Tiffany Kimberley Shires, the famous Unicorn Keeper, is called of God in the tribulation to keep safe the world’s last King James Bible from the Devouring Griffin and the Consuming Dragon, the two world rulers of these End Times. For her ministry she has as pets and soldiers her ten unicorns, her favorite being Snow Eagle. The equally famous Flanders Nickels, the Prophet of the End Times, has Holy Spirit wisdom in that he can quote Bible verses and their references without himself ever having read the Bible. And his ministry is to help Tiffany in her ministry—to keep the Holy Bible safe. And he has for his weapon the Sword of the Spirit, the great saber made by God Himself. The two meet and fall in love. And in the end, upon the Unicorn Keeper’s castle roof, the final battle between good and evil takes place—over that King James Bible in her castle.
THE UNICORN KEEPER
Mr. Morgan P. McCarthy
The Table of Contents
Book I………………………………………………………………………………………………Page 1
Chapter I……………………………………………………………………………………Page 2
Chapter II………………………………………………………………………………….Page 10
Chapter III………………………………………………………………………………..Page 18
Chapter IV………………………………………………………………………………..Page 25
Chapter V………………………………………………………………………………….Page 33
Chapter VI…………………………………………………………………………………Page 41
Chapter VII………………………………………………………………………………..Page 49
Book II…………………………………………………………………………………………….Page 58
Chapter I…………………………………………………………………………………..Page 59
Chapter II………………………………………………………………………………….Page 67
Chapter III…………………………………………………………………………………Page 76
Chapter IV…………………………………………………………………………………Page 84
Chapter V………………………………………………………………………………….Page 92
Chapter VI……………………………………………………………………………….Page 100
Chapter VII………………………………………………………………………………Page 109
Book III………………………………………………………………………………………….Page 117
Chapter I…………………………………………………………………………………Page 118
Chapter II………………………………………………………………………………..Page 126
Chapter III……………………………………………………………………………….Page 134
Chapter IV……………………………………………………………………………….Page 143
Chapter V………………………………………………………………………………..Page 151
Chapter VI……………………………………………………………………………….Page 160
Chapter VII………………………………………………………………………………Page 168
BOOK I
CHAPTER I
Her name was Tiffany, and she was the famous Unicorn Keeper, holy among daughters of God, preeminent among the saints, and great in Christianity, and most spiritual of women on Earth. It was a
Saturday morning for her once again, her special day for a ride with her unicorn of unicorns, and she just got up out of bed now at six o’clock in the morning. Once again, the first thing she did in the morning was to go up to her closet, and take off from the closet hook her favorite garment, and to sit down on the edge of the bed with this especial apparel resting upon her lap. And once again she admired it as if it still were the first time she looked at it long ago. It was a one-piece swimsuit. It was a red, white, and blue and stars and stripes one-piece swimsuit. It was a red, white, and blue and stars and stripes one-piece swimsuit that she had bought at Shopko in De Pere, Wisconsin, back in February 1994. And she loved it as her own soul. And she put it on and wore it all day every day. Of all things in this Unicorn Keeper’s life, only her Saviour was more a part of her than was this maillot.
The following is a detailed description of this quite patriotic maillot as she admired it spread out across her knees: A diagonal ran down the front of this swimsuit from left to right, that is, from the top of the left shoulder strap to the bottom of the right side at the hip. The upper portion of the diagonal
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was full of red stripes and white stripes, alternating. The lower portion of the diagonal was full of white stars in a field of blue. The red and white stripes were each one inch wide, and they spread upward across the swimsuit diagonally at a forty-five degree angle in this right portion of the front.
Near the bottom, the stripes were shorter; nearer the top, the stripes were longer; and at the top, the stripes covered her right swimsuit cup and her right shoulder strap. As for the white stars, they were each one inch high and one inch wide, and they filled up the rest of the pattern in this maillot’s front
in a field of blue in the left portion. Near the bottom, the stars were many; nearer the top, the stars were fewer; and at the top, the stars covered her left swimsuit cup and her left shoulder strap. She took in with delight the deep V-neck of her swimsuit, and the foxy high-cut leg of her swimsuit, and the perfect one-inch width of the top of her shoulder straps. Tiffany then turned the swimming suit over
to its back side to look at it there. Its pattern in back was solid white with no stars and stripes. She ran her hand across this pure glistening whiteness of fabric. And she said, “A scoop back! Yes, Lord!”
And lastly, she looked into the interior of the quite American maillot, and she read the tags that were sewn in along the left just along the side. One read, “Size 9/10.” One read, “Made of Antron Nylon/Lycra Spandex.” One read, “Made in the U.S.A.” And one read, “Made for Shopko Stores, Incorporated.” And one gave instructions for washing and drying. Her morning ritual done once again, Tiffany then went ahead and put on this maillot for the day. And she went outside and called for her favorite unicorn pet once again, “Snow-Eagle!”
And Snow-Eagle came bounding up to her in avid gladness, and he said, “My mistress, I am ever at your service.”
“It’s Saturday,” said Tiffany.
“The day for our ride, O Mistress,” said the majestic and noble all-white unicorn.
“Would you carry me through the woods and across the fields and over the water, O beloved Snow-Eagle?” asked the Unicorn Keeper.
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“I shall be honored to carry you like the wind, Mistress,” said Snow-Eagle.
“Weeeee!” said Tiffany even before the ride started, and she mounted her most gallant and faithful unicorn.
“Hold on tight,” said her unicorn friend.
“I shall hold on tight,” she said. And he began to gallop like the wind.
And as they sped across the vast fields of her land, Snow-Eagle asked her, “What did you tell the Good Lord in prayer yesterday?”
“Yesterday, I prayed again for a boyfriend-in-the-Lord to come into my life, good friend,” said Tiffany.
“You’ve been much in prayer for that, Mistress,” said the unicorn in compassion.
“That prayer is the only prayer that God has not said, ‘Yes,’ to me yet, O Snow-Eagle,” said the young woman.
“Our Lord Jesus has said, ‘Yes,’ to you with all of your other prayers so far in all the time I have known you as your pet,” said the wise unicorn.
“My great Saviour has blessed me very much. Indeed, Snow-Eagle, if Jesus were not to give me even one more blessing in my Christian walk, I should still be thankful for my eternal home in Heaven to come with Christ,” confessed lonely Tiffany.
“Quite true, O Mistress,” said Snow-Eagle. “Just look at this yard of boundless countryside that
Jesus has given you here in northern Wisconsin.”
“It is called, ‘God’s Country,’” said the Unicorn Keeper. “There is no yard anywhere else on Earth like unto this God’s Country, O Snow-Eagle.”
“And look at your house that Jesus has given you. I dare say that it is a bigger house here on earth than most of the mansions Up in Heaven that Jesus has built for the faithful believers,” said the
learned white unicorn.
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“I call my house, ‘The Homestead,’” said Tiffany. “It is like a castle in Europe, but it is in the United States, instead.”
“Indeed, my mistress, who else has a castle for a house here in Wisconsin than you?” said the
unicorn Snow-Eagle.
“And in this Earth of the judgments of the Tribulation these days, our God’s Country and our Homestead are God’s special refuge for me from hurt and harm,” said Tiffany. “Right here where we are is the only place in the world not struck by the twenty-one judgments of the book of Revelation.
Here you and I are perfectly safe in Jesus’s arms, and the rest of the U.S. and all the world are going through Earth’s darkest hour.”
Tiffany Shires paused now in her flurry of thanksgivings to wax solemn and silent. After a long moment of her sudden reticence, her favorite unicorn spoke and said, “But you are still lonely without a handsome boyfriend, aren’t you, O mistress?”
“Yeah. You’re so right, Snow-Eagle,” said Miss Shires somberly.
“Am I not better for you than ten boyfriends, O Mistress?” cried out her best friend. His feelings were hurt.
“Oh, I am so sorry, precious Snow-Eagle,” said Tiffany. “I so do love you, you know. I tell you all the secrets that I tell no one else. Your are my best friend among unicorns. And you are also
my most personal companion in fellowship of any brother-or-sister-in-Christ. Of all of God’s creation, only my Jesus knows me better than you know me. And only Jesus knows you better than I know you.
And you tell me things in your life that you tell only God Himself. I may never find out about what life would be like with a boyfriend-in-the-Lord. But I pray that I never have to find out what life would be
like for me with you taken away from me.”
“I love you, Mistress,” said Snow-Eagle. “I am sorry for my crying out that query.”
“I was wrong,” said Tiffany Shires.
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“Just up ahead are the berry patches,” said the white unicorn.
“Let’s go to the berry patches!” sang out Miss Shires. And woman and unicorn quickly came up to the many berry patches of God’s Country. And Tiffany dismounted. “Oooo, berries,” said the young woman. And she began to pick and to eat blueberries and raspberries and blackberries and black
raspberries. In glee, she sang out that lyric from that great church hymn, the most apt line, “I sing the goodness of the Lord That filled the earth with food;”
In mock-murmur, Snow-Eagle teased his mistress and said, “I wish I could find some strawberries somewhere around here.”
“There are currants over here, if you like currants,” said Miss Shires, pointing.
“I do not care for currants, O mistress,” said wily and silly Snow-Eagle in a game of carping.
“You will not be happy unless we can find you some strawberry patches,” teased the Unicorn Keeper.
“I care for strawberries, Mistress,” said her funny unicorn.
“Well, they’re over there, Snow-Eagle,” said Tiffany Shires, pointing.
“Well, over there I shall go,” he said, and he cantered over there most flamboyantly like a show horse. And he began to eat.
“You and your histrionics, O Snow-Eagle,” said the Unicorn Keeper.
“I and my theatrics,” said the unicorn, his equine mouth filled with strawberries. And woman and pet laughed together, their mouths filled with berries. Then they grew silent and ate until they were full here in God’s Country.
Then the Unicorn Keeper began to stroke her white unicorn along his white mane and down his neck, and she said, “I found something really interesting in the Bible that made me to start thinking with hope now about my prayers for a boyfriend believer.”
“A great Bible verse, Mistress?” asked Snow-Eagle.
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“A great Bible verse passage,” said the Unicorn Keeper.
“Which one?” he asked.
“It is Luke 18:1-8, Snow-Eagle,” said Tiffany Shires.
“Ooo, the parable of the widow and the unjust judge,” said wise Snow-Eagle.
“Would you like me to recite it to you?” asked Miss Shires, remembering the Scripture.
“Oooo, say it to me, my mistress,” said the Bible-learned white unicorn.
And Tiffany said it out loud for them both: “And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint: Saying, There was in a city a judge, which feared not God,
neither regarded man: And there was a widow in that city; and she came unto him, saying, Avenge me
of mine adversary. And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man; Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual
coming she weary me. And the Lord said, Hear what the unjust judge saith. And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them? I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?”
“Mistress, I can see what the Good Book is saying to you in this parable,” said Snow-Eagle.
“Do tell me, O best friend,” said the Unicorn Keeper.
“It is saying to you, that if you keep on praying to God over and over again and keep on asking Him all the time that He give you a good Christian boyfriend, then sooner or later, He will give you that handsome guy in your life,” said the good white unicorn.
“If it be His will for me in my life,” said Miss Shires.
“Yes, if it be our Father’s good will for you, Mistress,” said Snow-Eagle.
“And I have a tangential understanding of this Luke 18:1-8 as well, Snow-Eagle,” said Tiffany
Shires.
“Do tell me,” said her beloved pet.
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“It is like a disclaimer, a difference between my prayers and the widow’s prayers,” said Tiffany.
“In her case, she was asking God to help her to get even with a foe who had wronged her. But in my case, there is no foe who wronged me. In my case I desire a good thing to come into my good life that only God can bring for me.”
“Prayer avails much, O mistress,” said Snow-Eagle.
“It does,” said Miss Tiffany Shires. “It surely shall.”
“It is written about the boyfriend that God could give you, ‘And I heard another voice from heaven, saying, Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues,’” recited wise Snow-Eagle.
“My boyfriend from God will not be a man lost in his sins like the one in that verse,” vowed the Unicorn Keeper in good faith.
“It is a sin for a woman who is a born-again believer to date a man who is not a born-again believer,” preached her unicorn the great creed of her stand for Christ thus.
“If I went and did something that bad, Snow-Eagle,” said the Unicorn Keeper, “why, I would end up backsliding on God before too long!”
“Indeed, it is the only reason why you are so lonesome, Mistress,” said her best friend. “All the world out there knows of you the great Unicorn Keeper. You are accounted most beautiful a woman in the eyes of all men everywhere. All men would be happy to date you. But they are all unsaved and not living for Jesus. And you are mightily saved and mightily living for Jesus. And you have spent a lifetime turning down handsome men because they were not born again. Great will be your reward in Heaven, O mistress.”
“And I shall continue turning down men who ask me out and who are living for the Devil,” promised the Unicorn Keeper in all due faithfulness to her Saviour and to the Words of God that spoke about this subject of dating. “As it says most clearly in II Corinthians 6:14, O Snow-Eagle, ‘Be ye not
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unequally yoked together with unbelievers:…’”
“Dating leads to love, and love leads to marriage,” said Snow-Eagle.
“In such an unequally yoked marriage, I would want to go to church, and my husband would not want to go to church; I would want to read my Bible, and my husband would not want to read the Bible; I would want to pray, and my husband would not want to pray. What kind of life would that be for a young Christian woman like myself?”
“A backslid girl’s life,” said her best friend.
“This girl with you now, Snow-Eagle, would be a prodigal daughter,” said Tiffany Shires in a shudder of what could be. “No boyfriend is worth ruining my joy and my testimony and my worship
of the Good Lord Jesus Christ. If it be God’s will for me to never find sweet romance in my heart, then
that is good for me, and I shall stay faithful to God my Saviour. Snow-Eagle, you are better to me than ten boyfriends.”
“Ah, that is good for me to hear, O Mistress,” said her favorite unicorn.
“Best friend, would you take me back to the castle now?” asked the Unicorn Keeper.
“To the castle I shall take you, my mistress,” said her unicorn. And she mounted him, and he galloped back to the Homestead in fleet Godspeed.
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CHAPTER II
“Sentry, Sentinel,” called out Tiffany Kimberley Shires, “let down the drawbridge. Your keeper has come home.” Before her and Snow-Eagle was the great and famous Homestead, the architectural
wonder of the world. Upon hearing the command of the Unicorn Keeper, these two unicorns—her second-and-third-in-command of her unicorns—at once began to lower the drawbridge for her to cross the moat. And she and Snow-Eagle came back home inside the castle.
Here in the first floor of the Homestead was one great big room of stone. Here was where her ten unicorns lived. They all called this massive room “the Commons.” And this Commons was also a library. This ground floor was truly Spartan, and its inhabitants were unicorns whose job was battle.
Here was much cement blocks and rocks and slabs and stones and concrete and very much mortar; this was what went into the making of this first floor of the Homestead, just as the ten unicorns had requested of their Unicorn Keeper for themselves. Long and wide and high, this Commons had a fireplace in the center of each of its four walls to give heat and light to the unicorns in Wisconsin winters. To the right of each fireplace was a fireplace rack of wrought iron with a long-handled black brush and a little black shovel and a black poker. And upon each mantel was a unicorn’s book: on one mantel was a book about the history of unicorns; on one mantel was a book of pictures of unicorns; on
one mantel was a book of short stories about unicorns; and on one mantel was a book of the wisdom of
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unicorns, rife with proverbs and parables. And the walls of this library down here were filled with shelves of books, from fireplace to corner, from corner to fireplace, from wall to wall, all along the whole perimeter of this greatly spacious room. And among these many books, there were also rare and expensive literary classics in their first printing, famous historical documents of the United States and of the rest of the world, ancient tomes of a thousand years or more still preserved over the centuries, and parchments and scrolls from world empires of Earth’s more early times at the beginning of written language. No museum or archives or library anywhere else had the classics of literature as did the Unicorn Keeper in her library in the Homestead. And her ten unicorns were blessed and privileged and honored to have free access to all this in the Commons. And for light to read therefrom, Tiffany had flickering wall lanterns above the shelves of books every five feet along the walls. The great door that led into this Commons from the drawbridge was in the front right corner of her castle down here. And the staircase that led up to the second floor of this Homestead was in the back left corner of this Commons. This second floor of the Homestead was where the Unicorn Keeper did live. And she walked and made her way to this stairway. Stopping at the bottom of these stairs, she said, “Good night, good unicorns. I’ll have you in my prayers again tonight.”
And her ten unicorns replied, “The Lord bless you and keep you, good Mistress.”
And Tiffany Shires climbed the very many stairs to her living quarters, indeed fifty stone steps
in a straight ascent with a metal railing along the left for safety. When she got to the top, she came to her red carpet of her entrance-type hallway to the first door up here, with that same metal railing for safety to the left. This first hallway was ten feet long with a solid oak door at its end. She opened this first door up here, and she was now in a cozy and warm hallway with more red carpet and with wooden paneling on the walls and on the ceiling. This first enclosed hallway was five feet long and had another solid oak door at its end. She opened this door, and there was her living room. There on her living room sofa did the famous Unicorn Keeper write her letters to the world which she did read to
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the world on TV. In front of her sofa, there was that wooden green bin in which Tiffany stored her hymnbooks and her Christmas carol books. And upon the mantel of her own fireplace in this room, she had a shoe box pushing up its cover with very many photographs of her and her ten unicorns. Leaving this living room, she then went through another hallway with doors and red carpet and wood and paneling for another five feet, and she came out into her dining room. In this dining room, there was nothing that was not wood—the floor and the dining room table and the four dining room table chairs and the walls and the ceiling: all were made of varnished or stained light or dark woods. Here in this dining room, Miss Shires had enjoyed all of her favorite foods: breaded frog legs and cinnamon coffeecake and strawberry shortcake with biscuits and garlic bread and chocolate pie and coffee yogurt.
And here at this dining room table did she drink all of her favorite drinks, such as iced tea and hot tea and coffee and cocoa and apple cider–with or without a cinnamon stick, hot or cold. Then she walked through this dining room, passed through another of her many five-foot long hallways up here, and came out to her kitchen. She remembered the great feasts that she liked to make in this kitchen for her and her ten pet unicorns on good Christian holidays such as Easter and Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Here she always also made special dinners for her unicorn family every Sunday, the Lord’s day. Also Tiffany made birthday cakes for herself for both her physical birthday and for her spiritual birthday in this kitchen. And she made what she called “anniversary pies” for each of her ten unicorns faithfully each year to commemorate the anniversary of the day for each unicorn where he and the keeper had first met in their lives and became mistress and pet. She opened up a little refrigerator bin in the corner
of this kitchen and admired all of the big white grapefruits within. “Unicorns’ favorite food of God’s Country, O Lord,” Miss Shires prayed spontaneously. Then she shut the lid of this cold bin. Then she left the kitchen, went through another little hall, and came out unto her bedroom. There, by the window, was her desk. It was at this desk where she studied her Bible faithfully every early evening.
There, close to the closet, was her bed along the wall and a few feet away from the wall. It was beside
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this bed, on her knees between the wall and her bed, where she faithfully prayed to her Heavenly Father every late night. Tiffany Kimberley Shires had already read her Holy Bible for the evening. Now it was time for a word of prayer this night. And she knelt beside her bed now in this bedroom, and she
prayed now for her unicorns as she had promised them:
“Dear Father, Who art in Heaven. I ask You to help me to be the best Unicorn Keeper I can be for you. Forgive me when I go wrong. Encourage me when I go right. Give me the strength and love and wisdom to keep my ten unicorns for Your divine glory. May we eleven who serve You continually
honor and praise and extol and lift up Your holy name in our ministry to you in this troubled world of
Tribulation.” The Unicorn Keeper paused to consider. And she continued her prayer for her unicorn
pets, “I pray for Snow-Eagle, my best friend among my ten friends. Gallant and ever-faithful and noble
and kind and white with righteousness, powerful among creatures or Your creation. I pray that You keep him as You keep me. I pray that You bless him as You bless me. I pray that You reward him as You will reward me if I prove faithful unto life’s end. I pray also for Sentry and for Sentinel, my two good friends among my ten friends. Watchmen among unicorns, keeping guard over the Homestead,
walking about God’s Country as policemen on their beats, and fierce in battle for You in these Last Days. I pray that You give them victory in You as You had given King David victory in You in the Old
Testament. I pray also for Sundry Propre and for Sundry Common. Brothers among my ten unicorns, bonded in the unity of brethren, and akin like unto twins. May their friendship and familial relationship as brothers-among-unicorns be as strong and steadfast as that of brothers-in-Christ. I pray also for Salvo. Strategist in warfare, tactician with horn and hoof, wily in military schemes. He was wounded in our most recent battle. It was his back left fetlock. I pray for its continual healing and for his patience with it for it to get better. He longs to fight again for You. And I pray for Sire. Valorous, fearless, undaunted, hasty. I pray that You give him discretion and planning and contemplation. In battle, help him to think before he acts. His head got bumped in a charge, because he forgot to use his
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horn. Take away his headache, if You would. I pray also for Steed. Desiring a filly as I do a guy, his loneliness like unto my loneliness, his heart akin to my heart. I pray that You give him his ‘girlfriend
among unicorn-kind.’ And I pray for Seven Seas. Friend of the Pacific, son of the Atlantic, father of the Indian, husband of the Antarctic, acquaintance of the other three seas. Seven Seas desires to once again run the rocky shores of the North Atlantic on the coast of Maine in the biting winds of winter.
Grant him his good request, O Lord.. And I pray for Southwind. Fearless of storms, frolicker amid tornado and hurricane, pursuer of zephyrs, desirous of sprees as the warm winds of the south do blow upon him. I pray that he find his south wind in the south itself. This is his hope as a lover of the winds.
Do answer his prayer and mine for such, O Lord. Maranatha! In Jesus’s name I pray. Amen.”
Her prayer finished, the Unicorn Keeper stood back up, left her bedroom, walked through another hall, and came into her bathroom. With doubts, she looked upon her face in the bathroom mirror above the sink. “Am I pretty, Lord?” she asked. She leaned her face closer to the mirror and critiqued her visage. Men liked brown hair. Her hair was brown. She was glad that her hair was straight and never curly. She kept it long always, her tresses shoulder-length. Women with short hair surely could not be pretty. She reached up and tugged on her bangs with her index finger and thumb. Men often liked bangs in a woman. Tiffany Shires felt pretty the way she had her forehead covered with bangs. Not all men liked women with their foreheads uncovered, which was the way that women were in ads and magazines. She looked into her young brown eyes. Surely of all things this Unicorn Keeper was not a blue-eyed gal. Her eyes of brown matched her hair of brown. At thirty years of age,
her brown eyes still had the attraction of youth to them. She saw that her lips were smiling. And she went on to judge the curve to her face. She saw the roundness of her chin and the roundness of her cheeks, and she wondered if she liked what she was seeing. But that smile: It showed too much teeth.
Her overbite was most manifest upon her countenance. One tabloid once said about her, “She has teeth
like horses.” And what about her nose? Was it not too small? And her eyelashes; were they not too
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few? And her eyebrows; were they not too sparse? And her chin was too small for her. And in this “test” in the mirror, the Unicorn Keeper gave herself a grade of “D.” Then she remembered what Snow-Eagle had told her: “My mistress, it is the consensus of the world that you are the most beautiful woman in the world.” And she was glad once again. Maybe she was wrong about herself, and maybe the rest of the world was right about herself. She remembered how magazines out there talked about the Unicorn Keeper. One said about her, “She looks Canadian.” Another one said about her, “She looks like she came from Alaska.” And another one said about her, “She looks like an Eskimo.”
And with these thoughts in her mind as she stood before her mirror, she said in prayer, “Maybe I am pretty, after all, Lord.” And she encouraged herself in the Lord. Then she left the bathroom, and came out into another hallway. And before her was a staircase of red carpet that lead up to the third floor of this Homestead. In this walk-through up here on the second story, Miss Shires had traversed the whole
length of her castle in a straight line across in this series of alternating rooms and halls, one after another, with no turning right or left from room to room. And before her now was the stairway that led to the roof of the great castle. Upon this roof was the only room to the third floor of the Homestead. She climbed the staircase, came out onto the roof over the second story, and walked toward the center
up here on top. And there it was—the most holy Upper Den, a sacred little room measuring ten feet by ten feet by ten feet, and with a door on each of its four walls—there upon the roof. In there, in this Upper Den, was truly “the treasure of Christianity.” In there was that which the Lord had entrusted to her to preserve and to keep safe. In there was the world’s last King James Version Bible. The most vital of ministries—keeping this last Holy Bible safe from evil—did the Lord give unto the Unicorn Keeper and the ten unicorns she did keep for God. Evil in these days of the Tribulation had burned up, buried, or thrown out to sea, all the rest of the King James Bibles out there anywhere and everywhere
throughout the whole world outside of God’s Country. Tiffany’s Holy Bible was the last one on Earth.
And it was safe there inside that little room on the roof of this Homestead before which Miss Shires
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was now standing.
Then the woman of God went into this Upper Den. There were no windows in this sanctuary.
But a burning torch that burned perpetually lit up this room from its wall socket and gave light to the
Good Book beneath in its sanctified repository. Tiffany Kimberley Shires looked around in this wonderful refuge and gave thanks to God for its red brick walls, for its hardwood floor and its braided elliptic rugs, for its ceiling of wooden parquetry, for its four doors of high-quality mahogany, and for its
ever-present pleasing aroma of varnish. Then she looked upon the treasure of this treasure room. There it was, upon a table whose four legs were of snake-wood and whose top was of pink ivory. This
most especial little table stood four feet high, and measured two feet wide and two feet long. This room’s flaming torch burned and gave its light above where Tiffany now stood at this most holy little table. And this treasure of a Book measured where it rested shut up three inches thick and one foot across and one foot up and down. It was a hardcover Book. And it was black. The Unicorn Keeper, alone in the Upper Den late at night, read from its cover out loud to herself and to her God: “The Holy
Bible” and underneath that, also, “The Authorized King James Version.” These words were in gold. The Unicorn Keeper then moved her head to the side and read to herself and God the words on the spine of this Most Good Book “Holy Bible” and underneath that, “KJV.” These words were in silver.
Then Tiffany Shires picked up this Bible and held it against her breasts in adoration and endearment.
Then, underneath this ever-flaming torch, the Unicorn Keeper opened up this last Bible of the world,
and she read out loud in dream and reverie: “’Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O Lord God of hosts.’ Jeremiah 15:16.” Then she hugged the Holy Bible once again, saying, “Thank You, Lord Jesus,” and she put the Bible back upon the little table.
Then she went back down to her second floor, came back into her bedroom, thanked God for another day, put away her one-piece swimsuit back on the hook in her closet, and went to bed for the
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night, “kept safe in the wings” of her Saviour Jesus Christ.
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CHAPTER III
“Ready, O Sundry Propre?” called out Tiffany Shires, holding the flat circular ring of smooth butternut wood in the air. The unicorn stamped his right fore hoof upon the ground in acknowledgment. “Okay then. Catch if catch can,” she sang out, and she tossed it in the air toward him. Sundry Propre bounded toward this ring in gallop, his unicorn horn poised and his unicorn eyes
focused. He then thrust his horn toward this ring as it began to land, and, lo, he did catch it deftly with
his ready horn. “Bravo, Sundry Propre!” called out Tiffany in accolades.
“What a way for our game to start this day,” exclaimed Salvo.
“The first play, and, behold, a catch,” said Sire.
“He had it even before he had it,” said Steed.
Snow-Eagle said, “Well done! Well done!”
Next, Sundry Common lined up for his turn to catch the ring. The Unicorn Keeper asked him if
he were ready, and he stamped his hoof upon the ground in a “Yes,” also. And the woman tossed the next ring his way. Sundry Common ran up toward it like the wind. He stopped and waited for it to get to him. His unicorn horn was ready for the big catch. But just then a wind came up and blew in his face. And this sudden breeze also blew upon the wooden ring, playing its own game on the ring of this
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ring toss game. Sundry Common fell upon a moment of indecision. Then he decided. And he swung his unicorn horn left to right, aiming for its hollow center. Yet he instead struck the outer side of this ring, and it bounced off of his horn, and it landed upon the green lawn of the playing field.
“Alas!” called out Sundry Common.
“A miss!” exclaimed Seven Seas.
And Southwind yelled out, “Close, but no white grapefruit for that!”
Sentinel also put in his trash talk in this fun game, saying, “As they say in baseball, ‘A swing and a miss.’”
And Sentry went on to tease, saying, “As they say in football, ‘Incomplete!’”
This was the Unicorn Keeper’s funnest game that she played with her ten unicorns. She called this game “Skill and Chance.” Fifty percent of this ring toss game was due to skill, and fifty percent
of this ring toss game was due to chance. For her players, the unicorns saw this game as the spirit of competition in prowess of their unicorn horns. Skill and Chance was a game of five rounds. In the first
round, each of the unicorns was tossed a butternut wooden ring ten inches in diameter, that catch worth ten points. In the second round, they were tossed such a ring of wood of eight inches in diameter, that catch worth twenty points. In the third round, their keeper tossed such a ring of six inches in diameter,
that catch worth thirty points. In the fourth round, their mistress tossed a small four-inch diameter ring,
that catch worth forty points. And in the fifth and last round, the tricky little ring was but two inches in diameter; catching this one was worth fifty points for that unicorn. The playing field for Skill and Chance was a green lawn with chalk marks throughout, with a distance of fifty feet separating the ring toss thrower from the ring toss catcher. A chalk line for the Unicorn Keeper stretched before where she stood and went right and left in front of her. She was not to cross this line before a toss. Were she to do so, it was the privilege of that unicorn to call out, “Penalty!” Then it was her responsibility, after the game, to prepare that unicorn, to whom she was about to toss the ring, a nice white grapefruit, whose
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sections she did cut out with a little knife, and did fill up a bowl with, and did squeeze out the juice from both halves into that same bowl. Thus each unicorn had a great incentive to watch his keeper when it was his turn for the ring. Also, a white chalk line for the ten unicorns stretched out before where they stood far right and left. Neither were the unicorns to cross this line before a throw. Were he to do so, it was the privilege of the other unicorns to call out, “Penalty” on him. When that happened, that same unicorn lost his turn. Chalk line boxes were also drawn in the grass for stations for each unicorn, with Roman Numerals I to X indicating each box. Which box was which unicorn’s was different from game to game and were determined each time by random lots picked by the keeper just before the game. Behind Tiffany Shires the thrower were the appurtenances of this simple game. On one side was the rack of fifty rings, a wooden stand with five wooden spindles, each spindle holding ten rings of the same size for ten unicorns, and five spindles for five different sized rings for the five rounds. On the other side was the scoring table where the Unicorn Keeper kept score throughout the game. Upon this table were ten brass nameplates, one for each player, resting freely upon its top, and also a holder of colored chips. A white chip represented ten points; a yellow chip represented twenty points; a red chip represented thirty points; a blue chip represented forty points; and a black chip represented fifty points. As catches were made throughout the game, Miss Shires set the appropriate chips under each nameplate thereby. At the end of the game, the highest scorer was declared, “unicorn
of the week,” thus earning him the privilege of an evening of fellowship alone with the keeper in the second floor in her living room. In the case of a tie at the end of Skill and Chance, their mistress drew lots between the unicorns who tied, and by the lot the unicorn of the week was decided in this tie-breaker.
Today’s game of Skill and Chance continued on into the afternoon. And in its finish, Sundry Propre and Sundry Common were tied—fifty to fifty.
“Fifty up!” said Snow-Eagle.
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Tiffany Shires studied the scoring table. Sure enough, Sundry Propre had a white chip and a blue chip for a total of fifty points; and Sundry Common had a yellow chip and a red chip for a total of fifty points. And the keeper declared the tie between the two unicorn brothers.
In the spirit of the game, Steed yelled out, “To the lots! To the lots!”
In fun and games, Seven Seas called out in a silly remark, “Penalty!”
Going one step further, Sire yelled out incongruously, “Foul!”
In mock-rebuke Salvo said, “It is not called a ‘foul,’ Sire,”
And Southwind put in his part, saying, “I’m going to win this tie-breaker. Just wait and see.”
Sentinel said, “You have already lost, Southwind. You cannot win this game today now.”
And Sentry said, “Lots! O mistress. Lots!”
And the Unicorn Keeper drew lots between Sundry Propre and Sundry Common.
“Which one did you pick, Mistress?” asked Snow-Eagle.
And Tiffany Shires said, “I picked Sundry Propre. He is the unicorn of this week.”
“But that’s not proper,” teased Sundry Common.
“And it’s certainly not common,” teased back Sundry Propre. And all eleven players laughed out loud.
Today was another happy day for Tiffany here in God’s Country. Such life of majesty and nobility and grandeur and good humor and fun times did her white unicorns give unto her in her daily life with them. She loved all of them. All of them loved her. Indeed no family of people were as bonded in the Spirit of God on this Earth as was this Unicorn Keeper’s family of unicorns. No group of unicorns in all the world were like unto Tiffany Shires’ ten unicorns. And all the world wondered upon her Snow-Eagle almost as much as it did upon the Unicorn Keeper herself. This God’s Country and this Homestead was truly the one light in the dark world of Great Tribulation. And this woman the mistress of these unicorns was accounted the most influential woman in the world.
