Flanders and Proffery begin life on their own in a cabin up north as roommates and best friends and colleagues. Flanders now hopes to adopt a pet Collie whom he will name ‘Shelby.’ Likewise Proffery now seeks a pet German Shepherd whom he will name ‘Trilby.’ Down the road from their cabin the men discover an idyllic sand dunes with a beautiful prom dress girl in green. Her name is ‘Lisa “Gravel” Dryad.’ They fall for her. She tells them all about Christ. But they reject Christ for the cause of dogs. And she must lead them to Christ for the cause of God.
THE PROM DRESS GIRL
By Mr. Morgan P. McCarthy
Flanders and Proffery, best friends, moved in together in a cabin in the north country. Both men were starting life now on their own, having just moved out of their parents’ home. Flanders was twenty-four years old, and Proffery was twenty-two years old. This cabin was in most rural northern Wisconsin in Marinette County in the town of Beaver on Left Foot Creek. And both men worked at the Crivitz Supermarket, Flanders the frozen manager and Proffery the dairy manager. And the men were not only best friends, but now also fellow workers and roommates. And all of the cabin windows were open here in hot July of summer in Wisconsin.
Their cabin was a one-room cabin with an outhouse out back. A large window was on the front wall along to the right, and a door with a window and with a screen door was on the front wall to the left. The center of each of the other walls had a little window with a screen. The walls and the ceiling were of white wallboard. The floor was of brown tiles. Upon the floor was a little orange rug in the shape of a left foot. This was in honor of Left Foot Creek that flowed through their four acres here.
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Along the front wall were the roommates’ “desks”—simple and most basic; they were but flat boards resting upon standing up cement blocks. Flanders’s desk, to the left, had a red kerosene lantern, pads of yellow wide-ruled writing paper, a box of number four lead writing pencils with pencil cap erasers, and a stack of handwritten stories about Collie dogs. Proffery’s desk, to the right, had a black railroad lantern, a bundle of plain white paper, a pile of drawing pencils of number one and number two and number two-and-one-half and number three and number four and number five leads, and a pile of sketches of German Shepherds. Flanders loved Lassie; Proffery loved Rin Tin Tin. Along the right wall was Flanders’s bed—a raised wooden structure with an air mattress on top—and a chest of drawers. And along the left wall was Proffery’s bed—also a wooden structure with an air mattress on top—and a chest of drawers. Along the back wall was a little gas stove with knobs and a three-shelf wooden bookcase with books all about dogs and a big black oil furnace and a little food pantry. There was no plumbing in this one-room cabin. Left Foot Creek was their water and their sink; and the outhouse was their bathroom.
In the spirit of game, Proffery stood up in this cabin and said, “To the creek, Bro!’”
In mutual understanding Flanders said, “Water fight, Roommate!”
And both men raced down to the creek in challenge, going through the field and through the span in the shrubbery upon the boards and to the banks. They got to the creek at the same time, and they leaped off of the bank at the same time, and they splashed down into the water at the same time. But they both disagreed as to who had won the race. Right after that they began to splash each other with forced torrents of water from their hands and arms and feet and legs. And after a while they both fell down into the creek in fatigue. And the water in which they now sat was up to their necks. After a while, satisfied greatly from Left Foot Creek, the roommates climbed up out of the creek and sat upon the tall green grass of its shores and talked about dogs.
Proffery said, “You know how my mom and dad did not let us kids have a dog in my growing
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up years.”
“Your mom got bit by a dog when she was a kid; your dad loved cats,” said Flanders.
“Yeah,” said Proffery. “And you did not get to have a dog in your childhood either,”
“We were a family living in an apartment. And people in apartments do not usually get to have a dog as a pet,” said Flanders.
“Now we are moved out of our parents,’” said Proffery. “We two love dogs. I can soon find myself a dog of my own.”
“And I am in a cabin, and here I have no landlord who can say to me, ‘Dogs are not allowed,’” said Flanders. “I shall find myself a nice big dog to love and to cherish.”
“You can have your own ‘Lassie.’ not too long from now, Brother,” said Proffery.
“I love all Collies,” said Flanders. “And I shall call her ‘Shelby.’”
“I know all that you want your Shelby to be,” said Proffery. “Two years old, female, tri-color.”
“And resplendent,” said Flanders. “Very resplendent to behold.”
“You know what I look for in my German Shepherd when I find her,” said Proffery.
“Yeah, Best Friend,” said Flanders. “Also two years old and female and majestic, very majestic.”
“And I shall name her, ‘Trilby,’” said Proffery.
“Your very own Rin Tin Tin,” said Flanders.
“The both of us and our life dreams of settling down with a good dog in the country,” said Proffery.
“Indeed all four of us together, Brother,” said Flanders. “Just think what a family that us four will make when our happy days of canine companionship come upon us.”
“All of this is not hard to do for two men like ourselves,” said Proffery. “One way that we can find our special dogs is to check out dog pounds everywhere here up north until we find the right one
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for ourselves.”
“Another way for us to find our beloved new dogs is through the newspaper—the classified ads,” said Flanders.
“Not just ‘Dog for sale,’ but also our own ad for ourselves categorized as ‘Dog wanted to buy,’” said Proffery.
“And there is always ‘word of mouth,’” said Flanders.
“We can tell someone at work that we are looking for a big dog to adopt, and they can tell someone else about our desires, and that someone else can go and tell another person. And, lo, there can come to us the right dog for which we can become her master,” said Proffery.
“And I can find the right Collie for myself; and you, the right German Shepherd for yourself,” said Flanders.
“If we were Christians, we would probably pray to God that He bring the right dog our way,” said Proffery.
“But we are not Christians,” said Flanders.
“I do not want to be one of them,” said Proffery.
“Nor I neither,” said Flanders.
And Christ heard them say that, and He was not well-pleased.
