicorn.”
“Woman, we have God Almighty,” corrected Proffery. “Our four pets alone surely will not tip the balances in our favor against the great and terrible unicorn of Upper Michigan. God has not ordained you two women to fight battles. As for us men soldiers, I have my crossbow and my crossbow bolts, and Flanders has his saber and its double edges. We men of this group of the sand dunes are called of God to fight the demons. And we will fight with our pets as our allies. You women are called of God to be prayer-warriors for us Christian soldiers.”
“Woe! So much is happening so fast,” said the cheerleader girlfriend.
“I feel overwhelmed now also, Destiny,” said Proffery. “We must keep our eyes on Jesus.”
“Like what it says in Isaiah 26:3. Right, boyfriend?” asked Destiny Fables.
Proffery recited this verse: “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”
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“I was there with you when you bought your crossbow,” said Destiny. “I did not know then that you would have to fight battles with it.”
“I knew that I must soon fight battles with it. But I did not know against whom I was to battle with it until you came and told me of your encounter with the Baneful Unicorn,” said Proffery.
“I for one feel safe knowing that my good boyfriend is a mighty crossbow shooter,” said Miss Destiny Fables. “And I feel even safer knowing that our God is sovereign over Christian and demon alike.”
Proffery Coins then set about efficiently to prepare his crossbow. He took the stirrup which was at the head of the weapon, set it upon the ground and braced his foot upon it, pulled back on the string with both hands and notched the bowstring in place, and put the crossbow bolt in its slot. He then raised his weapon, aimed it at a lower trunk of an apple tree sapling, and pulled on the trigger.
The bolt of an arrow whizzed through the air, struck the narrow trunk of the young tree, and severed it from its stump; and the rest of the little apple tree fell down upon its side.
“Boyfriend, you are ready for a Baneful Unicorn,” praised his admiring cheerleader.
But he said, “I must train and get better.”
Just then Gretchen and Flanders came running toward them from the north, their two pets at their sides. And before this group reached Proffery and his group, Flanders called forth, “Brother, we have bad news.” Flanders Nickels had his sword in his sheath along his left side.
Proffery said, “Do tell me what you have to say, Brother Flanders.”
And the eight met here by the West Cabin along the boundary of the sand dunes. Breathless from the run, Flanders Nickels said, “The Demon of Wisconsin is going to break down our good church!”
“The Baleful Griffin!” exclaimed Gretchen.
“That is what he told her,” said Flanders.
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“Yeah,” said the pom pom girl. “The Baleful Griffin told me, ‘Yet one hundred days, and Second Advent Baptist Church will go down.’”
“Is he really going to do that, Big Sister?” asked Destiny.
“He’s going to try,” said Flanders. Having said this, Flanders Nickels drew his sword out of his scabbard, and he raised it in both of his hands above his head, and he brought it down very hard upon a little rock that lay upon the ground. Behold, the rock was split into two halves. And the saber was not harmed, nor did its edge lose its sharpness.
“Wow, Flanders,” said Destiny. “What you just did with your saber upon the rock!”
“The rock is one thing, Destiny. The Baleful Griffin is another,” said Flanders.
“Our church is the last fundamental Baptist Church around,” said Gretchen.
“Our church is the last good church left anywhere,” said Destiny.
“All of the other churches out there keep Jesus out,” said Gretchen.
“’Behold, I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.’ Revelation 3:20,” said Destiny. “God is in our church.”
“This is the times of the Laodicean church of this church age,” said Gretchen. “All the churches out there are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—for Jesus. And all of those churches make Jesus to throw up,” And she went on to say, “But Second Advent Baptist Church is on fire for God.”
Proffery said, “Nothing would make Satan more happy than to see our good Baptist church to be razed!”
“And we see now that he has commissioned the Baleful Griffin to go and do that,” said Flanders. “I say unto you this day, that the day that that demon tries that, I will see to it that he will not only die the first death, but also the second death as well right after that.”
“The lake of fire,” said Proffery the meaning of the second death.
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“Prepared for the Devil and his fallen angels,” said Flanders.
“And the eternal home of the damned,” said Proffery.
“Well, fellow believers. I now know why God had me to become a sword fighter,” said Flanders. “I am called of God to take on and to try to slay the Baleful Griffin in order to preserve our good little church.”
“Flanders, it seems that you two men have two Godly blessings to protect,” said Destiny.
“What do you mean, Little Sister?” inquired Gretchen in uneasiness.
Destiny said, “I just got done telling Proffery that the Baneful Unicorn told me that he will ruin our good sand dunes on us. And that that will also happen a hundred days from now.”
“Not Good Havens!” cried out Gretchen.
“Yes, Big Sister,” said Destiny.
“Brother, are you as ready for war in Christ as I am?” asked Flanders.
“The Lord will fight for us and with us,” said Proffery.
“One hundred days away,” said Flanders.
“Our own little Armageddon, Brother,” said Proffery.
“Aren’t you scared, boyfriend?” asked Gretchen.
“That I am,” said Flanders. “I have never fought a military battle before. I have never even swung a sword like this until God had first given it to me some time ago.”
“What about you, Proffery?” asked Destiny. “Are you afraid of dying in battle?”
“I prefer the comfort of the rapture in going to Heaven over the pain of death in going to Heaven,” confessed the young new Christian soldier.
“Would it help if I tell you what Pastor says about dying for a Christian?” asked Gretchen.
“Yes. Tell us,” said Flanders.
“He says that dying for a born-again believer is like going to sleep and waking up in Heaven,”
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said Gretchen.
“And Pastor also preached upon the crown of life in one of his sermons,” said Destiny.
“What did Pastor preach on the crown of life?” asked Proffery.
“He said that Jesus will give the crown of life to those Christians who were faithful in life’s trials,” said Destiny.
“You mean, in mine and Flanders’s case, if we were to die in battle against these two demons. Don’t you, Destiny?” asked Proffery.
“Yeah,” said Destiny.
“A crown of life would feel really good on my head Up There were I to die for Christ,” said Proffery, his eyes focused on spiritual matters.
“Thank you both for these words of encouragement,” said Flanders. “The preservation of our Good Havens and the defense of Second Advent Baptist Church are truly most worthy causes to for us two men to go to battle against these two demons.”
“Indeed whether our Good Lord wills us to live or to die in these two battles,” said Proffery.
Then the masters and their she-pets looked one upon another. Flanders, looking into the eyes of his good unicorn asked, “Bree, would you fight at my side in battle against our two foes?”
Bree at once gave forth a most unequivocal toot on her unicorn horn indicating a “Yes, my Master!”
Looking into his pet griffin’s eyes, Proffery asked his Zephyr, “And you, good friend?”
And Zephyr gave forth a definite calling out through her eagle beak in a message that could be translated, “I will ever be at your side, O Master.”
“So be it done,” said Flanders.
“The will of the Lord is made manifest,” said Proffery.
“How can I help?” asked Gretchen. “We girls need to do something.”
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“We women shall be prayer-warriors for our boyfriends, Big Sister,” said Destiny the idea of Proffery.
“We shall go and do that,” promised the pom and dance woman.
“With prayer, we men can prevail,” said Flanders.
“Without prayer, we men shall flounder,” said Proffery.
The pom and dance woman and the cheerleader woman looked at each other. And Gretchen said, “Flanders, what better time for us twin sisters to pray for you boyfriends than right now?”
“Right now is quite a good time for prayer, Gretchen,” said Flanders.
“Yeah. Let’s pray,” said Destiny.
“A prayer meeting would most surely exhort me in the Lord,” said Proffery.
And the four born-again believers walked out into the sand dunes here in the western side, and they knelt upon the sand, and the women prayed.
The big sister started this prayer meeting: “Dear Father Who rules in Heaven: This is Your daughter Gretchen here. It seems that now all of a sudden my boyfriend has to go off to war. You have called him to fight demonic beasts. These demonic beasts are big and strong and scary to us girls. I would say, Lord, that in the eyes of the Baneful Unicorn and of the Baleful Griffin that it is You Who is big and strong and scary. I remember the words of Jeremiah 33:3 where You promise us Christians, ‘Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.’
We girlfriends call upon You right now, and we await Your answer. Shew us women so great and mighty victory for our boyfriends one hundred days from now. I ask You, ‘Be with my Flanders when his turn comes to fight those two devils.’ One great battle will take place here. Another great battle will take place there.” (By “here’ and by “there,” the pom and dance prayer-warrior meant these “sand dunes” and “that Baptist church.”) “May us women’s men slay the Demon of Upper Michigan and the Demon of Wisconsin, and may You get all the glory for so great victory in battle.” She paused. Then
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she continued, “Have mercy also on Laddie and on Donner and on Bree and on Zephyr. And, lest I forget in my love for Flanders and his well-being, I pray also now most especially for Your tender loving care upon these sand dunes and upon Second Advent Baptist Church. In the name of Your Son Jesus Christ I do pray this. Amen.”
After this, then the little twin sister prayed in this prayer meeting in the Good Havens: “Dear Father God: My boyfriend has a crossbow, and he knows how to use it. He told me that its bolts that it fires are made of iron and steel, and that they are one foot long, and that they are one-quarter inch in diameter, and that they weigh between one-and-one-half ounces and two ounces each. But, O Lord, without You, these crossbow bolts will not harm our two adversaries. Without You, these bolts will miss. Without You, these bolts will not wound the demons. Without You, these two beasts will not fall in battle. It is written in John 15:7, ‘If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.’ We four humble believers walk with You daily in the Good Havens. And You walk with us four humble believers daily in the Good Havens. And I ask You, if You would, for so-great mercy for our boyfriends on the battlefields to come and for so-great grace for us two girlfriends not on the battlefields to come in this big new valley. Bless these sand dunes and do keep evil from ruining them. Bless our good little church and keep it still standing when the two demons come to knock it down. I now wait upon You. In Jesus’s name. Amen.”
“Thank you, ladies,” said Flanders.
“And I thank you both, too,” said Proffery.
“You know what we guys need to do now, Brother,” said Flanders.
“We must get ready for a hundred days from now,” said Proffery.
“Come along to the front yard with me, O Bree,” said Flanders to his pet unicorn.
“And follow me to the backyard, Zephyr,” said Proffery to his griffin.
“What are you guys going to do?” asked the twin Fables sisters.
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“War games,” said Proffery.
And the two Christian soldiers and their two pets and allies then left the sand dunes and they once again practiced with their weapons with rigor and with vigor in the fields.
And then the two Christian women and their two pets also left the Good Havens, and they watched their men train for battle in great fierceness.
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CHAPTER V
Pastor Canon began his sermon this day, saying to his flock, “This morning I will begin a series of messages on eschatology. What is eschatology? It is all future events that first begins with the rapture of the church. The book of Revelation is all prophecy all about eschatology.” The four born-again Christians of the Good Havens were again at Second Advent Baptist Church in Sunday Morning Worship. Pastor Canon went on to say, “This morning I shall preach on the seven seal judgments of Revelation chapter six and of the first verse of Revelation chapter eight.” Then he said, “We believers will never have to see these seal judgments upon this Earth; we will already have been taken out of the Earth in the rapture just before they happen.”
He then began his sermon, “In the first seal judgment, Jesus the Lamb of God takes the seven-sealed book, and He goes ahead and opens the first seal. Behold, a white horse and a rider upon this white horse come upon the world. This rider is antichrist. And he comes to rule and reign this now dark world of the tribulation. And this tribulation will be Earth’s darkest hour. He comes riding, himself holding a bow, but no arrow, and he wears a crown upon his head. Because he holds no arrow, this tells us that he comes in peace and not in war. And he becomes the ruler of the world. But he
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rules truly as ‘a tyrant of tyrants,’ and as ‘a dictator of dictators.’ Right now in this church age, this antichrist is out there somewhere ready to come on the scene. He will seem to have all of the answers to all of the world’s problems. We Christians will not be here to see him. Just as the rapture of the saints will snatch us up to Heaven and protect us from the tribulation of this Earth, so, too, will this same rapture take us home to Heaven and protect us from knowing antichrist. About this antichrist, Satan himself will indwell him. And this man of the Devil will want to receive worship from all the world, worship that God only should receive. And this world ruler will have also a partner, an assistant, whose name is ‘the false prophet.’ And anything that the antichrist can do with the power of the Devil, this false prophet can do likewise with the Devil behind him, too. This false prophet will be here to help the antichrist receive all the worship that he desires. And it is he who will guide all religion unto antichrist as its focus. This number two man of this tribulation world will force everybody to worship an image of antichrist by way of the number ‘666.’ The Bible calls this number
‘the mark,’ ‘the name of the beast,’ ‘the number of his name.’ We all know that this ‘beast’ is another name for this antichrist. This ‘666’ will be written upon the forehead or upon the right hand of all who submit to this world ruler. Alas, woe unto all who willingly have this mark put upon their bodies there.
For God says in His Word, that any and all people who have this ‘666’ printed upon them are irrevocably damned to Hell when their time comes to die, and nothing will ever change their eternal destiny no matter what.” Pastor paused and took a breath. And he said. “This is most grave stuff to preach upon.” Then he said, “This tribulation in the earth under these two rulers of the world will last for seven years. This is also called ‘the end times.’ And these end times will be a global catastrophe that is said to be even worse for mankind than was the great flood back in the days of Noah. And this
tribulation is a judgment from God upon the world for its rejection of Christ and upon the nation of Israel for its rejection of their Messiah and upon the world for its persecution of the Jews. And it all begins with the opening of this first seal.”
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Pastor Canon then continued his sermon on end time seal judgments: “After Jesus sends the antichrist riding his horse across the world, then He opens the second seal of the seven-sealed book.
And now a rider on a red horse comes and rides throughout the world. He is war. The rider on his red horse wields a great and terrible sword. He takes peace away from Earth. And he tempts people to kill.
And he brings about World War III. Now let me talk to you of the flock about the first two world wars.
In the times of World War I, this war became known as ‘the war to end all wars.’ In French it is called ‘la grande guerre,’ which translates into English as ‘the great war.’ And after this world war, the countries of the world formed what was called ‘the League of Nations,’ which was created so that war would no longer be a part of life for mankind. It was established to bring everlasting peace to the world. As we all know it failed to establish peace on Earth. We of this flock do know that this world will not find such desired peace among the nations until Jesus the Prince of Peace comes to rule and reign in the Thousand-Year Reign. We know that World War II came along not long later. And World War II saw more casualties even than World War I. Let me teach you some more indicative French words, these words about the second world war. In French, the usual word for ‘second’ is the word ‘deuxième.’ ‘Deuxième’ means ‘the second of a series of many.’ The less common French word for ‘second’ is the word ‘seconde.’ ‘Seconde’ means ‘the second of a series of only two.’ Thus, in the spirit of hope and optimism, the French called ‘World War II’ not ‘la Deuxième Guerre Mondiale,’ but rather ‘la Seconde Guerre Mondiale.’ And the rest of the countries of the world shared the same hope and optimism of peace on Earth, and they formed what we now call ‘the United Nations.’ The United Nations is failing the noble cause also. We all know what that United Nations skyscraper looks like, standing tall and proud in New York City, but wars continue today all throughout our sin-cursed world. Lost mankind foolishly believes that he can negotiate peace on Earth, and yet he himself, without God, cannot even have peace in his own heart. And in the near future, after we believers are raptured up to Heaven, fallen mankind will fall right into World War III. This rider on the red horse will lead the
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human population of a few billion right into this coming third world war.”
The learned pastor then went on to preach, “Then the Lamb will open the third seal of this book.
Lo, a rider riding a black horse across the globe. In his hand is a balance scale. A voice calls down from Above, saying, ‘A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see thou hurt not the oil and the wine.’ In the Bible a penny was equivalent to a day’s wages. And this meant that in this coming tribulation and its times of these seal judgments, to buy a loaf of bread, a worker will have to work a whole workday to pay for it. Now, in any war, such things as famine and poverty and drought are common after the battles are fought. But in this third world war, famine and poverty and drought will come about with a fierce virulence throughout this whole Earth. Among the survivors in this world, there will not be enough money to live. Whole populations will be hungry and starving and thirsty and parched. Even our own affluent United States will cease to be ‘the land of plenty’ and will become instead a poverty nation. And even the new superpower—the world empire of antichrist and false prophet in Europe—will not be a rich empire like unto the seven world empires of long ago. This tribulation world empire in Europe–the Revived Roman Empire—will be an empire of poverty. And this rider on the black horse will bring this paucity into the world. And this rider on the black horse will also fill the world with pestilence and pandemic and all manner of deadly sicknesses. I heard once how more soldiers die from illnesses than they do from weapons. I believe that.”
The preacher then continued, saying to his flock, “Then Jesus Christ opens the fourth seal and sends this seal’s judgment upon this Christ-rejecting world. And, behold, a rider on a pale horse going to and fro in the Earth and walking up and down in it. This rider’s name is ‘Death.’ And ‘Hell’ comes after him. This rider on the pale horse will wipe out into oblivion men and women and boys and girls,
and he will do so by way of sword and hunger and death and the beasts of the Earth. How deadly is this rider called ‘Death?’ I say unto you, Death will kill one out of every four people of the entire human population of this world of that time. When I had first spoken of this rider on the pale horse
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at this Second Advent Baptist Church, the world’s population was six billion people. If the rider on the pale horse had come riding in this world then, he would have massacred one-and-one-half billion human beings unto very death. This fatal rider on the pale horse will also provoke the animals of this planet to attack and to slay the people of this planet.” Pastor paused and shook his head at such horrible and yet righteous judgment wrought by this rider Death. And he prayed, “Thy will be done in that day.”
Then he asked his flock, “How many of you have heard of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse?” All of the congregation raised their hands. And Pastor Canon said, “Such and thus are indeed the riders and their horses of these first four seal judgments of the coming end times.”
Then the good fundamental Baptist preacher continued on, saying, “Then comes the fifth seal judgment. Jesus opens the fifth seal of this book, and a somber event takes place Up in Heaven. It involves the Tribulation martyrs whom antichrist had executed for the cause of Christ. These were born-again Christians who had refused to take the number ‘666’ and who had refused to fall down and worship the beast and who had chosen death rather than life to the glory of God. These noble martyrs were saying to God, ‘How long, O Lord, holy and true, dost thou not judge and avenge our blood on them that dwell on the Earth?’ They do petition all-righteous God and ask Him when their unjust murderers will pay the price for their murderous sins. The compassionate Lord gives his slain saints white robes to put on. And He says to them to ‘rest yet for a little season, until their fellowservants also and their brethren, that should be killed as they were, should be fulfilled.’ His resurrected martyrs Here must remain patient and to wait a little longer until the other born-again believers also die in and for Christ down in the tribulation world. Antichrist’s deadly persecutors of the saints of the end times, though they may be glad when they execute a child of God, they will eternally regret what they had done when they begin to spend eternity in Hell. In His time and in His way, the Lord Jesus judges all such men and women of Belial with just judgment. It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of God
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Almighty.”
Then the wise Baptist missionary went on to preach, “Then the Son of God opens the sixth seal of the book. Lo, upon all the Earth, a cataclysmic and catastrophic earthquake of unprecedented numbers on the Richer scale does quake the whole world everywhere. The Holy Bible says of this earthquake of earthquakes, that, ‘every mountain and island were moved out of their places!’ It is written in Revelation 6:15-17 after God struck this planet with such an earthquake, ‘And the kings of the earth, and the great men, and the rich men, and the chief captains, and the mighty men, and every bondman, and every free man, hid themselves in the dens and in the rocks of the mountains; And said to the mountains and rocks, Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth upon the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb: For the great day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand?’” Pastor then explained this verse, saying to his flock, “Even after all of this, unsaved man still refuses to repent and to get right with Jesus. Behold the hardness of the human heart! These people would prefer that rocks fall upon them than for themselves to fall down and worship the Lord and Saviour. Every time there is mentioned an earthquake in the Scriptures it is always a judgment from a holy God unto an unholy people. The earthquake that opened up the earth and swallowed up Korah and Dathan and Abiram was God’s judgment against these rebels who opposed Moses in Numbers chapter sixteen. And this greatest of earthquakes, wrought by the opening of the sixth seal, was the judgment of God upon the nations. The Lord God wants people to turn to Him, and sometimes he has to reach over the banisters of Heaven and to do something quite manifest like an earthquake to get the people’s attention so that they come to Him in humbleness and sincerity.”
The Baptist minister then went on to preach more on this sixth seal judgment, “And also, in addition to the earthquake upon the ground, the Lord does judgment upon the skies above to get mankind’s attention. The Bible says that the sun becomes as black as sackcloth of hair. And also the moon becomes as blood. Further, all of the stars fall down to the Earth just like a fig tree loses its
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untimely figs in a strong wind. And, to top it all off, the Bible does say that the heavens depart as a scroll when it is rolled up. Strange scary things happen in the sky in this sixth seal judgment that cannot happen, but they do. Because God made them happen. I am just glad that I will not be here to see these four things in the sky happen. And you Christians like myself will also not be down here to see them happen. Joel prophesied in Joel 2:31, ‘The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before the great and terrible day of the Lord come.” That same prophet also prophesied in Joel 3:15, ‘The sun and the moon shall be darkened, and the stars shall withhold their shining.’”
The wise Baptist Pastor Canon then went on to finish off today’s sermon on Sunday Morning Worship to his little and attentive flock: “Then, last of all, comes the seventh seal judgment.” Pastor opened up his King James Bible and read to the congregation, “’And when he had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour.’ Revelation 8:1.”
Then Pastor, in a moment of good and jolly levity, looked out upon his flock and said, “You know what that means.”
The cheerleader Destiny Fables raised her hand and said, “I do, Pastor. It means that there are no women in Heaven.”
And the pom pom girl Gretchen raised her hand and said, “That’s because we women cannot stay silent for a whole half of an hour, Pastor Canon!”
Flanders spoke and said, “I was wondering if you would come to that again, Pastor.”
And Proffery asked, “Where have I heard that before? Why, right here!”
And Pastor said, “Forgive me, ladies and girls. I had to say that.” And he said, “Heaven is filled with good and godly and wise women.”
Then Pastor went on to finish his preaching on this seventh seal judgment, saying, “The opening of this seventh seal prepares the way for the seven trumpet judgments to come at a later time in the tribulation. I will preach upon those seven judgments at a later time. Why do we of this Christian
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flock need to know about these seven seal judgments that I have preached on today seeing that we will not be here then? To warn the lost about the tribulation so that they may repent and get saved as well and be raptured up with us.”
Then Pastor said, “Let us take out our hymnbooks and sing hymn number 181–’Onward, Christian Soldiers.’ Stand now, if you would.” And the good Baptist flock stood up and sang this hymn:
“1. Onward, Christian soldiers, Marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus Going on before!
Christ, the royal Master, Leads against the foe;
Forward into battle See His banner go!
Onward, Christian soldiers, Marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus Going on before!
- At the sign of triumph Satan’s host doth flee,
On, then, Christian soldiers, On to victory!
Hell’s foundations quiver At the shout of praise;
Brothers, lift your voices, Loud your anthems raise!
Onward, Christian soldiers, Marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus Going on before!
- Like a mighty army Moves the church of God;
Brothers, we are treading, Where the saints have trod.
We are not divided, All one body we–
One in hope and doctrine, One in charity.
Onward, Christian soldiers, Marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus Going on before!
- Onward, then, ye people, Join our happy throng;
Blend with ours your voices In the triumph song.
Glory, laud and honor Unto Christ the King–
This thru countless ages Men and angels sing.
Onward, Christian soldiers, Marching as to war,
With the cross of Jesus Going on before!”
Good Pastor Canon then had a word of prayer and dismissed the flock. Sunday Morning Worship concluded for this day. And the flock stayed around to fellowship. Then Pastor came up to Flanders and Proffery, and he said, “Brothers, you said that you two had to see me about something that had come up.”
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Flanders asked, “Could the three of us talk in private, Pastor?”
“Could we talk in your parsonage, Pastor?” asked Proffery.
“We can do that, Brother Flanders, Brother Proffery,” said Pastor Canon.
The two best friends told their girlfriends that they would be a while longer, and the girlfriends faithfully stayed here at the church to wait for their boyfriends to come back when their business with Pastor was done. And the three pillars of Second Advent Baptist Church walked to the parsonage not far down the road.
Once there, the pastor asked, “What is it that you two have to tell me?”
Flanders spoke first, saying, “Pastor, our church is in danger of being utterly broken down to the ground, and our flock is in danger of their lives if they be here when it happens.”
And Proffery said, “That threat came with a one-hundred-day notice, Pastor.”
Pastor found no words to say right now.
Flanders said, “I will do my best to protect our church with my sword.”
“And I, my crossbow,” said Proffery.
Pastor forced a query from his throat, saying, “Who dares to do such a thing?”
Flanders said, “The demon of Wisconsin, Pastor.”
Proffery said, “The Baleful Griffin,”
“Only he would dare to do such a thing,” said Pastor.
“Everybody knows that God is in this church, Pastor,” said Proffery.
“And that is mainly because of you, Pastor,” said Flanders.
Proffery went on to say, “I’m not sure about how all of this will end up.”
And Flanders said, “We could be killed in this battle.”
“Brother Proffery, Brother Flanders, we all just got done singing a song about Christian soldiers,” said Pastor. “I hear doubt and uncertainty in your voice about the God of our church.”
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Their church was indeed the last church of its kind.
Everywhere throughout America and the rest of the world false churches and false denominations and false ministers abounded. False religious teachers filled their houses of worship with doctrines of devils and seducing spirits. Even all the other Baptist churches in Wisconsin were ecumenical, and not fundamental. Inside churches and outside of churches, all religious men and women everywhere had abandoned the King James Bible. And the words of sermons throughout the land were not the Words of God, but rather the words of men. And the eternal truths of God were forgotten now for a long time everywhere.
Except for Second Advent Baptist Church.
Pastor went on to say, “It is written, my two brethren, ‘…I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.’ Matthew 16:18.”
“The Lord Jesus said those words,” confessed Proffery.
“Jesus does not break promises,” said Flanders.
“I can only say to you, O good and faithful Christian soldiers, ‘Trust God with His victory over the Baleful Griffin in His battle over His church,” said the Baptist missionary.
“I will do that, Pastor Canon,” promised Flanders Nickels.
“In God I, too, will prevail, Pastor,” declared Proffery Coins.
“It is written also, ‘Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it:…’ Psalm 127:1,” the good Baptist pastor exhorted his two Christian warriors.
“I believe,” said Proffery.
“I believe,” said Flanders.
Pastor and his two best friends of the church then got together in a prayer circle, and Pastor had a fervent short word of prayer. Then they parted. The two Christian soldiers went back to the church to rejoin their girlfriends. And the four Christians and their pets returned back home to the sand dunes.
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CHAPTER VI
The eight who lived around the Good Havens were on a trip to the big city of Green Bay. Flanders and his pom pom girlfriend were riding his unicorn, and Proffery and his cheerleader girlfriend were riding his griffin, also on the ground, and the Collie was walking alongside his mistress, and the German Shepherd was walking at the side of his mistress. They were on their way to the Brown County Arena where All-Star Wrestling was taking place today. But they were not all coming to watch professional wrestling. The two women were coming to participate in professional wrestling.
And these two were far from beginners, far from unknown, and far from mediocre in the world of women’s all-star wrestling. Everybody knew the Fables Twins. Everybody loved the Fables twins.
And everybody rooted for the Fables twins.
Flanders spoke and said, “All of these wrestling bouts that you had in your pom and dance girl outfit, Gretchen. And not one time did I ever see any harm come to your precious outfit.”
“They make pom pom girl outfits to be durable, Flanders,” said Gretchen. “They have to be tough because pom and dance is a rough activity.”
“And so is wrestling,” said Flanders.
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“Yeah. It is,” said Gretchen with a smirk.
Proffery then spoke and said, “I have seen you take on some tough lady wrestlers, Destiny. And
not one time have I seen any tear upon any of your pleats.”
Destiny replied, “Because my pleats are knife pleats. And knife pleats are stronger than box pleats.”
“Both types of pleats are made of the same material,” said Proffery.
“You’re right about that, boyfriend,” said Destiny with a grin.
“That proves, Brother Proffery, that all-star wrestling is not real,” said Flanders.
“It is so easy for us to forget that when we are about to see our two girlfriends wrestle for the title belts,” said Proffery.
“And because we have a major crush on women’s wrestling’s number one contenders,” said Flanders.
“After today, hopefully,” said Gretchen, “we sisters will be the women’s tag team champions of the A.W.A.”
“You do not know?” asked Proffery.
Destiny said, “First we have to beat the current tag team women’s champions.”
“You already know,” said Flanders.
“We women wrestlers do know,” said Gretchen. “But you women’s wrestlers’ fans do not know.”
The two men would have to wait to find out. These two lady wrestlers would not give out the secrets of their trade. And this made the boyfriends wish to root for the Fables twins all the louder when they would be there. And that would be soon. They were coming up to the corner of Oneida Street and Lombardi Avenue. And they could see the Brown County Arena right there on the southeast corner of this busy intersection. Many riders on many animals were coming here from throughout the country.
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This ladies’ tag-team championship wrestling match was much publicized on TV and radio and newspaper and magazines and by word-of-mouth. About the current tag-team champions of women’s wrestling, it was said of these two “that everybody loved to hate them” and “that everybody hated to love them.” But all of America were behind the Fables Twins. Women loved to see two women from the rural Midwest wrestle. And men loved to see a pom and dance girl and a cheerleader girl wrestle.
Green Bay Packer fans loved the green and the gold that was a major part of the attire of these two St. Norbert College alumnae as they wrestled–the very two colors of the Packers. All of St. Norbert College and its city of De Pere were also rooting for the Fables twins. And Preble High School, a school in east Green Bay, their colors also green and gold, also rooted for the Fables twins to win.
The four riders dismounted Bree and Zephyr. Boyfriends and girlfriends hugged a quick hug. Masters petted their she-pets. Mistresses kissed their he-pets. And fans came up with their cameras to take pictures. And then the four believers went into the arena: the men to the front row at ringside: the women to their places in the back of the arena.
As the two men waited for the match to get ready, they heard great chants of “Gretchen! Gretchen! Gretchen!” and “Destiny! Destiny! Destiny!”
Suddenly echoing boos filled the arena. The two guys in the front row knew what this had to be about. Flanders said, “It sounds like the champs are coming now to ringside.”
“I think that I see one of them,” said Proffery.
“They always walk together,” said Flanders. “Where’s the other one?”
“The one that we see must surely be taller than a basketball player,” said Proffery.
“I see her, too. I never saw a woman so tall and so skinny before,” said Flanders.
“I heard that this other one is shorter than a jockey,” said Proffery “Do you see her yet?”
“Is that her by the tall woman’s knees?” asked Flanders.
“I think that it is,” said Proffery. “I heard that she is as fat as a pig.”
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“I can see that, Brother,” said Flanders.
“That little one must be more wide than she is tall,” said Proffery.
Then the tag team champions reached the ring. The gaunt giantess took one step and stood up upon the ring apron. Then she took another step and walked over the top rope to enter the ring. The fat
dwarf lady had to climb a little step ladder to its top to step out onto the ring apron. Then she lifted up the bottom rope and walked past underneath it to enter the ring. And the boos from the arena were stentorian. The tall lady wrestler was dressed in a long sleeveless black dress that was tight around the legs and ankles. It would seem to be hard to walk about in this—even harder to wrestle in this. And the short lady wrestler was dressed in a black long-sleeved blouse and a long black skirt, also down to the ankles and also narrow at the legs and the ankles. Again it would be hard for her to walk in this skirt, much more to actually wrestle in it. Both of these girls were also wearing black high-heeled shoes. And both of these girls had wild faces about them, and heads of dark black hair a good two feet longer than the Fables twins and bangs that reached down and covered their eyes and much of their faces. And both champions had their hands covered in black vinyl gloves. And they both had on their heads black witch hats. And around their waists they wore their tag team women’s championship belts. And as ugly as they looked on the outside, they wrestled all the uglier; they were the worst cheaters of all the American Wrestling Association. And all the catcalls in the arena at them sounded like thunder in a storm. In rage, the tall lady wrestler threw her witch hat out into the stands, and everybody got out of this witch hat’s way, and it landed in an aisle, and no one went after it. In her own rage, the short lady wrestler crumpled up her witch hat and threw it down upon the arena floor in front of the first row of seats. Little children ran up to it and stamped on it with their feet.
Then the Fables twins began to make their way to the ring. And instantly all the boos ceased, and the fans filled this arena now with cheers. And people began to sing. And everybody was happy.
Flanders and Proffery were most proud of their Christian girlfriends. They were the most avid of all
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the avid fans here in the Brown County Arena. On her way up to the ring, the pom and dance girl
performed a series of cartwheels down the aisle. And the cheerleader did her thing down the aisle with forward flips, using both hands. And when both twins reached the ring, they each took one hop and landed squarely up upon the ring apron; and then they each performed a backward somersault up and over the ropes with both hands and landed squarely in the ring on their feet.
“Amen!” said the two men, and all the arena burst into cheers that resonated louder than its jeers prior at the champions.
Then the ring announcer came in with a microphone, and he said to all the arena, “Ladies and gentlemen and children, welcome to the A.W.A. Tonight’s wrestling bout is for the undisputed women’s tag-team championship of the world. In this corner, wearing the black, with a combined weight of two hundred fifty pounds, are the women’s tag team champions—Miss Vertical and Miss Horizontal.” This time the crowd gave off a dead silence of utter repudiation at them. The ring announcer then went on to say, “And in this corner, wearing the green and gold and white, with a combined weight of two hundred fifty pounds, are the women’s tag team challengers—Gretchen Fables and Destiny Fables.” And the crowd began to sing:
“For they are jolly good lasses.
For they are jolly good lasses.
For they are jolly good lasses.
Whom nobody can deny.”
The bell was just about to ring. The Fables twins curtseyed to their adoring arena. And then the Fables twins curtseyed to their beloved boyfriends. Suddenly they were attacked from behind. Miss Vertical stepped up to Gretchen, leaned her own form downward and forward, and struck the back of Gretchen’s head with her title belt. Miss Horizontal ran up to Destiny, leaped as high as she could, and struck the back of her head with her title belt.. Both Fables twins fell down in a daze. And the champions quickly dropped their belts upon a table in their corner on the arena floor. Then the bell
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rang. The referee had seen nothing of this.
Both of the Fables twins lay on the canvas in a daze. The pom and dance girl lay there on her belly. The cheerleader lay there on her back. In a march of triumph, Miss Vertical came up to Gretchen, put her high-heeled foot upon the pom pom girl’s back, and raised her bony fist upward, awaiting the referee to count out Gretchen. At the same time, Miss Horizontal came up to Destiny, rolled her over upon her belly, and sat upon her, and waited for the referee to count out the cheerleader. The referee got down and slapped the canvas three times and counted to three thus, and declared Gretchen pinned. He then slapped the canvas three times and counted to three in like, and declared Destiny pinned, Then, Miss Vertical got up and gave Gretchen a stomp upon her bottom with her high heels. And Miss Horizontal grabbed Destiny in the back of her head by her hair and slammed her face down upon the canvas. And the reigning tag-team ladies’ champions marched back to their corners, picked up their title belts, and put them back on around their waists. Funny how the one belt made Miss Vertical look even more vertical, and funny how the other title belt made Miss Horizontal look even more horizontal. All of Brown County Arena was disappointed, and all the arena was quiet.
But the two boyfriends of the Fables twins were suspicious of this defeat of their girlfriends.
Flanders said, “This is not done yet.”
Proffery said, “There is more to come.”
Their girlfriends had hinted to their boyfriends of an outcome different from the outcome that had just happened here. They would not trick their boyfriends-in-Christ about something like this. The show would go on. And surely their two girlfriends would come out of this as the new tag team champions. What did the powers that be in the A.W.A. have up their sleeve with these four women wrestlers for their fans today? Flanders and Proffery did not have long to wait.
Behold, the chairman of the American Wrestling Association coming up to the ring with something to say. He was the final authority over all All-Star Wrestling—both over the men wrestlers
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and over the women wrestlers. Dressed in his suit and tie, the head man stepped into the ring, accepted the microphone from the ring announcer, and began to speak to the many fans both sitting here and also sitting at home watching on TV: “Ladies and gentlemen of Green Bay and northeastern Wisconsin and throughout the world: I hereby declare null and void this victory today for the tag team of Miss Vertical and Miss Horizontal. These reigning ladies’ champions did not win this title bout. Neither woman pinned either woman, despite the referee having counted them out. The rules of the A.W.A. define a pin as an opponent’s shoulders touching the canvas for a count of three. Neither Fables’ girls shoulders were held to the canvas. They were on their fronts, face down, their backs of their shoulders not resting upon the ring floor. Thus I declare a rematch to take place. It shall happen right now. And it will begin officially when the bell rings. And the title bout will pick up right where it left off. Ladies, come out fighting.” And all of the arena began to clap in great gladness for their two lady wrestler stars.
Proffery said, “I never saw that coming, even though I knew something was coming.”
“I have seen many surprises in my days here watching our girlfriends wrestle, but this one is the biggest of surprises. We were right, Brother,” said Flanders.
The head of all-star wrestling then said, “Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy the match.” And he stepped down from the ring.
Truly did this little interim seem to have given the Fables twins a most miraculous recovery after having been knocked utterly senseless from the blows from the title belts. They were both on their feet and hopping about with a spring in their step and with an awareness in their eyes and with great energy and enthusiasm to their bearing. They were ready to rumble. Their opponents were gnashing their teeth and spitting and cursing.
And the bell rang.
In came Gretchen first of the Fables twins. And in came both the champions at the same time.
Miss Vertical and Miss Horizontal were well-known for double-teaming upon their tag-team
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opponents, two against one, to the breaking of the rules of tag team wrestling. But the referee sought to regain control in this match, and he convinced the cheaters to back away. And Miss Vertical stayed to take on Gretchen one on one, and her partner went back outside the ring in her corner.
“Come over to me, pom and dance girl,” said Miss Vertical from the opposite corner.
Gretchen raised her hands for a Greco-Roman knuckle contest. And Miss Vertical came to her and took her fingers in her own gloved fingers. The tall woman had her arms downward and Gretchen had her arms upward in this match because of the disparity of height between the two. And instantly Miss Vertical cried out, “My nail is broken! Help me! Help me!”
In came Miss Horizontal illegally. Destiny, seeing this, also ran into the ring to try to keep back the fat midget from interfering. But the referee saw the cheerleader in the ring and did not see the short fat woman in the ring; and he ushered Destiny back out of the ring, his back turned to the cheaters.
And Miss Horizontal attempted a flying drop kick into the backside of the pom pom girl. But the dwarf of a lady wrestler tripped over the bottom portion of her tight black skirt around her ankles, and she fell to her knees. And she cried out, “My knee hurts! Help! Help!” The referee ordered Miss Horizontal out of the ring, and she hobbled back out of the ring. But on her way out, she rammed that same “wounded” knee into the back of the leg of Gretchen. And Gretchen fell backwards upon her bottom, and her grip upon Miss Vertical’s hands was broken by the fall. Miss Vertical then took off her left glove and held it in her right hand, and she began to slap it hard against the face of Gretchen. The pom and dance girl wrestler kicked out from her defensive position and did grab a hold of that glove and did pull it out of Miss Vertical’s hand. And Gretchen then made her “eat it,” forcing the glove into Miss Vertical’s big open mouth. Then she tagged off, and in came Destiny the cheerleader wrestler woman.
Miss Vertical shook her head in a rage, forcing the little black glove out from between her teeth, and she fled the charging cheerleader to get to her own corner and to tag off. But in her high heels,
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Miss Vertical slipped on the canvas floor, and she fell headfirst into the ring post in her corner, and she stayed down there, rubbing her head and muttering curses upon all pom and dance girls and upon all cheerleaders out there. Then Miss Horizontal reached down and tagged Miss Vertical by tapping her upon her back, and in she came into the ring. And Destiny reached down and picked up the big little woman in both arms, and did hoist her up to her own cheerleader’s shoulders. And Miss Horizontal flailed about with her arms and legs, but she could not break free. And Destiny began to spin around and around in place. The she body slammed Miss Horizontal onto her back. Her fall cushioned by her fat, Miss Horizontal quickly got back up to her feet. But her fat head was overcome by dizziness from the spin. And she looked around in her spell. She swung a roundhouse left into the air and hit nothing. She swung a roundhouse right into the air and hit nothing. And her head was looking all around in search of Destiny, who was right there in front of her. And then the cheerleader understood her opponent’s strange wrestling: Miss Horizontal could not see in front of her for the wild hair all about her head and right down over her eyes and beyond her nose. In a slight, Destiny said, “I’m over here, Miss Horizontal.” Miss Horizontal took both hands, put them upon her forehead, and spread her much hair outward to both sides of her face. Now she saw her cheerleader opponent. Her dizzy spell over with, Miss Horizontal threw a punch and struck the cheerleader in her breadbasket. Punches were not allowed in wrestling, but forearm smashes were. Abiding in the rules, Destiny threw a forearm smash and struck Miss Horizontal in her own breadbasket. Having had enough, Miss Horizontal ran away from Destiny, and escaped to her corner, and tagged off.