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Just then Sentry and Sentinel blew a warning alarm with their unicorn horns. The Unicorn Keeper quickly looked up from her reverie. These two guardians were quickly at their mistress’s sides,
standing their ground, their unicorn horns raised toward the skies. Danger had come upon God’s Country! All could see the incarnation of evil that had come into their presence. The Unicorn Keeper gave commands to her warriors, saying, “Attend! Evil in the sky! A prince of the power of the air! Formation!” The ten unicorns lined up in this formation, a circle around their keeper, their eyes looking up, and their horns primed for battle from above.
This was the greatly formidable and baleful Devouring Griffin, the official second-in-command of the two evils who ruled this world of the End Times. Swooping by just out of reach of the ten horns,
he cursed maledictions down upon them. Then the Devouring Griffin called down to them in threat and in calumny: “Death to unicorns! Death to thee, O Unicorn Keeper! Thy unicorns be sons of Belial; and thou, the daughter of Belial!”
Vexed, Tiffany yelled up at this dangerous griffin, “Come down here and say that to us, O Devouring Griffin!”
With clever reprisal, he said back down to her, “Thinkest thou that I cannot now devour thee with fire, O mortal woman?” And in the courage of evil, he did light upon the ground in answer to her
challenge. And he spoke again fearlessly to the Unicorn Keeper in front of her ten mighty unicorns,
“O thou mortal girl, thinkest thou that I cannot but think the thought, and, behold, thou fallest down
dead?”
Snow-Eagle spoke up and gave counsel to Tiffany here in this stand-off, saying, “Acknowledge his challenge, O Mistress. Unrighteousness does not depart until confronted by righteousness.”
Following his advice, Miss Shires went on to ask, “Whom do you seek, O Devouring Griffin?”
He responded, “I seek not thee, O keeper.
Pondering his ambivalent reply, Tiffany then asked him, “What do you seek?”
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“I seek thy Bible, O great woman of God,” he said to her.
“I know what a devil like you wants to do with my Bible, nasty Devouring Griffin,” said the Unicorn Keeper, irate.
“Allowest me to say, Mistress Shires,” he said with an evil laugh.
“Go ahead and tell us,” said the Unicorn Keeper, angry at sin.
“I seek to devour thy Holy Bible,” said the Devouring Griffin.
Clamor broke in among the ten righteous unicorns. The Unicorn Keeper raised her hand, and they grew silent. “Aye, O Devouring Griffin, before you can devour it, you have to find it,” gave Tiffany Shires a forceful rebuttal.
“Thou knowest that place where thou hidest it,” he said.
“And you do not know where I hide it,” she said.
“Thou shalt edify me,” he said.
“I shall never tell you, O Devouring Griffin,” said the Unicorn Keeper.
“Were thou to tell me, I would thereby give unto thee all of North America and all of South America and all of Europe and all of Asia and all of Africa and all of Australia and all of Antarctica, O woman who rulest over the people of God,” promised the wicked Devouring Griffin. “All shall be thine if thou but give me thy King James Bible.”
Again Tiffany Shires said, “I will not tell you anything, you devil!”
“Prepare thou to die, O Unicorn Keeper, who doth vex me daily!” said the Devouring Griffin who devoured over this world of these times.
And the great and mighty griffin lifted up in flight and attacked the whole group of God’s soldiers all at once. And ten unicorns fell down awkwardly to the ground, and Tiffany was nearly struck by the griffin’s eagle beak. But Sentry and Sentinel jumped right back up and leaped into this mighty griffin, their unicorn horns pointing outward, just before the griffin could reach their keeper.
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And their two unicorn horns scored: Sentry impaled the griffin’s right wing with his horn and tore it up; and Sentinel impaled the griffin’s left wing and did tear it up. And instantly the eight other unicorns were back on their hooves. Tiffany Shires was unharmed. And now the Devouring Griffin was outnumbered.
With a raucous screech, the great and terrible Devouring Griffin gave a threat for consideration,
“At a time appointed, O keeper. At a time appointed.” And he promptly escaped back into the sky and fled away for now.
And all was quiet again here in God’s Country.
Snow-Eagle went on to say, “The devil has left us for a season, but he shall return.”
Tiffany said, “This was the first time that that Devouring Griffin has come into our very own yard,”
Snow-Eagle proclaimed, “Evil has entered God’s Country.”
“The Devil is getting bolder,” said Tiffany Shires.
Snow-Eagle said, “There is yet one who is greater in evil in this Tribulation times in this earth than even this Devouring Griffin, O Mistress.”
“I know,” said Miss Shires, with a trembling in her knees. “I know. We must trust Jesus, Snow-Eagle. We must trust Jesus.”
And cares came upon God’s Country and its denizens.
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CHAPTER IV
It was a wet summer day in Wisconsin’s north country as Tiffany Shires stood warming herself by this fireplace in the Commons alone. The girl had gotten caught in the rain today in her red and white and blue stars and stripes one-piece swimsuit. And God’s rain from the heavens had soaked this maillot from her shoulder straps to her bottom. Leaning toward the fire, she began to dry both her swimsuit and herself in the swimsuit. A drop of rain fell from the side of her head onto her shoulder. Another drop of rain fell from a bang and landed on her breast. Two more drops of rain flowed down her temples and down across her cheeks. “Thank You, God, for my happy prayer in the rain this afternoon,” she glorified God with joy. “And thank you for this fire here.” She turned from this cozy fireplace and looked around at the stoniness of this room of the unicorns. Her bare feet felt the cold upon this stone floor. She lifted a wet foot backward toward the fire. Setting that one down after a while, she then lifted the other foot back toward the fire. Then she set that one down, and she leaned her back closer to the fire. Then she turned back to face the fire, and she leaned her wet head toward the burning logs. Then Miss Shires heard the clop of the hooves of two unicorns now coming into the Commons from outside. She could tell just by this that these two were Sentry and Sentinel. And the Unicorn Keeper looked up and said to them, “Maranatha, Sentry and Sentinel!”
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“Maranatha, O Mistress,” they both said to her.
“You both are probably wondering what happened to me,” she said with a smirk.
“Keeper, you look terrible,” said Sentry with an equine grin.
“Are you not well?” asked Sentinel with an equine laugh.
“Very funny, boys,” she said, laughing through her nose. “You wouldn’t look so handsome yourselves if what happened to me happened to you.”
“It seems that you got caught in a July rainstorm without a raincoat, my mistress,” said Sentinel.
“I bet also that you were praying outside when the rain started, and you did not want to quit your prayer in the middle to come in until your prayer was good and done, O Mistress,” said Sentry.
“Yet, when I came inside, there was this fire burning for me in this fireplace in the middle of summer,” said the Unicorn Keeper. “Was it the both of you who did this for me?” Both unicorns nodded their heads in deference. “Thank you both for looking out for me,” she said. She then put her hand upon her belly of her swimsuit. “This will be dry soon, and I will be good and warm again,” she said. “I hope it is not ruined.”
“I tell you, you women and your clothes,” teased Sentry.
“More like our keeper and her maillots, Sentry,” teased Sentinel.
“It is a woman thing,” she confessed, and all three enjoyed this most spontaneous merriment.
Then a moment of silence came to pass as Tiffany continued drying herself by the fires. After a while, the Unicorn Keeper spoke up and said to them, “There is something you need to tell me. Something is on your minds.”
Sentry said, “We two came to speak to you, O Mistress.”
“Do tell me if you would,” she said in listening.
Sentinel went on to tell her, “That last assault by the Devouring Griffin. This time it did not happen out in Wisconsin somewhere away from here.
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In emphasis, Sentry said, “This time it happened in our own yard.”
“I know, guys. I’ve been much in prayer about that today. That most malevolent griffin has never trespassed into God’s Country like that before all the time he has co-ruled the Earth,” said the Unicorn Keeper.
“And we two unicorns were wondering, O Mistress…,” said Sentry. Sentry looked at Sentinel.
And Sentinel said it, “What if the Devouring Griffin dares to come into our very castle itself someday?”
“What will keep the Devouring Griffin from coming into our Homestead and carry off…,” said
Sentry.
“You mean, the Bible,” said Tiffany Shires. Both unicorn warriors nodded their unicorn heads in affirmation and great misgivings. “Be of good cheer, good soldiers, That can only happen if our Good Lord lets it happen. All throughout the Scriptures, God has promised to ever preserve the Word of God.”
Sentry said, “If God has promised to do that, then why are we called upon to keep it safe as He has called us to do, O Keeper?”
The learned Unicorn Keeper began to preach good and encouraging words, “Throughout the Holy Scriptures, God tells us of how He used people to do His work to His glory. Holy men and women of God served God in doing His will His way, and by this, He got the glory and honor He did deserve as God Almighty. Just look at all the names the Bible mentions in the Hebrews 11 honor roll of faith. Look at Abel and Enoch and Noah and Abraham and Sara and Isaac and Jacob and Joseph and Moses and Rahab and Gideon and Barak and Samson and Jephthah and David and Samuel. These heroes of Hebrews chapter eleven were men and women of great faith in our faithful God. Their great faith made our Good God look good. We eleven are also called upon to make our Good Lord’s goodness manifest to all this world of Tribulation. And He is with us all the way and all the time.”
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“Keeper, you teach even unicorns,” said Sentry in praise.
“Like that hymn I heard you sing again the other day, O Mistress,” said Sentinel, “That hymn called, ‘The Bible Stands.’ No matter what may happen in these End Times, the King James Bible will stand forever.”
“And I and you ten have a grand part in making that happen,” said the greatly faithful Unicorn Keeper.
“I believe that, Mistress,” said Sentinel.
“And I, too,” said Sentry.
“It is written, ‘The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever.’ Isaiah 40:8,” recited Miss Shires. “It is also written, ‘For ever, O Lord, thy word is settled in heaven.’ Psalm 119:89. And again is it written, ‘Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away.’ Mark 13:31.” She turned to look back into the nice homey fireplace in this Commons. Her bare feet were now warm and dry. Her brown tresses had stopped dripping down upon herself. Her arms no longer had goose bumps. She put her hand upon her belly again; her maillot was quite dry there now. She put her hand to her shoulder strap and grabbed it between her thumb and her index finger and lifted it above her shoulder and let it fall back upon her shoulder. “Even the shoulder straps are dry already,” she said. “How quickly does Spandex dry.” Then she said, “I praise the Lord
for having given mankind the wisdom to dress up us maillot women in such remarkable material as
this that I have on now.”
“My mistress, do you feel comfortable now in your one-piece swimsuit now that it is dry again?” asked Sentry.
“I feel comfortable in my one-piece swimsuit just as much when it is all wet, Sentry,” said Tiffany Kimberley Shires.
Sentinel then spoke up and said, “I wonder that you do not go to bed in it yet, Mistress.”
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“Why, Sentinel, I’m liable to go and try that,” said Tiffany. Then this one-piece swimsuit women did what one-piece swimsuit women always do: She reached toward her bottom back there and tugged downward on her swimsuit there for the cause of pursuit of comfort in it.
“Women, Sentinel. They do that,” said Sentry.
“Does it not fit you, O Mistress?” teased Sentinel.
“I am perfectly comfortable now,” said Tiffany Shires. “It was riding up on my rump.”
The two unicorns laughed. Sentinel said, “Women are not like us unicorns, Sentry.”
And Sentry said, “Mistress, we are not laughing at you; we are laughing with you.”
“Yeah, go ahead and laugh at the great and famous Unicorn Keeper,” said Tiffany Kimberley Shires. And she began to laugh as well with herself.
Then after this good moment of mirth, the two unicorns asked their mistress if she would preach a sermon to them here alone with her in this Homestead. And she said, “Yes!” in love of the Word of God. And she began, “You both know which book in the Bible is my favorite book.”
“Psalms!” they both said at the same time.
“Yes. The Psalms,” said the Unicorn Keeper. “And you both know my favorite chapter in this Psalter.”
“Psalm 119!” said the two unicorns.
“The psalm wherein every last verse is about the Holy Bible,” said Miss Shires. “This is the longest chapter of this book, and this is the longest chapter in the Bible. It has one hundred seventy-six
verses to it, all one hundred seventy-six talking specifically about the Bible itself. In this Psalm 119, one reads the Bible speaking about itself. One reads therein of ‘testimonies,’ of ‘precepts,’ of ‘judgments,’ of ‘commandments,’ of ‘law,’ of ‘word,’ of ‘ways,’ of ‘statutes,’ of ‘ordinances.’ These nine words are words that all mean here ‘The Bible.’ When I discovered verse eleven therein in the first time I read my Holy Bible as a new convert, I began to memorize scripture for the rest of my life:
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It says in that verse, ‘Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.’ Then one day I discovered verse eighteen in that same long chapter, where it says, ‘Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law.’ And that verse quickly became my official prayer before each day’s Bible-reading for me. Later, I discovered verse twenty-seven that says this: ‘Make me to understand the way of thy precepts: so shall I talk of thy wondrous works.’ That verse is now the words of my prayer before my daily Bible-readings now, instead. And in my study of the Psalter, in this Psalm 119, I have discovered three verses that everybody knows, saved or unsaved. One is verse ninety-seven, which says, ‘O how love I thy law! It is my meditation all the day.’ And another is verse one hundred five, which says, ‘Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.’ And the other is verse one hundred sixty-five, which says this: ‘Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.’ And also in this chapter 119 of Psalms, I found three verses that I like to think that only I know. I quickly put them into my index card notebooks to memorize in my most early years as a Christian. They are great. The first one was verse sixteen, where God says, ‘I will delight myself in thy statutes: I will not forget thy word.’ The second one was verse fifty-four where it is said, ‘Thy statutes have been my songs in the house of my pilgrimage.’ And the third one was verse one hundred eleven, where one reads, ‘Thy testimonies have I taken as an heritage for ever: for they are the
rejoicing of my heart.’” She continued this spontaneous sermon, saying, “Just last year, I found four more sweet savors of Scripture in this longest chapter of the Psalms. They all say how the King James Bible is better than silver and gold. I put those in my index card notebooks, too, and did memorize them. There is verse fourteen, which says this: ‘I have rejoiced in the way of thy testimonies, as much as in all riches.’ And there is verse seventy-two, which says this: ‘The law of thy mouth is better unto me than thousands of gold and silver.’ And there is verse one hundred twenty-seven, which says this: ‘Therefore I love thy commandments above gold; yea, above fine gold.’ And there is verse one hundred sixty-two, which says this: ‘I rejoice at thy word, as one that findeth great spoil.’” She paused
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to preach further on these four verses thus: “Sentry, Sentinel, our Bible that I have in my Upper Den
is better than a treasure chest. Even if everybody else also had a King James Bible like mine, God’s Word therein is still better than a treasure chest. It is the world’s only perfect Book, because God wrote this Book. It is the Good Book for a reason. Its two testaments are perfect. Its sixty-six books are perfect. All of its chapters are perfect. Every last verse is perfect. Every word is perfect. And every letter—every jot and every tittle—is perfect. This can be said only about the Authorized King James Version Bible. Just think now upon this dark time of the Tribulation. Everybody has a false translation of the Bible. But only we have the King James. And from those last four verses, I can say that our extra special Book is better than winning the lottery and better than coming upon an inheritance and better than getting a raise in the workplace and better than a pot of gold they say is at the end of the rainbow and better than a box full of jewels and better than a suitcase full of cash and even better than all the gold of Fort Knox. Our KJV Bible is, as it says about itself therein, better than ‘all riches,’ and ‘thousands of gold and silver,’ and ‘fine gold,’ and ‘great spoil.’” Her sermon ended, she awaited wise words from her unicorn flock in this Commons.
Sentinel said, “It is the KJV that is particularly called ‘the truth.’ And it is the Lord Jesus, Who is particularly also called ‘the truth.’ The KJV is the written Word of God, and the Lord Jesus is the living Word of God. These two truths are the foundation of all the good Christian belief.”
And Sentry went on to add, “My mistress, because God has entrusted you with our Bible up there in the third floor, you are the only Christian in all the world who can get out her Bible and read it whenever she wants to. None of the other born-again believers out there can do that with all of the true Bibles all gone out there like they are now.”
“Very well said, O Sentinel. Very well spoken, O Sentry,” praised the Unicorn Keeper. Then she sought final due Words to this special fellowship of this day with her second-and-third-in-command of her ten unicorns here by the fireplace. “It is written, O precious friends, ‘For the word of God is
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quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.’
Hebrews 4:12.”
“Praise the God of our Bible, O Mistress!” said Sentry.
“Praise God for our Bible, my mistress!” said Sentinel.
“Praise God the Keeper of our Bible!” said Tiffany Kimberley Shires.
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CHAPTER V
“I thank You, God, for Your protecting hand and for Your guardian angels here in this Homestead and throughout God’s Country, keeping me safe from Your avenging wrath of these twenty-one judgments unleashed upon this greatly fallen world. Indeed out there are the seven seal judgments and the seven trumpet judgments and the seven vial judgments meted out upon this Earth of these End Times,” she said now to God. This was Tiffany Kimberley Shires praying these words to God as she knelt beside her bed in the dark of night. Why had this Great Tribulation fallen upon mankind? Tiffany knew why: It was to punish Israel for their rejection of the Messiah, and it was to punish the Gentiles for their treatment of Israel—God’s chosen nation—and it was to punish the Gentiles for their own rejection of this Saviour. As Miss Shires prayed this night, she thought upon the words of Matthew 24:21, which did speak about this time in the world: “For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be.’ Then she spoke to God His Words of Mark 13:19, a parallel verse: “For in those days shall be affliction, such as was not from the beginning of the creation which God created unto this time, neither shall be.”
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All of this had commenced with the attack upon this Earth by the four horsemen of the Apocalypse. These were God’s first four seal judgments upon the world. The Lord Jesus opened the first seal of a seven-sealed book, and a rider on a white horse began to ride throughout the Earth. This was the antichrist, and he became the ruler of the world. He attained this power with promises of peace to a troubled world. Everybody quickly said about him, “He has all the answers to man’s problems.”
And people worshiped him as God. But he was not God. In truth he opposed God. After this, Christ Jesus then opened the second seal of this book, and a rider on a red horse assaulted the world. With his great sword, he brought about World War III. Here in her bedroom, Tiffany remembered a letter that her little brother had written to her just before he was sent to Europe to fight. In that letter, Little Brother had written, “Big Sister, I am beginning to think about what you’ve been telling me about Jesus
as all true. One of these days soon, I am going to get saved just like you.” That was before his first battle. He did not live to see his second battle. Tiffany sighed in grief here in her prayer. After this,
the Saviour then opened the third seal of this book, and a rider on a black horse journeyed across the globe. This rider did spread famine and poverty. And America, once the land of opportunity and most affluent of nations, became a poverty nation. And nations that were already poverty nations became even poorer, becoming veritable death lands. Her big brother worked eight hours a day in the factory, and his day’s pay allowed him to buy one loaf of bread. But he was thankful for having a job. After this, Jesus Christ opened this book’s fourth seal, and the rider on the pale horse stalked mankind. His name was “Death.” And Death rode this pale horse about all the continents of this planet and killed one person out of every four people of all the human beings in the whole world. Miss Shires remembered dear Brittany. She was one of the one-quarter killed. Brittany had been Tiffany’s best grade school friend long ago; but then Brittany’s family moved out of town. Then, after twenty years away, she had come back to Tiffany’s town just a couple years ago. It was so happy a homecoming, that Tiffany said to Brittany that day, “Britt,’ this is the happiest day of my life!” But the next day, Brittany was killed
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by a mom Black Bear when her cub got too close to Brittany in a walk in the woods. That day when she identified the body, Tiffany went on to call, “the saddest day of my life.” After this, Christ then opened this sealed book’s fifth seal, and the Christian martyrs Up in Heaven prayed, “How long, O Lord, holy and true, dost Thou not judge and avenge our blood on them that dwell on the Earth?” And Jesus said unto them, “Rest a little while. In the fullness of time it shall be fulfilled.” After this, then Jesus opened the sixth seal of the seven. And Tiffany heard the strangest weather report that she had ever seen on TV: That local meteorologist said things like the following: “The worst earthquake in history…every island in the world literally moved…every mountain anywhere actually moved…the sun went completely dark…day became night…noon was like midnight…the moon turned dark red…it is the color of blood…all the stars fell down out of the sky…the constellations precious to astronomers are no more…all the sky got rolled up like a scroll of old days before books.” When that happened, her big brother, who had run off to hide from God in the wilderness, called her up and said in confession, “Little Sister, I literally prayed to the rocks in the mountains and said, ‘Fall on me, and hide me from the face of Him that sits on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb. The great day of His wrath is come, and I shall not be able to stand.’” Then, after this, the just and right Son of God opened the seventh, the last, seal of the book. And for a half-hour Up in Heaven, there was complete silence.
For thirty minutes, neither saint nor angel Up in Glory spoke a word. And the seven trumpet judgments were prepared.
Behold, seven angels with seven trumpets stood before the Lord in Heaven. It was time. The first angel blew on his trumpet, and fire fell down upon the Earth from the sky as rain and snow would.
The Unicorn Keeper’s neighbor in the next county told her that it was like balls of fire falling from the sky, these fireballs mixed also with hail and blood each one. Tiffany heard how out of all of the world’s trees—coniferous or deciduous; whether in forests or parks or yards or isolated fields—one out of every three was burned down to the ground by this fire from the sky. This same falling fire also
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burned up and scorched all the grass everywhere. The green grass of lawns and the tall grass of the fields—not one blade thereby did not get burned up black. After this, the second angel then blew upon his trumpet. And God judged the seas. In the oceans of the world, one third of their waters were turned
into real blood and one third of marine life therein perished and one-third of all the boats and one-third of all the ships sailing in these oceans did sink to the bottom. The United States had been celebrating its birthday the Fourth of July that day with a re-enactment of Columbus’s famous exploration to America; there exact wooden replicas of the Nina and the Pinta and the Santa Maria set sail from “the Old World.” But the replica of Columbus’s ship—the Santa Maria—got caught in a rotting pile of dead whales halfway across the Atlantic Ocean, and it sank, and it never reached “the New World.” Then, after this, the third angel did blow on his trumpet. And God judged all the other waters of the world—the rivers and lakes and creeks and ponds and all underground water and all drinking wells. A burning star called “Wormwood” fell from Heaven, and it turned one-third of this world’s fresh water into deadly wormwood. Safe, clean, and refreshing drinking water now became deadly, dirty, bitter water.
Those who went to the faucet to get a drink of water did fall down dead after drinking this. After this, the fourth angel then blew upon his trumpet. And the weathermen reported a most supernatural weather phenomenon to all the TV watchers and radio listeners out there, with phrases such as the following: “One-third of our sun has turned black…only two-thirds of our sun now shines…one-third of our moon has become dark…only two-thirds of our moon is left in the sky…one-third of our stars in the nighttime skies has disappeared…daylight has lost four hours…nighttime has lost four hours.” Then, after this, the fifth angel blew upon his trumpet. Mom and Dad in a letter told her about what happened after that. They wrote that the both of them were playing badminton in the backyard, when suddenly
they heard a strange noise from far away that was quickly coming closer to them—closer and louder.
They wrote that it sounded like many horses running and many chariots racing. They both ran right into the house at once. And then it came. They came. The letter said that they looked like tiny horses
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of war. They had golden crowns on their heads and had men’s faces and had women’s hair and had lion-like teeth and had armor on their chests. They came flying into the yard and they went flying out of the yard. But they were now upon the earth. These were demonic beasts as small as locusts and as numerous as locusts in a plague, and they had come from beneath the Earth. And they smote mankind with a stroke of their scorpion tails. It was written in Revelation 9:6 about these demonic locusts and their sting from their scorpion tails, “And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them.” Only the unsaved did these demons smite. Then, after this, the sixth angel did blow on his trumpet. Lo, two hundred million demonic beasts, perhaps the size of little dragons, began to hunt down men and women and boys and girls in a massacre of humanity equal unto that of the personage Death on his pale horse of a previous judgment. In the judgment wrought by these demon-beasts, walking up and down in the world and going to and fro in the Earth, this genocide slew one out of every three remaining human beings left in the world’s population. Tiffany read in the newspaper how these devil beasts carried out their massacres; they did so with their fire and their smoke and their brimstone. And still did not mankind yet repent of his sins.
Then, after this, the seventh angel blew on his trumpet. And the seven vial, or bowl, judgments were prepared.
Seven angels were now given seven golden vials full of the wrath of God. It was time now to pour them upon Earth. And the first angel went ahead and poured out his vial. And Tiffany saw it on the news on TV. Villagers at a market were smitten with boils. The TV cameras showed on these ill people’s bodies horrible and ugly and putrefying sores all over. It was hard to look at them. Surely their sickness did make them stink sickeningly. Sores like those surely were noisome. And they did hurt with these boils. But it was not just these at the market who had been smitten thus. This was only where Tiffany first found out about it from her safe refuge in northern Wisconsin. As were these villagers on the news, so, too, was all the rest of the world. Indeed and in fact, only those who had
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the mark of the beast were smitten by these many sores. These were the people who had willingly taken on the number “666,” upon their foreheads or upon their right hands. As for the born-again believers on the news and everywhere else, none of them had any of these boils. After this, the second angel poured out his vial upon the Earth. And Almighty God judged the salt waters of His Earth a second fell time. The seas became one hundred percent blood. Tiffany’s big sister told it to her one day how it happened for her, “Tiffany, you know how my life dream was to go on a date with a handsome guy on the beaches of the Pacific Ocean at the time of sunset someday. Well with cute Regal Royal, I finally got to do that. We both flew out there to the west coast. We both found a seashore. We both thought we’d frolic and have a great time. And the sun was setting. But, of all the crazy things to happen, Little Sis,’ the ocean was all full of thick red blood! It ruined my dream date. I am still mad at God.” After this, the third angel then poured out his vial upon this world. And again God did strike all the fresh waters in his Earth with a stroke. This time it was the lakes and ponds and rivers and creeks that became all red thick blood. Tiffany’s little sister told her all about it in her life, saying, “Tiffany,
I went to take a shower that night, and everything was just fine. But suddenly, halfway through my shower, suddenly the shower water felt thick and kind of sticky and it got in my hair real funny. And when I looked, it was blood coming out of my shower nozzle. I positively screamed, Tiffany. I ran right out of the shower, and I came to the bathroom sink to drink some water from the faucet to take away the dirtiness I felt with that blood on myself. But when I sought to drink water, I ended up drinking more blood! I at once threw right up into that sink. And then I saw that even my toilet was all full of blood. What am I going to do, O Tiffany?” All the world’s water was turned into blood. After this, the fourth angel poured out his vial unto the world. And the Earth became hot as an oven, the sun scorching men with great heat. One hundred degrees Fahrenheit became the low for the citizens of northeast Wisconsin. People were stricken by the sun, got sick, and died. And winter was like unto summer in all the world. And summer was like unto Hell on Earth. And still mankind would not
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repent. After this, then the fifth angel did pour out his vial onto the world. And light left the Earth. The family dog, at Mom and Dad’s place, who ordinarily loved the word “walk,” with the zeal of dogs now instead ran into the corner to sit down on his rug when he heard the word “walk,” He now shuddered from this word. And the walks ceased. Why? Because it was so dark out there that neither man nor dog could see a thing outside. This darkness was scary. And it was supernatural. And still mankind shook his fist at God and refused to repent. After this, the sixth angel poured out his vial upon Earth beneath. And the Euphrates River was dried up, thus preparing the world for the great army of the east to cross over in its assault upon Israel. And the massive phalanx of China—two hundred million troops—marched toward God’s chosen nation. And God prepared the world of the Tribulation for the battle of Armageddon soon to come. After this, the seventh angel did pour his vial out upon the world. And a great voice from Heaven uttered three words: “It is done.” And God quaked the whole planet. Every last island in all the waters of the world quite fled away in this earthquake. And not one mountain stood standing still after this earthquake. And the hail came. Each hailstone weighed one hundred pounds. This great hail smashed down upon humankind and upon all that humankind possessed. This was the Tribulation’s last judgment from God. Thus saith the Lord.
The Unicorn Keeper continued her prayer this night beside her bed, “I thank You, Lord, for all of Your mercy and for all of Your grace upon myself and upon my ten good unicorn pets in these days of Great Tribulation in the world out there. Praise You! Praise You! In Jesus’s name I pray. Amen”
Tiffany Shires arose from this prayer in the night’s darkness, and she looked out of her bedroom window: there it was, in the light of the full moon, the beautiful American flag blowing about on her towering flagpole. It was like unto her one-piece swimsuit. “Thank You, God for the United States and for this Midwest—the heartland—and for Wisconsin. Thank You that I am a citizen of this country once so godly and so blessed and so great.” The Unicorn Keeper gazed upon Old Glory in silent reverie, the summer winds blowing upon her through the screen where she stood. This patriot then
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put her right hand to her heart and declared: “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.” With a sigh, she removed her hand from her heart, and she continued gazing upon this red and white and blue stars and stripes flag. The Unicorn Keeper, in a most wistful moment here, began to sing a song she had memorized from her hymnbook:
“1. My country, ‘tis of thee, Sweet land of liberty, Of thee I sing:
Land where my fathers died, Land of the pilgrims’ pride,
From every mountain side, Let freedom ring!
- My native country, thee, Land of the noble free, Thy name I love:
I love thy rocks and rills, Thy woods and templed hills;
My heart with rapture thrills Like that above.
- Let music swell the breeze, And ring from all the trees Sweet freedom’s song:
Let mortal tongues awake, Let all that breathe partake;
Let rocks their silence break, The sound prolong.
- Our fathers’ God, to Thee, Author of liberty, To thee we sing:
Long may our land be bright With freedom’s holy light;
Protect us by Thy might, Great God our King!”
This hymn called “America” encouraged Tiffany Kimberley Shires in the Lord. She wanted to go downstairs and tell beloved Snow-Eagle how she felt. He would rejoice with her. Praise God for this best unicorn friend with which to share gladness and sadness together with her. And without delay,
Tiffany went down to him, and they had sweet fellowship again as best-friends-in-Christ.
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CHAPTER VI
“Weeeee!” said the red, white, and blue stars and stripes maillot woman on the back of the galloping great white unicorn as he raced through a woods of sunny afternoon in God’s Country.
“Do look out for the lower branches of the trees, Mistress,” warned Snow-Eagle. “I’d hate to have something happen to you.”
“A girl is liable to lose her head doing this in the forest,” said Tiffany Shires.
“You would look not good as a headless woman,” said the wily unicorn.
“I would not feel good as a headless woman,” she said.
“It would be like me without my horn,” said Snow-Eagle. “Only worse.”
“Oh, much worse, Snow-Eagle,” said the mistress.
“No, only a little worse,” said Snow-Eagle. “Here comes a branch, O Mistress,”
The Unicorn Keeper leaned her head down and rested her hands on her unicorn’s white mane close to her face, and they sped by underneath that low branch and continued on through the woods at breakneck speed. “I feel the wind!” called out Tiffany in glee. “I feel the wind!” And she held on tight to beloved Snow-Eagle.
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“My mistress, we are nearing the end of this forest,” said the fleet unicorn.
“We are coming soon to a meadow,” she said. “When we get to this field, will you be able to run faster in there than you can in here?”
“Just wait and see how fast the world-famous Snow-Eagle runs when there is nothing in his way,” bragged her favorite unicorn.
“There it is,” said Miss Shire.
“Here it is,” said Snow-Eagle. And once in the open field, he began to run even faster.
“The wind! The wind!” called out Tiffany in giddy spirits.
And off in the sky, a divine creation of God’s nature began to form. It was a rainbow. And as mistress and pet watched in this unbridled sprint, it ascended into the skies from the ground, reached its apex way high up, and descended in the skies to the ground. And it remained there for any to see and to admire. Then the galloping unicorn stopped.
“Why are we stopping?” she asked. “I hope it is so I can stare at this rainbow.”
“I want to gaze upon it too, Mistress,” concurred the unicorn confidant.
“I don’t remember it having rained today,” said Tiffany.
“Here in God’s Country, God does not need a rain to make a rainbow,” said Snow-Eagle.
“That’s the Good Lord for you,” Tiffany Shires praised the Maker.
“Just look at that rainbow,” said her unicorn. “What a thing of beauty they all are there.”
“Such rainbows as the kind we get here are better than the rainbows as the kind they get out there,” said the Unicorn Keeper.
In the world outside of God’s Country, a rainbow was one single rainbow with seven bands of color within: red and orange and yellow and green and blue and indigo and violet. But this one here seen by mistress and pet, like all of such in her divine countryside, was an arc of seven separate rainbows of one solid color each, one above another. The top rainbow was solid red. The next rainbow
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down was nothing but orange. The next one below was all yellow. Next, below that one, was a rainbow all green. Then, next was a solid blue one. Then came one all indigo. And on the bottom was a solid violet rainbow.