The next day, in the light of late summer evening of the first day of August, Flanders went on a walk alone in these isolated countrysides. Leaving his cabin, he trekked through the tall field grass of his front yard up to the two-rutted road. He then took a right and walked down this two-rutted road up to the intersection. Here were two gravel roads. The gravel road that ran to his right led to the paved highway some few miles and some few turns away. The gravel road that ran straight from where he stood ran farther out into this countryside into even more isolated wilderness. He already knew much about the road that led to the highway; he did not yet know all about the road that led farther out into
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the sticks. He chose to trek down the latter road. And he began his walk.
Having walked for maybe a mile or so on this most rarely traveled gravel road, Flanders saw a
great sight off to the left of where he stood. It was a sand dunes. It was a big sand dunes. A little field of wild brush and weeds lay between this road and that sand dunes. In pleasant wonder and scrutiny he gazed upon them from where he stood on the road. There were slopes throughout its sand. And a lone tree not much taller than himself gave this sand its only shade. Twilight was coming upon Flanders here and upon that little world of sand out there. Twilight of evening enhanced the magic of this sand.
And the sound of little winds came upon that sand, beckoning him to come in and rejoice. And, behold, little whirlwinds of sand suddenly came up upon the dunes, and these gentle whirlwinds began to dance across the surface, spreading the magic sand all about in the air above the ground. Then he saw a form. It was a woman. It was a young woman. She looked more than human. She looked to quite be a dryad. She was a beautiful dryad. And she had on a lustrous green dress. And she began to dance in these swirling little whirlwinds. What an elegant lady in an elegant dress! In fact it looked to be a prom dress. This girl was a prom dress girl. And the prom dress girl did not yet see him admiring her and her sand dunes. Her green prom dress had a bodice that covered her top half decently and had thick strings over her shoulders and had a cute little prom dress jacket with long sleeves and padded shoulders and that reached to nearly her belly. And it had a comely Basque waistline at her middle.
And it had a skirt portion of three flounces that reached halfway down her calves. And it had a big green bow tie in the back just above her bottom. This prom dress shone its sheen of green in great
allure. And over her feet were green pumps. She was delightfully slim of limb and slender of frame.
And her face was as enchanting and as entrancing as her prom dress. This girl’s tresses were long, straight, shoulder-length, brownish-black, with perfect bangs and angelically wispy. Her complexion was a comely unblemished white. She looked to be a woman of her mid-twenties. As he gazed upon the prom dress girl taking in all of these little whirlwinds in dance, she seemed to exude a certain
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elusiveness, as if she did not see him there by the road. She seemed like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow in folklore. She was one with the sand dune. These little whirlwinds were her essence.
From the roadside, Flanders dared speak out unto her, “Young miss.”
The green prom dress girl stopped whirling about, and she looked out upon him from where she stood.
He sought to speak to her again, asking, “May I come up to you, O prom dress girl?”
She paused to regard him. Then she brought her hands together in indecision. She cocked her head to the side in uncertainty. Yet her countenance did pine for him where he stood. Her lips looked about to speak. She spoke not yet.
He spoke a third time to this mysterious young woman, saying, “I would be glad to talk to you if you wouldn’t mind.” And he stepped out into the field on his way to the sand dunes.
Suddenly timorousness filled her features, and she stretched out her arm toward him in disagreement, her flat palm showing to him. He stopped his approach and remained here in the wild little field. She then brought her arm back down at her side. This prom dress girl then spoke to him, and she said to him, “I have the everlasting gospel to preach unto them that dwell on the earth, and to every nation, and kindred, and tongue, and people. I say unto you, Flanders, ‘Fear God, and give glory to Him; for the hour of His judgment is come: and worship Him that made Heaven, and Earth, and the sea, and the fountains of waters.’” These words were surely words of an angel. They sounded just like something out of the Bible.
Heedless and overcome by mystery and curiosity, Flanders began to walk the rest of the way through this rough field toward the rolling sand dunes. The mystique of a prom dress girl right away scampered off beyond the top of these dunes. “No. Don’t run away, young miss,” called forth Flanders. The last he saw of her just now was when she fled into one of these swirling vortexes. And when he came up to his end of this sand dunes and stepped out onto this magical sand, the girl was
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gone. And deep dark of night was now upon this strange and marvelous place. He ran up to the place where he had last seen her, but now the dark hid the woman who had gotten away. What a pretty prom dress girl she was. And Flanders said to himself in second person point of view, “Your heart will not find its rest until you find her again.” He had to go and tell Proffery what he had seen here just now.
God was in this place.
Once back at the cabin, Flanders said, “Proffery, I saw something tonight that was most odd and yet very good.”
“Let me guess, Bro,’” said Proffery. “You saw Won Ton Ton, the dog who saved Hollywood.”
“No, Proffery,” said Flanders. “I think that I met a girl.”
“You think that you met a girl?” asked Proffery. “Way out here in the middle of nowhere?”
“Or she might have been a dryad girl,” Flanders said.
“Was she pretty?” asked Proffery.
“She was beautiful,” said Flanders.
“Where was this dryad woman?” asked Proffery.
“Just down the road and off to the left a way,” said Flanders.
“What was she doing?” asked Proffery.
“She was playing in a sand dunes with little gentle tornadoes,” said Flanders. “But suddenly she wasn’t there anymore.”
“She sounds like make-believe, Best Friend,” said Proffery.
“I don’t know if she were real or make-believe,” said Flanders. “But she had on a prom dress from styles of the days when we were in school.”
“A prom dress girl,” said Proffery. “May I get to see her sometime, Brother?”
“Do you believe me, Proffery?” asked Flanders.
“I believe you, Flanders,” said Proffery. “I want to take a look at this prom dress woman,
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too.”