In came Miss Vertical to take on Destiny. Miss Vertical then ran to the ropes as fast as she could in high heels, bounced herself off of the ropes, and was snapped back toward Destiny from the ropes, and she utterly clothes-lined the cheerleader where she stood. Destiny fell down upon her hands and knees in the middle of the ring. At once Miss Vertical sat down upon the back of the partly fallen cheerleader, and she said in great mock, “Giddy-up, O cheerleader contender!” And Miss Vertical
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then stretched forth her long arms from where she was sitting and put a choke hold upon the neck of Destiny, her long fingers most of the way around the neck here from behind. The referee saw this as the illegal choke hold that it was. He began to count to three, three being the number that would disqualify the wrestler who was doing this choke. He said, “One…two…”; then Miss Vertical released her choke hold. Then Miss Vertical put the choke hold back on to Destiny. The referee again began to count. And again the champion let go at the count of two. And this happened again, for its third time.
And Miss Vertical released her choke hold for a third time. Then Miss Vertical grew weary of all this, and she got up and said, “Had enough, Destiny?” And the tall lady tagged off to the short lady. And the cheerleader tagged off to the pom and dance girl. And Miss Horizontal and Gretchen faced each other now.
Miss Horizontal then did a flying drop kick in her high heels. She caught Gretchen in her lower abdomen, forcing her to fall back a couple steps. And she said, “Rats, I missed.” She was aiming for the part of the pom pom girl that was below. Gretchen knew what she had meant. And she was personally offended. And in reprisal, the pom and dance girl did a flying drop kick into Miss Horizontal’s midriff, sending her to fall back against the lower rope and to fall on her bottom and on both palms.
And Gretchen said back at her opponent, “Rats, too low, Miss Horizontal.” She thus hinted that she had meant to kick Miss Horizontal in the breasts.
“Pom and dance girl, I bite,” warned Miss Horizontal.
Then in came Miss Vertical, saying, “And I bite, too.”
In came Destiny, and she said to the champions, “You bite my twin sister, and I bite you.”
And Gretchen said to the champions, “Your bark is worse than your bite.”
The referee put himself between the two tag teams all in the ring in his continued effort at
maintaining the rules of all-star wrestling, and he brought order back here in the ring. He told them,
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“Ladies, get back to your corners.” And the two tag teams complied. The champions came back to their corners, and they both stood there outside the ropes. And the challengers came back to their corners, and Gretchen stood outside the ropes, and Destiny stood inside the ropes. The Fables twins were ready for more women’s all-star wrestling. But the reigning champs stayed outside the ring in a most manifest rebellion against their profession for no good reason. And this title match was held up by two immature prima donas.
In all-star wrestling, if a legal wrestler—one that was supposed to be in the ring—stayed outside of the ring to the count of thirty by the referee—that wrestler was disqualified and did officially lose the match. This was true for tag team wrestling just as it was individual wrestling. The referee, now having full command of the match, began to count out the champions for their refusal to get back into the ring. And as he was doing so, the tag team ladies’ champions began to quarrel one with the other where they stood on the ring apron. And the referee got to, “twenty-nine,” and Miss Horizontal grabbed Miss Vertical around the knees, rallied, and threw Miss Vertical over the top rope and down into the ring just before the referee got to, “thirty.”
In the rage of a woman scorned, Miss Vertical gave Miss Horizontal a head butt, the ropes between them. And Miss Horizontal’s head suffered a concussion. And Miss Vertical’s head suffered a minor skull fracture. Miss Horizontal did not see this coming. And Miss Vertical did not know what she hit. And Destiny Fables easily brought Miss Vertical to the canvas with a football-like tackle. And she pinned the tall champion’s shoulders down upon the canvas. And the referee slapped the canvas once, saying, “One”; he slapped the canvas again, saying, “Two”; he slapped the canvas yet again, saying, “Three.” Behold, Miss Vertical was pinned.
And the Fables twins were now the world reigning ladies’ tag team wrestling champions. The referee took the tag team title belts from the vanquished former champions and did give them to the victorious new champions. And the pom pom woman and the cheerleader woman put these title belts
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on around their waists. And as happy as this arena was for them, the two women were all the more happy. And as glad for them as they themselves were, their boyfriends-in-Christ were all the more glad for them.
The ring announcer got to the ring, and he declared Gretchen and Destiny Fables the winner of this title match and did proclaim them as the new women’s tag team wrestling champions. And Brown County Arena burst into great cheers and applause and clapping, almost as happy that the losers lost as that the winners won.
This was a good happy day for Flanders and Proffery standing here at ringside. Proffery said, “I knew this would happen. I did not know how it would happen though.”
And Flanders said, “There’s no business like show business.”
“Brother, our girlfriends are now more famous than we are.” said Proffery.
“We two Christian soldiers are but humble warriors for Christ,” said Flanders.
And having said this, the two men were asked by the chairman of all-star wrestling if they wished to come up to the ring and give the Fables twins a word of congratulations. And Flanders and Proffery did so. And the two couples gave each other a most pleasing hug in front of everyone. And the people from Wisconsin began to chant the names of the Christian soldiers just as they were also chanting the names of their dear new tag team champions. And after a while, things in this Brown County Arena quieted down. And Flanders said, “Our pets await us. We have kept them waiting.”
And the band of Christians from the Good Havens left the building, came out to their pets in the parking lot, and came back home on Highway 141 back to Beaver.
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CHAPTER VII
Flanders and Gretchen were on a date together in his backyard at the East Cabin. Bree and Laddie were here as well, most welcome and most asked-for by boyfriend and girlfriend equally.
“Flanders, remember our first day together?” asked Gretchen Fables.
“Four happy years ago, dear Gretchen,” he said. “I do remember.”
“We were both only twenty years old back then,” said the pom and dance woman.
“Minahan Football Stadium,” he said. “The first home football game of the year for our St. Norbert College Green Knights.”
“I came to dance for our team,” said Gretchen Fables.
“And I came to see the dancers for our team,” said Flanders.
“You saw me, before I saw you,” said Gretchen.
“I was in the front bleachers,” he said, “and you were on the sidelines in your irresistible pom and dance uniform.”
“The very one that I have on today again,” she said.
“The very one that you wear for me every day here in our life at the sand dunes, girl,” he said.
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“The one that I put on everyday for myself, O boyfriend,” she said in fun rebuke and truth.
“The one you wear first for yourself, and second for myself,” said Flanders.
“Exactly, Flanders,” said Miss Fables the elder the truth behind her icon.
“And maybe for Laddie, too, girlfriend?” asked Flanders. She gave away a grin and a laugh.
“Laddie likes me in this, too.” she said. “What did you think when you first saw me there at Minahan Stadium that day, Flanders?”
“I did not see you before I saw your box pleats,” he said.
“You noticed my skirt before you noticed me?” she asked.
“The first thing that I notice in a woman is what she has on,” he said. “Then the second thing I notice about a girl is her face. Then, third, I look at her form.”
“Did you like what my pleats looked like that afternoon?” asked Gretchen.
“I could see the golden sun of early summer evening shining upon your green and gold and white of your skirt that you had around yourself down there,” he said. “So stunning the main pleats of green looked in the daylight of sun lighting them up as it did, O Gretchen!”
“Surely you saw St. Norbert College pleats before, Flanders,” said the pom pom girl.
“Yeah!” he said. “In the light of the stadium lights of the dark of night,” He went on to say, “I had seen cheerleader pleats and pom pom girl pleats at St. Norbert College before—either at the stadium of nights outside or in the gymnasium of ceiling lights inside.” He paused and fell upon so sweet reveries.
“Was that the most beautiful thing you saw in any of us pom and dance girls—how the sun made my skirt true magic for you?” asked Gretchen Fables.
“Until I did my next thing that I do,” he said.
“You mean that then you looked at my face,” she said.
“Yeah,” he said.
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“Was I pretty at first glance?” she asked.
“You were beautiful even at first glance,” he said.
“Did my face measure up to my outfit?” she asked.
“You face was even more magical than even your outfit,” said Flanders.
“Did you then take a good hard look at my build, O boyfriend?” she asked.
“That I did,” he said. “You were built like a brick outhouse.”
“Was I your favorite St. Norbert College pom pom girl right then, Flanders?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he said. “I could not turn my eyes off of you, O Gretchen.”
“You had to still go and take looks at the other girls on my squad,” she said, knowing how men seemed to have wandering eyes when it came to women.
“No, Gretchen,” he said. “Not in this case with you.”
“I was so irresistible that I made you to stop looking at all of the other girls who were dressed just as I was, Flanders?” she asked.
“I lost interest in them, Gretchen,” he said. “They were not the most beautiful woman that I had seen in any football game or basketball game as you were.”
“Did you forget all about the other girls there with me then who were on my pom and dance team?” asked Gretchen Fables, looking for more so sincere praises.
“I did at that, Gretchen,” said Flanders, reliving that first day.
“I was there, shaking my pom poms not long before the game started,” said Gretchen Fables, telling her story of that first day with him. “And I felt hungry eyes staring upon me.”
“You could feel that someone in the bleachers was looking very hard at you.” said Flanders.
“I could, Flanders,” she said. “But I was not afraid. I felt the peace of the Holy Spirit encouraging me and telling me, ‘Fear not.’”
“We believers are not scary people,” said Flanders.
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“You and I had already been born again by then for many years,” said Miss Fables the elder.
“I hope that I did not offend you,” said Flanders in reminiscence of that first day.
“I was not offended at all. We pom pom girls are used to being stared at. We like the attention that we get from all the fans in the bleachers,” said Gretchen. “The football players should not be the only people there who get all the glory. Save some of that glory for us pom and dance girls.”
“I saw when you first saw me,” said Flanders Nickels.
“You were sitting down on the lowest bench of the bleachers. You had your whole body leaning forward where you sat. You had your lower arms spread out upon the top of the railing. And you had your two hands spread out, one upon the other in the middle, upon the top of the railing. And you had your chin resting upon the top of your two hands. And your head did not move. I had a watcher. But I knew that he was safe and would do nothing to hurt me.”
“The Holy Spirit told you, ‘Be not afraid of this man,’” said Flanders in the words that she had just shared with him a moment ago.
“This man was real cute,” said Gretchen.
“You then looked at me and smiled,” said Flanders.
“I wanted to let you know that I liked you the way that I could tell that you like me,” said Gretchen Fables.
“You then cocked your adorable head to the side at me, and you gave me a fetching brown-eyed look, my fair lady,” he said.
“My first flirt with you, boyfriend,” she said.
“I turned positively giddy when you did that, Gretchen,” he said.
“But you gave me back a flirt of your own, Flanders,” she said.
“I did,” he said. “I did not know what to do with a pretty girl who liked me. So I stood up, and I bowed before you.”
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“No hunk of a guy ever had so much class as you before when it comes to making a woman feel good,” said Miss Fables the elder.
“I never went and bowed before a pom and dance girl before,” he said.
“You did it like a real gentleman,” said Gretchen.
“Lo, girl!” he said. “And it was right then when you came walking right up to where I was standing.”
“And I came up to you, and I said, ‘Hi there, sir.’” said Gretchen.
“And I actually fell into a stammer at that moment,” said Flanders.
“I have never heard you stammer since,” said Gretchen.
“That was the first time that I ever stammered,” said Flanders.
“I said to you, ‘I won’t bite,’” said Gretchen,
“That was so true, and it was so funny, and it was so good,” said Flanders.
“And at once your speech was sure and steady from then on that first day,” said Miss Fables the elder.
“We then introduced ourselves to each other. You said how you had found Christ as Saviour many years ago as a young girl. I said how I got born again myself when I was still a young boy. You were twenty years old and a sophomore as I also was. You were a Spanish major, and I was a French major. Your favorite non-major class was Astronomy. My favorite non-major class was English Grammar. You did not do well in Philosophy. I did not do well in Psychology. We both were on the Dean’s list throughout both of our previous semesters as freshmen. We both said very good things about the food in the cafeteria; we were glad to have J.R. the chef preparing the good meals for the cafeteria. I lived in Burke Hall, the co-ed dormitory by the river. You lived in Sensenbrenner Hall, the women’s dormitory right next to it. We both came home to our parent’s house on the weekends, and we both came back to the dormitories at the beginnings of the school week. And I told you about my
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best friend Proffery and all about his griffin and all about my unicorn. And you told me about your little twin sister Destiny, also studying here. And you told me about your Collie and all about your sister’s German Shepherd. And we talked about our love for our Saviour most of all,” said Flanders.
“I said that my favorite thing to do was to read my King James Bible, and that my second favorite thing to do was to pray,” said Miss Fables the elder. “And you told me that your favorite thing to do was to pray and that your second favorite thing to do was to read your King James Bible.” The pom and dance girl then said, “And we both told all of the good times that we have in fellowship at our Baptist churches.”
“Yeah. And then I asked the big question,” said Flanders.
“The best thing that any real cute guy ever asked me,” said Gretchen.
He told his big question to her now in this remembrance together, “Would you like to fellowship with me sometime, Gretchen?”
“Oh. I surely do,” answered Miss Fables the elder in reliving that magic moment here four years later.
This question had quite said, “Would you go out with me, Gretchen?”
And this answer indeed said, “Let us go steady.”
And now here they were now, four years later, the whole bunch living around a giant sand dunes like a family of eight.
Laddie crawled up to his mistress, leaned his Collie head forward, and smelled the cup of drink that she had at her feet where she sat.
“Laddie is curious about your tea that I am making for you,” said Flanders.
“Laddie is interested in everything that I am interested in,” said Miss Fables the elder.
“That makes for a great pet,” said Flanders.
“That is just what you are, Flanders, a companion who loves the things that I do all the time,”
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said the pom pom woman.
“That makes for a great boyfriend,” said Flanders.
“A boyfriend is even better than a Collie,” said Gretchen Fables. “Sorry, Laddie.”
“Ditto,” said Flanders in implying that a girlfriend is better than a unicorn. “Sorry, Bree.”
“Now what do I do with this tea?” she asked. “You said that it is called ‘cold brew tea.’”
“The big tea bag has steeped now for long enough,” he said. “Do with yours what I do with mine.” He took out the cold brew tea bag by its string, manually squeezed it out into his full cup, and set it down upon the grass here alongside the sand dunes.
Gretchen did the same, and she said, “Who ever heard of making cold tea with a tea bag?”
“It is one of my favorites,” he said. “That’s how they make this.”
“That’s why they call it ‘cold brew tea’ on the box,” said the pom and dance girl. “And the tea bag is great big.”
“Do you like lime in your tea?” he asked.
“I’ve put lemons in my tea before. But I never thought about putting limes in my tea before,” she said. “I would like that. Is that them in your bowl here?”
“All cut up into quarters,” he said. He took one of the lime quarters, and he squeezed it in both hands into his own cup of cold tea here in the grass.
She did as he had just done. And boyfriend and girlfriend licked their fingers clean. Then she said, “Is that a box of sugar cubes you have here, Flanders?”
“Yes,” he said. He then reached over and took four sugar cubes from the box and said, “Each cup of my cold brew tea gets three sugar cubes.”
“But I see four sugar cubes in your hand,” said Miss Fables the elder.
“Here, girl, good Bree,” said the master. And he gave one sugar cube to his pet unicorn.
“I get it,” said the pom and dance woman. “Three for you and one for Bree.” Learning more
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about Flanders’s tea, Gretchen Fables took three sugar cubes from the sugar cube box and dumped them into her cold tea. “I tell you, boyfriend, if this tea cup were not so big, I would say that three sugar cubes is too much for one cup of tea,” said his Christian girlfriend.
He took his favorite spoon and gave it to her, and he took a lesser spoon for himself. He stirred up his iced tea, and she stirred up her iced tea in like.
“Do you see the tiny pulp of limes in your cold tea, Gretchen?” he asked.
“Why, I do,” she said. “Just like in your cup.”
“Drink it. They taste good,” he said.
Though she had never drunk such a thing as this before, Gretchen Fables did not wait for her boyfriend to go first. She at once put the tea mug to her mouth, and she did take a big swallow.
“Do you like it?” he asked.
“Mm. Mm, Mm,” she said in pleasing and pleasant approval. And she took another gulp.
“So many things that a woman like me can learn from a boyfriend like you, Flanders,” she did say.
This cold brew tea was one of these things. The curious Collie whined just like Lassie, but his mistress said, “No, Laddie. This one is all mine.”
“He likes tea, too, Gretchen?” asked Flanders.
“He just thinks he does,” said Miss Fables the elder. “He has never tasted tea before.”
“He likes evaporated milk,” said Flanders.
“You know my Laddie most well, boyfriend,” said the pom pom woman.
You know my Bree most familiarly, too,” said Flanders.
“She plays such beautiful hymns on her unicorn horn,” praised Gretchen his Bree. “Don’t you, girl?”
Bree commenced to play a hymn that the whole bunch here in Beaver had sung many times at Second Advent Baptist Church. “Can you name that tune, Gretchen?” asked Flanders.
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“I can,” said the pom and dance believer. “It is ‘Rock of Ages,’”
“Play another hymn, if you would, good Bree,” said Flanders. The wise she-unicorn then played another hymn from church on her unicorn horn. “Can you name that tune, girlfriend?” asked Flanders.
“I can,” said Gretchen Fables. “This one is ‘The Solid Rock,’”
“Right again,” said Flanders.
In this way, boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-the-Lord whiled away in precious fellowship as the unicorn played hymns on his horn from the hymnbook and the guy or the gal or both went on to name that tune. And the Collie dog also joined in and began to howl in song himself. Though he sang in his way, one could not discern notes from his song as one could discern notes from Bree’s music.
“Laddie sings a pretty dog song,” said Flanders, admiring the he-Collie in a novel way.
“As the Good Book says, ‘Let us make a joyful noise unto God,’” said the daughter of God.
“Psalm 66:1,” he said. “Make a joyful noise unto God, all ye lands,” said Flanders Nickels.
“That means us, too,” said the pom pom girl.
“Let me get my church hymnbook,” he said. He ran off back to the East Cabin, got the hymnbook, and ran back to join the three.
“What should we sing in this hymnbook, boyfriend?” asked Gretchen Fables.
“How about hymns all about Heaven?” he asked.
“I know all of them,” said the Christian girlfriend. “’When We All Get to Heaven,’ and ‘When the Roll Is Called Up Yonder,’ and ‘My Saviour First of All,’ and ‘Sweet By and By,’ and ‘Shall We Gather at the River?’ and ‘Face to Face,’ and ‘Saved by Grace,’ and ‘We’re Marching to Zion.’”
“Let’s sing them all from the hymnbook, girl,” he said.
And boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ sang all seven of these hymns about Heaven from the hymnbook in order near the back of this book until they were finished.
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“God will forgive my bad singing,” said the pom and dance girl.
“It was wondrous singing, O Gretchen,” said Flanders. “God will give you rewards for your singing.”
“You liked my singing, Flanders,” she said.
“Your voice that quotes Bible verses is excelled only by your voice that sings hymns, O woman,” he said in his great crush for the pom and dance Christian.
“I remember that first hymn that Second Advent Baptist Church sang on my first day there,” said Gretchen Fables. “You were there with me.”
“The longest hymn of them all,” he said. “And a very good hymn at that.”
“Hymn number 31–’All Creatures of Our God and King,’” she said.
“Five stanzas with eight lines each, four lines of hymn and four lines of refrain per stanza,” he said, “with a total of forty lines in one hymn.”
“A great hymn,” she said.
“The longer the better,” he said.
“I do not want to sing a hymn that gets done quickly,” she agreed.
“I was happier in church with you at my side than I had been before when you were not there with me,” he said.
“I came in my college pom and dance girl uniform to your good strict Baptist church, and nobody minded!” exclaimed Miss Fables the elder.
“We were just glad that you came,” said Flanders. “It is exciting for a guy like me to have a gal like you worshiping with me and the rest of my fellow Christians.”
“I could tell that they kind of liked what I dared to put on for worship,” said Gretchen.
“I especially!” he said.
“Don’t I know it,” she said. “I have prayed in this with you in our prayer meetings together.
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And I have read the Bible in this with you in our Bible studies together. And now I go to church in this with you to fellowship with our brothers-and-sisters-in-Christ and hear Pastor preach hellfire-and-brimstone.”
“My own pom and dance woman, whom God has given me,” said Flanders.
“You never thought that a pom pom girl would make a good Christian. Did you, Flanders?” she asked in flirt.
“I never thought that a Christian would make a good pom pom girl,” he teased her right back most beguilingly.
“Pastor Canon did not bat an eye when I first came in with you, myself coming as I was,” said Miss Fables the elder.
“Pastor loves people and loves souls,” he said.
“And he hates sin and hates the Devil,” she said.
“Pastor preaches the whole word of God. He preaches against false teachers and false doctrines. He teaches us all of the Bible’s ‘Thou shalt’s.’ He preaches to us all of the Bible’s ‘Thou shalt not’s.’ He warns us about temptations. He always preaches the Gospel. He always talks about the plan of salvation. He uses only the King James Version Bible. He shows us how to hate the sin and how to love the sinner. And he prays at his desk just before he prepares his notes for his next sermon to preach. He is a true fundamental Baptist missionary through and through,” said Flanders.
“In sum, Pastor Canon preaches to his flock only what God wishes him to preach to us,” said the pom and dance woman. “As he says about this, ‘I may step on some toes, but I’m reaching for the heart.’”
“He tells us from God what we need to hear from God,” said Flanders Nickels.
“And he preaches that women should come to church in dresses and skirts, and that men should come to church in suits and ties,” said Gretchen.
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“My tea is all drunk up,” said Flanders.
“Mine is all empty, too,” said the pom pom woman.
“It’s been another good date, O Gretchen,” said Flanders. “I had great fun with you today.”
“I am happier in Christ when I am with you than I am in Christ when I am not with you,” said Gretchen Fables.
“The magic of romance, fair Gretchen,” he said.
Just then a dark and foreboding shadow passed by overhead and did stop right there above the four here, right between the sun and the ground. Whatever it was, it was hovering there, casting a cold and spooky shade upon them. And the spirit of evil filled the very air here so close to the Good Havens.
“What is this, Flanders?” asked the girl, afraid.
Flanders looked up, and he said, “Gretchen, lie down and cover your head.” And he drew his saber. She obeyed him. And he said, “It is the Baneful Unicorn.”
“Lord, have mercy!” cried out Miss Fables the elder.
Hovering beyond the reach of Flanders’s sword, the Baneful Unicorn called down, “Yet seventy-five days and your Good Havens will be good no more forever.”
“You can take that promise back to your father the Devil, you foul unclean spirit!” yelled Flanders up at the Baneful Unicorn.
After having made his proclamation, the demon of Upper Michigan then flew off back toward the Upper Peninsula from where he had come.
“That unicorn!” cried out the woman in dismay.
“That bane!” exclaimed Flanders, frustrated.
And the two pets were stamping all four of their feet upon the earth in consternation—the unicorn, her hooves; and the collie, his paws. And the Christian soldier sheathed his sword.
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CHAPTER VIII
Proffery and Destiny and his griffin and her German Shepherd were having dinner at her place at the South Cabin. “I’m glad we decided this dinner date to be a picnic, Proffery,” said the former college cheerleader.
“Ah, homemade spaghetti and spaghetti sauce and meatballs,” said her boyfriend. “And especially homemade garlic bread.”
“Mom always told me that the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” said Destiny Fables.
Boyfriend-and-girlfriend in the faith were sitting in the tall grass of her yard overlooking the sand dunes with the whole meal spread out upon the ground. Over here was a big bowl of hot freshly cooked spaghetti with a metal tongs. Over there was a big bowl of spaghetti sauce with a big wooden spoon. Over here was the big dinner platter with freshly prepared garlic bread made from a loaf of French bread. To the left was Zephyr’s dinner plate. To the right was Donner’s dinner plate. Along this front were first Proffery’s dinner plate then Destiny’s dinner plate, both plates with the necessary metal utensils next to these plates.
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“I tell you, Destiny. You are a great cook just like your mom,” praised Proffery.
“Mom is a stay-at-home Mom,” said Miss Fables the younger.
“The best kind of mom,” said Proffery. “Just like my own mom.”
“What did you bring for us to drink?” she asked.
“Oh, yes. Door County tart red cherry juice,” he said. “I left it in your cabin.”
“Door County is full of cherry trees all ready for the picking when fall comes around,” she said.
“I’ll be right back,” Proffery said, leaping up.
“Proffery, Zephyr is already eating before we prayed,” said the cheerleader Christian.
“Wait until we give grace, O Zephyr,” commanded the master. And the good griffin obeyed.
Proffery ran to get the cherry juice and came back with a big bottle of it and with two glass mugs with stems and broad bases. “I got these so that they will not tip over in this field,” he said.
“Great thinking, good boyfriend,” said Miss Fables the younger.
He sat back down next to her, and he poured the tart red cherry juice first into her mug, then into his mug. “Zephyr, I know from before how much you do not care for cherry juice,” said Proffery to his pet griffin. And, Donner, your mistress told me that you get sick in the stomach when you drink this. So you do not get any, either.”
Donner whined in desire for this juice that made him nauseous. “He does not know what it is that he cannot stomach,” said Destiny.
Proffery held out the open top of this bottle of juice toward the German Shepherd, and the German Shepherd came up to it and sniffed it and backpedaled to his place of the picnic.
“Good thinking, boyfriend,” said the cheerleader date.
“Let us pray,” said Proffery Coins. And young man and young woman bowed their heads, and Proffery prayed and gave the God of providence the due thanksgiving for this bountiful food of the picnic all prepared by Destiny and all spread out here by Proffery.
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And they began to eat. To Proffery’s delight, he found nice savory chunks of real and fresh garlic in the spaghetti sauce. And he rejoiced in the great big meatballs. And he especially thanked his special girlfriend for how she had made the garlic bread by slicing it into pieces that had to be pulled off from the bottom. She said, “I always cut into the loaf most of the way down, but not all of the way down.”
“”How’s the cherry juice?” he asked.
“Just as good as the tart cherries from which it is made,” she said.
“Look, Zephyr is already done with his plate,” said Proffery.
“And my Donner is not far behind,” said the cheerleader woman.
“I still have most on my plate yet,” said Proffery. “And so do you.”
“Our animals are fast eaters, O Proffery,” said Miss Fables the younger,
After a while, the master and the mistress went on to finish their meals as well. And the griffin and the German Shepherd began to play chasing games with each other in the yard.
Boyfriend and girlfriend were left alone with each other. And Destiny said, “Did you hear what happened today, Proffery?”
“With Flanders and your big sister?” asked Proffery.
“Yeah,” said Destiny. “Gretchen told me.
“And Flanders told me,” said Proffery.
“They had another visit from that demon unicorn,” said the cheerleader. “He said that he will wreck our sand dunes from God in seventy-five days.”
“We men will be ready for him when he comes that day,” promised Proffery with the resolve of the Holy Spirit. “I will have my crossbow and Flanders will have his sword.”
“Battle scares us girlfriends,” said Miss Fables the younger.
“We men will fight the battles,” said Proffery to encourage in the Holy Spirit his girlfriend.
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“We two women can pray,” said the cheerleader Christian.
“We two men can use such prayer, Destiny,” said Proffery Coins.
“Remember how we first got together, Proffery?” asked Destiny Fables.
“I do,” said Proffery. “Back in the day Flanders told me about about his new girlfriend’s sister who looked just like her.”
“Myself,” she said.
“I was quite attracted to his girlfriend Gretchen,” said Proffery. “The thought that she had a little sister who looked just like herself and who was without a boyfriend made me to start praying that I get to know her.”
“Again, myself,” said Miss Fables the younger.
“He told me that her name was ‘Destiny.’” said Proffery. “Yourself.”
“I bet that you two young men had some clever guy talk to say about us twin sisters,” said the cheerleader.
“When Flanders and I would talk about his Gretchen, before I knew about you, I would always say to him, ‘Best friend, let’s go double-dating together. You can go with Gretchen, and I can go with Gretchen.’”
“Two guys with one gal,” said Destiny. “All men think alike.”
“Then Flanders told me about you and your name Destiny,” said Proffery Coins.
“Did you say guy talk about me, too, Proffery?” asked Miss Fables the younger, hoping to hear something subtle again.
“Yeah,” said Proffery. “I did a make-believe introduction before Flanders about what I would first say to you when we first met.”
“And what was it that you wanted to say to me?” asked his Christian girlfriend.”
And Proffery told her, “Destiny, you are my density.”
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“Where you really meant, ‘Destiny, you are my destiny,’” said the cheerleader.
“Yeah. Only all wrong,” said Proffery.
“What else did you guys say about me?” asked Destiny Fables, enjoying all of this in a wily spell of coquetry with her boyfriend.
“I said, ‘Flanders, can a cheerleader actually be a born-again believer like you say she is?’” said Proffery.
“And he said, ‘See for yourself.’
I then said, ‘Can a born-again Christian really be a cheerleader, too?’
And he said, ‘My girlfriend-in-Christ is a decent and proper pom pom girl here. Cannot your Christian girlfriend be also a good and godly cheerleader?’
I said back to him, ‘From what I see, Gretchen Fables is the most spiritual girl I know of on campus.’
And he told me, ‘Destiny Fables is her equal in faithfulness to God, Brother Proffery,’
’Should I go after her?’ I asked.
’Go after her,’ he told me.
And I went after you,” concluded Proffery Coins.
“I remember what I first thought when Big Sister told me that a real cute guy wanted to go out with me,” said Destiny her side of the story of before their first date.
“A real cute guy,” said Proffery. “That must be myself in this case.”
“She told me that he was her boyfriend’s best friend in life,” said Miss Fables the younger.
“That’s myself for sure,” said Proffery. “Flanders and I are best of best friends.”
“Then she said something that only Flanders could have known about you, something that Flanders must have said to her,” said Destiny Fables.
“What did Flanders say about me?” asked Proffery.
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“She said that you have a thing for cheerleaders,” said Destiny.
“He said that about me?” asked Proffery.
“First he said it to Gretchen. Then Gretchen said it to me. Now I say it to you,” said the cheerleader.
“It’s all true,” he said.
“All men are the same,” teased Miss Fables the younger.
“Did your big sister say anything about the One Who is more important to me than cheerleaders?” asked Proffery.
“Such a One as He must be the Lord Jesus Himself,” said Destiny.
“My Saviour,” said Proffery Coins in truth and sincerity.
“Big Sister said that you knew God personally in a way that only her own boyfriend knew God among all the guys of all the college, O Proffery,” said the cheerleader believer.
“Whoa! Such words from a sister who only heard of me through her boyfriend,” said Proffery.
“Well, I believed her,” said Miss Fables the younger. “And I see now, right as I had in our first date together, that that was no exaggeration.” She went on to brag on him, saying, “In your college years you spent much time daily in your studies, and yet you spent even more time in private quiet time with the Lord every day all four of those years. I found out that all about you real soon after we began dating.”
“Homework comes second; worship must come first,” said Proffery Coins of his years at St. Norbert College.
“Funny how the good Lord brought all four of us together at a Catholic college, and not one of the four of us are Catholics,” said Destiny Fables.
“We are born-again believers, and St. Norbert College is a high class private college with a good curriculum,” said Proffery.
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“Yeah, a college right in academics and wrong in doctrine,” said Destiny.
“But a great college for basketball cheerleaders,” said Proffery.
“So, Proffery, when my big sister told you that I was a varsity basketball cheerleader, did you right away come to one of our games to see me cheer?” asked Miss Fables the younger.
“I wanted to,” he said. “But first I prayed about it,”
“God told you to go after the woman. Didn’t he?” asked Destiny.
“Yes! And I went after the woman,” said Proffery.
“Right away?” asked Destiny.
“Right away,” he said. “In fact it was the very next basketball game scheduled for the Green Knights.”
“Schuldes Sports Center,” said the college cheerleader.
“Our gymnasium,” he said.
“If I remember right, that night I was cheering on the women’s basketball team and not the men’s basketball team,” said Destiny Fables.
“The crowd was very small for the lady Green Knights,” said Proffery.
“They do not get much larger for the men Green Knights,” said Destiny.
“The St. Norbert football team gets more spectators than does the St. Norbert basketball team,” he said.
“Woe, Flanders. Not only that. But also most high school gymnasiums, though smaller than our college gymnasium, draw bigger crowds for their basketball program than we do at our college,” said the cheerleader who knew such things.
“This man with you here did not come to Schuldes Sports Center to see a basketball game,” said Proffery Coins.
“The man with me now came to pick up a girl,” said the former cheerleader.
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“And the woman with me now did not put up a fight,” said Proffery.
“We cheerleaders know a good man when she sees him,” said Miss Fables the younger.
“Is that true, Destiny?” asked Proffery.
“Maybe not all of the time,” said Destiny.
“But what about that time?” asked Proffery.
“That time for sure, Proffery,” said Destiny. “This cheerleader had God telling her that that guy was her one.”
“I sat down in the lowest bleacher right in front of all of you cheerleaders, and I looked for the one who looked just like Gretchen. I knew her name was ‘Destiny.’ And I found her right away,” said Proffery.
“Did you look at any of the other cheerleaders besides myself?” asked Destiny. “Was it a crush at first sight?”
“It was a crush on you at first sight at that, woman,” he said. “But that still did not stop me from looking at all of the other cheerleaders that were with you there at the sidelines of the basketball court.”
“Men!” she said in a mock scorn.
“But I was just looking,” he said.
“Boys will be boys,” said Destiny.
“Then the game started, and I decided to look only upon you, Destiny,” he said in truth.
“That’s more like it for the young man that God would have as my companion in our times here to come at the Good Havens, boyfriend,” said Miss Fables the younger.
“So would I have it for the most beautiful girl of St. Norbert College,” he said.
“Am I beautiful on the inside, too?” asked Destiny.
“You are more beautiful still on the inside even than you are on the outside,” he bragged on her.
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“How come?” she asked.
“Because you have Jesus, O fair Destiny Fables,” he told her.
“I remember when the buzzer rang for the end of the game,” said Destiny.
“And you came right up to me and sat down right up against my side where I was sitting,” he said.
“I knew that that was what you were hoping that I do,” she said. “Was I right?” she asked.
“Yes!” he said. “You told me your name, which I already knew. And I told you my name, which you already knew.”
“Just to make sure that we had the right one,” she said.
“Yeah. And we started talking about our Saviour Jesus Christ,” he said. “We talked about His divine attributes: His omnipotence, His omniscience, His omnipresence, His most lauded agape love, His most utmost holiness, His grace, His mercy, His long-suffering, His Goodness, His Greatness.”
“And we talked about our Saviour’s life,” she said. “from His virgin birth to His baptism in the Jordan River to His temptation in the wilderness to His three-year ministry in the holy land to his prayer in the garden of Gethsemane to His betrayal by Judas to His death on the cross to His resurrection and onto His Ascension.”
“After all of this fellowship with a gorgeous cheerleader in green and gold and white, I could not help myself but to ask you out for a date right then and right there, Destiny Jean Fables,” he said.
“And this gorgeous cheerleader in green and gold and white, well you know what she said, Proffery,” said Miss Fables the younger.
“You said, ‘I do,’ like a bride would say at her wedding,” said Proffery.
“And I asked where we should go out together,” said Destiny Fables.
“And I recommended my little Baptist church in town,” said Proffery Coins.
“I asked if I could come as I was with you to your church,” said Miss Fables the younger.
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“And I said, ‘There is always room for a cheerleader at our church, O Destiny,” said Proffery.
“And I went and said, ‘Then this cheerleader gets to go out with you on our first date at your little Baptist church in town, Proffery,”said Destiny.
“And I promised to pick you up for church on my griffin,” said Proffery.
“And you and I have gone to the Baptist church ever since, both that one in De Pere in our early years together and this one we have here in Beaver in our latter years together. Proffery,” said Miss Fables the younger.
“Our sand dunes look good out there in front of us. Don’t they, Destiny?” asked Proffery. And boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ left their reminiscing of their first day and came back home to these days by the sand dunes.
“There is no other place at all like them, Proffery,” said Miss Fables the younger.
Suddenly Donner gave out a most savage growl, and he leaped up into the air to bite something with his big dog teeth. And simultaneously Zephyr gave forth an eagle screech and did lift up into the air and pursued something in flight. Donner missed with his jaws, and Zephyr was falling behind in her chase.
Lo, it was the Baleful Griffin!
Proffery quickly set up his crossbow for firing. Donner looked to his mistress for her command.
Proffery, seeing his griffin now far behind the fleeing Baleful Griffin, commanded, “Zephyr, return!”
Destiny, in this time of sudden confusion, could only say, “Donner, heel.” And Zephyr returned to her master’s side, and Donner returned to his mistress’s side.
All three waited upon the words of Proffery, and he spoke, “The Baleful Griffin had not spoken any message.”
“He came. That was bad. He’s gone now. That is good,” said Destiny Fables.
“I know the way of demons,” said Proffery. “That Demon of Wisconsin will come back to
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tell us what he has to say to us.”
“Did our pets scare him away?” asked Destiny.
“I would think that even my crossbow would not scare away the Baleful Griffin, Destiny,” said Proffery Coins.
“When do you think that he might come back?” asked Miss Fables the younger.
“I think that I can see him coming back right about now,” he said.
“I can, too. He is so big and so strong and so devilish,” said Destiny.
Proffery aimed his crossbow at the great behemoth of griffins. Proffery waited until he came close. Destiny was praying out loud. Donner remained obediently at Destiny’s right side. And Zephyr
awaited Proffery’s battle commands at Proffery’s right side. And the Baleful Griffin hovered one hundred feet above ground right between them in the yard and the Good Havens beyond. Proffery would not fire a crossbow bolt up at this griffin demon. “Clever,” said Proffery. “Very clever.”
“Shoot him down, O Proffery,” cried out the cheerleader.
“Stalemate, O Baleful Griffin,” said Proffery.
“Boyfriend, what’s wrong?” asked Destiny.
“Blood must not be shed upon the sand dunes of our Good Havens, Destiny,” he told her.
“Even evil demon blood?” asked Destiny.
“Especially evil demon blood,” he told her.
“There that Baleful Griffin hovers, mocking us way up there—right at the line between the sand dunes and the backyard,” said Miss Fables the younger in consternation.
“If I fire my crossbow bolt at him up there, some of his blood will fall on the field and some of his blood will fall on the Good Havens,” said Proffery.
“If any blood spills out onto our sand dunes, our sand dunes will become sacrilegious?” asked Miss Fables the younger.
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“Any shed blood,” he said.
“His blood, your blood, my blood, Donner’s blood, Zephyr’s blood?” asked the cheerleader.
“It is written, ‘For the life of the flesh is in the blood: and I have given it to you upon the altar to make an atonement for your souls: for it is the blood that maketh atonement for the soul.’ Leviticus 17:11,” recited Proffery a blood atonement verse from the Bible.
“Any blood, boyfriend,” said Destiny in dismay.
“Lord, I pray now for a checkmate,” prayed the crossbow soldier.
“Proffery,” said Destiny Fables.
“Yes, Destiny?” asked Proffery Coins.
“Is not our Baleful Griffin here after our church and not after our sand dunes?” asked the cheerleader Christian.
“Oh yes, good Destiny!” said Proffery. “That he is!”
“Then he doesn’t care about the Good Havens,” said Miss Fables the younger. “He will do no harm to our beautiful sand dunes.”
“I need not to shoot him out of the sky here,” said Proffery.
Then the Demon of Wisconsin descended, cursing man and woman and dog and griffin.
“O Baleful Griffin, I say unto you, ‘Tell me what you have come to tell me and be off,’”
demanded Proffery.
And the Baleful Griffin spoke and proclaimed, “Yet seventy-five days and Second Advent Baptist Church will crumble down to the ground!”
Then, having delivered his message from the Devil, the Demon of Wisconsin at once flew off, soon to come back and seek to cause to tumble down to the ground the house of worship for the four here who lived at the sand dunes.
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CHAPTER IX
The four born-again believers, sans pets, were romancing in the sand dunes with chicken fights, one couple against the other couple. The pom and dance girl was piggyback riding Flanders, and the cheerleader was piggyback riding Proffery. Flanders’s and Proffery’s role in this game of chicken fights, was to try to knock down the other man, with their girlfriends riding upon their backs where they stood. As for the women’s role in today’s chicken fights in the Good Havens, the men told them, “Anything goes.” If one or the other woman also had a hand in knocking down the opponents, so be it.
Keep in mind, reader, that the men were soldiers; and the women, professional wrestlers. And, sure enough, their fun and games this day were particularly and pleasantly aggressive.
It started out with the men trying to trip up each other with their legs, and the women giving snakebites on each other’s upper and lower arms where they sat.
Flanders stepped onto Proffery’s left foot with his right foot, and Proffery almost lost his balance. But Proffery stayed upright, with help from Destiny holding on to Gretchen’s arm in a snakebite. Not long later, Proffery kicked out at Flanders’s left ankle with his right foot, and Flanders almost fell. But once again a girlfriend saved a boyfriend from falling down in this chicken fight. This
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time it was Gretchen holding on to Destiny in a snakebite on her wrist.
“Snakebites, Brother,” said Proffery. “Women’s kind of fighting.”
“Kicking…men’s kind of fighting,” said Flanders.
“You guys have it easy in chicken fights,” said Destiny. “All you have to do to win is to stay standing.”
“We gals have to do it all,” said Gretchen. “For us gals, it is like we are riding a bucking bronco.”
