The two-piece swimsuit girlfriend and her boyfriend are on a date at Bay Beach Amusement Park in Green Bay near the bay. Her name is Louisiana Lasser, and his name is Flanders Nickels. They are both born-again Christians with all kinds of ideas about what Heaven will be like, but not the right one. They both need to see Heaven as the Paradise where Jesus is in His Person. Will Christ make their hearts right with Him?
THE TWO-PIECE SWIMSUIT GIRLFRIEND
By Mr. Morgan P. McCarthy
The two-piece swimsuit girlfriend and her boyfriend were at Bay Beach Amusement Park in Green Bay on a date, and they had just gotten off of the little train that wound around the park. It was a little train with a little engine and little cars and little tracks; and its cars were open cars, seating two passengers in each car, and the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend and her boyfriend had ridden in the last car. They heard now the continuous ringing of the bell of the train at its front car. This Bay Beach was located in the northern parts of the city of Green Bay, in its northern shores, at the southern edge of the Bay of Green Bay. The bay separated Door County on the east from the rest of Wisconsin on the west, and it joined Lake Michigan around Washington Island, just north of the tip of Door County. Today the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend had on her favorite two-piece swimsuit. It was all white throughout and filled with black polka dots. The part of her women’s two-piece swimsuit that concealed her hidden parts of her top half was a triangle cup string bikini top with white strings tied up in the back of her
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neck and with white strings that tied up along her back. Her white swimsuit cups abounded in black polka dots. The part of her women’s two-piece swimsuit that concealed her hidden parts of her lower half was a white two-piece swimsuit skirt with black polka dots all throughout. It had a solid black band around its top that held her around her hips. And its edges reached part way down toward her knees, and they blew about her waist here in the gentle breezes by the water. And her feet were bare.
And on her head was a straw hat. Her boyfriend once told her, “All swimsuit girls wear straw hats.”
So, today the two-piece swimsuit girl also had on a straw hat for her boyfriend. Her name was Louisiana Lasser. And Miss Lasser was a pretty twenty-five-old redhead with solid bangs and with straight hair and with pigtails along the sides of her head. Her eyes were hazel. And her much broad teeth flashed fetchingly in smile. Her female frame was slender and curved. And she was a size eight, kind of tall and kind of thin for a young woman. Who was the boyfriend of this two-piece swimsuit girl? He was Flanders Nickels, also twenty-five years old, and dressed in blue jeans and short-sleeved cotton plaid shirt and bucket hat and penny loafers with no socks. He refused socks unless it were winter here in Wisconsin. And bucket hats were his trademark summer apparel, such hats popular in K-Mart in bygone days in America. And penny loafers were his kinds of shoes all of his life. Sometimes he had penny loafers with dimes. Sometimes he had penny loafers with nickels. Most of the time he had penny loafers with bright shiny copper pennies. With these, as for the black penny loafers, he did put his pennies in them tails side up. And also with these, as for the burgundy penny loafers, he did put his pennies in them heads side up. For this date he had on his black penny loafers.
“Flanders, remember your penny loafers of which you had quarters in them?” asked the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“Long before our time together,” he said, remembering having told her. “My big brother once had sneakers wherein he hid a real gold coin for a while some time ago.”
“Did he ever lose it?” she asked.
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“Uh uh,” said her boyfriend with a shaking of his head. “But I did lose a couple of pennies here and there from all of my penny loafers.”
“They fell out,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
Flanders and his two-piece swimsuit girlfriend were both born-again believers, himself for some years; and herself, for some months. He was a member of East De Pere Baptist Church for five years. She was going to become a member of East De Pere Baptist Church real soon now.
They then looked around from where they were standing. They could see the recent addition to Bay Beach—the Zippin Pippin. This was said to be Elvis’s favorite roller coaster. They could see the giant slide. One day here in Flanders’s life before he had found his two-piece swimsuit girlfriend, he went down this slide sixteen times in a row. Figuring out mathematics, he had come to the knowledge that had he climbed the steps and slid down this slide seventeen times instead, he would have climbed a thousand stairs that day. They could also see the Tilt-a-Whirl in its redness. And they could see the Scrambler in its silver color. And they could see the Ferris Wheel in its great height. And they could see the Scat and its standing riders. And they could see the ponies and their little children riding them.
And they could see the park pavilion where food was sold to the visitors. And they could see the bay. And all around them were the people of summer of northeastern Wisconsin.
The two-piece swimsuit girlfriend spoke and said, “Flanders, I don’t see any other two-piece swimsuit women here today.”
“I don’t see any one-piece swimsuit women here today,” said Flanders.
“Never mind them,” said Louisiana Lasser. “Keep your eyes away from one-piece swimsuit women.”
“I’ll try to keep my eyes on you,” he said to his two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“What should we do now?” she asked. “Should we try Elvis’s roller coaster?”
“I was thinking of getting to know you better,” he said in wiles.
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“I know all about what you’re saying, boyfriend,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“Tell me what I’m saying,” he said in flirt.
“It can only be either piggyback rides or horsey-back rides with your two-piece swimsuit girlfriend, Flanders,” said Louisiana Lasser.
“I choose piggyback rides,” he said to her.
“The other choice would look weird for us to do at Bay Beach, but this choice will not look weird for us to do at Bay Beach,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“You know how we do it,” he said.
“Either I ride you, or you ride me,” she said about their anticipated romance.
“We can do both and make a whole day out of it, girlfriend,” said Flanders.
“Could you go first, and myself go second?” she asked.
“Do you mean that first you ride me and second I ride you?” he asked Miss Lasser.
“Uh huh,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend with a nod of her pretty red head.
“Hop onto my back, girl,” he did say.
“First get down a little so that I can do so,” she said.
And he got down a little, and she hopped onto his back, and he stood straight back up.
“Am I heavy?” she asked.
“My two-piece swimsuit girlfriend is light,” he said to her.
“Do you feel good, Flanders?” she asked.
“I do for sure,” he said. “Do you feel good, Louisiana?”
“I do at that, boyfriend,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend. “Where should we go now that we are piggyback riding?” she then asked.
“Let’s go and follow the train,” he said.