After much silent gazing and admiring, Tiffany spoke up and said, “Mom always said to me that
there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. A pot of gold would make the illustrious Unicorn Keeper very happy, Snow-Eagle.”
“Mistress, with our rainbows here, you could find seven pots of gold,” said her unicorn facetiously.
“No, Snow-Eagle, fourteen pots of gold, seeing that each rainbow has two ends to it,” said Miss
Shires in jest.
“Do you like gold, Mistress?” teased Snow-Eagle.
“Gold could become my best friend,” she said in this fun little levity.
“I thought they all say that a diamond is a woman’s best friend,” said the unicorn friend.
“Not me. I don’t like diamonds,” she said.
“Don’t they also say that a dog is a man’s best friend, Mistress?” asked Snow-Eagle.
“I believe that,” said Miss Shires. “I’m not a man, though.”
“Do you like dogs, my mistress?” asked her unicorn pet.
“I like dogs, Snow-Eagle,” she said.
“Name one that you like,” he said.
“I like Lassie,” she said in truth.
“Name one that you don’t like,” he said.
“I don’t like Benji,” she said in truth.
“I can tell that you like big dogs and that you do not like little dogs,” surmised Snow-Eagle.
“I guess that that is so,” she said, edified about herself with canines.
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“Look at them now, Mistress. They are going away—the seven rainbows,” said her pet.
“Yes, they are fading now,” she said. “Now I will not get my pot of gold coins.”
“There is no such thing as a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow,” said Snow-Eagle.
“I might have seen a leprechaun there, too, Snow-Eagle,” said the Unicorn Keeper. “Leprechauns are always around when there is a pot of gold to take.”
“There is no such a thing as a leprechaun either, my mistress,” said the unicorn.
“Have you ever seen a leprechaun, Snow-Eagle?” asked his mistress.
“No, I have not,” said Snow-Eagle.
“Then how can you tell that there is no such thing as one?” asked the woman in her own little logic.
“Now they’re all gone—all seven rainbows,” he said.
“Snow-Eagle, would that we had chased after the end of one of those rainbows,” she said.
“We would never have been able to reach it, Mistress,” said wise Snow-Eagle.
“That is how our wise Creator has made His rainbows—both here and out there,” said the Unicorn Keeper.
“Beautiful spectrums!” Snow-Eagle praised the Maker.
“Well, no matter what, I still have the greatest treasure of the world up in my Upper Den,” said
the devout Christian woman.
“The perfect Word of God,” averred the great unicorn.
“Of all the Christians in this world who can only dream of taking only just a look at my King James Bible, I, of all believers, have it for my own, and I can read it anytime and every time I wish to all my days and all my years in my Homestead. What a blessing that my Jesus has given me, Snow-Eagle!” said Tiffany Kimberley Shires. “I love the Bible as I love life itself with my Saviour!”
“Mistress, just think about the most unique wisdom of the Prophet of the End Times,” said
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her Snow-Eagle.
“Yeah! Yeah! The great prophet!” said the Unicorn Keeper.
“He has the Bible in his head with perfect Holy Spirit wrought wisdom cover-to-cover,” said the
he-unicorn.
“Our Good Lord has endowed that great Christian with the ability to quote any verse in the Scriptures perfectly anytime he wishes to, and he has never seen a real Bible before!” said Tiffany Shires.
“The Prophet of the End Times is a real champion for the King James Version Bible,” said Snow-Eagle. “He quotes his verses only from the King James.”
“He is the greatest man of all Christianity in this world,” said Tiffany.
“He is a threat to the evil pair who rule this Tribulation Earth,” said Snow-Eagle.
“His own sword is the most formidable weapon on the planet,” said Tiffany.
“Maybe he could be your boyfriend-in-the-Lord, O Mistress,” said Snow-Eagle.
“What could the Prophet of the End Times see in a Unicorn Keeper like myself?” asked Tiffany.
“He may be saying to himself, Mistress, ‘What could the Unicorn Keeper see in a Prophet of the
End Times like myself?’” conjectured her best friend.
“All of the world acclaims him with a wonder,” said Tiffany Shires.
“And all of the world acclaims you with a wonder, too, O Mistress,” said her especial unicorn.
“He is awful cute, Snow-Eagle,” said Miss Shires.
“And you are the most attractive woman of women in the eyes of Earth, Keeper,” said Snow-Eagle.
“I will pray about that, Snow-Eagle,” said Tiffany, with new hopes of losing her lonesomeness.
“God will answer your prayer,” said her godly unicorn.
“What if God tells me, ‘Yes?’” asked the Unicorn Keeper.
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“This prayer God would probably not say, ‘No’ to, Mistress,” said the unicorn.
“A prophet’s girlfriend,” said the Unicorn Keeper out loud. “What an honor that would be for me, Snow-Eagle.”
“A unicorn mistress’s boyfriend,” said Snow-Eagle. “He would love to be that.”
“Oooo, take me back to the castle, Snow-Eagle,” said the Unicorn Keeper. “I want to get alone with God in my bedroom and ask Him what He thinks about your new ideas.”
And he began to run back toward the Homestead, carrying her back to the castle in Godspeed.
When they got back there upon the green lawn next to the Homestead, behold, the wicked one also coming in toward the green lawn from the air. It was the Consuming Dragon! And battle began.
Sentry and Sentinel blew warning toots from their unicorn horns, a “Klaxon” that resounded across the skies. The Unicorn Keeper leaped off of Snow-Eagle. Snow-Eagle began to run toward where the dragon looked to be about to light. Sentry and Sentinel ran up and stood to both of their keeper’s sides, ready for her commands. The other seven unicorns stood their ground where they were, lowered their horns, and awaited their keeper’s commands. And as the Consuming Dragon lighted upon the ground, he purposefully flew hard right into a tree, and his great form uprooted the tree from the ground with this crash, and he stood there in a show of daunting great force before them, and he laughed in mock at the eleven soldiers of God. There stood the Consuming Dragon to cause fear. What he just did to the tree, he could do to them. Who was this Consuming Dragon? He was the one previously referred to as
“worse than the Devouring Griffin.” He was the first-in-command of this Earth of the End Times. He was the ruler of the world of the Tribulation. In his rule over the Earth, the one-world religion and the one-world government came into being, both of which furthered the cause of the Devil. He was chief of evil over all the globe.
The Unicorn Keeper now gave forth battle orders: “Attend! Evil on the land! A god of this world!” Between her and the Consuming Dragon stood brave Snow-Eagle. The dragon regarded
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Snow-Eagle with the same disdain that Goliath had felt with the lad David standing before him in the battle mentioned in the Bible. Though Snow-Eagle was like unto a savage timber wolf, the Consuming Dragon was like unto a raging Alaskan grizzly bear. And Snow-Eagle was in danger. The dragon began to hurl maledictions at Snow-Eagle, at the other unicorns, at the keeper, and at all that was holy.
For just a moment, battle commands eluded the Unicorn Keeper as she saw her beloved unicorn in so great peril now. She remembered God now, and battle orders came back to her tongue: “Unicorns of God! Flank left! Flank right! Surround! Entrap! Close in! Assault! Make haste!” Experienced in
warfare, her nine other unicorns formed a circle around the most powerful creature in the world and their preeminent unicorn who did stand before him. She now stood behind an army of ten great unicorns. Snow-Eagle turned his head from the dragon to his mistress, himself awaiting her orders for him. He knew her most well. She was going to say to him now, “Snow-Eagle, retreat and join the circle.” But she did not say anything right now. In fact, the woman went ahead to look into the red eyes of the Consuming Dragon, and his dragon eyes spellbound her into a black magic. She became mute. She became dizzy. She did not pray. She felt faint. She was about to fall. The evil eye had taken her senses over.
“My mistress! My mistress!” called out Snow-Eagle in exigency. She thought she heard a friend speaking to her. The Consuming Dragon began to billow out black smoke from between his teeth and from his nose. He was preparing to shoot out fire. He was going to burn up Snow-Eagle where he stood. “Miss Tiffany?” cried out Snow-Eagle in feeling of betrayal.
A still small voice from God called out to her, saying, “My daughter, turn your eyes away from the dragon of dragons.” She obeyed God and turned her gaze away from the gaze of the Consuming Dragon. And the voice of authority so much a part of the Unicorn Keeper recovered its battle commands. She spoke now in most needful hurry, “Snow-Eagle, retreat and join the circle!” Just then the dragon shot fire out of his mouth toward the unicorn of unicorns. But this unicorn fled the fire and
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got out of the way just in time in running to join the outer circle. Angry, the Consuming Dragon stamped his dragon legs upon the ground, and the earth shook under the hooves of the unicorns and under the feet of their keeper. Then the Unicorn Keeper went ahead and attacked the Consuming Dragon with a Bible verse meant to hurt: “It is written, ‘Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:’ I Peter 5:8. That is just like you, O Consuming Dragon!” And the Scripture verse hurt the Consuming Dragon. And he fell upon indecision and into doubts. Then the Unicorn Keeper commanded her ten great warriors: “Charge!”
And the circle of ten unicorns, their horns ready and aimed and harmful, began to close in upon the
lone dragon where he stood, struck by a Bible verse.
Not knowing what else he could do, the dragon decided to flee for his life. And with his great wings, he lifted up into the sky where Tiffany’s unicorns could not spear him through, and he fled battle with his life. And the Unicorn Keeper and her unicorns stood there, glad to be alive themselves.
The ten prominent unicorns of the Unicorn Keeper awaited her words now upon the battle’s end. And she declared, “Never before has danger from the outside come right next to our castle like this out here.”
Neither the griffin nor the dragon had come so close to this Homestead at any time before. What will they do after? The home of the Unicorn Keeper and her Holy Bible was becoming more and more threatened in each attack.
“What can we do, O Keeper?” asked Snow-Eagle.
“Be much in prayer,” answered the Unicorn Keeper. “Pray and fight.” And then she said, “And
I shall pray and quote Scripture.”
Yet secretly inside, the Unicorn Keeper knew that a man of God could have stood up against the Consuming Dragon better than she did as a woman of God.
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CHAPTER VII
Tiffany Kimberley Shires and Snow-Eagle were alone at the edge of the beatific lake at the northern most point of her great country yard. “This is where it all happened, Snow-Eagle,” she said in great happy remembrance. “Almost seven years ago.”
“The day you became a born-again Christian, my mistress,” said her friend who knew all about her.
“Not very long after the rapture,” she said. “And in the beginning of this Tribulation.”
“Praise the Lord for Proffery, your father in the faith.” said Snow-Eagle.
“He himself had been saved for only a very short time. But he had the spirit of Apollos himself,
the great speaker and preacher who was a friend of the Apostle Paul in the first century church,” said the Unicorn Keeper.
“He spoke like Daniel Webster, and he knew the Bible like a Baptist missionary,” said Snow-Eagle.
“And he led me to salvation right here where we are standing right now,” said Miss Shires.
“Haven Lake,” said Snow-Eagle.
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“Where the otters play,” said Tiffany.
“My mistress, I see an otter right now,” said Snow-Eagle.
“Is he playing?” asked the Unicorn Keeper.
“I see him sliding down a muddy bank and down into the lake, my mistress,” he told her.
And Tiffany said, “I see him now, too! And he is playing, Snow-Eagle!”
Behold, a second otter appeared in the lake. And it swam up to the first otter, and it began to splash water into the first otter by batting its front paw down across the surface of the water. Snow-Eagle and Tiffany both saw this, and the unicorn said, “The second otter is in a water fight like a boy in
a creek, Mistress.”
“He plays, too,” said the Unicorn Keeper.
Lo, a third otter came along. This one was creeping along the grassy shore and acting like it was the hunt. Suddenly it leaped five feet out into the lake, and it pounced into the water between the two other otters. “A third otter at play, O mistress,” said Snow-Eagle.
“It dives like a girl diving in a cannonball into the city pool, at that, Snow-Eagle,” said Miss Shires.
“Mistress,” called out her dear unicorn in the spirit of fun, “do jump in and play with the otters.”
“What, and get my swimsuit all wet?” asked the Unicorn Keeper.
In comedy of paradox, her very clever unicorn went ahead and said, “Oh yes! Forbid the thought that a woman would get her one-piece swimsuit all wet!”
And Tiffany fell upon great laughter. Then at once she jumped into the lake. And she began to play with the otters. Very soon, there were three more otters. “Come in and have some fun with us, Snow-Eagle,” called out Tiffany. “Unless the greatest unicorn in the world is too dignified to play in a lake.”
“I’m not too good for the otters, O Mistress,” called back Snow-Eagle. And he jumped into the
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lake and joined into the spree. And more otters came. And all had a great time of frolic in the lake.
After, when all the otters had left the unicorn and his mistress, and the games were done, and everyone was happy, unicorn and mistress came back out of the water and back upon the dry land.
Tiffany Shires sat down upon the grassy bank, and Snow-Eagle got down beside her. Haven Lake was her most beautiful lake in God’s Country. And right behind where they did sit, not one hundred feet away, was the border along the north of her God’s Country. Out there lay the ravaged world of tribulation. She turned around to look, and there it was—she could see it from here safe in her yard—the Earth of God’s judgments. And she turned quickly back to look upon her vast and safe haven.
“My mistress, here you had come stumbling and bumbling up to right here from that outside world, and there was Proffery, right here, with his bare feet in this lake and his bottoms of his blue jean legs all wet from the lake,” said Snow-Eagle, who had heard her tell him her story of salvation many times before, himself loving to hear it more each time.
“This God’s Country belonged to him then indeed,” said the Unicorn Keeper. “And he had just finished building the Homestead for himself at that time.”
“Do tell me all about it, Mistress,” said Snow-Eagle.
“Again, Snow-Eagle?” said the Unicorn Keeper, most enthusiastic about giving the testimony of her salvation once again.
“I love hearing it, just as you love telling it,” said good Snow-Eagle.
And the following narrative in third person point-of-view was a summary of what she went on to say to her best friend in first person point-of-view:
When Tiffany was a little girl, she was “Grandpa’s favorite grandchild.” She was good for him, and he was good for her. With his wisdom of many years, Grandpa did make little Tiffany a little knife, and he taught little Tiffany how to whittle sticks and branches with this little knife. She loved Grandpa always, and she quickly fell in love with whittling. But good Grandpa become old. And his mind
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became old. And he forgot his special Tiffany. And he even forgot her name! And the day came for him to die. Tiffany was at his bedside when it happened. His last words were, “Lord Jesus, I’m coming home!” He remembered Christ in his last moment of life. Grandpa was a born-again believer, and he did come home to Heaven to be with his Saviour. But at that time, Tiffany, now a teenager, was not saved as Grandpa was. Her mind and heart and soul were those of a lost girl who did not see death and dying as did her Christian grandfather. So, she could not thank God for waiting for Grandpa up in Heaven. Instead, disillusioned Tiffany blamed God for Grandpa’s death. She hated the Lord. She hated the life that this Creator had created. She came to hate any who lived. And she took out her little knife that Grandpa had made for her for good, and she decided to use her little knife for evil. She began to hurt other creatures who lived with her little knife. She was an angry and bitter girl, and she became an angry and bitter woman. And her reputation as a stalker woman spread far and wide.
One day, her ways with her knife caught up with her. She chose to contend against a man who was not afraid of her. And he did get the best of her. And she lost the fight. It happened in a bar just a few miles north of this Haven Lake in Wisconsin. As soon as she entered this bar, a most assured man
sitting at the counter on a bar stool, took one look at her and said to everyone in the bar, “Well, here is that woman.” She took one look at this most self-assured and self-confident man, and she lost her nerve. This stranger had a sudden mastery of her in his maleness, and she felt vulnerable in her femaleness. He spoke again in front of everybody in the bar for all to hear, himself addressing her, “I heard about you, Miss Shires.” He then made a fist with with his right hand, and he slammed it into his left palm.
All of the other people in the bar instantly cheered him, saying, “Way to tell it! Tony! Tony! Tony!” This Tony was a professional boxer who had come from England.
Daunted, but still angry and bitter, Tiffany said to him, “Don’t you dare go and hit a lady.”
“Oh, but Miss Shires,” said this pugilist, “you are no lady.”
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And all of his friends said, “Way to say it, Tony. Tony! He’s the man.”
This man then went on to say, “This woman who calls herself a lady likes to cut up things with a little knife. I have an adorable German Shepherd. He is one year old today. His name is ‘Breton.’
Wouldn’t you know it, he came home last week with half of his tail gone. Somebody cut off his tail.
Who do you think did that? This ‘lady’ lives next door to me on the county highway. She hates dogs.
What might have become of that little knife? What might become of the little knife woman? I wonder if she knows about paybacks.” As she had done to innocent Breton, so sought she to do with avenging Tony; and she reached into her purse and pulled out her knife at the boxer. He spoke again, “Miss Shires, put down that knife.” Fierce, Tiffany would not do that, and she took a step forward, her knife ready.
All his friends said, “Be the man, Tony! Tony! Do your thing to the woman!”
This prize fighter was not the least daunted by the woman and her drawn knife. Instead he calmly went on to say to one of his friends, “The left glove, please.” And the whole bar became suddenly quiet. And the friend left and came back with a real boxing glove. Tony then fastidiously put it on his left hand. He then said to that friend, “Now lace it up, if you would.” And his friend laced up his left boxing glove. Tony then said to another of his buddies, “The right glove, please.” And this second friend left and came back with his second boxing glove. Tony ostentatiously went about and put this on his right hand. He then said to this friend, “Now lace it up, if you would.” And this friend laced up his right boxing glove over his right hand. All this time, Tiffany, always the aggressor with her knife, stood docilely by as all this took place in front of her. Then this professional boxer stood up from his bar stool, looked Tiffany in the eye as the assertive one between the two, and he knocked his gloves together. She heard the sound of padded leather striking padded leather. And she felt like dropping her knife and getting out of there. And all kinds of thoughts flew into her woman’s head that moment. What was it like to get punched by a boxing glove? What would the glove feel like? Would
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it hurt? Would she bleed? Would it break a bone? Was it going to sock her in the face? If so, what part? Would she still be pretty? Would she die? Yet still she stood there, her hand stretched out before her with her knife in it. Yet she stood there astonied. Then Tony took a few steps toward her, drew back his right boxing glove ready at his bidding, and he threw a vicious punch right into Tiffany Shires’s forehead. The woman was knocked clean completely out. And she slumped unconscious to the floor of the bar, and she lay there in a heap for all to see. And everybody cheered for the British boxer who gave the knife woman a dose of her own medicine.
One of his buddies said, “Way to go, Tony. You’re our man. You are not afraid to hit a woman.”
Another of his buddies said, “Her knife flew out of her hands clear to the other side of this bar.”
Another buddy said, “Did you see how her head snapped back? Whoa! I liked that.”
Another buddy said, “I never saw a woman fall like this one did for us just now.”
Another buddy said, “What should we do with her lying down there like that?”
Another buddy said, “Let her keep sleeping.”
And another buddy said, “Sweet dreams, pretty woman.”
And all of the bar burst into cheer at the man who punched out wicked Tiffany, “Tony! Tony! Tony!”
And Tony said, “That made me feel real good to do that.” And then the prize fighter left the bar,
satisfied with what he did.
And Tiffany Kimberley Shires lay unconscious on the floor in the middle of the bar as all the bar patrons continued their revelry.
Then she began to come to. Her eyes opened. She was dizzy and faint. And she tried to figure out what she was doing down here. Her forehead hurt with a throbbing headache. And she put her hand there and winced. And she remembered that punch. Semi-conscious, Tiffany rallied and sat up
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on her bottom and steadied herself with her hands down on the floor to both sides. For ten minutes she sat like this as she regained her senses. Then she rallied and got to her feet and did stand there still for another ten minutes. And she was now completely conscious. Then she hobbled to a bar stool, sat down upon it, and asked the bartender, “What happened to my knife?”
He told her, “I don’t know where it landed. Tiffany.”
And she told the bartender, “I’m glad. Because now I never want to see it again.”
“Are you going to press charges against Tony for that assault with his boxing glove, Tiffany?” asked the bartender, curious.
“No,” said Tiffany. “Is he going to press charges against me for that assault with a knife?” The bartender shook his head, “No.”
And Tiffany Shires said, “What a bad woman I am.” And Tiffany was convicted of her sins. She knew that she was a sinner going to Hell, and she knew that she could not save herself. She needed God. And she walked out of the bar, began a walk to find God, and prayed, “Show me truth, O
Lord.” And the Lord heard her and prepared for her His answer. She began to walk to new places out here in the countryside, the Holy Spirit guiding her steps to where He wanted her to go. And after an hour of walk, she came upon a beautiful lake with a nice shoreline of green grass. She saw a man there, partly on the shore and partly in the lake, parts of his legs in the water where he sat. He was singing a song, which Tiffany would find out was called, “All Creatures of Our God and King.” This man saw her, and he stopped singing his hymn at once, and he stood up; and he said to her as if in prophecy, “Fair lass, blessed shall you be among women. Mightily shall you be used of God.
Greatest among daughters of the Lord shall you be.”
Feeling unworthy of such salutation, Tiffany confessed. “But I do not know the Lord. I tried to kill a man in a bar just a little while ago. I am a wicked woman.”
“I myself used to be a wicked man,” said this guy. “But now I am redeemed by the Lamb. And
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now I am righteous in His shed blood on the cross.”
“Who are you who speaks so strangely about God?” she asked.
“I am Proffery Coins,” said this man. “And I have been saved for about a month now.”
“Are you one of those born-again Christians?” asked Tiffany.
“Yes, I am. And you can be, too, Miss Tiffany Shires,” he said.
“You know my name, and we never met before,” she said.
“The Lord told me that you were coming,” said Proffery. “So I came to Haven Lake here to wait for you to come.”
“I am the most wicked woman in the world,” said Tiffany. “Can God forgive me for all of the bad things I have done with a knife, Proffery?”
“If God has forgiven me for my sins and has saved my soul, He surely can forgive you for all your sins and can save your soul, too, Tiffany,” promised Proffery Coins.
“My knife has killed robins and red-winged blackbirds, because I was mad at their Maker,” confessed Tiffany.
And Proffery said, “Be of good cheer, Miss Shires. It is written, ‘Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be
red like crimson, they shall be as wool.’ Isaiah 1:18.”
“Is that in the Bible?”she asked. He nodded. “God says that?” she asked. He nodded. “It is truth?” she asked. He nodded. And she confessed in sincerity of her searching heart, “Then I believe that, O Proffery,” she said.
Then Proffery asked her, “Would you like to get saved right now, O Tiffany?”
“What do I need to do to get saved, Proffery?” she asked.
“Only believe in the Lord Jesus Christ,” he said. “And accept the free gift of eternal life.” And he preached the Saviour of the world to the seeking young lady. And when he was done
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with that, and she understood, he then led her line-by-line through the sinners’ prayer, whereby she accepted the free gift of everlasting life. And this was what Tiffany Kimberley Shires prayed to God that converted her to so great salvation: “Dear God, I am a lost sinner. And I cannot save myself. I am sorry for all of my many sins. Please forgive me. I believe that the Son of God died for my sins and arose the third day. I ask You now to rescue me from a future in Hell and deliver me to a future in Heaven. Please save my lost soul, and become my personal Saviour. In the name of Jesus, I pray.
Amen.” Behold, the woman of the knife had now become the woman of God. Tiffany was now a born-again believer.
And as she and Proffery continued chatting that day at Haven Lake, he went on to tell her that his great home and his great yard here so unlike any home and any yard anywhere was destined soon to become all hers. He would be leaving soon for a reason he would not tell her.
And the next day, on a trip to Upper Michigan beyond the borders of his yard, he was killed.
It was the combined efforts of the two new rulers of the world—the Devouring Griffin and the Consuming Dragon. This man Proffery Coins was inspiring a great revival in Wisconsin. And this revival was spreading across the rest of America’s Midwest. And it could plausibly spread across the rest of this new world of Tribulation. These two wicked world rulers sought to put down this great spiritual revival in their hatred of Jesus. And they swept down upon this great man of God from both sides. One attacked him from the right, and one attacked him from the left; and both struck him down where he stood at the same time. And the man who led Tiffany to salvation died and went to Heaven.
And Tiffany moved into this Homestead and this God’s Country after a period of mourning for Proffery. And very quickly after, she adopted the world’s ten most formidable unicorns. And Tiffany Kimberley Shires instantly became the renowned Unicorn Keeper. And here she was, once again reflecting upon these things at Haven Lake almost seven years later with beloved Snow-Eagle.
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BOOK II
CHAPTER I
The man was looking at his most recent page of his scrapbook as he sat up upon his bed first thing in this morning. It was a newspaper article with the headline reading: “Earthquake and Hail? Again Not So for the Unicorn Keeper and Her Unicorns.” This man was most learned in the Scriptures, and he knew that this newspaper article was about the seventh vial judgment, the last of God’s twenty-one judgments cast down upon mankind and Earth. These End Times of Great Tribulation were drawing now to a close. Jesus was coming soon. “Maranatha!” said this man of God.
“Maranatha, Tiffy!” he said to the Unicorn Keeper far away. This man was the Prophet of the End Times, and he had a major crush on the famous woman Tiffany Kimberley Shires. And this scrapbook he did call “Tiffy’s Scrapbook.” And Tiffy’s Scrapbook was bound in a brown report cover binding, indeed a collection of pictures and words about Tiffany Shires of all the past seven years in newspapers and magazines. All of this time, the great prophet had heeded God’s commandment to wait and to not ask beautiful Tiffany out quite yet. But this morning, God had told him, “Go, my son, and ask her out.”
And this morning was as the start of a new life for this happy born-again believer. His name was Flanders Arckery Nickels, and he had first seen Tiffany on TV that day she had read that first letter to
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the world, introducing herself as “The Unicorn Keeper,” For Flanders, it was love at first sight. That happened just after the rapture, Both he and she had gotten saved just after the rapture and just before that first letter to the world. And right after that, she became preeminent among daughters of God; and he, preeminent among sons of God. And the Devouring Griffin and the Consuming Dragon began to rule the world, and together they two gathered up all of the King James Bibles from throughout the world, and they buried all of them in dumps throughout all the countries. Except for the Unicorn Keeper’s King James Bible. And the mighty evil griffin wanted to devour it; and the great and terrible dragon, to consume it. But God did not let them.
Flanders Nickels’s walk with God was guided by two dreams and their two commandments from God therein. In that first dream, at the inception of the Tribulation, Flanders found himself standing before a warrior angel with a sword in the warrior angel’s hand. Flanders was a type of Joshua. As Flanders stood there, the angel spoke not a word. Then, from Above, with the voice of thunder, Almighty God said, “It is written, O Flanders, ‘And it came to pass, when Joshua was by Jericho, that he lifted up his eyes and looked, and, behold, there stood a man over against him with his sword drawn in his hand: and Joshua went unto him, and said unto him, Art thou for us, or for our adversaries? And he said, Nay; but as captain of the host of the Lord am I now come. And Joshua fell on his face to the earth, and did worship, and said unto him, What saith my Lord unto his servant? And the captain of the Lord’s host said unto Joshua, Loose thy shoe from off thy foot: for the place whereon thou standest is holy. And Joshua did so.’ Joshua 5:13-15.” As Joshua was said to do before that angel with the sword, so, too, did Flanders do before this angel with the sword. Then this angel before Flanders proffered his sword to him. Flanders reached out and took it. Then this angel did speak, and he said, “Vaya con Dios.” Translating out loud, Flanders said “Go with God.” Then he woke up. In that dream the Lord did call Flanders Nickels into his ministry as greatest among sword-fighters. And very soon after that, Flanders became indeed the swordsman of swordsmen. And with
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his sword he did fight evil. But in obeying those three words of dream, this first commandment from God of the two, Flanders Nickels had to live his life without a Christian girlfriend—that is, he was not to go and date the beautiful Tiffany, whom he adored and cherished. He was to fight battles now, not romance women with good and happy flirts. And he obeyed the Lord implicitly, contenting himself with the scrapbook and not with the real woman herself.
But then came yesterday’s dream in the night. A new commandment—the second dream commandment of the two—God did tell him in his sleep of last night. Tiffy was in this dream for her first time. Though he had dreamed in the day about the Unicorn Keeper all of the time, this was his first dream in the night about her. Herein, he was with the girl on a Christmas Eve afternoon in an enchanted land. It was snowing big and gentle and romantic flakes. And he and Tiffy were on a first date. And they were going door-to-door, singing Christmas carols and spreading the Gospel of salvation to all people in the town. He and his dream girl sang the carol, “Wassail, Wassail, All Over The Town.” And he and his dream girl sang the carol, “Here We Come A’wassailing.” Then, with the snow falling upon her beautiful head, she did cock her head coquettishly to the side at him and did say to him, “Fland,’ God has something to say to you.”
“What is it?” he asked her.
“Listen,” she said.
And a still small voice said to him, “Cherchez la femme.”
In translation, Flanders whispered to himself, “Look for the woman.”
Then he woke up. He knew now that God had given him the okay to now go and find his Tiffany way out there in Wisconsin. He did know, also, that he must bring his sword with him on his great journey. In this commandment to go after the woman, he knew that the commandment to do battle for God was still in effect.
And the prophet had a present to give to the keeper. All of his Christian life he had wanted to
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give it to her. Now he finally could. He would bring it with him on the trip. It was in his closet on the top shelf. He called it, “a prize.” She would call it, “a women’s black one-piece swimsuit.” What the world called “an all-black maillot,” Flanders Nickels affectionately called “a prize.” He went to his bedroom closet now and reached for this closet shelf and took down a wooden box with brass bands and brass hinges and a brass lock and a brass key, and he went back to sit upon his bed with it on his lap. He then opened it for himself to look upon once again. The receipt was still there, reading, “The Boston Store,” and “Ladies’ tank, black,” and “$99.99.” Then he took this most feminine garment in his hands to admire it once again. Its most sultry black fabric shone in a sheen. Its sides curved like a woman’s sides, black strings running down them within the suit. And at the bottom of both sides were these thick strings tied up where the hips would be. The shoulder straps were one-inch across at the tops. The deep V-neck and the high cut leg of the suit were of the style of their day. In the back was called, “a scoop back.” Putting his nose to this black maillot, Flanders said to himself, “Ah, the smell of a brand new one-piece swimsuit right off the rack, even after all these years of storage!” He then went ahead to look within this maillot. He saw the tag that read, “Size 10.” He went ahead and looked at the tan covering the cups inside. And he admired the tan band running along underneath these cups. Then he let himself go and went on to examine the tan crotch liner. Whoa! Convicted by his man’s curiosity thus, he said to God, “Naughty me, Lord.” And he repented and put the women’s maillot back into its wooden box, and he locked it back up. And he sat there at the head of his bed, the box with the prize on the floor beside him. And in impromptu prayer, he did reminisce about all that people had said to him after he told them of his infatuation for the Unicorn Keeper. His best friend Tom had said to him in merry little tease, “She has teeth like beavers.” Mom had said to him, “She is a pretty buck-toothed woman.” Flanders the prophet also had buck teeth. And in his far-away romance with this gal he often wondered what it would be like for him and for her, if two such “overbite people” as they were to kiss each other. Dad had said about her, “She’s a ‘bangs woman.’” Flanders did not like how all of
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those women out there had their foreheads uncovered and bare. Big Brother told him about her, “Brown hair and brown eyes—that’s what you look for in a woman, Little Brother.” And Big Sister said, “Little Brother, you were never one for a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes.” Little Brother told Flanders, “Big Brother, she reads the Bible all the time just like you speak it all the time.” And Little Sister told him, “She prays long every day, just as you do, Big Brother.” And his brethren at his Baptist church all said things about her like, “She looks Canadian,” and “She looks Alaskan,” and “She looks like an Eskimo,” these three statements the consensus of many of her fans. And his beloved pet Century also told him all the time, “The Unicorn Keeper likes one-piece swimsuits just like you do, Master.” Century was his female white winged horse, and he had told her all about this love of his life
Tiffany.
It was time now to tell Century that the time had come. God had said, “Yes,” to him in his dream last night. He and Century were going to fly to Wisconsin, and he would ask the Unicorn Keeper out on a date, and she might just say, “Yes,” to that. “Century,” he called out even before he got out of the house. Remembering the present, he quickly grabbed the wooden box in his hands, and he raced downstairs and out to the yard. “Century,” he called out again.
There she stood, waiting to greet him for the morning, “Century, at your service, kind Master,” she said in obeisance.
“Century,” he said again, “we’re going to Wisconsin. I am going to see Tiffany. Could you take me?”
Of course she would take him. How else would he get there? She had always taken him to all places at all times. Yet, in deference, she simply said, “The honor would be mine, O Master.” She laughed through her closed horse teeth at his silly question, and he laughed with her at himself. But she became excited with his excitement, and she said, “What changed your mind all of a sudden?”
And he said, “The Lord said that now it is all right for me to go there, Century!”