“Brother,” said Flanders, “we carry a hundred plus pounds on our back, and behold how the women murmur”
“Don’t expect them to lift a sword or raise a crossbow,” said Proffery also in fun jest.
Everybody laughed.
Just then Gretchen grabbed a hold of Proffery’s right arm at the long sleeved cuff and she gave his covered wrist a snakebite in both of her hands as hard as she could. He squawked and forced his arm out of her grip. And in so doing, his right arm let go of Destiny’s under side of her knee. In panic at falling and losing, Destiny put both of her arms around Proffery’s upper portion of his head. And down went crossbow man and cheerleader. The two lay there apart in the sand and began to laugh.
“What do you have to say about us women and our feminine snakebites now, Proffery?” teased Gretchen, still upon Flanders’s back
“I say, Gretchen, two out of three!” Proffery said in gaiety.
“Two out of three it shall be,” said the still standing Flanders.
The cheerleader brushed sand off of her skirt pleats and once again got up onto the crossbow man’s back. And they resumed their frolic in the Good Havens.
This time the men tried a different strategy. They now began to knock against each other with their shoulders. And the women upgraded their tactics as well. Now they began to grab a hold of each
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other’s long brown hair on all the sides of their heads. With one hand holding onto the opponent’s hair and with the other hand holding tight around their boyfriend’s neck, the women were once again inadvertently fighting against their own teammate. As the women would not let go thus, the men found themselves tripping up over their own feet. “Let go, Little Sister,” said Gretchen, the whole right side of her hair along her head tightly gripped by Destiny’s left hand.
“No. You let go, Big Sis,’” said Destiny, much of the hair in the back of her head now gripped by Gretchen’s right hand.
“Give up?” asked Gretchen.
“No. Do you give up?” asked Destiny.
“Never!” said Gretchen.
The men were knocking their shoulders into each other’s shoulders in this great playground of sand. “Brother, our girlfriends and their feminine trash talk reminds me of a riddle that I made up long ago,” said Flanders.
“Do tell me your riddle, Flanders,” said Proffery.
“What do you call it when the wife of Wyatt Earp and the wife of Morgan Earp and the wife of Doc Holliday have a quarrel?” posed Flanders his riddle.
“What?” asked Proffery.
“Cat fight at the O. K. Corral,” said Flanders.
The cheerleader and the pom pom girl did not cheer or chant a good review. But their faces betrayed their true laughter inside. And they yet tenaciously held on to each other’s hair.
“Destiny, you’re smiling,” said Flanders.
“You are, too, Gretchen,” said Proffery.
“No. We’re not,” said the two girls.
“You both loved my joke,” said Flanders.
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“No. We didn’t,” lied the two women.
“Yes. You did,” said Flanders.
Proffery said, “Brother, look how they are trying so hard not to laugh.”
Just then the two girls let go of each other’s hair and put their hands to their own mouths to cover up their smiles and their laughs. And in their so doing, they accidentally upset their men’s balance. The men stumbled in their footing in the midst of their shoulder-bucking. And Flanders almost fell down, carrying the pom pom girl on his back. And Proffery did fall down with his cheerleader still on top of him. Proffery and Destiny now had two falls already to Flanders’s and Gretchen’s none.
And now the girls laughed.
“They are laughing at my joke,” said Flanders.
“They are laughing at me,” said Proffery in mirth.
“You’re both funny,” said Destiny.
“Proffery, what do you have to say now?” asked Gretchen.
“I request three out of five,” he said.
“Three out of five I accept,” said Flanders.
Destiny got up from the sand and shook her cheerleader skirt pleats free from the sand once again.
“Little Sister, you’re doing that a lot in our game in the Good Havens this day,” said Gretchen.
“Big Sister, this time it is not just on the outside of my skirt,” said Destiny.
“Are you uncomfortable, Destiny?” teased Flanders.
“I don’t have any problem in my case,” said Proffery.
“You’re not a girl, boyfriend,” said Destiny.
“She means that you don’t wear a skirt,” said Gretchen.
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Miss Fables the younger then climbed up upon Proffery’s back for a third game of today’s chicken fights. This time the men both pursued using their riders’ feet as weapons as a means to knock down each other. The women riders, riding piggyback thus, were carried in such a way that their feet stuck out from their carriers’ sides at about belly level of their men, either straight outward or down at an angle depending on the bend of the women’s knees. Well, the men began to swing their own bodies left and right in order to strike out at each other with their girlfriends’ sneaker-covered feet.
And the ladies, swept up in the spirit of the game in the sand dunes, began to throw some feeble punches toward each other’s upper arms.
And in this melee shifting feet and slugging fists struck in most unintended places. Instead of full contact, man vs. man, with these women’s feet, the men were accidentally striking out their own girlfriends’ feet against the girlfriends themselves riding the opponent. That is, the pom and dance girl accidentally got struck with the cheerleader’s feet, and the cheerleader accidentally got struck by the pom and dance girl’s feet. But the situation for the women was just as random a free-for-all. While the girls sought to punch on each other, what happened, instead, was that some of their punches struck the men who were carrying them.
“This is nothing at all like all-star wrestling, guys,” said Gretchen Fables.
“Are you women sure that you wrestle for a living?” asked Flanders. “You hit like a boxer.”
“I’m sore all over, but I like it,” said Destiny.
“I don’t know about you, Brother, but their feet hurt me more than do their fists,” said Proffery.
“I’ve got another riddle,” said Flanders.
“Amen! Let’s hear it, boyfriend,” said Gretchen.
“Tell us another one,” said Destiny in the midst of great confusion of chicken fights.
And Flanders told the riddle in the middle of this full contact game in the Good Havens, “When is baking an easy pie not baking an easy pie?”
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A moment of thought in the midst of chaos passed, and Proffery asked, “When?”
And Flanders said, “When it is a piece of cake,”
They all laughed and the roughhousing ceased for just a moment. Gretchen said, “This second one is shorter, but the first one is better.”
“No, Big Sis,’” said Destiny. “The shorter one was better.”
Flanders said, “They’re both equally good. Aren’t they?”
Proffery said, “No. Flanders, they are both equally bad.”
“Why have we stalled?” asked Gretchen. “We girls want some more action.”
“Let’s go back to our ‘battle royal,’” said Destiny.
And they resumed this third chicken fight in the sand dunes. And suddenly the pom and dance girl accidentally struck Proffery with a roundhouse right into his temple. And he saw stars. And he fell down upon his bottom, the cheerleader falling down likewise underneath him, herself also on her bottom.
Mortified at what she had just done not on purpose, Gretchen said, “I’m really, really sorry.”
But Proffery got back to his feet, his senses re-orientated again, and he smiled and ventured, “Four out of seven.”
“Can we, boyfriend?” asked Gretchen.
“Four out of seven it shall be,” said Flanders.
“Big Sister, what you did…my boyfriend never saw it coming,” said Destiny.
“I did not know what hit me, girlfriend,” said Proffery.
Then Destiny got up from the sand, and she began to brush off sand all over her cheerleader uniform—this time not just the skirt, but also the vest.
“Little Sister, now you’ve got sand inside your vest, too, this time,” said Gretchen.
“Are you uncomfortable?” asked Proffery.
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“Not as uncomfortable as your head is, smart boyfriend,” said the cheerleader.
“Touché,” said Gretchen.
“Touché to you, Big Sister,” said Destiny.
In this manner, the four Christians of the Good Havens continued on in their full-contact version of chicken fights and in the trash talk and goofy talk and nonsensical talk that goes on when friends get together and play rough. This sand dunes from God was a most fun and enjoyable place as well as a most Utopic and Paradisaical place.
Meanwhile, battle of words was taking place between good and evil in the heavens of the firmament. Michael and Gabriel were arguing with Lucifer, and Lucifer was arguing with Michael and Gabriel. These three angels were the only angels mentioned by name in the Holy Bible. Michael and Gabriel were good angels. Lucifer, also called “Satan” and “the Devil,” was the chief fallen angel. In Revelation 12:7-9, it is written about angelic warfare in high places, “And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels, And prevailed not; neither was their place found any more in heaven. And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.” This great dragon was Lucifer.
Lucifer went on to say to Archangel Michael and to Archangel Gabriel, “Behold my Baneful Unicorn, that there is none like him in all winged unicorn-kind. Behold how he does rule and reign for me over Upper Michigan. Behold how he does good work. Behold what I have done to the Upper Peninsula because of him and through him. Behold murders and infidelity and immorality and broken homes and dysfunctional families and drunkenness and illegal drugs and gambling and cursing and everything else that you two call evil that I and my demon unicorn have put into the hearts and lives of the people of Upper Michigan in all of its land. Behold the misery of miserable people. Behold how
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my Baneful Unicorn’s people take the name of the Lord in vain and not in praise. Behold my Baneful Unicorn’s journeys to Wisconsin to do my work of evil down there as well. Behold how my Demon of the Upper Peninsula is invincible and how none can hinder him.”
Gabriel went on to say to Lucifer in reprisal, “That Baneful Unicorn is like unto his father the Devil. And the lusts of his father Lucifer he does do. You are a murderer from the beginning, and abide not in the truth, because there is no truth in you. When you speak a lie, you speak of your own: for you are a liar, and the father of lies.” Thus John 8:44 paraphrased.
Lucifer fired a fiery dart back at Gabriel, bragging on his chief unicorn demon further, “My great winged unicorn is truly a bane to all who must someday die. With my Baneful Unicorn I shall conquer in conquest Earth’s last sinless haven—the Maker’s sand dunes in Beaver, Wisconsin. He shall go into those Fair Havens and put sin therein. He shall swoop down upon it and fill it with evil. He shall make your God’s little paradise there a place no better than the rest of the sinful world of Earth. He will take away that place’s divine beauty that you two seem to like as angels of God. My Baneful Unicorn will make it a desert.”
Michael then went on to retaliate, saying to Lucifer, “The Almighty God Most High rebuke you, Lucifer, My Father made me, and He made you, we two angels the most redoubtable of all angelic hierarchy. You chose to rebel against your Maker. I choose to be faithful to my Maker. Our Creator is also the Good Havens’ Creator. And the Good Havens’ Creator is also the Good Havens’ Protector.
Any unclean spirit like your Demon from Upper Michigan must get past God in order to destroy His sand dunes. Two mighty Christian soldiers have been training for battle with a sword and a crossbow to slay your mighty Baneful Unicorn dare he to step out onto the sand dunes with his foul presence. Just as the Lord has banished you from Heaven, so, too, will the Lord expel your prize unicorn from Earth. Devils do not belong in the Good Havens.”
Lucifer went on to fire a flaming arrow of words back now this time unto Michael, saying to
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him, “Vital young men have died fighting the Baneful Unicorn. These were also Christian warriors.
These have all died fighting for the cause of Jesus. Where was their God when they needed Him?
Where will be the God of the swordsman and the God of the crossbow man when they need Him
when I come down to slay them?”
Gabriel went on to say to Lucifer, “Nay. The question is not, ‘Where was God?’ God is there with His saints through valley and mountaintop. The question is, ‘Where are those Christian soldiers who have fallen in battle now?’ And I do answer thus, ‘They are resting now in the glories and the joys of Heaven.’”
Michael went on to ask, “Lucifer, let me ask you this, ‘Where are you and the Baneful Unicorn going when your time comes to pass on this Earth?’ I answer so, ‘You both will be in the lake of fire of Hell’. Woe unto you, O Lucifer, when your judgment day from God does fall upon you in your imminent and inescapable day of reckoning.”
Stubborn and turning the conversation off of himself after this indictment upon his destiny, Lucifer went on to say, “Look at my Baleful Griffin. He is truly a baleful griffin of baleful griffins. Among griffin demons I command none greater than he. My Demon of Wisconsin has cast my dark shadow throughout all of Wisconsin, making it black with my presence. He has taken on the Word of God among the people of that state and has won. He has fought wars against the spoken Word of God and against the written Word of God and against the read Word of God and against the preached Word of God. And he is not afraid to challenge the living Word of God Himself, the Lord Jesus Christ.”
Gabriel went on to say, “O Lucifer, son of the morning, it is written, ‘For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword,..,’ Hebrews 4:12.”
“If that is true,” snapped Lucifer, “then where is your Bible in all of the Christian bookstores in Wisconsin? I look around in this state and I see in your Christian bookstores my Bibles—those which you two call ‘false translations.’ I see the New International Version. I see the New King James
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Version. I see all of the other versions. But how many King James Versions do I see in those same Christian bookstores? How many do you see, Gabriel? How many do you see, Michael? If your King James Bible is so great a Good Book, then how come nobody is buying any? How come nobody is selling any? How come Christendom says that the King James is outdated, and that is is too hard to understand, and that there are mistakes in it? Long live my modern translations!”
“What? Ho!” said Gabriel unto Lucifer. “Those modern translations add to and take away from the perfect Word of God, which is the King James Holy Bible.”
“It is written in Revelation 22:18, O Lucifer, that if any man add to the Word of God, that God will add unto that man great and terrible plagues,” said Michael. “And also is it written in Revelation 22:19, that if any man take away from the Word of God, that God will take away his part out of Heaven.”
“That is what will happen to you, and that is what will happen to your Baleful Griffin,” said Gabriel.
Again shifting the focus off of his eternal doom to come, Lucifer went on to say, “Because of the Baleful Griffin, Wisconsin has left the fundamental churches and has gone to the ecumenical churches. All of the churches which had once been pillars and grounds of the truth throughout Wisconsin are now entertainment churches. This Demon of Wisconsin has tempted all the last remaining Godly Baptist churches to now become nondenominational churches. The churches no longer sing from the hymnbook; now they sing choruses. The sermons in the churches in Wisconsin are no longer ‘hellfire and brimstone’ preaching. The pastors now preach only good and happy things. The ministers no longer warn about false teachers, no longer preach against sin, no longer teach on judgment. My Baleful Griffin has been my champion in Wisconsin throughout all the denominations in their diverse and sundry churches big and small. I own Wisconsin now because of my Demon of Wisconsin.”
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Michael went on to say, “Lucifer, Lucifer, in II Corinthians 11:13-15, it is written about your churches and your pastors and your false denominations, ‘For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ. And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness, whose end shall be according to their works.’”
“Angels of light like yourself and the Baleful Griffin will end up in the eternal place of utter and outer darkness in Hell to come.” said Gabriel. “And their false ministers, as well, and these will receive greater damnation.”
“My two contrary peers,” said Lucifer, “where are the saved people in Wisconsin? No where! Where are the lost people in Wisconsin? Everywhere!” He then went on to say, “You two have the minority, and I have the majority.”
Michael went on to say, “But with God on our side, we are on the winning side,”
Again dodging God’s truth of eternity, Lucifer went on to say, “Nonetheless, my Baleful Griffin shall knock every last piece of Wisconsin’s last good Baptist church down to the ground. Woe unto that Second Advent Baptist Church! Woe unto its flock! Woe unto its pastor! And most dire woe upon those two Christian soldiers to whom God gave the ministry of protecting its building from my Baleful Griffin! As my Demon of Wisconsin, has done to all the other churches from within, he shall do likewise to the last church from without!”
“’In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise,’ Proverbs 10:19, O Lucifer,” said Gabriel, chastising the Devil for his many and ungodly words.
“The Lord rebuke you, Lucifer,” said Michael in condemnation.
And this quarrel in the skies among angelic hierarchy good and evil came to its conclusion. With a huff, Lucifer left, to again go to and fro in the Earth and to walk up and down in it. And with a sigh, Michael and Gabriel returned to Heaven to the throne of God to await His next mission for them.
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CHAPTER X
“Today I shall talk about the trumpet judgments upon the world of the tribulation spoken of in the book of revelation,” preached Pastor Canon from the pulpit of Second Advent Baptist Church. The four Christians of the Good Havens were here once again, ever-faithful, ever-early, and ever in the front row of seats. Pastor continued, “There are seven trumpet judgments ushered into the Earth from seven angels blowing seven trumpets, one after another. And these trumpet judgments are found in Revelation chapter eight and chapter nine and the end of chapter eleven.”
Pastor now began a message on these judgments from God in the time of Earth’s darkest seven years, “The first angel blows his trumpet, and, behold, fire falls down from the sky. It comes down like rain or like snow, except it burns up everything upon which it lands. I have come to conceive this falling fire to be like balls of fire the size of baseballs. My wife sees this falling fire to be only the size of raindrops or snowflakes. What we do know is what the Scriptures tell us what it looks like; the Bible calls this falling fire, ‘hail and fire mingled with blood.’ Thank the Lord that none of us born-again believers will be here to go through it. But all the lost will be here to suffer it. Suppose a family in the tribulation has a picnic on the Fourth of July in their backyard. The first trumpet sounds, and
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suddenly fire falls from the sky right atop their picnic where they are sitting and eating. This burning
plague assuredly sets fire to the picnic and does threaten to set fire to the picnickers. For their own safety the family flees to shelter and escapes to their house right there. But the fire continues to fall like hail, upon the house as well as upon the ground. And parts of the house itself become set on fire. After a while the house is a conflagration. It is quite burning down to the ground. For their own safety, the family is forced back outside, from where they had just escaped. And they have no where else to go. And they hide under the trees. But the book of Revelation tells us that this fire will burn to the ground one out of every three trees in the world. Which tree should a person in this storm choose to hide under in order to survive? Think what this will do to the forests of northeastern Wisconsin and the rest of the woods of this Earth. Even a forest cannot save a person. Were he to try to escape the fiery hailstones of this judgment by fleeing to the woods, he will find himself in a blazing forest fire. And this fire which first fell upon their picnic is especially falling upon the green grass of their yard. The Scriptures tell us that this fire of this first trumpet judgment indeed burns up all of the grass of this globe. There will be no more nice lawns in the city; nor nice fields in the country. The nice green grass of this family who had gone outside for a picnic will be on fire underneath their feet. There is no escape for this family. They are doomed with judgment, and there are six more trumpet judgments to come upon this Christ-rejecting Earth.”
Pastor cleared his throat and continued his sermon, “Next, the second angel blows on his trumpet, and, lo, a veritable mountain, burning with fire, comes crashing into the ocean. Right after this, one-third of all the oceans of this world turn into blood. The salt water of the seas now become the bloody water of God’s judgment. One-third of all sea life die in these bloody oceans, Further, one-third of all the ships and of all the boats in the seven seas are destroyed. Two-thirds of the marine life in the oceans yet live. And two-thirds of the ships and the boats are not destroyed. And as for the two-thirds of the seas that are not turned to blood, I would think that the one-third that is blood, will
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spread out and pervade the two-thirds that is not blood. Either way, the once sky blue oceans will now become blood red oceans. And broken up pieces of ships and dead fish will be washed ashore from country to country. And there will be wrecked debris and foul smell where mankind had once gone to enjoy the beaches.”
Pastor Canon then went on to the next item on his notes, “Next, the third angels blows his trumpet. And this time, God’s judgment upon wicked man smites the fresh waters of the world. These are the waters that all of creation need to drink in order to survive. It all starts, after the trumpet is blown, with a great and falling star, burning like a lamp, crashing down into the fresh waters. The Bible calls this star, ‘Wormwood.’ The Bible says that Wormwood falls ‘into the third part of the
rivers and fountains of waters.’ I would say that to mean ‘the third part of the rivers and of the creeks and of the lakes and of the ponds and of the channels.’ My flock, Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary defines ‘wormwood,’ as ‘something bitter or grievous; bitterness.’ So when this falling star called ‘Wormwood’ comes crashing down upon one-third of our fresh waters, it will turn bitter one-third of our fresh waters. One-third of all this Earth’s drinking water will become bitter. Furthermore, this bitter water in this third trumpet judgment is not just a bad taste to drink down. Nay, this bitter water from Wormwood is a deadly taste of poison to drink down. Many men and women and children will die from drinking this planet’s bitter water just for the cause of satisfying parched thirst. In this tribulation world of this third trumpet judgment of God, a person is caught in deadly horns of dilemma. If he does not drink any more water or anything that might contain water to avoid dying from the bitter poison, he will die of thirst in three days. If he does not want to die of thirst, he gives in, turns on the faucet or opens a bottle of water from his refrigerator, and takes in a cold drink to assuage his dry mouth and dry tongue and dry throat. And, lo, he has just drunk poison. And he will soon die from the bitter waters made poisonous by Wormwood.”
The wise and learned preacher then continued his sermon of the day, saying, “Then the fourth
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angel blows his trumpet of judgment. And God strikes His judgments upon the firmaments. He smites dark one-third of the daytime sky, and He smites dark one-third of the nighttime sky. How does the Bible explain this to us? God says in His Word in Revelation 8:12 about this, ‘…, and the third part of the sun was smitten, and the third part of the moon, and the third part of the stars; so as the third part of them was darkened, and the day shone not for a third part of it, and the night likewise.’ Myself as a pastor do not comprehend what this will look like when it happens. Only those who are left behind when we of this flock are raptured will see first hand what it will be like. I just know that scary supernatural phenomena will be wrought in the skies above our Earth. It will be truly eerie. Men will be saying things like, ‘It never used to be like this,’ and ‘Things are different now,’ and ‘The world is coming to an end.’ And everybody will know that God is angry. And an angel of God will fly in the heavens and exclaim in declaration to humankind below, ‘Woe, woe, woe, to the inhabiters of the earth by reason of the other voices of the trumpet of the three angels, which are yet to sound!’ Revelation 8:13. Yes, things go from bad to worse for the people who live in the tribulation earth.”
Pastor Canon continued his eschatological sermon, saying, “Then the fifth angel goes and blows his trumpet unto the world of the end times. And God opens up the bottomless pit. And great dark smoke billows out of the mouth of this bottomless pit like the smoke of a great furnace. And this smoke darkens the light of day and the breath of air. Behold locusts! Behold demons! Behold tormentors! All three are one. And these tiny demonic beasts wage war on the unsaved among humankind. These demon locusts come out of this pit with the smoke and do attack all of the lost people out there. What do these locusts look like? God tells us in Revelation 9:7-11.” And Pastor read
this passage out loud to his flock, “And the shapes of the locusts were like unto horses prepared unto battle; and on their heads were as it were crowns like gold, and their faces were as the faces of men.
And they had hair as the hair of women, and their teeth were as the teeth of lions. And they had breastplates, as it were breastplates of iron; and the sound of their wings was as the sound of chariots
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of many horses running to battle. And they had tails like unto scorpions, and there were stings in their tales: and their power was to hurt men five months. And they had a king over them, which is the angel of the bottomless pit, whose name in the Hebrew tongue is Abaddon, but in the Greek tongue hath his name Apollyon.” Pastor continued his words on this fifth trumpet judgment, “Does anybody know of any agony worse than a sting from a scorpion here in the world of creation?” None raised his hand. Pastor went on to say. “Well when these locusts sting a man with his scorpion tail, that man will have to endure this overwhelming torments for five months. The Scriptures tell us how bad it will be for such a person in Revelation 9:6: ‘And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them.’ About this demon of the bottomless pit? His Hebrew name ‘Abaddon’ can be translated into English as ‘Destruction.’ And his Greek name ‘Apollyon’ can be translated into English as ‘Destroyer.’”
Pastor Canon then went on to give two allegories of life in these end times with the locusts coming upon the world. He said first, “Suppose a man and his three grown sons are playing the basketball-shooting game called, ‘Twenty-one.’ Then the four men hear a most fearsome noise coming from not far away, a noise like a storm only not a storm. It sounds like a thousand chariots coming from the sky. And it sounds like several hundred horses galloping upon the ground. Though these men have never encountered such a happening, they all had heard about it from others. And they all know what this sound portends. It is the locusts! And the locusts in their swarms are coming this time toward the four men themselves! It was quickly getting nearer and louder. The dad says in fear, ‘Come into the house, sons!’ The four run into the house in time, and they all shut themselves up into the bedroom closet. And they wait it out. And they tremble and speak not a word. After a while, the sound of the little demons passes on by. The locusts did not get into the house. And the four men are all right. But they are scared to death. And when they come back out of the house, they decide to not play twenty-one anymore as long as the locust demons still plague the Earth.” Then Pastor Canon said
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secondly, “Suppose a man in the tribulation has just earned his Ph. D after many years studying in grad school. This educated man knows more about his field of study than the average man knows about everything. Lo, along come the locust swarm down upon him where he stands. What is this brilliant man with his brilliant mind going to do? Will he say to them, ‘You can’t hurt me. I graduated from grad school?’ No. Will he hold up his Ph. D. in front of himself as a shield against these demons?”
No. He cannot. Will he scare these locusts by telling them about his erudite thesis that he had written?
Hardly. Nor will he say to them, ‘I am too smart for you to sting me.’ Nay, they will attack him en masse. And he will never be the same scholar again.”
Next Pastor said, “Then the sixth angel blows his trumpet in Heaven. And this time bigger and more numerous demons attack the people of the world. And these demonic beasts are sent to kill.
This judgment sends demon riders on demon horses to attack mankind. And this supernatural army numbers two hundred million demons! The Bible describes the demons of this countless army in Revelation 9:17, wherein it says, ‘And thus I saw the horses in the vision, and them that sat on them, having breastplates of fire, and of jacinth, and brimstone: and the heads of the horses were as the heads of lions; and out of their mouths issued fire and smoke and brimstone.’ The next verse goes on to say, ‘By these three was the third part of men killed, by the fire, and by the smoke, and by the brimstone, which issued out of their mouths.’ One out of every three men and women and boys and girls will die from this assault on humankind from this innumerable army of demons.’
Then Pastor finished his sermon of the day of God’s trumpet judgments upon the end times world and its great wickedness, “Then the seventh angel blows his trumpet before God on His throne, and God Almighty makes preparations for the vial judgments soon to come upon the Christ-rejecting world shortly. And in Heaven, worshipers fall down on their knees before Jesus and proclaim, ‘We give Thee thanks, O Lord God Almighty, which art, and wast, and art to come.’”
Then the good Baptist missionary said, “We, today, late in this church age, are also called upon
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to thank the Good Lord, Who is and Who was and Who is to come. All of His judgments are right. All of His blessings are right. All of His ways are right. All of His thoughts are right. And all of His Words are right. Who are we of this flock of Second Advent Baptist Church to not thank our Lord Jesus that He has spared us believers here today from all of these trumpet judgments to come in the times of the tribulations? Let us stand now and sing the chorus to the hymn ‘Thank You, Lord.’”
And the pastor and the flock of Second Advent Baptist Church stood and sang this chorus which they all loved to sing:
“Thank You, Lord, for saving my soul,
Thank You, Lord, for making me whole;
Thank You, Lord, for giving to me
Thy great salvation so rich and free.”
Pastor then said, “Right now we have the wonderful opportunity to baptize and vote into church membership two fine Christian ladies who would never miss a service no matter what. I ask you of the flock to stay and join in this ordinance. It will take place out back in Left Foot Creek right where it flows into Left Foot Lake.”
Everyone in church right now quickly assented with an, “Amen, Pastor!” The whole flock was going to stay for the baptism. The two girls who were being baptized were none other than the
Fables twins themselves. And they were dressed for this baptism even in their beloved green and gold and white that they always wore in all times of worship and in all times that were not worship. Truly they should have been baptized earlier in their Christian lives for the many faithful years that they had served their Lord and for their near-perfect attendance at this Second Advent Baptist Church for so long. But they hesitated for fear of having their heads put down under water. But they had prayed for Holy Ghost courage to overcome their fears. And God took away their fears. And they were ready now to get baptized. And the Fables twins were eager now for this ordinance and no longer anxious about it. In fact now they could not wait for it to happen. And not only were their boyfriends-in-the-
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Lord going to be here for them and with them, but all of their other brothers-and-sisters-in-Christ were also staying after church to be here, too.
What is baptism for what it is not supposed to be? Truly baptism is not supposed to be for babies. Baptism is not supposed to be for removal of original sin. Baptism is not supposed to be pouring of water or sprinkling of water. That is false teaching of false churches.
What is baptism for what it is supposed to be? Indeed baptism is supposed to be for the born-again believers. Baptism is supposed to be for those who have reached the age of accountability. Baptism is supposed to be complete immersion in water. This is true baptism according to the Holy Bible.
The flock walked out back of the church out onto the place where the creek flowed into the lake. And Pastor preached upon baptism: “Believers’ baptism is the first commandment for a person after he or she becomes a Christian. It is an outward testimony of an inward faith. It is the picture of the death and burial and resurrection of Christ. In Acts chapter eight Philip baptized an Ethiopian eunuch. The eunuch had just gotten saved. He said to Philip, ‘See, here is water; what doth hinder me to be baptized?’ And Philip said to the eunuch, ‘If thou believest with all thine heart, thou mayest.’
And he said to Philip, ‘I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.’ And then it is written, ‘…they went down both into the water…and he baptized him…and they were come up out of the water…’”
Pastor then went on to preach upon Acts chapter two, saying, “First must come salvation; second must come baptism; third must come church membership. It is written in Acts 2:41. ‘Then they that gladly received his word were baptized; and the same day there were added unto them about three thousand souls.’ Again it is written in Acts 2:47, ‘…, and the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved.’”
Then Pastor Canon stepped out in the junction of Left Foot Creek and Left Foot Lake in his suit and tie. And he held out his hand to Gretchen Fables up on the bank. And the pom and dance girl in
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her green and gold and white stepped out into the flowing waters and waded out to him. Where she stood now, the waters were up to her belly. Pastor Canon then asked, “Gretchen Fables, do you believe that the Lord Jesus died for your sins and rose again the third day?”
“I do believe, Pastor,” said Miss Fables the elder.
Pastor then asked her, “And have you asked the Lord Jesus to become your personal Saviour?”
“I have,” said Gretchen. She then put squeezed her nose with her thumb and index finger and closed her mouth tight for the grand event of the day.
Pastor then declared, “Miss Gretchen Liz Fables, I do now baptize you in the name of the Father and in the name of the Son and in the name of the Holy Spirit.” Then he put her completely in the water, and he took her back up out of the water.
“Amen!” praised her boyfriend Flanders.
Gretchen dared to take a look upon her precious pom pom girl uniform now all wet, and it did not look the worse for wear with this baptism. And it was not bad having her whole head put under water like this. And she felt indeed the joy of having taken a step of growth in the Lord, having finally obeyed God’s commandment to get baptized.
While Miss Fables the elder was still in the waters with Pastor, the pastor looked up to the flock on the banks and asked, “Do I hear a motion to accept Gretchen Fables into the rolls of membership of Second Advent Baptist Church?”
“I first the motion, Pastor,” immediately said Flanders Nickels, raising his hand.
“Do I hear a second?” asked the Baptist missionary.
“I second the motion,” said Proffery.
Then said Pastor Canon. “All in favor, say, ‘Aye.’”
Everybody said, “Aye.”
“Opposed, say, ‘Nay,’” said Pastor.
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None said, “Nay.”
“Motion carried,” said the Baptist missionary. “Gretchen, you have now become a member of our good little church. Good flock, greet our new member and give her a good welcome into our flock of God.”
The pom pom girl waded up to the shore, and climbed up to the bank and everybody came up to her and congratulated her and gave her a welcome in her officially becoming a member of their little flock of God. And there was joy and rejoicing among all here out back of the church.
Now it was Destiny’s turn to get baptized. She jumped right into the waters with the nimbleness of the cheerleader that she was. And she drenched her greens and golds and whites of her cheerleader uniform with the excitement of this moment. Getting baptized like this was really fun.
And she couldn’t wait for this moment. And she ran in the flowing waters to get right to where Pastor awaited her, Pastor then asked, “Destiny Fables, do you believe that Christ the Lord died for your sins and rose from the grave on the third day?”
“I truly do,” said Miss Fables the younger.
“And have you asked Jesus the Lord to become your personal Saviour?” he asked.
“That I did, Pastor,” said the cheerleader.
“Then, Destiny Jean Fables, I now baptize you in the name of the Father and Son and Holy Ghost,” said the good Baptist minister. And he put the cheerleader down into the water and did bring her back up out of the water. The water dripping down her eyes and face and head, she looked up at her boyfriend Proffery.
And he called forth, “Amen, my Destiny!” And he gave her an “okay” gesture with his hand in great admiration and approval.
Pastor Canon then asked his flock, “Do I hear a motion now to accept Destiny Fables into the rolls of our church membership?”
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“I first the motion,” said Gretchen, herself now able to vote, since she was now a member.
“Do I hear a second motion?” asked Pastor.
“I second the motion, Pastor Canon,” said Proffery Coins.
“All in favor say, ‘Aye.’” said Pastor.
“Aye!’” cheered the flock their cheerleader.
“All opposed, say, ‘Nay,’” said the Baptist preacher.
No one said, “Nay.”
“The motion is carried,” said Pastor Canon. “Good people of the flock, let us greet Destiny who has joined this church this day.”
Destiny ran in the water to the shore and climbed up it and gave her boyfriend a big hug of romance and happiness. Flanders paused to help the preacher up to dry land. And all the flock
welcomed the cheerleader into the fold with commendations and congratulations.
Then the Baptist preacher dismissed the flock with a word of prayer. And all stayed here for yet a while to enjoy sweet fellowship together.
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CHAPTER XI
The two Fables twins were celebrating girls’ day out together at Gretchen’s place this afternoon, and they had their pets with them. All four were lounging around the back yard by the sand dunes in fellowship and girl talk. Gretchen was sitting in the field grass with her box pleats all spread out around herself on the grass where she sat. Likewise, Destiny, with her knife pleats all spread out around herself where she was sitting as well in this field. Laddie was lying on his side, his head resting upon his mistress’s box pleats, and his eyes closed in sleep. And Donner was on his stomach, his chin resting upon his mistress’s knife pleats, and his eyes were open and looking up at Destiny.
Gretchen spoke and said, “I can see now a big difference between your pleats and my pleats, Little Sister. My box pleats spread out a lot farther than do your knife pleats.”
“I can see that, too, now,” said Destiny. “Your skirt must take more stitching than does my skirt.
“Do I dare budge? I might wake up Laddie,” said Gretchen. “My legs are getting stiff.”
“Big Sister, hold out for dear Laddie,” teased Destiny. “At least my dog is still awake.”
“I remember that day when you and Donner first found each other,” said Gretchen. “I knew right away that he would be family for the rest of his life.”
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“And I remember how you first fell in love with Laddie; and he, with you,” said Destiny. “You two were meant for each other for forever.”
“Tell me your true story again, Little Sister,” said Gretchen.
“You go first,” said Destiny. “You’re the big sister.”
“I get to tell my story first?” asked Gretchen.
“After that I will go next,” said Destiny.
“Okay,” said Gretchen, very glad. And she told her story of her and Laddie’s first moments together. The following is a narrative of that magical day:
The Fables family, Mom and Dad and Gretchen and Destiny, went on a trip to High Cliff State Park in Sherwood, Wisconsin, one fall day. This was another of many times that they all had come here, but this was the first time that they came in the warm time of year. All of the other times that they had come here was in the winters, to go sledding down its many steep hills. Everybody in this part of Wisconsin loved to go sledding in High Cliff State Park. Its chief hill was so steep and so long that it hurt the ankles just to climb the road that led to its top. And its ride down was speed for the joy of speed. But this time the park was warm and sunny and the leaves were falling. And this time the Fables family came here to walk around and to take in God’s beauty of nature in the woods. In a happy little ritual of all their sledding days that they had enjoyed here, Mom and Dad suggested, “Let’s walk up the sledding road.”
And the twin daughters, young teenagers now, both agreed and said, “Yes! Let’s!”
So the family of four began a steep and challenging trek up this popular little road from down at its base. And the younger Fables got to the top much more quickly than did the older Fables. And Gretchen and Destiny got to the top, turned around, and thought to see Mom and Dad coming both yet far behind and slowing down and resting. The two were alone now at the top of the high cliff.
Just then Gretchen thought that she heard an animal call from somewhere above her head
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and indeed from not far away. “Destiny, did you hear that?” asked Gretchen.
“I didn’t hear anything,” said Destiny. “It must have been the wind, Big Sister.”
“It did not sound like a bird,” said Gretchen.
“Why do you think that it had to be a bird?” asked Destiny.
“Because it came from way high up,” said Gretchen.
“It could be a flying horse or a winged unicorn or a good griffin or anything,” said Destiny.
“I must be hearing things,” said Gretchen. Then she heard it again, the same animal call and from the same high and near place as the first. “I heard it again, Little Sister,” she said.
“I didn’t hear that one either,” said Destiny. “What did it sound like?”
“It went ‘Whoof!’” said Gretchen.
“That sounds like a dog to me,” said Destiny.
“A dog is calling down to me from up there,” said Gretchen, not knowing where “there” was.
“You’re goofy, Gretchen,” said Destiny. “There are no such things as flying dogs.”
“Dogs don’t have wings,” confessed Gretchen. The girls looked around up in the sky to seek an impossible flying canine in the skies. Then Gretchen heard it a third time.
It called forth a clear and beckoning, “Woof!”
“I heard it again,” said Gretchen. “It has to be a big dog. Only a big dog can bark like that.”
“I didn’t hear it,” said Destiny. “I’ve got to go back down to Mom and Dad and tell them that my sister is hearing big dogs in the sky.”
“Don’t leave now, Little Sister. I think that something grand is going to happen for me here,” said Gretchen. But Destiny began to run down the steep and long little road to rejoin the rest of the family. But Gretchen felt glad in the Lord. She would find out who this mystery dog was who was calling out to her from the heights, and she could share this wondrous novel mystery with God her Saviour now that she was all alone with Jesus.
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She awaited another bark, but did not hear another bark. She searched the trees from where she stood. She searched the cliffs from where she stood. She again searched the skies from where she stood. Alas, all was silent and alone. Gretchen felt herself losing hope. She prayed to God for one more bark. Immediately that bark came forth, in an “Oof!” And it came from a wooden tower that was so high that up there one could see over all of the trees. She saw a beautiful Collie dog way up at its top, with his fore paws resting upon a wall about four feet high, and his handsome tri-color face looking down right upon her. Both of his ears were half-cocked; he was giving her a brown-eyed look: and his head was cocked to the side at her. For Gretchen Fables it was puppy love at first sight for this grown-up Collie. Of course he did not have wings, nor did he fly up here. Every tower in a park like this had steps upon which a visitor climbed to be as high up as he wanted to be. She had not thought to seek this mystery dog in this tower. But here he was. And he was at the top. And he was real. And he was still a mystery. She must get to know this Collie dog personally.
“I’m going to make you mine, O Collie,” she called forth. And she ran toward the state park’s tower to quickly go up and join this most especial dog whom she did not know. Once at the foot of the lookout tower, Gretchen paused and asked God for a sign that this dog was hers to make her own in the will of God. And she chose a test of savvy, and she said, “If it be Your will, Good Lord, that he become my own pet, then make this Collie of a dog do something so clever that it is impossible for man or dog to accomplish it.” Then with no further wait, Gretchen Fables ran into this tower and did indeed run all the way up its flights of winding steps until she got to the top. So quickly had her passion driven her to the top of these stairs, that though she had not been winded in the walk up the sledding road, this run up the tower stairs made her to stop at the top and catch her breath. And as she was regaining her breath she looked around at this top floor of much wood and open air and great height. And yet this most fascinating Collie dog was not anywhere up here. With the faith that surpassed her own years, Gretchen Fables prayed, “Lord, where did you put him?”
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Just then she heard a “hoof!” just outside this tower and from the ground. She leaned over the wall and looked several stories down. There he was, well and full of mischief and saying, “Hi,” to her in his own way.
How he had gotten down there must surely have been an act of God. He could not have jumped down there and survived. He could not have gone down the very stairs that she had just climbed, for she would have seen him on the stairs on her way up. He could not have just wished himself down there, and, lo, he was down there. It must have been something that God in His Deity had done just to beguile her and to answer her prayer. Or, perhaps, this Collie dog had just outsmarted her in a game of his own making. Gretchen Fables was never to find out.
“Hi, down there,” she now called down unto him. “Shall I come down and join you? O r shall you come up and join me?”
In reply, the magical Collie dog entered back into the tower, and Gretchen listened for paw steps upon the solid wooden stairs way down there from way up here. After a little while she could hear them. And then she saw him. And he came up to her, proffered her his right paw, and gave a loving whine like Lassie did on TV. Gretchen accepted his right paw in her right hand, and they shook hands in a most memorable introduction to each other.
“What’s your name, boy?” Gretchen sang out in ardor.
And the Collie whined again in affection for her and put his left paw upon the side of his neck. Gretchen put her hands to this left side of his neck and discovered a leather collar with three metal tags attached to it. The first one read, “Laddy”; the second one read, ‘Free to a good home”: the third one read, “Looking for a Christian mistress.”
“Laddy, with a ‘y,’” asked Gretchen, ‘may I call you instead, ‘Laddie’ with an ‘ie?’ One bark will mean a ‘no,’ and two barks will mean a ‘yes.”
Gretchen could see a most keen discernment in this young adult Collie’s eyes, and he gave
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a reply of two barks.
“Laddie, would you like to live with me at my good home at Mom and Dad’s?” asked Gretchen.
Then the girl said, “Two barks will be a ‘no,’ and three barks will be a ‘yes.’”
Laddie replied with three barks.
“I am a Christian girl, Laddie. Could I become your mistress?” asked Gretchen. “No barks will be a ‘no,’ and one bark will be a ‘yes.’”