“The one that we just rode?” she asked.
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“That one,” he said.
“It is a slow train good for sightseers,” she said. “But walkers cannot keep up with it, Flanders.”
“Then I shall follow along the little tracks,” he said to her.
“That will enable us to go all around Bay Beach in its perimeter,” said Miss Lasser.
In a festive mood, Flanders said, “Pray God that neither one of us get hit by the train.”
“I pray God that it is not us who gets hit by the little train,” prayed the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend in some comic petition.
And Flanders began giving his two-piece swimsuit girlfriend her piggyback ride alongside the little train tracks on their outer side.
As she rode her boyfriend’s back, Louisiana went on to thank God for her being able to live in Wisconsin: “Thank You, Lord, that I get to live in a part of the world where I can enjoy all four seasons as they are right here. Thank You for Spring’s thaw. Thank You for Summer’s heat. Thank You for Fall’s leaves. Thank You for Winter’s cold. We people from Wisconsin have to rake leaves and shovel snow. In De Pere, the city has its leaf collection not only in Fall, but also in Spring.
And in DePere, we residents have twenty-four hours after the snowstorm ends to begin to shovel our sidewalks. And we must also salt our sidewalks. And there is mowing that we have to do in the city. Some of us have regular lawn mowers; some of us have riding lawn mowers. I love it when the lawn is nice and green. Wisconsin is full of green—both in its grass and in its leaves. And Wisconsin is full of waters—ponds and creeks and lakes and channels and rivers—even cold Lake Michigan which stays cold all the summer long. The bay is all dirty and polluted, though, just like the Fox River. But that’s because of all of the paper mills here in Green Bay and in De Pere. Praise You for all of the jobs that these paper mills provide for the workers here in Wisconsin. About the only thing bigger than paper mills in Green Bay are the Green Bay Packers themselves. We are the smallest city in the N.F.L. to
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have a professional football team. Buffalo with its Bills is the second-smallest N.F.L. city. Green Bay is a growing city. We passed one hundred thousand residents some years ago. We are still bigger than Kenosha and Racine down close to Milwaukee. But we are only half as big as Madison. And Milwaukee is a good five of us. But they’re boxed in: Milwaukee cannot grow much more now the way it is. The same with Allouez here, a suburb of Green Bay. The village of Allouez is blocked in between the Fox River and the East River, and it cannot grow anymore. Allouez is a residential village. As for Ashwaubenon, also a suburb of Green Bay, that village is mainly stores and restaurants and businesses. I used to think that Lambeau Field might technically be in Ashwaubenon and not in Green Bay per se. I used to say to be clever, ‘The Ashwaubenon Packers.’ But then I found out that our stadium is nonetheless in the borders of the city of Green Bay. In 1956 the city of Green Bay annexed a plot of land from the then town of Ashwaubenon in order to build Lambeau Field. Hence 1265 Lombardi Avenue, the home of the rightfully called ‘Green Bay Packers,’ this new stadium having opened in 1957.” Then her prayer stopped.
He said, “I’ve been looking at your polka dots, girlfriend.”
“Not on my swimsuit cups,” she said.
“Your swimsuit cups are behind my head. I do not have eyes behind my head,” he teased her.
“Then not down there where you’re not supposed to look,” she said.
“That part of your two-piece swimsuit is behind my back,” he said.
“Then upon the edges of my two-piece swimsuit skirt, boyfriend,” she said.
“Resting upon my arms as I carry you, woman,” he said.
“Are you getting tired carrying me in my piggyback ride yet, Flanders?” she asked.
“Does Brett Favre get tired of throwing touchdown passes?” he asked.
“No,” replied the two-piece swimsuit girl.
“Then I am not getting tired giving my two-piece swimsuit girlfriend a piggyback ride here at
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Bay Beach,” he replied.
“And I am surely not at all done enjoying my piggyback ride either, boyfriend,” she said.
“Is this fun for you?” he asked.
“This is!” she said. “Are you having fun, also?’
“I am!” he said.
Then he turned off away from the tracks and came up to the shores of the bay. He said, “The maps all call this bay, ‘Green Bay.’ But we people go ahead and call it ‘The bay of Green Bay.’”
“The city of Green Bay must be much better known than this bay of Green Bay,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend. “That must be why it is so called by us.”
A silence passed between the dating saved couple. The only sounds that they now listened to were the pounding of the waves upon the northern shores of Bay Beach Amusement Park right here.
Flanders asked, “Do you hear the waves, Louisiana?”
“I do, Flanders,” said Miss Lasser.
“They so sound like Heaven to me,” he said.
“They do to me, also,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“The Bible says that the voice of the Lord Jesus is as ‘the sound of many waters,’” said Flanders.
“They are awful peaceful to listen to,” she praised the coming in of the waves.
“Do you think that there shall be roaring waves to stand in front of and to listen to in Heaven, Louisiana?” he asked.
“Heaven is truly a Place of beauty of sight and beauty of sound, Flanders. I’d bet,” said Miss Lasser.
“And my Heaven will be a place of seagulls, too,” he said.
“Where there are waves, there are usually also seagulls, Flanders,” said the two-piece swimsuit
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girlfriend.
“I love the song of the seagulls and the flight of the seagulls and the white and gray of the seagulls, O Louisiana,” he said to her.
“Are seagulls your favorite birds, Flanders?” she asked him.
“Yes. Even more so than our American Bald Eagles, girl,” he proclaimed.
“Are there seagulls waiting for you in Heaven, Flanders?” asked the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“The Bible does not tell us that,” he said. “But I’m sure that when I get to Heaven, I will be with the seagulls.”
“I think that I like seagulls a lot now, too,” said Miss Lasser.
“But I love the song of the crickets the best of all,” said Flanders.
“Yeah! Crickets and their call,” agreed the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“I used to think that crickets only chirped in the countrysides,” said Flanders. “But then I heard them in the city, too.”
“They start chirping at night some time into summer,” she said.
“Yeah, Louisiana,” he said. “I now know all about them. When they begin chirping for the year, that tells me that summer is making progress toward fall; that there is some time yet for summer to come to pass; and then fall begins not long later.”