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“Oooo, do let us go then,” she said.
The Prophet of the End Times put the Boston Store maillot box meticulously in her saddlebags.
He then also began to fill up the saddlebags with food and water and other provision for the long journey. He also repeatedly checked his left side to make sure his sword and its sheath were still there.
And in this while, the “she-Pegasus” and he conversed in great expectations.
Century asked, “Why, Master, do you know what this means for me? I get to meet the Unicorn Keeper’s very own unicorns! They are the greatest ten unicorns of all the world!”
“Yes, that you will, girl,” said Flanders. “Are you nervous?”
“What would I say to them?” she asked, suddenly timid.
Flanders thought for a moment, then said, “Maybe you could ask them something like, ‘How are you doing?’ Then they might say something like, ‘I’m doing good. Thanks for asking. How are you doing?’ Then you have a conversation going with them. They would be glad to speak to the Prophet of the End Times’ great winged horse, O Century.”
“You’re saying, Master, then, that I should talk with them as naturally as I talk with you,” said
Century in query.
“They are just as equine as you are, girl,” Flanders reassured her. “Winged horses and unicorns have much in common with which to talk.”
“I could tell then what it is like to fly. Unicorns cannot fly,” she said. “And they can tell me how they use their horns in battle. Winged horses have no horns.”
“Even your differences can be a topic of conversation, girl,” said Flanders Nickels.
“What do you think that you will say to the girl, O Master?” asked Century.
“I’m nervous just to think about that,” he said.
“You’re not so sure of yourself either, are you?” asked his confidante.
“I should follow my own advice to you. I can talk to the Unicorn Keeper the same way that I
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talk to you, girl,” said the prophet.
“Or maybe better yet, Master, talk to the woman with the same ease that you talk to God in prayer every night. You never fail for words in any of your prayers. And you are most comfortable in life as you chat with God,” recommended the winged white she-horse.
“You’re right, Century,” said Flanders. “That advice I shall follow.”
“Also, Master, the great Prophet of the End Times talking to her will probably make her feel some self-consciousness as well,” said Century. “You are no ordinary man.”
“Are you saying that Tiffy has a crush on me, girl?” asked Flanders Nickels.
“She could, Master. She really could,” said his winged horse pet.
“I never heard of such a thing!” he said.
“She could. She really could, Master,” said wise Century again.
“That is the nicest thing that you have ever said to me, Century,” said Flanders.
“Master,” said Century.
“Yes, Century,” he asked.
“Do you think that she might let you take a look at her Bible?” she asked.
“The Unicorn Keeper’s Authorized King James Version Holy Bible,” he said in dream.
“The only one on Earth,” said Century.
“The Good Book,” said the Prophet of the End Times in reverie.
“At her castle, my master, you could open up her Bible, and you could then see the verses in your eyes that you do speak with your tongue,” spoke Century to Flanders’s Christian heart.
“God’s written Words,” spoke the great prophet in grand new thoughts. “The written Word
of God.”
“You will feel the real paper of the real pages of the real Bible,” said his winged horse.
The Holy Spirit came upon the Prophet of the End Times now, and he recited about this real
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Bible from that real Bible far away, “It is written, O girl, ‘The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the
soul: the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple. The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes. The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring for ever: the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold: sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.’
Psalm 19:7-10.”
“Amen to that, good Master!” Century praised Jesus.
The preparations for the long journey complete, and the saddlebags full, Flanders Nickels then said, “Let us now go to Tiffany’s place, girl.”
“To Tiffany’s place we shall go,” said the white winged horse.
The master mounted the pet, and the pet lifted up into the skies with her great white wings, and the master was airborne. And the flight began.
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CHAPTER II
Flanders Nickels looked down from where he sat, riding his Century in flight. He saw beneath him cities and towns, farms and forests, lakes and fields, all of the world and its activities down below.
He thought about the several false Bible translations out there that every one had. People read these false Bibles. He thought about the one King James Bible—the true Bible. Only one could read this one—his Tiffany. “Century, he said, “those people down there do not miss the King James Version.”
“Those nasty liberal translations and their nasty liberal Bibles,” said Century. “They do not know down there, Master.”
“The true Holy Bible was translated from true manuscripts. The false Holy Bibles were translated from false manuscripts,” said the Prophet of the End Times.
“That wily Devil is up to his tricks with the modern Bibles, Master,” said Century.
“The true manuscripts are the Masoretic Text and the Textus Receptus text,” said the prophet. “The false manuscripts are the Latin Vulgate texts and the Alexandrian Texts.”
“Woe unto the writers of the modern translations and to those who read them, O Master,” said his winged white horse, as she looked down upon the world below.
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“Yea, Century. And blessed be the King James commission and committee whom God did use in 1611 for the English-speaking people of the world to make for us that which has brought about revivals in old time. And blessed be the Unicorn Keeper, who is worthy to keep that Good Book for God here in the twenty-first century,” said Flanders Nickels.
“Praise God for that which He did put into the heart of King James of England to do that which he did do,” said Century.
As they were thus denouncing the modern Bibles, the Spirit of the Lord came upon Flanders, and he said, “It is written, O Century, ‘Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you.’ Deuteronomy 4:2.”
“Aye, my master,” said Century. “Thus saith the Lord.”
Looking down upon the world, whose masses were confused with all those different Bibles saying all those different things in all those different words, the Prophet of the End Times went on to declare a denunciation upon the false writers of the false Bibles in a most fervent diatribe: “Woe unto you, O man of Belial, who wrote the New International Version and dare to say, ‘This is the Word of God.’ Woe unto you, O son of Belial, who wrote the New King James Version and say brazenly, ‘Thus
saith the Lord.’ Woe unto you, O wicked man, who wrote the Living Bible and say, ‘These are the Words that God says.’ Woe unto you, O sinful man, who wrote the Revised Standard Version and say,
‘This is truth.’ Woe unto you, O lost soul in Hell, who wrote the American Standard Version and say, ‘This is a better Bible.’ Woe unto you, O man of iniquity, who wrote the New American Standard Version and say, ‘These are the Words of life.’ Woe unto you, O man of rebellion, who wrote the Good News Bible and say, ‘These are the perfect Words.’ Woe unto you, O hypocrites, who wrote the New World Translation, whose disciples go door-to-door, telling your lies. Woe unto you, O man of transgression, who wrote the Book of Mormon and say, ‘This is also what God says.’ Woe unto you, O
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false prophet, who wrote the Koran and say, ‘This is a holy book.’ Woe unto you, O snakes in the grass, who wrote the Apocrypha and say, ‘This belongs in the Authorized King James Bible.’ Woe unto all of you down there in the world who read the liberal modern translations and who say, ‘The King James is outdated, and there are mistakes in it.’ As the Good Lord Jesus Christ did rebuke the scribes and the Pharisees and the hypocrites of His day, so do I now rebuke you in this day: ‘Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can you escape the damnation of hell?’ Matthew 23:33.” And this soliloquy
was spoken thus.
“Amen to that, Master!” praised his winged white she-horse. “Amen to that!”
Again the Holy Spirit caught up Flanders in God-breathed inspiration, and the End Times Prophet declared, “It is written, ‘For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.’ Revelation 22:18-19,”
“Blessed be the divine Author of His most Good Book,” said Century.
Having said all of this, the Prophet of the End Times drew his sword, swung it in the air about him, and cut a piece of air into two pieces, and the two halves of air fell down to the ground below.
“Verily no sword can do what your sword does, Master,” said Century.
“As the great Old Testament judge said in Judges 7:18, girl, ‘…, The sword of the Lord, and of Gideon,’” quoted Flanders Nickels.
“Or as you do say before battle, my master,…” said Century.
“As I say before battle, ‘The sword of the Lord, and of Flanders.’” said the End Times Prophet. He then paused to read God’s engraved Word on his blade, “’…, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:’ Ephesians 6:17.” It was the Most High God Who had inscribed this Bible verse
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upon Flanders’s sword in its very creation.
The Sword of the Lord, and of Flanders had a straight blade which was one yard in length, was double-edge all along both sides, and was made of sterling silver that glittered in the sunlight way up here in the skies. This sword’s hilt was made of the ancient gold of Uphaz. This saber’s guard was made of the ancient gold of Parvaim. This sword’s scabbard was of the wood pink ivory, of which woodworkers said was the rarest wood in the world. This sword’s scabbard was banded with bands of platinum. Truly this Sword of the Spirit was without equal in all the world of sword fighters. And Flanders Nickels was without equal in the art of sword fighting. And his she-horse was greatest among winged horses in war and in peace. All of Earth knew about noble and brave Century.
The Spirit of God came upon the Prophet of the End Times, and he said about the Holy Bible, “It is written, good and gallant Century, ‘Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.’ John 17:17.”
“O Master, tell me again how you first came upon your gift,” said his pet she-horse.
“You mean how I learned to quote verses from the Bible?” he asked. She nodded. And he told his true tale. The following is a third-person narrative of what he told her in first person testimony:
Flanders Nickels was a new convert to Christianity, a true babe in Christ. He was but one day old in his newfound salvation. A week ago, the rapture of the believers took place, and everyone was wondering what had become of their loved ones and friends and neighbors and acquaintances who had been born-again Christians, who had suddenly disappeared in this rapture. They had gone to Heaven without having to die first. And the End Times of Tribulation had begun. Yet God still ruled the Heavens and the Earth. And the Lord still wrought His work even in these darkest days of Earth’s darkest hour. And he called Flanders into a most glorious and singular ministry as a man of God.
The Holy Ghost said to this brand new Christian that day, “Go now to Jubilee of the Midwest.” And
Flanders obeyed God and took his long journey to Jubilee of the Midwest. And when he got there, he
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heard the Holy Ghost say to him, “Now go to the Tri-County Fair in town.” And Flanders obeyed God and found and went to the Tri-County Fairgrounds. And when he got there, the Holy Ghost then said to him, “Now go and see the animals at the fair.” And Flanders obeyed God and began to go from animal barn to animal barn. He went first to the horse barn to see many domestic horses in their equine comeliness. Then he saw a Morgan horse. Or rather, a Morgan horse saw him. And this horse looked him in the eye with an almost human intellect. Then this Morgan horse stamped on the ground with its front right hoof and lifted it up. Flanders looked, and, behold, underneath where that hoof had stamped
was a piece of white typing paper, the kind that measured eight-and-one-half inches by eleven inches. Flanders reached into this horse’s stall and pulled it out and read it. It was a typed message that said, “Flanders, it is written to Ezekiel, ‘Son of man, I have made thee a watchman unto the house of Israel:
therefore hear the word at my mouth, and give them warning from me.’ Ezekiel 3:17. As Ezekiel was my watchman for Israel, I have made you my watchman for Earth. Go and warn others of Hell.” Flanders did not know what to make of this. He carefully folded up this note and put it into his shirt pocket. Next, he went to the cow barn to see the domestic dairy cows being shown at the fair. And he
came upon a Holstein cow who cocked its head to the side at him like a human girl would. And it mooed and moved its front right foot across the wooden floor of the barn. Flanders looked down at its
sliding foot, and, lo, another note from God just like the other one that God had for him, on the floor. Flanders reached into this cow stall, pulled out this note, and did read to himself, “My son Flanders, it is written, ‘And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.’ Matthew 4:19.
As I had said this to Peter and Andrew, so say I now to you. Go and fish for men. Souls are lost and going to Hell.” Flanders wondered upon this in new thoughts. Then he folded this paper up and put it into his shirt pocket. Next he went to the goat barn to see all the goats that God did make and their weird faces that they had. Soon he came upon a goat that looked him in the eye, and nodded its head as if it were saying to him, “Yes.” Then this goat lunged and rammed its horns hard into the boards and
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then grinned at Flanders mischievously. This was the goat for Flanders. Flanders looked to its right front foot, and it lifted its right front hoof. Down there was the third note for Flanders. He dared to reach into this stall with the animated goat and pull the note out for himself. And he read, “Flanders, it is written, ‘The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise.’ Proverbs 11:30. As Solomon wrote this proverb to his readers, so write I this proverb to you, O Flanders. Go and spread the saving Gospel to all who will hear you. Souls are lost out there in this fallen world.”
Mystified and curious, Flanders folded up this note and put this one in his shirt pocket as well. God was at work with him. Next, Flanders went to the sheep barn to see the sheep and the lambs. He also went into this barn to find his next message from God. He heard a “Baaaaa,” behind him, and he turned around. Behold, a white sheep in its stall, who looked first at him, then down at its right front foot, then back up at him. This was the one. Flanders understood. And he looked and saw the
note right where the sheep had shown him. It lifted that foot, and Flanders took and read the message from the Lord to him, “My great disciple, it is written, ‘Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.’ John 15:8. As I had commanded my twelve Apostles thus
in the Holy Land, so command I you in this world of End Times. Go and preach My Word to all men everywhere. And be the great soul-winner of your day. I will be with you.” Flanders was beginning to
understand God’s plan for his life now. He put this note into his shirt pocket. Next he went into the rabbit barn to find the rabbit with the note. As he admired the pretty and handsome bunnies, he came upon a rabbit of five colors—brown and black and red and tan and white! And this rabbit was hopping up and down in place like a human boy would do at two years of age. This was the right rabbit. Flanders reached underneath its right front paw, and the rabbit took one hop back away from the paper, for Flanders to grab the note. And Flanders read it: “O mighty man of God, it is written, ‘And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel,’ Ephesians 6:19. As the Apostle Paul, my missionary of missionaries, spoke thus, so shall
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you, my prophet of prophets, speak likewise. You shall be called, ‘The Prophet of the End Times.’ And you shall go out and preach the Word of God and wins souls and edify Christians.” This was the fifth note from God. And there were no more animal barns to go into. There were no more new animals for Flanders to see. There would be no more divine papers on the floors. He then put note number five into his shirt pocket.
But there was no more Word of God out there anymore for him to preach from. The two new rulers of the world—the Devouring Griffin and the Consuming Dragon—got rid of them all. All of the King James Bibles out there were buried by these two evil world rulers. Flanders did not know of any that were still out there. How could he preach without the Holy Bible?
He asked God now in doubts, “How can I do such a thing, I, who have never read the Bible?”
Just then a pretty feminine voice called out from behind him, saying, “Be of good hope, Flanders Arckery Nickels. With God all things are possible.”
He turned around and beheld an angelic woman of beautiful countenance and white wings.
She introduced herself to him, saying, “I am Arch-Angel Sonya S. sent from God to help you.”
He said, “Beautiful arch-angel, it seems that God wants me to share verses from the Holy Bible
to everybody on Earth, but I never opened up the Bible before, and now there is no Bible out there to open up anymore. I am a most unworthy prophet!”
“O man, nothing is impossible with God. I am come to do God’s work with you.” said Sonya S.
the she-angel. Then she began to say the following from the Bible: “’And I went unto the angel, and said unto him, Give me the little book. And he said unto me, Take it, and eat it up; and it shall make thy belly bitter, but it shall be in thy mouth sweet as honey. And I took the little book out of the angel’s hand, and ate it up; and it was in my mouth sweet as honey: and as soon as I had eaten it, my belly was bitter. And he said unto me, Thou must prophesy again before many peoples, and nations, and tongues,
and kings.’ Revelation 10:9-11.”
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In great wisdom, Flanders asked, “Was this little book the Word of God?”
Arch-Angel Sonya S. nodded her head, looked around here in the busy fairgrounds, and said to
him, “Let us go away to an isolated place.” And the she-angel led him to a river off along the edge of
this fairgrounds, where there was no one around. “This is the Flowing River, Flanders,” she said. “It flows due north into the bay.” Then she reached down into the flowing waters from the shore and pulled out a little wooden box big enough only to hold a few marbles. And she opened up this little box before Flanders. Lo, a tiny little book inside! Never before had Flanders seen so minute a book as this.
The she-angel proffered it to him, and he took it into the palm of his hand. This little book was about one inch in width and one inch in length and one inch in height. All in all, this book was only one cubic inch in volume. She said, “Go ahead and open it, Flanders.” He opened it and saw print so small
that a man would need a microscope to read it. He turned the pages and made an educated guess that there were about a thousand pages within, its leaves thinner than an ant’s blood vessels. He tried to read the three words to the title page, but could not. But Flanders Nickels knew what this was.
“Arch-Angel Sonya S.,” said he, “this is the King James Bible. Isn’t it?”
“That it indeed is, O wise Flanders Nickels,” she said.
“And I am to eat this little book. Aren’t I?” he asked.
“Yes. That is what you must do to be the great prophet God wishes you to be,” said the she-angel.
“Right now?” he asked, never having eaten paper before.
“Right now,” she said.
And Flanders went ahead and ate up the little Good Book. Instantly his mouth tasted the savor of sweet honey, and instantly his stomach tasted the bitter flavor of bile.
Behold, from Genesis 1;1 to Revelation 22:21—the whole King James Version Holy Bible, lock, stock, and barrel– were in Flanders’s head with consummate Holy Ghost memory. He was now
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the wisest man in the world. He was soon to become the most famous person on Earth. And he had now become the Prophet of the End Times. And he was to become the greatest foe and force for good against the Devouring Griffin and the Consuming Dragon the champions of the Devil and of evil. And souls would be saved across the globe because of him. And he would serve Jesus Christ the Lord as the
greatest prophet that God had ever sent out throughout the world.
The Holy Spirit of the Lord God moved Flanders Nickels now to speak a Bible verse, and the prophet spoke his first inspired Scripture passage, “It is written, O Arch-Angel Sonya S., ‘Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O Lord God of hosts.’ Jeremiah 15:16.”
Then the she-angel ascended back up into Heaven.
And the Prophet of the End Times began his new ministry for the Saviour.
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CHAPTER III
Flanders Nickels sat down upon the bank, took off his brown penny loafers, and put his bare feet down into the flowing waters. He looked upon the sun’s glowing off of the waters in its sparkling,
and he squinted. Faithfully at his side, his best friend Century leaned her head down and drank from the river. Then she stepped out into this river in all four of her legs.
She spoke now, saying, “Master, when it happened for you, you said that it was the very next day after the rapture. You told me that it was the best thing that ever happened for you.”
“Ah, yes, girl,” said Flanders, remembering. “The day I got saved.” That was the day he had become a born-again Christian thereby.
“Do tell me again what you were thinking about that made you become a believer,” said Century, desiring to hear it all again.
“I was thinking, girl, ‘Where did everybody go?’” said Flanders.
“Indeed, O Master. All of the Christians were suddenly gone from this Earth,” said his winged she-horse.
“And, I, of course, was still down here,” said Flanders.
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“You were not a Christian till after that rapture,” said Century. “Those saved before that rapture, in that rapture they all went to Heaven without first having to die.”
“I was left behind,” said Flanders, “doomed to live in these days after of Tribulation,” said Flanders.
“Even though only one of of fifty people throughout the globe did get raptured, Master, I can still understand, being where you were on the day of your salvation, why you felt that everybody had gone,” said Century.
“I was in a Baptist church on a Sunday morning, and no one was there for church,” said Flanders. “It seems that that church’s whole congregation had gone up together in the rapture the day before.” He went on to say, “I saw the newspaper headlines and the magazine articles, and I watched the news on TV; everybody said that millions had strangely disappeared from Earth. I had to do some major thinking by myself about all of this. And I went on a trip to a strange part of the county I had never been in before just to think with myself. And I came upon a nice cozy little church in the middle of a woods.”
“It was a church in a wild wood, Master,” said his knowing she-horse.
“It was just exactly that, girl. That was the name of that church—‘the Church in the Wildwood,’” said Flanders Nickels. “That was where I found Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour.”
He paused in this narrative of the testimony of his salvation. He reminisced upon that most important day of his life. He fell upon reverie of that day seven years ago. He began to sing a hymn:
“1. There’s a church in the valley by the wildwood
No lovelier spot in the dale
No place is so dear to my childhood
As the little brown church in the vale.
Oh, come, come, come, come
Come to the church by the wildwood
Oh, come to the church in the vale
No spot is so dear to my childhood
As the little brown church in the vale.
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- How sweet on a clear Sabbath morning
To listen to the clear ringing bells
Its tones so sweetly are calling
Oh come to the church in the vale.
Oh, come, come, come, come
Come to the church by the wildwood
Oh, come to the church in the vale
No spot is so dear to my childhood
As the little brown church in the vale.
- From the church in the valley by the wildwood
When day fades away into night
I would fain from this spot of my childhood
Wing my way to the mansions of light.
Oh, come, come, come, come
Come to the church by the wildwood
Oh, come to the church in the vale
No spot is so dear to my childhood
As the little brown church in the vale.”
“Well sung, Master,” said Century. “Well said!”
“To think that that was the first full day of this Tribulation, Century,” said Flanders.
“Earth’s darkest hour started out bright for you,” said Century.
“I was in this Church in the Wildwood all alone—except for the Lord.” said Flanders. “I wandered about this holy church. I strolled about the auditorium and the dais. I strolled about the basement and the Sunday School rooms. I strolled about the foyer and the racks of hangers. I strolled about the Pastor’s office in the back. I felt a strange divine peace and rest and joy in here with God.
Then I went back up to the dais, and I came up to the pulpit. And there on the pulpit it was, O Century.
It was a letter from the pastor with the salutation, ‘To whom it may concern to any who may be left behind.’ This was I. I was one left behind. This letter concerned me, as well. I went ahead and read the letter. It told all about the rapture, whose timing neither the pastor nor his congregation knew, but which they did know was imminent for them in its mystery. And it told of all the evil that all had to endure in these End Times because of their rejection of the Saviour before all of this. That was I. And in that letter, the pastor said, ‘But, be of good cheer, O reader left behind. The God of mercy and grace
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before this Tribulation is still the God of mercy and grace in this Tribulation. As the Saviour has saved souls before the rapture, the same Saviour will save souls after the rapture. Take note, though, O man or woman or child of the End Times: If you have heard the Gospel before the rapture has taken place, and you did reject the Gospel and reject Jesus, after the Rapture takes place, you will be sealed with spiritual blindness, and you will not be able to find the Saviour for so great salvation, and you will not
be able to become born again and to ever get to Heaven after. But, if in your life any time before the rapture, you have never heard the Gospel before the Rapture, in your life after the Rapture, you can still
get saved, yet must endure the world’s worst time—the Tribulation.’ I was not sure what this ‘Gospel’ was all about. I read further in this pastor’s letter there at the pulpit. And in there he did write, ‘”The Gospel” means “the good news that Jesus died for your sins and rose again the third day.”’ That was quite the news to me. And I saw great and eternal and perfect wisdom in this Gospel that I had never before known of. I had never heard of this before the rapture; but after the rapture I read about it for my first time right here and right now. That meant that I could still get saved and not have to go to Hell. And I knew now for my first time that I needed to find out all about this Jesus so that I might end up in Heaven in my life to come. God did die for me. God did come back to life after death three days later. God wanted to be my personal Saviour.” He paused in this telling of the testimony of his first day of salvation.
“Two thousand years ago,…” said his winged white horse the next part of the letter, wherein was written the doctrine of Jesus.
“Two thousand years ago, the Lord Jesus Christ left His Father’s right hand side in the glories and comforts of Heaven to be born of a virgin in Bethlehem,” resumed Flanders his recitation of this letter. “You remember that letter almost as well as I remember that letter, girl.”
“I love to hear you tell the story of Jesus, Master,” said Century. “A winged horse like myself loves to hear how her master got saved as you did. Do tell me more, O Master.”
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And Flanders went on to tell more about that letter about Christ: “It said, ‘That virgin birth happened on the first Christmas on Earth. That child was the promised Messiah to come. Baby Jesus grew up into a young man. He increased in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man. When
He was thirty years of age, Jesus began His three-year Earthly ministry. In Matthew 4:17 it says, “From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” In Luke 8:1 it says, “And it came to pass afterward, that he went throughout every city and village, preaching and shewing the glad tidings of the kingdom of God: and the twelve were with him.” And in Matthew 9:36, God says, “But when he saw the multitudes, he was moved with compassion on them, because they fainted, and were scattered abroad, as sheep having no shepherd.” In Isaiah 53:6, the Lord writes, “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.” In John10:11 the Bible says in the Words of Jesus, “I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.” Again Jesus says in John 10:14,
“I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine.” Yet again Jesus says in John 10:27, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” This Good Shepherd is the
Lord Jesus Christ, and He is come that we may have life and that we may have life more abundantly. Because He is God in the flesh, He lived the perfect sinless life. He spoke out against sin and against sinners, and He found many enemies—the Pharisees, the Sadducees, the chief priests, the high priests, the scribes, the elders, the lawyers, all of the unbelieving Jews, all of the lost Gentiles, and Rome, even one of His own Apostles, who betrayed Him. Those who gave Him the most trouble were the false religionists of those days. This Messiah Who had come knew that He had come into this world that He must die. He must die for the sins of humankind. And His time had come when He was thirty-three years of age. The evil works of Judas Iscariot the traitor and of Pontius Pilate the governor and of Herod the king and the most illegal court trial in the history of mankind gave innocent Jesus the sentence of death. The Lord was to be crucified on a cross. It stood upon Mount Calvary. And Jesus
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willingly submitted His body to the executioners. He let the Roman soldiers nail his hands and his feet to the cross, and they raised the cross, and he hung there, dying on the cross. And the Lord shed His perfect sinless blood for us imperfect dirty, rotten sinners. At three o’clock in the afternoon, as Jesus
was dying, He spoke His last words on the old rugged cross, “Father, into Thy hands I commend My spirit.” And it was finished. As it is written, “Jesus, when he had cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost.” Matthew 27:50. Christ was dead. He had died in our place as our Substitute, so that we do not have to die and go to Hell. He had paid for our sins with His blood, so that we do not have to pay for our sins by burning in Hell forever. He did His great work thus of redemption for us, so that we can go to Heaven by grace through faith—through His own righteousness. With God’s sanguinary death, all we have to do to get to Heaven is to accept the free gift of eternal life. He made salvation a present for any who ask for it. After He had given up the ghost, Joseph of Arimathaea and Nicodemus
the good Pharisee took down the body of Jesus from the cross of crucifixion and laid it in a tomb in a cave. But, behold, Mary Magdalene came to that grave in the cave three days later, and the body of Jesus was not there. As an angel in that cave said to her, “Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified. He is not here: for He is risen, as He said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay.” This was the first Easter in the world. This was the miracle of the resurrection—the greatest event in all of Earth’s history. The Lord Jesus was alive again. And He was alive physically. Two travelers on a walk to Emmaus talked with Him. All of the Apostles saw Him. Five hundred believers who were brothers-in-the-Lord did see him all at once. Peter and the other Apostles ate a meal of broiled fish and honeycombs with Him. He showed the eternal nail prints in His hands and in His feet to His Disciples. And in Bethany, on the fortieth day, He blessed these twelve, and He ascended back up to Heaven as they watched. Now, the Saviour is again at His Father’s right hand side once again in the glories and the comforts of Heaven. And He is making intercession to the Heavenly Father for His children, the saints, the born-again Christians throughout the world.’” Flanders Nickels paused in his
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fervid remembrances of the letter that changed his eternal destiny there in the Church in the Wildwood.
Century spoke now and said, “I know what came next in the letter, Master.”
“Do tell me, girl,” said Flanders, also knowing so very well.
“The pastor wrote down two most efficacious eternal questions,” said the winged white horse.
Flanders recited those two eternal questions: “O Earth, what are you going to do with Jesus? O
world, what are you going to do about Christ?” He went on to add, “Right after that, that pastor wrote
most convincingly, ‘Your very own eternity depends on how you answer those two questions in your life yet down here. Where do you want to end up in the life to come? Do you want to live in Heaven with Jesus forever? Or do you want to live in Hell with Satan forever? Marvel not that I say unto you,
“You must be born again.”’ I had a pretty good idea by the end of reading that letter what it meant to be born again. I understood what I had to do to be born again. I needed to ask God to save my soul in order to be born again.”
“Just in case, though, that man of God went ahead and wrote a five-step plan of salvation summarizing all that he was preaching about to get saved,” said Century.
“Step one: Believe that you are guilty before a holy God. Step two: Believe that Christ, the spotless Lamb of God, is perfectly innocent. Step three: Believe that Christ is your Substitute. Step four: Believe that you cannot merit your own salvation. Step five: Trust Christ and know that you can have full assurance based on His finished work,” summed up Flanders Nickels from the letter.
“But the end of that salvation letter was what got you saved, Master,” said Century. “It was a sample prayer that you were supposed to pray from your heart to God that made you become a born-again Christian and on your way to Heaven.”
“Baptists call it ‘the sinners’ prayer,’” said Flanders Nickels. “That was the prayer that changed me into a born-again believer.” He went on to say, “At once, there at that pulpit of that mysterious Church in the Wildwood, I went ahead and sincerely and seriously and humbly prayed that prayer from
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the letter exactly as it was written down.” And the prophet went on to recite this prayer to Century once again: “Dear Father God, Who art in Heaven: I am a sinner. I am sorry for my sins. Please forgive me. I declare that Jesus the Lord shed His blood and died on the cross for me. I proclaim that Jesus the Lord rose again from the dead on the third day. I confess that I cannot save my own soul. Only Christ saves. I ask You now to become my personal Saviour. Keep me from Hell. Give me a home in Heaven. For forever, O Lord. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.”
“And a soul was saved, O Master,” sang out Century in great gladness.
“My soul!” exclaimed the Prophet of the End Times in joy and rejoicing.
“For forever,” she said.
“Once saved, always saved, girl,” said wise Flanders Nickels.
“Amen!” said his winged white horse in laud of the God of salvation.
Flanders Nickels looked out into the flowing waters again. So, too, did his beloved pet. The setting sun was now casting an orange glow upon the river that stretched from this shore to the other shore. “God’s sunset, girl,” Flanders praised Jesus the Creator.
“I love the God Who saved your soul, Master,” said Century.
And the Prophet of the End Times prayed quietly and fervently, “My Jesus, I love Thee.”
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CHAPTER IV
He woke up the next morning and saw Century leaning her head down by the riverbank and grazing. “Whatcha eating, girl?” he asked, getting up for the day.
“Clover this time, Master,” she said. “And what is with this ‘whatcha,’ like that?”
“I heard that people in Wisconsin talk like that,” said Flanders. “If I go and marry Tiffy up there, I might have to learn to talk like her.”
“Does the Unicorn Keeper talk like that?” asked Century.
“I do not know,” said Flanders. “I betcha she does.”
“’Betcha,’ Master?” inquired the winged horse.
“More Wisconsin talk, girl,” said Flanders with a laugh.
“Next you will be eating Wisconsin food,” said Century.
“Bratwursts and cheese curds,” said Flanders. “And good old Wisconsin cheese.”
“America’s dairy land, Wisconsin, my master,” said his pet she-horse.
“Where the Unicorn Keeper rules,” said the prophet.
“Shall we continue our trek, Master?” she asked.
“We must cross over this river,” he said.
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“By air or by land?” asked Century.
“Oh, by water, girl,” he said.
“But I might get my wings wet,” she said.
“Just be glad that you are not a unicorn, lest you might get your unicorn horn all wet,” he teased her right back.
“I am ever at your service, silly Master,” she said. Man and horse laughed together. And he mounted her, and they resumed their journey to the castle of the Unicorn Keeper. She waded across this river and onward on the land in trek.
After a while, the white winged horse asked, “Master, do you have a favorite chapter in the Bible?”
“Yes, I do. But it is a tie. It is both Matthew chapter four and Luke chapter four,” said the Prophet of the End Times. “Both of those chapters tell about Jesus’s temptation from the Devil in the wilderness.”
“Satan tempted even God, Master?” asked Century.
“Satan is both proud and audacious, Century,” said Flanders. “He tempted the Lord with three temptations out there.”
“Proud and bold—that’s Lucifer,” said Century.
“He was jealous of Jesus, because Jesus was God and he was not God,” said Flanders.
“What does the Bible say about that first temptation in the wilderness of the three?” asked Century.
“In that first one, Jesus was fasting. In fact he had nothing to eat for forty days and forty nights.
Having had not one bite of food all that time, His hunger was gnawing and fierce. Knowing this, the Devil came along and said to Christ, ‘If Thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread.’ And Christ said back to the Devil, ‘It is written, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by
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every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.”’ What the Lord did to the tempter was to rebuke him with a Bible verse. Jesus’s rebuke began with the three words, ‘It is written.’ That meant that Scripture was to follow in this rebuke. And this Scripture that Jesus thus assaulted the Devil with was from the Old Testament in the book of Deuteronomy. It was Deuteronomy 8:3, where it is written, girl,
‘And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not,
neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the Lord doth man live.’ And it was by quoting this Bible verse that the Lord prevailed in this first temptation in the wilderness.”
“I can see how such a one as the Devil hates to hear the Word of God,” said Century.
“Hence all of those false Bible versions out there that he had a hand in writing,” said Flanders.
“What does God’s Word say about that second temptation in the wilderness, Master?” asked the she-horse pet.