Laddie replied with one bark.
Just then up into this state park’s lookout tower at its top here came Destiny. Destiny took one look at Laddie, and she said, “Big Sister, you were right all along. This Collie is as beautiful as even Lassie of TV. Do you think that Mom and Dad will let you keep him?”
“Oh, that they will,” said Gretchen, knowing that God’s will would also be Mom and Dad’s will.
Then Mom called out from the ground below, “Girls, what are you two doing up there?”
“Mom, Gretchen found a dog,” said Destiny.
“Actually a dog found me,” said Gretchen.
Dad called up to them, “My daughters, this sounds like it all came from God.”
“Oh, it did, Dad,” said Destiny.
“You were not even there then, Destiny,” said Dad.
“But I was here when it happened, Dad,” said Gretchen. “He did come from God.”
“Now I believe, O girls,” said Dad.
“May I keep him, Dad?” asked Gretchen.
“What God gives, let not man take away,” said Dad. “You may keep him, Gretchen.”
“Oh, amen and amen and amen,” said Gretchen. Thank you, Mom and Dad.”
“I have never seen so beautiful a Collie before as this one, husband,” said Mom.
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“Nor have I, my good wife,” said Dad.
Finishing her happy story to Destiny here by the sand dunes, Gretchen said, “And that was how I and Laddie became mistress and pet.”
So, then, how did Destiny and Donner first come to meet each other? Reader, the following is the dialogue that took place when Destiny came up to the rest of the family to introduce her new Donner to them. Allow this to tell you that story:
Dad said, “Destiny, did you have a fun time with Grandpa and Grandma in Oshkosh?”
“Oh. I did, Dad,” said Destiny.
“You’ve brought a German Shepherd back with you,” said Dad.
“Isn’t he the most handsome police dog that you ever saw, Dad?” asked Destiny.
“We already have a big dog,” said Mom.
“There is room for another big dog in our family,” said Dad.
Mom said, “He is really quite a handsome dog.”
“What’s his name?” asked Gretchen.
“I decided to call him, ‘Donner,’” said Destiny.
“Oh, Laddie will just love Donner, Little Sister, and Donner will just love Laddie,” said Gretchen.
Mom asked, “Where did you find him?”
“I didn’t find him, Mom. He found me,” said Destiny.
Gretchen said, “Right close to where Grandma and Grandpa live there is a dog pound with lots of dogs barking.”
When I came to Grandma and Grandpa’s I did not have Donner, but before I left Grandma and Grandpa’s I did have Donner,” said Destiny.
“It sounds like when you went to the dog pound to pick out a dog,” said Dad.
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“Actually I did not go to the dog pound to pick out a dog per se, Dad,” said Destiny. “Remember, Donner picked out me.”
“Okay. Donner picked you out at the dog pound,” said Dad.
“He did, Dad,” said Destiny. “But not in the dog pound.”
“You did not discover him in the dog pound?” asked Mom.
“I found him outside the dog pound,” said Destiny.
“Then he was not from the dog pound after all,” said Mom.
“Oh yes, Mom. Donner came from the dog pound,” said Destiny.
“Little Sister, there is something that you are not telling us,” said Gretchen.
“Donner was not in the dog pound, but he came from the dog pound,” said Dad.
“Mom, Dad, Gretchen, all the dogs got out that day!” elucidated Destiny Fables to her family her apparent paradoxes.
“Were they not supposed to be all out?” asked Gretchen.
“All of the dogs and cats in that pound were outside of the building and roaming around the city, and some were even a mile away,” said Destiny. “Donner was himself over a mile away.”
“They weren’t supposed to be out. Were they?” asked Gretchen.
“No. They were not supposed to be out. Big Sister,” said Destiny.
“Who did such a thing?” asked Mom.
“Tell us that it was not you,” said Gretchen.
“Don’t worry. It was not I,” said Destiny.
“Who did they say went and did that?” asked Dad. “Did they ever find out?
“It was a crazy guy in town who did that. He was a schizophrenic, And he would hurt no one,” said Destiny.
“How did they find him?” asked Mom.
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“They found him sleeping at the manager’s desk that very morning, sitting on his chair and resting his head on his desk,” said Destiny. “All the keys to all the cages were in his hands where he was asleep.”
“Did they press charges?” asked Mom.
“They did not,” said Destiny, “even though he had broken in illegally.”
“Did they ever get all of their animals back?” asked Mom.
“Everybody in the neighborhood helped round up every last cat and dog who had gotten out,” said Destiny. “And that schizophrenic himself rounded up the most of them,”
“My daughter, did you know about this before you went looking for one for yourself?” asked Dad.
“I did not, Dad,” said Destiny. “I just saw all of these dogs wandering around free, and I knew how Gretchen had Laddie, and now I wanted a dog for myself, too.”
“My fault, O daughter,” said Dad. “We should have looked for a dog for you to take care of, too.”
Mom said, “Is he friendly?”
“He is like Laddie, Mom,” said Destiny.
“Is he hungry and thirsty?” asked Mom.
“I think now he might be, Mom,” said Destiny.
Dad said, “Well, family, let’s take him into our family right now and give him good food and good drink.”
Just then Laddie came bounding up to Donner. A moment of truth was about to take place. Would the Collie and the new German Shepherd get along together? In play, Laddie pounced, stretched forth his forelegs, and dropped his fore paws upon Donner’s fore paws, and leaped back up straight and standing once again. In reply, Donner did likewise, pouncing and extending his forelegs
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outward, and tapping his fore paws upon Laddie’s fore paws, and leaping back up straight again into a standing position. Then in invitation to a game, Donner began to run back away from Laddie, desiring Laddie to run after him in a chase. And that Laddie did. And German Shepherd and Collie began a frolic in the fields of the yard.
Mom said, “Look how much fun those two are having,”
“Donner stays,” declared Dad.
And the young Fables twins ran out into the fields and joined in the game.
This tale was the tale of how Destiny had become the mistress of Donner.
And after having relived such good first days and remembering all the good days that came after in their lives as mistresses of big dogs, the Fables twins both had to stand and to stretch out their legs, whether their dogs were on their legs or not. Gretchen looked down upon her Collie, and now his eyes were open and he was no longer asleep. “Get up now, boy,” she said to him. He got up. And Destiny raised her hand upward to her German Shepherd, and he understood, and he got up. Then the pom and dance girl and the cheerleader girl got back to their feet and walked around.
“My ankles fell asleep on me,” said Gretchen.
“My feet fell asleep,” said Destiny. The natural tingling that came upon them now made the girls giggle. But after a while, their legs were back to normal.
Just then Destiny said, “Big Sister, look over there all around your North Cabin.”
Gretchen looked. And she said, “Fog.”
“It is dark gray, almost black,” said Destiny.
“It is coming from the north,” said Gretchen.
“Made by our God,” said Destiny.
“Not this fog, Little Sister,” said Gretchen.
“It’s coming upon us,” said Destiny. “Should we flee?”
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“Let’s get out of here!” cried out Gretchen. And the Fabled Girls called their dogs in urgency, and all four fled to the Good Havens for a refuge in Godspeed. All four were safe now in the sand dunes. Very quickly this eerie and supernatural fog spread across this whole back yard. Yet where the backyard reached the sand dunes, this dark fog ceased its advance. God had put a wall there that kept the Good Havens safe from wickedness and evil from without. The girls watched in muteness, and they saw the fog that could no longer go forward, now go sideways to both sides in this countryside of the North Cabin. It was more like smoke than it was like fog. The girls could see billows out there. And they saw sparks snapping in its clouds here by the ground. And though they could see everything safe and sound here in the sand dunes, and all was well for them here, looking out there in the rest of the countryside they could see nothing. The nebulous sinister fog obscured the rest of the world from their sight. Then they heard something. It sounded like little explosions bouncing off of the ground.
It was coming from the north. And it was going toward the south. And they were close to being right in the path of this phenomenon. Nor could they see what it was that was coming. It was shrouded by the amorphous dark fog out there. But they were safe in God’s hands here in His sand dunes. And the little explosions, as they drew near, began to sound like big explosions. The girls hugged each other in fear.
Gretchen said, “Remember, Little Sister, what the angel of the Lord said to Gideon when Gideon saw him,”
“He said to him, ‘Peace be unto thee; fear not: thou shalt not die.’” said Destiny. “Judges 6:23.” Then she said, “But this dark fog is not the Lord Who spoke to Gideon, Big Sister.”
“The Lord Who cared for Gideon is the same Lord Who cares for us, Little Sis,’” said Gretchen.
Then the continuous explosions came up to them, from outside the Good Havens, reverberating in the horizons out there in the world outside, and sounded like the vengeance of Hell. And suddenly they stopped. And all was deathly and suddenly quiet. It was as if this were the calm right now before
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the storm. But the still small voice of the Holy Spirit said to the girls, “Fear not, My daughters. This is the calm after the storm.”
And a God of omnipotent power over nature brought a gale from the south, a fierce wind that blew north here across the sand dunes, and on beyond to the north beyond this North Cabin. And this great wind was a divine comfort for the two girls to whom God had just spoken. And the Fables twins and their two pets saw this gale blast upon the supernatural fog and to blow it away and to cause it to dissipate and to reveal the bringer of this evil fog. There stood the Baneful Unicorn in the backyard, his form no longer concealed by his fog, and his self now exposed by the God of truth. The fog was gone. God was here. And the mistresses and their pets were yet safe in the Good Havens.
Defying Almighty God and seeking to intimidate mistresses and dogs, the Baneful Unicorn declared, “Yet fifty days, and I will destroy the Good Havens.”
Then, with no further ado, the Demon of Upper Michigan turned back around to run back north from where he had come, and he fled back up to the Upper Peninsula.
“I am not so afraid of him anymore,” said Destiny.
“Nor I, either,” said Gretchen.
Yet a look of caution still showed forth in Laddie’s eyes, and in Donner’s eyes there was still wariness.
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CHAPTER XII
Flanders and Proffery and Bree and Zephyr got together at Flanders’s East Cabin for a guy get-together. They were out back by the sand dunes sharing fellowship. They thanked God for their girlfriends and for their good health and for their Bibles and for their finances being met and for each other and for their pets. And they thanked God for the day that they both became masters, both men and both pets finding each other on the very same day. It happened at the Milwaukee County Zoo Garden. Zoo gardens were not zoos. Zoos exhibited wild animals in captivity, the workers taking care of the animals. But zoo gardens showcased wild animals for sale to good masters and good mistresses.
At a dog pound, cats and dogs were the main animals offered for adoption. And at a zoo garden, unicorns and griffins were the main animals offered for adoption, as well as multitudes of other wild animals seeking a master or mistress. One could not adopt a unicorn or a griffin as a pet at a dog pound. And one could not adopt a dog or a cat as a pet at a zoo garden. And Flanders and Proffery, best friends even way back then, had gone together to the Milwaukee County Zoo Garden to find the right pet that God would have for them in His answer to their prayers to become masters.
As the two masters and their pets lounged around here this day by the Good Havens behind the
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East Cabin, Bree and Zephyr got to roughhousing each other as pets of Christian soldiers would do.
Though Bree were a she-unicorn and though Zephyr were a she-griffin, they had innately acquired some male traits of their masters from being with them for so many years. And this one they were showing now in play was aggression. And with such play with such aggression, simple roughhousing seemed more like combat. Bree was brandishing her unicorn horn as Flanders would wield his sword. And Zephyr was firing pecks with her beak as Proffery would fire his crossbow.
“Brother, it is a good thing after all that our girlfriends are not here with us this day,” said Flanders.
“This roughhousing would scare them,” agreed Proffery.
“Don’t wrestle too hard, Bree. Remember we have a bad unicorn and a bad griffin that I need you to fight against with me down the road,” said Flanders.
“Yeah, don’t forget to save some of that martial urge of yours for the two demons that want to take us on not too many days from now, Zephyr,” said Proffery.
“I remember that day when we went shopping together at the zoo garden, Brother Proffery,” said Flanders.
“That day changed both of our lives for the good from then on,” said Proffery.
“I found Bree in the equine section in the unicorn region in the white demesne,” said Flanders.
“And I found Zephyr in the hybrid section in the griffin region in the tawny demesne,” said Proffery.
And Flanders Nickels went on to tell about that day that he and Bree had first found each other:
“I entered the Milwaukee County Zoo Garden with my hopes that God give me a unicorn to love and to cherish. I saw signs that told of a primate section and a saurian section and a wild feline section and a wild canine section and an ursine section and your hybrid section and my equine section. I saw the big sign that said “The Equine Section,” and I went right through the gate to seek my beloved new pet to
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make my own. I found regions for horses and regions for donkeys and regions for mules and regions for ponies and regions for zebras and regions for miniature horses and regions for unicorns. I went underneath the sign for the unicorn region and did walk through the gate unto a park full of unicorns.
Therein I saw demesnes for black unicorns and for red unicorns and for gray unicorns and for brown unicorns and for spotted and speckled unicorns and for white unicorns. I walked underneath the sign that read ‘white unicorns’ and through the gate. Behold traditional white unicorns everywhere grazing in a free range and looking for one like myself to have as master. I saw white unicorns with short horns and medium horns and long horns. I saw white unicorns with wings and without wings. And I saw white unicorns male and female.”
Flanders Nickels continued, “The first one that came up to me was an old unicorn with a thinning mane and with slow legs and with some gray upon his tail. He hobbled with age. I did not want an old unicorn. I wanted one young enough for me to spend much of the rest of my life with. I passed on him, and he went on grazing contentedly in the fields of the white unicorn demesne. Then a young unicorn came up to me with a nice full mane, and with a full tail, a female, and one that was portly. I did not want a fat and lazy unicorn. I passed on her. She went away, a dead fat rabbit in her teeth. Then a unicorn with wings swooped down from above and lighted upon the ground before me. This one was a male with a very long unicorn horn. And on his horn he was tooting contemporary music. I did not want a unicorn who played contemporary music on his horn. I wanted a unicorn that played psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, as God commands his believers to listen to in Ephesians 5:19 and in Colossians 3:16. I passed on him, and he went on playing a pop rock song that played on the radio much in those days. Then a most princely unicorn came bounding up to me in a flamboyance like unto a show horse. And he most surely fit the part. His mane and tail were long and full and blowing in the wind. And his gait was noble. And his visage was wise. He looked handsome like none other in this demesne. I said to God, ‘Lord, this one must surely be my one.’ But the still small voice
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told me, ‘My son, it is written, “…, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him; for the Lord seeth not as a man seeth; for man looketh upon the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh upon the heart.” I Samuel 16:7.’ In obedience to God and in all apt faith in my Lord, I passed on this bright and dashing he-unicorn. And in a huff, he turned his back side to me and scraped up earth with his back hooves and ran off, indignant. God was right about this one. Thank You, Lord.
Then a she-unicorn came up to me. She was a wingless unicorn, quite pretty, and yet still lank with youth of approaching maturity. Her legs were long for her frame and still thin with youth. Her frame needed to be filled out with some weight to look like a grown-up unicorn yet. Even her unicorn horn was not yet fully grown out into a traditional length as I saw unicorn horns. She was tooting the hymn, ‘The Old Rugged Cross,’ on her horn. She looked like she would do for me. But she did not strike my heart as the one that I was going to take care of and to share my life with for the rest of her many years of life left for her. I said to God, ‘I want one with wings, Lord.’ But God said to me, ‘My son, this one is My one. This day I give you both to each other. Talk to her. Befriend her. Buy her. Adopt her. Take her home with you. Be her master. Let her be your pet. And live with her in joy and rejoicing for many years.’ I wanted a winged unicorn so that I could fly in the skies on joy rides on her back way above the ground. I dared not repeat to God my demands for a winged unicorn, but I did think them hard in my thoughts up to God—thoughts that spoke loudly to God, ‘I want one with wings.’ And God said to me, ‘O vain man, what God gives, dare not refuse.’ My stubbornness had just gotten me in trouble with my Maker. In fear of God, I repented and said, ‘Your will be done, O Lord God.’ In my chastening, God had my new unicorn to turn around and to gallop off toward the next field. I had to run now to catch her to make her my own. Delayed obedience to God is the same thing as disobedience to God. And I now had to chase after my gift from God in order to not lose her now. She galloped. I sprinted. And I finally caught up to her three fields away. And I leaped and landed
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upon her back, and she then stopped her flight and stood there still. I was breathing heavily. She was breathing quite lightly. I had proven myself loyal to her in this way. And she stood there, loyal to me, and awaited my commands. I asked, ‘Would you take me up to the check out gate, girl? I’ve got a beautiful young unicorn to buy for myself.’ And she began to gallop to the front gate of this Milwaukee County Zoo Gardens, and we stopped before the cash register lanes.
When the cashier saw us two there, she said, ‘Sir, usually our customers are not yet riding their new pets when they come to the checkout lanes.’
“God wills it for me, miss,’ I said in faith. The cashier laughed a good and happy laugh of understanding. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my checkbook and my pen. And I wrote out the check to the zoo garden.
And the cashier told me, ‘This one is the most well-behaved animal of all the equine section, sir.
You found a prize that only God could give. She is our star unicorn. She will do you good all the days of your life.’
‘Really?’ I asked, my faith now becoming sight.
‘Really,’ she told me.
‘Ah. God is Good and wise, miss,’ I said.
‘That He is, sir.’ she said.
“I thank you for your kindness, miss,’ I said.
‘Do you have a name picked out for her, sir?’ she asked.
‘Not yet,’ I said. ‘Does this zoo garden have a name for her?’
‘We call her “Bree,”’ she said.
‘Bree,’ I said. ‘What a pretty name for a pretty unicorn.’
‘Her former master had a wife whom he loved, whose middle name was “Bree.” Man and wife were elderly. And she passed away. At her deathbed, she urged him to adopt a baby unicorn to ease his
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coming loneliness as a widower. And he agreed and said to her, “Her name shall be Bree,’” And his life as husband came to an end, and he went and found Bree, and his life as a master began. Then the master died, and Bree was now alone. And Bree then came here,’ said the cashier the whole story.
“I shall call her “Bree,”’ I said. ‘I shall make her a good master,’
‘She shall make you a most good pet,’ she said.
Bree turned her head to look back to me and did give a query in her eyes upon me. “What is she saying?’ I asked the cashier.
‘You shall know all of these things when you two grow together and learn about each other, sir,’ said the cashier. ‘Bree is now waiting for your next command as her new master.’
‘My next command?’ I asked. “’I am honored indeed.’ Then I said, ‘Let us go to my parent’s house, O Bree. I am taking you home to Mom and Dad. Let us head north to De Pere.’ And I rode Bree down Highway 41 north. So many other riders and their animals were going down the highway.
But I was the lucky one with a beautiful new she-unicorn as my animal. I had a new life ahead of me.
And yes, that cashier was right. My Bree and I soon bonded with a chemistry. She understood me in my subtle nuances, and I understood her in her unicorn ways. And yes, when the cashier told me how well-behaved that this unicorn was at the zoo garden, she was telling the truth. In all of my years with Bree here, she has never once disobeyed me.”
Here now at the East Cabin, the four here by the sand dunes sharing this nostalgia together, Proffery said, “Look at Bree. She’s beaming in pride. She knows that you’re talking about her. And she knows that you’re saying good things about her.”
“Indeed she knows every word that I am saying,” said Flanders. “She remembers our first day together, as well.”
“Zephyr understands me when I talk people language, also,” said Proffery. “How good it would be for me, though, if Zephyr could speak back to me in people language, too.”
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“You two share an uncanny chemistry among masters and pets also, Brother,” said Flanders.
“We communicate,” said Proffery, “Zephyr and I.”
“God had found for you the right griffin at the zoo garden,” said Flanders.
“I remember how the Holy Spirit had told me, ‘My son, the first griffin that comes along, that is the one for you,’” said Proffery.
“I know you, Brother. I bet that you wanted to see them all, before you went and picked one,” said Flanders.
“It was either my way or God’s way. I was imperfect, and He was perfect. Who was I going to believe?” asked Proffery.
“You obeyed God,” said Flanders.
“Passing through the hybrid section, I saw the region for winged horses and the region for centaurs and the region for golden hinds and the region for chimeras, and of course the region for griffins,” said Proffery.
“You did not pick any pet yet at that time,” said Flanders.
“None of them came up to me yet in this part of the zoo garden,” said Proffery. “The first one to come up to me was the one I must adopt. In fact, the first griffin, that is.”
“You then passed through the region of griffins,” said Flanders. “What did you see then?”
“I saw a demesne for brown griffins, and a demesne for black griffins and a demesne for speckled and spotted griffins and a demesne for gray griffins and a demesne for tawny griffins,” said Proffery.
“Did any of them where you were standing come up to you?” asked Flanders.
“None,” said Proffery. “But I was kind of praying for a tawny griffin to come up to me.”
“Were you tempting God by doing that?” asked Flanders.
“Maybe,” said Proffery. “A Christian man ought not to tempt the Lord his God. Remember
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Balaam.”
“Balaam, the prophet who asked God what God wanted him to do, then, later, for personal gain, went and asked God the same thing again, hoping that this second time that God would change His mind,” said Flanders the story of Numbers chapter twenty-two. “He almost got a sword in his belly
for doing that.”
“God had told me to pick the first one who came up to me, and I wanted to tell God, ‘It has to be a tawny one.’” said Proffery. “My pet griffin was to be God’s choosing and not my choosing.”
“You saw the gate with the sign that said ‘tawny griffin demesne.’ There were other signs that read other colored griffins for their demesnes.” said Flanders. “What did you do when you were standing in front of the gate of the tawny griffins right in front of you?”
“I came and stood in the middle of the griffin region right in the middle of where all the gates of the demesnes were, making myself the same distance from all of the demesne signs. I may have feared a non-tawny griffin to come up to me here outside of the demesne gates. But I was more afraid of disappointing God by going first into the tawny griffin demesne in my own will,” said Proffery.
“And afraid of provoking God,” said Flanders.
“Yeah. When a Christian provokes the Devil, he has God still protecting him. But when a Christian provokes God, what can the Devil do to stay God’s chastening hand?” said Proffery.
“You stood there long, just outside all the gates of the demesnes. Didn’t you?” asked Flanders.
“I did. And none came up to me,” said Proffery. “Then I said to God, ‘Lord, I give it all to You.
Bring your griffin to me. I will accept the one that you want for me.’”
“And I know what happened,” said Flanders.
“You heard me tell it many times since, Brother,” said Proffery.
“A beautiful tawny she-griffin came flying up to you from her demesne,” said Flanders.
“I asked, ‘O tawny griffin, could I become your master?’” said Proffery. “She then bade me to
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follow her into her demesne of her tawny kind. And that I did.”
“That’s when things began to get exciting,” said Flanders.
“I followed her into her demesne that was her home. And suddenly all kinds of tawny griffins came up to me, all pretty she-griffins and all handsome he-griffins. They were all so noble and gallant, that I wanted them all as my pets. They began to compete for my attention. They began to contend for my attention. Then they began to combat for my attention,” said Proffery.
“You had a whole zoo garden of tawny griffins fighting over you, Brother,” said Flanders.
“And I had not done anything wrong,” said Proffery. “Except that now I was tempted to make a new choice for pet now that they were all here and looking just as alluring as my one who had come up to me where I was praying outside the demesne gate.”
“Zoo garden keepers say that griffins are the least domesticated among all the animals of zoo gardens,” said Flanders.
“The she-griffins are just as wild as are the he-griffins,” said Proffery. “But I noticed something about the first of my suitors, that she-griffin that God had sent my way. I noticed that she was the only one who was not in the fray. Nay, O Brother Flanders. I saw her standing underneath the gate that led outward. She was waiting for me to come to her. And she had a godliness about her that made her look
more desirable a life partner to a master than all of the other griffins could. The average griffin was bellicose. This she-griffin was tame when it was time to be tame. She would fight only when the Good Lord would tell her to.”
“And you ran away with her,” said Flanders.
“I ran away from the untamed griffins and did run up to the gentle griffin,” said Proffery.
“But how come she had enticed you into her demesne with all of those other tawny griffins?” asked Flanders.
“She had not enticed me. She welcomed me,” said Proffery. “But then that skirmish suddenly
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erupted, and I ran out of there. Then I hopped onto her back, and she gave me a flight up to the checkout stands.
And the cashier took one look at me sitting upon my new griffin pet, my she-griffin having lighted before the checkout lane, and she said, ‘You are not the same fellow who came up here riding a unicorn before he even paid for her. Are you?’”
“Ah,” said Flanders here at the East Cabin, “the very same cashier that I had.”
“For a clever joke I told her, ‘No, Miss. I am the fellow coming up here riding a griffin before I have gotten around to paying for her.’” said Proffery. “She laughed delightfully out loud. I did, too. Then I paid the sum, and my new she-griffin pet gave me a ride home on her back to Mom and Dad’s.”
Then he said, “And when I came home, all the family came up to her and admired her and petted her and said sweet things to her. And she loved them all back as they did her. And she loved me most of all. Then Dad said, ‘What is her name, Son?’
And I suddenly realized that I had not yet given her a name. I asked her, ‘What is your name, girl?’ And she looked up toward Heaven with her eyes, then looked back down to me. I was supposed to ask God. So I looked upward and prayed, ‘I thank You, God, for having allowed me to become this wonderful griffin’s new master. But I know not what name to give her. What name would You wish for me to call her by?’ And a gentle breeze suddenly came up upon us from the west. I guessed, ‘Is your name “West,” girl?’ She shook her aquiline head. I guessed, ‘Is it “Westward,” girl?’ She shook her eagle head again. I then guessed, ‘Is it “Westwind,” girl?’ And she shook her head a third time. Then I said, ‘Then your name has to be “Zephyr.”’ And she nodded her head affirmatively. So her name became, ‘Zephyr.’ That is how Zephyr and I became pet and master,” said Proffery Coins.
“Glory to God!” said Flanders.
“And lots of thanks as well,” said Proffery.
Suddenly a shadow of a great flying beast lighted upon the roof of the East Cabin not far from
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this tranquil place of fellowship. All four looked and did behold a Gargantua of griffins standing there upon Flanders’s one-room log cabin.
Behold, the Baleful Griffin!
Instantly the four Christian warriors prepared for battle. Flanders drew his saber. Proffery loaded his bolt into his crossbow. Bree stamped her fore hooves upon the ground and brandished her unicorn horn. And Zephyr hissed and flew up five feet in the air and hovered and awaited her master’s commands.
Though outnumbered four to one, the Baleful Griffin said, “Masters and pets of Christ, the time for our battle is not this day. Nor will our battle be here by the sand dunes. Our battle will be at Second Advent Baptist Church in my time.”
“Demon of Wisconsin, would you like a crossbow bolt in your belly with your smart words to us this moment?” asked Proffery Coins in battle words.
“Crossbow fellow,” said the Baleful Griffin, “I have not yet said the words for which I have come here to say to you.”
“Griffin demon, say your words to us now,” said Flanders.
And the Baleful Griffin said his message to them of this visit, “Yet fifty days, and your good little Baptist church will be no more at all.”
“I am in the spirit to climb up there and cut off your proud head off of your shoulders with my sword, O griffin from Hell,” said Flanders.
“Don’ t worry about climbing up here onto your cabin roof, swordsman of Christ. I shall take care of your roof easily enough,” said the Demon of Wisconsin.
Proffery aimed his crossbow at this colossus of griffin’s belly. The crossbow man was about to command his griffin to attack. Flanders began to walk toward his cabin upon which the demon was standing. And Bree was at her master’s side, marching toward the Baleful Griffin up there.
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Then in an action to explain what he had meant about Flanders not to worry about his cabin roof, the Baleful Griffin began to assault this roof with his beak and with his talons and with his paws.
Behold, in one short while the whole cabin roof fell down to the ground inside and outside of the little cabin. The four soldiers for Christ were at first dumbfounded. And they hesitated to battle. And then the Baleful Griffin said, “As I did little to the East Cabin, so shall I do much to the Baptist church.”
And having said this, the Demon of Wisconsin flew off. It was then that Proffery fired his crossbow.
But the griffin demon was now some distance away, and Proffery had a clean miss. The pet griffin had not had her chance for her master to tell her to attack. Flanders stood there in shock, his sword useless for now. And Bree walked around surveying the pieces of shingles and nails and wooden boards that had just a little while ago given his master shelter in the elements.
“He got away,” lamented Flanders.
“I hesitated, too, Brother,” said Proffery.
“My cabin! My cabin!” called forth Flanders.
“We can rebuilt it, Brother,” said Proffery.
“I can do that,” said Flanders with resolve. “I and Bree can do that.”
“We can help,” said Proffery. “I and Zephyr.”
“Thank you, Brother,” said Flanders.
“Brother,” said Proffery.
“Yes?” asked Flanders.
“We four must train harder for battle than ever we did before if we want to defeat this demon and the other demon,” said Proffery.
“I understand,” said Flanders. “We must practice harder.”
“This day was a skirmish. That day to come will be two wars,” said Proffery.
“Two wars,” said Flanders Nickels. “Fifty days from today.” The two nodded solemnly.
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CHAPTER XIII
The four were riding Zephyr’s back on a long flight to Madison, Wisconsin. “Are we almost there?” asked Miss Fables the younger.
“I think that we’re getting there,” said Gretchen Fables.
“Destination, Dane County Arena,” said Flanders.
“Our girlfriends’ first title defense as A.W.A.’s tag team champions, Flanders,” said Proffery.
“I can’t wait,” said Flanders.
“Women, will you win today?” asked Proffery.
“We shall find out,” said Destiny in wiles.
“Oh yeah, a woman all-star wrestler cannot give away her secrets,” said Flanders.
“As people say on TV, ‘I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it might incriminate me,’” said Proffery.
“Shall we tell our guys one little secret, Big Sister?” asked Destiny.
“I know which one you mean,” said Gretchen. “Yes. Tell it.”
And Miss Fables the younger made a disclosure, “There will be a little bit of cheating.”
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“Well…duh,” said Flanders.
“This is all-star wrestling,” said Proffery. “You women have wrestled cheaters before.”
“Oh, but guys, we will be the cheaters this time,” said Gretchen. “Kind of.”
“Cheaters? Both of you?” asked Flanders. The girls nodded. “Brother, we are in for some good times with tonight’s title bout,” said Flanders.
“The Fables Twins cheating,” said Proffery. “What has come to all-star wrestling?”
“The powers that be,” said Gretchen.
“Our bosses,” said Destiny.
The cheerleader and the pom and dance girl were going to put on a good show today for their boyfriends and for their fans at the Dane County Arena.
“The management will still let you two be the good guys. I hope,” said Proffery.
“Oh. Of course,” said Destiny. “Our opponents come from Russia.”
“The Russians…always the bad guys in professional wrestling,” said Proffery.
“Are there any more secrets for which you two have to tell to your two most adoring fans?” asked Flanders.
“Uh uh,” said the Fables twins.
“You two will say no more about today’s bout,” said Flanders.
“Uh huh,” said the two young women.
“We will have to wait to find out together if our women are still the tag team champions after it all gets done, Brother,” said Proffery.
“We and all the rest of America,” said Flanders.
“You guys are lucky that you don’t wear skirts,” said Destiny, as the four were in the air riding the griffin.
“Where did that come from?” asked Flanders.
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“Yeah,” said Gretchen. “I feel cool air blowing right into myself right up my legs.”
“I don’t,” said Flanders.
“Nor do I,” said Proffery.
“You guys are lucky that you get to wear pants,” said Destiny.
“I never thought to hear you say something negative about your outfit, girlfriend,” said Proffery. “You love your skirt almost as much as you love Donner.”
“I do. Oh, I do,” said Destiny. “But there are at times certain disadvantages for a girl who wears skirts.”
“Like the wind going up your…self,” said Proffery discreetly.
“Pleats are not good for long trips through the skies,” said Gretchen with a laugh.
Flanders then pointed down to the ground below and said, “I believe that that is it, guys.”
“Are we really there?” asked Gretchen.
“Yep. That is the Dane County Arena,” said Flanders.
“Good Zephyr,” commanded Proffery her master, “would you let us down now?”
And the good griffin spread out her eagle’s wings and did begin to glide downward in a gentle spiraling. And she lighted, and her four riders dismounted her.
“This arena looks even bigger than the last arena that we went to to see our women wrestle,” said Proffery.
“Madison is twice as big as Green Bay,” said Flanders.
Proffery said to Zephyr, “Stay here and wait for us, girl. We will be back in a couple of hours. Hold down the fort.”
Other fans and their animals were also coming to this arena and settling in this parking lot.
And many were going in. Likewise now did the four from up north. Proffery had promised his griffin a whole ham for dinner for his labors of flight, and Zephyr was thinking about this right now.
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“Ladies and gentlemen,” began the ring announcer. “welcome to women’s all-star wrestling.”
He then continued, “The feature bout this afternoon is a title fight for the A.W.A. women’s tag team championship. In this corner, wearing green and gold and white, weighing one hundred twenty-five pounds each…ladies and gentlemen, you know them…Gretchen and Destiny Fables—the Fables twins—the reigning world’s women’s tag team champions of professional wrestling.” And the big crowd went wild with great applause and everyone clapping. Into the ring, doing a cartwheel, went the pom and dance girl. And into the ring, doing a flip into the air, went the cheerleader. Both young ladies stuck their landings with the experience of their apparel’s customary athletes. After this, they then put on their title belts. And the whole crowd was happy with great cheer.
Then the ring announcer said, “And in this corner, wearing the yellow hammer and yellow sickle on a red background, weighing two hundred fifty pounds each, hailing from Russia, are the number one contenders, Miss Hera, ‘the Greek Goddess,’ and Miss Juno, ‘the Roman Goddess.’” And the Russian women stepped into the ring. And the whole arena went quiet with awe and with opposition.
Flanders said, “Proffery, their combined weight is five hundred pounds.”
“One of them is two of ours,” said Proffery.
“Our girlfriends are going to get hurt,” said Flanders.
“This is wrestling,” Proffery reminded him of this sport’s entertainment purposes.
It was not real.
The Fables Twins were now holding their tag-team championship belts up in the air above their heads in both hands. And in front of their fans in the building and seen by their fans on TV, they went to ringside and gave their tag-team belts to Flanders and to Proffery to hold onto and to take care of.
The boyfriends were surprised. Neither had expected so good a fortune as this. At first they did not know what to do. But Flanders reached out and took his girlfriend’s belt and thanked her. And then
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Proffery did the same. And the girlfriends went back into the ring as the Fables Twins, ready to defend their title for their first time.
And the bell rang. The pom pom girl was alone in the ring against Miss Juno. Right away Miss Juno proffered her powerful right arm, at a ninety-degree angle upward at the elbow, before Gretchen.
All who knew about women’s wrestling knew that Miss Juno was challenging Gretchen Fables in a test of strength. And the smaller woman accepted the challenge with both of her arms. Such as this was always the way it was in Miss Juno’s matches—her one arm against her opponent’s two arms. And the two wrestlers stood in the middle of the ring as Gretchen attempted to push back Miss Juno’s one arm.
They stood there toe to toe in exertion. At first the pom pom girl held her own. But after a while the big Russian woman began to prevail. And before the big audience, Miss Juno began to push back far Gretchen Fables’ arms. The bad guy was winning this first battle of today’s bout. And the muscular woman beat the American woman in this test of strength. And Gretchen’s arms went down to her sides in apparent “pain.” She quickly ran to tag off to her partner. And Miss Juno, not the worse for this challenge just now, walked over and tagged off to her tag team partner.
And now Miss Hera and the cheerleader Destiny were alone in the ring against each other. The younger Fables twin leaped and performed a flying drop kick into Miss Hera’s abdomen. The big and strong Russian lady fell back a couple of steps, but remained upon her feet. Destiny did it again, but this time Miss Hera swiped at her feet in midair, and the cheerleader fell most ungainly upon her bottom upon the canvas. Then Miss Hera picked up Destiny, held her horizontally upon her own shoulders and spun around several times in place, and dropped her down roughly upon the canvas. Any other woman, having this been done to them by Miss Hera, would have sat there dizzy and overcome. But cheerleaders like Destiny did not get dizzy. Not “hurt” yet so far, Destiny jumped back to her feet. Miss Hera advanced. Destiny retreated. From ringside Gretchen reached out her arm for a tag. They tagged off.
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And now Gretchen took on Miss Hera one on one. Miss Hera threw a mighty right forearm smash toward the pom pom girl’s head. But pom pom girls are agile. And Gretchen Fables ducked below the big arm, and Miss Hera missed. Then Miss Hera threw a powerful left forearm toward the other side of Gretchen’s head. But Gretchen ducked out of the way of this one, as well. Another miss for Miss Hera. Then Gretchen threw a left forearm smash toward Miss Hera’s head, and she connected.
Miss Hera was slow in the ring, but she was still strong. And the blow did not faze her. Gretchen threw another forearm smash to the head of Miss Hera, a right this time, and she connected again. But Miss Hera was not fazed by this blow, either. Then Gretchen put her own two arms underneath Miss Hera to lift her up and to body slam her. But she could not lift her up off of the canvas. Then, with her left arm, Miss Hera grabbed Gretchen underneath herself, lifted her up over her head, and body slammed the pom and dance girl hard upon the canvas with one arm. Then the big Russian lady was about to slam her boot upon the supine pom pom girl. But Gretchen rallied and rolled over where she lay, and Miss Hera missed. Gretchen raced on her hands and knees to her corner, and tagged off. In came Destiny, who was still fresh for a fight, and she came into the ring with vengeance. Miss Hera backpedaled back to her corner and did tag off.
And now Miss Juno and the cheerleader were alone in the ring. And Destiny Fables circled around her in search for an advantage over the bigger and stronger gal. Where Destiny circled, Miss Juno circled. And Miss Juno kept her front side facing Destiny. Destiny was apparently trying to get to Miss Juno’s backside, but her opponent would not let her get there. This went on for a minute or so.
And the arena was puzzled. Flanders and Proffery were not puzzled. Nor was Miss Juno.
Proffery said to Flanders, “She’s trying to set her up for a sleeper hold, Brother,”
“Miss Juno can tell,” said Flanders.
Both of the Fables twins were famous for applying to their opponents “the Fables Twins’ Sleeper,” in finishing off their foes. And this sleeper hold was applied from the back side and not from
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the front side.
Another minute went by of this maneuvering and this footwork. Then Miss Hera from her corner called out, “What are you waiting for, Juno!?”
Could it be that Miss Hera did not know?
Miss Juno turned to Miss Hera and tried to explain it to her. And in so doing, her back was turned to Destiny Fables. And the cheerleader wasted no time in going for the kill, and she leaped and landed upon Miss Juno’s back. And she wrapped both of her bare cheerleader arms around Miss Juno’s stout neck in a vise lock that could not be broken. Miss Juno gasped in dismay. And the crowd cheered, “Sleeper! Sleeper! Sleeper!” Miss Juno indeed felt her air completely cut off. Destiny had her legs wrapped around Miss Juno’s midsection almost as tightly as she had her arms wrapped around Miss Juno’s neck.
“No lady wrestler ever got herself out of my cheerleader’s sleeper hold,” bragged Proffery upon his girlfriend.
“That’s all she wrote,” said Flanders.
Behold, mighty Miss Juno marched right up to her corner, carrying the cheerleader and her sleeper hold with her up to Miss Hera, and she tagged off. In came Miss Hera. Of the tag team contenders now, Miss Hera was the legal woman in the ring. Miss Juno must by the rules step out of the ring for now. But Destiny Fables would not surrender her sleeper hold. Destiny was hindering Miss Juno from leaving the ring. So, what did Miss Juno do? She stepped out of the ring and got down to the arena floor and stood there. Destiny was supposed to be the legal woman in the ring of the tag team champions. Gretchen could not come into the ring. And, because Destiny was outside of the ring, the referee began to count to thirty for her to get back into the ring. And Miss Hera, understanding the situation simply waited, herself standing in the ring. If Destiny did not come back into the ring or did not tag off to her partner by the time the referee counted to thirty, the Fables twins would be
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officially disqualified, and they would lose their title belts to the Russian tag team. The Russian team did not cheat. The Fables Twins were known for clean wrestling. And Flanders and Proffery knew all of this from their love for women’s all-star wrestling.
“Is your girlfriend cheating, Proffery?” asked Flanders.
“If she is, she is only hurting herself,” said Proffery.
“Both of the girls did say something on our flight here about a real cheat going on in the ring this time, you remember,” said Flanders.
“If our girlfriends were inclined to give any hint at all about their upcoming fight, it would be something much more action-packed than something like this,” said Proffery.
“Yeah. You’re right. If the Fables Twins say that they are going to cheat, it would have to be a truly grand cheating that would bring down the house,” said Flanders.
“Look, Miss Juno is taking my cheerleader’s arms away from around her neck!” exclaimed Proffery Coins. “I cannot believe what I am seeing!”
“I have never seen such a show of strength before in any lady of the A.W.A., Brother,” said Flanders.
“Rats!” called out Proffery in consternation.
The referee was still counting, “Twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight,…”
Like a shot, Destiny, holding her arms tight against her sides, raced back up to ringside, heard the referee say, “Twenty-nine,” and did leap into the ring in the nick of time.
“Her arms hurt,” said Proffery.