“They must be like a sign of the halfway point of a Wisconsin summer,” said Louisiana Lasser.
“I think so,” he said. “Truly crickets will make their melodies for me for forever Up in Heaven.”
“Would you be happy if there were no crickets in Heaven, Flanders?” asked the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“I do not know,” he confessed.
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“What if there were no seagulls in Heaven?” she asked.
“Do not say such things,” he said.
“What if there were no waves in Heaven?” she asked.
“Why would I want to go to Heaven then?” he asked.
“Boyfriend, where does Jesus fit in in your understanding of Heaven?” asked the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“You got me there, Louisiana Lasser,” he said.
“You forgot the Good Lord in your dreams for Heaven,” she did say.
“”I love Christ in my life on Earth daily, stockpiling hours of worship and quiet time with Him as much as I can get. I love the Bible and prayer and church. And I tell the lost all about Jesus wherever I go. And yet, as you have seen in me, I cannot seem to see Him as the focus of Heaven in its Heavenliness,” confessed Flanders. “I know what waves and seagulls and crickets look like and sound like. But I do not know personally what Jesus looks like and sounds like in His Person. And this mystery of God seems to cause me these kinds of telltale oversights that show me lacking much in my faith. I am sorry for having forgotten about my personal Saviour in my everlasting life to come, Louisiana. Though I love the Lord here from Earth, I do not seem to love His appearing in the imminent rapture of the believers. And for that I am in sin. I will never get that crown of righteousness promised in the Bible to all those born-again Christians who want to go to Heaven to see Jesus. I have a grave sin problem that only God can help me to overcome. I cannot do it on my own. Only the Lord can change me that way. My heart will never be right with Jesus until I also can learn to love the Lord’s appearing. I can see that you do not have that in you, Louisiana. You brought it up, because you could see that in me.”
“The Bible talks about the crown of righteousness for those Christians who want to go to be with Christ in Heaven?” asked the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend in enlightenment.
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“Yes. It does,” said Flanders. “It’s in II Timothy 4:8, and this is what it says:” And he recited this Scripture to her, saying, “Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.”
“What does a woman or a man do with this crown of righteousness, Flanders?” asked the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“He will give it right back to Jesus at His throne in Heaven and say, ‘Thank You, Lord, for this crown. Because of You, I earned this crown. And to You I give back Your crown,’” said Flanders.
“I won’t get to go around and wear this crown of righteousness on my pretty red head Up There?” asked Miss Lasser.
“It will have come from Jesus, and it will come back to Jesus,” said Flanders.
“A two-piece swimsuit girl like myself could give up her straw hat for a crown like that,” joked Louisiana Lasser.
“Don’t be too sure that you will get this crown, woman,” rebuked Flanders her inappropriate levity.
“I’d like to go to Heaven and see what Jesus looks like,” said the girl.
“Is there anything on Earth that you would not want to give up in order to go Home to be with Jesus?” he tested her.
“I am willing to give everything up and run away with God to Heaven,” claimed Miss Lasser.
“Everything?” he asked.
“Even my two-piece swimsuit,” she promised in certainty.
“How about your Christmas carols?” he tested her in his knowledge of her worship life.
“I love all Christmas carols,” she said. “Surely if there are great Christmas carols to listen to in my walk with Christ down here on Earth, I can still hear those same Christmas carols Up in Glory in
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my life to come with my Saviour.”
“Shall I bring us both back to our route, Louisiana?” asked Flanders, his two-piece swimsuit girlfriend on his back yet.
“Yes. Let’s go back by the little railroad train tracks,” she said. “We’re done talking about and looking at these nice big waves.”
And he continued her piggyback ride back upon the green grass of the park and alongside the tracks. He then asked her, “What if Christmas carols in Heaven are different from Christmas carols on Earth?”
“I only know the ones on Earth,” she said.
“What if you don’t like the ones in Heaven?” he asked.
“They will be the same. I’m sure of that. They have to be,” she said.
“Tell me again the name that you give to Heaven,” he said, knowing his two-piece swimsuit girlfriend-in-the-Lord better than did anybody else.
“I call ‘Heaven’ ‘The Land of “The First Noel.”’” she told him.
“And why is This called for you, ‘The Land of “The First Noel?”’” he asked her.
“Because Heaven is the most beautiful Place in the universe,” said Miss Lasser. “’The First Noel’ is the most beautiful song in our church’s whole hymnbook. Surely the most beautiful Place in the universe would have the most beautiful Christmas carol in It to make It beautiful.”
“You do not think that Christ’s regal glory will make Heaven beautiful?” he asked her.
“Yeah. It is mainly Him,” Louisiana corrected herself. “Oh, what I said, Flanders.”
“Your words gave away your heart,” he said to her. “You, like myself, do seem to forget about Jesus in our dreams of what Heaven will be for us.”
“Yeah. And in my case it is not just one Christmas carol, but all Christmas carols,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend-in-Christ.
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“You showed me your second-favorite book many times, girlfriend,” he said to her.
“My hardcover book of Christmas carols,” she said.
“You value your own King James Bible indeed not much more than you value your book of carols, Louisiana,” Flanders said.
“You know what your two-piece swimsuit girlfriend tells you about her three favorites in that book of Christmas carols, Flanders,” said Miss Lasser.
“Your first-in-command–’The First Noel’–that’s the carol that you will hear the saints sing in Heaven,” he began. “Then your second-in-command–’Hark! The Herald Angels Sing!’–that’s the carol that you will hear the angels sing in Heaven. Then your third-in-command–’O Come, All Ye Faithful’–that’s the carol that you will sing in Heaven.”
“And here I had thought that I had Heaven all figured out,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“A saint like us cannot understand Heaven unless first he or she recognizes Jesus to be why Heaven is Heaven,” confessed Flanders, his own heart falling short of the glory of God, as well.
“It sounds to be a heart issue,” said Miss Lasser, reflecting upon her spiritual shortcoming. “I don’t know about you, boyfriend. But I sure hope that I don’t come home to Heaven before all of this gets fixed up within me.”
“We can pray, and God can help us to repent,” said Flanders.