“In that second one, the Devil took Jesus into the holy city, and he put Him up on the pinnacle of the temple. Then he tempted Him with His own Scripture! He said to Him, ‘If Thou be the Son of God, cast Thyself down: for it is written, “He shall give His angels charge concerning Thee: and in their hands they shall bear Thee up, lest at any time Thou dash Thy foot against a stone.”’ The tempter also knew the Bible, girl. And the Bible verses that he tempted the Lord with were Psalm 91:11-12. And those go like this: ‘For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.’ Century, do you see something tricky here?”
“I surely do, Master,” said erudite Century. “The verse that the Devil said and the verse as it is in the Bible are the same, but they are not the same.”
“That wily and diabolical Devil purposefully misquoted Scripture to try to deceive Jesus and to make Him fall into sin,” said the Prophet of the End Times.
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“Satan said the Bible verse at Jesus, except for the phrase, ‘to keep Thee in all Thy ways,’ which the Devil did not say to Him,” said sagacious Century. “The Devil omitted Scripture in his quoting of it on purpose.”
“Of course he could not fool Christ with that, Century,” said Flanders.
“I bet that our Lord then went ahead and attacked the Devil with a Bible verse of His own—and with all of it, Master,” said his she-horse.
“Jesus then said to him, ‘It is written again, “Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God,”’” said the prophet to Century. Again our Good Lord quoted from the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy. This time it was Deuteronomy 6:16, which says, ‘Ye shall not tempt the Lord your God, as ye tempted him in Massah.’”
“And the Lord Jesus prevailed over the Devil’s second temptation in the wilderness,” said Century.
“Satan was losing,” said Flanders. “But he does not give up easily.”
“What does the Bible say about His third temptation alone with the Devil, Master?” asked his
avid listener.
“In that third time, the wicked one took Jesus up into a great and high mountain. And from way up there Satan showed Jesus all of the kingdoms of the world and all of the glory of these kingdoms. And the great tempter said to Him, ‘All these things will I give Thee, if Thou wilt fall down and worship me.’ Well, God was not going to worship Satan, of course. But what the tempter was saying to Jesus in this promise was that the day of the cross need not come to Jesus if He gave in to the Devil and did his simple little request. Of course Jesus went on to rebuke Satan, saying to him, ‘Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, “Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and Him only shalt thou serve.”’
Again Jesus quoted Old Testament Scripture to thus assault the Devil and to overcome his temptation.
Here Jesus quoted from Deuteronomy 6:13 and Deuteronomy 10:20. The former verse goes like this:
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‘Thou shalt fear the Lord thy God, and serve him, and shalt swear by his name.’ And the latter verse goes like this: ‘Thou shalt fear the Lord thy God; him shalt thou serve, and to him shalt thou cleave, and swear by his name.’ In this manner the Lord overcame this temptation number three from the Devil that day.”
“And the wily Devil was defeated in the wilderness,” said Century.
“Yes. The Devil left Jesus,” said the Prophet of the End Times. “And angels came and ministered unto Christ.”
“The Devil lost the battle,” said Century again.
“The Devil departed for a season,” said the prophet.
“For a season,” repeated the wise winged horse.
“Satan always comes back,” said Flanders Nickels.
Suddenly a great and mighty rushing wind swooped down upon him from behind, and he was knocked off of Century and fell hard to the ground. Wounded in his back, Flanders jumped to his feet and drew his sword. There stood before him a truly redoubtable fearsome creature the incarnation of evil. It was a baleful griffin. This was the Devouring Griffin. The prophet’s fellow soldier raised her fore hooves in challenge of this mighty griffin and neighed in confrontation. Flanders said in battle, “The Sword of the Lord, and of Flanders!” And the battle between good and evil suddenly took place.
The End Times Prophet swung his saber toward the Devouring Griffin’s neck in order to behead the great beast. But, most adept, the Devouring Griffin, with his wings, lifted up into the sky and evaded the death blow. And Flanders Nickels only succeeded in cutting off a few feathers from the outside of
the griffin’s eagle wings. One of the feathers landed on the right shoulder of Flanders, and, lo, it set fire upon Flanders’s shirt near his collar, and Flanders had to fall upon the ground and roll over and put out the fire before he got burned. Griffins’ feathers were much like dragons’ fires. And Flanders’s sword arm was now compromised with the shoulder wound. Meanwhile, Century lunged and pounced
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upon the gloating griffin where he stood, and she forced her front horse hooves hard into the griffin’s lion chest both at once. The Devouring Griffin betrayed a grunt of pain and stepped back away from
the horse warrior. Flanders put his sword in his left hand now that his right hand was weakened in its grip. He was not so sure now with his left hand. In this moment of indecision for the prophet/soldier, Century again assaulted the griffin with her fore hooves—this time by way of flight. But when she came in unto the Devouring Griffin, the most agile griffin dodged just to the side of the flying horse, quickly came in upon her in the air from behind, and did grab her by her equine back in both of its formidable eagle claws. And the Devouring Griffin lifted up high into the air, carrying the big white horse up with it in its eagle’s talons! Century would not cry out for help. But she was truly in great peril. Flanders had never seen so terrible a thing happen in battle to her before as this. Flanders raised his sword in the air in defiance of this great evil, and he said, “O Devouring Griffin, it is not Century that you are after. It is me who you are after. Let her go. Come after me. Let us do battle right now—you and I. Release your grip on my winged horse.”
Answering the challenge from Christ’s greatest soldier, the Devouring Griffin did let go of Century, and the winged horse, though awkwardly and with some struggle, safely lighted back down upon the ground beside her master.
And the Devouring Griffin, up in the air beyond the reach of the sword of the man of God, now spoke to the Prophet of the End Times, “O man of Christ, thou art for God. I be against God. Between thee and me can be no sharing of this Earth. I cannot rest day nor night so long as a prophet prophesies
Words of God. I do know thee from afar. I have been looking in upon thee. I know where thou art all the days of these End Times. And I know whither thou goest. I can burn thee with wings. I can rend thee with claws. I can scratch thee with talons. I can devour thee as a griffin. I can even change the
thoughts of thy mind. I, even I, rule this world as second-in-command of all that is this Earth. What canst thou know? Answer me, if thou knowest. What canst thou do? Stop me, if thou art able.”
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“O Devouring Griffin,” gave Flanders Nickels a word of reprisal, “I know Jesus Christ, and I can call upon His name in this battle. And you—even you—cannot prevail over the name of Jesus and over His Word.”
Suddenly the Devouring Griffin was upon him! Its great eagle beak tore down upon Flanders’s right rib cage and did fracture one of the ribs. Just as this happened, Flanders had swung his saber of God with his left hand toward the griffin’s right lion side. And man and horse heard a most raucous screech of consternation betrayed by the Devouring Griffin. The griffin stepped back a step away from
God’s sword fighter. Flanders stood there, neither advancing nor retreating, struggling to keep from falling down. Century, recovered now from her wounds, flew in upon the weakened griffin, and she bit this fell beast along the side of its eagle neck with her big horse teeth. Lo, the Devouring Griffin swung its left lion paw and swiped Century with it across the side of her own neck. And all three soldiers were wounded in battle. Flanders’s broken bone in his chest hurt and was making it hard for him to take a breath. The winged horse was bleeding along her neck, the red blood marring the beauty of her whiteness and of her white mane. The Devouring Griffin had red blood staining the tawny coat of its lion side, and its eagle neck had a serious gouge in it that did hurt almost as bad as the sword wound did. Neither good nor evil was afraid to fight. To Flanders’s dismay, even though this wicked griffin adversary was “the bad guy,” this “bad guy” was not afraid of a fight. And “the good guy” was now not so sure of winning this battle for God. And Flanders the Prophet of the End Times felt that he had finally met his match. And the great warrior was confused for this moment.
Then Century spoke up and said, “Master, Master, remember what Jesus did!”
Yes! When Jesus “did battle” with Satan in the temptations in the wilderness, He attacked the Devil with the Word of God. Even so now must the prophet do likewise with this Devouring Griffin.
Raising his sword of battle in the air with his left hand, Flanders Nickels avowed in utterance
at this fearsome creature, “In the name of my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, O Devouring Griffin, I
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rebuke you!”
At the name of Jesus Christ, the wounded Devouring Griffin betrayed a cry of pain, thus stricken by God. Conceding victory to Flanders and his horse, the Devouring Griffin fled for its life, quickly flying away from this man of God and his comrade. And it flew off away into the horizon, choosing to live to fight another day.
The great prophet and his she-horse looked at each other. Flanders asked, “Are you okay, girl?”
“I think that I will be okay in a few days, Master,” she said. “How are you doing?”
“It will take me a few days to get better, Century,” said Flanders Nickels.
Wise Century went on to say, “Master, we have contended against the Devouring Griffin, and yet we both live.”
“God was with us,” said the Prophet of the End Times.
Together the two wounded warriors sought and found a creek not far away. And they went into this flowing creek with their battle wounds. And the healing waters assuaged their pain and cured their
injuries. And they got better.
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CHAPTER V
Fully rested and recovered from the great battle, man and winged horse resumed their journey in the air toward Wisconsin’s northern countrysides. Way up the skies, Flanders looked down upon the Earth. He spoke, “Century, girl, Snow-Eagle and his mistress can never see the Earth as we see it right now way up here.”
“Our Maker has created me with wings,” said Century. Then she thought out loud, “That Snow-Eagle, though, Master—he truly is the unicorn of unicorns.”
Also thinking out loud, Flanders said, “And that Tiffany is truly the woman of women.”
Century began to reflect upon that Snow-Eagle. Great and majestic and noble, no mistress nor master ever had a more glorious unicorn as pet as did Snow-Eagle’s Unicorn Keeper. He was worldly acclaimed as greatest among unicorn-kind. Those who made reference to the Unicorn Keeper often followed her name with “and her Snow-Eagle.” He was the image of faithfulness. Any who spoke about Jesus before him dared not speak ill about Jesus, lest he incur the great unicorn’s wrath. And it was said by some that this Snow-Eagle had a battle between good and evil against the third-in-command of evil in this Tribulation and did slay him with his unicorn horn. Truth or legend, only this
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great he-unicorn knew for sure. And he, also, besides his mistress, was accounted foremost on this Earth.
Then Century thought again upon her beloved master. They loved to play games together. And their favorite game was always played way up here like this in the skies. She wanted now to play that game again. “Master,” she said, “would like to play our game ‘Daring-Do’ again right now?”
“I’m always up for a game of Daring Do, Century,” he agreed readily. “You go first,”
“Goofy Master, the game itself requires that I always go first,” she said, laughing at his wit.
“I’m ready, girl,” he said, and he leaned down and wrapped his arms around her neck.
“Hold on tight, Master,” she said.
“I’m holding on tight,” he said.
“On the mark. Get ready. Get set. Go,” she said. And she went. And this time she started their game by turning her form upside-down with her wings, thereby turning her master also upside-down way up here. Now he was below the horse, and the horse was above him, up here in the sky.
He held on tight. And she began to fly forward, even though she was not the least bit right-side-up.
“I’m getting really dizzy, O girl,” he said, relishing this exciting game.
“You love getting dizzy, Master,” she said, knowing him well. She continued flying forward, her back facing the earth. “Just remember all the somersaults you used to make as a boy that you always tell me about.”
“I know! I know!” he said, giddy and happy up here in Daring-Do thus. “Back in the good old days—forward somersaults and backward somersaults.” Then he asked, “Are you getting dizzy, girl?”
To this, she replied. “Did Pegasus ever get dizzy?”
“I would not think that he would get dizzy,” said Flanders.
“Then neither do I get dizzy,” bragged his winged horse. Then Century went on to do another impromptu trick in today’s Daring-Do. And the she-Pegasus first righted herself up here, and then she
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began to descend in a nose-dive straight toward the ground like a plane crashing.
“Whoa!” he said, holding on tightly “for dear life.”
“What do they say, Master? Something like thirty feet per second per second?” she asked.
“You mean the speed of falling in the law of gravity?” he asked.
“Yes!” she quipped succinctly.
“We are not falling in the speed of gravity,” he said. “We are falling with the speed of Century—the famous horse of the Prophet of the End Times.”
“Yes!” she again replied with a comedic terseness.
“Century, I do believe that we are about to crash into the ground,” he said, in the thrill of Daring-Do.
“Not this winged horse, Master,” she did brag. And most adroitly she did pull up with her great white wings not ten yards from the ground, and just as quickly did she begin ascending again.
“Whoa!” said Flanders.
“I heard you say that already,” she said.
“I had to say it again,” he said.
“Whoa!” said the winged horse, and both laughed together.
Then Century went ahead to perform a new trick never before done in any of their Daring-Dos:
Way up here, she went ahead and began to fly straight across—but with her body sideways in flight.
Her left side was parallel to the ground and facing the ground, and her right side was parallel to the ground and facing the sky. “Look, Master. I can do it!” she exclaimed in gaiety. And she continued flying thus, very most originally.
“Of all the crazy things to do, to go and do something this wacky, girl,” he said.
In fun she said, “Is that word ‘wacky,’ without an ‘h,’ or is that word ‘whacky’ with an ‘h?’”
“Does not the word ‘wine’ have no ‘h,’ and does not the word ‘whiskey’ have an ‘h?’” he
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answered a question with a question.
“My head is getting confused, Master,” she said in merriment.
“The teacher said that that that that that student used was incorrect,” he beguiled her with English savvy.
“Oh, you’re too much for a horse, Master,” she said.
“I know, Century,” he said.
Then Century went on to another old trick of Daring-Do, and she righted herself up and began to make revolutions in the air as the planets revolve around the sun. Century was now making broad and wide circles around and around horizontally way up here. “Orbits!” she proclaimed. “Do you like them, my master?”
“I do!” he said. “This is just like the rides at the fair!”
“But I know that you like the roller coasters at the theme parks better than you like the rides at the fair,” said Century.
“But I like this more than I do the theme parks and the fairs, good girl,” he confessed.
Then the she-horse declared her next trick, telling her skilled rider, “Now it is time for my rotations.”
“Rotate! Rotate!” cheered her rider. And Century furled her wings in a most artful manner, and
she began spinning in place. As the Earth and the moon rotate on their axis, so, too, was this horse of the skies rotating in the air where she stayed in one place. “Three hundred sixty degrees!” he cheered in describing this exhilarating trick.
“As you people say in something like this, ‘Weee!’” teased Century her master’s humanness.
“’Weee!’” said Flanders anyway. Then he said, “Just as you horses never say in any time.”
In the tease of the moment, wise Century gave forth a most simple neighing. And then she said,
“Does that sound like a horse to you?”
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“You sound like a dumb farm horse doing that, Century,” he did say.
Then Century went on to say, “The square of the length of the hypotenuse of a right triangle equals the sum of the squares of the lengths of the other two sides,”
“Now that sounds more like my learned Century,” Flanders said. And both master and pet laughed.
Then the she-horse noticed a building down on Earth below with a black roof and yellow letters on the roof. It was at the end of a cul-de-sac. She said, “Master, do you see what I see down there?”
He said, “I do! Can you read what it says?”
“I can,” she said. “It reads, ‘Three Musketeers Sword Shop.’”
“A store with its name on the roof!” said Flanders,
“Just like the store where you got your sword, Master, by divine means,” said Century. “That sword shop also had its name on the roof—black roof with red letters!”
“Yes! Yes!” he said.
“Do you want to go down and take a look at it, Master?” she asked.
“No, I’ve got a woman to go and find. And I already have my sword,” he said. “My sword came from God. Those swords come from men.”
“Those red letters on that supernatural sword shop did read, ‘Swords, Incorporated.’” she said, having heard and enjoyed the great prophet’s story before. “Tell me all about it, Master—again–how you got your Sword of the Lord, and of Flanders.”
“The Sword of the Spirit,” said the Prophet of the End Times in sweet remembrances. Up here in the sky, he unsheathed his sword, looked at it, and sheathed it again. And he told the story again to his doting she-horse friend: “It was right after I had that dream like unto Joshua’s encounter with the captain of the Lord’s host in the Bible. When I woke up that morning, I knew that God wanted for me to go and find the greatest saber in the world. Though I was disappointed upon waking to not find that
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dream sword on the floor beside my bed, I did find a most mysterious little calling card on the floor beside my bed.”
“What did it say?” she asked.
“You know,” he said.
And she said it, “’Swords, Incorporated.’ We sell swords for work and for play. Our telephone number is ‘555-5555 area code 555.’ Our address is inside the roundabout where Athos Street and Porthos Street and Aramis Street intersect. And our township is Gascony Province. We are open for business when you arrive. Proprietor, shopkeeper, and merchant, Monsieur Forge Founder.”
“’Where was this?!’ I asked myself. And then I knew that my part was to go, and God’s part was to get me there where it may be,” said Flanders. “So I rented a winged donkey named ‘Associate,’
and I went traveling by faith.”
“That was before you found me, Master,” said Century.
“Associate was a good and talkative donkey,” said Flanders. “And we talked about many things there in the air those couple of days. Football, women’s gymnastics, tornadoes and hurricanes, Aristotle, even the North and South Poles, we had quite the conversations.”
“And you talked about the sword you were going to get,” said Century.
“I did the talking about that,” said the Prophet of the End Times. “The winged donkey could not understand that too well. But God did use him to get me to the sword store. I first saw that sword store the same way we both just now saw that other sword store—by way of the store sign on the roof.
It was as if the storekeeper had known that I was going to come by air and not by land. We landed. I dismounted. I stood before the store. I saw no sign for travelers on the land. I saw no door. I saw no merchant. But I was standing before this Swords, Inc., and I was where God had me to arrive. I then waited upon God for what He would do next. Behold, a most hirsute black-haired man, burly and sweating, and with a workman’s apron around his tattered clothes came up to me from a workroom
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building just off to the side of the store. He looked and dressed a lot like a blacksmith, and his shop he came out of looked like a blacksmith’s shop. And I felt heat coming out of his workroom. And he said to me, ‘Mr. Flanders Nickels, I presume.’ I asked, ‘And you are Monsieur Forge Founder?’ He said,
‘I am he, The Lord is with you, O mighty man of valor.’ He then looked to this store with no door, and he said, ‘Let us go in, O son of God.’ He raised his sweaty work hand, and, lo, suddenly a door appeared in the wall. This man was an angel! And he opened this door, and we went in. And I looked around his great sword store, expecting to see maybe even a thousand swords, where I could shop all day and pick out the best one. Lo, though Swords, Inc, was a sword shop of shelves and racks and drawers and cupboards, this spacious sales floor had not one sword for sale anywhere. This angel’s store was empty of merchandise. No sword was for sale at Swords, Incorporated. Yet Forge Founder went on to say, ‘We sell the finest quality swords in the Western world, O great sword fighter.’ Now I was not this great sword fighter at that time, and the swords, well, you know, Century—I did not see any.”
“It was saved for you in the backroom in the store’s back stock,” said Century.
“Yes, it was in the back among the overstock,” said Flanders. “And it was the only merchandise
that this angel had in his shop’s backroom.” Flanders continued, “It glowed with the brightness of God.; yet it lay upon a dusty wooden shelf. I picked it up, and it was in my hands light like the freedom found in Christ, even though I had expected it to be heavy. The shopkeeper said that the Holy Spirit indwelt this sword, whereas usually only born-again Christians are indwelt by the Holy Spirit. And one moment the sword’s blade was straight, and the next moment the sword’s blade was curved.
Then straight again. Then curved again. Forge Founder then said to me, ‘Speak the word, and it shall
cease its metamorphoses.’ ‘What shall I say?’ I asked. He said, ‘Say either “straight” or “curved,” and it shall stop changing on you.’ ‘I never held a sword before,’ I said to him. ‘Which style blade do you think would better avail you as a sword fighter, O Flanders, man of God?’ the angel asked me.
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‘Straight!’ I said right out. And he said, ‘Thus you have decided, O great warrior. For now on your sword shall be of a straight blade.’ I watched and saw that it no longer went back to being curved anymore. ‘This is truly a sword of the Lord, Forge,’ I did say. And Forge said, ‘This is truly the Sword of the Lord, Flanders. The day will come where you shall proclaim to the world about this work wrought that is in your hands, “The Sword of the Lord, and of Flanders.”’ I asked him then, ‘How much are you asking for this great battle sword?’ And he said, ‘All that God asks of you for payment for this saber is that you dedicate your life to the cause of slaying the two evil rulers of this End Times world.’ I gasped and said, ‘I, alone, against the great griffin and the great dragon?’ Forge said, ‘God will be with you and with your sword, O Christian soldier.’ Upon hearing this good reminder, I said, ‘I accept.’ Then I said that I would start my training right that day. But Forge Founder said, “O soldier for and of Christ, it is not for you to train physically and mentally with the sword, but rather to grow spiritually in Christ. God’s will be that your sword fighting skills will supernaturally grow only as you spiritually grow in Christ. The more mature you become in the faith, behold, the better sword fighter you thus become. Spread the Word that God has divinely put into your soul. Pray always. Obey God’s commandments. Attend a good Baptist church every time the doors are open. Sing the hymns and the carols that songwriters have glorified God with. Knock on doors and win souls. Give tithes and offerings to God’s good Baptist pastors and their churches. In doing this, and doing this in fullness, you shall become the greatest swordsman the world has ever known. Indeed does our Lord work in strange and mystifying ways. As it is written, O son of God in Matthew 6:33. “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things will be added unto you.”’”
“So, Master,” said Century, after hearing this great true tale about the Sword of the Spirit, God had it so that the better you became as a born-again believer, the better you became as a fighter with your sword. Where do you think that Forge Founder is now, do you think?”
“He’s back in Heaven now, probably forging and founding God’s swords,” said Flanders.
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CHAPTER VI
Way up in the sky, master and winged horse looked down upon the Earth. Behold, a great and vast body of water coming up as they traveled west. “Master, is that what I think it is?” asked Century.
“It is, girl,” said Flanders. “It is.”
“Lake Michigan, right there below us!” said the winged white horse.
“Wisconsin is now not far away from us at all!” said Flanders.
“Are you nervous?” asked Century.
“About meeting the girl?” asked Flanders.
“Yep!” she said.
“I think that I am now,” he said. “What is it like to first meet a woman that you are in love with already?”
With a merry laugh, Century said, “The Prophet of the End Times is afraid of a woman.”
“She is no ordinary woman,” said the prophet.
“You are no ordinary man,” said his pet with sagacious words. “She will surely be nervous when she sees that the world’s greatest fellow has come to her castle to woo her, O Master.”
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“Do you mean ‘nervous’ as ‘afraid?’” asked Flanders.
“No. I mean ‘nervous’ as in ‘self-conscious’ and ‘flattered’ and ‘honored,’ Master,” said Century.
“She will be glad that I have come then?” asked Flanders.
“Just as you will be glad that you had come,” said Century.
“How do you know so much about romance things, yourself being a talking horse?” asked Flanders.
“Because I know all of this as an impartial third party, Master,” said Century. “I am not a confused young man in love.”
“What if she finds out that I am ugly to her?” asked Flanders.
“Master, such a famous woman as she surely knows what a famous man like you looks like,”
reassured Century.
“What if I find out that she finds me ugly when I get there?” asked Flanders.
“That has not stopped you from coming this far just to find out,” said Century.
“It is written, girl,” recited the End Times Prophet scripture, “’There be three things which are too wonderful for me, yea, four which I know not:…; and the way of a man with a maid.’ Proverbs 30:18-19.”
“So much water down there, Master,” said his winged white horse.
“It is duly called ‘a Great Lake,’” said Flanders. Then he said, “Have you been careful with the saddlebags, girl? I don’t want to lose my present to the great Unicorn Keeper somewhere down in Lake Michigan.”
“Miss Shires’s black one-piece swimsuit is safe and sound and dry, Master,” said Century.
“That’s good,” said Flanders Nickels. “That’s good.”
“You’ve got a fetish, my master,” said Century.
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“I’m a man with a fetish and no dream girl woman right now. And I am a man with a fetish and a dream girl woman not long from right now,” said Flanders.
“What do people guys see in one-piece swimsuit people gals?” asked the flying horse.
“I know what I see in them,” said Flanders. “What I see in a one-piece swimsuit woman is a ‘goddess.’”
“But what do maillot women see in their maillots?” asked the white horse.
“What do American women think about one-piece swimsuits?” asked Flanders.
“They are probably not starstruck in the women’s swimwear department when they go shopping for themselves as you would be in the women’s swimwear department if you go shopping for them,” said Century, thinking out loud upon the mind of human women.
“Do you think that there are thirty-year old women like Tiffany who do not like going swimsuit shopping for some reason, Century?” asked Flanders Nickels, taken back by surprise.
“They say that Wisconsin women are big women, Master,” said Century. “Maybe women are afraid of what they might look like if they buy a maillot that makes them look big or unattractive or somewhat not perfect.”
“Do you think that there really are women out there who are big and unattractive and somewhat not perfect even if they do have on a one-piece swimsuit?” asked Flanders, unsure of his daydreams of going to K-Mart or Shopko with a girlfriend to buy her a maillot off the rack.
“Not all real one-piece swimsuit girls look like the one-piece swimsuit girls you see in the department store ads, Master,” said Century.
“What do you think about Tiffy in my black one-piece swimsuit I have for her, Century?” asked Flanders. “Do tell me that she looks like one of the swimsuit women in the ads.”
“The Unicorn Keeper is a slender woman,” said Century what all the world knew about her.
“Would she go and put it on for me, do you think?” asked Flanders.
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“Miss Tiffany Shires, of all women, has the least to worry about when it comes to women’s doubts about a maillot, O Master,” declared Century all due praise to the great woman.
“I’m beginning to see how different most girls are from myself about these maillot matters,” said Flanders Nickels. “All of the world knows that the Unicorn Keeper has her own thing about one-piece swimsuits, as I do. But maybe normal American women simply look upon a one-piece swimsuit as something to wear that is more modest than a two-piece swimsuit. Maybe women out there are more interested in a one-piece swimsuit just as something to wear at the beach or at the pool. Maybe a maillot is something to put on just to sit out in the sun for them. They may actually walk around in a one-piece swimsuit like no man’s business and not feel some sense of arousal from it. And women are not stimulated in looking at maillot gals. But for us guys, a maillot gal fills us with a type of passion of fever. Why are they the lucky ones who can be one-piece swimsuit women? In one of my prayers lately, Century, I got to daydreaming about being an eighteen-year-old one-piece swimsuit goddess dressed in black and playing in the rain outside, getting my black maillot all wet, and showing off my form to everybody passing by who might see. It is in fantasies like this where I do kind of regret my male gender given me by my Maker. The cut of the cloth; the feel of the material—the woman Tiffany knows all about such garments. And it is her real female self inside of it. And it is good. And if I have her as my black-one-piece-swimsuit goddess or as the red, white, and blue one-piece swimsuit goddess,
I shall be happy forevermore. And she and I, as boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-the-Lord, can go maillot shopping together for her at all the departments stores in all the malls—not just the Boston Store and Shopko, but also K-Mart and Elder-Beerman and the White Store and Younker’s and Penney’s and
Sears and Prange-Way and Ward’s and Fleet Farm and Wal-Mart and Target and Kohl’s and T.J. Maxx.”
“Why, Master, all these things that you will do with the Unicorn Keeper, and you have not even asked her out first of all,” said Century.
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“Tiffy is there now, just on the other side of this Lake Michigan,” said the Tribulation prophet.
“You have faith now, Master,” said his Century.
“I do, girl,” said Flanders Nickels. “God shall bring us together for forever.”
And they continued on in their flight above this Great Lake. After a while of silent prayer, Flanders said, “Would you like a fun sermon right now, Century?”
“Yes, Master. I love to hear you preach,” said his winged white she-horse.
“What would you like to hear me speak on this time?” asked Flanders.
“Can I hear all about the five crowns again?” she asked.
“The crown of righteousness and the incorruptible crown and the crown of rejoicing and the crown of life and the crown of glory?” asked the wise and learned prophet.
“Yes, O Master, those five exactly,” said Century.
And Flanders Nickels gave a sermon to his best friend and pet about the five crowns mentioned in Scripture once again to both of their delights: “There is the crown of righteousness mentioned in II Timothy 4:7-8, which is given to those believers who love the Lord’s appearing: ‘I have fought a good
fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.’ Those saints down here who know in their heart that to be with Christ is far better will have this crown of righteousness Up There in Heaven. Such Christians as these who earn this crown thus did in this life more than anything else desire to be with their Saviour, to walk with Him in Heaven, and to talk with Him face to face. In this world before this Tribulation, such a believer’s heart as this desired the rapture of the church with a blessed hope. Here in this Tribulation, such with this crown waiting for them, await the Second Coming of the Lord at the end of this Tribulation. That is I, girl. This crown, which is my favorite, is to me a symbol, yet here in this life, of a heart made right with God. It proves that that Christian does love the Lord Jesus Christ with
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all of his heart and with all of his soul and with all of his mind and with all of his strength. This kind of
born-again believer never forgets that it is his personal Saviour Who makes Heaven Heavenly. In fact, girl, one could almost say about us crown of righteousness saints, that ‘we are so Heavenly minded, that we are no earthly good.’”
“But that is a good thing, Master,” said wise Century.
“Aye, Century, That it is,” said Flanders.
“Now tell me about the incorruptible crown, my master,” said his captive audience up here in the sky.
“This incorruptible crown is given in Heaven to those believers who did let Christ control their lives down here on Earth,” said Flanders.
“I Corinthians 9:24-27, as you tell me,” said his white she-horse.
And the Prophet of the End Times recited these four Bible verses: “Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible. I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air: But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.” He continued his preaching on this incorruptible crown: “The man or woman or child who has earned this crown was a faithful steward of his time and of his talents and of his money that God had given him. And Up in Heaven, God will say to such a man, ‘Well done, thou good and faithful servant,’ and He will give this man this crown.”
“That is your second favorite crown in the Bible, Master,” said Century.
“I hope I get that one when I get There,” said the wise prophet.
“Now tell me about your third favorite crown,” said the flying she-horse.
“The crown of rejoicing, O Century—the soul-winners’ crown,” said Flanders.
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“You’ve earned this crown of rejoicing many times over with the way you have told the world about the Gospel, my master,” said Century.
“It is written about this crown of rejoicing, good girl, ‘For what is our hope, or joy, or crown of rejoicing? Are not even ye in the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ at his coming. For ye are our glory and joy.’ I Thessalonians 2:19-20.”
“The price of one soul is worth more than all the wealth of the world, as your pastor has told you, Master,” said Century. “And the only thing that a child of God can bring with him Up to Heaven is a won soul for Jesus, as you have told me.”
“With God, you and I have seen a revival here in the United States, O Century,” said Flanders.
“The Prophet of the End Times speaking the Word of God has done great good for the cause of Christ and the cause of the souls of people, O Master,” the white horse lauded her owner. In short, Century said that Flanders Nickels was the catalyst to this revival in America, and that God was the cause of this revival in America.
“And then there is that fourth crown—the crown I do not like to think about, O Century,” said Flanders Nickels. “I do not like trials. Ow! When they come. Ouch! When they strike me.”
“Oh, that is the crown of life,” said Century.
“Yikes, the crown for those who suffer, girl,” said Flanders. “It is the crown for us End Times believers—particularly those Tribulation martyrs for Christ.”
“The crown of life,” repeated his flying white horse.
“It is written, Century, about you and I in these dark seven years, ‘Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer: behold, the devil shall cast some of you into prison, that ye may be tried; and ye shall have tribulation ten days: be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life.’ Revelation 2:10. And again it is written, ‘Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.’ James
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1:12.”
“Are you afraid to die for Christ, Master?” asked Century.
“Going by way of the clouds is more comforting that going by way of the vale, girl,” confessed
the great soldier.
“You’re saying that the rapture would have been easier than maybe dying as your way to go to
Heaven to be with Jesus,” said Century.
“But Pastor always tells me that dying, for a Christian, is like going to sleep and waking up in Heaven,” said Flanders Nickels.
“Our good Baptist pastor is surely going to get that fifth crown that you always talk about,” said Century. “That crown for those pastors who are faithful to God’s call.”
“It is called ‘the crown of glory,’ and Pastor will get that crown that I cannot ever get, myself not being a pastor,” the prophet bragged on his minister.
“Our pastor is surely God’s man,” said Century.
“It is written about him and his crown of life waiting for him in Glory, ‘Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind; Neither as being lords over God’s heritage, but being ensamples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away.’ I Peter
5:2-4, That is Pastor, who taught me all that I know and who made me what I am.”
“And what does a Christian do with his crown or crowns up in Glory?” asked Century a question that her master had answered for her long ago. “Why, he gives the crown or crowns right back to Jesus before His throne in Heaven. These crowns belong to Jesus, were given by Jesus, and are
returned to Jesus—for His glory and His honor and His praise and His thanks.”
“You said it well, girl,” said the Prophet of the End Times. “We saints will not be walking around Up There with crowns on our heads.”