Once in back in the ring, the cheerleader got blindsided by a big boot in the face from Miss Hera. And she crashed hard upon her back. And she lay there all spread out and not moving. In fact her eyes were shut in apparent unconsciousness. “Need it say it now, Brother?” asked Flanders.
“Yes. Say it,” said Proffery, feeling the end of the match now imminent.
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“That’s all she wrote,” said Flanders.
Then, to add insult to injury, Miss Hera bounced her powerful and large body against the ropes, was rebounded back to the center of the ring, and did leap and land upon the supine cheerleader like an avalanche. Lying on top of Destiny Fables, Miss Hera pinned her shoulders to the canvas and lifted her leg and waited for the referee to count out the tag team ladies’ champion.
The referee slapped the canvas once and said, “One.”
Just then Gretchen sneaked down from her corner and crawled up to the side of the ring and lifted a tarp that stretched from the ring floor down to the arena floor.
“Look, Brother,” said Proffery. “Your Gretchen is looking down underneath the ring.”
Flanders looked and saw it, too. “What’s she doing that for?” he asked.
The referee then slapped the canvas floor a second time and said, “Two.”
Behold, a phalanx of young cheerleaders and young pom pom girls suddenly came out from underneath the ring apron. And they quickly leaped into the ring where Destiny was just about to get pinned. Three of the women were pom and dance girls dressed just like Gretchen, and the other three women were cheerleader girls dressed just like Destiny. And this army of six quickly all fell upon Miss Hera where she sat on top of Destiny.
The referee slapped the canvas the third time and was just about to say, “Three.” But the three strange women managed to roll Miss Hera off of Destiny Fables just in time. Destiny lifted up one of her shoulders where she lay. The referee had not said, “Three.” And the cheerleader wrestler had escaped a pin.
In an indignant rage, in came storming Miss Juno to wreak havoc upon the unexpected helpers of the champions. Her tag team partner, even more infuriated, also began to wreak havoc upon these six interlopers. And the six helpers rallied together and fought back tooth and nail against the big Russians. And the tag team champions fought for and with their helpers. And the referee tried to
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bring order back into the ring, but one of the Russian wrestlers or maybe both of the Russian wrestlers threw him quite out of the ring, and he got hurt. The announcer called forth, “Security! Security!” And the big Russians threw quite out of the ring one at a time each of all six of the pom and dance girls and the cheerleaders who had sneaked into the ring from underneath the ring. These six cheaters were injured when they got thrown out of the ring, and they could not come back. And then the tag team champions got to the backsides of the tag team challengers, one on one, and they put their patented sleeper holds upon the powerful lady wrestlers. Again Destiny had her sleeper hold upon Miss Juno. And Gretchen had her sleeper hold upon Miss Hera. Miss Juno, already winded from Destiny’s previous failed sleeper, was now weaker this second time around than she was that first time around. Miss Hera was still strong and of much breath, having not endured a sleeper hold in this match until now by Gretchen. Miss Juno slowly fell to her knees. Miss Hera was still on her feet. Miss Juno fell to her bottom. Miss Hera fell to her knees. Miss Juno fell to her side. Miss Hera fell to her bottom. Miss Juno was almost out. Miss Hera fell to her side.
“My, my, Brother. Our girls are going to win this match,” said Flanders.
“When they told us of this mysterious first cheating that they had ever done in all-star wrestling, I never knew that it would be all of this,” said Proffery.
“But there is no referee to count either of the two Russians out,” said Flanders.
Then along came security. “Here they come, Brother, better late than never,” said Proffery.
“I think that the announcer got banged up, too,” said Flanders. “I heard nothing from him since he called for security to come.”
And along with the security, in came the chairman and president of the American Wrestling Association, all-star-wrestling’s highest authority. The security came in and managed to take apart the two pairs of women. These guards had to overcome the scientific power of the Fables Twins’ sleeper hold upon the two muscular Russian girls. Once their work was finished, the guards stepped back.
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And the final authority, in his suit and tie, addressed the crowd here at Dane County Arena: “People of Madison and Wisconsin and throughout the world: I have never seen so egregious a violation of the rules of A.W.A ladies’ wrestling before. I am shocked at what I have seen today. It is in my power to indefinitely suspend the Fables Twins from professional wrestling for what they have done this day. I choose not to do that at this time.”
Flanders whispered to Proffery, “What did they do? It’s all acting.”
The final authority went on to say, “It is also in my power to declare this tag team title match to be a forfeiture, in which case Miss Juno and Miss Hera would be declared the winners of this match; and the Fables Twins, the losers of this match.”
Proffery whispered to Flanders. “It’s all rigged. They told our girlfriends to do this. It’s professional wrestling.”
“Finally, good people of this arena and watching on TV, a technicality has occurred regarding the count-out of Destiny Fables at the hands of Miss Hera,” continued the head man. “By the rules of the A.W.A, a wrestler is officially counted out when her shoulders are flat on the canvas to the count of three. The referee had slapped the canvas three times, but did not speak the count of ‘three’ on that third slap. According to the rule book, a referee’s slap counts for a spoken count whether or not he had actually said the count out loud. Destiny Fables was officially counted out at that time. By this therefore I declare the tag team of Gretchen and Destiny Fables the loser of this title fight; and I declare the tag team of Miss Juno and Miss Hera the winners of this title fight.”
The Dane County Arena erupted into stentorian boos and catcalls at the final authority speaking to them now. He then said, “Security, would you bring the tag team ladies’ wrestling championship belts up to the ring, if you would?”
They came down to where Flanders and Proffery were sitting, these belts of their wrestling girlfriends on their laps. Flanders said to Proffery, “Rats!”
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And Proffery said to Flanders, “Nuts!”
And they gave security the tag team women’s championship wrestling belts, and the security gave them to the man in the suit and tie, and the man in the suit and tie gave them to the Russian women, who were aware now and standing, and the Russian woman put them around their waists.
Proffery said, “It was quite the show, though, anyway. Wasn’t it, Brother?”
“I did enjoy it, too,” said Flanders. And the men were glad again in the Lord.
The two women came right down to them now in the first row of seats. Confident and rightfully so, Gretchen asked, “Did you guys have fun seeing us girls do our thing up there?”
Knowing her boyfriend as well, Destiny asked, “Did you guys have as much fun seeing the match as we gals did wrestling the match?”
Flanders said, “I was disappointed that you girls lost. For sure. But for even more sure, I had a great time and a great seat from which to see it all happen.”
And Proffery said, “I do still wish that you women were still the tag team champions. But this was still the best show you two ever did.”
Flanders asked, “Where did you get the other six women?”
“The ones who were waiting underneath the ring,” said Proffery.
Gretchen looked at Destiny, and Destiny looked at Gretchen. And the two women said to the two men, “We cannot give away company secrets.”
“Secrets of the trade, Brother,” said Proffery.
“More like tricks of the trade,” said Flanders.
All four laughed. Then they went back outside to greet good and faithful Zephyr awaiting them. And they mounted the she-griffin. And Proffery said, “Would you take us back home, good girl?”
And the good and loyal griffin lifted up into the skies, and they began their long journey north back to the sand dunes of Beaver. And good Zephyr got a ham for dinner.
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CHAPTER XIV
The Christian group of four were again at Second Advent Baptist Church for Sunday Evening Worship to hear Pastor preach. He was still on his theme of eschatology regarding the judgments upon the tribulation world to come. Pastor began his sermon, “Tonight, good folks, I shall be sharing with you the seven vial judgments. They are told in Revelation chapter sixteen. Some Bible scholars also call these the ‘seven bowl judgments.’ Turn with me, if you would, to Revelation 16:1, and let us read this together out loud.” The pastor and his flock read out loud this first verse about the vial judgments,
“And I heard a great voice out of the temple saying to the seven angels, Go your ways, and pour out the vials of the wrath of God upon the earth.” Then Pastor went on to say, “As it is the Lamb of God who
opens the seven seals to judge the world with the seal judgments, and as it is the angels who blow the seven trumpets to judge the world with the trumpet judgments, so it is now that the angels pour out the seven vials upon the world with the vial judgments.”
Then Pastor Canon went on to preach, “In the first vial judgment thereby, God smites all of the world’s unsaved people of this tribulation with boils. The Bible says about these boils that they are ‘a
noisome and grievous sore.’ What does ‘noisome’ mean? It means ‘putrid, malodorous, stinky.’
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A sewer leak is a most foul among noisome smells. And what does ‘grievous’ mean? That, as you can tell means, ‘causing grief.’ Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary defines ‘grievous’ as ‘causing or characterized by severe pain, suffering, or sorrow.’ These boils will both smell bad and hurt bad. They will ooze and fester and look hideous and make one sick just to look at. And they will be throughout the bodies of all the lost people of the Earth from the top of their heads to the tips of their toes. This, the first vial, will judge all who have worshipped antichrist.”
Then Pastor Canon continued tonight’s sermon, “Then the second angel pours out his vial. He pours this vial into the sea. Lo, all of the seas become all blood! That means that all of the world’s salt water becomes red blood. As the Bible puts it, ‘it became as the blood of a dead man.’ God had done the same thing to the Nile River in Egypt in the first plague of the ten plagues upon Pharaoh back in the days of Moses and Aaron. If God could turn a whole river into blood, can he not also turn all of the oceans into blood? People in sunny California will not be able to enjoy the beaches of America’s west coast and go out for a swim in the Pacific Ocean. People in Maine will not be able to make a living with lobster-catching in America’s east coast and trap lobsters in the Atlantic Ocean. The lobsters will be dead. Europe, the Revived Roman Empire during this tribulation, will not be able to sail a fleet of ships in the Mediterranean Sea, as the original Roman Empire did two thousand years ago. The warm equatorial waters of the Indian Ocean over in the eastern hemisphere will no longer have marine life. All of the fish will be dead in the blood. And even the cold waters of the Antarctic Ocean will be frozen over with blood. Even the ice will be bloody red. And all of the life of all of the seas—originally created by our Maker on the fifth day of creation (that is, the fish and all life that swims in the waters) will die and become extinct. But, O good flock, there is more yet to this second vial judgment. Also, all of the sailors and all other people out on the oceans in ships and boats will also die.”
Pastor continued, “Then the third angle pours out his vial. This third vial is poured out into
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Earth’s fresh waters this time. That means all of all the lakes and the ponds and the rivers and the bays and the creeks and the channels. And here again, the waters are turned into blood. These fresh waters are drinking waters. And these drinking waters will now be blood. When a man will turn on his kitchen sink faucet to fill a glass of water, blood will come out of the faucet and fill up his cup. He can’t drink this! When a man will go and take a bath or a shower, and he turns on the tub faucet or the shower nozzle, behold, blood comes out into the tub! The same will happen when he attempts to wash his hair or do the dishes or do the laundry or water the lawn or even flush the toilet. What will God say about such people left behind whom He judges with this third vial judgment? He will say in the words of the angel of the waters, ‘For they have shed the blood of saints and prophets, and thou hast given them blood to drink; for they are worthy.’ Revelation 16:6.”
Pastor Canon then continued onto the next vial judgment, “Next, the fourth angel pours out the fourth vial upon mankind. This vial gets poured out upon the sun itself. Behold, men are scorched with fire. All of the world of Earth now gets extremely too hot to live. Either the sun gets much hotter in its place in the solar system, or maybe the sun gets much closer to Earth. I read that the average surface temperature of our sun is 18,000 degrees Fahrenheit. God will make the sun hotter than 18,000 degrees Fahrenheit. And we all know that God made our sun 93,000,000 miles away from our planet Earth. God will move the sun closer than 93,000,000 miles away from our Earth. One hundred degree Fahrenheit days will no longer be an exception to the world’s inhabitants. I was here in Wisconsin in the summer of 1988. That was the summer when we Wisconsinites had thirty days that were ninety degrees or hotter. It will be ninety degrees or higher for us Wisconsinites summer and fall and winter and spring in this fourth vial judgment. I saw two different summer days in Wisconsin, one one year and the other another year, where the thermometer reached 103 degrees. That is the hottest that I ever saw Wisconsin get. It could be the coolest that Wisconsin will ever get in the fourth vial judgment.
And how will those who live in hot climates endure when God smites the sun as He will? But will
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men repent? Will men turn to God? Will men seek salvation? Nay. The Bible says, ‘And [men] blasphemed the name of God, which hath power over these plagues: And they repented not to give him glory.’ Behold the hardness of the human heart.”
The wise pastor then continued his preaching to his little Baptist flock, “Then the fifth angel pours out the fifth vial from God. This vial gets poured out upon the throne of antichrist—the dictator of the tribulation Earth. And this emperor’s empire becomes dark. Light is taken away from the antichrist’s kingdom. Does God turn the whole world into this darkness? The Bible does not say.
God had done the same kind of thing to Pharaoh and to his Egypt in the ninth plague of the ten plagues back when Moses contended against Pharaoh King of Egypt. That darkness was so black that it could be felt. And God made it last for three days. Did Pharaoh repent? Nay, he hardened his heart once again against God. What will it be like in antichrist’s empire when this fifth vial judgment strikes mankind in the tribulation with this blackness? Think upon the black darkness that all in Hell have to see everywhere that they try to look. Think upon the damned in Hell who say, ‘Does anybody have a light? I am sick and tired of this darkness.’ Think upon being struck blind for the rest of your life in these worst seven years of Earth in this tribulation and then for eternity after in Hell. And regard those smitten with this pitch darkness in the world as those who know that they are doomed. Will mankind repent this time? No, they still will not choose to repent. And, yes, they will all go on to blaspheme the God of Heaven instead. Once again, behold the hardness of the human heart.”
Pastor then went on to preach more eschatology of the end times. He said, “Then the sixth angel pours out his vial into the Euphrates River. The Euphrates River is considered the place of the origin of the human race. It is one of the four original rivers mentioned in the creation story of Genesis chapter two in the description of the Garden of Eden. And it was a region of many world empires in Old Testament Bible times. But when the angel pours out this sixth vial of God’s judgment into the Euphrates River, the most ancient river dries up. That will allow a two hundred-million-man Chinese
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army of armies to easily cross over the Euphrates River and to march in upon Israel from the east. Russia will also invade Israel from the north. And the Arab nations will attack Israel from the south. But Israel’s God will fight for Israel from Heaven. Also when the sixth angel pours his vial into the Euphrates River, ‘three unclean spirits like frogs,’ come out of the mouth of the dragon and of the beast and of the false prophet. This dragon and this beast and this false prophet are the unholy trinity of Satan and antichrist and false prophet. These demons like frogs go out throughout the world and do prepare for the battle of Armageddon that will befall mankind. All of us and most of the unsaved have heard of Armageddon. The lost equate Armageddon as ‘the end of the world.’ We saved know that it is
mankind’s last battle against God in the fallen world. This final battle of the sin-cursed world will basically be God’s chosen nation Israel against all the rest of the world. And God will win this battle for His chosen people the Israelites. ‘Armageddon,’ by definition, means, ‘mountain of Megiddo.’
Where is Megiddo on the map? Megiddo is a city located in the old Israel of its twelve tribes in the land of the tribe of West Manasseh. It lies at West Manasseh’s north-central border just south and in-between the southern borders of the lands of the tribes of Zebulun and Issachar. The River Kishon runs just north of it. And it lies just twenty miles east of the Mediterranean Sea. This battle of Armageddon will consummate this seven-year tribulation. And when the last soldier is killed in Armageddon, a lake of blood slain in battle will be filled in Megiddo. After that, Jesus comes in His great and glorious Second Coming.”
Pastor Canon then went on to preach, “Then comes the seventh vial judgment, God’s last judgment of the twenty-one judgments of this tribulation. This seventh angel pours out this seventh vial out into the air. And when this angel does this, Jesus, upon His throne, says to Heaven, ‘It is done.’
And, behold, an earthquake quakes the earth with an unprecedented number on the Richter scale. This will be the second ‘earthquake of earthquakes’ of this tribulation, and it will be worse than the first one.
The Bible says of this one that ‘every island fled away, and the mountains were not found.’ That means
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that all of our world’s islands get buried in water and that all of our world’s mountains get knocked down to level ground. Our planet that does revolve and rotate in space will be quaked globally. One could say that this earthquake will be ‘the big one.’ I can see California being broken off of America and sliding off into the Pacific Ocean. And one more thing about this seventh vial judgment—one hundred pound hail will fall in great and terrible hailstorms. It is written in Revelation 16:21, ‘And there fell upon men a great hail out of heaven, every stone about the weight of a talent: and men blasphemed God because of the plague of the hail; for the plague thereof was exceeding great.’ What is the weight of a talent? A talent is one hundred pounds. This is not just pea-sized hail. This is hardly quarter-sized hail. This is far worse than golf-ball sized hail. This is much bigger than baseball-sized hail. Even softball-sized hail has nothing on this. Can even a basketball-sized hail measure up to this hail? God’s wrath upon His Christ-rejecting world has come to a fitting finale. And still does mankind and womankind and child-kind refuse to humble themselves and repent and seek Christ.”
Pastor’s message of this evening’s service all about the vial judgments was done now. He went on to again remind his born-again little flock, “Remember, though, that we born-again believers will not be here in those times. We will have been raptured already and safe and sound in Heaven Above.
We are yet in the dispensation of the church age—the age of grace. The rapture will take place at the end of this church age. And this same rapture will take place just before the tribulation age. We will not see the antichrist and his false prophet. We will not see the twenty-one judgments. We will not see a world without the Holy Spirit’s restraining. We will be with Jesus in the joy and peace and love in Heaven when all of these things will be happening upon the world below. Let us rejoice in the mercy and grace of God poured out upon us born-again Christians.”
Then the pastor said, “A great way to rejoice in the Lord is to be thankful for church. Let us sing now about church. Let us sing and praise God for our Second Advent Baptist Church. Our church is the last of its kind in the Midwest. Take your hymnbooks if you would and turn to hymn number
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458 and let us sing, ‘The Church in the Wildwood.’”
The flock of this last fundamental Baptist church stood and sang this hymn in worship:
“1. There’s a church in the valley by the wildwood,
No lovelier spot in the vale;
No place is so dear to my childhood
As the little brown church in the vale.
O come, come, come, come,
Come to the church in the wildwood,
O come to the church in the vale;
No spot is so dear to my childhood
As the little brown church in the vale.
- O come to the church in the wildwood,
To the trees where the wild flowers bloom;
Where the parting hymn will be chanted,
We will weep by the side of the tomb.
O come, come, come, come,
Come to the church in the wildwood,
O come to the church in the vale;
No spot is so dear to my childhood
As the little brown church in the vale.
- How sweet on a clear Sunday morning,
To list to the clear ringing bell;
Its tones so sweetly are calling,
O come to the church in the vale.
O come, come, come, come,
Come to the church in the wildwood,
O come to the church in the vale;
No spot is so dear to my childhood
As the little brown church in the vale.
- From the church in the valley by the wildwood,
When day fades away into night,
I would fain from this spot of my childhood
Wing my way to the mansions of light.
O come, come, come, come,
Come to the church in the wildwood,
O come to the church in the vale;
No spot is so dear to my childhood
As the little brown church in the vale.”
Pastor then called upon Proffery for a word of prayer for this church. Pastor then called upon
Flanders to close this service with a word of prayer. Then Pastor dismissed his flock for the evening.
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The four born-again believers were riding Bree back home to the Good Havens from church tonight. Gretchen said, “I am sure glad that I will not be left behind to face the tribulation.”
“Pastor once said that it will be a global calamity even worse than was the great flood,” said Proffery.
“Even the Holy Spirit of God leaves Earth in those end times,” said Destiny.
“Remember what we learned from church about why God will bring the tribulation upon the Earth,” said Flanders.
“To punish Israel for having rejected their Messiah,” said Proffery one of the reasons for the tribulation to come.
“To punish the Gentiles for their treatment of the Jews,” said Destiny another reason for the tribulation.
“And to punish the Gentiles for their rejection of Jesus,” said Gretchen the last reason for those seven years on Earth to come.
“I like the way that you two girls fight in the ring,” said Flanders.
“We women wrestlers are rough and tough,” bragged Destiny.
“Not as rough and tough as women boxers, I’d bet,” said Proffery.
”Little Sister, can you imagine being punched?” asked Gretchen.
“Oh. I can’t take a real punch,” said Destiny.
“I can’t throw a real punch,” said Gretchen.
“Do boxing gloves really hurt?” asked Destiny.
“Women get knocked unconscious when they get slugged by one of those,” said Gretchen.
“Cool! I want to watch,” said Flanders.
“Neat!” said Proffery succinctly. “Neat!”
“Ouch. More painful than a forearm smash,” said Destiny.
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“And quicker than a sleeper hold,” said Gretchen.
“And more real that all-star wrestling,” said Flanders.
“Women’s boxing is all real,” said Proffery.
“I have something in my back pocket,” said Flanders.
“What is it, boyfriend?” asked Gretchen.
“A state of Wisconsin quarter-dollar,” Flanders said.
“They finally minted one for our state now,” said Destiny. “I saw one just the other day.”
“Let’s see it, Brother,” said Proffery.
“I saw one, too,” said Gretchen. “But I want to see it again.”
“Good thing that it is a full and bright moon tonight, or else none of us could see anything on this quarter,” said Flanders. He pulled it out of his pocket, turned it over to its tail side, and held it out on his palm for all four to admire it. Thereupon was a banner that read, “Forward,” and a cob of corn with its husks peeled down, and a cake of cheese with a wedge missing, and a dairy cow’s head with a cowbell around her neck.
“We are ‘America’s Dairyland!’” bragged Flanders on Wisconsin.
“We are the ‘Badger state,’” said Destiny.
“Our state bird is the robin,” said Gretchen.
“Our state flower is the violet,” said Proffery.
“Our state tree is the sugar maple,” said Flanders.
“What do you think that the name of our state means?” asked Gretchen.
“Yeah,” said Destiny. “Does the name ‘Wisconsin’ have a definition somewhere out there?”
Proffery went on to say, “I read about Wisconsin one day at the library. The origin of the name ‘Wisconsin’ comes from the French word ‘ouisconsin,’ whose definition came from the Indians.”
“What would you say that the definition of Wisconsin is from that ‘ouisconsin,’ Brother
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Proffery?” asked Flanders.
“Something like ‘gathering of the waters,’ or ‘wild rushing water,’” taught Proffery.
“Lots of things that happen when different languages come together,” said Gretchen.
“Not just when the Americans and the French and the American Indians got together to name our fine state,” said Destiny.
“What do you mean by that, Little Sister?” asked Gretchen.
“My girlfriend knows things,” said Proffery. “Do tell us, if you would.”
And Destiny went on to say, “Strange English words so unlike our twentieth century English words are scattered throughout our good and beloved King James Bible. We know them, because we read them.”
“Tell us one,” said Flanders, curious.
“’Kine’ for one,” said Destiny.
“That means ‘cows,’” said Gretchen.
“Tell us another, girlfriend,” said Proffery.
“’Beeves’ for another,” said Destiny.
“Those are cattle,’” said Flanders.
“And even the normal word ‘kids,’ for another,” said Destiny.
“That does not mean ‘children’ as it does now,” said Proffery. “’Kids, instead, mean ‘young goats.’”
“All words that were current in 1611 English when they translated our King James Bible for the English-language-speaking people of the world,” said Destiny.
“What a change in less than four hundred years, Little Sister,” said Gretchen.
“In just our one English language, O Big Sister,” said Destiny.
“Our King James Bible is still the only perfect Bible out there in our English language,” said
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Proffery.
“Yea, Brother,” said Flanders. “And our King James Bible is the only Holy Bible written by God.”
“The modern translations of the Bible are written by man and are based on corrupted manuscripts,” said Gretchen.
“The modern translations are the words of men and not the Words of God,” said Destiny. “They add to and take away from our one true Bible.”
“Praise God for the King James Commission,” said Proffery.
“They were persecuted by the Catholic church,” said Flanders.
“Boyfriend, we’re home,” said Gretchen.
“My East Cabin,” said Flanders. “Would you take me to my door, good Bree?”
Bree tooted a note on her unicorn horn in eager assent. And at the cabin door she did stop, and everybody got off. And the three others home now from church walked the rest of their way to their own cabins. And Flanders and Bree settled in for the night.
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CHAPTER XV
The group of Christians of the sand dunes and their pets were gathered together at Proffery’s West Cabin in the backyard overlooking the Good Havens. In the peaceful field grass, Flanders was sitting on the ground, and Gretchen was sitting on his lap, and Laddie was sitting on Gretchen’s lap, and Bree was sitting to Flanders’s right in the grass, her unicorn horn being petted by Gretchen. Beside them also in this countryside wild grass lay Proffery on his back, with Destiny lying upon her back in the grass to his right crosswise with her head resting upon his belly, and with Donner lying upon his belly upon Destiny’s legs also cross ways, and with Zephyr lying upon her belly on the grass to Proffery’s left, her eagle wings fanning master and master’s girlfriend where they lay in this hot summer day. Flanders talked about the beauty of the field grass upon which he was sitting and how tall this field grass was that reached over his head right now. And Proffery was talking about the clouds he was watching where he lay and how they all changed slowly, either getting larger or getting smaller.
All was good. All was well. All was right.
Just then Gretchen the pom and dance woman thought that she saw something in the sand dunes that was not there before here in the western border of these Good Havens. “Flanders, what’s that in
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the sand that I see?” she asked, gazing out upon it.
“Probably an angel,” said Flanders.
Destiny sat up from where she lay, and she asked, “You see something out there, Gretchen?”
And she put her hand over and above her eyes to take a look out there.
Proffery said, “Either an angel or the Holy Spirit, girls.”
“I think that I see hoof prints,” said Gretchen.
“And they look big from here,” said Destiny.
Flanders asked casually, “Have you been running in the sand dunes lately, Bree girl?” And he turned his head to look.
Bree replied with a note of a “Nay,” on her unicorn horn.
“Proffery, do sit up and look,” said Destiny. “There’s something in our Good Havens that does not look like it belongs there.”
Flanders said, “Could a wild unicorn have gotten into our sand dunes and had a good time?”
Proffery now sat up to look at what the other three were looking at. He said, “Our Good Havens are not meant for wild unicorns to run wild in,”
“What should we do?” asked the cheerleader Destiny.
“I’m going to take a closer look,” said Proffery.
“Something is not right,” said Flanders, getting up to his feet.
“I’ve got to find out more about this,” said Proffery, getting up to his feet and walking up to the Gretchen’s discovery incongruous to the sand dunes. Flanders came also. As did the women. And as did the eight pets.
The born-again believers examined this out-of-place line of hoof prints in the sand. These prints of hooves ran right along this western edge of the Good Havens right here and right up against the rural fields before it. Indeed these hoof prints were far bigger than the hoof prints that the domestic
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and benevolent Bree could make in her runs through the sand. And a normal wild unicorn was no bigger than the tame Bree. Furthermore, the distance in the sand between the hoof prints indicated a run of a supernatural and perhaps malevolent unicorn. Also, there were regular missing hoof prints that were missing only on the side closest to the fields around it. The hoof prints farther within the sand dunes were all there all the way down the trail in the sand. But the hoof prints right next to Proffery’s backyard in the sand dunes’ outer perimeter were not all there in regularity. The men surmised that this galloping super-unicorn was sometimes stepping out onto the natural world as he galloped thus across this sacred refuge of Gods’ sand.
The four born-again Christians understood somewhat of this conundrum. The four pets were not capable of comprehending. Right now only the omniscient God knew the whole truth.
“Our Good Havens has had a trespasser,” summed up Flanders.
“We do not know for sure who this trespasser was,” said Proffery.
The four all had most morbid apprehensions that it had to be the one that they were all thinking about but dared not say out loud.
“Boyfriend?” called forth the cheerleader.
“I am here for you, Destiny,” said Proffery. “And God is here for us.”
“I’m scared, Flanders,” said the pom pom girl.
“Trust God,” said Flanders. “We two must trust God, Gretchen.”
“Has Paradise fallen this day, Brother?” asked Proffery.
“I don’t know. I just know that evil has now first entered our glorious sand dunes,” said Flanders.
Brave, Gretchen said out loud what all four were thinking. “It’s the Baneful Unicorn. Isn’t it, guys?”
The two boyfriends nodded their heads and both said, ‘We believe so.”
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“So the Demon of Upper Michigan comes along running along the edge of our sand dunes,” declared Destiny, saying the same thing that her twin sister had just said. “I thought that only us eight were allowed to run around in the Good Havens.”
“Demons are the most powerful incarnations of evil, Destiny,” said Proffery.
“They all serve the Devil, who is the person and personification of all evil of all places of all times,” said Flanders.
“You mean that the Baneful Unicorn is not afraid to come along and spoil our sand dunes for us,” said Gretchen.
“The Baneful Unicorn fights Christ. Does he not also fight Christians?” asked Proffery.
Flanders drew his sword from his scabbard, and he swung it around in swordplay at a foe who was not here right now. Likewise, Proffery loaded his crossbow and fired bolts out at a demon who was already gone from here.
Destiny asked, “You guys…do you really think that maybe our sand dunes might not be no good for us anymore even after the wicked demon was going to and fro in it recently?”
“Perhaps if we stepped out into it and dare take our first step into it after having seen all of this evidence left behind,” said Proffery.
“Here we are standing in Proffery’s back yard, looking and thinking and coming up with ideas, and we have not even come out onto our good old sand,” said Flanders.
“I am afraid of our sand dunes, Flanders,” said Gretchen.
“I do not want to go out into there again until I know for sure that it is still the old Good Havens that it had always been,” said Destiny.
“I will go out into the sand dunes myself and find out,” said Flanders.
Proffery said, “If you still feel God’s perfect peace there, Flanders, then it is still our good old sand dunes despite all.”
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“Well, guys and gals, here I go,” said Flanders.
Proffery suddenly ran into the Good Havens just as Flanders walked out into it.
“Ah,” said Flanders.
“Yeah,” said Proffery.
“What do you think?” asked Destiny.
“What’s the verdict, if I dare ask?” asked Gretchen.
“God is here,” said the two boyfriends.
“Praise God!” said the two women. And the two gals thereupon stepped out into their especial place from God here again.
Gretchen said, “It is as if the Lord had never left our wonderful sand dunes,”
“God is everywhere,” said Flanders. “Though a Devil’s unicorn may have violated these sand dunes with his self, God was still here then when the minion ran around and wreaked his havoc here as he had done.”
“Brother,” said Proffery, “I still do not like looking at the Baneful Unicorn’s tracks in our sand.”
“Maybe we should pray and ask God to take them away from our Good Havens,” said Flanders.
“That sounds like a good idea,” said Proffery.
The pom pom girl spoke up and said, “I’ve got a better idea,”
“What do you think, Gretchen?” asked Flanders.
“Maybe God would have us do this task for ourselves,” said Gretchen Fables.
“Yeah, Big Sister,” said Destiny. “Our men have penny loafers on, and we Fables twins have sneakers on. We can scrape our feet upon the sand and brush over sand upon the hoof prints and make them all go away.”
“Just so we don’t have to see them anymore in our Good Havens,” said Gretchen.
“Great idea, girlfriend,” said Flanders.
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Proffery said, “Are we up to it? Look how far down these tracks go left to right in front of us here. That will take a long time.”
“Then we better get started right now,” said Flanders.
“And our pets can help us in our good deed, as well,” said Gretchen.
“’Many hands make light work,’ Big Sister, as Mom always says,” said the cheerleader.
“Let’s clean up the sand dunes for God,” said Proffery.
“And let’s clean up the sand dunes for ourselves, also,” said Flanders.
And at once the eight of these sand dunes and their north country went to work effacing the prints from the sand put there by the Baneful Unicorn. And after a couple hours of such work, their job for God was all done. The sand dunes no longer bore evidence of the visit from the Baneful Unicorn.
All was well once again with these pure and sacred Good Havens.
“I don’t know about you guys, but now I like it better here now,” said Gretchen.
“These sand dunes are no place for a girl to have to think upon our Demon of the Upper Peninsula,” said Destiny.
And the eight frolicked in spree in the Good Havens with the free spirit of coming upon a paradise restored. The pom and dance girl and her boyfriend got to chasing each other down into the sands. The cheerleader and her boyfriend began to play horsey back rides in the sand. The two women began to wrestle each other. The two men began to roughhouse with each other. Mistress and Collie dog kissed and hugged. Mistress and German Shepherd played fetch with a little rock that was there in the sand. Master and unicorn had a war game, the sword against the unicorn horn. And master and griffin also had fun in their ministry as soldiers, the griffin chasing after the bolts fired by the crossbow.
And all four of the Christians began to sing hymns of God. And all four pets began to “make their own joyful noise” unto the God of creation. And peace with God and peace of God filled these Good Havens to the glory of God and to the joy of His eight children here, playing in their sand dunes.
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Meanwhile, from a mile up in the skies, Lucifer and his Baneful Unicorn were looking down upon these happy games the eight of Beaver, Wisconsin, were playing in the Good Havens.
Unhappy with his unicorn demon of the U.P., Lucifer said, “Do you see what I see down there?
I see four born-again Christians rejoicing in their Jesus and happy in the Lord in those foul sand dunes. I had sent you down there yesterday to take that away from them.”
“Alas, father, the Holy Spirit of God cleanses sand dunes. I cannot wreck with mere trampling the efficacious blessing that their Jesus has put upon those sand dunes,” said the Baneful Unicorn.
“I will that your attack upon their selves be more effectual to me than your invasion upon their beloved sand dunes,” said Lucifer.
“What does a demon like me do to make that happen to such faithful believers as those four down there right now?” asked the Demon of Upper Michigan.
“For one, you must take away their love for the Holy Bible,” said Lucifer.
“The women love their Bible more even than they love their attire,” said the Baneful Unicorn.
“And the men both call their Bible, ‘their first love,’” said the unicorn demon.
“For another, you must take away their love for prayer,” aid Lucifer.
“Alas, father, the women love prayer in their quiet time, and they love prayer in group prayer meetings even more,” said the Baneful Unicorn. “And as for the men, they both call prayer their ‘first- in-command means of worship.’”
“For another, you must take away their love for that accursed Baptist church that they always go to without fail,” said Lucifer.
“Woe, master, the pom pom girl and the cheerleader had just recently been baptized and have joined their church as official members. It would take a team of wild unicorns to keep them from church now. And the sword fighter and the crossbow man have yet to miss one service after many years of perfect attendance,” said the Demon of the Upper Peninsula.
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“The woman is the weaker vessel than is the man,” said Lucifer. “They are also more easily deceived than is the man. Work on the Fables twins. They will not give us the fight that their boyfriends do.”
“My master, the Fables twins love their Jesus more than they love even their own lives,” said the Baneful Unicorn. “Their pets, their apparel, their boyfriends, even those sand dunes down there those two women esteem less than they do their Saviour.”
“No woman of God is beyond my power,” declared the great deceiver Lucifer. “Tempt them.
Make them doubt the Word of God. Say unto them, ‘Yea, hath God said?’ Give them something from the world to take their eyes off Christ. Offer them sweet nothings. Then look and see if they fall into sin. Then you’ve got them.”
“And if I get them, what shall I do?” asked the Demon of Upper Michigan.
“Then go after the two men. Once a girlfriend falls into backsliding, then she can more easily cause her boyfriend to fall with her as well,” said Lucifer.
“That I am most glad to do for you, my father,” said the Baneful Unicorn.
“But to destroy the Good Havens, O good demon, that is your first priority,” said Lucifer. “Indeed these four pillars of faith that live by the sand dunes are scourges in my side s and thorns in my eyes, and they are incessant reminders to me that I do not yet have all of mankind in my power. Truly no more holiness of God is in any other of Christianity as it is in those two soldiers and their girlfriends in all of the Midwest of America. They are so overflowing with Christ that I am sick just to look at them down there now. But even those four are not as shining a light of God as are those Good Havens in their most manifest and inimitable glory of God. I may want those Christians dead or backslidden, good unicorn demon, but I have to have those sand dunes desecrated unto utter sacrilege above all other things that I have you to do for me as my Baneful Unicorn.”
“I understand, O father,” said the Baneful Unicorn.
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“Do you have any questions, my demon of Upper Michigan?” asked Lucifer.
“Would you have me to destroy the four believers first in order to more easily conquer those sand dunes? Or would you have me to destroy the sand dunes first in order to more easily conquer those four believers?” asked the Baneful Unicorn.
“First things first,” said Lucifer.
In understanding, the Baneful Unicorn said, “I must first wreck those sand dunes.”
“Once their Good Havens is taken away from them, not only the two gals but then also their two guys will no longer be on fire for Jesus,” said Lucifer. “That which they have the most from God—those Good Havens—will no longer be their place to go and worship God. For the sand dunes enhance their peace that they do have in worship. Once they have to worship God for now on in the Earth and no longer in the sand dunes, their worship will no longer be abundant and overflowing and running over with the Presence of God as it always was in the Good Havens for them. They will become disillusioned. Then they will become disappointed. Then they will become discouraged. Then they will become frustrated. Not long later, they will grab a hold of roots of bitterness. And they will turn against God. And God’s four prizes in northern Wisconsin will backslide. And, lo, you will have turned America’s most faithful four born-again believers into prodigal sons and prodigal daughters. And I will be very happy. And my enemy Jesus will look bad because of them.”
“My crafty master, those two Christian soldiers will not leave those sand dunes to allow me to work my work upon the Good Havens,” said the Demon of the Upper Peninsula. “I will have to battle the swordsman and the crossbow man in order to go and wreck that little paradise. May I be allowed to take them out for good and not just take away the sand dunes and have to wait for them to fall into sin after?”
“You have the good spirit of murder in your blood, O demon unicorn of mine,” said Lucifer. “I am murderer from the beginning. Upon hearing these words which you have said, I now give you also
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the opportunity to slay the four devout believers as well as to commit abomination upon their sand dunes. The battle must take place then in the sand dunes themselves.”
“I thank you, my master and father,” said the Baneful Unicorn.
“Are you willing to give your life for me were you to be slain in battle, O demon unicorn?” asked Lucifer.
“I most willingly choose to take a sword into my side or a crossbow bolt in to my belly were I to see such evil as a Baneful Unicorn like myself can do against the cause of Christ, my potentate,” vowed the unicorn demon.
“Behold a demon who hates God almost as much as I do,” proclaimed Lucifer. “A fine and most loyal subject for me to use.”
“I am ever at your service,” vowed the Baneful Unicorn.
“Because of this, my Upper Michigan demon, when that day of battle does come very soon, I will give you an extra piece of my power to give you more assured victory over the soldiers of Christ,” said Lucifer.
“What might that piece of evil spirit be, my father and master?” asked the Demon of Upper Michigan.
“It will be a supernatural power with which you can do your work for me more thoroughly, a certain power of magic I give unto you that is above and beyond your physical power as the Baneful Unicorn,” said Lucifer.
“Your servant is the biggest and strongest unicorn of all of the United States,” bragged the Baneful Unicorn.
“My gift to you will endow you with psychic powers with which you can do great wonders,” said Lucifer. “Wonders of battle and wonders of sacrilege.”
Again the Baneful Unicorn said, “I am at your service, my lord.”
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“But there is one word of warning about which I must tell you for your own welfare,” said Lucifer.
“Speak on, my lord,” said the Demon of Upper Michigan.
And Lucifer said, “Beware of the spoken Word of God from the King James Bibles spoken by the two Christian warrior men.”
“What can a Bible verse do to me, my sire?” asked the Baneful Griffin.
“Beware, my son,” said Lucifer. “Beware of the power of the Christian who can say to you in battle, ‘Thus saith the Lord.’”
“I am not afraid of God’s Word, O Lucifer,” said the Demon of Upper Michigan addressing his master by his name.
“My servant, be afraid of God’s Word,” said Lucifer.
“All of them are down there right now, having a good time. Let me go down and spoil their good time,” demanded the Baneful Unicorn.
“Your hour to wreck the sand dunes is only twenty-five days away from now,” said Lucifer, knowing the time.
“I have a message that I want to tell them,” said the Baneful Unicorn.
“Then go down to them now and tell them your message, O demon,” said Lucifer. And the Baneful Unicorn descended down toward the Earth. And Lucifer flew off toward the north to go and to speak to his Demon of Wisconsin.
Lo, the great and terrible Baneful Unicorn, lighted upon the ground amid the field grass of Proffery’s back yard along the western border of the Good Havens where the eight were playing games.
Flanders drew his sword and came running toward the unicorn demon, and Proffery loaded his crossbow and aimed it at this formidable beast of Satan.
Cool under pressure, the Baneful Unicorn said, “Yet twenty-five days, and then I will devastate
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this paradise of sand in which you eight joy and rejoice in the Lord.”
The battle over these Good Havens was not yet to take place. Flanders felt that that day was ordained by God, even though it was declared by a demon of the Devil. And he again sheathed his saber and stopped his charge. Proffery likewise understood that that day were on God’s timetable and not on their timetable and not on the unicorn’s timetable. And he lowered his crossbow.
Flanders said in agreement, “Yet twenty-five days, O Baneful Unicorn.”
And Proffery asked, “Baneful Unicorn, tell us, ‘Were you the one who was running around in here where you have no business running around in here?’”
“It was I,” declared the Demon of the U.P.”
“You shall die for that, O unicorn demon,” said Flanders.
“Twenty-five days from now,” said Proffery.