First thing the next morning, the two men thought to walk together to find these magical sand dunes and hope that the girl were there again. It was dim twilight before daytime. But Flanders came upon those come-and-go cramps in his intestines that he got once in a while, and he had to stay behind. And he told Proffery anyway, “Go and look for the girl, Roommate.” And Proffery in dim light of waning night proceeded down the road in search for those mystical sand dunes where the girl might be. After a while, with many searches to his left, he found those sand dunes off to the side of the gravel road. Having a reverence for the sanctity of these sand dunes, Proffery chose to remain in the road and to gaze upon the sand in search for the surrealistic prom dress girl. He waited, watched, saw nothing for a long while. And he proceed to walk across the wild field and up to the sand dunes’ edge. He did not step out onto the sand for now. From here he again waited and watched. Behold, a girl in a green prom dress of acetate! Flanders’s girl was real, for sure. And he was right on about her. As pretty as her dress was, her face and form were even more angelic. And the girl saw him there just outside the edge from where she stood in the midst of the sand dunes. Daylight was gradually coming upon this ethereal little world, and she smiled at him and cocked her adorable head to the side at him. He dared to take a step toward her and to enter her sand dunes. Right away she took a step back away from him. He wanted not to frighten her. So he stayed there without advancing or retreating. He then ventured to speak to this prom dress girl, “Are you dressed for the prom, kind gal?”
To this, she said, “I am ever dressed for the prom thus, young man, but I am never for the prom thereby.”
“You like prom dresses, but you don’t like proms, kind woman?” he asked. She nodded in affirmation. He then said, “I feel God in this place, young miss.”
Then the prom dress girl began to sing a most remarkable song:
“Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
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Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heav’nly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
Amen.”
“I pray tell, milady, do you have a name?” asked Proffery.
To this the gal said, “You and your friend have names, kind sir. You are ‘Proffery,’ and he is ‘Flanders.’”
“You know us?” asked Proffery.
“God knows you two, O sir,” she said.
“Did God tell you our names?” asked Proffery.
“Do allow a prom dress girl to answer your question with a logical syllogism,” said the dryad of a woman. And she proceeded to tell this syllogism: “I know God. God knows you. So I know you.”
“I don’t know God. God knows you. I do not know you,” said Proffery in confused logic figuring.
“My name is ‘Lisa Dryad,’” said the prom dress girl. “Call me ‘Gravel’ for short.”
“Like in ‘Lisa “Gravel” Dryad?’” asked Proffery.
“That’s perfect, Proffery,” she said.
It was now dawn of morning. And Gravel raised both arms above her head to both sides, and, lo, she brought the whirlwinds of sand upon the sand dunes. “Behold the Holy Ghost at work, O Proffery,” she declared in Holy Spirit wisdom. And she danced with the whirlwinds of sand. Each time a little sand whirlwind passed through her body, her countenance lit up in radiance of the joy of the Lord. God was in these little tornadoes.
Then it was sunrise of morning. And she brought her arms back down to her sides. And swirling winds of the Holy Spirit ceased. And she said, “I must go back now, Proffery.”
“Will I and Flanders get to see you again, Gravel?” asked Proffery.
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“I shall come back. And you will not be happy with me. And then I shall leave. And then you will be happy with me,” prophesied the prom dress girl.
“What does that riddle mean, O Gravel?” asked Proffery.
“My Saviour Jesus Christ is ‘the rock of offense and the stone of stumbling’ to the world,” said the girl of the sand dunes. “But to us who are saved, He is precious, and we shall not be confounded.”
“I do not know the Saviour Jesus Christ,” he said. “Nor does Flanders.”
“Woe unto you two!” lamented this Christian dryad. “I shall pray and testify and hope.”
And suddenly the prom dress girl ran away off of the sand dunes and just like that was gone.
Unsure now about this woman sent by God, and yet smitten by her great abundant comeliness of attire and form and face, Proffery came back to the cabin and told Flanders all.
“I dare say, Brother,” said Flanders, “she is like a dream girl. Isn’t she—this Gravel?”
“And I dare say, Best Friend, she is like an angel girl,” said Proffery.
Flanders looked upon his desk where he wrote Collie dog stories. Proffery looked upon his desk where he drew German Shepherd sketches. Both men pondered brave new thoughts. Flanders secretly wondered if a new life with Shelby in her Collie companionship were not to be as satisfying as a life with Gravel as a Christian girlfriend. He would not tell his roommate these thoughts. These thoughts were treachery to all that he had held dear to himself. As for Proffery, he was thinking much the like. Would his future with Trilby his very own German Shepherd fail to measure up to a life with Gravel as his girlfriend companion? Flanders would never find this out. His heart must surely be lying to him now about the girl.
Simultaneously the two confidants looked up from their desks, and their eyes met briefly in a telltale glance. Proffery knew what Flanders was first thinking. And Flanders knew what Proffery was first thinking. And a reticence came upon the two that endured the whole rest of the day.
The next day they both agreed to forget about what they were thinking the other day. Today
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was a new day. Everything was the same as it always had been. And they loved big dogs just as they always had. They would go and see their prom dress girl at the sand dunes again this day—this time together. And on their way there together the roommates again fell upon discourse all about dogs.
Flanders said, “My Shelby will become ‘My Partner-In-Life,’ She will be better for me than a wife. We shall be each other’s for the rest of time.”
And Proffery said, “My Trilby will not just be special, but moreover especial. I will call her ‘My Especial.’ And she will love me forever, and I will love her forever.”
Flanders said, “About my Collie dog and me, ‘We shall be poor, but we shall be happy, because we are together.’”
“I can say about my grand German Shepherd and myself, ‘We shall be broke, but we shall be happy, because we have each other.’” said Proffery.
“Just think, Best Friend, you and I and our dogs all living together in this cabin up north here,” said Flanders.