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Horse and rider looked down upon the great lake beneath them in awe and wonder. “The Unicorn Keeper will be in for a good and pleasant surprise when the Prophet of the End
Times comes knocking on her castle door, Master,” said the she-horse.
“And her ten unicorns will be delighted to see you, Century,” said Flanders. “You are the most famous horse in all the world.”
And they continued crossing the wide and long Lake Michigan on toward God’s Country and the HomeStead of the Unicorn Keeper and her ten unicorns.
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CHAPTER VII
Up in the firmament above Lake Michigan, the two travelers looked down upon a peninsula between two waters—one a great waters; and the other a less waters. “Master,” asked Century, “what do you think that that little piece of land might be between the two waters down there?”
Flanders said, “I believe that that is called ‘Door County,’”
“Then it follows that we are at the other side now of this Lake Michigan,” said the she-horse. Then she asked, “What might be the name of that little bay there beyond Door County, O Master?”
“I think that the people there call it ‘the bay of Green Bay,’ girl,” said Flanders Nickels.
“That tells me that we are now coming into Wisconsin,” said Century.
“Wisconsin,” said Flanders in reverie.
“Where the Unicorn Keeper lives,” said his equine confidante.
“You know me well, girl,” said the prophet.
“We are almost there now,” said Century.
“My Tiffany, I come,” said Flanders in ardor.
“I hear great affection in your voice, O Master,” said his white horse.
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“I have never fallen in love for real before,” said Flanders.
“I can’t wait to get there, also, Master,” said his she-horse. “I will be privileged to meet the great woman as well, but it will be different for you than for me.”
“We have now come into the state of Wisconsin, Century,” declared Flanders. “Now turn and head north.”
“That I shall do, Master,” said Century. And she turned and began to head north. And they began their last span of journey here in the air.
After a while, Flanders said, “Now let us light.” And the great winged horse spread her wings out, and she glided downward to the ground in a long gentle spiral. They landed. Flanders said, “Thank you, girl.” And he dismounted.
Century said, “We are still one mile away from the Unicorn Keeper’s land, Master.”
“Let us walk together this last glorious mile of our long journey, Century,” said Flanders. And master and pet began their last mile of trek on foot toward the place of the Unicorn Keeper and her ten unicorns.
Suddenly all the air about them was fire and smoke and brimstone. “Get down!” commanded Flanders in exigency. With a frightened neigh, Century obeyed and fell to the ground. Flanders fell to the ground as well and covered his head with his arms. And a blast of fire passed by right above where they now lay, missing them, and it dissipated in the air beyond. Above, a baleful shadow of evil cast a
darkness upon the two travelers. “Arise,” commanded Flanders his winged horse now. And both leaped to their feet. They looked up, Flanders’s sword drawn and Century’s hooves stomping the ground. Behold, a great dragon of redoubtable might lighted now upon the ground not fifty feet ahead of where the two of God now stood, and when he lighted, the ground shook. He was black all over. He had scales of armor across his chest and across his stomach. His teeth were more numerous than any crocodile’s, and they were large and long and sharp. His tail could fell trees. His forelegs could grab a
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man and pick him up and carry him away and let him fall. His hind legs could stomp a horse into submission or worse. His back was lined with armor plates like unto a stegosaurus of days past. His evil eyes glowed with an intimidating red. And his great black wings could smother a house. And from between his closed teeth and from the nostrils of his nose billowed out thick black smoke. This was the dragon of dragons. This was the Consuming Dragon. This was the ruler of the world in this time of Earth’s Tribulation.
And this Consuming Dragon spoke now before them, saying, “O prophet, who doth oppose me, put down thy great sword before me.”
With the valor of a preeminent soldier for Christ, the Prophet of the End Times replied, “I shall not put down my sword, O Consuming Dragon, until we have finished slaying you.”
“I shall not tarry with a mortal,” scoffed the Consuming Dragon. The dragon suddenly opened his mouth, and he shot out fire from his mouth again now toward Flanders, aiming for Flanders’s sword arm. But the fifty feet that separated dragon from sword fighter was too far away for the dragon fire to reach him; and the fire dissipated in the air before it got to him.
Wise Century saw that right now there was no smoke coming out of the dragon’s nose and mouth, and she said, “Master, the dragon is temporarily out of fire.”
“Attack!” gave Flanders battle commands, and sword fighter and winged horse charged on the ground toward the great dragon of evil where he stood. Unafraid, the Consuming Dragon did not move
from where he stood. And all three collided in a crash. Yet the forces of good fell to the ground before the force of evil. The Consuming Dragon then stepped out onto Flanders with his front right leg, and he stepped out on Century with his front left leg. And the two warriors for God were pinned crushingly into the ground beneath the dragon’s massive weight.
And the proud Consuming Dragon said, “Ha! Ha! Ha!” And he rolled his eager dragon tongue around his ready dragon teeth, And he said, “It is time for dinner.” And he said this time, “He! He!
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He!” in more proud laughter. Indeed, neither could Flanders now swing his sword, nor could Century now flap her wings. This army of two was never before so subdued as they were now. But the Consuming Dragon was savoring his presumed victory before it was accomplished with unwise procrastination and mockery and laughter. And Flanders where he did lie, spoke a Bible verse about dragons and their doom point-blank into the Consuming Dragon, “It is written, ‘And I saw an angel come down from heaven, having the key of the bottomless pit and a great chain in his hand. And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years,’ Revelation 20:1-2.” This was the imminent future of the Dragon whom this Consuming Dragon served so consummately. And the truth of this Bible verse and the words of God of this Bible verse spoken by this Prophet of the End Times struck the Consuming Dragon hard into his head with supernatural power of God. And this great and mighty foe grew disorientated in his head, and he became enfeebled in his legs, and he became suddenly unsure of this battle. And with confusion and bewilderment, he stepped off of the two Christian warriors, and retreated from battle another step, and stood there overwhelmed by the efficacious and effectual Word of God from the Holy Bible. Suddenly
the world’s greatest evil warrior did not know what to do in the midst of battle. Freed thus, man and horse struggled and got back to their feet. Flanders gave battle commands again, saying to her and to himself, “Assault!” And for a long moment Flanders had free reign with his Sword of the Spirit to hack away armor from the Consuming Dragon where he stood, and Century had free reign to fly and strike with her hooves the head of the Consuming Dragon where he stood. And the dragon of dragons was wounded. And this lasted for one minute. Then the Consuming Dragon began to recover from the Scripture verse from Revelation, and he began to regain his strength. He shook his great draconic head,
cleared his senses now, and became aware now once again. And he was ready now to fight back with a fierce vengeance. He reached out with his dragon mouth and grabbed Flanders’s sword wrist, and he snapped that right wrist back severely, breaking its bones with one fell jerk. Next, he lifted himself up
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in the air just above where Century was leaping, and he began to beat down upon her with his powerful
dragon’s wings, until she collapsed to the ground in a heap. Putting his Sword of the Spirit now in his left hand, Flanders assaulted and drove back the Consuming Dragon away from the dazed Century.
“Curses to thy sword, O thou Flanders Nickels!” yelled out the dragon in frustration.
“To God be the glory,” praised Flanders his Jesus in confidence now.
Then a thought came upon the countenance of the Consuming Dragon, a secret thought not deciphered yet by the great prophet; and with an unnerving new bravado, the dragon went on to rebut
Flanders’s declaration, saying, “To Satan be this victory.”
The Prophet of the End Times was suddenly uncertain. But the dragon made his idea quite manifest when he said now to him, “Flanders Arckery Nickels, look thou now into my evil red eyes and hear thou now what my evil speaking tongue has to say to you.”
Flanders remembered how this particular Consuming Dragon had supernatural power in his evil eyes. And he turned his gaze well away from his red dragon eyes as the dragon now bade him, “Come up ye now—thou and thy brave horse—into the skies and do contend against me there.”
Not fazed by the evil eyes that he was avoiding in his gaze, Flanders replied strongly, “Consuming Dragon, it is not for me or any other to take on in battle a prince of the power of the air in his own air.” This wise man would not let himself be enchanted by this dragon’s black magic of red eyes.
So, the Consuming Dragon with his red evil eyes turned to the pet horse, and he said also unto her, “O great mare of the Most High, I bid thee look me in the eyes and hear what I have to ask of you.”
Century found herself captivated by those dragon eyes and looked into them and would not turn away.
Yet, in seeking what she thought was prudence, she began to sing a hymn to shut out the dragons’ words from her ears. Yet the Consuming Dragon was still telepathically powerful enough in his dragon-hood to cogently say in the silence of his red eyes into the heart of Century, “Come up thou
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with me in the sky, and may we fight together in the sky.” The hymn ceased abruptly.
Flanders suddenly saw his Century look different to him now. Something was not right with her all of a sudden. He ventured to speak to her, asking, “Century, girl, are you okay?”
“I feel okay, Master,” she replied, seemingly unchanged.
“I was worried for you for a while there,” said Flanders.
Then Century said, “God told me that we must fight the Consuming Dragon in the sky to win,
O Master,” said his white winged horse most unwise strategy against a dragon.
“Nay, Century, God did not say such a thing to you,” said Flanders in warning. “As for what I think, God wants us to fight against the Consuming Dragon here upon the ground or close to the ground.”
“Nay, Master!” boldly spoke Century in her first rebellion against her master.
“The dragon put those words into your mind, O girl,” entreated the prophet in this dire moment.
Most uncharacteristically stubborn, she persisted, saying, “Hop on my back, Master. We shall fly upward, and the dragon shall fly upward, and we shall defeat him in the air once and for all. Just think of it, Master. The Consuming Dragon will be dead. What could be better for God’s Earth than that?”
“Century, no winged horse and her rider are a match for a demon like this in the Devil’s air!” urged Flanders. “Listen to me, girl!”
To exacerbate this fighting in the ranks, the Consuming Dragon tempted Century beyond her breaking point by being the first one to fly up into the skies.
“Look, Master! He’s getting away!” the she-horse pet snapped at Flanders Nickels.
The Consuming Dragon was not attempting to get away. He simply came up here to wait for Century to come after him up here alone.
“He’s baiting you, girl!” cried out Flanders. “I implore you—stay down here with me!”
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“I can see that if I want the job to be done, I shall have to do it alone,” Century rebuked her master in no uncertain hostility.
“Girl, have I ever led you wrong before?” asked Flanders, helpless.
“I can see now that there is a first time even for that, Flanders,” his pet spoke in animosity toward him, addressing him by his first name now for her first time.
And in horror, the Prophet of the End Times beheld his errant Century fly up into the skies to challenge the Consuming Dragon in the skies, where the demons lurk. And this Consuming Dragon
gave forth a horrific laughter that echoed across the skies as she approached him: “Ho! Ho! Ho!”
And at once he did grab the she-horse with his dragon mouth in a death grip no equine could extricate herself from. Century knew now that she was wrong and Flanders was right. And she knew that she was about to die. Yet she did not cry out like a frightened female horse. Even in her last moment of life she held on to the dignity that had always been Century’s. And she said in a quiet voice, “Jesus, I come.” Then the Consuming Dragon shook Century about in his jaws as a dog shakes a caught rabbit.
Then he bit down hard and deep into Century’s form in his teeth. Then he opened his jaws and let fall Century one hundred feet down to the ground. Century’s carcass landed right before where Flanders did stand.
“I won, O Prophet of the End Times,” declared the Consuming Dragon.
“And yet you shall be the one who flees in this battle, O Consuming Dragon!” proclaimed Flanders Nickels.
“What canst thou do to stop me from slaying you now that thou no longer hast thy great martial comrade alive anymore, O man alone?” bragged the proud dragon of dragons.
“I still have God’s Word to speak to you, O Consuming Dragon,” said the Prophet of the End Times. “I dare you to come down and hear me say some Bible verses.”
Remembering what the last ones did to him, the dragon said, “I shall not come down to you and
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take you out quite yet, O End Times Prophet.”
“Then you shall hear me say a Bible verse where you do shake now up there, O Consuming Dragon,” uttered Flanders.
“Speak not thou the Word of God in a dragon’s presence, O born-again believer,” said the dragon who had just easily slain a deceived equine soldier.
But Flanders said it to him anyway, “It is written, ‘And the parched ground shall become a pool, and the thirsty land springs of water: in the habitation of dragons, where each lay, shall be grass with reeds and rushes.’ Isaiah 35:7. Your own kind—O Consuming Dragon—all dragons everywhere—shall soon be all gone from God’s Earth. And right after that, Jesus shall establish His good and godly Millennial Reign on Earth. And you will be in Hell. And you know that. And you cannot do anything about it.”
“Punched” by this Bible verse and its truth, the Consuming Dragon at once fled the Prophet of the End Times from this battle in disgrace.
Flanders then looked down before his feet. There in a most terrible heap was she who had been Century. The battle done, his best friend dead, Flanders now fell upon most mournful grief. And he began to weep over her, his broken voice saying, “Century…Century…Century.” He fell upon his knees before her. He would not touch her anymore. She would never again respond to his voice. And with tears he buried her in a tomb of rocks. Then in overwhelming fatigue, he lay down beside her grave and fell asleep.
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BOOK III
CHAPTER I
Miss Tiffany Kimberley Shires was in her bedroom reading her Bible, her singular Good Book open to the book of Ecclesiastes, her second favorite book of the canon of Scripture. She began to read out loud the beginning of this most philosophic book written by wise Solomon: “’The words of the preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem. Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity. What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun? One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever. The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to his place where he arose. The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to his circuits. All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again. All things are full of labour; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing. The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun. Is there any thing whereof is may be said, See, this is new? It hath been already of old time, which was
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before us. There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after.’ Ecclesiastes 1:1-11.” About this passage of Bible verses, the Unicorn Keeper knew what Solomon was saying: Life without God was meaningless, and life with God was meaningful. Her personal relationship with her Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ made the difference for her. She put her hand to her red and white striped shoulder strap, then put her hand to her blue field of white stars over her belly, and she said, “Thank You, God, for my patriotic maillot You let me have.”
Just then she heard the tooting of a familiar unicorn horn calling up to her from the Commons below. It was Snow-Eagle. He had something important to tell her. And Tiffany ran through the rooms and hallways upstairs here to the other end, opened the last door before the steps going down, leaned over the railing, and looked upon good Snow-Eagle down below alone. “What do you have to tell me, Snow-Eagle?” she asked.
“My Mistress,” he said, “I have received a message from Sentinel and Sentry.”
“Ooo, what do they have to say?” she asked. And she ran down the stairs to Snow-Eagle as if to hear the message more quickly that way.
Snow-Eagle said to her, “They have found a man out there.”
“A man?” she asked.
“Yes, and quite a man, my mistress!” said Snow-Eagle.
“A man within?” she asked, in query of whether he were in God’s Country.
“A man beyond,” Snow-Eagle replied, answering that he was yet outside of God’s Country.
“What do you mean by ‘quite a man,’ O Snow-Eagle?” asked the Unicorn Keeper.
“We ten unicorns have all seen him, but he has not seen any of us,” said Snow-Eagle.
“If that is so, then it follows that he is either sleeping or wounded,” she guessed.
“The man is both, we do believe, Mistress,” said Snow-Eagle.
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“Perhaps we should go and help this man,” said Miss Shires.
“Mistress, perhaps I should tell you whom we unicorns think that we saw out there wounded and resting so near to our yard,” said Snow-Eagle.
“He sounds like a great warrior,” she said, venturing guesses.
Into the castle came Sentry and Sentinel. They asked, “Did you tell her what we think, Snow-Eagle?” In reply, Snow-Eagle glanced at the Unicorn Keeper. The two guardians knew from this that their mistress did not know yet.
Their mistress then turned to the two guardian unicorns to tell her what they thought. They spoke not. She then turned assertive and said, “Sentry, who might be this strange man so close out there?”
Sentry said, “My mistress, I think it best that Sentinel tell you the good news.”
She then turned to Sentinel and gave him the assertive look, but Sentinel could only say, “I have to let Sentry tell you whom God brought out there for you, O Mistress.”
“Snow-Eagle,” said the perturbed but amused Unicorn Keeper. “What man is it out there has got your tongue all tied up so as to not tell your keeper his identity?”
“We ten unicorns had a conclave just a moment before,” said Snow-Eagle, “and we thought it most tactful to all be here at once when I tell you, Mistress.”
“And when might that be?” asked Tiffany Shires, beguiled and keenly expectant now.
Just then the other seven unicorns also came in unto this Commons. All ten unicorns of the Unicorn Keeper were here now, and they felt that the circumstances were right now to tell their keeper
about this most mysterious guy out there just outside their yard.
In jest, Tiffany Shires teased them in this interlude and said, “You tricky unicorns, you know something that you’re not telling me, and you are taking so long about it that a man could walk from the outer gate to this very Homestead in this long while!” And she laughed in mirth and in anticipation
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of something very good soon to come with this fellow and with God.
And Snow-Eagle said, “Good Mistress, this man knows Scripture.”
Just then a knocking came upon the drawbridge door.
Tiffany Shires said in disbelief, “You mean the great Prophet of the End Times?”
One of the unicorns spoke and said, “I think that maybe we should open the door for him.”
Miss Shires said, “He? Here? Right now?”
Another knocking came upon the drawbridge door.
Another of the unicorns said, “I do believe that he knocks with his Sword of the Spirit.”
“Don’t let that man get away!” she said all nervous as a little schoolgirl.
Another of the unicorns said, “That man will not quit in his work for God.”
A third knocking came upon the drawbridge door. Lo, a voice called into where they stood on the other side of that door, “Unicorn Keeper, Snow-Eagle, is anyone home?”
“We are home, O Flanders!” called out Tiffany. “We are all home!”
“May I come in, Miss Shires?” he called forth.
Another of the unicorns said, “How our mistress suddenly gets when a cute guy comes knocking.”
Another of the unicorns asked, “Has there ever been another time when a cute guy has come over?”
“No, not once,” replied that prior unicorn.
“Surely none as great at the Prophet!” said another unicorn.
“Mistress, should we not keep the prophet waiting any longer?” asked Snow-Eagle.
And the Unicorn Keeper recomposed herself, and she said, “Sentry, Sentinel, open up the gate to the castle.” And the two watchmen of the HomeStead worked the chains and let down the door of the Commons.
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There stood the illustrious Flanders Nickels, with saddlebags along his left shoulder and with a
great sword in its scabbard along his right hip. He was—both as she had thought him to be before and as she now saw him in person—a most odd-looking fellow. Truly Flanders had the overbite of a beaver and the goatee of a billy goat. And he was far from a Hercules, himself being thin and short. But his eyes had the wisdom of God, and his countenance stared down griffins and dragons, and his tongue could speak the Bible verses that she alone could read. And—yes–he was a most desirable and handsome prince of a man. And the renowned Unicorn Keeper deferred before the Prophet of the End Times, waiting for him to speak first.
And he spoke, saying, “Lady Shires, I am at your service.”
And she replied in most venerable address, “Sir Nickels, I am duly honored.”
“I have come from afar, Miss Tiffany, to seek your hand in courtship,” he said.
“I give you my hand, Gentleman Flanders,” she said. She proffered her right hand, and he took it in his left hand, and he held it gently and affectionately.
“Today I have lost a best friend and have found a girlfriend,” he did say.
The Unicorn Keeper saw blood coming out of his right wrist. “Flanders, you’re wounded!” she cried out.
“I believe that I need a place of rest and recuperation, Tiffany,” he did say.
“You can surely stay at the HomeStead, Flanders,” she said. “I shall take care of you, and you will get well.”
“Great is your hospitality and kindness, Tiffany,” he said.
“I see not great Century with you,” said Miss Shires. “Is she the best friend that you have lost today?”
“She is, Tiffany,” he said.
“I sorrow over her with you,” said Tiffany.
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“Your love is like unto Christ’s love, O Tiffany Shires,” said Flanders.
“I shall help you up the stairs to my living room, Flanders,” she said. “You can lie down on my sofa and get much needed rest.”
“Isn’t that sofa where I see you on TV reading your letters to the world, Tiffany?” he asked.
“Surely so, Flanders!” she said.
“It is a most godly and wonderful living room,” he said.
“I shall make your wrist as good as new again,” she said.
He asked, “This second story, does it also contain the room in which you go to sleep every night?”
She said, “Yes. My bedroom is all the way at the end of the castle on this second floor.”
And he said most godly, “The second story is no place for a man not your husband.”
“The righteousness of Christ truly indwells you, Flanders,” she said, surprised by his words, but impressed by his stand for God.
“I shall remain down here with the unicorns and get better, if you would so wish,” he said.
“It is written, ‘Abstain from all appearance of evil.’ I Thessalonians 5:22,” she quoted Scripture.
“Would you deign to come down from the upstairs from time to time to look in on me?” he asked.
“I shall stay down here on the first floor day and night in order to be with you, Flanders,” she promised.
“You’re beautiful, Tiffy,” he said, his heart swept up in the moment.
“No more handsome man than you has ever said anything so handsome as you have just told me right now, Flanders,” said Tiffany Shires.
“Not every soldier finds out in life what falling in love is like, O Tiffany,” he confessed.
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“No other woman than myself has ever found herself falling in love with a handsome prophet before, Flanders,” said Tiffany.
Young man and young woman looked into each other’s eyes for a long dreamy moment.
Then Flanders Nickels turned to Tiffy’s pet unicorns, all ten silent in honor of this their mistress’s most ardent while. “My, what noble and gallant unicorns you have, O Tiffany,” said Flanders.
“These ten are my pride and joy, O Flanders,” she said.
“I read all about them over these seven years in progress of these End Times,” said the Prophet of the End Times. “No finer unicorns than these serve our Good Lord in all the world.”
“May I introduce them to you, Flanders?” she asked.
“It is like I already know them,” he said in great admiration as he beheld them here for real right in front of him.
“The great End Times Prophet knows this lonely woman’s beloved unicorns?” she asked.
“I do,” he said. “Would you allow an admirer from afar to bless your ten unicorns here where we all stand, Tiffany?”
“I would be honored, Flanders. And they would be honored,” said the Unicorn Keeper.
And this great born-again believer man began to bless her ten unicorns with great individual and relevant and familiar salutations without err: Turning to Snow-Eagle, he said, “Thou art Snow-Eagle, fast as the wind and loyal as a brother. Thou knowest the secrets of God, and in thee are all unicorns blessed. Indeed thou art he that completes his keeper in life with God.” He then turned to Sentry and said, “Thou art Sentry, friend of woman and beast, ever-watchful, ever-vigilant, always warning, fighting onward for God.” He then turned to Sentinel and said, “Thou art Sentinel, watchful as a captain of the guard, equal in rank to Sentry, fearless in battle and fearsome in war, fighting onward in
God.” He then turned to Sundry Propre and said to him, “Thou art Sundry Propre, a brother to one
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among ten. Thy hooves have trodden many roads, and thy eyes have seen many forests and fields. And thou lovest the fireplaces of these Commons.” Turning next to Sundry Common, he said, “Thou art Sundry Common and art that brother among ten. Thou hast contended against evil and hast withstood in the evil day. Ye who are brothers are one in war and in peace.” Turning next to Sire, he said, “Thou art Sire, sporting, game-some, loving sprees, first at play and last at rest. Thou hast triumphed in Skill and Chance, and with thy horn thou hast caught many rings.” Turning next to Salvo, he said, “Thou art Salvo, heralded by the eagles of the air. Thou hast read books and hast studied documents. And learning is thy pastime.” Turning next to Steed, he said, “Thou art Steed, fleet of foot and glorious in gallop. The wind bloweth upon thy white mane in thy sprints through the valleys and through the mountains.” Turning next to Seven Seas, he said, “Thou art Seven Seas, a traveler, a wanderer, a pilgrim among unicorns. Thou wilt step out into the waters of seven oceans and wilt traverse the lands of seven continents.” And turning next to Southwind, he said, “Thou art Southwind, who hast come from the outermost edges of the world. In Wisconsin thou hast found thy home and hast found friendship and fellowship and family.”
Having blessed the Unicorn Keepers unicorns thus most genuinely and sincerely, he then raised his maimed right arm and gasped in pain and struggled to stay standing.
The Unicorn Keeper said, “I think it’s time for you to get to a bed, Flanders.”
Even now, the prophet could still laugh with himself, and he said, “It is time I lie down now, I think.”
And the Unicorn Keeper made a few trips up and down her stairs, and she made for her new boyfriend a kind of bed down here made from her sofa cushions, complete with a sheet and blankets from her spare closet, and with an extra pillow she had lying around from her bedroom. “Thank you,
Tiffany,” he said. She helped him get down and settled in his new bed here in the Commons with the unicorns. And he said again, “Thank you, Tiffany.” And he soon fell asleep.
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CHAPTER II
Tiffany and her new boyfriend Flanders were standing upon the grassy bank of a flowing creek in a hot Wisconsin September day. He was fully recuperated now from his battle against the dragon. Tiffany had taken good care of him. And she could see his eyes now looking her up and down again in her favorite one-piece swimsuit. “Do you like what you see, boyfriend?” she asked in flirt.
“Whoa, O girlfriend!” he said. “Maillot girl indeed!”
“So tell me, Flanders: What do you like looking at better—my one-piece swimsuit or my lovely face?” asked Tiffany.
“Your lovely face?” he answered in an interrogative.
“Oh!” she said in flirt.
“Wrong answer?” he asked. She nodded. “Your one-piece swimsuit then?” he ventured his second answer in an interrogative.
She nodded and said, “Right answer this time, Flanders.”
“Two out of three isn’t bad, girlfriend,” he said in silly nonsense.
“You mean two out of two, Flanders,” she teased right back. “There were only two answers to
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that question, and you went and said them both.”
She then ran her fingers down her shoulder strap. He saw that. He felt like doing that. He dared not. He must wait. Maybe later. What would Jesus think?
Then the maillot gal asked him, “So, what do you like best about my one-piece swimsuit—the stars down here below or the stripes up here above?”
“And everything between!” he exclaimed.
“My cute boyfriend with all the right answers,” she bragged on him.
“My one-piece swimsuit goddess built like an outhouse,” he bragged on her.
In reprisal she slugged him in his upper arm, then grabbed her fist in her other hand and said, “Ow.”
“It is not nice to hit people, Tiffy,” he teased her. His upper arm did not hurt from the woman’s punch. And her fist was now okay.
Then Tiffany asked, “Flanders, did you ever have dreams in your heart back in your lonely life about what life would be like for you if you did have a girlfriend like myself?”
“Yes, I did, Tiffany,” he said.
“Was it like a dream date?” she asked.
“It would belong to a romance scene in a hackneyed plot of a grade B TV movie,” he did confess.
“Is it that bad?” she asked. “Is it that trite?”
“It could be called ‘a seashore scene,’” he did say.
“Tell me about it, Flanders,” she said.
And he told her his romance fantasy: “I would be with a pretty one-piece swimsuit girl on a seashore as we walk on the sand barefoot. The waves would be coming in. The seagulls would be flying about. The sun would be setting. And my one-piece swimsuit woman would curve most
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delightfully along the sides of her torso. I go and put my arm around her supple waist. And my fingers feel the material of her one-piece swimsuit along that curvaceous side, and I feel the curve of her side in that one-piece swimsuit in my hand. And thus we walk side-by-side along the beach.” In venture, Flanders looked upon Tiffany’s two sides. She did curve quite nicely in both in her maillot.
Then the woman said, “I would like that, Flanders. I would like that a lot.” And the man new with a woman hesitated. The woman encouraged him, saying, “I won’t bite because I’m a girl, Flanders. And I do not have girl germs, you know.” He laughed. Then he proffered his right arm, and she slipped her slinky maillot self into it quite eagerly, and they began to walk thus side-by-side along the creek bank, her arm also around his waist. And the woman said, “Women in one-piece swimsuits love to be in the arms of a cute guy, Flanders. It is good for me, too.”
He said, “Tiffy, this is the most exciting thing I did in my thirty years.”
“I am an exiting woman,” she said in coquetry.
“I am doing brave new things with you this day,” he said ardently.
“So am I, Flanders,” said Miss Shires, her woman’s heart swept up in this magic of romance.
“Tiffany, there is a great mystery in my lonesome life that has always made me to wonder in
great mystique,” he said. “It has tantalized me and teased me and tempted me. Do you want to hear what it is?”
“I’m your new girlfriend-in-the-Lord,” said Tiffany. “Do tell me all.”
“It is women’s hair,” he said. “I often wonder what a girl’s hair feels like. What does pretty long straight brown hair feel like if I reached out and touched it? What is it like to have a woman’s bangs in my fingers?”
“You never touched a girl’s hair before, Flanders?” she asked. He shook his head, “No.” She said, “My, you have stayed away from dates. I should talk, though. I would kind of like to be that first girl whose head you stroke.” In boldness he reached out his hand, then stopped it short of her pretty
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head. She exhorted him, asking him, “O Prophet of the End Times, are you better at conquering griffins and dragons than you are at conquering women?” He laughed with himself again. And he reached his hand over to her pretty head. And he gently stroked her real and female straight brown tresses.
“Oooo, Tiffy, I never went and did anything quite like this before!” he said in utter fascination.
“Neither did I,” said Miss Shires.
He then ran his hand across her ravishing bangs of brown. And he said, “There, now I know all about what makes a girl a girl!”
“People out there say that the Unicorn Keeper looks like an Eskimo,” she said.
“I can see that in you, Tiffy,” he said.
“I heard that Eskimos do something romantic that non-Eskimos never think about in a date,” she said.
“I think that I know what you mean,” he said.
“Boyfriend and girlfriend go and touch noses,” she said. “Like a kiss, only not so amorous.”
“Like my nose touching your nose and your nose touching my nose,” said Flanders.
“Would that be a fun thing for you to do with me on this date, Flanders?” she asked.
“Anything that we do together in romance would be fun to do with you on this date, Tiffany,” he said. “And for our noses to touch would be most neat for me. You have a beautiful nose, you need to know.”
“My, the great prophet finds even my own nose irresistible!” said Miss Shires.
And he leaned his face toward her face, and he touched her nose with his nose, and she touched his nose with her nose. Then they drew apart their noses.
“I saw you close your eyes, Tiffany,” he said.
“I did do that, didn’t I?” she confessed. “Did you?”
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“I did the same thing, Tiffany,” he said.
“Like when a man and a woman kiss,” she said.
“That’s the kind of thing where the girl raises her leg back and up—in the middle of a kiss with both man and woman standing up,” said Flanders.
“I do believe that I did that just now when our noses touched, Flanders,” she said.
“Ooo, romantic, Tiffany,” he said.
Then she stared out into the countryside creek here in God’s Country. He likewise did thus, himself at her side. “Flanders, I do believe that it is time for me to get my one-piece swimsuit wet for a guy,” she said.
“What does a wet one-piece swimsuit feel on for a girl?” he asked.
“It feels good when it is dry, but it feels better when it is wet, Flanders,” said Tiffany Shires.
“You would know, Tiffy, being a woman,” he said.
“You have one last chance to feel this maillot while it is yet dry,” said Miss Shires. “After I jump into my creek, my maillot will be wet for the rest of our date.”
More at ease with his swimsuit girlfriend, Flanders did not hesitate to reach out and run his hand across her woman’s belly covered by women’s spandex. “I like that,” he said.
Then she jumped in bottom-first into the little creek, sat down in it, and lifted her head above the surface of the flowing waters where she sat. She said, “Would you say now that my one-piece swimsuit is now all wet, Flanders?”
“Yes,” he said. “It is now all wet everywhere. Stand up, girl, and let me see you dripping.”
She stood up, and water dripped down from her maillot and upon the top of the creek that reached halfway up her thighs. “How do I look now, Flanders?” she asked.
“You look sexy, woman,” he said.
“I feel sexy,” she said. And she climbed up out of the creek and rejoined Flanders on the bank.
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“Now touch my wet belly, O Flanders,” she said.
And he reached out his hand to the wet spandex covering her slim and slender belly, and he passed it downward and across her stomach. And he said, “I like that even better, Tiffany. I think that I am beginning to know lots about women’s swimsuits now.”
“You’ll never know so much about women’s swimsuits as a woman knows about women’s swimsuits,” said Miss Shires.
“Makes me want to become a woman,” he teased her.
“Be content with a woman for a girlfriend, Flanders,” she said in tease back.
“Ah, my precious girlfriend-in-Christ,” he said. “You have the face of Aphrodite and the form of Venus!”
“The goddesses of love,” she said, knowing mythology. “And you have the charisma of Zeus of
Greece and of Jupiter of Rome.”
“The kings of the gods of Greek and Roman mythology,” he said, also versed in the ancient myths.
“Such prose we speak here where we are alone together,” she said.
“People in love like to speak poems to each other,” he said.
“To tell all about how they feel,” she said.
“And all about how they feel for each other,” he said.
Tiffany Shires spoke eloquence now in this magical day, “With you, Flanders, I have found the romance that could never come, and, lo, it is here for me now. With you, Flanders, I have found the love that has been so elusive, and, behold, it has found me in you. With you, Flanders, I have found the boyfriend that even God could not find for me; and, amen, God has given me you.”