“The Lord can do that,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“I would think, though, Louisiana, that whatever is not right in the both of us in this life, God will make right inside of us the moment we first enter our life to come Up There,” said Flanders.
“I still hope that my heart can become right with my Saviour about the rapture in my time still down here,” said Miss Lasser.
“You do not want to wait till the rapture before your heart is right with Jesus,” said Flanders.
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“The crown of righteousness, as you told me it is called, depends on it,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend in spiritual discernment.
“I feel the same way about myself,” he said. “My heart needs the same thing that your heart needs.”
“The Bible is a Book with answers to life,” said Louisiana. “Do you know about any Scripture verses that talk about loving God with our hearts, Flanders?”
“I know three such verses that all say much the same thing, but in different words,” he said.
“Tell me one,” she said.
And he told her one, saying, “’And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.’ Deuteronomy 6:5.”
“Tell me another one,” she requested.
And he told her another one, saying, “’Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.’ Matthew 22:37.”
“Tell me the last one, boyfriend,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
And he told her the last one, saying to her, “’And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.’ Mark 12:30.”
“Boyfriend, do you think that we could stop our piggyback ride romance for just a moment and sit down alone together nearby and pray that God can teach us to live those three commandments that you just recited for us?” asked the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“We can have a prayer meeting together—you and I—right here and right now, O Louisiana,” said Flanders.
“I have hope,” said Louisiana Lasser.
“And I have faith,” said Flanders Nickels.
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Flanders sat down in this nice green park grass, and Louisiana sat down in front of him, tucking her skirt portion of her swimsuit bottom underneath herself where she sat. Their special impromptu prayer circle was about twenty feet from the little train tracks. And they were at the far end of Bay Beach Amusement Park, well beyond the pavilion and in the middle of nowhere.
The two-piece swimsuit girl said, “You’re the man. You get to go first.”
They bowed their heads for prayer out loud. Just then a screechy voice of a young lady cried out to them, “Louisiana, you’re not doing what I think you’re doing. Are you?”
And right after that a husky voice of a burly fellow called out to them, “Don’t be doing stuff like what you’re doing in public, Flanders!”
And the bell of the little train began to ring. Behold, the woman Penelope, Louisiana’s persecutor for being a believer. Behold, the man Brute, Flanders’s bully for living for Christ. They were both riding the little train, in the first car after the engine car.
And Penelope and Brute jumped out of their little car and began to walk toward the two prayer-warriors sitting upon the ground. The two Christians were for now providentially hindered from their prayer meeting by these two people sent from Satan. And boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-the-Lord got to their feet and confronted their foes. And the two enemies of Christians stood before the two children of God. Penelope was thin and gaunt, but she towered over Louisiana, and she was a scrappy gang woman. Brute, was short and muscular, and his biceps could twist Flanders into a pretzel.
“You weren’t going to do something like praying. Were you, Flanders?” asked Brute.
“I was, Brute,” said Flanders, afraid and yet offended.
And Penelope said, “Louisiana, do not even think to force your Jesus on me. I was enjoying a nice train ride until I saw you and what you were about to do.”
“I shall not deny my Jesus, Penelope,” said the two-piece swimsuit girl in a stand for Christ.
“Too bad, Flanders,” said Brute.
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And Penelope said, “I thought that I had told you not to do things like that, Louisiana.”
“Do you think to stop me from worshiping my Saviour, Brute?” asked Flanders. “You may have won the fights, but you never could stop me from my worship.”
“Well, this time, Flanders, I will have to stop you from your worship once and for all,” threatened Brute with a malevolent tone to his voice.
“And Penelope, have you ever made me quit my worship before in any of the times that you came and interfered?” asked Miss Lasser.
“This time will be different, Louisiana,” said Penelope with a Devil’s vengeance against Christ.
“I will put an end to any more of your prayers for the rest of your life.” This time it sounded like she meant it.
Lo, Brute grabbed Flanders’s head with his right hand, brought it in toward himself, and began to squeeze Flanders’s head in a most powerful headlock.
And, right after that, Penelope hauled off and socked Louisiana in the gut with a right. The two-piece swimsuit girl gave out a grunt, put her hands to her belly, and fell down to her knees.
Flanders could not extricate his head from Brute’s biceps and triceps. And his eyes were losing their focus. And his head felt like it were being pressed in. And his ears felt like they were bleeding.
As for Louisiana, she rallied and got back to her feet, breathed in, breathed out, and thought to sock Penelope back. But Penelope struck her again first. The street girl hauled off and threw a punch, a left, right into the two-piece swimsuit girl’s nose. And Miss Lasser fell down right upon her bottom. She sat there in a stun. She put her hands to her nose. She found blood on both hands. Her nose felt like it were broken.
In her private thoughts, the beaten up Miss Lasser doubted the Presence of God with her here this moment at Bay Beach.
In his private thoughts, the overpowered Flanders thought to pray in his silent thoughts for God
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to give them so great deliverance. But he waxed bold in Christ and prayed out loud for so great deliverance, saying, “Father, I pray Thee to fight for us and with us. In Your Son’s name. Amen.”
And God Almighty struck the two aggressors in a veritable comic-relief. Penelope called forth, “Let me help you, Brute.”
And he said, in a double-negative, “I don’t need no help.”
In insistence, Penelope said, “I’ll sock the guy the same way that I socked the gal.”
“Don’t go and rain on my parade,” said Brute. “I can handle Flanders just fine by myself.”
Heedless to Brute’s wishes, Penelope hauled off and swung a roundhouse right toward the back of Flanders’s head. Lo, she accidentally boxed Brute upon his ear. And Brute cursed the name of Penelope, and he let go of Flanders with his right arm. Flanders fell to his hands and knees and stayed there for a while.
Now Louisiana rallied and stood back up again. Brute said, “That’s it, Penelope. Now I will go and take out your woman, but not the way you botched up trying to take out my man.”
Flanders was getting his orientation back again. And the bell of the little train was ringing and coming back around. He could see clearly again.
And Brute gave the two-piece swimsuit girl a push with both of his palms where she stood. But he was not fighting smart. When he pushed Miss Lasser, he ended up pushing her right into Penelope.