“That’s why we moved here, Brother,” said Proffery.
“And the four of us can enjoy the change of seasons that we people of Wisconsin can so enjoy,” said Flanders.
“Yeah. Yeah. Winter romps. Spring sprees. Summer frolics. Autumn games,” said Proffery.
“I do say now, Proffery,” declared Flanders, “’If there are no dogs in Heaven, then I won’t go There.”
“Yea! All dogs go to Heaven,” said Proffery in sure proclamation.
Then they arrived, there at the sand dunes. It was about noon right now. The roommates took off their shoes, stepped into the sand dunes, and felt the delightful sand upon their bare feet.
“It is not anywhere near twilight for us here this time,” said Flanders.
“Maybe that means that we won’t get to see the girl,” said Proffery.
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“If she comes out in twilight, surely she can also come out in daylight, I would think,” said Flanders.
“Maybe we should have come sooner, or maybe we should have waited to come later,” said Proffery.
“I don’t see any whirlwinds,” said Flanders.
“Then we won’t see any prom dress girl, either,” said Proffery.
“She was beautiful,” said Flanders.
“And sexy,” said Proffery.
The two best friends began to search harder for the girl. They walked about the sand dunes and searched the lands nearby about for over fifteen minutes. But she could not be found.
“Gravel is not here, Roommate,” said Proffery in discouragement.
“Maybe she’s in that tree over there,” said Flanders, pointing to a lone little tree in the midst of all of this sand.
“What makes you say that?” asked Proffery.
“She is a dryad, you know, Friend,” said Flanders.
“I did hear that dryads live in trees,” said Proffery.
At once the two young men ran up to this little tree, and they looked up. They both saw nought.
“She’s not in this tree,” said Proffery.
“She’s not in this sand dunes,” said Flanders.
“It’s hot today,” said Proffery, “especially in this sand with our bare feet.”
“Let’s sit down under the shade here and wait,” said Flanders.
And the men sat down in the cool sand in the cool shade of this little tree. And they awaited their prom dress girl.
Then a sound of something hard and small landed upon the sand between the two men under
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the tree. They looked upon the ground and saw a little stick that was not there a moment ago. Flanders mused upon the stick, but did not pick it up. Proffery regarded this stick with the same hesitation. They then looked up into the branches above their heads where they sat. No one was up there.
“Sticks are falling down out of the tree, Brother,” said Flanders.
“Either falling or being dropped,” said Proffery.
They continued looking up into the little tree. Then they looked back up upon the stick in the sand. Behold, a message in the sand where the stick had been lying. It read, “It is written, ‘For without are dogs,…’ Revelation 22:15.”
“Somebody has with this stick written down this message, Best Friend,” said Flanders.
“While we were looking up,” said Proffery.
“It was not written there when we first got here,” said Flanders.
“It was not written there before the stick landed where it did,” said Proffery.
“I don’t see anybody who could have done this,” said Flanders.
“But somebody has surely done this,” said Proffery.
“Should we pick up this stick?” asked Flanders.
“Do we dare?” asked Proffery. Both men shook their heads in a, “Nay.”
They then turned back to the message and studied it. “What do you think it says, Brother?” asked Flanders.
“It looks like something from the Bible,” said Proffery.
“A Bible verse, maybe,” said Flanders.
“A part of a Bible verse,” said Proffery.
“Like the beginning of it,” said Flanders.
“It talks about dogs,” said Proffery.
“You and I are the greatest dog lovers in the world,” said Flanders.
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“For without are dogs,” said Proffery. “Does that mean, ‘Not having dogs?’”
“’Without’ to us does mean ‘Not having.’” said Flanders.
“What do dogs not have?” asked Proffery, confused.
“But I heard a preacher on TV one time preach about the Bible word ‘without,’” said Flanders.
“He said that in the Scriptures sometimes that word means the opposite of the word ‘within.’”
“’Without,’ ‘within,’ opposites,” said Proffery.
“We of this day know the word ‘within’ to mean ‘inside of,’” said Flanders.
“So those people of the Bible days when the Bible was written saw the word ‘without’ to mean ‘outside of.’” said Proffery.
“For outside of are dogs,” Flanders translated.
“For outside are dogs,” said Proffery.
“Outside of where?” asked Flanders.
“The prom dress girl did give a good sermon to us,” said Proffery.
“She told me about Jesus and Heaven,” said Flanders.
“She told me the same things,” said Proffery.
“Heaven!” said Flanders. Pointing to the message drawn in the sand, Flanders said, “It’s about Heaven, Bro.’”
In translating the seventeenth century English of the Bible to the twenty-first century English of their days, Proffery said, “For outside of Heaven are dogs.”
“That girl says that there are no dogs in Heaven, Roommate,” said Flanders. “What a scourge of a woman to say such things!”
“How does she know? Has she ever been there?” asked Proffery in great seething indignation.
“What does she think Heaven is all about if Shelby and Trilby will not get to go There with us?” asked Flanders in offense and in scorn of the prom dress girl.
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“Next thing we’ll know, Roommate, she’ll be saying that we are not going to Heaven,” said Proffery.
“That prom dress girl probably thinks that we are going to Hell,” said Flanders.
“Dastardly Christian!” spat out Proffery in conviction. And he came to remember that young woman’s strange prophecy: “I shall come back. And you will not be happy with me. And then I shall leave. And then you will be happy with me.”
He told this now to Flanders.
And both men said in derision of the prom dress girl for what she said to them from the Word of God, “She can go to the Devil!”
And they were not happy with her right now in her apparent absence. How much more unhappy would they be with her when she would come back?
Flanders stood up, reached down toward the writing stick, picked it up, and threw it as far as he could out onto the outer boundaries of these sand dunes. Proffery also stood up, and he, with his bare feet, stomped upon the Bible verse in the sand and effaced if from the face of the Earth.