“Nay, my disagreeable believers,” said the Baneful Unicorn. “That day I shall finish what I started the other day in my run. Twenty-five days from now.”
“Be gone from us now, and do not come back to disturb us again until that day,” said Flanders.
“To that I do acquiesce,” said the Upper Michigan demon.
And having made his promise of that day of battle once again this day, the Baneful Unicorn lifted up high into the skies in flight and did quickly disappear into the horizon. He would be back in a season.
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CHAPTER XVI
It was midnight, and Pastor was at his church all alone with his Heavenly Father as he reflected and prayed and gave thanks to his Good Lord. He had walked here this late night from his parsonage the next house down the county trunk road in the countryside. He loved to fellowship with his Saviour at home, and he loved to fellowship with his Saviour at his church on a non-church day as well. The night was warm and the wind was gentle and the walk was safe. He stood before his church sign, and with his cast iron poker he tended to the fire pit fire that gave light to it. His church sign read the following:
“Second Advent Baptist Church
Pastor Doctrine Verity Canon
Sunday School: 9:30 A.M.
Sunday Morning Worship: 10:45 A.M.
Sunday Evening Worship: 7:00 P.M.
Wednesday Night Bible Study and Prayer Meeting: 7:00 P.M.
Thursday Evening Visitation: 7:00 P. M.
‘…, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved,…’
–Acts 16:31”
This church’s sign, made of wood, was mounted upon a crisscross structure of log cabin logs set up like those little wooden toy logs joined at the corners. This church sign was elevated at three feet above the ground at its bottom and at seven feet above the ground at its top. And its shape was a
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square four feet by four feet. And the sign was of a dark wood; and the letters, of a light wood. And this sign was along the left corner of the church building itself. Pastor Canon then walked around the church first to its left side. On this wall were five little flying buttresses. And in this church yard on this side of the church was an orchard of Honey Crisp apple trees. Pastor loved Honey Crisp apples; his flock some years ago had first planted these trees just for him for a time to come when these apple trees would all grow up and give forth their fruit for him in abundance. In the tranquil dark of late night alone with the Lord, Pastor picked one, thanked God, and bit into it, and thanked God again. Pastor then went around to the back of the church. Back here were three little flying buttresses. And here was an orange grove planted by his flock for themselves to eat in their church picnics in time to come. These times had come, and just last week, his flock had a church picnic back here, and they all picked oranges and ate them right from the branches in an autumn afternoon. Through much prayer, these fruit trees endured despite Wisconsin’s cold winters. Then Pastor turned the corner and walked along the right side of his church. Here were five little flying buttresses. And on this side of the Baptist church was an orchard of Granny Smith apple trees. Emmy, Pastor’s wife, once told the flock how she loved Granny Smith apples. And for a nice surprise one night on a church business meeting the flock had voted to plant an orchard full of Emmy’s favorite apple trees out along this side of the church. Emmy was overwhelmed with this love the flock had for her. And the next day all of the flock came out to plant this orchard just for Pastor’s wife. And here it was, some years later, all grown up and full of nice Granny Smith apples. His wife spent many days of fellowship out here with the other church ladies, all picking and eating and thanking God for these green apples so sour and so delicious.
Pastor then rounded the last corner of his church, and he was out in front of this building once again.
He stood now in the right-hand corner of the facade of Second Advent Baptist Church. Here, resting upon four Box Elder tree stumps one-and-one-half feet high, one stump for each corner, was a wooden box of shittim wood measuring three-and-three-quarters feet long by two-and-one-quarter feet wide by
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two-and-one-quarter feet high. Within this holy wooden box upon the four stumps were two parchments first penned in 1611. The one parchment was the first finished translation of the King James Bible’s committee’s work of the Ten Commandments found in Exodus 20:1-17. And the second parchment was the first finished translation of the King James’ committee’s work of the Ten Commandments as found in Deuteronomy 5:6-21. His flock loved to gaze upon these near-four-hundred-year-old documents, and all took most delicate care when handling these. At all times, God took care for these parchments and made sure that they did not fall into the hands of spoilers and evil people.
The front entrance to this little countryside Baptist church was somewhat fancy for a small church, but the flock liked it and said good things about it. The front doors consisted of two double-doors meeting each other in the middle of the front wall. They each had brass door knockers for looks, and latches to open and close, and were solid without windows. The double-doors, both the ones to the left and the ones to the right, each had a stone staircase of seven steps with stone walls and wrought iron handrails that led up to them right straight to the doors. Also, these double doors, again the ones on the left and the ones on the right, had paved ramps leading up to them from off to the sides with gates and wrought iron railings.
And the church’s paved parking lot had a hundred parking spaces for all the beasts of transportation for all of this little Baptist flock. In fact, Pastor and the deacons went out of their way to make sure each and every member of Second Advent Baptist Church had their own reserved place in this parking lot for their pets whom they rode. And there were extra parking spots for visitors and others, also, in the gravel off to the side of this members’ parking lot.
Pastor now looked upon the exterior of Second Advent Baptist Church, and he praised God for its Mansard roof and for its dormer windows and for its crosses underneath the dormer windows, and for its red brick and mortar for the walls and for its yellow brick and mortar for its flying buttresses
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and for its four cement block chimneys and for its many weather vanes and for its lightning rods.
Pastor then went into Second Advent Baptist Church and lit up its interior lights. And he reveled in God for its four fireplaces in its four corners, complete with fireplace tool set racks of cast iron little shovels and cast iron big brushes and cast iron tongs and cast iron pokers. These four fireplaces were for the four chimneys that he had seen outside. And upon the four mantels were the four Bible verses of the Psalter that had the word ‘psalm’ in them—that is, Psalm 81:2 and Psalm 95:2 and Psalm 98:5 and Psalm 105:2, all engraved upon shale stone. And the books. This auditorium was full of books and shelves of books. It had the comfort of a library here where Pastor did preach to his flock. Pastor often preached the proverb he had heard many times before, “A room without books is like a man without a soul.” There were shelves of Authorized King James Version Bibles in small print and in medium print and in large print. There were shelves of pew Bibles and study Bibles and Gideon Bibles, all of them King James Version. There were shelves of fundamentalist commentary books on all sixty-six books of the Bible. There were shelves of hymnbooks and of Christmas carol books and of Sunday School song books and of song books whose songs were the Psalms set to the music of which they were originally written. There were shelves of salvation tracts, all testifying of the Gospel of salvation and all having sample sinners’ prayers and all mentioning the resurrection in the sample sinners’ prayers. There were shelves of books about the Jews, God’s chosen nation. And there were shelves of books about the Christians, God’s chosen children. And there were shelves of books about Heaven. And there were shelves of books about Hell. Indeed these book shelves lined all four of this church’s walls here inside. And they were all made by a master woodworker. The floor of this little auditorium was a bare hardwood floor. For seating, the flock had simple chairs with a little desktop above and with a little book rack below. The flock took notes from Pastor Canon’s sermons upon these desktops. As for the formation of these chairs in this auditorium, there were ten rows of chairs, each row ten chairs wide. And these rows were arranged in curved arches, the centers of the arches toward
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the back and the ends of the arches toward the front. And each row had aisles left and right and in the middle, thus dividing five chairs in the left from five chairs in the right, row by row. The auditorium thus resembled a theater where one would go and see a play. For light during the day, this Baptist church had five dormer windows to the right and five dormer windows to the left. And for light during the night, this little house of God had red kerosene lanterns on lamp tables underneath each dormer window along both walls. As for Pastor’s pulpit from which he did preach to his Baptist flock, he made sure that it was not set upon an elevated stage. Pastor saw it fit that he not stand upon a dais so that he would be higher than his people where he stood to preach. His pulpit was made by a skilled missionary builder who charged the church nothing for his good work. On top of this simple pulpit from where Pastor Canon preached his sermons was his K.J.V. Bible and his church hymnbook and his sermon notes and his church salvation tracts and this church’s constitution and articles of faith. A braided elliptic rug was spread out behind the pulpit on the hardwood floor upon which Pastor Canon did preach. To his right and left were candle stands of five candles each for light for Pastor to see his notes. To Pastor’s far right was the Christian flag on a brass flagpole, and to Pastor’s far left was the American flag, also on a brass flagpole. And behind Pastor was the communion table, simple, but God-honoring, built by this same missionary builder free for the church. On this communion table were the collection plates and a pot of pussy willows and a plate of unleavened bread and a rack of grape juice. The next service here, Pastor and his flock were going to celebrate the ordinance of the Lord’s table in the Sunday Morning Worship service. And on the wall in the back of the church behind the preacher at his pulpit were the words in big capital wooden letters, “JESUS SAVES!”
Just then the good Baptist pastor heard the sound of a wind suddenly come up from outside the church building. Then he heard the voice as of an unclean spirit speak and say unto him, “Man of God, yet twenty-five days and I will break your church down to the ground.” Right after this, the pastor
heard the sound of a thud strike his roof. The church shook where it stood, but remained solid. Then
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the preacher heard the sound of a crashing upon a flying buttress from the side of his church. Then he heard the sound of a falling down upon the ground of a great mass right outside the walls of his church. The Baptist minister ran up to a window to see what he could see. Was that a giant griffin which he did see out there in the night? With a quick word of prayer, the missionary ran outside to see what there was to see for himself. He raced around the corner and out into the apple orchard. He heard the sound of skirmish in the dark of night. And he could see a ruckus going on between two opposing sides—one redoubtable griffin vs. one big griffin and one big unicorn. Pastor stood there, watching and daring not to speak a word. Then this colossal griffin had enough, and he fled for his own welfare, He escaped into the air, leaving the wingless unicorn behind, standing upon the Earth, and leaving the griffin behind in the air, himself too fast for the griffin to catch him. Still Pastor spoke not a word. This big griffin must surely have been his greatest foe the Baleful Griffin. Flanders and Proffery kept Pastor ever-aware of every time they had encountered this Baleful Griffin. They had seen him and heard him several times so far. But this was Pastor’s first time of seeing and hearing this griffin. And he was awed by this presence of the Demon of Wisconsin. Pastor still said nothing to the two who had fought for his church just now. One looked like Flanders’s unicorn. The other looked like Proffery’s griffin.
Pastor stayed there and did not manifest himself to the two good pets. They did not see him. Then the one ran off, and the other flew away. And they were gone now. And now all was midnight quiet in the countryside of his Baptist church once again. With another word of prayer, the Baptist missionary then walked back home to his parsonage down the road and went to bed.
In his hasty flight from skirmish in the night, the Baleful Griffin was confronted by Lucifer in the skies. Lucifer was not happy with him. And Lucifer asked him, “What happened? Tell me what just happened back there.”
“I seem to have fled from a fight,” confessed the Demon of Wisconsin.
“Demons do not flee battle on me,” said Lucifer.
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“I will live to see another battle,” said the Baleful Griffin.
“You fought those two mortals like a chump!” said Lucifer.
“I never saw them coming, father,” said the great and evil griffin. “I paid a nocturnal visit to the church, came to understand that that church’s very own pastor was in there, and told him what I would have told the two Christian soldiers of his.”
“Yet twenty-five days,” said Lucifer his demon’s words.
“The time for the battle over that last church was not yet come for me, sir,” said the Baleful Griffin.
“Will you be anymore ready for battle then than you were this night?” challenged Lucifer. “Those two were suddenly upon me. They crashed into me from nowhere, and I was knocked right out of the air,” said the Baneful Griffin.
“I know, my demon. I saw it,” said Lucifer. “You gave your warning to the missionary of God. Then that Zephyr, and that Bree riding the back of Zephyr, came crashing right into your side. They bumped you. You fell down upon the church roof, You then slid down the roof and fell upon the flying buttress. Then you slid off of the flying buttress and fell to the ground. Then you got scared. And you ran away for your life. Shame! Shame! O griffin of griffins of mine!”
“What’s the idea of a unicorn without wings riding the back of a griffin with wings?” called forth the Demon of Wisconsin. “Crazy! Crazy!”
“I will help you in your battle over this last church in the fulness of its time,” said Lucifer. “When that battle takes place, and you face a skilled sword fighter and a man experienced with a crossbow, I will give you an extra piece of my power and wisdom.”
“What might it be, O father?” asked the griffin demon.
“You will know in that day,” said Lucifer.
“Will it be physical?” asked the Baleful Griffin.
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“It shall be spiritual,” said Lucifer.
“Will this power be natural?” asked the demon griffin.
“It shall be supernatural,” said his master.
“Will it be a black magic?” asked the Baleful Griffin.
“It will be a black magic with which you can enhance your fighting prowess beyond the limits of your beak and your talons and your claws,” said Lucifer.
“I shall do better in my next battle than I have this battle of the night, O master,” vowed the dread evil griffin.
“Tell me that again,” said Lucifer in seeking to stir the fires of battle in his bellicose griffin.
“First I will seize their weapons out of their hands with my eagle claws. Second I will break up their weapons in my lion paws. Third I will slay them with my own eagle beak,” promised the fell dark griffin.
“Demon griffin, take heed to my directives,” said Lucifer. “My job for you is to do that pastor’s church what you promise now to do to the Christian soldiers. Focus, my son.”
“I shall wreck the last church of God,” said the Baleful Griffin.
“When those two Christian warriors stand in your way between you and that little church, then go and wreak your havoc upon the men, my follower,” said Lucifer. “But shutting down the last church in Wisconsin is my job for you as the Demon of Wisconsin, O Baleful Griffin,”
“I understand, and I obey,” said the griffin demon.
“Fear not saber. Fear not crossbow. Fear not the master’s pet unicorn. Fear not the master’s pet griffin,” said Lucifer.
“I fear neither masters nor pets, my lord,” said the Baleful Griffin.
“What will you do now to compensate for today’s flight from battle, O griffin of mine?” asked
Lucifer, inciting his fallen angel.
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“I shall go back and make right against my mockers for the work that I had done wrong against my two mockers,” proclaimed the Baleful Griffin. Demons like this demon from Wisconsin felt mocked when they lost battles to lesser forces.
“In other words, you are going to get that unicorn and that griffin for what they did to you,” said Lucifer.
“Quite,” said the Baleful Griffin ashamed at his recent cowardice so rare and so uncharacteristic of demons sent by the Devil.
“Bree and Zephyr,” said Lucifer.
“Dead when I get done with them,” said the Demon of Wisconsin.
“Revenge is a good savor for myself to see in my demons,” said Lucifer.
“My vengeance will be sweeter for the both of us when I can eat it up and their masters will no longer have their pets,” said the Baleful Griffin.
“Go, O unclean spirit, and do my bidding upon these allies of the two Christian soldiers,” said Lucifer.
The Baleful Griffin began to fly away to do his will upon these two who had sent him fleeing.
Lucifer called back to him, “My fellow fallen angel. I have one more word of counsel to give you for the big battle twenty-five days from now,”
Despite his fire for another battle against the mortal pets, the Baleful Griffin stopped and did come back to his master. His master said to him, “Baneful Griffin, there is one force that I must warn you to take heed of and to resist and to shut your ears to.”
“What can such a force be, O Lucifer?” asked the Baleful Griffin, using his father’s personal name.
“It is stronger than any mortal unicorn’s horn. It is more fierce than any mortal griffin’s beak. It can cut worse than our enemy’s sword can cut. It can impale deeper than our enemy’s crossbow bolt
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can impale,” began Lucifer to give final warning to his mighty griffin demon.
“It cannot tear and bruise and devastate as an immortal griffin like myself!” exclaimed the Baleful Griffin.
“My son, you are not an immortal griffin. You are a supernatural griffin,” said Lucifer. “And supernatural griffins do die.”
“Then allow your supernatural griffin to say, master, about this strange force of which you tell me, say to me that I, the formidable Baleful Griffin can possibly lose to it in any battle of good vs. evil,” demanded the Demon of Wisconsin.
“This great strength of which I do seek to warn you, yes, it can tear and bruise and devastate its foes even more assuredly than you have torn and bruised and devastated other Christian soldiers for me in times past,” said Lucifer.
A moment of constrained silence passed between Satan and his demon. “Are you saying, father, that this strange power of which you tell me can lick me in war?” asked the Baleful Griffin.
“I am, my proud Baleful Griffin,” declared Lucifer.
“Would you tell me what this mysterious power might be?” asked the Baleful Griffin.
“It is the Word of God,” disclosed Lucifer to his demon.
“The Bible!” scorned the Baleful Griffin.
“The two Christian warriors know their Bible verses, and they know which ones will hurt you, and they know which ones will help them,” said Lucifer.
“I am supposed to shudder when a Christian soldier says a Bible verse to me?” asked the Baleful Griffin in laughter.
“My demon, laugh not at me. It is unhealthy for you to do that. Laugh not at God. It could be deadly for you to do that,” rebuked Lucifer his subject.
“Words cannot hurt me,” said the Baleful Griffin.
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“God’s Word can,” proclaimed Lucifer. “We demons are invincible in this world of sin. But we demons are alone vulnerable to God’s wrath when we hear or see or read God’s Word.”
“Prove it, my father and my master and my lord,” demanded a rebellious demon against Lucifer, his demonic pride wounded by a Devil wiser than himself.
“It is written about God’s Word,” began Lucifer, “’For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.’ Hebrews 4:12.”
Upon hearing this soul-convicting and spirit-offending Word of God spoken out loud, the Baleful Griffin became dizzy in his eagle head and weak in his eagle legs and unsure on his lion legs.
“I feel faint right now, O father,” called forth the Baleful Griffin.
“I’m the one who had to say it,” said Lucifer. “Even I myself feel like I am about to throw up.”
The Word of God is most holy: the demons of the fallen angel hierarchy are most unholy.
“If I the most wicked of all wicked demons can do so much harm to you speaking only one verse from the Bible, my son, think how you will feel if you let two mighty men of God with their sword and their crossbow, tell you a whole slew of Bible verses down there at their church twenty-five days from today,” said Lucifer.
In understanding, the Baleful Griffin now said, “The Word is more powerful than the saber and than the crossbow.”
“Slay Flanders and Proffery and then the Baptist church will be all yours to destroy,” said Lucifer.
Lucifer no longer felt nauseous. And the Demon of Wisconsin was getting his strength back.
“I shall heed, and I shall prevail,” promised the Baleful Griffin.
“”Slay and eat, my good demon griffin,” said Lucifer about the final battle at this church soon to come.
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“And raze and break down, my father,” said the Baneful Griffin about what he was going to do to Second Advent Baptist Church right after this battle soon to come.
And having said this, Lucifer said, “Make me proud of you, my good Baleful Griffin.”
“That I shall do most convincingly, my father,” said the Baleful Griffin.
Then Lucifer flew away to tend to his work with another demon in another part of the world. And the Demon of Wisconsin flew away to finish his work with the two pets who had so embarrassed him this night in skirmish down below.
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CHAPTER XVII
The eight denizens of the Good Havens were gathered at Gretchen’s North Cabin out back. It was Sunday, church day. And it was time to go to Second Advent Baptist Church for Sunday School.
This good Baptist church had Sunday School for adults and Sunday School for children. And these four believers had never missed one day of Sunday School from their very first day at this church some years ago. The men mounted their pets to go to worship now. The women did not mount their pets to go to worship now.
“Are you coming?” asked Flanders in tease that they always came.
But the women looked at each other and did not tease back. They looked ashamed, even, all of a sudden.
Proffery said, “Are you women too sick to come with us today?”
“No. No,” said Destiny. “Neither one of us twins is sick.”
“Brother, there is something wrong,” said Flanders, perceiving hesitation in going to church in these twins for their first time.
‘They’re just teasing us,” said Proffery. “Our girlfriends are pulling our legs.”
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“Who’s going to tell them, Big Sister?” asked Destiny Fables.
Gretchen said, “I’m the older of us twins. It must be me.”
“Gretchen, do you have to go to work today on the Lord’s day?” asked Flanders.
Destiny said, “Neither Gretchen nor I have to go to work today, Flanders.”
And Gretchen said, “Flanders, Proffery, we girls decided to stay home from church today and to frolic with our big dogs together out in the sand dunes again.”
“Why, woman, you can frolic with your big dogs in the sand dunes any day,” said Proffery in shock. “Going to church happens only four times a week.”
“Gretchen, you know how Pastor always preaches that it is a sin to not go to church unless you’re sick or you have to go to work,” said Flanders with a heavy burden of anxiety.
“We did go to church last time, Flanders,” said Gretchen.
“And we will go to church next time,” said Destiny.
“Woman, do not tempt God Almighty,” warned Flanders Nickels.
“Brother, I do not have rest in this,” said Proffery. “Sometime bad might happen from all of this.”
“Boyfriends, we girls will be okay,” said Gretchen.
“This time our dogs need us more than God needs us,” said Destiny.
For the cause of righteousness, Proffery rebuked the Fables twins, saying, “Neither Laddie nor Donner died for your sins, girls.”
Destiny snapped at her boyfriend, saying to him, “My sister said that we will be all right, Proffery.”
Flanders said, “Brother, they made up their mind. There is nothing that we can do right now but to keep them in our prayers.”
“Why, you women are loving the big dogs that the Lord gave you more than you love the
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Lord Who had created them.” explained Proffery in one last attempt to exhort the girls to do right.
“Pastor calls that ‘idolatry,’ Little Sister,” said Gretchen, nonchalant.
“’False idolatry’ Big Sister,” said Destiny, indifferent.
Just then Laddie gave forth a “Whoof!” and Donner ran into the sand dunes and turned back to see his mistress.
“They’re calling us for a game in the sand dunes, Destiny!” called out Gretchen.
“Ooo! Let me join you!” called forth Destiny.
“Woe, Brother Proffery!” said Flanders in disappointment in his girlfriend-in-the-Lord.
“Hm,” said Proffery, and he said no more.
And in discouragement, the men of the sand dunes rode their unicorn and their griffin to church to honor and glorify a God Who would never let them down.
And the women and their pets of the sand dunes had a most happy spree amid the Good Havens.
When the men arrived at church in the morning, they were troubled; and worried, but when they left church in the afternoon, they were glad and encouraged.
The women who stayed home from church were happy in their frolic in paradise in the morning; but when afternoon came along and their fun and games were done, they no longer had rest in their hearts, and they were troubled.
The Holy Spirit had rewarded the men obedient to His commands. But the same Holy Spirit convicted the women of disobedience to His commands.
After all of this was done and over, Destiny said, “We should have gone with the men to Sunday School and to Sunday Morning Worship.”
“Yeah,” said Gretchen. “Maybe you’re right.”
“But not all of the time anymore,” said Destiny.
“No. We don’t have to go every time,” said Gretchen. “We don’t have to be like we used to
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be.”
“Let’s both just go lots, Big Sister,” said Destiny.
“Yes! Lots anyway,” said Gretchen.
And God looked down from Heaven upon His two prodigal daughters, and he was not happy with them. It was time for Him to take away His hand of protection upon them for their unrepentant sins.
It was mid-afternoon later this day for the Fables Twins, and they were in Gretchen’s backyard, still with their dogs. Feeling guilty from their sin of this morning, neither the pom and dance girl nor the cheerleader felt righteous enough to step out into the sand dunes for another good time. But they could still have a good time here in the backyard by the sand dunes as they did so often. And Gretchen said to her pet dog, “Laddie, I wonder if even Jesus Himself shines with His regal glory as resplendently as you do as my Collie dog love.”
“Big Sister, you shouldn’t talk that way,” warned Destiny.
“You feel the same way about your Donner,” said Gretchen. “Tell me that you don’t.”
“German Shepherds are awfully handsome,” confessed Destiny. “I cannot deny what you say.”
Just then from above came down a mighty gale. And a great and malevolent unicorn grabbed a hold of Laddie by his back of his neck in his horse teeth! And he lifted back up into the air, carrying Laddie up with him! Behold, the beloved pet of Gretchen was suddenly one hundred feet above his mistress! Lo, the grievous work of the Baneful Unicorn heaped upon an errant pom pom girl of the Lord!
Gretchen Fables cried up to the Baneful Unicorn for mercy. She did not pray to Jesus for mercy this time. And the Demon of Upper Michigan showed no mercy. Laddie was whimpering for dear life.
Gretchen was sobbing for fear. And the Baneful Unicorn laughed at his prey’s mistress. Then the unicorn demon opened his horse teeth and did let fall the airborne Laddie. The Collie fell instantly and
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quickly to his death down to the ground next to the North Cabin. Then the pom pom Christian girl fainted away into unconsciousness.
Then Destiny knew that her dog was next. She ran toward Donner and called him to come to her. But the fleet and speedy demon unicorn was faster than the both of them. And in the air he got to the German Shepherd before his mistress could. And he grabbed a hold of Donner’s back of his neck the same way he had Laddie’s. And he picked Donner up off of the earth and did lift him up over a hundred feet above ground as well. In panic the cheerleader rebuked the Demon of Upper Michigan in the name of Satan. But that just made the Baneful Unicorn fly up higher. Destiny grew dizzy in swoon. She rallied and shook her head from her disorientation, and she did look up and call out, “I’m sorry, Donner. It is my fault.” Brave, Donner betrayed no canine cry. And, sure enough, the Baneful Unicorn released Donner to let him fall to his death most abruptly and terminally. The German Shepherd crashed fatally upon Gretchen’s yard on the other side of the North Cabin from Laddie. And the Baneful Unicorn gave forth a laughter that echoed across the skies. How the cheerleader now hated this dread unicorn demon. Faint, but not passing out, Destiny Fables fell upon her knees beside the form of her big sister in the grass. She shook her, trying to revive her. And Gretchen began to come to.
“Is it true, Little Sister?” asked Gretchen.
“It is true,” said Destiny.
“Did it really happen?” asked Gretchen.
“It really happened, Big Sister,” said Destiny.
“Did he get both of them?” asked Gretchen.
“Yes. He got both of them,” said Destiny.
“We must give them a decent burial,” said Gretchen.
“Right now?” asked Destiny.
“Our dogs and our God would like that, Destiny,” said Gretchen.
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“Let us do what God would like us to do,” said Destiny.
From above, as he was leaving, the Baneful Unicorn vowed, “Yet one day, and your Good Havens will be like your good dogs, O women of God.” And, having said this, he flew away, happy for having caused most evil hurt to two daughters of Christ.
“We brought this upon ourselves, Big Sister,” said Destiny.
“It stared out just skipping out on one Sunday School service. Then it grew and became plans for a long-term unfaithfulness in our church attendance. Then we began to love our dogs more than we did our Saviour,” said Gretchen.
“Remember what Pastor had warned us about in his preaching,” said Destiny.
“Sin will always take you farther than you want to go,” said Gretchen Pastor’s words of sermon.
“And his other proverb that he always warns us of the flock about,” said Destiny.
And Gretchen said this proverb of this missionary’s sermons, also, “If you backslide little, you will backslide much.”
“Let’s go and bury our dogs, Big Sister,” said Destiny.
“No. Not yet,” said Gretchen.
“I know what you’re saying,” said Destiny. “Let’s repent and get right with our Lord Jesus Christ again first.”
And the pom and dance girl and the cheerleader got down on their knees before God Almighty, and they had a prayer meeting up to God. They said to God how sorry that they were, and they asked God to forgive them, and they repented fully of their sins before God. It is written in I John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all
unrighteousness.” When their prayers of penitence were done, they then stood back up.
Destiny Fables then spoke and said, “We should go to Sunday Evening Worship together with our boyfriends tonight.” Then she said, “Let’s.”
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“Little Sister, I feel the same way now,” said Gretchen. “Church is the first place that I want to be tonight.”
“Pastor is right. Isn’t he?” asked Destiny. “We don’t have to go to church. We get to go to church.”
“Yeah. It is written, ‘I was glad when they said unto me, Let us go into the house of the Lord.’”
said Gretchen.
“Psalm 122:1, Big Sister,” said Destiny.
Gretchen knew that she had to tell Flanders what happened to Laddie; and Destiny, to tell Proffery about Donner. Then the Fables twins went and got two shovels from the North Cabin, and they went to both sides of this cabin where the dead dogs lay, and they buried their beloved pets.
“Farewell, Laddie,” said Gretchen. “Never had another mistress as handsome a Collie as you,”
Likewise Destiny said “Good-bye,” to her Donner and did add, “I will think about you every day for now on.”
“I shall feel sad about this day for the rest of my life,” said Gretchen.
“I shall feel lonesomeness without my dog, too, Big Sister,” said Destiny.
“Let’s let God be our all,” said Gretchen.
“With Jesus no mistress need be lonely without her dog,” said Destiny.
“Jesus forgives and heals,” said Gretchen.
“Jesus saves and loves,” said Destiny.
That very evening, in the light of sunny day, the four were again on their way to church for the Sunday Evening Worship. The pom pom girl and Flanders were riding his unicorn; the cheerleader and Proffery were riding his griffin. The women then told the men what had happened to their dogs.
“I am sorry for that, Gretchen,” said Flanders. “I never thought to see the day when they were
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no longer with us.”
And Proffery said, “This day two of us eight have passed away. I guess that I thought that dogs lived for ever, O Destiny. I am sad with you.”
The girls then began to whisper to each other about the other matter that had come up upon them this day back by the sand dunes. “We should tell them,” said Gretchen out loud.
“Tell us what?” asked Flanders.
“What the Baneful Unicorn told us just after he killed our dogs, Flanders,” said Destiny.
“What did he say to you women?” asked Proffery.
And Gretchen said, “Yet one day, and I will kill the Good Havens,”
“That’s what the Baneful Unicorn said to us,” said Destiny.
“Brother,” said Flanders, “if we lose tomorrow, we will have this one last day to have our sand dunes for ourselves. If we win tomorrow, we will have until the rapture to have our sand dunes for ourselves.”
“”Is not coming Home in the vale or coming Home in the clouds even better than life in our Good Havens down here, Brother?” asked Proffery.
“What glory to God it would be if we were to die for Christ to protect His Good Havens,” said Flanders.
“Is not the whole Heaven Up There a better place than even our little Heaven of sand dunes down here in Beaver?” asked Proffery.
“Yeah, Brother,” said Flanders. “’Amen!’ to that thought.”
“We would get to give our Lord back a crown of life in Heaven were we to die for Him to protect the Good Havens,” said Proffery.
“The martyrs’ crown!” exclaimed Flanders.
“Glory! Glory!” praised Proffery the Lord of crowns.
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“You boyfriends talk as true soldiers of God,” praised Gretchen.
“I know that you two will win tomorrow’s battle back there at the sand dunes,” commended Destiny their boyfriends.
“Gretchen Fables, remember, I’ve got my mighty unicorn Bree fighting with me tomorrow,” bragged Flanders on his comrade.
“And I will have my ally my brave griffin Zephyr,” said Proffery in boasting of his comrade as well.
Then they were there, at Second Advent Baptist Church. Their pets knowledgeably came up to their own parking spaces, and the four riders dismounted, and the masters bade their two pets to keep the church safe while they four were inside worshiping.
And the group of four came inside and greeted Pastor and Emmy. These four were always the first ones to arrive at church. They fellow shipped now and awaited the others to start coming in, too. It would be another packed little house of God with a hundred parishioners. And it was great to have the pom and dance girl and the cheerleader again sitting beside their boyfriends as pillars of the church.
After a while, all of the flock had come in. Pastor stepped up to his pulpit. And he had a word of prayer for the worship service.
There seemed to be a muffled sound of racket outside the church walls. Flanders thought to hear the sound of commotion. He looked to Proffery. Proffery thought he heard the sound of contention out there. No one else noticed anything not right outside the walls of this little Baptist church right now. Within was the peace of God. But without? Without was a fight going on. Flanders leaned over and whispered in Proffery’s ear, “Let’s go outside and see if everything is all right, Brother.” Proffery nodded. And both sat up at their chairs and began to walk to the exit doors out front. Just then there was a loud thump upon the roof of the church building on the left side, then a hard knocking upon a flying buttress on that side of the building, then a falling down upon the apple
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trees on that side yard of the church, then the sound of a form hitting the ground. Right after that, the same thing happened on the right side of the building—there was a knocking upon the church roof and a knocking upon the flying buttress and a knocking on the apple trees of that side yard and a knocking upon the earth, all on the right this time.
Calling upon God, the two Christian soldiers drew their weapons, and they raced outside. Instinctively, Flanders ran to the one side; and Proffery, to the other side. Before Flanders lay beloved Bree, upon her side, quite killed. And Proffery saw his dear Zephyr upon her back, slain in battle.
The two girlfriends ran up to the men, and they hugged and wept. And a sinister voice called down from above, “Yet one day, and Second Advent Baptist Church shall fall down to the ground just as these two have I caused to fall down to the ground just now.”
Lo, the Baleful Griffin way up in the skies in his dread presence.
“Alas!” cried out Flanders. “There must be unconfessed sin in my life that has caused God to strike down my wonderful unicorn.”
Likewise Proffery cried up to Heaven, “What have I done to bring this upon this innocent griffin of mine, O Lord?”
With the wisdom of girlfriends-in-Christ, the pom pom girl and the cheerleader spoke God’s truth to them on this matter. Gretchen said, “Flanders, good and faithful Bree died to the glory of God. You have done nothing to provoke the Good Lord to take her away from you. I know it.”
And Destiny said, “And you, Proffery…this happened to Zephyr all because of the Devil. God is not judging you in your walk with Christ in letting her die on you like this. This is the way that I see it, boyfriend.”
“Is that the way it really is, Brother?” asked Proffery.
“Our girlfriends-in-the-Lord think so, Brother,” said Flanders.
“Then it must be so,” said Proffery.
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“The Lord has given, and He has taken away,” said Flanders in reverential humbleness.
“Thank you two for such words, Gretchen, Destiny,” said Proffery.
Now others were coming out of the church and out to the sides here where the four Christians were gathered around the two dead pets. Soon all of the flock were outside. Then Pastor and Emmy, stalwarts to the Sunday School hour inside, came out. The sight of such bloody and gored and crushed carcasses as these two pets out here now caused great unrest among the flock. They were not just a little dead. The Demon of Wisconsin made sure that they were very dead for the offense that they had caused him in that other battle. They of the flock did not yet see the Baleful Griffin who was now way up above.
“I know who did this to them,” said Pastor, knowing what Flanders and Proffery knew.
“What did this?” asked Emmy.
“I, milady,” called down the Baleful Griffin. And the demon swooped down to give them all a big scare.
And the flock all scattered from the church, except the four of the sand dunes and the pastor and his wife.
Flanders held his saber in the air, ready to strike. Proffery raised his crossbow at the demon griffin, ready to fire. The pom and dance girlfriend stood there in defiance at her boyfriend’s side, trusting God. The cheerleader girlfriend stood her ground, afraid, but not cowardly, her eyes on Jesus. Pastor held his King James Bible in the air at the great and terrible griffin. And Pastor’s wife Emmy spoke and called the Baleful Griffin “a bully.”
And the Baleful Griffin spoke and told the whole flock of this Second Advent Baptist Church once again what he had just said to the four of the sand dunes, “Yet one day, and your church will fall down dead just as Bree and Zephyr have fallen down dead.”
That meant tomorrow.
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Flanders held back his sword from cutting, and Proffery held back his finger on the trigger from firing. And the Demon of Wisconsin flew by right overhead and right on by. And he quickly disappeared off into the horizon. And he was gone for now. And the flock, with the exhortation from the pastor, chose not to panic. They all came walking back to be with the six who did not flee. They all now knew everything. And they all volunteered to help Flanders and Proffery to take on this Baleful Griffin in battle here at this church when the griffin demon would come back. But Flanders and Proffery knew that it was they alone Whom God willed to protect this church. And Flanders said, “We two Christian soldiers will fight for you. Tomorrow rest in your homes, read your Bibles in your yards, and pray for us throughout the day.”
And Proffery said, “Let Flanders and myself be your humble servants in battle tomorrow with sword and crossbow. You do not have to fight this battle. The Lord will fight our battle.”
Then, in an act of Christian love, they all volunteered to pitch in together to bury the men’s late pets in the church yard right now. And the two Christian warriors were moved to tears and words of thanksgiving to every one of them. And Bree they buried where she had fallen in battle on the one side of the church building, and Zephyr they buried where she had fallen in battle on the other side of the church building.
Then the Pastor and his wife gave the four born-again believers of the Good Havens a ride back home on their horse-driven carriage back to the sand dunes.
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CHAPTER XVIII
How had these four born-again believers of the Good Havens first gotten saved? These next two chapters shall tell all about this. In the narrative and in the dialogue you shall read four especial testimonies of salvation. First you shall read how Gretchen Liz Fables had become a born-again Christian:
Before she had found her pet and before she had found her boyfriend and before she had found her own pom and dance uniform Gretchen Fables found Christ as personal Saviour. Indeed it was a pom pom girl who had led her to Christ. This pom pom girl was a high school pom pom girl named “Krysten,” and she was dressed in sleek black and lustrous white and shiny silver. This outfit was a pom and dance girl dress with puffed shoulders and long sleeves with a loop at the end for the index finger and with a long zipper in the back and with a skirt portion that descended in “V” shape at the bottom.
The Fables family were in the high school gymnasium to watch a girls’ basketball game between De Pere and West De Pere. The varsity Redbird girls were taking on the varsity Phantom girls in a classic and long-time rivalry. The family was in the bleachers at the very top, their backs against
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the gymnasium wall; all had agreed to be way back here in order to get a high view of the game. The game had not yet started. The band, at the lowest part of the bleachers and off to the side, was playing good school music. Fans were coming in and filling up the bleachers to both sides. Girls’ basketball players were practicing on the court. Cheerleaders in black and orange and white were talking among themselves on the gym floor right in front of the first seat of the bleachers. They were all holding little black and white pom poms in their hands. And then little Gretchen saw a whole bunch of other girls who were holding pom poms in their hands. These pom poms were also white and black, but they were much larger. These pom poms not only hid these girls’ hands, but also hid their wrists. Gretchen wanted very much all of a sudden to hold one of these. As for this whole bunch of other girls, Gretchen did not know what they were. They were all sitting down upon the lowest bleacher. They held pom poms as cheerleaders did, but they seemed not to be cheerleaders. And their outfits looked so wonderful to have on that Gretchen wanted to touch them to see what they felt like. She wanted to get closer to these girls dressed so novel. And Gretchen got up and climbed down the bleachers from the highest bleacher down to the second lowest bleacher and did sit down right behind one of the “bunch of the other girls” who looked pretty to her. Gretchen looked upon the long zipper that ran all the way down this girl’s back in black. Gretchen looked down upon the skirt portion that extended behind this girl beyond the bleacher and right near to Gretchen’s feet; it was black with silver spangles along its hem. Gretchen looked upon the puffed shoulders all fancy and bright white right in front of her. Curious and driven by impulse, little Gretchen reached out her right hand from behind this high school girl and did put her right hand upon this girl’s right shoulder. This girl turned around and looked upon curious little Gretchen. And this girl smiled upon Gretchen, and she said, “Hi, there, little girl.”
“Hi,” said Gretchen, a little shy with this fair young woman.
“I can tell that you like what I have on,” said this young woman.
“I do like it,” said Gretchen. “But what is it?”
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“It is our new West De Pere Phantom pom and dance uniform,” said the young lady.
“It looks like a dress,” said Gretchen.
“It is,” said the young woman.
“Does that mean that you are a pom and dance woman?” asked Gretchen.
“Uh huh,” she said to Gretchen, with a nod of her head.
“You look like a cheerleader, but you are not a cheerleader,” said Gretchen.
“Cheerleaders cheer our team on. We pom pom girls dance for our team,” said the young lady.
“I like your poms,” said Gretchen.
“I love them,” said the high school girl.
“Oh, would you let me hold one of them?” asked Gretchen in entreaty.
“I would be glad to let you hold both of them,” said the pom and dance woman.
And the high school lady held out her two large pom poms toward Gretchen. Young Gretchen took them both and held them inexpertly flat upon her palms. “Where do I grab a hold of these so that I can hold them like you hold them?” asked Gretchen.
“Inside them both you will feel a little plastic handle,” said the pom pom woman. “Just put your fingers and thumb around them. Hold them tight. Then shake them, if you wish.”
“Oh, I’d like that very much,” said Gretchen. And she found the little handles, held them in her four fingers and her thumb, paused, took a deep breath; and then she shook these pom poms in both hands. “Wooo!” said Gretchen.
“That’s fun. Isn’t it?” asked the young lady.
“It is,” said Gretchen. “I love the sound they make, too,” Gretchen shook them again, taking in the feel of the pom poms in her hands and admiring what they looked like before her eyes and savoring the sound they made upon her ears.
“Someday you might be a pom and dance girl yourself when you grow up,” said this pom pom
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girl.
“I could shake one of these. I could wear what you have on. I could dance before a bleacher full of fans,” said Gretchen Fables.
“What’s your name, little girl?” asked this pom and dance girl.
“My name is ‘Gretchen,’” said Miss Fables.
“My name is ‘Krysten,’” said the pom pom girl.
“Glad to meet you, Krysten,” said Gretchen.
“And I am glad to meet you, too, Gretchen,” said Krysten.
“You must be happy, getting to be a pom pom girl like you are,” said Gretchen Fables.
“I am happy, because I am born again,” said Krysten.
“You’re born again?” asked Gretchen.
“Yep!” said Krysten most readily.
“What does that mean, Krysten?” asked Gretchen.
“It means that I have the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour,” said Krysten.