Caught up in this magic of romance himself, Flanders also waxed eloquent, reciting the Bible verses Proverbs 5:18-19 to his love of his life: “Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife
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of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.” He gave in to temptation now and gazed upon the two cups of her one-piece swimsuit, herself in them. She did not see this.
“A wife?” she asked in great warmth.
“Who knows where God will lead us in our times together down the road,” he said in reflections.
“Maybe!” she said. “I could become Mrs. Tiffany Kimberley Nickels.”
“Do you love me, Tiffy?” he asked.
“Did Abigail love David when he asked her to marry him, Flanders?” she asked him. Scripture did not say. But Scripture did say what Abigail said to David when he proposed to her, and Tiffany now said those same words from I Samuel 25:41 to Flanders now to his unofficial proposal: “Behold, let thine handmaid be a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord.”
“Abigail was a good woman of God; you, Tiffany, are a great woman of God,” he said. “And I do love you very much.”
“And I know that I love you, too, dear Flanders,” said Tiffany.
“We are no longer lone and without each other, Tiffy,” he said.
“I used to sing a sad, sad song when I had no boyfriend like you, Flanders,” said Miss Shires.
“It was to the tune of the great carol, ‘In the Bleak Midwinter.’ But my lyrics were not that carol’s lyrics. It was the song of my broken heart of no boyfriends ever. And I sang it, and I cried.”
“Do not sing such a song again, Tiffy,” he said. “I do not want you to cry.”
“I will sing it one last time, in front of you, Flanders. But this time I will not cry. I have you, and I shall never weep again,” she said.
“Do sing your sad carol to me, Tiffany, and I shall feel empathy in your song as you sing,” said Flanders, whose own life was just like hers in a dateless lifestyle of thirty years.
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And Tiffany Kimberley Shires sang to this man with whom she had fallen in love her old song of her broken heart to the melody of the great carol:
“If I had a boyfriend,
I would be so happy.
I have been so lonesome,
All my lonely life.”
The song ended, sung by a beautiful girl with a beautiful voice, and the man was duly moved. Flanders found himself passing his hand across his eye.
“Flanders, you’re crying,” said Tiffany.
In confession, he said, “I know how you felt.”
She gave him a quick hug of affection for his sincere tear. He felt her two breasts pressed against his chest. Man and woman drew apart. But he did not look away from her maillot cups.
“Flanders, what are you looking at?” she asked, ingenuously.
He next turned upward a few inches and took in the spell of her one-piece swimsuit’s two shoulder straps. He did not answer her question.
“Flanders, what are you thinking about?” she asked.
He did not answer this question with words. Instead, he went ahead and did what he wanted to do very much all of a sudden. And with his right hand, he reached for her left shoulder strap, took it along its top in his five fingers, and ran his five fingers of his hand all the way down the shoulder strap to the very left cup. And then with his left hand, he reached for her right shoulder strap, took it along its tip in his five fingers, and ran his five fingers of his hand all the way down the shoulder strap to the very right cup. Then he let go of the seductive maillot girl.
And he said seven succinct words,”I thank you, O one-piece swimsuit goddess.”
The Unicorn Keeper liked what he just did. So did he. But God was not pleased.
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CHAPTER III
Hand-in-hand Tiffany and Flanders began to walk back, when a unicorn appeared in the clearing. He spoke and said, “I saw everything, Mistress.”
“You saw nothing, Snow-Eagle,” denied Miss Shires.
“Au contraire, my mistress. I saw you falling in love,” said Snow-Eagle.
“Yes! O Snow-Eagle!” confessed the Unicorn Keeper. “Precious love has found me at last! Now I shall be happy.”
“Were you unhappy before?” asked her unicorn confidant.
“I was happy in Christ,” Tiffany confessed. “But now I am happy with Christ and with Flanders.”
“I rejoice with you, my mistress,” said the white he-unicorn. Then he turned to Flanders, and he said, “And I do rejoice also with you, O Flanders.”
“I am honored, mighty Snow-Eagle,” said the End Times Prophet. Flanders proffered his right hand. In greetings, the unicorn proffered his unicorn horn. And hand and horn touched in the friendship of brethren-in-Christ.
“Snow-Eagle, can you carry two as easily as you carry one?” asked Tiffany Shires.
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“That I can do,” said the great white unicorn.
And man and woman mounted Snow-Eagle. The woman deferred to the man and gave him the front as she took the back. “Run like the wind, O Snow-Eagle!” she sang out. “Run like the wind!”
And the great he-unicorn began to gallop in a fleet sprint back toward the HomeStead. The Unicorn Keeper put her arms around her boyfriend’s waist as they rode, and she rested her head against him,
and she daydreamed about Heaven with him and Jesus. Snow-Eagle ran quickly and long and hard.
And Tiffany said to God in a whisper, “I shall never be unhappy again.”
Just then a shadow passed across the sun, casting a cool shade down upon them as they rode.
And it did not pass by. Tiffany was nervous. Flanders looked upward with anxiety. Tiffany did the same. Then so, too, did Snow-Eagle. “Halt, Snow-Eagle,” said Tiffany. The unicorn halted.
“Flanders, Snow-Eagle, what’s up there?” asked Tiffany. It was not a cloud.
Flanders said, “It is the Devouring Griffin, I believe.”
“Him?” she asked in a crashing of dismay upon her bliss.
“Him—again!” said Snow-Eagle in ire.
“I see him now,” said the Unicorn Keeper.
And the great and formidable Devouring Griffin descended toward them and mocked them by singing a lyric of a hymn, “Frail children of dust, and feeble as frail,…!” And then he swooped right by overhead and purposefully took away their breath by the great wind from his great wings. And he laughed at them and at God. Flanders shook his fist up at him. Tiffany shuddered and prayed in thoughts. Snow-Eagle lifted his fore hooves off of the ground and stamped them upon the earth. And the griffin of griffins spoke again from up in the air, “Thou mortals, who must return to dust, listen ye to me and hear ye my words. Take good heed unto the words of my tongue and attend to their counsel.”
Irritated and facing danger, Flanders asked, “What is it that you have to say to us, griffin?”
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The two riders dismounted now. The Devouring Griffin, just above their heads, fixed his cold eagle eyes upon the man of war for God. He spoke and said, “Where might be now thy Sword of the Spirit, O mighty Prophet of the End Times?” And the griffin answered his own question, saying, “Is it not in the Commons, standing in the corner next to the steps? Ha ha ha, O great soldier!”
The full ramifications of this select knowledge uttered by the griffin hit home to the Unicorn Keeper. “My Bible!” she cried out in angst.
“Yes! The Bible, O wise Unicorn Keeper. Where is thy Holy Bible now?” taunted the Devouring Griffin. “Was it not left open to the book of Jonah on thy dining room table next to thy empty cocoa mug?”
“My Bible from God!” cried out Tiffany. She fell upon her knees in a faint and prayed, “O my God, I have sinned grievously and am no more worthy to be called Your daughter!” The Unicorn Keeper had fallen into complacency, had gotten careless with her watch care over this last Book of its kind, and had left it lying around to be taken away by a demon. All was lost to the griffin in Tiffany’s most glorious ministry as Unicorn Keeper.
Yet her boyfriend remained standing, sure and strong, even skeptical of the words that were just
uttered. And he went on to say to this Devouring Griffin, “I do not believe that you have seized the Holy Bible. If you had done this, you would not be here before us and telling us that you seized it. Tell me that I am wrong, O Devouring Griffin.”
All of a sudden, the griffin gave out a piercing, raucous screech that hurt their ears, and he said,
“Curses, O Unicorn Keeper, unto thy unicorns! They have grabbed that Book before I could. And they have hidden it away in a place I know not. And I have not been able thus to devour it. Thy God doth use thy unicorns most effectively, O woman of God.”
The Unicorn Keeper said in most fervent prayer, “Thank You, God!” And strength came back to her body, and she stood back up, confident in the Lord once again. In silent prayers now, she
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thought, Unicorns in the Upper Den? God did work in His most mysterious ways. Praise God and praise her other nine unicorns who were there. The Bible was back safe in the third floor room.
The Prophet of the End Times now attacked the griffin with one of his prophecies, “O Devouring Griffin, has not my Jesus said, ‘The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly?’ John 10:10.”
The evil griffin blasphemed in pain of Scripture, and his griffin body shook in a shudder, and he
was forced to light upon the ground, thus struck by the Word of God. He now stood wounded before them not twenty feet away. But the evil griffin was a fearless griffin of war and battle. And he continued his war of words, “Man of Jesus, I care not for thee. I can easily slay you where you stand. I shall proceed to do so at a convenient season.”
“Then why are you here?” asked Tiffany in challenge, sure and steadfast in the Lord.
And the Devouring Griffin began a most nefarious attack of words from the Devil himself.
He began thus to man and woman, “Tiffany, what is truth?”
Tiffany answered discreetly and said, “Jesus is truth. The King James Bible is truth. The Gospel message is truth.”
“But love is not truth, O woman,” said the griffin.
“True love is truth,” answered the woman in confirmation of her and Flanders’s blossoming romance.
“True love is not true, madam,” denied the Devouring Griffin.
“I love Flanders with all of my heart, griffin,” defended Tiffany her new life of companionship.
“Oh, but lady, he loveth not ye,” said the griffin in a smooth voice that caused doubt in the woman.
And Tiffany unwisely bade him to speak further, telling him, “Tell me more, O lying griffin.”
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And the Devouring Griffin told of the way of men with women among the unsaved: “O lady, all young men have only one thing in their minds. They call it ‘love.’ God calleth it ‘lust.’ Thy Flanders doth not yet know what God calleth ‘love.’ This man tricketh and deceiveth thee, and he fooleth himself. He charmeth thee with words, and with his words he doth make promises. I do know the hearts of young men smitten by pretty women—I tempt them. God knoweth the thoughts of men—that they are vanity. Take heed with this man, woman. With thee, in the end, it is only one thing that he truly doth desire from thee. It is thee and thine. It is what makes thee a girl. And thou hast it. He doth desire it. He will not rest until thou givest it to him. Then thou must give it to him over and over again. And thou shalt play the harlot.”
“But, Devouring Griffin,” said Tiffany, “that does not happen to two people whom Jesus has brought together.”
“It doth not, simple lass?” scoffed the devil’s griffin.
“God does not make mistakes!” said Miss Shires.
“Look how your gentleman just this day reached out sneakily and touched both of your breasts with both of his hands there at the creek, silly girl,” taunted the Devouring Griffin.
“It was my shoulder straps he was feeling,” said Miss Shires. And suddenly she felt embarrassed and convicted of sins.
Relentless, the Devouring Griffin then turned to Flanders, and he said, “O brave prophet, the truth is that this girl no more loveth thee than thou lovest her.”
“You lie to me as you lied to Tiffany,” snapped Flanders Nickels, rattled and put on the defensive.
But the sly and crafty griffin went on to tell the way of women with men among the lost: “Thy Lord calleth the female gender ‘the weaker vessels.’ For lonely women out there, they wish for a man to come into their life—some knight in shining armor to sweep them off their feet or some prince of a
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guy to love and to cherish for ever as husband. Naive young women believe that there is a Mr. Right, a
man who is a perfect man for them out there. Lo, this wonderful man cometh into her life, and he stealeth her hasty woman’s heart. She is very happy with this brand new man friend. Then some little things that this fellow doth do beginneth to annoy her. He starts to fail to measure up to her expectations. And he faileth to provide her for her needs and to satisfy her for her wants. Behold, this man is not perfect. In fact, he is not good enough for the woman. She beginneth then to nag the man. The man and the woman start to fight. And they do drift apart. Then the woman beginneth to gossip to
her women friends about this man, saying, ‘That’s a man for you.’ And not long later, this fellow becometh the ‘hated ex.’ Thy Tiffany shall thus betray thee likewise, O Flanders. The proverb doth go: ‘Familiarity breeds contempt.’ This is the vanity that is a woman, Flanders. And this is the vanity that is a beautiful woman. Thy Tiffany is no different. Just wait and see.”
“My Tiffany is not like that,” said Flanders, angry and unsure.
“Not now. That I can see, Flanders,” said the Devouring Griffin. “But later? Who knoweth?”
Then the clever and subtle griffin of griffins next turned to Snow-Eagle, for an attack of words upon this unicorn: “And here with us I see brave and valorous Snow-Eagle, unicorn of unicorns.
What can I say? What can I ask? What is an animal?”
Sagacious Snow-Eagle spoke up and effectively cut short the griffin’s false charges, saying to him, “O Devouring Griffin, you do not fool me. I will not let you spread the Devil’s lies in heap upon myself as you have my mistress and my new friend. Your only desire is to get that last Holy Bible, to rend it with your wicked beak and with your wicked talons and with your wicked claws. The Devouring Griffin’s principal agenda is to devour my mistress’s Bible, and if you seek to estrange my mistress from Flanders with your diatribes upon the sexes, it is only to make easier for you to get the Bible you could not get today. My mistress will never tell you where she hides it. My brother Flanders will never tell you where she hides it. And I will never tell you where she hides it. And if I need to, I
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will lay down my life to keep the secret of where the Holy Bible is hidden forever from you. As they say in America, ‘Put that in your pipe and smoke it,’ O Devouring Griffin!”
Incensed and vengeful, the Devouring Griffin threatened icily, “I can break off thy horn, animal!” And a chilly breeze suddenly came in upon them.
“Go for it, devil!” said Snow-Eagle in reprisal.
With the wrath of Hell, the Devouring Griffin charged, lifted up off the ground, and crashed hard into valorous Snow-Eagle standing his ground. Indeed the griffin to the unicorn was as a bear to a
coyote. And Snow-Eagle was knocked hard to the ground upon his side. Truly a proud spirit, the great griffin stood there, looking down upon Snow-Eagle, and deriding him with boos! But Snow-Eagle, angry, got back up to his hooves, and he thrust his deadly unicorn horn point-blank into the griffin’s left eagle wing. Indeed the unicorn quite tore up that great griffin wing, and a flurry of feathers began to fall to the ground at the griffin’s lion feet. Utter mortification shown upon the griffin’s eagle face at
this destruction of his great hybrid beauty of griffin kind. But he recomposed his preeminence in this confrontation, and he said most dangerously, less in threat and more in promise, “Snow-Eagle, thou wilt rue this day that you have wounded me so sorely!” Then the griffin fled battle to fight again another day. And the three of God watched the horizon until they could see him no more.
Then the three rejoiced in God for yet another victory over evil, and the two Christians praised and thanked the gallant Snow-Eagle for sending the griffin fleeing as he did. Then they did pause in their joys. And man and woman began to think about what that griffin had said to them about each other.
“You do love me for real, don’t you, Tiffany?” he asked.
“Yes, Flanders,” she said. “I think I do. Do you love me with true love, Flanders?”
“I said I did,” he said. “I thought I did love you.”
“Oh, Flanders,” cried out Miss Shires. “What are we to do right now?”
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“Tiffany, we must pray together now,” he said. “You and I must pray now together like never before!” There was urgency in his voice. And man and woman got down on their knees in the grass, their praying heads facing each other, Snow-Eagle off to the side as a silent partner.
And Flanders Nickels began this spontaneous prayer meeting: “Dear Father, Who art in Heaven: Help us to learn from what has just happened. We two were not visited by one of your angels, whose job might have been to warn us and to guide us as boyfriend-and-girlfriend. No, we two were instead attacked by a demon griffin who wanted to divide us with doubts. The Devil had spoken unto us today through the mouth of the Devouring Griffin. The Devil is called ‘a liar and the father of it’ in
John 8:44. That malicious griffin said to me and Tiffany that I do not really love her, and that she will learn to hate me. If I have given into temptation and did sin in our romance this day at the creek, I apologize for that, and I ask Your forgiveness for that, and I do repent of that, O Lord God. And if there be any roots of lust in my heart for this woman, I hereby give it up and leave it all in Your hands. In Jesus’s name I pray. Amen.”
And Tiffany Shires finished this impromptu prayer meeting in the countryside: “Dear Heavenly Father Above: The troubling words of the Devouring Griffin are bad words. Some words are true; some words are false; some words are in-between. The griffin devil, like the Devil himself, mixes truth with error when he comes to deceive and to tempt. But my personal Saviour Jesus Christ is the way and the truth and the life. Jesus said that about Himself in John 14:6. I pray that I rebel not against Flanders in time to come. I pray to not become that brawling and contentious wife in the book of Proverbs. I promise to respect and obey this man that you have brought into my life. I will love him in the Lord, whether he be boyfriend or fiance or groom or husband. For the woman was made for the man; and not the man for the woman. And in my romance with this man, only You will be more important to me than he. In Your Son’s name I pray. Amen.”
This prayer meeting ended, the born-again believers looked back up and stood back up and said
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no words to each other.
In this odd awkward moment, Snow-Eagle asked, “Should I bring us back to the castle?”
“Yes, Snow-Eagle,” said the Unicorn Keeper. “Would you bring me and Flanders back to the castle?”
“Once we get there, Mistress, we can all thank all of us other unicorns for how they went and hid the Bible back in the Upper Den from our adversary this day,” said Snow-Eagle.
“We have to do that,” said the Unicorn Keeper. “I must do that.”
After this was a more awkward silence yet. Even prudent Snow-Eagle did not speak now.
Flanders Nickels spoke up now and asked, “Tiffany, do you still doubt?”
And Tiffany Shires replied, “Flanders, Satan is the author of confusion.”
Then boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-the-Lord mounted the he-unicorn, and they rode off back toward the HomeStead. None of the three travelers said a word the whole trip back. A most disturbing wall of constraint had come between Tiffany and Flanders from the words of the Devouring Griffin.
And even their prayer meeting had not taken away their first doubts about each other and about themselves in this brave new romance. And, as she rode Snow-Eagle, Flanders Nickels riding in front, Tiffany Shires wept lightly, a tear falling to the ground behind the back hooves of Snow-Eagle as he ran.
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CHAPTER IV
Tiffany, Flanders, Snow-Eagle, Sentry, and Sentinel were gathered together around a reading table by a fireplace in the library of the Homestead. It was late at night this day, and the seven other unicorns were fast asleep around them. Upon the table was a rare manuscript of several thousand years of age in an ancient language no one could read.
Tiffany said, “Flanders, this roll was written before the Great Flood.”
“What’s it say on the top of the paper here?” he asked, looking at the beginning of this original scroll.
“I do not know,” she said. “No unicorn knows for sure, either.”
“It looks like runes or something,” said Flanders.
“Only God knows for sure,” said Snow-Eagle.
“It is the oldest ‘book’ in our mistress’s library down here, Flanders,” said Sentry.
“Legend says that Noah put this scroll on the ark with him,” said Sentinel.
Tiffany said, “Historians and museum curators and archivists who have come here, Flanders…some of them say that this book tells of the origin of unicorns.”
Snow-Eagle also ventured bold assertions not unwise, “And some of them say that this book
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was written by unicorns.”
“I did not know that unicorns could write,” said Flanders.
“We cannot in these days, Flanders,” confessed Sentinel.
“But we could maybe in those days,” conjectured Sentry.
“People say that the unicorn is the wisest of God’s animal kingdom,” said Flanders Nickels.
Snow-Eagle went on to expound most sagaciously, “The wisdom of unicorns has been passed down through the ages from generation to generation from the beginning of time to this time to the end
of time to come. We ten of our keeper all know much about these past six thousand years since creation about our kind.”
“So,” said the Prophet of the End Times, “where did the unicorns come from?”
“Guys, do tell my boyfriend where the first two unicorns came from,” said the Unicorn Keeper, already knowing for herself.
Sentry began: “Flanders, there was a Man Who sat on the Lord’s right hand side up in the glories of Heaven before time began. This Man commenced to make a creation, to form a world. Taking one step with His foot, He left Heaven and stood upon Earth. And this Man walked this world of Earth in this beginning. There was light and dark. There was night and day. There was sky and land and sea. There was grass and plants and trees. There was sun and moon and stars. There was life in the sky and life in the water. But this Man was the only moving life upon the land.”
Sentinel spoke now and said, “About this Man, Flanders, it is written, ‘Without father, without mother, without descent, having neither beginning of days, nor end of life; but made like unto the Son of God; abideth a priest continually.’ Hebrews 7:3.”
Snow-Eagle went on to teach, “This Man came upon a seashore, and He stepped out onto the sand. He then looked up, and He said, ‘That I may glorify Thee, O Father, with the glory Thou hast given to me.’ He thereupon took two grains of sand from the beach—like unto the dust of the Earth–
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and He held one in each palm for a moment. Then He approached a grassy hill of lawn in the midst of a field, and he set both grains of sand down upon the green grass side-by-side.”
Sentry went on to say, “It is written, ‘For he spake, and it was done; he commanded, and it stood fast.’ Psalm 33:9.”
Sentinel went on to also recite scripture of this sermon, “And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.’ I Kings 19:11-12.”
Tiffany went on to further edify her boyfriend the great prophet: “This Man then spoke His commandment. The Word of God spoke to these two grains of sand in the grass, ‘Arise ye and breathe life, O you whom I call now “Unicorns.” Run the meadows. Walk the fields. Traverse the prairies.
Glisten in your whiteness as the purity of linen. Make music unto Me with your horn. Go and seek mistresses and masters. Stamp your hooves upon land and sea. And serve Me as only you can as unicorns.’ And behold, suddenly there stood two unicorns—the world’s first two unicorns. The one on the right was a he-unicorn; the one on the left was a she-unicorn.”
Sentinel said, “And right after that, a voice called down from Heaven unto this Man and said, ‘Thou art My beloved only begotten Son. In Thee I am well pleased.’”
“It is written further, Flanders,” said Sentry, “’And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.’ Genesis 1:31.”
Snow-Eagle went on to add, “When this Man beheld these two unicorns standing before Him, He said to the he-unicorn, ‘Thy name shall be called, “Centery.”’ And He said to the she-unicorn, ‘Thy name shall be called, “Centarius,”’”
Tiffany Shires then went on to finish this great lesson to the End Times Prophet, “On this same
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sixth day, this Man went on to create all of the other land animals—the beasts of the Earth and the cattle and the creeping things. And He also made man and woman in His own image on that same sixth day of creation, Flanders.”
Flanders Nickels went on to say, “This Man, this Creator of unicorns, is none other than the Lord Jesus Christ.”
“The very God indeed,” said Tiffany.
“Looking upon the keeper’s unicorns and seeing the glory of God in them, the Prophet of the End Times began to prophesy a Bible verse again, “It is written, ‘One generation shall praise thy works to another, and shall declare thy mighty acts.’ Psalm 145:4.”
“Amen!” said Miss Shires.
The four sharing fellowship looked out upon the seven unicorns who were sleeping. Tiffany said, “Snow-Eagle, why do you suppose that they sleep now? Usually we all stay up till midnight.
It is only ten o’clock right now.”
Indeed this afternoon was a troubling one upon hearing about the Devouring Griffin’s attempt upon her Holy Bible. Snow-Eagle guessed, “Maybe the attack wearied them. The wily griffin almost got the Good Book this time. Never before had it been in such danger before with him, Mistress.”
“But none of them got wounded in battle,” said the Unicorn Keeper. “Usually all of you unicorns stay up late to fellowship with me. It is like they had come upon something even worse than the one bad griffin.”
Sentry and Sentinel, both of whom had been in this castle with the other seven all day, exchanged knowing looks at each other. Snow-Eagle did not know. Tiffany did not know. Flanders did not know. And the Unicorn Keeper asked her two guards if they knew anything.
And Sentry said, “One worse than the bad griffin did come this afternoon, O Mistress. He came after the Devouring Griffin came and left.”
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And Sentinel told her, “It was the bad dragon, Mistress.”
“The Consuming Dragon?” she asked, afraid of the answer.
Sentry said, “The Devouring Griffin did not damage the Homestead itself; the Consuming Dragon did damage the Homestead some.”
Sentinel said, “Why, he attacked the castle!”
“But the Bible—where was it when he came to get it?” asked the Unicorn Keeper.
Sentinel said, “We two—Sentry and I—had already put it away safe and sound in the Upper Den where you do keep it. We did that the moment the griffin had come earlier this day. And when the dragon came along later this day, he could not find it, because we hid it there.”
“The Holy Bible is safe still?” asked the Unicorn Keeper.
“It is still whole and unharmed in the third floor, Mistress,” reassured Sentry.
“Praise you, O guards!” said Tiffany. “I thank you both for your good work.”
Sentry said, “But, even though he could not find it, the Consuming Dragon had come to fight.”
“He’s a bully,” said Snow-Eagle, himself also hearing about this for the first time.
“What did he go on to do?” asked the Unicorn Keeper.
Sentinel said, “He began to assault the raised drawbridge from the outside. We two guardians were inside the castle. The seven other unicorns were outside near him and on the other side of the moat. As you know, Snow-Eagle was with you and Flanders at the time. The great evil dragon was trying to knock down the raised drawbridge to get into the castle to get to the Bible. He was crazy, smashing his body against the big door. And the castle shook. We nine unicorns thought that soon we would be dead unicorns.”
Sentry said, “Mistress, we always had you to lead us in times of battle, but you were away on a date. And sometimes we had Snow-Eagle giving us commands in battle, but he was away, too. Who could have known that evil would have dared to invade our holy Homestead like that?”
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“The Devil is getting more bold,” said Flanders. “He knows that he now has a short time.”
Sentinel went on to say, “Sentry and I knew that in this little war that he and I must take over now as the leaders among us unicorns that moment. We had a quick little conference between the two of us, and we came up with a military strategy that might work. And we began to carry it out at once.
We two guards let fall the big heavy wooden drawbridge right down upon the Consuming Dragon, hoping to render him somewhat on the defensive. Bingo! It hit him down upon the top of his head very hard! And it knocked him down face first into the moat quite stunned. He was surely no more on the offensive for the moment, Mistress.”
Sentry went on to tell what happened after that, “At first we thought that maybe he might drown in the moat. That would have been good for us. But the Consuming Dragon went on to recover rather quickly. As he shook his head to reorientate his senses, Sentinel and I quickly bolted out of the castle and across the drawbridge to be with our comrades out on the ground across the moat. Then the Consuming Dragon spoke, ‘Ye mortal unicorns of the keeper, I am come for the King James Bible—to burn it and to rend it and to stomp it! The Devouring Griffin hath seen it in the dining room. But it is not in the dining room now. Whither hast ye put it? Tell me. And ye shall live. Tell me not. And ye shall die.”
Sentinel said then, “We unicorns knew that the nine of us were outnumbered by the one of the dragon. Sentry and I had another quick meeting. And we came up with another new tactic of warfare
to use against the Consuming Dragon here at the castle. And Sentry gave out our battle commands to the troops.”
Sentry said, “Sentinel and I had decided there that there was none so proud among Satan’s armies as this Consuming Dragon. We all know how Satan can be overcome with the Word of God.
And we all have seen the griffin and the dragon weakened by our keeper quoting Bible verses at them.
And we two guards among the unicorns knew that Satan could be scripturally rebuked with the words,
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‘The Lord rebuke thee!’ And that would be all right with God. Our mistress taught us that in a sermon about Jude verse nine one day. We unicorns are not Bible-learned like our keeper. But we did know the words ‘The Lord rebuke thee.’ And I commanded us unicorns to form a single-file line along the edge of the moat before where the dragon was standing in the water, and to raise our unicorn horns toward Heaven, and to say, ‘The Lord rebuke thee, O Consuming Dragon.’ And we all nine did that to the dragon.”
Sentinel said, “The great dragon actually quaked when we did that. As people might put it, ‘He shook in his boots.’”
Snow-Eagle, upon hearing this, said, “The reprimand, ‘The Lord rebuke thee,’ spoken by the world’s most foremost unicorns of God, would make the gates of Hell even to shake. Well done!”
Sentry said, “It even turned his attention away from why he had come, which was to seek and find and consume the Bible. He shook his head from its cobwebs, and this time he said, ‘I am come to
burn unicorns and to rend unicorns and to stomp unicorns.’”
Sentinel said, “We nine unicorns did it again: we shouted out to the Consuming Dragon in great efficacious unison, ‘The Lord rebuke thee!’ And the dragon of dragons lost his voice and could no longer speak. He turned then to look into the Commons through the big open doorway. And he seemed to remember now the King James Bible that he had so fiercely pursued all these seven years that he ruled the Earth. And he stepped out into this castle, his legs and body and head enervated by that second rebuke. We definitely had to get him out of the HomeStead, O Mistress.”
Tiffany Shires said, “I bet I know what happened next.”
Flanders asked, “Did you nine rebuke the Consuming Dragon in the name of the Lord again?”
“Yes, we did,” said Sentry. “We nine unicorns said for our third time, ‘The Lord rebuke thee, dragon of dragons!’ And this proved too much for him to endure. He had enough. Indeed he had too much. He had to get out. He had to get away. He lost the battle. And he fled us as quickly as his
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beat up dragon body could go. He flew away in the skies, weary and wounded and confused. Our God has given us the victory this day, my mistress.”
“Indeed, Mistress, He has given us two victories in one day,” said Sentinel. “First the victory over the griffin; second, the victory over the dragon.”
“And the Authorized King James Version Bible is still safe, secure, and sure,” said Tiffany Shires.
Flanders Nickels then said, “You did say that the castle suffered some damage. Could you tell us where?”
Sentinel said, “As the Consuming Dragon was fleeing, he swung his tail and hit the outer wall of the second floor and knocked all the bricks down into the moat.”
Sentry said, “It was the dining room that he had struck. And a table and an empty mug of cocoa
fell out of the castle down to into the moat as well.”
“Woe! Right where I had been doing my Bible-reading very early this morning,” said Miss Shires. “And right where I had left it lying around for it to be devoured by a griffin and consumed by a dragon. Again I say, ‘Thank you.’ And this time I say, ‘Bless you.’ God bless all of you unicorns!”
The Prophet of the End Times said, “It is written, ‘Let everything that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord.’ Psalm 150:6.”
“Praise Ye the Lord!” prayed the Unicorn Keeper the God of providence.
“Amen!’ said the three awake unicorns.
“Amen,” said the other seven unicorns, now awake.
“Amen, O unicorns!” said their keeper.
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CHAPTER V
In awe and reverence and adoration and worship Flanders Nickels held the Book in both hands as if he were holding the Christ child. He read the title page as if he were singing a hymn before Jesus Christ upon His throne in Heaven; “The Holy Bible…Authorized King James Version…Containing the Old and New Testaments translated out of the original tongues and with the former translations diligently compared and revised.”
Tiffany and her boyfriend were alone together in the Upper Den. Happy, she now said to him, “O Flanders, behold now the Word of God with your seeing eyes as you read that you so expertly speak with your speaking tongue as you prophesy.”
“God has been truly good to me this day, O Tiffany,” said Flanders Nickels, having found this one thing more beautiful still even than his girlfriend. “This day, Tiffy, shall be the day that I shall remember even Up in Heaven.”
“Indeed a memory that you will take with you into the Millennial Reign,” the Unicorn Keeper sang out in joy for him.
Flanders sat down upon a braided elliptic rug, the Holy Bible upon his lap, and he turned the page to the table of contents. And he began to read this table of contents and make wise commentary
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upon it as a Bible scholar: “The Old Testament,” he spoke in worship. “’Genesis and Exodus and Leviticus and Numbers and Deuteronomy:’ the Pentateuch, the five books of the law, written by Moses. ‘Joshua and Judges and Ruth and I Samuel and II Samuel and I Kings and II Kings and I Chronicles and II Chronicles and Ezra and Nehemiah and Esther:’ the books of the history of Israel, the Jewish nation of God. ‘Job and Psalms and Proverbs and Ecclesiastes and the Song of Solomon:’ the books of poetry in the Scriptures. ‘Isaiah and Jeremiah and Lamentations and Ezekiel and Daniel:’ the books of the major prophets of God. ‘Hosea and Joel and Amos and Obadiah and Jonah and Micah and Nahum and Habakkuk and Zephaniah and Haggai and Zechariah and Malachi:’ the books of the minor prophets of God. All in all the thirty-nine books that comprise the canon of the Old Testament, every word breathed into the written Word by the Holy Spirit.” He then went on to continue, “The New Testament (of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ):” And he read and said, “’Matthew and Mark and Luke and John:’ the books of the gospels of Christ Jesus the Messiah. ‘Acts:’ the book of the history of the first-century church. ‘Romans and I Corinthians and II Corinthians and Galatians and Ephesians and Philippians and Colossians and I Thessalonians and II Thessalonians and I Timothy and II Timothy and Titus and Philemon:’ the books of the Pauline epistles. ‘Hebrews and James and I Peter and II Peter and I John and II John and III John and Jude:’ the books of the general epistles. And ‘Revelation:’ the book of the prophecy of these End Times upon us now and of that which shall come after. In total, twenty-seven books inspired into written Words by the Holy Ghost, thus comprising the canon of the New Testament. Sixty-six perfect Books making up the perfect Bible. My God, what hast thou wrought?” Having said this grand soliloquy, he then held the King James Bible tightly against his chest in both arms in a long adoring hug. “Thank you, Tiffany, for letting me see this. Thank You, Father, for letting me into this most holy Upper Den this while. Praise the living Word of God for this written Word of God!”