“There, Best Friend. It’s done,” said Proffery.
“Good riddance, Roommate,” said Flanders. “Let’s get out of here.”
And the two men walked out of the sand dunes, intending never to come back here again. And they walked back to the cabin, hurling epithets at the prom dress girl who could not hear them all the way back home. Flanders and Proffery were in accord for their cause of dogs.
Later on, it was night now for the prom dress girl in her sand dunes. Lisa “Gravel” Dryad was walking around on the sand, alone with God and weeping for the two men. They were, as Ephesians 2:12 put it, “…, having no hope, and without God in the world:” She was in that tree in the daytime when they had so harshly turned against her together. The prom dress girl was there in that tree then in spirit form. And she cared for these two men with great burdens for their souls. She was praying now
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to her Heavenly Father for mercy and grace upon these two men. “Lord,” she prayed, “they have to first learn and accept what the Bible says about dogs, before they can learn and accept what the Bible says about You.”
And the still small voice of the Holy Spirit spoke to the prom dress girl in encouragement and exhortation, “My Lisa Dryad, it is true that dogs have no soul and that they return to the dust from where they had come when they die. But I have created dogs for My glory and My honor. Remember that old saying so well-loved by mankind whom I have created–’Dogs are man’s best friend.’ The love of a faithful dog is ever-forgiving for his master. Look upon the breeds of dogs that I have made as their Maker. They are as small as Chihuahuas, which are six pounds all grown up, and they are as big as St. Bernards, which are over two hundred pounds all grown up. They come in all sizes and markings and height and length. Each breed is distinctive, yet each dog of that breed is not the exact to another dog of that same breed. And I have given them wisdom. A master can teach his dog words such as ‘sit,’ ‘heel,’ ‘come,’ ‘roll over,’ ‘play dead.’ ‘fetch,’ And a master’s dog can talk his own language as well by way of bark or whine or snarl or bay. I give dogs dreams in their sleep; if a master sees his dog’s legs moving in his sleep where he lies, that master can tell that his dog is dreaming about chasing a rabbit or a squirrel. A dog can give a lonely man wondrous companionship. Not every man has a woman to have as a companion. Remember that clever saying that one of your disciples said to you long ago. Do you remember it? It was a man with a dog and an ex-wife in his life who told you.”
Gravel remembered that saying from that fellow. He had told her, “If you lock a woman in the closet and a dog in a closet, who will be happy to see you when you come back and unlock the closet?”
The prom dress girl laughed now in the Lord and with the Lord. And God the Holy Ghost went on to tell her, “Do not be too hard on the men whom you care for so much. Flanders loves his hopes for his Shelby to come. Proffery loves his hopes for Trilby to come. I am the Creator of all Collies and of all German Shepherds. And if give these two lonely men their big dogs, they can still seek and find
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their Saviour. You care for these two men for both their handsomeness and for their souls. Remember my words of I Samuel 8:7 which I had spoken to Samuel when the Israelites asked for a king instead of their judge Samuel to rule over them. Think upon that verse, my Dryad.”
Gravel knew that verse well. It said the following: “…; for they have not rejected thee, but they have rejected Me, that I should not reign over them.”
The Holy Spirit continued edifying His good fair Dryad woman, “Do not feel bad for yourself in the men’s rejection of you. Instead, they are actually rejecting Me. Not every prom dress girl has a crush on two men at once. And not every prom dress girl is the object of two men’s crushes at the same time. Though they are offended by what you told them about dogs, they still think fondly about you—both Flanders and Proffery. And as long as they still have breath in their body and as long as their mind can still understand the simplicity of the Gospel, there is always hope for them. So great salvation of a man’s soul is attained by a fourfold process: First, a Christian prays for that man’s lost soul; second, the Christian witnesses to that lost man; third, that lost man gets convicted of his sins; fourth, that lost man comes to see his need for the Saviour. Once that happens to Flanders and Proffery, how can they not help but get saved?”
“My two disciples of my sand dunes can become born again, Lord?” asked Gravel.
“I will answer your prayers of this night first thing tomorrow morning, my comely Dryad woman,” said the Holy Spirit. “I will speak to them in my still small voice even louder than a caring prom dress girl can in rebuke. Things will happen to them in their cabin that will convince them of what you taught them about dogs and truth and the Saviour. And they will come running to you in search for Jesus Christ. Be still, my lady, and wait upon the Lord. And see how great things that I will bring to pass. Amen.”
And the Holy Spirit stopped talking to the prom dress girl for now. And the prom dress girl opened up her hymnbook in the light of the full moon and sang salvation songs to herself and to God,
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hymns such as “Rescue The Perishing” and “Throw Out The Lifeline,” and “Bringing In The Sheaves.”
Then she prayed that God give her the right words to say to Flanders and Proffery tomorrow, words that God would have her to say to them for the cause of their eternal souls. Then she left their precious souls in God’s hands for now. And she turned in for the night.
The next morning, right upon getting up for the day, Flanders and Proffery felt an utter and inexplicable slough of despond. The Good Lord gave it to them.
Flanders said, “Roommate, I just had a bad dream.”
“I also just had a bad dream,” said Proffery.
“What was your dream?” asked Flanders.
“I dreamed that Trilby went and bit my hand real bad,” said Proffery. “My hand still hurts even though it was just a dream. What was your dream?”
“I dreamed that Shelby and I first met, and she ran away from me like she was afraid of me,” said Flanders. “What if she does not like me when I find her?”
“I think, Roommate,” said Proffery, “that we must go to our desks and do our dog things that we do there and make ourselves forget about our nightmares,”
“Good idea, Best Friend,” said Flanders.
And Flanders went to his desk to write a Shelby story; and Proffery went to his desk to draw a Trilby sketch.