And Penelope was knocked backwards off of her feet and bottom-first upon the little train tracks. And Louisiana was kept from falling because of Penelope blocking her fall, and the two-piece swimsuit girl was still on her feet. And the little train was quickly approaching, its conductor looking back at his passengers and telling about the park. And the bell of the little train rang again.
“Stupid jackass, get off the tracks already,” snapped Brute.
Flanders got back to his feet. Miss Lasser thought to rescue Penelope. Penelope stuck her tongue out at Brute where she sat. Brute said to her, “Fine. Have it your way.” And the conductor
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turned back to look ahead. And it was too late to stop. Not knowing what to do, the conductor went ahead to ring the bell again. Quickly Penelope rolled over and off of the tracks just in time. And in so doing, she rolled right into Brute’s ankles where he was reaching out to save her. And this collision made Brute fall headfirst right into the engine car. And he was knocked backwards from this crash and landed upon the back of his head in the grass. And in his fall, his powerful frame fell hard upon the form of Penelope who was on her hands and knees. And Brute accidentally crushed Penelope between his self and the green grass. The bell rang again. And the train kept on going by, all of the passengers wondering about the two accident victims alongside of these tracks. And the fight was completely taken out of the two persecutors of Christ.
Resilient, Brute was down only for a moment. And wiry, Penelope lay there dazed for just a little while. Then both got back to their feet. Brute said, “Flanders, I do not want to mess with you again. I cannot fight against God and win.”
And Penelope said, “I punched you hard, Louisiana. But your God punched me harder. I quit with you for now on.”
And Brute grabbed Penelope by her wrist, jerked her forward with a tug, and made her run with him away from the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend and her boyfriend, never to persecute them again.
The Good Lord answered Flanders’s prayer in his and Miss Lasser’s duress, and their chronic persecutors were never going to persecute them again.
“Thank God,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“Now that part of our lives is done with,” said Flanders with a sigh of relief and with gratitude to God.
“Now we can do our prayer meeting,” said Louisiana.
“That God help us to repent and to earn our crowns of righteousness,” averred Flanders.
God’s peace and order and blessing back upon them now, Flanders and his two-piece swimsuit
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girlfriend sat back down in the grass. “How do you feel?” Flanders asked after the big fight.
“My belly is a little sore yet. And my nose hurts. But my bleeding stopped. And I am ready for prayer,” said Louisiana. “How do you feel?”
“My ears did not bleed after all. My head hurts bad yet. But I can see fine again now. I am ready to pray, too, now,” said Flanders.
And Flanders and his two-piece swimsuit girlfriend had a long prayer meeting there in the grass in the park outside for almost an hour—first him, then her.
Then they looked up from their prayers. Miss Lasser said, “I don’t know. I don’t feel anything different inside myself right now, Flanders.”
“We must give God time to work it out in His way, girlfriend,” said Flanders, full of faith.
“I can see that the God who answered your prayer in the big fight is the same God who will answer the prayers of our prayer meeting after the big fight,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend in good faith.
“Let’s continue our date today at Bay Beach Amusement Park and wait upon God to finish what He starts in us,” said Flanders.
“We are halfway around the perimeter of the park,” said Louisiana.
“We can now finish the second half of our piggyback rides,” said Flanders.
“That means that now is my turn to carry,” said Miss Lasser.
“And now it is my turn to ride,” he said.
“Are you excited, boyfriend?” she asked.
“I am too excited to wait,” he said.
“Hop on my back, Flanders,” said the two-piece swimsuit girl. “And be careful with all of my strings.”
“I shall, Louisiana,” he said.
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She lowered her back, and he mounted her, and she stood up straight. He put his arms around her neck and his legs along her sides. And she put her hands underneath his bent knees. “Ready, Flanders?” asked the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“Ready, girl,” he said. “Giddy-up.”
“Giddy-up is for horseback rides between us, not piggyback rides between us,” she teased him with a play on words.
“What does a guy say to his girl in piggyback rides, Louisiana?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” she said. “Get along, little piggy?”
And without further ado, the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend began to give her boyfriend his piggyback ride along the little railroad tracks back to the first side of Bay Beach near the roller coaster.
In reminiscence, Flanders said, “Remember how we first met, Louisiana?”
“Uh huh, boyfriend,” said Louisiana. “Remember how you found my two-piece swimsuit for me?”
“Yes! Yes!” he said.
Both events happened at the same place for the both of them. Flanders discovered first the two-piece swimsuit, and second the girl. Louisiana found first the boy, and second the swimsuit.
Flanders went on to tell their story from his perspective, “I was doing my fun mall thing again that Saturday all afternoon as I did back then in summer. I was going from store to store to look at all of the women’s swimwear racks I could find. Being a guy, I could not buy any swimsuit like that for myself. But, being a guy, that did not mean that I could not get good looks at them in the department stores. My diversion almost always was all about one-piece swimsuits only. You know how I always found one-piece swimsuit women to be sexier than two-piece swimsuit women, Louisiana.”
“Until you found mine and myself, boyfriend,” interjected the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“That one was irresistible,” said Flanders about that first day. “What a catch!” He then
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continued, “Well, I was at the Boston Store, at Port Plaza Mall in Green Bay here. I was at my favorite place in the world—a ladies’ swimwear department. I was feeling the sensual fabric of the brand new maillots on the racks in my hands. And I was adoring them with my eyes. I even sneaked a few smells with my nose. I was admiring the labels. I was checking out the sizes. I was finding out how much they cost. And I was praying that God give me a one-piece swimsuit girlfriend who would wear one of these maillots for me. What could be more exciting for a lonely man like myself than to spend time with a pretty woman at a swimwear rack like this? A hundred dollars would not be too much money for me to spend on such a girlfriend for a swimming suit. Then I saw a different type of swimsuit than any of my traditional one-piece swimsuits that I always favored in my summertime browsing. It was a two-piece swimsuit in itself unlike any other two-piece swimsuit that I had seen before. The top was a traditional triangle-cup string bikini—my longtime favorite type of bikini top at that, Louisiana. But the bottom piece was one with a nice tempting skirt portion to it. Now my longtime favorite type of two-piece swimsuit bottoms for a girl had always been what they call a ‘side-tie bikini bottom’—one with lots of seductive strings along the hips . But this two-piece swimsuit skirt—indeed more covering and more material than the side-tie bottom–was more compelling to me. And it became my new favorite bikini bottom. And both pieces were all white with lots of black polka dots. And the black band around the top of the skirt bottom aroused me. I just had to have this. And, even though I was not a woman, I just had to buy it. Maybe God would see my faith and send me a girl someday who would need this more than I did. It was a size eight. I picked it up in its hanger. I looked at its price tag. I could afford it for myself. I would put it in my favorite desk drawer. And I would have a treasure second only to my Holy Bible. I was just about to go to the check out lane with this. Then I bumped into you.”