“Do you like it, Flanders?” asked Tiffany, knowing that he loved it.
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In reply, he searched the Scriptures with a savant’s wisdom to see with his eyes what his tongue willed to prophesy, and he read to his Tiffany his response, “’Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O Lord God of hosts.’ Jeremiah 15:16.”
“Do you love it, Flanders?” she asked, knowing that he did very much.
“I do love this Good Book, Tiffany,” he said. “I remember how it was for believers here in America before the Devouring Griffin and Consuming Dragon took over the world. Anyone who wanted a King James Bible could get one at any bookstore. Christian bookstores had them. Secular bookstores had them. Thrift stores had them. Everyone had them (though most did not read them).
And a Christian could take his Holy Bible anywhere he wanted to; he could read it anywhere he wanted to; and he could preach it anywhere he needed to. And all the good fundamental Baptist churches had whole racks of them. And the United States gave great freedom for born-again believers with their Bibles. And no King James Bible could get a saved person or a lost person in trouble with the law.”
Tiffany Shires added, “And here we are, Flanders, we two alone in a sanctuary made safe by God, with the only such K.J.V. left intact seven years later. Truly has our Good Lord promised to preserve His Word. And here it still is, even after the Devil and his demons declared war on it in this Tribulation.”
“Tiffany, you are indeed worthy who has been entrusted by God to keep this last Good Book safe for him here as you do,” said Flanders Nickels. “Faithful and godly is the Unicorn Keeper in her ministry. You are blessed by God.” Such lofty praise heaped upon her by the Prophet of the End Times! And her face beamed with the words of these kudos. The world’s greatest born-again believer was telling her all of this!
Yet she said, “And my unicorns, too, Flanders. Don’t forget my unicorns.” In this way, she
shifted Flanders’s praise for her away from herself and unto her ten fellow servants under God.
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“And your ten unicorns, too, Tiffany,” he quickly and unhesitatingly replied. This made her feel even better yet.
The End Times Prophet continued searching the printed Scriptures as he turned page after page with “Ooo’s” and “Ahh’s” of novel marvels and new wonders. This typeface, or print, as it might be called, was made fascinating to the prophet in their perfect Words. Even the little periods were beautiful as he read from Tiffany’s Bible. Then Flanders came to the last page of the Holy Scriptures, and his eyes took in the familiar verse Revelation 22:17. He knew it as a prophet. She knew it as a Bible reader. It spoke to his heart in a tangential way from its central message of salvation. It made him think instead of his romance with Tiffy yet future. And he read it to Tiffy out loud right now from the printed page, “And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.”
His heart said the sixth word of this verse to Tiffany above all of its words. And her heart heard the sixth word of this verse above all of its words. This sixth word was, “bride.”
“I shall, Flanders,” she said, in an experimental reply to an experimental proposal. “Both here in Earth below and There in Heaven Above.” Suddenly she remembered the words of temptation and doubts that that Devouring Griffin had said to her. She doubted the fullness of her love for him suddenly again now. And she doubted the fullness of his love for her. And she dared not say any more.
“I do love you, Tiffy,” he said.
In most irrational reasoning, Miss Shires strangely asked him, “Flanders, do you love me enough to give up your Sword of the Spirit for me?”
In glory to God, he reprimanded her gently, saying, “To give up my sword would be to commit a sin against my holy God, Tiffany.” Unsure what words to say next himself, he went on to ask, “Do you love me enough to give up your Bible to the griffin and the dragon?” He knew how she would answer.
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And she did answer thus correctly, “To give up my Holy Bible to those two would make me a
great sinner against my Saviour Jesus Christ, Flanders.”
He answered wisely, “It would be wrong to give up sword and to give up Bible for the cause of love for one another, you and I, Tiffany. We must love God most of all.” He was confused as to this turnabout in their fellowship here.
She then said, “’…: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.’ I Peter 4:8.” And she turned away her eyes from him and turned away her eyes also from the Bible.
He asked her in compassion, “Tiffany, what’s wrong?”
And she said, “Does love last forever?”
And he understood now. And he said gently, “O fair and comely Tiffany, let not the words of a griffin trouble you. Let Jesus be our truth.”
And Miss Shires said, “But Flanders, Jesus says the same thing.”
“Tiffy, you surely must jest,” he said, agitated.
“No, no, Flanders,” she said. “It’s there in the Bible. We will surely fall out of love forever and ever.”
“Where does God say that in the Scriptures, Tiffany?” he did ask, himself also vexed now.
“In Matthew 22:30, Flanders,” she said. “I saw it. I read it. I believe it.”
The Prophet of the End Times recited this verse out loud, “For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.”
“You know what that means,” she said. “In our life to come we shall no longer be girlfriend and boyfriend. Nor can we become wife and husband.”
“I cannot say for sure that that is what God is saying in that verse, Tiffany,” he said.
“What do you think that that means there then?” she asked.
“I do not know,” he said. “I can say all Bible verses, but I cannot know all Bible verses.”
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“I know that that verse says that in Heaven there is no romance,” she said, “There is no marriage in Heaven, no wedding in Heaven, no dating in Heaven, no boyfriend-girlfriend stuff in Heaven between you and me ever again once we get There. We shall never kiss There; we shall never hug There; you will never say to me again, ‘You are beautiful, Tiffy,’ There. And I will never say to you again, ‘You are handsome, Flanders,’ There. Because our crush for each other and our love for each other will not be so between us when we get to Heaven. Once Jesus comes for us to deliver us from this present evil world, and we finally come home to be with Jesus, at that moment, Flanders, you and I do fall out of love for each other for ever and ever.”
Flanders thought upon her words long and hard in this ensuing silence in the Upper Den. He opened the Bible to this seemingly dread verse. And he read out loud, “…, but are as the angels of God in Heaven.”
“And angels cannot romance,” she said succinctly.
And Flanders Nickels said, “Tiffany, I think I believe you.”
“Flanders, what are we to do?” cried out the woman.
“We must learn to love Jesus most of all as we did before we met each other, Tiffany,” he said, speaking as he was thinking. “I must again fall in love with my Saviour more than I have with you. And you must learn to love in your heart Jesus more than you love in your heart me. We must make Jesus once again our first love. And the sooner the better.”
“Then you are saying, Flanders, that we must repent and get our hearts right with the Lord,” she said.
“I’m saying, Tiffany, that it seems to me that you and I must now repent of each other,” he said
most grave words.
“Must we?” she asked,
“We must,” he said.
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“If I have to do that, I will…for God,” she said.
“I as well,” he said. “For the love of God.”
A most eerie mute moment came between the two now here in the Upper Den. Flanders unsheathed his Sword of the Spirit, and looked upon it and fidgeted with it and critiqued it as a judge.
Tiffany reached for her Holy Bible back, and he gave it to her, and she idly ran the edges of the pages across her thumbs and fingers front to back over and over again. The wind blew outside and moved the
doors of this third floor room about in their doorways, the latches clacking. The song of the whippoorwills sang about outside on the second floor roof about this holy sanctuary. And the sun of the day became hazy and obscure.
And Flanders said it in its awful finality, “I must leave you, Tiffy.”
Submitting to God and boyfriend and the moment, Tiffany said, “To God be the glory.”
And, in obedience to their understanding of this Scripture verse of eschatology, Flanders and Tiffany officially broke up. Flanders left. Tiffany stayed. And Tiffany was alone most grievously here in the Upper Den. Yet, even here, in the saddest moment of her thirty years of life, Miss Shires got down on her knees in prayer and asked, “What do You need me to learn from this, O Heavenly Father?”
And the Unicorn Keeper stayed here in the Holy Bible refuge and did not leave this room. Afternoon drew on to evening, and evening drew on to night. And she lay down next to the King James Bible and fell asleep for the night.
And she woke up here the next morning. Behold, Snow-Eagle, lying upon his belly next to her, waiting for her to wake up. “Oh, wonderful, wonderful Snow-Eagle,” said the Unicorn Keeper. “I am so happy to see you!”
And Snow-Eagle replied in good cheer, “My mistress, praise the Lord for good Flanders, who has repaired all the damage to the dining room last night. It is all good as new again as it was. Amen!”
“Flanders,” she said his name to Snow-Eagle. “Is he still here?”
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“Nay, my mistress, he has gone,” said Snow-Eagle.
“Woe unto me, O best friend,” cried out Tiffany Shires. “And he is never coming back!”
“Why so?” asked Snow-Eagle, struck by her most serious words.
“Flanders and I have broken up,” she cried out. And the woman now began to weep over him.
“O Keeper, how come?” said Snow-Eagle, stammering in his words.
And Tiffany earnestly went on to say, “Sometimes, Snow-Eagle…sometimes doing the will of God can be the hardest thing to do.”
“O Mistress, my foolish, hasty mistress,” said Snow-Eagle, “do you not know that it is the will of God that the great prophet be here with us in the castle in his mission for the Lord—especially now in these last days of this Great Tribulation?”
“I do not understand,” said the Unicorn Keeper, perplexed.
“Christ has brought Flanders here to the HomeStead to protect us,” said Snow-Eagle. “And now he is gone away from the HomeStead! Surely without the Prophet of the End Times fighting here with us, the Devouring Griffin and the Consuming Dragon will assuredly kill us and take the Bible in their next assault against God!”
The Unicorn Keeper said, “But we both thought that we were doing the right thing.”
“Did you pray about that decision before you made it?” asked the unicorn full of wisdom.
“No,” confessed Miss Shires. “Neither I nor Flanders prayed about it first.”
“Keeper of the unicorns,” said Snow-Eagle, “We must keep the Bible! That is all that matters! I greatly fear for my first time!”
“My Lord and my God!” cried out Tiffany, convicted of her sins, “I have failed You as Unicorn Keeper!”
“There is still hope!” exclaimed her unicorn confidant. “We still have God on our side. And He is always the God of hope!”
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“Then in the Lord I shall hope,” said the Unicorn Keeper.
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CHAPTER VI
Just then Sentry stormed in with tidings, declaring, “O keeper, the gates of Hell have been opened, and it is loosed upon us now! Both the Devouring Griffin and the Consuming Dragon are entering God’s Country—one from the east; and one from the west—and they are quickly coming here to the castle!”
And Sentinel also came in and had tidings of his own, with good news for an evil time, saying,
“Mistress, Snow-Eagle, Sentry, the Prophet of the End Times stands outside, seeking entrance into the castle!”
And the Unicorn Keeper gave forth wise and discerning commands, “Let in Flanders Nickels the prophet. Snow-Eagle command your unicorns to come out onto the roof. Great is God’s faithfulness!”
At once Flanders was in the HomeStead. He and Tiffany stood before each other, reconciled, repentant and with love in their eyes. He said, “Tiffy, the Holy Spirit said to me, ‘Go back to the girl.’
And now I am back.”
“God is good,” prayed Tiffany. “I am happy once again.” They gave each other a quick little
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hug and a sweet little kiss on the noses.
“We must act quickly,” said Flanders. “They shall both be here any moment now.”
And there they were, off in both horizons, and quickly converging toward the HomeStead.
The Unicorn Keeper said to the End Times Prophet in due submission, “I hereby renounce all of my authority over the unicorns to you in this great battle, O Flanders.”
And he said, “My commandments will be God’s commandments,” in due submission to the Lord. And he drew his saber and declared, “The Sword of the Lord, and of Flanders!”
And the two stepped out of the Upper Den and stood out on the roof over the second story. The ten unicorns stood there upon the roof. The Unicorn Keeper said to her unicorns, “Fellow soldiers of Christ, listen to Flanders.”
Behold, from the east came the Devouring Griffin, cursing the saints of the world. Lo, from the west came the Consuming Dragon, blaspheming God and Heaven.
Flanders gave battle orders, and the ten unicorns obeyed: Snow-Eagle and four other unicorns were to protect the Upper Den from the charging Devouring Griffin. Sentry and Sentinel and three other unicorns were to protect the Upper Den from the charging Consuming Dragon. And griffin of griffins and dragon of dragons lighted upon the roof, shaking the mighty castle as they landed. The two great forces of evil sought together to fight their way to the third floor room from both sides and to seize the precious Prize within. And over this sole King James Bible good and evil now fought their climactic battle from the ages of history.
Flanders gave the official order to attack now, “’…: for the Lord your God, he it is that fighteth
for you, as he hath promised you.’ Joshua 23:10. In the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ: Assault!” And war broke out upon the castle roof in a culmination of this Great Tribulation and its seven years. Flanders struck and thrust and parried and deflected with his Sword of the Lord like a
mighty Old Testament angel. Tiffany Shires spoke Bible verses out of her mouth from the many
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Bible verses that she had memorized these past seven years. The ten unicorns fought “tooth and nail”
by way of horn and hooves and teeth. And the two rulers over evil fought back with equal fierceness and force and fearsomeness. And griffin and dragon stood their grounds and did not retreat.
For a long moment of warfare, neither camp retreated, and neither camp advanced. Then the camp of evil took one step forward on both sides. The camp of good was confused for a moment.
Quickly the wily prophet made adjustments, gave the necessary commands, and good was focused again. Yet evil advanced again upon this roof, this time both griffin and dragon taking two steps forward from both sides. Behold, a unicorn fell wounded in battle! Flanders rallied the troops, and they were massed more strategically, and they stood their ground once again. But then another unicorn fell in battle. Woe! The forces of the Devil advanced again toward the Upper Den from both sides—this time both taking three steps forward. The great prophet of God gave forth new commands in this dire moment, and good rallied against evil and stopped evil’s advance for the moment. Then two more unicorns fell wounded in battle—lo, they were both Sentry and Sentinel! Snow-Eagle fought on, sure and steady. The five other unicorns ran about in disarray. And griffin and dragon now took five steps forward on both sides. Tiffany was praying. Flanders was becoming weary with his sword arm. Griffin and dragon then advanced the rest of the way. And there they both stood, the griffin next to the one wall of the Upper Den, and the dragon next to the opposite wall of the Upper Den. The last Bible was now in its most precarious state since the first inspiration of the Scriptures millennia ago. All looked lost for the cause of Christ.
Suddenly Tiffany went and charged the Devouring Griffin with only her woman’s self! The lady crashed hard into the griffin, not fazing the griffin, but rendering herself stunned. Offended by this
crazy attack, the baleful griffin reached out with his eagle talons of his right eagle claw, and he grabbed
Tiffany’s head in a vise-like grip, and snapped her head back viciously with a jerk of his eagle leg. Tiffany Shires fell down in an unconscious heap and lay there, dead or alive.
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“Mistress, my Keeper!” cried out Snow-Eagle in panic. Flanders left battle behind to run up to
his beloved. Five of the remaining unicorns came up to where she lay. But Snow-Eagle charged the griffin who had done this with his most avenging attack he had ever launched. And he impaled his fell unicorn horn deep into the lion belly of the Devouring Griffin. And the Devouring Griffin staggered, but did not fall, nor retreat.
Flanders whispered to Tiffany, “You are going to be all right.”
The girl came to. She shook her head. She felt her neck all around. She sat up. She got back to her feet. “I am going to be all right, I think,” she said. But then she saw the confrontation between beloved unicorn and hated griffin.
And the world’s most dangerous griffin now said in dark utterance unto Snow-Eagle in the voice as of many avenging spirits, “For one hurt done unto me I had promised thee my revenge, O chief unicorn; but for two, I hereby proclaim thy demise!”
Snow-Eagle was about to give forth rebuttal of war of words, but everything all of a sudden happened too fast for him to do so. With the rage of many demons, the Devouring Griffin fell upon Snow-Eagle with overwhelming might, and he quite broke him up where he stood. Great Snow-Eagle fell, wounded in battle to the point of mutilation. But it was to go even worse for him before his dear mistress’s eyes. Moved by Satan, the Devouring Griffin grabbed up the sprawled unicorn of unicorns with his eagle talons and his lion paws, lifted up into the air just above this castle, flew over to the battlement, and dropped him down over the edge! Snow-Eagle, the equine, fell two stories down and landed sickeningly into the moat below. The sound of the splash made Tiffany cold in her skin
and void of strength of legs and arms and nauseous in her belly. The Unicorn Keeper was too afraid to go to the battlement and dare to look down. The Unicorn Keeper was too afraid to not go and take a look. She had to go and help her dear Snow-Eagle down there.
But then the sound of falling walls made her look back at the Upper Den. Behold the wall of
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the Upper Den razed before the Consuming Dragon and the opposite wall of the Upper Den razed before the Devouring Griffin! Lo, Tiffany’s last Bible exposed to dragon and griffin! There it was, ready for the taking away from this Earth! God’s Word was about to be removed from the world!
The Devouring Griffin then spoke to the camp of good and to the world and to God, saying, “I shall now devour this Holy Bible once and for all.”
And the Consuming Dragon went on to say to all who would hear both here and away among
the believers of the world and of Heaven, “I shall now consume this King James Bible lock, stock, and barrel.”
And the two most wicked personages of Earth’s history stepped out into the most holy place since the dawn of man.
Suddenly one like unto the Son of God appeared at Flanders’s right side. This Deity put His hand on Flanders’s shoulder, spoke to him with the peace of a still small voice, and put His hand on Flanders’s head in silent blessing. After this, a dove descended from Heaven and came down into this
Son of God’s heart. Then this Lord ascended back Up to Heaven in a cloud. Even the griffin and the dragon stopped what they were about to do to watch this Christophany thus.
And Flanders Arckery Nickels, the Prophet of the End Times, recited the two verses which made even Satan the Devil to tremble and to quake and to flee: “It is written, ‘And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshiped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone.’ Revelation 19:20. O Consuming Dragon, you are that beast antichrist. O Devouring Griffin, you are that deceiver false prophet!”
Instantaneously were both dragon and griffin defeated in battle. And in disorder and chaos the two world rulers instantly sought flight in escape from the prophet and his words of prophecy from the Son of God.
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But the Prophet of the End Times had a parallel Scripture verse from God’s Son to finish off what he had begun with the first verse. And he said it to them with the truth from God, “It is written, ‘And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever.’ Revelation 20:10. O Devouring Griffin and Consuming Dragon, in the name of Jesus Christ I say, ‘Get you behind me!’ and ‘Get you hence!’”
And just like that the invincible griffin and the unconquerable dragon were shot down out of the sky in which they were fleeing by these words of doom for all evil. They crashed dead into the ground just outside of the boundary of God’s Country, and they burst into an inferno, and the ground opened up before them to receive them into the bottomless pit, and they fell down there into Hell, and the ground closed back up upon them. And all battle was suddenly over. God and good triumphed over Satan and evil once and for all.
And Tiffany Kimberley Shires’s precious and adored and cherished King James Version Bible was okay and intact and still preserved, just as God promised throughout the Good Book about itself.
“Snow-Eagle!” cried out Flanders, looking over the battlement to the moat below. His tone betrayed bad news to the Unicorn Keeper. Instead of looking down with Flanders, Tiffany decided to run down the stairs to the ground floor and run out to her beloved and to be with him at once. She came out of the big door down there to see and to pray. There lay Snow-Eagle, on his side on the grassy bank, having rallied and climbed up out of the water wherein he had fallen.
“Snow-Eagle!” cried out Tiffany, falling upon her knees at his side.
With labored breath Snow-Eagle replied, “O dear Mistress, I must go the way of all the earth.”
She put her hand lovingly to his neck and tenderly stroked his mane. She did not want to cry.
She said, “No, Snow-Eagle. You will get better. You just need to rest and get well for a while. I will help you. We will go riding together through the woods like the wind. We will go for our walks again.
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We will continue finding new places that we have not yet discovered in this beautiful God’s Country.
You will win more games of Skill and Chance. We can fellowship together with the Bible again. I still have the Bible—thanks to God and Flanders. We will go to the grove again, and I will pick a white grapefruit for the both of us.”
Snow-Eagle replied with an uncharacteristically faint voice now where he lay, “Mistress, I shall wait for you in Heaven.”
“Snow-Eagle, I need you down here yet,” she cried out. “Remember all those rides we took through the forests?” she asked again. “I always had on my favorite one-piece swimsuit in our rides through the forests. I always talked about it. You remember. I have it on again now.”
In a dying whisper, Snow-Eagle lifted his kingly unicorn head from the ground and said, “I love you, Tiffany.”
And Tiffany accepted the will of God. “And I love you, too, Snow-Eagle,” she said with a broken voice. Then the great unicorn lay back down upon the ground his head and his horn. Renowned and illustrious Snow-Eagle was dead. And Tiffany wept. And as she cried, she prayed up to God that her tears may cleanse her best friend from his bleeding. Gentle Jesus heard her and answered her. He sent down rain from Heaven to cleanse the form of Snow-Eagle from his much bleeding. It was a beautiful rain. It was a refreshing rain. It was a comforting rain.
Tiffany Shires felt a hand upon her shoulder. She stopped weeping. She looked up. It was her special boyfriend. “I care, Tiffy,” he said in compassion and in empathy. She looked around and saw all nine other unicorns down here with her as well. Like herself, all these ten who had come down to be with her here were all wounded, but all alive. “We all care, Tiffany,” he said in love for her. He helped her up to her feet.
“God is good even when things are bad,” said the Unicorn Keeper.
Flanders looked down upon the form of Snow-Eagle, understood the late unicorn’s need for an
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honorable burial, and said, “Let me help, Tiffany.”
In understanding, Tiffany said, “Thank you, Flanders. I love you.”
And in his love for her and for Snow-Eagle, Flanders began to labor thus with a shovel for the memory of the dear unicorn. And Snow-Eagle, who died for the cause of God, was laid in the grave and buried in due honor and homage.
Then the rain stopped falling. The sun came out. And soon everything was dry and comfortable again outside. “It is done,” she said.
“It is finished,” he said.
“Snow-Eagle is running the Elysian Fields with Century,” she said.
“He is,” said Flanders.
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CHAPTER VII
It was cool fall of October here in God’s Country, and Flanders and Tiffany were on another fellowship date here in her little Christmas tree farm off along the northern border of her great diverse land. Flanders and the nine unicorns had worked together to repair the walls of that Upper Den from the great battle. The war wounds suffered by these forces of good were all well now. And Flanders’s companionship had assuaged the pain of grief in Tiffany’s heart over the passing away of Snow-Eagle.
With the two here now in the Christmas tree farm was a hymnbook and her Holy Bible and his saddlebags. The hymnbook she had bought from a Christian bookstore. Such bookstores were everywhere now that the great dragon and the great griffin were gone. And her Holy Bible was no longer in danger from the Tribulation, because the Tribulation had ended with the coming of Jesus.
Everybody nowadays had King James Bibles. And about his saddlebags, she did not know the surprise he had for her within them. He had brought them with him in the resurrection of the believers in the Second Coming, when all evil was put down. The Good Lord Jesus now ruled and reigned in a righteous kingdom, and His throne was in Jerusalem, and this was the most glorious Millennial Reign on Earth. Indeed the Devil was cast into the bottomless pit to someday join the dragon and the griffin
in the lake of fire and brimstone forever and ever in the fullness of time. And all in Earth here now
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in the souls of creation was love and joy and peace. And all on Earth here now in the spirits of creation was righteousness and uprightness and holiness.
Here among the Christmas trees, boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-Christ opened up the hymnbook to
the Christmas carol section. And the first Christmas carol they came to was the song, “Joy to the World!”
“Ah, Flanders,” said Tiffany, “That one. A carol of carols to me!”
“And to think that it is not truly about Christmas, Tiffany,” he said.
“It’s not?” she asked.
“It is really about our Saviour’s Second Coming, and not our Saviour’s First Coming,” Flanders edified her.
“It is really all about right now for us then, isn’t it, Flanders?” she asked.
“Joy to the world!” he praised Christ as Lord and Master.
And boyfriend-and-girlfriend-in-the-Lord began to sing this great song together, the hymnbook
open upon his lap as they sang:
“1. Joy to the world! The Lord is come!
Let Earth receive her King;
Let ev’ry heart prepare Him room,
And heav’n and nature sing,
And heav’n and nature sing,
And heav’n, and heav’n and nature sing.
- Joy to the Earth! The Saviour reigns!
Let men their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat, repeat the sounding joy.
- No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
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Far as, far as the curse is found.
4, He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders of His love.”
The carol done, Tiffany then looked upon her boyfriend’s saddlebags, his last remnant of his late Century. He had brought them with him in his long journey. She saw him holding those that first time she saw him at her door back in the castle. He slept with them beside him in the Commons ever since she and he had begun dating. And he seemed to regard them with the same vigilance as he did his
old sword back in the days of war. “Flanders,” she finally went and asked him, “what do you have in the saddlebags?”
In tease he said, “You women are a very curious gender.”
“In the Tribulation you used to carry your sword with you everywhere you went. You had to. God willed it,” she said. “Here in the Thousand-Year-Reign, you carry those saddlebags with you everywhere you go. You don’t have to. I don’t know if God wills or not wills that.”
In further tease he said, “Tiffy, curiosity kills the cat.”
“I know that you are just dying to tell me, but that you do not think that the time is right to tell me yet,” she said.
“Well, Tiffany, today is the day I must tell you,” he said. Then he said, “What’s today?”
“October 22,” she said.
“October 22,” he said. “Your birthday, Tiffy.”
“You knew!” she said in gladness and thanksgiving.
“I knew,” he said. “Happy Birthday, girl. And here in my saddlebags is your birthday present.”
And he pulled out his most familiar box of wood and brass.
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“Why, Flanders, it looks just like a little treasure chest!” she sang out in glee. “Is it really for me?”
“It is, Tiffy,” he said. “I hope you like it.”
“Oh, I will!” she said at once. A gift for a woman from Flanders was surely a gift after her own heart. She paused now for just a moment and asked, “Flanders, who told you that it was my birthday today?”
“Why, all of the unicorns told me, Tiffy,” he teased her. “They all told me long ago.”
“And did my unicorn tell you how old I will be today, Flanders?” she asked.
“Thirty-one years old today,” he said with a broad grin.
“I bet that you went and asked them, didn’t you?” she said, laughing in this merriment with Flanders.
“You could kind of say that I asked a woman her age,” he said with a laugh.
“And behind her back, at that, Flanders,” she said, laughing hard with her wily boyfriend.
“Go ahead. Open it up,” he said.
“I can’t. I have no key,” she said.
“Oh yes. The key,” he said. “And he pulled it out of his pocket and gave it to her.
“I’m so excited, Flanders!” she said. And she quickly opened up this wooden box. And there it was. Her eyes looked upon that slinky and sleek black one-piece swimsuit. He looked upon her beautiful eyes as her beautiful eyes looked upon that black maillot. Truly the browns of her eyes sparkled with a newborn wonder that even he had never seen upon her countenance before. She liked it. Indeed she loved it. At first she could not speak. Too overcome for words, she took it adoringly by its black shoulder straps, held it up, and smelled it in its fresh unworn aroma of new nylon/Spandex.
She got to her feet, held it against her female body, and it looked like it would fit her. She had never had a solid black one-piece swimsuit before. It was the nicest birthday present that anybody had ever
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given to her! Of all blessings from God in this Millennial Reign, only her so great salvation fulfilled here in Heaven on Earth was a greater blessing to her than this women’s black one-piece swimsuit in her hands now. And, upon gazing upon this black maillot, now her red and white and blue maillot she had on now seemed to be kind of old and trite. It was time for a new one-piece swimsuit for Miss Tiffany Kimberley Shires. And this was the one. And now was the time. And she would not wait till she got back to the castle to change into it. She wanted to put it on for herself right now. She would dress up in this for herself and for her beneficent boyfriend. She looked around for a good place to hide behind in order to do her business that she wanted to do. All this time she did not speak a word about her great effervescent delights; but her countenance and her posture and her body language all manifested to Flanders her great awe and appreciation of this new “most beautiful thing in the world.”
And he was rejoicing in her rejoicing. She could not wait to put this on. And he could not wait to see her in it.
And she looked out upon the expanse of Christmas trees everywhere all about her. She needed only to choose a Christmas tree anywhere not far away, And she skipped to one not real far away that should preserve her modesty as she did her woman’s business. Then she said, “Flanders, turn around and do not look. A woman needs her privacy when she puts on her one-piece swimsuit.”
He turned around and said, “A woman needs her privacy when she takes off her one-piece swimsuit, too.”
“Yeah. I know. You’re right,” she said. “Now cover your eyes.”
His back toward her, he gave in to her wishes, and he put his right hand over his eyes where he stood. “I’m waiting,” he said.
“Now look down,” she said, still watching him from behind the little trees.
He then pointed his head down, his eyes covered, and his back to her. He said, “God can still see you, Tiffy.”
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“That’s all right,” said Tiffany. “He’s God.” The young woman then took off her old maillot and let it fall down to the ground at her feet. She stepped her feet out from the swimsuit on the ground.
She paused for just a moment. Everything was going to be different for her for now on in her manner of dress. She then said confidently to God, “Out with the old, and in with the new!” And she slipped into her new maillot, pulled it up over her breasts, and pulled the shoulder straps across her shoulders.
It was a perfect fit for this woman. And it felt good and comfortable and practical. Still hiding behind these Christmas trees, though now decently covered, she called out, “Flanders, how did you know my swimsuit size?”
He said, “Well, Tiffy, back home, when I loved you from afar, I always thought of you as being the same size I am. You are a tall for a woman; I am short for a man. I knew my size in men’s sizes, but I did not know my size in women’s sizes. So, when I went to the Boston Store and looked around for a black one-piece swimsuit that I daydreamed about someday giving to you, I had to ask the woman clerk what size maillot would fit a woman that was the same size I was. Needless to say, though it was the truth, I sounded very fishy. How many guys go and buy a woman’s swimsuit without a woman with him? But because I was the famous Flanders Nickels, for what that was worth, the gal behind the counter told me, ‘That, O Prophet, would be a size ten.’ And I bought it and took it home and waited for my big chance—to give this prize to the beautiful Unicorn Keeper. And now my dreams have come true, Tiffy.”
“Well, at least you did not find that out about me by asking my unicorns, boyfriend.” she said. Then she said, “I’m done dressing now. You can turn around and look, Flanders.”
He then raised his head and took away his hand from his eyes and opened his eyes and turned around to look. And she came walking nonchalantly and ostentatiously out from behind the willow tree
like a fashion model walking the runway.
“Whoa! Black one-piece swimsuit goddess! Oo la la!” he said provocatively.
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Her old patriotic maillot was in both of her hands as she walked up to him. And she asked, “May I give you a present on my birthday, Flanders?”
“I love to get presents on any day, Tiffy,” he said. “What do you wish to give me?”
“This, boyfriend,” she said. And she proffered to him her most traditional red and white and blue and stars and stripes one-piece swimsuit.
“No!” he exclaimed at first. “No,” he stated in hesitation. “No?” he asked in desire.
“Yes and yes and yes, Flanders,” said Tiffany Shires. “Only if you like it,”
“Oh, I do,” said Flanders. “I loved it as you loved it. I never thought that it could be mine, though.”
“It is what I was in my old life as Unicorn Keeper, Flanders, before Christ came back. I would like it to be yours for now on now that our Jesus has returned,” she said.
He reached out and took that most ravishing maillot from his girlfriend’s outstretched hands. And he said, “I promise to take care of this as you have taken care of this, Tiffy.”
“It is written, Flanders,” she said, “’There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour. This also I saw, that it was from the hand of God.’ Ecclesiastes 2:24.”
“Be it the Lord’s will,” he said. He then said, “It is written, Tiffy, ‘I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life. And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.’ Ecclesiastes 3:12-13.”
“Be it okay in the eyes of the holy God,” said wise Tiffany. Then she went on to say, “It is written also, ‘Wherefore I perceive that there is nothing better, than that a man should rejoice in his own works; for that is his portion: for who shall bring him to see what shall be after him?’ Ecclesiastes 3:22.”
“Be it in accordance with God’s Word,” he said. “Further it is written, ‘Behold that which I
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I have seen: it is good and comely for one to eat and to drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labour that he taketh under the sun all the days of his life, which God giveth him: for it is his portion.’ Ecclesiastes 5:18.”
“Be it not a breaking of a commandment of God,” Tiffany did say. Then she added, “It is written last, Flanders, ‘Then I commended mirth, because a man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry: for that shall abide with him of his labour the days of his life, which God giveth him under the sun.’ Ecclesiastes 8:15.”
“Be it the thing to do if Jesus is there watching you.” he said. “And He is.”
In summary of these verses and their responses, man and woman in a unique bond of chemistry and communication and understanding, Flanders promised Tiffany, “I shall not put on your old one-piece swimsuit, Tiffy.”
“I love you, Flanders,” said Tiffany Shires.
And I love you, Tiffany,” said Flanders Nickels.
“Let’s go and see Jesus, Flanders,” said Miss Shires.
“Yes! Let’s, Tiffy!” said Flanders.
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