Time passed for the big dog lovers at their special desks side-by-side. In fact much time passed. And the morning waxed, and the morning waned. Then it was noon. But things did not work out at all to their satisfaction as they had always done all of the other times at their desk. A rude awakening had come in upon the future dog masters.
Flanders complained, “Brother, I have spent more time erasing lines than I have writing lines. It has been like that all morning this time. And here I am drumming my pencil on my desk with no more
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ideas. This is positively queer!”
And Proffery also griped, saying, “You think that that is bad, Friend, I have been here all morning, and I keep drawing wrong lines the wrong way today. For the first time in my life, I cannot get the blooming drawing right at all. Not even close!”
“What do you think might be wrong with us, Best Friend?” asked Flanders.
“I don’t know about you, Flanders,” said Proffery, “but it could be the girl.”
“The prom dress girl!” said Flanders.
“Gravel!” said Proffery.
“That Christian woman,” said Flanders.
“Maybe we can kind of take a walk together, Brother, and perhaps stop at the sand dunes and look around.” said Proffery.
“We can say that we wanted to see the whirlwinds again,” said Flanders.
“Lisa might be there, you know,” said Proffery Gravel’s personal first name.
“Yes, Bro,’” said Flanders. “We can see Lisa again.”
And Flanders and Proffery at once got dressed for the day, went outside to walk to the sand dunes a way away, and soon broke into a run together, side-by-side.
The Devil, however, was watching. He knew that He was going to burn forever in the lake of fire in eternity to come, and he wanted to bring as many people down there with him when his time came. And, being Satan, he did all that he could daily everywhere to deceive and tempt and lie to men and women and children about the way to Heaven. And he saw his two children Flanders and Proffery, still lost in their sins, now running to their sand dunes, where they could get saved from their sins by the witnessing of a prom dress girl. And he wanted to keep these men from becoming born-again believers. If Flanders and Proffery were to become Christians, then the Devil would have lost these two men to God for forever. And the Wicked One planned evil to come upon these holy sand dunes.
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The two men searching for God got to the sand dunes in record time. It was early morning, and the day was bright, and the sky was blue. And the sand dunes were full of whirlwinds. And the prom dress girl in green was there, waiting for them.
“Kind Flanders, good Proffery, you have come back to see me,” sang out Gravel in great gladness and thanksgiving.
Flanders said, “I’m sorry for everything, Gravel. I should have come back sooner.”
And Proffery said, “I was all wrong. And you were all right.”
“Jesus brought you here to be with me again. Didn’t he?” sang out the prom dress girl in delights.
“Jesus did bring us here,” said Flanders.
“He did,” said Proffery.
“It is time to lead you both to Christ,” declared Gravel.
“I’m ready, Gravel,” said Proffery.
“And I am, too,” said Flanders.
Lo, suddenly a Collie dog came walking up to them. She came from nowhere. All of a sudden here she was. And she walked over and stood at Gravel’s right hand side, and she gave Flanders a brown-eyed look of adoration.
Then, just after that, a German Shepherd came walking into their midst. Where did she come from? What was she doing here? And she came up to Gravel’s left hand side, and she cocked her head at Proffery in endearment.
The prom dress girl froze in fear where she was standing. The men showered love in their eyes upon these two big dogs.
Calling out to the Collie, Flanders asked, “Would you like to be called, ‘Shelby,’ girl?”
And Proffery called out to the German Shepherd, “Could I call you my ‘Trilby?’”
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With great Christian wisdom, the prom dress girl said, “O Flanders, take heed. A demon stands at my right hand to resist me!” And in this same wisdom of angelic warfare in high places, this girl went on to say, “Look out, O Proffery. A demon stands at my left hand to resist me!”
Suddenly a pair of blue jeans appeared in Shelby’s mouth, and she began to shake them about in invitation to Flanders to play with her.
“Yes, girl!” exclaimed Flanders, “Tug-of-war!” And master and Collie at once grabbed opposite ends of these blue jeans and they tugged in a most enjoyable little diversion.
At the same time, a stick suddenly appeared in Trilby’s mouth. She came up to Proffery, and she dropped the stick before his feet and backpedaled and waited.
“Fetch, girl!” said Proffery, to his new pet.
“Thank God for you, Shelby!” called forth Flanders.
“Praise the Lord you have come, Trilby,” sang out Proffery.
And the dogs stole these men’s hearts away from the prom dress girl. And she was left alone in this place as the four played games just perfect for men and their dogs in the other parts of these sand dunes. The Devil had sent these two big dogs here just as Gravel was about to lead them to salvation.
These dogs stole these men’s attention away from the prom dress girl and her Words of God. And now these two men were not thinking anything at all about her Jesus and their need for Him in their lives.
Gravel waxed assertive, authoritative, convincing. And she declared in all due Godly utterance a Bible verse passage for this time at this place: “Flanders and your assumed Shelby, Proffery and your presumed Trilby, it is written, ‘And he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the Lord, and Satan standing at his right hand to resist him. And the Lord said unto Satan, The Lord rebuke thee, O Satan; even the Lord that hath chosen Jerusalem rebuke thee: is not this a brand
plucked out of the fire?’ Zechariah 3:1-2.”
Suddenly a voice as of the noise of many waters thundered down from Heaven upon the two
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devil dogs as they were doing Satan’s work, proclaiming, “The Lord rebuke thee, O Satan.”
[Dear reader, it is written, “Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble.” James 2:19.]
And the two demon dogs, fearful of Almighty Lord God, trembled and quaked and panicked. And they quickly fled God’s sand dunes, leaving their toys of temptation behind in their great haste. And unholiness now left holy ground of sand dunes.
Humbled and convicted, the men reached down and picked up their toys for the day and repented. Flanders went ahead and tore these blue jeans the rest of the way into two separate legs, and he confessed, “Gravel, that was not really Shelby.”