“Or I bumped into you,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend, sharing this reminiscence. And Louisiana Lasser then went on to tell her side of their first day together at the Boston Store. “I saw a
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real cute guy with teeth that stuck outward. He was in the women’s department of the Boston Store. And he was touching swimsuits of the opposite gender. At first I thought him to be a pervert. But then I decided that he had a little fetish. And then he picked up a hanger with a two-piece swimsuit that was white with black polka dots. I fell in love with it at first sight. I had to have that swimming suit. Being a Christian woman, I felt that that skirty swimsuit bottom would be all right with God for me to wear. And I loved the top for its triangles. This guy I was watching was studying this as he held it up. I sneaked up behind him to look at it. And I said, ‘Where’s the girl?’
I startled him. And he straightened his posture, and I leaned down a little. And we bumped into each other head against head. We laughed together out loud. And he turned to look at me, and his face lit up with a crush. And he said, ‘Miss, you could be the girl, if you’d like.’
“Nice two-piece swimsuit.’ I said.
‘I was just about to buy it,’ he said.
‘What size is it?’ I asked.
‘Size eight,’ he said.
“That’s I,” I said. ‘I’m size eight.’
‘You’re a very pretty woman,’ he said to me. ‘Could I buy this for you?’
‘It’s the nicest thing that I have ever seen—except for my Bible,’ I said to him.
‘This is the nicest two-piece swimsuit in all of the malls this year,’ he said to me. ‘Truly God brought me here this day.’
‘What a lucky woman I am in the Lord to discover a swimming suit and a boyfriend in the same place,’ I said.
And he said, ‘This day I have found a pretty girlfriend and a swimsuit to cover her up with.’ ‘We can go out to the beach like this,’ I said.
And he said, ‘We can go out everywhere like this.’
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“What kind of name does my boyfriend have?’ I asked.
And he said, ‘Flanders Nickels, miss. What kind of name does my two-piece swimsuit girlfriend go by?’
And I said, ‘Louisiana Lasser.’
‘A most alluring alliteration,’ he told me.
And right away we went and had our first date. He bought me this.” And the Miss Lasser in her remembrances at Bay Beach this day, lifted an edge of her bikini bottom skirt in indication. “And I went into the dressing room to put it on at once. And we left the store. And we went to Ashwaubemay Park. There was that park’s man made swimming lake. And we jumped in and had water fights between each other for the first time for the rest of our dating lives together.” Thus the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend finished her story of how boy and girl had first met.
Flanders went on to say now, “At first neither one of us wanted to jump in. Your bikini was right off of the rack. We wanted to take extra good care with it.”
“But then I went and said, ‘Flanders, forbid the thought that a young woman get her two-piece swimsuit wet,’” said Louisiana Lasser.
“Then we both decided that it was okay for us to splash around in the park’s little swimming lake,” said Flanders. “How did it feel?’
“It felt great dry, and it felt even better wet,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“Oh, to be a woman,” he said in envy.
“This is all mine, and none of yours,” said Miss Lasser, putting her hands to her black band above the skirt portion in indication.
“What size do you think that I would be in women’s swimwear sizes?” he asked.
“I would say a size fourteen,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“It would not fit me,” he said in resignation.
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“My guy will not wear my swimming suit,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“I am no drag queen,” he did say.
“We are born-again believers living for Christ,” said Miss Lasser.
“We are not cross dressers—you and I,” said Flanders.
“My legs are getting tired, boyfriend,” said Louisiana.
“We are already getting close to our starting point of our piggyback rides,” said Flanders.
“You gave me my ride in the first half, and I gave you your ride in the second half,” said Louisiana.
“I see the giant slide just up ahead. That’s the last thing in this park before this park ends off in that direction,” said Flanders.
“I wonder if the Lord will answer our prayers, Flanders,” said Miss Lasser.
“If not today, surely not too long down the road from today,” said Flanders.
“I want to learn in my heart to love the Lord’s appearing,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“Today would be better than tomorrow about something like that,” agreed Flanders Nickels.
And now rider and carrier were behind the big blue slide. “We have come back to the starting place,” said Louisiana.
“Must I get off?” he asked.
“This piggyback ride makes me almost as sore as when I get punched by that wily Penelope,” exaggerated the two-piece swimsuit girl in flirt.
And Flanders got down from off her back. Nobody was around the two Christians here at the near edge of Bay Beach Amusement Park. It was strange that thus was so when the far edge of Bay Beach Amusement Park was more likely to be the isolated part of this park. Just then the two Christians heard the noise of many waters saying unto them, “Come to the bay, My children.” Neither
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of these two Bay Beach park visitors had walked out onto the bay at this edge of the amusement park before.
The two-piece swimsuit girlfriend asked, “What should we do, Flanders?”
And Flanders said, “Obey the Lord.” And hand-in-hand they ran quickly out to the bay in an isolated little land. And there stood Christ in all of His uttermost divine and utmost regal Glory as God manifest in the flesh!
At once Flanders fell on his knees before Christ, and he said, “My Lord and my God!”
And the two-piece swimsuit girl fell to her knees before Jesus and declared, “My Lord and my Master!”
“My son and My daughter,” said the Lord. “I have heard your prayers. And I have seen the integrity of your actions. And I have seen the sincerity of your heart. And I have felt the repentance that you desire about the rapture. I have come. I will teach you what you need to know. I will now answer your prayers that you do petition Me for. Wait now upon the Lord, and I shall make all things right. Simply behold, and all will be right in your hearts.”