“That sounds like a very good thing,” said Gretchen.
“It is even better than being a pom and dance girl, Gretchen,” said Krysten.
“It is?” asked Gretchen.
“For sure, Gretchen,” said Krysten.
“How does a girl go about and get herself born again?” asked Gretchen.
“Just ask God to save you from your sins, and He will save you from your sins,” said Krysten.
“What happens if God saves me from my sins, Krysten?” asked Gretchen.
“If you ask God to save you, then you get to go to Heaven when you die, Gretchen,” said Krysten.
“Heaven is the Good Place. Isn’t it?” asked Gretchen.
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“Oh, it is. It is, for sure,” said Krysten.
“But then what happens if I never ask God to save me from my sins?” asked Gretchen.
“If you were to die in your sins, then you will have to go to Hell when you die,” said Krysten. “That is the bad place. Isn’t it?” asked Gretchen.
“The real bad place,” said Krysten.
“I want to go to the Good Place,” said Gretchen. “I do not want to go to the bad place.”
“Would you like to pray along with me so that you can get born again as I am, Gretchen?” asked Krysten.
“Why, that I would,” said Gretchen. “What does a girl like me say to God in order to get saved?”
“Just repeat after me line-by-line and mean it from your heart, and then you will be saved,” said Krysten.
“I’ll do that!” said Gretchen. “Let’s do that.” Gretchen climbed down one bleacher to join Krysten on her bleacher.
And Gretchen Fables put down the big pom poms upon the bleachers to her one side and turned to the pom pom girl believer to her other side, and awaited this Christian girl’s words of prayer.
And Krysten began to lead Miss Fables the elder through the sinners’ prayer: “Dear Father in Heaven:”
“Dear Father in Heaven,” repeated Gretchen.
“I am a bad girl,” said Krysten.
“I am a bad girl,” said Gretchen.
“And that is all my own fault,” said Krysten.
“And that is all my own fault,” said Gretchen.
“But now I want to become more like You,” said Krysten.
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“But now I want to become more like You,” said Gretchen.
“I believe that Your only begotten Son bled and died for me on purpose on the cross,” said Krysten.
“I believe that Your only begotten Son bled and died for me on purpose on the cross,” said Gretchen.
“And I believe that this same Christ Jesus the Lord came back to life on the third day,” said Krysten.
“And I believe that this same Christ Jesus the Lord came back to life on the third day,” said Gretchen Fables.
“Please forgive me of my sins. Take them all away. Clean me up from them,” said Krysten.
“Please forgive me of my sins. Take them all away. Clean me up from them,” said Miss Fables the elder.
“I ask You now to become my Saviour,” said Krysten.
“I ask You now to become my Saviour,” said Gretchen.
“And build me a mansion waiting for me in Heaven,” said Krysten.
“And build me a mansion waiting for me in Heaven,” said Gretchen.
“In Jesus’s name I pray for this,” said the big girl.
“In Jesus’s name I pray for this,” said the little girl.
“Amen,” said the soul-winner.
“Amen,” said the newly won soul.
The two looked up from their prayer. “Congratulations, Gretchen. You have just now become born again into the family of God,” said the pom and dance girl.
“I shall never have to go to Hell anymore. Will I?” asked Gretchen.
“You need never worry anymore about going to Hell. And that’s because you are now a
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Christian,” said Krysten. “Once saved, always saved.”
This was how Gretchen Liz Fables had become a born-again believer in Christ.
How did her little twin sister find Christ as Saviour? The following words of chapter shall serve as the testimony of the salvation of Destiny Jean Fables:
The Fables twins, being identical twins, indeed had a chemistry and a bond that they both shared for each other far beyond being just sisters. They shared many things in common in this life, and they shared many things in common in their days of salvation. Like her big sister, Destiny found the Lord before she had found her pet and her boyfriend and her cheerleader uniform. And they both got saved at the same age. And the twin who was led to salvation by a pom and dance girl, as you now know, was someday to become a pom and dance girl herself. And Destiny, herself, was led to salvation by a cheerleader, and, as you know, she herself was destined to be a cheerleader as well.
It happened for Destiny at De Pere’s Memorial Day Parade abounding in veterans and marching bands and school cheerleaders. Destiny found for her family there with her the perfect place from which to watch this parade go by. It was at the southeast corner of the intersection of South Broadway Street and George Street. South of where they were all standing and waiting was South Broadway Street that led out of town and on into a highway into the countryside. West of where they were standing was the old two-lane Claude-Allouez Bridge, which went over the Fox River on into west De Pere and Main Avenue. North of where they were standing was North Broadway Street which turned into Riverside Avenue and on farther to Green Bay. And east of where they were standing was George Street that ended up at Webster Avenue. The parade would soon be coming here from west De Pere to east De Pere by way of this bridge. And right here at this intersection the parade would turn in front of them and go north up to Voyageur Park off to the side a block from the main road and there finish up.
“It’s taking forever,” complained Gretchen. “When is it going to come?”
“I think that I can hear it now,” said Destiny. And the family did not have long to wait before
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they could see it coming on the bridge toward them. “I can see it now!” said Destiny.
Dad looked for the Vietnam veterans. Mom looked for the horses. Big Sister looked for the candy. And Destiny looked for the fire trucks. And the cheerleaders came along. They followed the De Pere High School marching band. There was a whole big group of them. They were the Redbird varsity football cheerleaders. And they were clad in maroon and white and some blue. Destiny had read some about cheerleaders and their fashions from a book in the library. And she pointed to the high school cheerleaders and said to her big sister, “See those cheerleader sweaters, Gretchen? Their irregular patterns are called ‘asymmetrical patterns.’ See those letters that are sewn in upon the sweaters? Those are called ‘chenille emblems.’” Then Destiny asked, “See those cheerleader skirts, Big Sister? See that maroon section of the skirt that goes partway down the front? That’s called ‘a yoke.’ Look at all of those narrow pleats! They each are made by forming two folded edges, one facing right and the other facing left. They called those ‘box pleats.’ The white ones on the outside are called ‘main pleats.’ And the maroon ones on the inside are called ‘contrasting pleats.’ Someday I will look like one of them, Big Sister.”
“You mean like a pleat?” teased Gretchen.
“I mean like a cheerleader, goof,” said Destiny.
“You have to wait till you grow up,” said Gretchen.
“Or until I can become a big girl,” said Destiny.
The Fables twins paused to admire this group of cheerleaders going by, hopping and skipping and chanting and cheering about. A certain cheerleader of this bunch saw Destiny looking at her, and she looked back at Destiny and waved, and Destiny waved back. Then the cheerleader group went on by and past.
“I saw that, Little Sister,” said Gretchen. “What do you think that that was all about?”
“I wanted to make sure that that cheerleader knew that she had a fan in myself,” said Destiny.
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“How come that one?” asked Gretchen.
“There was something about her that made her seem more special even than what she looked like,” said Destiny.
“She was a pretty cheerleader for being an older girl than ourselves,” said Gretchen.
Destiny went on to say, “She was the one at the end of that cheerleader group. Oh, I wish that she would come back.”
“Now you’re the goof, Little Sister,” said Gretchen. “What makes you wish for that cheerleader top come back just for you?
“I could see God in her the way she walked and cheered,” said Destiny. “I just wish that she would make a special trip back here just to see me and talk to me,” said Destiny.
“She’s gone now,” said Gretchen. “What would you have to talk to her about?”
“The Good Lord,” said Destiny.
“I talk to you about the Good Lord all the time,” said Gretchen.
“I know. You got saved just not too long ago,” said Destiny.
“You would listen to a cheerleader tell you about the Saviour when you do not listen to your big sister tell you about the Saviour?” asked Gretchen.
“My big sister is not a cheerleader,” said Destiny.
Spontaneous, Gretchen prayed out loud and said, “Lord, please bring back this mysterious cheerleader back to my little sister so that she can hear more about the Lord Jesus for the good of her soul.”
“Big Sister, that’s not going to work,” said Destiny, manifestly lost yet in her sins.
Behold, along came this mysterious cheerleader back to where the family was standing. She had come back alone. She stopped right in front of Destiny. She said, “Hi, there, pretty girl.” And she gave her a little booklet.
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Holding the precious little booklet in both hands, Destiny answered back and said, “Hi, pretty cheerleader.”
“Call me ‘Tara,’” said this cheerleader sent from God.
On her cheerleader sweater was a chenille emblem that read, “Tara P.”
“Hi, Tara,” said the younger Fables twin.
“God sent me back here for you, little girl,” said Tara.
Gretchen urged her little sister, “Speak up and tell her your name.”
And Miss Fables the younger said, “You can call me ‘Destiny,’”
“Destiny, do you know God?” asked Tara P.
“No. But my big sister here knows all about God,” said Destiny Fables.
“You need to get to know all about God, too, Destiny,” said Tara P.
“Big Sister has been telling me the same thing ever since she found Jesus just a few months ago,” said the younger of the twin sisters.
“She’s right,” said Tara.
“I’m beginning to think that now,” said Destiny.
“I gave you a good little booklet,” said Tara P. “We Christians call them ‘salvation tracts.’”
“I promise to read it, Tara,” said the younger Fables twins.
“Promise me instead that you will allow me to tell you personally all about what it says, O Destiny,” urged the cheerleader Tara.
“Right here and right now?” asked Destiny.
Gretchen spoke up and said, “Remember what you said to me, Destiny—how this cheerleader was the one with Whom you wanted to talk about the Lord.”
“You said that about me?” asked Tara P.
“Yeah. I said that,” said Destiny Fables.
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“And, Little Sister, you told me that she walks and cheers like God,” said Gretchen.
“You said that about me, also?” asked Tara P.
“Yeah. I did, Tara,” said Destiny.
“You make me feel special, Destiny,” said Tara P.
“There. I’m ready. Tell me about Jesus,” said Miss Fables the younger.
“What do you think comes after this life, Destiny?” asked Tara P.
“Death,” said Destiny.
“What do you think comes after death?” asked Tara the high school cheerleader.
“Nothing,” said Destiny.
“Nothing comes after death, Destiny?” asked Tara P.
“Well, six feet under comes after death,” said Destiny in sincerity.
“That’s true for animals. But it is not true for people,” said Tara.
“Isn’t death the end of life, Tara?” asked Destiny.
“No, death is the beginning of eternity for each and all of us people,” said Tara P.
“In science class my teacher says that death is when the heart stops beating,” said Destiny.
“My God tells me that death is when the soul leaves the body,” said the wise cheerleader.
“Is that true?” asked Destiny.
“Let me tell you how the Bible says the same thing,” said Tara P. “In the book of I Kings, the great prophet Elijah, calling upon the God of miracles, resurrected the dead son of the widow woman of Zarephath. In I kings 17:21-22, it is written about Elijah, ‘And he stretched himself upon the child three times, and cried unto the Lord, and said, O Lord my God, I pray thee, let this child’s soul come into him again. And the Lord heard the voice of Elijah; and the soul of the child came into him again, and he revived.’”
“This boy,” said Miss Fables the younger, ruminating out loud, “he was dead; then his soul
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came into him again; then he was alive.”
“Yes,” said the cheerleader witness warrior.
“Does every person have a soul?” asked Destiny.
“Yes,” said Tara P.
“Do I have a soul?” asked the younger Miss Fables.
“Yes,” said Tara.
“Then as long as my soul is inside my body, then I am still alive,” said Destiny.
“Indeed your soul is worth more than all of the wealth of the world,” said Tara P.
“More than all the money that Jay Paul Getty had?” asked Destiny.
“It is written in Mark 8:36-37, ‘For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?’” recited the wise high school cheerleader. “Again it is written in Luke 9:25, ‘For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?’”
“Tara, if my soul does leave my body someday, and I do die that way, do you think that I might end up in Hell?” asked Destiny Fables.
The parade cheerleader went on to say, “That is where most people go when they die. Only a few people go to Heaven when they die.”
“How come?” asked Destiny.
“Because they reject Christ as Saviour all the way through their lives even unto their dying breath,” said the Christian cheerleader.
“How can I accept Christ as Saviour right now before I die and it is too late for me?” asked Destiny with the saving faith of a little child.
“Only believe; only pray,” said the cheerleader of God.
“How do I do that?” asked Miss Fables the younger.
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“First, believe that you are a sinner who cannot save herself. Second, believe that Christ died for your sins and rose again the third day. Third, call upon Jesus and ask Him to save your soul,” summarized Tara P. the simple plan of salvation.
“I need to do that right now, O Tara,” cried out Destiny in good and holy fear of God.
“Just repeat after me the prayer I say out loud, line-by-line, and you will have found Christ as your personal Saviour,” said the high school cheerleader daughter of God.
“I’m all ready for Jesus,” said Destiny Fables.
And the following was the sinners’ prayer that Tara P. did lead Destiny through here in the midst of a loud parade going by right in front of them: “Dear Father in Heaven: I sin and do bad things and do not do good things. Because of that I have to go to Hell for forever. But Your Son Jesus wants the best for a girl like myself. He wants me to go to Heaven to be with Him for forever. And He willingly gave up his body to the cross of Calvary to shed His blood and to die for me and for my soul. And three days later He arose! And He lives today. A living Saviour saves souls. I am sorry for all of my sins. I ask You to forgive me for all of them. And I ask You to help me to repent of them for the rest of my life. I now come to You, Lord Jesus, and ask You to now become my own personal Saviour and to give me everlasting life in Heaven. I trust You alone. Thank You, Christ. In Your name I pray. Amen.”
Destiny looked up. Things were suddenly quieting down. Gretchen said, “Look, the parade is all done now, Little Sister.”
“I just got saved, Big Sister!” exclaimed Destiny.
“Really?” asked Gretchen in joy and rejoicing.
“Really!” said Destiny. And the girls hugged long and hard.
“I promise to read this salvation tract when I get home, Tara P,,” said Destiny.
“It will give you assurance of your salvation,” said Tara P.
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“Thank you, Tara!” sang out Miss Fables the younger twin in joy.
“Thank you, good cheerleader of God,” said Miss Fables the elder twin in gladness.
This was how Destiny Jean Fables had become a born-again believer.
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CHAPTER XIX
In this chapter I shall write all about how the two Christian soldiers—Flanders and Proffery—had each gotten saved at an early age. The testimony of Flanders’s salvation I shall narrate first.
In sum, Flanders, a boy who dreamed of a money tree, woke up and sought and found Christ as Saviour.
It all started when Flanders asked Mom and Dad, “Could we have a pool table in our family down the basement?”
The basement, a nice and cozy remodeled basement with paneling and gold-colored carpet and comfortable furniture, had room for a pool table right when one took a turn from the bottom of the stairs.
To this, Mom told him, “A pool table is not free.”
And Dad said, “Money does not grow on trees.”
Seeing this pool table not coming were Mom and Dad to have their way, that night little Flanders knelt beside his bed and prayed to God that He give him a pool table for the family. Keep in mind, Flanders was not yet born again at that time; and that meant that God could not hear his prayer.
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The only prayers of those not born again that God hears are those asking that themselves become born again. That is, only the sinners’ prayer does God hear from the unsaved who do pray. But God did act on this covetous prayer to the glory of little Flanders’s soul not long later. And Flanders had a dream in the night the very night of his petition for a pool table:
He found himself in a strange new countryside and walking down the end of a two-rutted road. And before him at this rustic road’s end were two big trees—one to the left of the road and the other to the right of the road. The one to the left stole his heart at once—why there was cash growing on this tree where leaves should have been! The one to the right offended his heart right away—there were little wooden crosses throughout its many branches. Flanders went right up to the tree full of cash and said to himself in awe and great wonder, “Whoa!” This was a money tree! Quickly he reached up to its lowest branch, not far above his head, and he picked a money from this money tree. Behold a one-dollar bill! He picked another cash from this lowest branch just above his head, and this also was a one-dollar bill. He picked again from this lowest branch and did find it to also be a one-dollar bill. Something told him to climb higher. So he climbed up this money tree to get at a higher branch now.
He picked a cash from this next higher branch now, and, lo, a five-dollar bill this time. He did this again with this same branch, and he discovered another five-dollar bill. He was figuring out this money tree. He climbed to the next higher branch of this money tree, and reached out for the cash on this branch, and this time it was a ten-dollar bill. He understood this money tree: the higher he reached on this money tree, the bigger the denomination he would get. He quickly went on to climb up this money tree, grabbing bigger and bigger bills and filling his pockets to overflowing. And when he got to the top of this money tree, he picked from this highest branch, and behold, a ten-thousand-dollar bill with a picture of Salmon P. Chase upon it. It was there in his very hands! He could see it. He could feel it. He could spend it. And there were more of these along these uppermost branches of this money tree.
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Just then he heard a scurrying of many little feet upon the ground way below. He looked down through the branches and thought to see a group of little elf girls with their ears that pointed outward as elf girls’ ears do. They were dressed in bright colors. And they were giggling in mischief. What were they doing down there? It was still bright sunny daylight here for Flanders in this money tree, but he thought that he could see the fire of a torch held by one of these elf girls. He stared down upon them. It looked like the flame of the torch was put right up against the bottom of the trunk of this money tree that he was in way up here at this top. Lo, he saw the fire become big down around the trunk, and he smelled smoke, and the elf girls scampered away like little devils. The boy Flanders was now stuck in a money tree that was set on fire! The money was all going to be burned up. The money tree would never bear cash again. And his life was in danger. He quickly jumped from branch down to branch till he was close to the ground. And then he leaped down to the safe earth once again and out of the burning money tree. He was lucky that he did not get burned. He was even luckier than he did not die. But the cash that he had grabbed and stuffed in his pockets was still mostly there yet. He backpedaled from this money tree, watched in mortification at what was happening to his especial tree of cash, and cried out, “Alas! Alas!” And before too long, the money tree was no more than a stump. He sought then to pull out his ten-thousand-dollar bill from his shirt pocket. It was not there! He quickly checked his pants pockets. Nothing was in them now! He patted all of his pockets with his open hands to hope to feel the thickness of the wads that he had put there from the money tree. Nothing was left! “Woe!
Woe! Woe!” lamented the boy Flanders.
Then he turned to the tree that had offended him. He saw lots of little wooden crosses upon this big tall tree. A still small voice said to him, “Behold a tree of life!” He came up to it, lost without his money, and he pulled one of these crosses off of its branch right by his head. There was a holy word engraved on it, and it said “Alleluia.” He thought to throw it aside like a core of an eaten apple. But he felt that he ought to respect this word of God. He instead set it down upon the ground, glad to get it
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off of his hands. Flanders did not care for this tree. But this boy had a child’s curiosity. And he looked for another cross to pull off of this tree’s branches. But there were no more crosses on this branch. He looked up higher into this tree of life, and he saw another cross hanging down from a branch above his reach. He had to climb this tree just one branch to get at this cross and see what it might say. And this Flanders did. And he pulled off this cross and read it: it read, “Hallelujah.” Ouch, another holy word! He thought to let this fall several feet to the ground. But again he reconsidered. And he put it in his back pants pocket, reluctantly. Then he climbed up to another branch, this one, of course, a little higher. And he picked another wooden cross from the branch, and he read the word, “Hosanna.” Without offense, he put this one in his other back pants pocket. He climbed higher, picked another cross, and read the word, “Immanuel.” He eagerly put this one in his shirt pocket. Climbing higher, he picked one cross that read, “Emmanuel.” He put this one in his other shirt pocket. Then he climbed to the top of this tree of life, picked the highest cross on this highest branch, and did read the word, “Amen.” He put this one in his front pants pocket. Then the elf girls came back with their torch.
Looking down he saw them holding the torch upon the ground where he had deposited that first cross that he had picked from this tree. He could not see clearly through the branches from up here to down to there. But he could hear the squawking of dismay among the female elves. Then he heard a voice from one of them cry out, “Why cannot we set fire to this little bitty cross?” Then he thought that he could see them holding their torch now to the trunk of this tree of life of which he was stranded at the top. He thought at once to scramble down to the bottom and leap off of this tree in the nick of time as he had done with that money tree. But then he heard one elf say, “Let’s set fire to the young lad who is up there, watching us.” And then he heard from down there below a consensus of hissing in the affirmative. And he heard a still small voice say to him, “Flanders, Flanders, stay up here where you are in my tree until the fulness of time.” This was God. He obeyed the God Whom he knew not. Then he could see the elf women hold the torch to the base of this tree of God. For a long time this torch and
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its fire was held up against the trunk of this tree. Flanders did not see any blaze come upon this tree.
He did not smell any smoke. And he heard a flurry of maledictions among the girl elves. And he heard distinctly one of them speak and say, “Why can’t we set fire to this tree?” It sounded like the same elf girl who had spoken thus about the cross lying upon the ground. Then one of them spoke and said, “I’ve got the torch. Maybe I can set fire to the little boy up there.” But once again, the elf woman who had asked why the cross and the tree could not be set on fire spoke again, with an authority over them; and she said, “If we cannot set the cross on the ground on fire, and we cannot set the tree growing up out of the ground on fire, then we cannot set the urchin at the top of the tree on fire.” There was a groaning of disagreement among the band of girl elves down there. But God kept little Flanders safe.
And the elf women began to disband. And soon, they were all gone, torch and all. And Flanders understood that now it was safe for him to climb down out of the tree. He had come to like this tree a lot. And he did not want to leave it. But God told him to go away from this tree now that it was safe to climb down it. And that he did. And as soon as he leaped off of the lowest branch and landed upon the ground, he picked up that first cross of this tree from off the ground and did put that into his other front pants pocket.
Just then Flanders found himself in bed in his bedroom in the light of sunrise. The money tree and the tree of crosses had been just a dream. But one thing for sure he now knew about himself was that he needed to get to know those words most personally–”Alleluia,” “Hallelujah,” “Hosanna,” “Immanuel,” “Emmanuel,” and “Amen.” In other words, he needed to seek and to find God. He thought to check his pockets in hopes of finding those crosses still in them. But he found that he was in his pajamas. Of course, it was a dream. He then took off his pajamas and put on his regular clothes for the day. And as he did so, he checked those six pockets for any vestige of the dream to come back to the waking world. But the six pockets were empty. He was quickly forgetting that tree of life, but he was also quickly remembering that money tree.
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Then little Flanders, daydreaming of much big fat cash, felt a folded-up piece of paper that he had forgotten about in his watch pocket. Why, this was that page from a devotional booklet that he had found upon a rack of free literature at the library down the road. It had a picture of silver dollars and half-dollars upon it, and that had grabbed Flanders’s attention. He remembered having taken that free devotional book, scanning through it, seeing the picture of the big coins, tearing out this page with the big coins, and folding it up and putting it into his watch pocket. Now he would read it. He pulled it out of his fifth pants pocket, unfolded it, and read it. Therein he read about what God’s Word had to say about the sin of the money tree that he had so coveted in his dream and right now after the dream. He read I Timothy 6:9-10, where it is written, “But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” This devotional page went on to say that money itself was not the root of all evil, but rather that the love of money was the root of all evil. It told how money could be used for many good things—most notably for the spread of the Gospel to a lost and dying world. Then this page told what the Gospel was: that it was the death, burial, and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, the Saviour of the world. Those who had this Gospel in their hearts were the born-again Christians in the world. They were the ones who had come to God and accepted His free gift of eternal life in His only begotten Son Jesus. These were the ones who get to go to Heaven when they die. As for those who had not this Gospel in their hearts, they were the unbelievers in the world. They were the lost, the unsaved, the ones who willingly rejected God and His free gift of everlasting life in Jesus. These were the ones who had to go to Hell when they died.
Flanders had a long talk with God right now in his first prayer of any length. He pondered his dream of this morning. That money tree, that looked to be the answer to life to Flanders, God had let burn to the ground. But that tree of life, that at first offended Flanders but later convicted Flanders,
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ended up endearing itself to Flanders; God ended up keeping this tree from being burned to the ground by way of Holy Spirit protection. He had loved money more than he had loved Jesus. He had made a god out of money thereby. That made him an idolater. And idolaters could not go to Heaven. In fact everything that he had or that he wanted was more important to him than was Jesus. Everything was a false god to this young Flanders. Did not he need desperately and quickly get to know the true God personally in order to get to Heaven? Surely anyone like himself who did not know God except just a little in his head was going to Hell. Flanders now understood that he had to seek Jesus with his heart. Jesus had to become more important to him than money. He needed to love Jesus with all of his heart and all of his soul and all of his mind and all of his strength. In short he needed to ask Jesus to become his Saviour from sin and the Devil and Hell. And that he did right there. Spreading out this page of devotional upon his bed, he knelt beside his bed in this light of mid-morning, and he prayed and asked the Lord to save his soul. And the Lord heard him. And the Lord answered his prayer. And the Lord saved him.
This was how Flanders Arckery Nickels had become a born-again believer. And God did bless him with a new pool table in the family. And he enjoyed many games of pool down in the basement. But at once he did learn to love his Saviour first of all and to love worshiping his Saviour most of all.
And he gave tithes and offerings to the workers of the Lord out there on the mission fields.
How did Proffery Coins find so great salvation upon himself? The following pages give the testimony of how he had become a born-again Christian also at a very early age of childhood:
It happened one day for Proffery at the Milwaukee County Zoo with his whole family. They saw the famous gorilla named “Samson” that was there for many years. And they saw the famous white Bengal tiger called “Chandar” who was also a favorite at this zoo. Here this day did young Proffery fall upon a love for all animals. Big Sister said, “Let’s go to the aviary! Let’s go to the aviary!” And Proffery and the family went to the aviary, and Proffery discovered a love for exotic
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birds.
Mom said, “Let’s go see the snakes,” and the family went to see the snakes, and Proffery fell in love with snakes.
Dad said, “Let’s go and take a look at the monkeys,” and they went to look at the monkeys, and Proffery discovered monkeys in his heart.
Big Brother said, “Let’s go and see some giraffes,” and they saw the giraffes, and Proffery found a keen wonder upon giraffes.
Little Sister said, “Can we go and see zebras?” And the family went to see the zebras. And Proffery found a grand novelty in zebras.
Little Brother said, “I want to see some bears.” And when the family saw the bears, Proffery learned to greatly admire bears.
Then Mom asked, “What about you, Proffery? Is there any animal that you would like to see?”
Proffery thought for a while, and he said, “We saw tigers and bears, but we did not see any lions. Could we go and take a look at the lions?”
And Dad said, “Let us go to the lions.” And they went to see the lions. Behold, a whole lion family of five sitting upon the rocks by a little pond. Proffery saw a dad lion with his full mane, and a mom lion with no mane at all, and three little lion cubs yet young in their lives and yet very small.
Proffery stood there and stared upon the adult male lion in utmost marvel. “What are you thinking, Little Brother?” asked Big Sister.
“I am thinking that this dad lion is my favorite animal of this whole zoo,” said Proffery.
“Watch out. He’ll get you,” said Big Brother in tease.
“I am thinking about something else now, too,” said Proffery.
“What?” asked Little Brother.
“I was thinking about going up to pet him,” said Proffery, knowing that that he would never do.
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“That’s impossible,” said Little Sister.
Then in a facetious tone, Proffery said, “I am going to go up to that big mean lion and grabbing his mane and giving it a good tug.”
From behind him, Proffery and this whole family heard a stranger’s voice say to Proffery, “Young man, someday you may do just exactly that.”
Proffery turned to see this strange man who said what he said, and he saw a hoary old man with the wisdom of truth exuding from his countenance. He looked like a wizard, except with goodness and not evil in his eyes. This wise man was leaning upon a staff. And he dressed much like young Proffery –A Jiffy hat and a long-sleeved plaid shirt and blue jeans and penny loafers and no socks.
Then Big Sister asked, “Can we go to the aviary again, Mom?”
And Mom said, “Ask your father.”
And Big Sister asked, “Can we go to the aviary again, Dad?”
And Dad said, “We can go to the aviary again.”
Proffery and the old wise man looked one another in the eyes, and Proffery asked, “Dad, may I stay behind to talk to this man?”
Dad said, “Ask your mother.”
And Proffery asked, “Mom, may I stay here and talk to this man?”
And Mom said, “You may.”
And the rest of the family left to go back to see the birds, and Proffery got to stay here with this sage and ask him about lions and about what he had said about lions. At once Proffery asked, “Is it true, O sir, that I can pet lions and tug on their manes?”
“Thus it will be in the Thousand-Year-Reign of Christ for the saints, my son,” said the sagacious
and good fellow.
“But how can such be, that lions can become tame?” asked Proffery Coins.
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“Because the Good Lord Jesus will make it so, my son,” said the man. “He will come back in His Second Coming and put down all evil and sin and make Earth a Paradise like Heaven. And you will be able to pet the lions and tug on their manes, and they will not bite you nor maul you, because the curse of sin will be taken away from nature and creation.”
“And all of that is for a thousand years?” asked Proffery.
“And after that it gets better for the saint,” said the savant.
“Are such good things written in the Bible, sir?” asked Proffery, seeking truth.
“It is written about this taming of wild lions, my son, ‘The wolf and the lamb shall feed together, and the lion shall eat straw like the bullock, and dust shall be the serpent’s meat. They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain, saith the Lord.’ Isaiah 65:25,” said the kind sage.
“The lion shall eat straw like the bullock,” said Proffery, believing this eschatology.
“My son, again it is written, ‘The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together, and a little child shall lead them. And the cow and the bear shall feed; their young ones shall lie down together; and the lion shall eat straw like the ox. And the sucking child shall play on the hole of the asp, and the weaned child shall put his hand on the cockatrice’ den. They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain: for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea.’ Isaiah 11:6-9,” recited this hoary man of wisdom.
“The lion shall eat straw like the ox,” said Proffery. “Sir, I believe.”
Just then the patriarch lion gave forth a roar that made Proffery jump. The wise man asked, “Do you still believe, son?”
“I do, O old sir,” said little Proffery. He and the lion looked one another in the eye. The father lion roared again, and Proffery said, “I love you, big lion.” And he sought to proffer his hand out beyond the cast iron fence to the roaring lion.
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“My son, do not yet do so foolishly,” warned the sagacious man. “These times are not yet the times of the tame lions. That is for a time soon to come.” Proffery drew back his hand.
“How do I get to go to that time soon to come, O sir?” asked Proffery.
“You first must be a born-again Christian,” said this sage of Scriptures.
“What must I do to become a born-again Christian?” asked Proffery.
“Only believe in the Lord Jesus Christ,” preached this wise man.
“Then I can go to this time that is soon to come and play with all of the lions?” asked Proffery.
“Foolish boy,” rebuked this man of God, “hear my words of God and take heed.” Understanding that he had sinned in what he had just said, but not sure what the sin was, Proffery gave this man from God all of his attention. And the man from God said, “It is written, ‘Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen,’ Romans 1:25.”
In comprehension, young Proffery said, “I fell in love with a creature of a lion and not in love with the Creator of this lion.”
“This lion did not die for our sins. But the Creator, the Lion of the tribe of Juda, did die for our sins,” explained this good man.
“I heard of how Jesus died for our sins and rose again,” said Proffery.
“He is the Saviour of the world, my son,” said the sage.
“Are the Saviour of the world and the Creator of the world the same God?” asked Proffery.
“Indeed, good son,” said the wise man. “No man said that to you; God said that to you.”
“I believe God,” said Proffery.
“About so great salvation, God the Father planned it for mankind and for you,” said the old sage.
“I believe God the Father,” said little Proffery in truth.
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“About this same so great salvation, God the Son purchased it for mankind and for you,” said the man of God.
“I believe God the Son, too,” declared Proffery in sincerity.
“About so free salvation again, God the Holy Spirit protects it for mankind and for you,” said the wise old man.
“And I also believe God the Holy Spirit,” proclaimed Proffery in discernment.
“Do you want to enjoy the Millennial Reign for the playing with the lions, my son?” asked the old sage in testing.
“Yes. But now I think that I want to be in this Millennial Reign to worship the Saviour of the world more so,” said little Proffery.
“Very well said, my good and honest son,” said the hoary old man of wisdom.
“So. What do I need to do? You said that if I come to believe in Christ, then I am a born-again Christian,” said little Proffery.
“Becoming a believer is the first thing,” he said. “Then in the fullness of times, God will rapture you right up to Heaven along with all of the other born again believers in the world. Then you will be in Heaven when the Earth is going through its seven years of tribulation in its global calamity. Then you and the other Christians will come back to Earth with Christ on white horses in Christ’s Second Advent. This Jesus, upon His Second Coming, will clean up the Earth from all temptation and transgression and Devil’s work. Then this same Jesus will rule and reign for a thousand years upon His throne in Jerusalem in a world of tame lions and righteous people, a millennium where Earth will be much like Heaven. You and all of the other saints will be in a glorified earth as good as it was when it was once the Garden of Eden. And after that, time comes to an end, and eternity officially begins. God will make a new Heaven and a new Earth where no sin has ever been, can be, or shall ever be—and that shall be for forever and ever,” preached this man of much wisdom prophecy of the book of
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Revelation.
“When I get There and see my Saviour upon His throne, I will want to fall down upon my knees before Him and thank Him for forever,” exclaimed little Proffery, his boy’s heart acquiring the good fear of the Lord.
“Well said, my good son,” said the man of God. “That is exactly how a saint is supposed to worship the Lord in Heaven.”
“”But I am no saint,” said Proffery.
“A ‘saint’ is another word for a ‘believer,’” said the wise man.
‘Then is a ‘believer’ another word for a ‘born-again believer?” asked Proffery.
“It is, O seeking son,” said the man.
“Help me to become a saint with the bright future that you said all saints have after conversion,” said little Proffery.
And the wise man sent from God led little Proffery Coins to salvation by way of the sinners’ prayer, guiding him line-by-line in repetition, from the salutation to God the Father and through the accepting of the free gift of eternal life and to the closing in Jesus’s name and the final word “Amen.”
This was how Proffery Rule Coins had become a born-again Christian many years ago. He at once loved his Saviour first of all. And he had gone on to never leave this first love that he had found in Jesus.
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CHAPTER XX
Flanders and Proffery stood there on guard and ready for battle in the middle of the sand dunes.
They were at the very midpoint of this giant sand dunes with each of the four cabins around these Good Havens half a mile away. Their backs were up against each other, they were watching the skies and waiting, and they had their weapons drawn. “This is the one hundredth day, Brother Flanders,” said Proffery.
“The Baneful Unicorn is coming soon anytime now,” said Flanders.
“God said that no blood must be shed upon our Good Havens,” said Proffery.
“I pray that God forgive us,” said Flanders.
“The Demon of Upper Michigan forces his hand to violate that commandment,” said Proffery.
“God is an understanding God,” said Flanders.
“I wonder how our girlfriends are doing,” said Proffery.
“They are in the North Cabin together in prayer meeting for us and for our Good Havens,” said Flanders.
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“I’m a little nervous,” said Proffery.
“So am I, Brother,” said Flanders.
“But I am ready, though,” said Proffery.
“I have been ready ever since that demon unicorn threatened us our Good Havens,” said Flanders.
“Brother,” said Proffery.
“Yes?” asked Flanders.
“I think that I see something coming from the north,” said Proffery.
Flanders turned his body and stood now at the side of his comrade, and he looked off toward the north into the horizon. He said, “I think that I see something, too,”
The two Christian soldiers spoke not again for a while as they watched this suspicious speck in the north sky draw closer and bigger. Sure enough. It was he. And the men had a quick word of prayer for courage and victory.
And the nefarious demon lighted upon the sand dunes, bringing his inherent wickedness in upon the pure sand dunes in an act of invasion. And he spoke, “Yet this day, and, behold, I am come.”
This was the Baneful Unicorn come now to destruct the Good Havens for his father the Devil.
In rebuke upon this unicorn demon setting his foul hooves upon this pristine sand dunes, Flanders spoke and said, “Take your hooves up off of God’s Good Havens. The sand upon which you stand is holy ground.”
Instead, the Baneful Unicorn lifted up his front right hoof and did stamp the sand with it in diabolical rebellion against God and against men of God. Then he did the same with his other three hooves. And he laughed in scorn at the two soldiers of Christ.
Then the Baneful Unicorn spoke and said, “My master, Lucifer, has given me a piece of his power for this day. It is a black magic. And through it I can prevail over your sword and over your
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crossbow. And through it I can force you two to fall in battle before me. And through it I can most effectively take God out of this Good Havens and take this paradise forever out of this Earth from you four born-again believers. This day will the demons of the world rejoice over me and with me, O mortal men of flesh and blood.”
Proffery spoke now and said, “Not before I give you a belly full of crossbow bolt.”
Undaunted, the Baneful Unicorn went on to say, “There is magic in my unicorn horn.”
“And there is death in my saber,” said Flanders.
Just then the Baneful Unicorn began to toot a song upon his evil unicorn horn. It gave a spirit of great haunt into the men standing there eager for battle. It had the power of depression. It was like unto a dirge for the dead lying there in his coffin. And the spirit of Godless hopelessness began to fill the men’s hearts with fears of death. Captured thus, the men came upon heavy secret thoughts of suicide here in the otherwise happy sand dunes.
And black ashes came down from the sky as this Demon from Upper Michigan played this song of grief upon his unicorn horn. These were ashes of brimstone. And they were falling upon the sand dunes and burning the sanctity of these sand dunes.
The men tried to speak, but to do so now, they were too sorrowful and weak to do so. The Baneful Unicorn went on to say, “See the ashes of death and dying and mourning and grieving come down now upon your great sand dunes, O soldiers of God. If I am not stopped real soon, I with these ashes from Hell will turn all of this sand into glass.”
The burning embers fell down upon man and demon and Good Havens. The cinders burned the men where they stood, did no harm to the demon, and began to take righteousness away from the sands of these Good Havens.
Remembering God, Flanders rallied and feebly swung his sword to try to cut off that unicorn horn from the unicorn’s head to stop the song and to stop the song that was bringing down these most
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discouraging ashes. The Baneful Unicorn with his horn easily batted away the saber out of Flanders’s hand, sending the saber flying ten feet behind the warrior for Christ. Proffery also feebly assaulted the horn that played this sad song and that brought the sad ashes. He fired a bolt from his crossbow at the part of the horn that came out of the unicorn’s forehead. But the Baneful Unicorn just as easily batted this bolt out of the air with a swing of his unicorn horn, and the crossbow arrow fell harmlessly to the ground way off to the side. The Demon of Upper Michigan said, “I am invincible.”
Calling upon God in prayer for joy in the Lord, Flanders said to the Lord over all, “Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
With a sigh, Proffery said about this verse, “Ah, Philippians 4:6-7. Good news from a God far away right now.”
And the Baneful Unicorn betrayed a cessation of funeral song right after Flanders had prayed this Scripture passage. The falling ashes of suicide stopped falling for just a moment. And the two Christian soldiers thought to again assault the demon unicorn. Flanders found renewed strength in his legs, and he came up to his fallen saber and did pick it up off of the ground. Proffery found strength come back to his arms, and he reloaded his crossbow.
Then the song came back upon the malevolent unicorn horn, and the ashes again began to come down upon the two believers fighting for Jesus.
Flanders faltered. Proffery hesitated. The Demon from Upper Michigan stepped up his black magic assault.
“Woe. Would that I could remember Hebrews 4:15-16, Brother,” said Flanders. “These hellfire ashes are landing on my head and making me to forget anything but despair and dark thoughts.”
Proffery remembered it, and he quoted it out loud, hoping for relief from his own thoughts of
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succumbing to this valley of death as well: “For we have not a high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”
Behold, the great and terrible Baneful Unicorn betrayed a squeak of discomfort as from a prick.
The mourning song stopped from his unicorn horn. And the grievous ashes ceased for a moment.
Flanders felt happiness now. Proffery felt contentment now. Yet the ashes upon the sand dunes were baking the heavenly sands slowly into glass.
Flanders said, “Brother, let us attack now before he starts up with his dreadful song again.”
Proffery said, “We must take him out now, or our Good Havens will soon be good no more.”
And the sword fighter and the crossbow man got to both sides of the unicorn demon to cut him off from escape.
Then the death music recommenced in the unicorn horn and that brought back the falling embers upon the two soldiers of the Lord. The men paused to stop and think. The Baneful Unicorn continued tooting and fighting with the power of Lucifer in his inimical evil.
Flanders took a look at his sword that was meant to kill demons, and he thought now about turning it upon his very self. Secretly Proffery thought the same thing about his crossbow as he now looked upon it.
Seeing this, the Baneful Unicorn said, “Go ahead and kill yourselves. After all, what is there for you two to live for when you no longer have your Good Havens in which to worship your God?”
To overcome so great temptation, Flanders said to himself a Bible verse passage for times of such feelings as these, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’ Matthew 11:28-30.”
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Suddenly an incongruous blast came out of the Baneful Unicorn’s horn very discordant and very out of place. The men looked upon him with inquisitiveness. What was that all about? And again the dirge stopped playing, and the ashes quit falling.
“Brother, he’s hurting,” said Proffery.
“I’d say that he’s hurting from hearing me recite that Bible verse about the Lord just now,” said Flanders.
Seeking to regain the upper hand, the Baneful Unicorn uttered, “You have four ways to lose these sand dunes away from God and away from you and your girlfriends, O mortal soldiers. If I cause you two to commit suicide here, the Good Havens will be no more. If the ashes get much deeper upon the sand dunes than they already are, the Good Havens will be no more. If you shed my blood, or if I shed your blood here upon the sand, the Good Havens will be no more. Or when I win this battle, I myself, by dint of my physical horn and physical hooves, will make these Good Havens to be no more.”