And Proffery threw this stick clear out of the sand dunes, saying, “I was wrong. That was no Trilby that I was playing with.”
God cast the Devil out of these sand dunes thereby, and the time was now ripe for the prom dress girl to lead the two lost fellows to salvation in Christ Jesus.
“Tell me about Jesus, if you would, Gravel,” said Proffery.
“Lead me to Christ, O prom dress girl,” said Flanders.
And the Dryad lady in green began to preach the plan of salvation to the two now seeking the Saviour: She first said, “The first thing that you need to know is that you are a sinner. In Isaiah 64:6, God’s Word tells us, ‘But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.’”
“That’s I—a real bad sinner,” agreed Flanders. “I have loved Collies more than I have loved Collies’ Maker.”
“As for myself,” said Proffery, “I am chief among sinners. I have been looking for the perfect German Shepherd, when I should have been looking for the Saviour of the world instead.”
The prom dress girl soul-winner continued, preaching in delights, “The second thing that you
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need to believe is that God sent His only begotten Son to die for our sins on the cross of Calvary.”
“This one Who went to the cross, He’s that Saviour. Isn’t He?” asked Flanders.
“Yes, Flanders,” said Gravel.
“And the One Who died for us was God Himself. Wasn’t He?” asked Proffery.
“Jesus Christ the Son of God and God the Son,” proclaimed Gravel. “You are right, Proffery.”
“How did the Lord die on this cross?” asked Flanders.
“Was it a real bad death that He endured for me?” asked Proffery.
“It was the crucifixion,” said Miss Dryad. “He let himself be nailed upon the cross with spikes through His hands and with spikes through His feet.”
“That should have been me on the cross,” said Flanders. “I sinned. He never sinned.”
“Spirit and Truth died for flesh and blood,” said Proffery. “The Just died for the unjust.”
“It was not fair to Christ!” said Flanders.
“But He loved me so much that He went through it all anyway,” said Proffery.
“You are both most right,” said the prom dress girl. Then she preached the plan of salvation further, saying, “The third thing that you need to believe in your hearts is that Christ did not stay dead. He arose from the dead on the third day. His disciples and followers came to his tomb on that third day, and, lo, his tomb was empty. And He began to walk around, completely physically resurrected, to reveal Himself to the world that He was alive again. He did this for forty days. Then on the fortieth day, He ascended back up to Heaven from where He had first come.”
“Christ arose. That’s really what Easter is supposed to be all about. Isn’t it?” asked Flanders.
“Yes, Flanders. The Easter miracle. The greatest act of all of history,” said the prom dress girl.
“Leave it to God to be raised from the dead,” said Proffery. “Such a thing is impossible with men. But such a thing is possible with God.”
“Truly a dead God can save no one today. But a living God can save anyone today,” said
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Gravel.
“Gravel, I do believe now in the death and burial and resurrection of Christ,” confessed Proffery.
“And I believe, too,” said Flanders. “Christ died for my sins and arose from the dead on the third day.”
“Ah, my two men have just confessed the Gospel,” said the prom dress girl in rejoicing. “It is written about this Gospel, O Flanders, O Proffery, ‘For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.’ Romans 1:16.”
“Are we born again now, Gravel?” asked Flanders.
“Did we just get saved?” asked Proffery.
And she finished off her preaching on God’s plan of salvation, saying to them, “There is one last thing that you need to do in order to become a Christian, good fellows. You must pray and ask for so free salvation from the Lord. Once you do that, then you become a believer.”
“I understand now,” said Proffery.
“That makes sense to me, Gravel,” said Flanders.
Then both men said simultaneously, “What do I say to God that He might save my soul from Hell?”
“God can use a simple prom dress girl like myself to guide you two through the prayer that you need to pray in order to become born again,” said Lisa Dryad.
“Are you as ready as I am, Brother?” asked Flanders of Proffery.
“I am if you are, Best Friend,” said Proffery to Flanders.
The two men then looked expectantly upon the prom dress girl. And she said, “Well, guys. Now is the time that I have been praying for. Repeat after me line by line this sinner’s prayer. Then,
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when we are done, you are both born-again Christians with a home in Heaven waiting for you that can never be taken away.
“Amen!” said Flanders for his first time in all due joy.
“Amen to that!” praised Proffery the Lord in like.
And this was the sinners’ prayer that the prom dress girl led the two men through this day in the sand dunes of salvation: “Dear God Up in Heaven on Your Throne: I have sinned. Indeed I have sinned not once, but throughout all of my life. My sin makes me dirty in Your eyes as the Holy God. In Isaiah 1:18, Your Word says, ‘Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.’ I am sorry for my dirty sins. Forgive me. Purify me. Help me to repent. I believe that Christ shed His perfect blood on the cross and did die for me long ago. And I believe that He rose from the grave on the third day long ago. I cannot save myself. But you can save me. In fact only You can save me. Please become my own personal Saviour and take away Hell from my eternity to come and give me Heaven for my eternity to come. Thank You, Lord Jesus. In Your name I pray. Amen.”
And the Lord looked down from Heaven and said to the prom dress girl, “Very well done, My Lisa Dryad.”
And Flanders and Proffery knew that they had just accepted God’s free gift of eternal life. The two men had now become born-again Christians. And God had used the beautiful prom dress girl of the sand dunes to lead them to Him. And the two men praised God and thanked Gravel and rejoiced in their so great and everlasting salvation.
A moment of bliss came upon the three here in the sand dunes after this great conversion unto Christianity had taken place in the hearts of Flanders and Proffery. Then Gravel sighed and said, “I must leave you two men. And I sorrow over that.”
“You have to go away, Lisa?” asked Flanders.
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“I must, O Flanders,” said Gravel.
“You’re leaving these sand dunes?” asked Proffery. “Lisa, how come?”