Flanders and Louisiana obeyed Jesus and looked up at Him where they knelt. Then Jesus said, “First, I shall answer your prayer, Flanders. Second I will answer your prayer, Louisiana.”
And Jesus said, “Attend, My son, to this vision that I will show you. You shall learn to love me more than you do waves and seagulls and crickets.”
And, behold, Flanders was alone with God in a land of fog. He could not see his two-piece swimsuit girlfriend now. He could see no other Bay Beach visitors. He was not even at Bay Beach right now. All he could see was Jesus and this peaceful void. There was no sound. There was no other life. There was no land. There were no waters. Here with Flanders Nickels was only God Almighty Himself, the Creator and Maker of all. Jesus then spoke His Word and said, “Let there be waves.”
Behold, waves! Flanders could see the waves. Flanders could hear the waves. Flanders could
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even feel the waves as they pounded ashore and came up to his feet. These waves were all truly sublime. Flanders had just seen Christ create the waves for which he desired Heaven. And his understanding was opened up. As sublime as these waves were, truly their Maker was even more sublime than the waves. The creator of all waves of the Earth was surely the reason for Heaven’s desirability now for Flanders. And, just like that, waves were no longer a false idol in Flanders’s heart for the rapture. He now loved the Lord’s appearing more than he did the waves’ appearing regarding the blessed hope of the believer. “Behold, this is good,” said the Maker.
Then the waves ceased. And the waves were quiet. And the waves were gone. Then Jesus spoke His next Word, and He said, “Let there be seagulls.”
Behold, flocks and flocks of seagulls coming into this celestial limbo from outside of its boundaries. Their song sang forth from their beaks. Their wings flapped with the beauty of flight. Their grays and their whites glistened in this limbo land. Flanders had just witnessed the Creator create the very birds that had made Flanders’s dreams for Heaven so anticipated. And he learned much wisdom. If these many seagulls were so ethereal to him, surely how much more ethereal was the Maker Who had just made them right now? The Creator of Heaven and Earth was the reason for Glory Up Above—not mortal seagulls who lived and died and returned to the Earth. And right away Flanders now worshipped Jesus and no longer worshipped His seagulls. Flanders wanted to be raptured right now not to be with seagulls, but to be with his Saviour. “Behold, this is good,” said the Creator.
Then the seagulls all began to fly away out of this vision, and soon they were all gone. Once again Flanders was alone with Christ in this dream and its dreamland. And Jesus spoke His Word a third time, saying, “Let there be crickets.”
Behold, a grassy meadow like unto Wisconsin’s northern countrysides, full of singing crickets.
Crickets were chirping their paradisiacal song. Crickets were leaping about like grasshoppers. And the feel of paradise exuded from this field of countryside in this dream and its demesne with Jesus. The
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most wise Designer had just made crickets and had given them the wonders of life. And Flanders came to consider Jesus as more wonderful now than he did His crickets. Flanders remembered how in Isaiah 9:6 God’s Word said that Jesus’s name shall be called “Wonderful.” Now the rapture was none about coming Home to the seagulls and all about coming Home to his Saviour. Where all crickets had once made Heaven its Paradise to Flanders, the real Heaven with Jesus Christ was now to him the best Paradise. How he now loved Jesus—both down here in this life and down here in anticipation of the life to come. Then Jesus said, “Behold, this is good.”
And just like that a gentle zephyr came upon this domain in its vision, and it drove all of the crickets away from the land and out to the waters. Soon the crickets were all gone. But Jesus was still here. And Flanders was elated. His soul and his spirit now had the heart that would give him his crown of righteousness in Heaven to come before the Good Lord. Then Jesus said, “Go and live for the promised crown for the rest of your life, My good and faithful servant.” And in obedience, Flanders stepped back.
Then with His Word, God said, “My faithful daughter, proceed. I shall answer your prayers at this moment.” And the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend approached the standing Jesus and came herself upon a fog and a place and a vision. She stood alone before Him, and He said to her, “Good Louisiana, enjoy the dream that I am putting you in and learn from it with efficacy. I shall teach you to love Me more than you do your Christmas carol.”
In reverence Miss Lasser got down upon her knees before her Almighty God. But this Jesus said to her, “My daughter, stand.” In obeisance she got back to her feet. He said to her, “O two-piece swimsuit girl, would you sing for Me?”
“My Lord, what shall I sing for You, and I will sing it,” said Louisiana.
“The carol that you wish to hear in Heaven I will that you sing to me in this haven,” said Jesus.
“’The First Noel,’ O Lord Jesus?” she asked, herself in a whirlwind of passions.
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“’The First Noel,’ O My repentant daughter,” affirmed Jesus. “Sing for me a carol of Christmas.”
Standing before Jesus, the two-piece swimsuit Christian woman, fervid in worship and fervent in Christ, went ahead to sing of Jesus and His birth before Him in this strange new land that He had made in this place that was once a corner of Bay Beach Amusement Park:
“1. The first noel the angel did say
Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay–
In fields where they lay keeping their sheep,
On a cold winter’s night that was so deep.
Noel, noel! Noel, noel!
Born is the King of Israel!
2. They looked up and saw a star
Shining in the east, beyond them far;
And to the earth it gave great light,
And so it continued both day and night,
Noel, noel! Noel, noel!
Born is the King of Israel!
3. And by the light of that same star,
Three wise men came from country far;
To seek for a king was their intent,
And to follow the star wherever it went.
Noel, noel! Noel, noel!
Born is the King of Israel!
4. This star drew nigh to the northwest,
O’er Bethlehem it took its rest;
And there it did both stop and stay,
Right over the place where Jesus lay.
Noel, noel! Noel, noel!
Born is the King of Israel!
5. Then entered in those wise men three,
Full rev’rently upon their knee,
And offered there, in His presence,
Their gold and myrrh and frankincense.
Noel, noel! Noel, noel!
Born is the King of Israel!