Flanders said right back to the Demon of Upper Michigan, “We Christian soldiers have one way to win this battle—our Good Lord and Saviour Christ Jesus.”
Nonetheless, the unicorn demon, tenacious in his service to evil, went on to again play that death song on his unicorn horn and did bring back the cinders from Hell to fall upon this threatened paradise of sand.
Sadness again came upon the two soldiers, but this time they had hope. And they held on to that hope. And this hope was Christ. Proffery said, “We must fight this demon first with Scripture, then second with our weapons, Brother,”
“I understand,” said Flanders.
“Should I hit him right now with I John 4:4?” asked Proffery.
“Hit him, Brother!” said Flanders. “Hit him hard!”
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And Proffery declared with the authority of a seasoned man of God, “O Baneful Unicorn, it is written about me and Flanders, ‘Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.’ I John 4:4.”
Struck point-blank by this Word of God, the formidable unicorn demon foe before them now quaked and trembled and shook in agitation where he was standing. He remembered now how his master Lucifer had warned him to flee the Word of God in this battle over the Good Havens with these two Christian men. But he was quickly losing his focus now after having been stricken with four passages spoken from the King James Bible by these two mighty men of God. And in his blind rebellion against God, he now blindly decided to go and defy Satan and his counsel to him. All that he now wanted to do was to run his unicorn horn through the two mighty men of the Lord. He remembered how Satan had promised him a special sample of power from himself to his unicorn demon just for this battle today. And the Baneful Unicorn understood this Satanic piece of power to be these falling burning embers wrought by his dirge played by his unicorn horn thus. But now the discomfited demon unicorn was seeking the blood of these men with his unicorn horn’s point. He was brandishing his horn in a fit of passion, but he was not sure quite what to do with this right now. Part of him wanted to go back to playing the music of the dirge on his unicorn horn, and part of him wanted to impale the believers in their chests with his horn. The intrepid Baneful Unicorn fell upon indecision so foreign to him in his other battles with lesser Christian soldiers up in the Upper Peninsula.
In the meanwhile the ashes were no longer falling upon the men. But their feet were standing in
the ashes still on the ground. And though they were blessed with hope from above, they were still tempted with hopelessness from below. There was more battle yet to fight. And the men knew what they needed to use as weapons now.
Their much memorizing of Bible verses throughout their many years as believers in their satisfactions of “eating the Words of God” were now to become the difference in this battle over
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their beatific sand dunes. God’s Word was to be their weapon against the Demon of Upper Michigan.
And Flanders swung Deuteronomy 31:6 out to the unicorn demon as the sword of the Spirit among the armor of God mentioned in Ephesians chapter six, himself saying, “O unicorn of Hell, as Moses had said to his people, so God says to me now, ‘Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go before thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.’ Thus it is written in Deuteronomy 31:6.”
And right after that, Proffery fired a similar Bible verse at the Baneful Unicorn more powerful than any bolt that he could fire from his crossbow, “And, in Deuteronomy 31:8, just as Moses promised Joshua, so does my Heavenly Father promise me: ‘And the Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.’”
The fight had now left this fearless and demonic Baneful Unicorn. His bones ached from the Word of God. His muscles were weary from the Word of God. His head was dizzy from the Word of God. His heart was faint from the Word of God. His nerves were numb from the Word of God. And his horn was silenced from the Word of God. What he wanted to do now most desperately was to get away from these men and their Scripture. And the Baneful Griffin gathered the strength that he still had, and he moved his great wings, and he lifted up off of the ground in flight from battle.
Flanders and Proffery knew what they must do, and that they did. They both leaped and landed upon this winged unicorn’s back just before he was too high up, and they mounted him as they would have their own late unicorn and late griffin. This Demon of Upper Michigan, weak and wounded, carried himself and his two unwelcome riders half a mile to the eastern edge of the Good Havens.
And the men saw the East Cabin of Flanders, and they found great encouragement. And the fatigued great Baneful Unicorn crossed over the eastern boundary of the Good Havens and on into Flanders’s backyard just outside the Good Havens. And there he fell, grounded and prone. Behold, here was the Baneful Unicorn ready to be slain, and he was no longer in the Good Havens, where God said not to
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spill blood. They could now shed this demon’s blood here where they had ended up and not curse the sand dunes with death. God works all things for the believers for good.
Even now the defeated Demon of the U.P. rallied and stood back up on his feet. Flanders and Proffery understood all about how their Almighty God had desired them to combat this demon who threatened the sand dunes of Beaver. The two Christian warriors were first to have weakened him with King James Version Bible verses, then to go on and to finish him off with their weapons of battle.
And Flanders unsheathed his saber and he began to cut up the evil unicorn with it up and down and left and right. And, as for Proffery, he loaded his crossbow and fired bolts into the unicorn of Hell into many of his major organs. And the Baneful Unicorn did perish in battle.
The battle over the Good Havens was done. But what could be done now with the foul behemoth unicorn carcass? Flanders said, “We can pray to God to do something with his dead body,”
Proffery prayed, “Dear God, could you get rid of this nasty dead unicorn demon for us?”
Behold, the ground quaked here in this backyard. Then a great abyss opened up before them and right underneath the dead unicorn. Then the remains of the Baneful Unicorn fell down into the bottomless pit below. Then the ground closed back up again sure and strong. Nothing was left of
the Demon of the Upper Peninsula. And here in Flanders’s backyard, none could tell that anything had happened here right now.
“He’s gone, Brother,” said Flanders.
“I can’t believe it. He’s finally all gone,” said Proffery.
“Thank You, Lord,” prayed Flanders, looking up to Heaven.
“I thank You, too, God,” said Proffery.
The two warriors for Christ now looked upon the sand dunes baking underneath a thick layer of burning ashes even here, half a mile away from where they had seen them first.
Proffery and Flanders looked at each other most earnestly. Proffery then said, “This is the
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moment of truth.”
And Flanders said their shared thoughts, “Do we still have our Good Havens with us?”
“What if there is glass instead of sand under the embers?” asked Proffery.
“Then we know that the Baneful Unicorn has destroyed our sand dunes anyway, Brother,” said Flanders, “even in his own defeat and death.”
“And if there is still sand underneath the cinders and not glass?” asked Proffery, knowing the answer.
And Flanders said the answer, “Then we know that our sand dunes are still good and Godly.”
“Who’s going to see and find out?” asked Proffery.
“Let’s both dig in and find out together, Brother,” said Flanders.
“Okay,” said Proffery. “Here goes, Lord.”
“God have mercy,” prayed Flanders.
And the two Christian men reached in their hands down into the warm ashes and down into the Good Havens underneath the warm ashes.
“Sand!” said Proffery. “Praise the Lord Jesus that I feel sand!”
“I do, too!” said Flanders. “Amen and amen and amen!”
God had protected the sand dunes from the Devil and his Baneful Unicorn.
“But how can we get rid of these black ashes that are everywhere?” asked Proffery. Flanders gave him a look. “Oh yeah. We can pray to God to do something about these ashes.”
Flanders said, “The God that took away the dead unicorn demon from my backyard can just as easily take away those sooty black ashes from our Good Havens.”
And the men shared a quick prayer meeting prayer for the Good Lord to take away the nasty cinders from on top of the whole sand dunes. Lo, whirlwinds of the Holy Spirit suddenly descended from the first heaven, and they began to sweep up the ashes and to take them far away upward. Dozens
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of these little gentle tornadoes began to dance across this square mile of Good Havens and to take them
up off of the divine sand dunes and to drop them off onto the surrounding countryside away from the paradise between the four cabins. In wonder the two soldiers of God watched this unique one-time ministry of the Holy Ghost. And after a while, the sand dunes was wholly cleansed by God. Indeed now the Good Havens looked just as if nothing had happened to them.
“It is written, Brother Proffery,” said Flanders, “II Chronicles 29:11:”
And Proffery Coins recited this verse in glory and gladness to the God of the Good Havens: “Thine, O Lord, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty: for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O Lord, and thou art exalted as head above all.” Then Proffery said, “Is it not written, Brother, also, in Nehemiah 9: 5b-6?:”
And Flanders went on to praise the Saviour of men and of sand dunes by reciting this Scripture passage, “…, Stand up and bless the Lord your God for ever and ever: and blessed be thy glorious name, which is exalted above all blessing and praise. Thou, even thou, art Lord alone; thou hast made heaven, the heaven of heavens, with all their host, the earth, and all things that are therein, the seas, and all that is therein, and thou preservest them all; and the host of heaven worshippeth thee.”
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CHAPTER XXI
Flanders and Proffery were sitting upon the shingles of the roof of their church. Back against back, the one soldier was looking out onto the north, and the other soldier was looking off to the south. It was the one hundredth day. The Baleful Griffin was coming today. And he would come to wreck Second Advent Baptist Church. And they and God were ready. Earlier today the two soldiers for God had defeated the evil unicorn, and God did preserve the sand dunes from destruction. Now the men looked to God to help them to defeat the evil griffin and for God to preserve their blessed church. And Flanders and Proffery, their weapons ready, waited upon God and demon.
Flanders said, “I wonder what Bible verses that we might need to defeat this Baleful Griffin, Brother.”
“I don’t know about you, but when we needed the Bible verses to shoot at our enemy the unicorn demon, the Scripture just came to us,” said Proffery.
“Maybe God will give us the Bible verses to say to the Baleful Griffin when we need them,” said Flanders.
“Matthew 10:19-20, Brother,” said Proffery.
“But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be
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given you in that same hour what ye shall speak. For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you,” recited Flanders those two Bible verses.
“Just as God swings your saber and just as God fires my crossbow, this same God will speak our Scripture verses through us,” said Proffery.
Behold, a speck in the sky from the north several miles away. Proffery pointed. Flanders looked. “I think so, Brother,” said Flanders.
“Who else?” asked Proffery. The men got to their feet there upon the roof of their church.
The figure in the sky got larger, and it continued advancing most quickly.
“The women are praying for us, I assume,” said Flanders.
“They are both in my girlfriend’s South Cabin in prayer meeting for us right now,” said Proffery.
“Their prayers mean the difference for us between victory and defeat here at Second Advent Baptist Church,” said Flanders.
The traveler in the sky was now discernible to the two men. It was a griffin indeed. The men lowered their weapons toward the ground and did call upon God to give them His Bible verses for them to assault this demon griffin.
Then the still small voice told the two men in their ears, “As you have done with the unicorn, so do the opposite with this griffin, My children.”
The two Christian soldiers with the unicorn demon had first used Scripture verses to weaken the foe, then had used their sword and crossbow to finish him off. But now, this time, the Holy Spirit told them that with this griffin foe, the two soldiers for God were to first use their sword and crossbow to weaken the demon, and then quote Scripture at him to finish him off. Flanders and Proffery understood and believed and obeyed.
And this visitor from the skies was now easily seen from on top of this Baptist church’s roof.
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It was he. “The Baleful Griffin,” said Flanders. And Flanders drew his sword, and Proffery loaded his crossbow.
And the formidable Baleful Griffin came up to them, scorned their Jesus, and lighted before them on the church roof. The Demon of Wisconsin proclaimed, “Yet this day, and now it is today.”
“Proclaim your objectives, O Baleful Griffin,” said Flanders.
“You know why I have come, O man of God,” said the griffin demon.
“Tell us anyway,” said Proffery.
“I have come to take your Second Advent Baptist Church out of this Earth with utter destruction,” vowed the Demon of Wisconsin. “I shall raze this church down to the ground, with you two under it.”
“Do tell us how you hope to get this done for Lucifer,” said Flanders.
“By eagle beak and by eagle talon and by lion paw and by lion tail,” bragged the great and fearsome griffin demon.
“Beak and talon and paw and tail vs. sword and crossbow and Holy Spirit,” said Proffery. “You are outnumbered nonetheless, O demon griffin.”
“I do have one more thing that I brought with me, O fighters for Jesus,” bragged the Baleful Griffin.
“What else do you claim that you now have?” asked Flanders.
“Lucifer has given me a piece of his supernatural power just for this battle over your church,” said the Demon from Wisconsin.
“It is not ashes from Hell,” said Proffery.
“It is wind from Hell,” said the Baleful Griffin.
The two men looked around from where they stood, and they spread out their arms to try to feel wind, and all the trees and bushes were still. Flanders said, “I feel no wind from you and Lucifer, O
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Baleful Griffin.”
“It’s coming,” said the supernaturally-enhanced griffin demon.
Then a slight breeze came upon them. But this breeze was most benign and most harmless.
“This wind cannot hurt us in battle, O Baleful Griffin,” said Proffery. “There’s got to be a catch to this power of the wind that Lucifer has given you.”
“It comes from the north. Does it not?” asked the griffin of Lucifer.
“It does,” said the two men.
A moment passed, then the wind shifted. “Now it comes from the south. Does it not?” asked the diabolical griffin.
“That it does,” said the two men.
Then the wind shifted again. “Now it comes from the east. Doesn’t it?” asked the Baleful Griffin.
“Yeah,” said the two men.
And the wind shifted yet again. “Now it comes from the west. Doesn’t it, O men of Jesus?” asked the Demon of Wisconsin.
“Yes,” said the two men in some indignation.
“It now blows at two miles per hour upon us here on the roof of your church,” said the griffin foe.
“I would think so, demon griffin,” said Flanders, irritated at this griffin’s little game that he was playing with the two Christian warriors.
“Just a minute ago, when I first brought this wind upon you here, my winds were one mile per hour,” declared the Baleful Griffin.
“And that means what?” asked Proffery.
“Well, let me tell you that in the next minute, this wind will be at three miles per hour,” mocked
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the Demon of Wisconsin.
“Are you trying to tell us that this wind will increase one mile per hour for every minute we stand here upon this roof?” asked Flanders.
Whether you are on this roof or whether you are fallen down off of this roof, I will blow upon your Second Advent Baptist Church a wind from a variety of directions that will become stronger one mile per hour for every minute that passes in this battle,” said the Baleful Griffin.
“After one hour, this wind will become sixty miles per hour, Brother,” said Flanders to Proffery.
And the Baleful Griffin said, “Think how my wind that I have wrought will blow upon your little Baptist church a hundred minutes from now.”
“I feel a wind that is four miles per hour,” said Proffery to Flanders.
“It is on the verge now of becoming five miles per hour up here,” Flanders said to Proffery.
“What you two believer-soldiers need to do to me, you best go and do it before it is too late for you and for your church,” mocked the Baleful Griffin.
Without any more delay, the griffin demon attacked the sword fighter and the crossbow archer, and in reprisal the sword fighter and the crossbow archer attacked the griffin demon. And the last battle over the last church began up here on its roof in a supernatural wind that was to grow steadily stronger. Sword blade and crossbow bolt contended against beak and talon and paw and black magic wind. And God fought for His two troops, and Satan fought for his troop. And the winds grew steadily more strong. Flanders and Proffery were wounded with minor cuts and bruises. The Baleful Griffin was wounded with major cuts and bruises. The griffin demon got the worst of this hand-to-hand combat despite his power over the wind. And this wind was now at about thirty miles per hour.
The shingles on this roof with their rugged surfaces did help the two men to keep their footing here in battle. But the slope of this roof made it hard for the men to keep their balance as they battled this supernatural griffin. And this wind was liable to now blow them down to the edge of this roof and off
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of the edge and down to the ground ten feet below.
The Baleful Griffin spoke and said, as if he had won this battle, “Do you surrender, O fighters for Christ?”
“Demon from Wisconsin,” said Proffery, “you’re bleeding.”
“We can finish you off right now with our sword and our crossbow, but God wants us to finish you off with His spoken Word, instead,” said Flanders.
“The spoken Words of God which you two shall say to me,” said the Baleful Griffin, ever full of guile. The men nodded. “And which I shall hear,” said the demon griffin. The men nodded again.
“Demon of Wisconsin, do you surrender?” asked Proffery.
“Man of God, you underestimate me,” said the Baleful Griffin. He then called upon Satan, and behold, suddenly the one wind from one direction became the four winds from the four directions.
“Brother, the griffin is buying time,” warned Flanders.
“What’s that? I can’t hear you in these winds wind,” said Proffery.
“I said that he is buying himself time,” said Flanders loudly.
“How come?” asked Proffery.
“What’s that, Brother?” asked Flanders.
“I said, ‘How come?’” said Proffery above the noise of these rushing four winds.
“I do not know,” yelled Flanders above the roar of these winds. These winds were now about thirty-five miles per hour. Soon they would be forty miles per hour.
The four Christian warriors were struggling to keep their footing upon this sloped roof with these gales blowing upon them all at once from the north and from the east and from the south and from the west. But the Baleful Griffin felt comfortable and quite at home.
And Flanders went on to fire his Bible verse right at the Baleful Griffin right before him: “’I
will call on the Lord, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.’ II Samuel
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22:4.”
But this Word of God did not faze the griffin demon. And the four fierce winds were blowing over forty miles per hour in all directions upon the two believer-warriors.
Then Proffery sought to wound this demon griffin with God’s Word spoken by his tongue: “’But the Lord your God ye shall fear; and he shall deliver you out of the hand of all your enemies.’ II Kings 17:39.”
Again was this Baleful Griffin unaffected by a Scripture verse that should have knocked his senses out of his head. And now the four winds from the four directions were blowing upon the soldiers of God at nearly fifty miles per hour.
The men tried to ask each other about what had just gone wrong. But they could not hear each other in these four gales up here on the roof now as they discussed this mystery. Then they knew. The Bible verses that they had attacked this demon with in these four roaring winds could not be heard by man or griffin. They had not heard what they had quoted from the Holy Bible. Neither then could the griffin hear their Bible verse quotes. And, because the Baleful Griffin could not hear these Words of God, he could not be wounded by them, either. God heard His two men. But the griffin could not. This was why he had been stalling for time in that frivolous dialogue that he had gotten the men to fall into. He had been waiting for his gradually increasing wind to grow in power and to shut out the volume of God’s Word that the men had been gloating over in their overconfidence. And when he felt that the time was right, he then turned that one wind into the four winds. And the soldiers of the Lord had fallen into his trap hook, line, and sinker. Now Flanders and Proffery could say the Word of God, but now without its Holy Spirit power upon the Demon from Wisconsin. Sword fighter and crossbow archer, just a moment ago, so close to victory, now looked so close to defeat.
Now the four winds were blowing hard well over fifty miles per hour. All looked like loss to the two Christian soldiers. In order to not get blown down to the earth, the two believers had to discard
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their weapons and to let them blow away off of this roof. They had to get down on their hands and knees and with their fingernails try to hold on to the shingles. Their fingernails were bending back, and their fingers were bleeding. And they were being lifted up above the roof of the church by dint of four converging gale force winds right upon them.
Then suddenly they saw the unexpected. The seemingly invulnerable Baleful Griffin collapsed upon the church roof where he had been standing in victory, and the winds lifted him up off of this roof and did drop him to the ground out in front of this church.
They saw the demon’s blood spilled upon the shingles underneath where he had been standing. Oh yes! They remembered now how wounded that he had gotten in the battle when they had their sword and their crossbow. And, though he had not shown it, at the time when he had brought his wind to above shouting level, his physical griffin body, wounded sorely in battle, was weaker than the men’s own slightly wounded human bodies. And the very wind that he had created to master the Christian soldiers ended up mastering him self. And in his fall, he tried to fly, and he could not fly far, and he fell down in front in the parking lot.
Suddenly Proffery began to slide down the sloped roof toward the one side of the building. He instantly fell over, and yet he grabbed a hold of a flying buttress and held on tight. Flanders thought that he fell to the ground. And just then Flanders was sliding down the sloped roof toward the other side of the building. And he, too, fell over and did also grab a hold of a flying buttress and held on tight. Neither comrade knew what had happened to the other. But now both of them were holding on, and their feet were only four feet above the ground. And they let go, and they fell athletically, and they landed upon their feet harmlessly, on the opposite sides of the church. They both ran out to the front of their church. The fell dread griffin was ready to die. But the wind still blew, now with even more gale force. And surely if they could not kill him now with a Scripture verse with the wind as it was now, most probably soon this wind would blow away Second Advent Baptist Church like a hurricane.
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They remembered their faith in the Words of God how that even if man or griffin demon could not hear them, the Lord could still hear them. After all, had not this faithful God just now in His time, and not in their time, gone and “saved them from their enemy,”(now fallen to the ground) as the first verse went? And had not their Lord, also just now—again in His way and not in their way–”delivered them out of the hand of their enemy” (now fallen in battle) as the second verse went? They served a God Who wrote the Bible. Surely if the Lord could write the Perfect Book, could he not take away the wind from a demon that sought to blow away His last good church? The same Christ Jesus Who saved the Good Havens would also save Second Advent Baptist Church. The two men needed to focus now upon these four winds. These gales were now closing in upon seventy miles per hour. Jesus would help them. All they needed was to trust Him in this time of storm.
Flanders looked up to Heaven, and he prayed to God, “Dear Heavenly Father, it is written about Your Son, ‘And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.’ Mark 4:39. If You will, take away this devil’s great wind upon Your great church. In Jesus’s name. Amen.”
Likewise himself praying his prayer, Proffery went on to say up to God’s Throne, “Dear Father, in Luke 8:24, it is written, ‘And they came to him, and awoke him, saying, Master, master, we perish. Then he arose, and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water; and they ceased, and there was a calm.’ Your Son stilled the storm at sea. He can also still this storm at church. In His name I pray to You. Amen.”
Suddenly the four fierce gales ceased all at once. It was suddenly so peaceful that it actually sounded eerie to the two Christian soldiers. They looked first at the church. They stared at it from here. Not one brick was gone. Not one shingle lay upon the ground. No window was broken. The Demon of Wisconsin, who had promised to decimate this church, had not even scratched the front door.
Then they looked at the Baleful Griffin wounded by saber and crossbow. His time had come.
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He asked, “What happened to my winds given me by my master?”
Flanders said, “Our Saviour took them away for us two Christians, O demon.”
“Is the church down?” asked the Baleful Griffin.
“It is yet up,” said Proffery.
“Curses!” snarled the fallen demon.
“Shall we do it now, Brother?” asked Proffery.
“God would like that,” said Flanders.
“Hurry up and do it,” said the Baleful Griffin, knowing what the two Christian warriors were talking about.
Flanders Nickels said again to the Demon from Wisconsin, this time in the still air, “It is written in II Samuel 22:4, my foe from Hell, ‘I will call on the Lord, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.’” Then Flanders prayed, “I call upon you, Lord, Who is worthy to be praised.”
And right after this, Proffery Coins also repeated his former Bible verse to this evil griffin minion, this time also without the noise from the wind. “My Baleful Griffin, is it not written in II Kings 17:39, the words, ‘But the Lord your God ye shall fear, and he shall deliver you out of the hands of all your enemies?’” Then Proffery also had a short word of good prayer, saying, “I fear You, O Lord my God.”
And in a final act of diabolical rebellion against Christ and against all that is of Christ, the once
proud and unconquerable Baleful Griffin got back to his feet, cursed God, and fell down dead.
Just then the Fables twin sisters came skipping and hopping about in their pleasing green and gold and white in a happy gait toward them.
“My Gretchen!” called out Flanders in great gladness.
“Ah, fair Destiny,” said Proffery, most glad to see her now.
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“Good boyfriend,” greeted Gretchen Flanders. “What good work you did today for our Lord!” And she came up to him and hugged him long and hard.
“You did it, Proffery!” called forth Destiny. “Both here and at our sand dunes. I’m proud of you!” And she gave him a quick affectionate kiss.
After this, Gretchen said, “This dead griffin. What do you think that we should do, Destiny?”
“You know, Big Sister,” said Destiny.
And Gretchen prayed to God that He take it away from their church. And God answered Gretchen Fables’ prayer by sending a whole flock of vultures to come in upon the griffin carcass. And the carrion birds ate up all of the meat of the dead Baleful Griffin. Then a pack of coyotes came and took all of the bones of the dead griffin where they were scattered, and they carried them all away. Then the cleansing summer rain fell down from above to wash away the blood of the fallen evil griffin from the roof to the parking lot and everywhere between.
Then Flanders went and gave Gretchen a quick little kiss, and Proffery went and gave Destiny a long hard embrace.
“It’s all done now. Isn’t it?” asked Miss Fables the elder.
“Our battles are done,” said Flanders.
“There are no more demons for you two to fight. Are there?” asked Miss Fables the younger.
“Our days of war are no more,” said Proffery.
Having said this, the Fables girls and their boyfriends looked forward to a new life together of Fabled Times. They ran off now to the sand dunes for frolic and fellowship and worship. The sword was still there on the ground among the apple trees on the one side of the church. And the crossbow was still there on the ground among the apple trees on the other side of the church.
The Lord Jesus Christ was coming again soon in His Second Advent.
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CHAPTER XXII
The Fables twin sisters were on the phone scheming good and fun mischief. But Gretchen was alone at Destiny’s cabin, and Destiny was alone at Gretchen’s cabin as they plotted together on the phone. Gretchen said, “Remember, Little Sister, even Mom and Dad could not tell us apart all of the time.”
“Yeah. I know. Our boyfriends will be in for a real surprise when they finally find out,” said Destiny.
“Remember, you pretend to be me, and I will pretend to be you.” said Gretchen.
“This is my best idea yet. Isn’t it, Big Sister?” asked Destiny.
“Our boyfriends will be easy to be fooled,” said Gretchen. “I can’t wait till Proffery gets here.”
“I can’t wait for Flanders to get here,” said Destiny.
“I never wore knife pleats around my waist before,” said Gretchen. “I think that I like the feel of them.”
“Now I know what box pleats feel like. This is a new thing for me to wear,” said Destiny.
“How does the sweater feel?” asked Gretchen.
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“Kind of warm for an autumn day like this,” said Destiny. “How does the vest feel?”
“Kind of cool for a fall day like today,” said Gretchen.
“You told him six o’clock?” asked Destiny.
“Yep. And you?” asked Gretchen.
“Six o’clock,” said Destiny.
“All for one, Little Sister,” said Gretchen.
“And one for all,” said Destiny. The Fables twins then laughed gaily, wished each other good luck, and hung up and waited for each other’s unsuspecting boyfriend to come.
At six o’clock, Flanders arrived promptly at Gretchen’s cabin, and he knocked on the door.
Destiny opened the door, herself all ready for such good fun on him. Behold, Flanders took one look at her, and he said, “Why, Destiny, you’re dressed in Gretchen’s pom and dance uniform. How come?”
Destiny’s mouth fell open, and she was speechless, and her expression was of a trickster caught in her act. She spoke and said, “Flanders, how could you tell? You were not supposed to know.”
“Tricky Destiny, I know my Gretchen. You can’t fool me,” said Flanders.
“Flanders, what gave me away?” she asked.
“Oh, that’s easy, Destiny,” he said. “Gretchen’s nose is a little on the larger size, and your nose is a little on the smaller size.”
“Foiled!” confessed Destiny.
“You twins thought to play a game on me, and it came back to you two and bit you,” said Flanders with a merry laugh.
“Our great idea got blown up in our face, you could say, Flanders,” said Destiny.
Upon hearing Destiny say this, Flanders said, “Don’t tell me. Right now Proffery is at your cabin with the same trick going on there as the trick going on here at Gretchen’s cabin. Am I right, Destiny?”
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“Uh huh,” said Destiny with a nod.
“Proffery will not be fooled, either,” said Flanders.
“He will not fall for it any longer than you did not fall for it, Flanders,” said Destiny.
“You sneaks,” said Flanders. “I like it!”
At six o’clock, Proffery arrived on time at Destiny’s cabin. The moment that Gretchen opened the door, Proffery took one look at her, and he said to her, “Why, that’s you, Gretchen! What are you doing wearing my Destiny’s cheerleader uniform?”
“My my my,” said Gretchen. “I got caught in the act, I can see.”
“You were trying to make me think that you were Destiny. Weren’t you?” asked Proffery.
“Yeah, Proffery. I admit it,” confessed Gretchen. “How could you tell that I was not she?”
“Oh, I know my girlfriend, Gretchen,” said Proffery. He then went on to explain, “My Destiny has her long brown hair always combed behind her ears. But you always have your long brown hair covering your ears.”
“We’ve been found out,” said Gretchen, conceding defeat.
“Does that mean that right now at your cabin Destiny is trying to make Flanders think that she is you, Gretchen?” asked Proffery.
“”Yeah,” confessed Gretchen. “And it will not work.”
“It will fall down on her own feet,” said Proffery.
“And boomerang back against us two girls,” added Gretchen.
“You two little minions,” teased Proffery.
“We identical twins can get into trouble more easily than can you two boyfriends of us identical twins,” said Gretchen.
“I have to admit that I kind of like the trouble that you Fables girls brought upon yourselves today,” said Proffery.
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“You know what they say, Proffery,” said Destiny.
“What do they say?” he asked.
“Never kid a kidder,” she said.
“You know what else they say,” said Proffery.
“What?” asked Destiny.
“He who laughs last laughs best,” he said. And she laughed first, and he laughed last.
Later on, the four again got together for a double date in the midst of the sand dunes. This time they gathered around in the very center of these Good Havens. Gretchen was again Flanders’s pom and dance girl; and Destiny, again Proffery’s cheerleader. Gretchen spoke and said, “Boyfriend, this is the first time in which I do not see you with your sword along your side.”
“My ministry as demon slayer is done now,” said Flanders.
“I definitely like the new you,” said Gretchen.
“I do, too, girlfriend,” he said.
“How about you, Proffery?” asked Destiny.
“This is my first time without my crossbow all ready for battle,” said Proffery.
“Your demon-slaying days are done now, too,” said Destiny.
“I feel good,” he said.
“You look good, boyfriend,” said Destiny.
“Thank you both for protecting our sand dunes here the way you did,” said Gretchen.
“And thank you both for protecting our good Baptist church from them two, also,” said Destiny.
“What did you guys do with those powerful weapons?” asked Gretchen.
“I left mine lying around next to the church,” said Flanders.
“And, I, also,” said Proffery. “Right next to our church.”
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“Flanders,” asked Gretchen.
“Yes, Gretchen?” he asked.
“If you do not want your sword, could I have it?” she asked. “I kind of want something to have for myself to remember my mighty soldier-boyfriend-in-Christ.”
“You wish for my old saber, O pretty pom pom girl?” he asked, flattered.
She nodded her head and said, “Uh huh.”
“Gretchen, I’d be honored to give it to you,” said Flanders.
Meanwhile Destiny was looking earnestly upon her boyfriend Proffery with petition in her eyes.
Proffery saw supplication in her eyes, and he said, “Do you want my crossbow and its bolts, O Destiny?”
“If I could,” she said.
“Cheerleader girlfriend, I shall be most blessed to give them all to you,” said Proffery.
“”Oh, goody!” said Destiny. “Thank you, O retired Christian warrior.”
Then Flanders asked, “What are we four here in the Good Havens going to do about maybe getting new pets?”
The Fables twins spoke and said, “We’ve been thinking about finding another dog for ourselves.”
“What kind of dog would you like to replace Laddie, Gretchen?” asked Flanders.
“Another one just like him,” said Gretchen.
“A Collie,” said Flanders.
“A she-Collie this time,” said Gretchen.
“What would you call her?” asked Flanders.
“Lassie,” said Gretchen.
“That’s the best name for a dog,” said Flanders.
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“What about you, Destiny?” asked Proffery. “Are you going to get another German Shepherd just like Donner?”
“Yes. I think that I will,” said Destiny.
“A female German Shepherd this time, girlfriend?” asked Proffery.
“No. I think that I want another he-dog to love,” said Destiny.
“What will his name be?” asked Proffery.
“His name will be ‘Blitzen,’” said Destiny.
“’Blitzen,’” said Proffery. “That name means ‘lightning.’”
“Or ’Blitz’ for short,” Destiny said in reverie.
Gretchen spoke and said, “What about you two men?”
Flanders said, “Proffery and I have been talking about this together and doing much prayer.”
Proffery said, “We men think that we will not seek another pet in our lives.”
“Not another unicorn, Flanders?” asked Gretchen.
“There will never be another Bree for me, Gretchen,” said Flanders.
“And you, Proffery,” asked Destiny. “You don’t want another griffin?”
“There will never be another like unto Zephyr for me, girlfriend,” said Proffery.
Gretchen spoke and said, “I hear some sorrow in your words, but I find in them the peace of God.”
Destiny said, “You are both sad and glad about that at the same time,”
“I could be Lassie’s new friend, though, Gretchen,” said Flanders.
“Flanders, I’d love that,” said Gretchen,
“Then I could be Blitz’s new friend, too,” said Proffery.
“Proffery, that would make me so happy,” said Destiny.
“Lassie will adore you, Flanders,” said Gretchen.
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“And Blitz will just love you right back, good boyfriend,” said Destiny.
Just then two benign white tornadoes descended down from Heaven right before them upon these Good Havens. And they touched the ground of the sand dunes. And they transformed into into two men with wings, august and noble and good. These two personages were each more powerful than even the late Baneful Unicorn and the late Baleful Griffin. Truly they had to be angels of God Almighty Himself come from Heaven to talk to them.
The one angel spoke and said, “I am Gabriel, that stands in the Presence of God. I bid you four greetings in God’s name.”
The other angel spoke and said, “I am Michael, the great prince that stands for the children of God’s people. I welcome you four in the name of the Lord.”
For the fear of angels, the two women fell down in worship before them, and the two men stood there and quaked with trembling in their bodies.
Gabriel rebuked the two girls for this worship, saying to them the words of Revelation 19:10: “See [ye] do it not: I am [your] fellowservant, and of [your] brethren that have the testimony of Jesus: worship God: for the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.”
And Michael reproved the two women also for this worshiping that they fell down into, saying to them the Bible verse Revelation 22:9, “See [ye] do it not: for I am [your] fellowservant, and of [your] brethren the prophets, and of them which keep the sayings of this book: worship God.”
Strengthened and exhorted and encouraged, the Fables twins stood back up.
Then the two angels said to the two men, “Fear not, O mighty men of God Most High.” And Flanders and Proffery lost their fear and did stop shaking.
Then the angel Gabriel spoke and said to the two Christian men of these Good Havens, “Hail, brave Flanders. Hail, courageous Proffery. Well done, good and faithful servants. You both have fought and slain in battle the Demon of Upper Michigan for the cause of these sand dunes. You have
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won a victory not only for this Good Havens, but also for the Upper Peninsula which is now without its demon ruling over it. Because of you two Christian soldiers, revival is now quickly spreading throughout the whole U.P. Soon all of Upper Michigan will be as Utopic as these very sand dunes we are standing upon right now. God’s holiness and righteousness and goodness is filling all of this peninsula with the Holy Spirit. A once common place of sin, the U.P. will soon be a paradise. And when Jesus finishes His work up there, Upper Michigan will be a twenty-first century Garden of Eden. Flanders Arckery Nickels, commendations for your work for our Heavenly Father on the battlefields between Good and evil. Proffery Rule Coins, congratulations from the Lord Jesus Christ for your valor in battle between God and Satan. Not another like that Baneful Unicorn shall ever set foot upon the U.P. again.”
Then the angel Michael spoke his address to the two Christian soldiers standing here, “Praises to you, Flanders. Praises to you, Proffery. Great was your victory in battle against the Demon of Wisconsin. You have fought for the cause of the last good and Godly church in the state of Wisconsin, but you have won for all of the churches of this state of Wisconsin. Great shall be your rewards at the Bema seat, men. And many shall be the crowns that you will give back to Jesus at the Bema Seat.
Because Wisconsin is no longer under the reign of the Baleful Griffin, revival is now sweeping churches everywhere in Wisconsin. The once lukewarm ecumenical churches are repenting and becoming on fire for Jesus as their first love. Good fundamental churches are now what the people want. And good country Baptist churches like unto your Second Advent Baptist Church are quickly becoming popular once again. And pastors and missionaries and evangelists are now seeking to be just like your very good Pastor Canon. Glory to the triune Godhead in the highest for your victory in Jesus over the Baleful Griffin demon of Wisconsin. He and any like him will never fly the skies of the Midwest again.”
Then Gabriel spoke and said, “And kudos to you and blessings upon you, Gretchen Liz Fables,
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for being Flanders’s proper and submissive and loyal girlfriend-in-Christ.”
And Micheal also spoke and said, “And unto you, Destiny Jean Fables, I do heap all due and worthy accolades for being for him as his girlfriend the Biblical ‘help meet’ that made life better for him, as Eve was created for Adam.”
After this, Gabriel spoke his closing words, “The Lord continue blessing you four and keeping you four.”
And Michael also bade them farewell, saying to them, “The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you four now and ever.”
Then, just like that, the winged men angels transformed back into those benevolent white tornadoes, the funnel ascending back up to Heaven, and then dissipating in the firmament. The four born again believers were awed into silence from this angelic visit. They had seen angels of the Lord, and they still lived.
But these four believers in the Good Havens were very soon to have another visit from another One. Another Visitor from Heaven was soon to come down to speak to them. It was to be a visit from the Most High. Some people call such a Personage a “Theophany.” Others call Him a “Christophany.”
One could call such a Deity “a post-incarnate Christ.” In any other way to say it, “God Himself was coming down from Heaven just to see them here in the sand dunes.”
And the Lord Jesus Christ came down upon these Good Havens from His Good Heavens. And he came down in the clouds. And he stood there before them in all of His deified divine Regal Glory. In a proper fear of the Saviour of the world, the four all fell down in most utmost worship before Him. And he spoke to them with the noise of many waters, saying to them, “Sons and daughters, be of good cheer. It is I. Be not afraid.”
And His sons and daughters were no longer afraid. But they most humbly remained in worship on their knees before him.
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And the Good Lord Jesus spoke good words unto them: “My four beloved children, it is written, ‘According to the grace of God which is given unto me, as a wise masterbuilder, I have laid the foundation, and another buildeth thereon. But let every man take heed how he buildeth thereupon. For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble; Every man’s work shall be made manifest, for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man’s work of what sort it is. If any man’s work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward. If any man’s work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved, yet so as by fire.’ I Corinthians 3:10-15. My four dear children, I have tried your works for Me with the fire. And your works are not wood and are not hay, and are not stubble. Indeed your works for Me are gold and are silver and are precious stones. Great shall be your rewards in Heaven to come, My four good and faithful servants.”
Then Jesus said, “Flanders, come forth and approach Me where I stand.”
In obeisance, Flanders Nickels got up, came up to Jesus, and bowed upon his knees before Him.
And Jesus put His hand upon Flanders’s head and did bless him with these words, “My son with the sword, as You have lived in the East Cabin along these sand dunes, so shall you rule the East under Me in My Millennial Reign to come.” And He took away His hand.
“My Lord and my God,” replied Flanders in homage.
Then Jesus took one step off to the side, and He then called forth, “Proffery, come forth and approach Me where I stand.”
In reverence, Proffery Coins got up, walked up to Jesus, and got down on his knees before Him.
And Jesus put His hand now upon Proffery’s head and did give him a blessing, saying to him, “My son with the crossbow, as you have lived in the West Cabin along these sand dunes, so shall you reign over the West for Me in my Millennial Reign.” Then God took away His hand.
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“My Lord and my Master,” prayed Proffery in awe.
Then Christ took another step off to the side, and He said, “Gretchen, come forth now and approach Me where I do stand.”
In great humbleness, Gretchen Fables got back to her feet, came up to where Jesus was awaiting her, and did bow upon her knees in honor before Him. And Christ put His hand upon her head and blessed her with this declaration, “My pom and dance girl daughter, as you have lived in the North Cabin along these sand dunes, in like will you rule the North in Me in My Thousand-Year Reign.”
Then God took away His hand.
“My Redeemer and my Saviour,” replied Gretchen in sanctity.
Then the Son of God took another step off to the side, and He went on to say, “Destiny, come to Me now and approach Me and kneel before Me.”
In adoration, Destiny Fables arose from where she was kneeling, approached God where He was standing, and knelt down again before Him. And God the Son put His hand upon her head and did proclaim to her His blessing: “My cheerleader daughter, as you have lived in the South Cabin along the edge of these sand dunes, in the fulness of time you will rule the South under my authority in my Thousand-Year Reign.” He then took away His hand.
“My Rock and my Saviour,” replied Destiny in holiness.
Then the Good Lord Jesus Christ spoke and said, “It is written about My Second Coming, ‘And the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean.’ Revelation 19:14. This will be you four and all of the other saints in Heaven in My Second Advent. At that time you four will become my kings and my queens of the four regions of my Millennium. And I will sit down upon My throne in Jerusalem as God of Heaven and Earth. And the world will again be the very good place as it was upon the sixth day of creation. Amen and amen and amen.” Then Jesus ascended back Up to Heaven.
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It is written in full about Christ’s Second Advent: “’And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself. And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood; and his name is called The Word of God. And the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean. And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS. And I saw an angel standing in the sun; and he cried with a loud voice, saying to all the fowls that fly in the midst of heaven, Come and gather yourselves together unto the supper of the great God; That ye may eat the flesh of kings, and the flesh of captains, and the flesh of mighty men, and the flesh of horses, and of them that sit on them, and the flesh of all men, both free and bond, both small and great.’ Revelation 19:11-18.”
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