“It is the will of God,” she said.
A moment of thought came upon the two men. And they understood. Flanders said, “There are others to whom you must preach Christ. Aren’t there?”
Proffery said, “You have to move to your next mission field, Gravel.”
“Yes, Flanders, Proffery,” said the prom dress girl. “It is written in the words of the prophet Isaiah in Isaiah 6:8, ‘Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me.’ And I said to God as a soul-winner answering God’s call the same words that Isaiah said to God as a prophet answering God’s call: I said, ‘Here am I; send me.’”
“We’ll miss you, Lisa,” said Flanders.
“Where do you think that God will send you?” asked Proffery.
“I know already where I need to go and serve God,” said Gravel. “There is a family living up in Pembine on Young’s Lake. They live in a yellow house with many yellow farm buildings. They are a dad and a mom and an eldest daughter and three younger sons. I must go and abide in their orchard for a while and try to get them saved.” Then she said, “Oh, yeah. They also have a most grand he-dog there who is a Collie-Shepherd mix. His name is ‘Blitz,’ and he is gentle and kind and loved by all.”
“When do you leave?” asked Proffery.
“Right after we say, ‘Good-bye,’ Proffery,” said Gravel.
“We’ll meet again in Heaven,” said Flanders.
“We three will come Home to be with Jesus in our lives to come,” said the prom dress girl.
The men looked out upon these sand dunes. Flanders said, “These sand dunes will be a lonely place without you, Gravel.”
“Seek Christ’s fellowship here in the sand dunes after my parting,” said Miss Dryad. “’…; and
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there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.’ Proverbs 18:24. This Friend is Jesus.”
“Will the whirlwinds here in these sand dunes continue after you’re gone from here?” asked Proffery.
“Indeed, Proffery. God shall never leave these sand dunes. And the Holy Spirit will continue His manifestations by way of these whirlwinds.” said Gravel.
A silent while passed. Then the prom dress girl asked, “So what will you new men in Christ do with your lives now that you are both born again?”
Flanders said, “I think that God would have me to continue my writing. But now my stories will honor God and not Shelby. I will write about Christian women leading lost men to Christ, and about Christian men leading lost women to Christ. I have much to learn about the Bible and about God before I can minister to a lost and dying world for my Jesus with my stories. In time to come I will be a professional author for God.”
“A most worthy ministry, good Flanders,” said Lisa Dryad.
And Proffery said, “As for myself, I think that God would like me to keepdrawing my pencil sketches. But my drawings will no longer be of Trilby. Nay, I think that I am now ready to start drawing for God. I believe that God would have me to become a professional drawer of Bible verses.
Like Flanders, I need to grow in my walk in Christ and to learn the Bible much better and to learn lots about the Christian life first. But when He thinks that I am ready, my sketching hobby for Him will become my sketching career for Him.”
“Glory! Glory!” praised Gravel God. “But what about your love for dogs?”
Proffery said, “This day, upon my salvation, I have learned to put God first and to put dogs second. It is okay with God for me now to go ahead and find myself my own Trilby to love and to share my life with.”
And Flanders said, “The same for me, too. Now that I am saved, I will never worship Shelby–
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no more as a dream of a future nor at all as a real companion in my life. I shall worship only Christ and not another.”
In praise, the prom dress girl said, “And on the sixth say, God created dogs; and, behold, it was very good.”
“God, the Creator of all Collies and German Shepherds, Gravel,” said Flanders.
“The Maker of our future Trilby and Shelby indeed, Flanders,” said Proffery.
The prom dress girl then said, “It is written about God Who makes masters and their pet dogs, ‘Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.’ Revelation 4:11.”
“Amen!” said the two men.
Then the prom dress girl in green looked up to Heaven. The men understood. She must now leave them.
Proffery said, “Lisa, you are an elegant lady in an elegant dress.”
“Thank you, Proffery,” said Gravel. “Archangels made it. It is made of acetate.” And she spun around in place in a little last flirt. Then she said, “Would you like to touch the bow tie in the back before I go away?”
“It is the prettiest part of your dress, Gravel,” he said.
“Go ahead, Proffery. Women don’t bite,” she said.
Her back facing him and the big shiny green bow tie offered to him, he reached out and ran his right hand down it one time. And he was awed. “Thank you, Lisa. I shall remember this moment for eternity.”
Flanders went on to say, “Gravel, you have the most beautiful black hair that I have seen in any woman.” It was long and straight and with bangs and full of wisps.
“Thank you, Flanders,” said Gravel. “Men don’t usually like girls with wispy hair. Ask me
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if you can touch it.”
“May I really, for sure, Lisa?” he asked.
“Uh huh, Flanders,” said Gravel.
And he ran his right hand down the side of her head, his fingers feeling the awesome wisps of this beautiful dryad woman’s tresses. This would be truly a memory that he would take with him to Heaven.
“Did you like that, Flanders?” asked the prom dress girl.
“I did, Lisa,” he said. “Gravel, you are a fox!”
”Good-bye, dear Flanders and dear Proffery,” said Lisa “Gravel” Dryad.
“Farewell, dear Lisa,” said Flanders and Proffery.
Then the prom dress girl turned away and looked into the horizon due north. No more words were spoken. She was leaving now. And from the north came a fleet black stallion sent by God. He came up to the beautiful woman, stopped beside her, and looked upon her. She then mounted this black horse, turned back to the men with affection for them upon her countenance, then said to the horse, “Giddy-up!”
And the prom dress girl left the sand dunes of Beaver, Wisconsin.
And two men who were best friends and roommates and colleagues and now brothers-in-Christ were alone now in the sand dunes. They watched the whirlwinds dance across the sands. The Holy Ghost comforted them as the Comforter. And, happy-in-Christ, Flanders and Proffery walked back together to their cabin to begin their new lives as born-again believers.
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