6. Then let us all with one accord
Sing praises to our heav’nly Lord,
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That hath made heav’n and earth of naught,
And with His blood mankind hath bought.
Noel, noel! Noel, noel!
Born is the King of Israel!”
This place must be Heaven. And this was what Heaven was all about. It was all about Jesus.
It was all about singing Christmas carols and good hymns to Jesus. It was all about Jesus seeing her and hearing her singing Christmas carols and good hymns to Him. It was all about seeing Jesus. It was all about hearing Jesus. It was all about walking and talking with Jesus. It was all about spending time with Jesus in the flesh. It was all about worshiping Jesus before His very Presence in His regal Glory. It was all about worshiping Jesus before His very Presence. It was all about being one-on-one with Jesus. It was all about being with all the hosts of Heaven—the saints and the angels—before the throne of Jesus. Just as Jesus was the “the reason for the season” of Christmas, in like Jesus was the reason for the Heavenliness of Heaven. He was Lord God of Heaven and Earth. And she now loved her Saviour with all of her heart.
Understanding her thoughts of enlightenment, Jesus said to her, “This vision is not Heaven in its fulness. Rather this dream is an allegory of Heaven. My daughter, you have now learned to love the rapture for My appearing and not for filling up your heart with the melodies of Christmas carols.”
Indeed, now the two-piece swimsuit girl saw the Good Lord as more attractive than “The First Noel.”
Then Jesus said to her, “My carol you have most well sung, O wise daughter.”
“Thank You, O Jesus,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“The crown of righteousness awaits you after the rapture, O blessed Louisiana,” said Jesus.
“Thank You, O Lord,” said Miss Lasser.
“Go and live the rest of your life in anticipation of My soon appearing in the clouds, O good young woman,” said Jesus. In obedience, the two-piece swimsuit girl stepped back.
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Behold, the Lord and the domain and the vision was gone. And the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend again found herself with her Christian boyfriend on this shore. The look on his face told her that God had given him his prayer request. And the look on her face said the same about God and her same prayer request. Both now wanted to be in Heaven to come for the one right reason. The Saviour was There!
“Alleluia, girl!” said Flanders, knowing the good that had come upon her.
“Hallelujah, cute boyfriend,” said Louisiana, rejoicing with him for his blessing from God.
“Shall we go to Bay Beach Wildlife Sanctuary and look around, Louisiana?” he asked.
“I’d like that,” she said.
Bay Beach Wildlife Sanctuary was just down the road from this Bay Beach Amusement Park
and on the other side of East Shore Drive.
“We can talk about Jesus’s Heaven,” said Flanders.
He proffered his hand, and she took it in her hand. And they began to walk toward the wildlife sanctuary hand in hand.
“What could we say about Heaven, boyfriend?” asked the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend. They always had lots of things to talk about in their Christian lives together.
“We can talk about crowns,” said Flanders.
“Our crowns of righteousness, boyfriend,” said Miss Lasser.
“Our crowns of righteousness,” he said in agreement.
“Yours and mine,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“And maybe other crowns if God wills them for us,” said Flanders.
“There are other crowns than the crown of righteousness?” asked Louisiana Lasser.
“Yep!” he said. “The Bible talks about five crowns that the Lord will give to the believer who earns them.”
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“There are four other crowns that we could give back to the Lord Up There?” asked the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“Uh huh,” he said.
“I’ve got to hear all about them,” said Miss Lasser. “What are they called, and what does a girl have to do to earn them?”
“One of them is ‘the incorruptible crown,’” taught Flanders his Christian girlfriend.
“What can a woman like myself do to get that one?” she asked.
“She has to let God control her body in her years as a Christian,” said Flanders.
“I like wearing my two-piece swimsuit, because it is fun for me,” said Louisiana. “Is my doing that not letting Christ control my body?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “You look great in it.”
“And I feel great in it,” she said. Then she said, “What is one of the other crowns that you say are in the Holy Bible, Boyfriend?”
“There is also ‘the crown of glory,’” edified Flanders his two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“What can I do as a young woman to earn that crown?” she asked.
“A woman cannot get that crown. That crown can be earned only by a man,” said Flanders.
“How come?” cried out Miss Lasser. “That’s not fair!”
“That is the crown for the pastors out there who have been faithful in their call from God,” said Flanders to Miss Lasser in Bible truth.
“Oh, that’s different then,” agreed Louisiana. “God calls men to the ministry. But God does not call women to the ministry. I’m all right with that.”
“There is also the crown of life,” said Flanders.
“What’s that one about?” asked Louisiana.
“That’s the hard one,” said Flanders.
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“How can I go about and get that one, if it is all right with God?” asked the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“By much hardship,” he said.
“What makes that one so hard to earn, Flanders?” asked Miss Lasser.
“Because that one is for the Christians who are faithful during life’s trials,” he said. “In another place in the Bible, this same crown is given to the martyrs of Christianity.”
“I never died for Jesus before,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend. “But I do enjoy living for Him, though. I am kind of afraid of going through trials.”
“And last there is ‘the crown of rejoicing,’” said Flanders.
“How can a two-piece swimsuit girlfriend go about and earn that crown?” asked Louisiana Lasser.
“That crown is ‘the soul-winners’ crown,” said Flanders.
“I can win that crown for Jesus!” exclaimed the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
In zeal of Christ, Flanders asked her, “Who do you hope to lead to Christ, O good girlfriend?”
“Our own persecutors, Flanders!” replied Louisiana Lasser.
“Do you mean those two, Louisiana?” asked Flanders Nickels.
“I do, boyfriend,” said Miss Lasser. “I will lead Brute and Penelope to salvation to the glory of God and for their own eternal good.”
“You could end up earning the crown of life by earning the crown of rejoicing,” warned Flanders.
“Then I will have three crowns,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
“Could I help out, too, Louisiana?” asked Flanders. “Brute and Penelope are the two most unsaved people that I have ever known.”
“Yes, boyfriend. I need you,” said the two-piece swimsuit girlfriend.
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And now they were both at the Bay Beach Wildlife Sanctuary. And they spent their time here looking at the animals and talking about how they were going to share the Gospel with his Brute and with her Penelope.
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